Another Elf love-hate thread

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>>46411685
Posting the best elf.

>>46411685
>I like elves because animu
>I hate elves because animu
>I like elves cause sextoy
>I hate elves because non-human
>I like elves cause [lore thing]
>I hate elves cause shitty players

There, that's the thread.

>>46411739
Sounds like a good thread.

>>46411739
>I hate elves because non-human

this is seriously one of the most annoying things, because it's applied to all non-human fantasy races and usually followed by EMPRAH posting and "Garithos was right" memes.

humanfags please go

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>>46411685

If you don't like elves then make them the opposite of terrible.

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>>46411756
It must be or we wouldn't keep having them.

>>46411775
Don't forget the Sunny D paladin (I don't know his name or what meme game he's from)

>>46411775
>>46411775
>humanfags please go

No.

Now, I'm going to outline WHY I hate knife-ears.

They rarely if ever, have meaningful flaws as a race. If they're viewed as ancient, wise ponces, I'm going to remove knife-ear with a smile on my face, and I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks.

What makes elves good besides being fetishy animu shit? Sell me on it, faggots.

>>46411775
>"Garithos was right" memes.

But he was.

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Why are old-school elves the best

Is it because they're unironically elfish

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>>46411685
>this type of topic is a staple of /tg.

I think you meant to say "this type of topic is stale /tg."

>>46411856
>What makes elves good besides being fetishy animu shit?
Good luck, that's the worst shit about elves and it's the only thing this board talks about.

>>46411856
I mostly like them because they're the opposite of dorfs, and I'm getting real tired of dorf fags.

That, and I'm tall, pretty, and as a Scandinavian who browses 4chan, I'm often left with the impression that the rest of the world either hates me or wants to fuck me. So I feel I can relate.

>>46411856

i don't actually care about elves

as my post illustrated, i dislike when humanfags shit on all non-human races for being non-human

humans are boring as fuck 99% of the time (elves are boring 100% of the time, though)

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>>46411899
>I'm often left with the impression that the rest of the world either hates me or wants to fuck me.
>Implying those are mutually exclusive dispositions
It's like you've never been in one of these threads.

>>46411847
Solaire? I don't know why he's be posted in elf-hate threads, since there were no elves in Dark Souls. Even if there were, he seems like the kind of guy who'd be cool with elves as long as they believed in jolly cooperation.

>>46411856
>I hate them, now tell me why I shouldn't hate them
Pass, with that kind of attitude you'll dismiss any arguments out of hand.

>>46411856
>knife-ear

Do you really understand how stupid it is to try and use that as an insult, spoonear?

Protip: If it's done in Dragon Age, it's probably stupid.

>>46411957
Spoonears are for spooning, knife ears are for knifing.

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Honestly, screw the copious amounts of girly, frilly and smooth elf girl pics. Bring on some hardened male elf veterans instead dammit!

>>46411930
Hatefuck is bestfuck.

>>46411920
>99% of the time humans are boring

Only if the setting, GM, or players make them that way.

The ideal setup is cultural differentiation and subfactions within each race. After all, IRL humans are divided as fuck and part of that is the cultural heritage any given group draws from. Why should fantasy races be different?

But nope. Elves = 200,000% enlightened vegans. Drow = always matriarchal sadists with a spider fetish. Kobolds = Always sniveling little cowards with a hard-on for traps.

It's fucking annoying.

>>46411946
I hate them when they're written poorly, faggot.

Done right, I do feel like they'd be decent additions to a setting. Problem is, they're never done right. The only exception I've seen has been Dragon Age-

>>46411957
>If it's done in Dragon Age, it's probably stupid.

Aaaand into the trash it goes.

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The real reason I'am one of the those hooomans who think elves suck.

they're too old

>>46411989

i definitely agree

>>46411989

Then don't use the same carbon-copy elves that everyone else uses.

Create a homebrew elf culture or something that's suites your personal preferences.

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>>46411856
J.R.R. Tolkien had to find a way to make white people feel racially inferior to someone, so he made White People+1. Surprisingly, this actually worked, and turned unaccomplished white nerds into massive racists against a race that doesn't even exist.

That violent, impotent rage you feel is probably what Robert Mugabe feels every day of his presidency as his people starve to death because he killed all of the white farmers.

>>46412024
>Then don't use the same carbon-copy elves that everyone else uses.

yeah but try not to go TOO HARD on making them different

so many times, ill see in worldbuilding threads or something, where people's elves are just attractive orcs

i don't really see the point of skin-swapping races. i'd rather something interesting be done on a personal level to characters of that race rather than turn the race into "elves that act like orcs/dwarves/trolls/goblins/gnomes/whatever but theyre actually elves"

it's cheap

>>46412001
You are living garbage.

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>>46411982
damn, i agree anon we do need more gruffed up hardened male elves, for the ladies of course.

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>>46411989
I like where you're coming from, but cultural differentiation and subfactions can very easily lead into a setting with hundreds of different clans of high elves, wood elves, grey elves, dark elves, half-elves, green elves, space elves... Which isn't bad on its own, but handled by a poor DM or writer, it leaves you with the sense that none of them add to the plot or have a purpose (beyond an attempt to jam as many elves with as many sooper-special features as possible into the setting).

>>46411930
Are elven ears really that sensitive as pervy fantasy nerd tend to make it seem? Would your elf wife/gf find it arousing when you rub her ear?

Also iam now waiting for that one guy who'll now try to bring up LCB for reasons

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>>46412069
Hey, it's not my fault the only redeeming factor of elves who aren't written by Bioware (fucking Bioware, how low is that?) is that they're animu waifu shit material these days.

Even in Lord of the Rings, they were too perfect for my tastes, and as much of a classic as LotR (the books, but I'll admit the movies were great in their own right) is, I just couldn't get past anything to do with the elves without grimacing.

>>46412093
Well, mechanically they wouldn't be different at all. And it wouldn't be specific to the elves.

Minimizing the amount of homebrew you'd need to make would be an ideal approach. Just make backstory notes and lore snippets as-needed. If they're bit players, they're bit players.

>>46412112
You are like a collection of bad taste and poor opinions.

Please, tell me more, and be sure to use a trip, so that future generations can easily point to your posts and say "Look, look upon all the wrong opinions of this world, and laugh."

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>>46412054

I personally wouldn't go a far as making them more like other race. Just drastically tone down the whole girly OP thing to a more satisfying level.

>>46411982

your sir know how to elf.

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>>46411936
anon has solaire confused with Pelinal Whitestrake, the time-traveling magic cyborg fueled by hatred of disgusting elves.

>>46412001
>unironically liking Dragon Age

And let's not pretend you only like its elves because 'lol they slaves now'

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Dark elves are my favorite Warhammer faction

real shame the whole setting is kill

Best elf-based exhentai links?

>>46412462
http://exhentai.org/g/865937/c60e7026cf/

>>46412402
Not that guy 'lol they slaves now' was one of the reasons I liked it, and I played a female city elf through Origins. I ranged between hilarity and pandering to my fetish of being abused and spoken down to.

Doing the lesbian thing with Leliana and then watch her repeatingly stumble over her own white guilt and mercilessly roasting her in it and watch her squirm was hilarious.

>>46411856
>>46411856

An elves greatest flaw is their pride. Many think themselves better than others, when in truth they are only gifted in small ways. Age never equates wisdom, wisdom is gained by experience. Most elves keep to themselves in their hidden realms wallowing in their pride becoming decadent and corrupt, while those who escape these places and experience a world beyond the mists find things larger then they, and find beauty in the fleeting moments with others.

>>46412402
Actually, I like them because they have actual flaws. The Dalish are dealing with half-remembered lore and live a nomadic lifestyle as savages. They're genuinely mistaken as to the holiness of the Fade, and it's pretty heavily implied their deities are at least vaguely Lovecraftian with all the shit that implies.

I liked the presentation of elves in Dragon Age because they were as flawed as everyone else. Elf waifu a shit, bring in more demon-worshipers.

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>>46411982
There will be no elf-thread in which I don't bring up Warhammers High Elves Warhammers Dark Elves are cool too

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>>46412462

>>46412745
Is link an elf?

>>46412739
It's so hard to take them seriously with their retarded helmets though.
I get that they need to look big because of their size on the tabletop but still.

>>46412442
Aren't they like pirates now?

Or 'scourge privateers' who are professional monster hunters and have really big ships?

That's what age of shitmar says anyways.

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>>46411811
Post-ww2, Suez Canal Crisis era british are a disturbingly good analogue for elves, all that "We Wuz Rulerz o da wurld", declining empire pathos mixed in with snootiness and that sincere belief that everyone should thank them because they built a load of magical artifacts/railroads when they were ruling various locations.

>>46412796
link is sad panda

>>46412745
This doesn't End well. It never does.

>>46412094
Ears are supposedly an erogenous zone for humans too. Yet I have never seen or experienced any sexual activity connected to them.

Even if elf ears had billions of receptors, it would feel like touching your dick/clit after sex if you never experienced it, try fapping twice in a row and see how it feels. Not that great.

>>46412864
>It never does.
Oh c'mon, he made some stuff with happy end.

>>46412891
I've done it.

It honestly feels even better desu. I've even gotten legit female orgasms from it.

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>>46412796

Hyrulians are all elves, duh.

Legend of Zelda games are rare in that they're the lesser spotted "majority elf setting" where humans are either entirely or largely non-existent.

>>46412909
Really? I haven't seen any happy endings from that artist.

>>46412842

Yup.

You gotta know the ancient elven "Secret of the Url" to make it past the sad panda of disappointment.

How do you prefer your elf ears? Normal length or long? Floppy or upright? Dull tipped or sharp points?

>>46412864

link gets cut up and eaten by gammon.

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>>46412535
I hate Dragon Ages elves because there is nothing positive about them. Aside from the racial bonuses I don't know why I should ever play as them and in the lore they seemed irrelevant to me. But at least the Dalish got some good art.

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>>46412933
Like that

>>46412923
There's the cripple one.
He also has some stuff with happy ending halfway through that then become un-happy latter on.

>>46412923
http://g.e-hentai.org/g/158971/9ac820be34/

>>46412745
Oh boy, that one... Yeah, no thanks. Shindol has a nice style, but dear god, I wish he could draw some... Normal stuff every once in a while, ya know? Too much rape and misery, and I cannot stomach gore in my porn at all, so he ends in the same box as Asanagi. But that's just me. I know other people enjoy his work a lot.

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>>46412933
Japan does horrible things to elves, but I their longer ears that can show emotions are great.

>>46412968
Also Afghan girl one.

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>>46412993

Some of it actually makes sense - long ears would likely droop a little if they filled with blood due to blushing or embarassement or people are talking about them behind their back.

Gonna remake Pathfinder elves into an NPC fey race. Figure they could be the First World's gut reaction to humanity, a sort of overpowered fey equivalent that's still instinctive to a considerable degree but has magic instincts to make up for their deficiency in logic/thought.

I have a few things plotted out already, but I think their spell-like abilities might be over the top.

CL 5th:
at will - spark
5/day - aggressive thundercloud, anthropomorphic animal, garden of peril

The general concept is "fey equivalent that's alien as fuck and not to be fucked with", basically.

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>>46412993
Post emotive ears.
>>46413001
I certainly didn't feel happy at the end of it but I suppose you're right.

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>>46412933
I prefer mine normal but pointed.

>>46413014
Ears are mostly cartilage though...

>>46412933
Long as fuck knife-ears I like. They can be moved about and actually help hear the sounds of magic or music or quiet flatulence.

>>46412052
>white people are superior in every way to everyone else

>>46413086
>victorianwithshotatrapcomic

>>46413086
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JXrDwtiqQs

>>46411739
You forgot one.
>I hate elves because M:tG.

>>46411899
>Scandinavian

Elves are haram, you know that right?

>>46413180
I don't play M:tG. Tell me about those elves.

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>>46412949
It's a shame most elf art produced these days is either animu shit or Dragon Age shit.

>>46413086
Well, when I walk on the streets of my hometown, I don't have to step over piles of human feces, bodies, mass graves and streams of toxic waste. I don't have to dodge bullets, free-roaming terrorists, nerve gas bombings and communist people's party death squads.
When I go to vote I don't get shot or blown up on the way there, and while the politicians are worthless thieving shitstains, atleast they won't take ALL the money, kill me for fun, allow the market to be flooded with fatally counterfeit products for minor profit or give power to radical religious fundamentalists until the army makes a coup and turns the country into a military dictatorship.

I'd say white people are pretty good, yeah.

>>46412981
>I wish SHE could draw some... Normal stuff every once in a while
ftfy

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>>46413203
>Scandinavia is Sweden.
Amerilard detected, how does it feel live in country with less than 50% whites?

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>>46411685
best elfu coming through

fuck the silver flame

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>>46413418
>Denmark getting mad at Portugal for not taking in refugees
>Finland beginning to allow them in in large numbers
>how does it feel live in country with less than 50% whites?

You're about to find out.

>>46413428
>hating on loli-pope

>>46413418
America is pretty much 60/40, if you including ethnic and racial differences, anon.

>>46413469
Poortugal is brown anyway so they won't notice.

>>46413496
>a slut who pleasure old paladins for Couatls

>>46413418
Better than living in the new Caliphate. MAN SURE IS FREE IN EURABIA

>>46413356
Basically, there's different creature types for creatures. And each block will rotate which types are most popular for each color. So White may see Humans, Rebels, Soldiers, Knights, Leonins (catwarriors), Loxodons (elephants), Halflings, Priests, etc.

Red will have Goblins, Orcs, Dwarves, Elementals, Dragons, Viashino (desert lizards), Barbarians, etc.

Green has elves. Every set has elves. Sometimes there are other things too, but there's always more elves.

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>>46413469
>>Denmark getting mad at Portugal for not taking in refugees

The government tried but those ungrateful "refugee" cunts don't want to move here because we expect them to work

http://portugalresident.com/refugees-don%E2%80%99t-want-to-come-to-portugal

>>46413535
t. Ahmed the Frenchman

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>>46413469
>Denmark just made the toughest anti-immigration laws in modern history. Literally Hitler according to cucked American medias like the Washington Post for requiring refugees to pay for themselves if possible.
>Even the Swedes have enforced border control.

Meanwhile America is gonna be controlled by Hillary, you'll be flooded by Mexicans and refugees.

>>46413588
t. Rape baby of Ahmed the Arab

>>46413567
At least SWAT isn't gonna break into my house at night unannounced and shoot my dog., or me for that matter.

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Fuck off, post elves if you want to do who is the whitest contest just go on /int/ or /pol/

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>>46413624
I am shitposting and posting elves, is that alright?

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>>46413039
>Post emotive ears.

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Better version here
you are worst elf. you are the elf idiot you are the elf smell. return to valinor. to our hobbit cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo....ahahahaha ,doriath we will never forgeve you. treenigger rascal FUck but fuck asshole elf stink mirkwood sqhipere shqipare..elf genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead elf..ahahahahahLORIEN WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget first age .doriath we kill the king , return to your precious valinor....hahahahaha idiot sindar and noldor smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE LEMBAS FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. erebor+iron hills+dale+eriador=kill elf...you will firstage/ aulë alive in erebor, aulë making lay of erebor . fast craft aulë erebor. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of aulë ... you are ppoor stink sindar... you live in a tree hahahaha, you live in a cave
aulë alive numbr one #1 in erebor ....fuck imladris,..FUCKk ashol elfs no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur house and contry. aulë aliv and real strong valar kill all the elf farm aminal with craft magic now we the dwarf rule .ape of the zoo beren fukc the great melkor and lay egg this egg hatch and elf wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. erebor greattst countrey

>>46413014
Not just from filling with blood. Even humans can wiggle their ears, it's just not many people know how.

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>>46413588

How must it feel when people from war-torn Syria take a look at your country and decide it's is too much of a shithole?

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>>46413624
best erefu

>>46411775
Don't forget Pelinal.

>>46413620
The name is A.Barbosa you shitskin, and I am whiter than Argentina
>>46413677
It makes me feel glad that it's the Germans paying them to rape their women and not us

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>>46411718
But that's not best elf. This is best elf.

>>46413588
>that picture
>doesn't show the ~3 million in Turkey, conveniently out of shot.

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>>46413743
yes

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>>46413637
No, I'm tired of people who think they know everything about other countries because they saw some .jpg and meme from /int/ and /pol/ derail every thread because they want to show everybody how political incorrect they are, it's like furry or pony fucker who would use any excuse to bring their shit on every fucking thread.

>>46413588
>women in the line
This image is wrong

>>46413760
Is she doing the come at me bro pose to that wyrm? the balls on that girl

>>46412836

I'm british and I'd say your half right. Our rich people are elitists but the lower classes are a bunch of orks with the low forehead and uneducated linguistic skills.

>>46413598
>refugees

Lol from where? They've been arriving here by boat you cuck and then only just making it. You really think they'll manage the ATLANTIC!?

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>>46413530
>>46413567

I like to imagine this is what happens when you get two different nobles from two different races of elf in a room together.

>"SURE IS NICE BEING WHITE IN THE SUN"
>"HOW'S SUCKING HUMAN DICK TREATING YOU THESE DAY?"
>"BETTER THAN LICKING LOLTH'S HAIRY SPIDERGINA!"

Then a wood elf wander in in a wife beater, torn jeans and a trucker's cap and starts bragging about the size of an elk they bagged the other day in the wild hunt.

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>>46413624
You want elves?

>>46413743
Hmm, that is a very good elf.
I'm not sure that she's the best elf though.
Maybe you should post more of her to convince me.

>>46413782
Also British and this. Elite = elves, working class = orcs, middle = humans. Now pass me my hummous and prosecco, there's a shortage don't you know!

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>>46413760
I know a lot about America, kinda hard not to. For example that it's a nigger-infested shithole.

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>>46413782

Orcs are just green elves.

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>>46413796
wood elves a best, bosmer are right in all things

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>>46413784
Your White Guilt will make you sail them to your own shores.

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>>46413798
Yes

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>>46413828
>I know a lot
kek, /int/ and /pol/ memes are not "knowledge" m8

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>>46413798

Here's more elves.

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>>46413872
Real life travel experience and keeping up with events in the world in general is what I consider "knowledge", m80

>>46413859
And make a pretty penny from it too. Enjoy your refugees! Hey it's the slave triangle 2.0! It's cool, you'll get like a hundred years of hard labour out of them before they want to be treated like you.

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>>46413828
fuck you we have Detroit the most beautiful city in the world

>>46413908
Fuck you Detroit is amazing

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What are Orc-Elf relations like in your favorite setting?

Elves physiologically are very anime. Their faces are very heard shaped with eyes much larger and sometimes even tapered.

>>46413936
Sensual.

>>46413904
Then you still have a lot of traveling and reading to do, ladm8

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>>46413936
complex socio-geo-political relations with an emphasis on trade and maintaining sovereign boundaries

>>46413014
Anyone have a translated version of this comic?
http://tsupanix.egloos.com/5944984
I don't know Korean...

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>>46413936
Like this.

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>>46413925
I was only half joking, it's an allright place that really doesnt deserve all the shit people fling at it. Baltimore though......

>>46413936
>Homebrew setting
Actually very good. Male Orcs wander across a large grassy plain most of the year, and while many of the permanent settlements are near a large coniferous forest, the wood is typically sap-filled and too flexible for anything fancy. Elves, on the other hand, live in the biggest deciduous forest in the known world, and are experts at manipulating wood both with magic and an axe. Trades of meat for wood are quite common, although the wood is usually delivered by sea.

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>>46414033
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upFISa4ZptA
Fuck Baltimore

>>46414058
>Trades of meat for wood are quite common, although the wood is usually delivered by sea.

I'm sure this is some sort of euphemism

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>>46414086
>Dirty Ass Baltimore

it funny cause it true

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>>46411982
Daily reminder that the most hardcore badass to ever exist was an elf. Fingolfin; Second King of Noldor, and son of Finwe.

Fingolfin left his people behind to fight the Dark Lord Morgoth ALONE. When all was lost and darkness fell upon the land, he rode out across the plains surronding Angband with such fury that his eyes glowed like stars, and all who witnessed it claimed he was like a hurricane itself rode across the land.

Fingolfin arrived at the gates of Angband and challenged the GOD OF ALL EVIL, by proclaiming: "MORGOTH, I NAME YOU CRAVEN! LORD OF SLAVES!". And Morgoth was fucking scared shitless of this one mortal. Yet he had to show up because otherwise all of his captains would know he was a pussy, so he put on his greatest armour, and took up his mighty hammer, and he came up to accept Fingolfin's challenge.

For Seven Hours, Fingolfin and Morgoth fought. As a mortal, Fingolfin darted out from underneath each of morgoth's strikes as thunder flies from underneath a cloud. Over seven hours, Fingolfin struck Morgoth seven times, inflicting deep and perilous wounds with his sword Ringil, such that would never heal. Yet on the seventh hour of their duel, fingolfin grew weary, and he tripped on a rock. That one momentary weakness was all it took for Morgoth to strike down the elf king.

And here, have a song about their glorious duel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aB6CPyO0Ww

>>46414160
Someone will call him a Mary Sue.

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>>46414160
>tripped on a rock

git gud scrub

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>>46414160
>just another turn in dominions.txt

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>>46414160
>Yet on the seventh hour of their duel, fingolfin grew weary, and he tripped on a rock. That one momentary weakness was all it took for Morgoth to strike down the elf king.

>>46414190
Apparently Mary Sues commit genocide of entire races and get banished from the land of their gods, then tie their own race to a magically binding oath to horribly murder anyone that so much as MAYBE has one of three magical pretty gemstones.

Oh and of course, mary sues actually die from something petty as tripping on a rock.

>>46414207
>it was ponyman thug versus bad Hinnom SC

>>46414033

Do those triangular thingies under neath the ship fall off as the ship grows in the water or do all ships have them underneath htem forever?

>>46414329
they're attached to the ship by those cables you see on her side, theyll take them off when she actually goes out to sea

>>46414207
>not wanting to be a fountain so badass you turn into blood

>>46411685
I think I am the only Dwarf Fortress player who actually likes Elves.
Sure, they are annoying, treehugging, cannibalistic cunts who will attack you so much as you chop one tree too many, but then again the Dwarves more often than not are sadistic, genocidal maniacs who would flood half a fucking continent in magma just to get rid of a couple of elephants.
And, for a bunch of savages carrying exclusively wooden weapons, they can be pretty badass.
Also, there is Cacame, the Elf King of Dwarves and the Dwarfiest Elf to ever exist, so there's that.

>>46413936
Sauce?

>>46414405
I recall that there was an elf in the Silmarilion who came to middle earth and discovered dwarves. So he decided that "Dwarf Fortresses are awesome, I need to make one of my own!". He then proceeded to bugger off from all of the rest of the royalty and just make his own damn dwarf fortress in the middle of nowhere, and even hired a bunch of dwarves to help him make it.

Still, Cacame and Finarfin are awesome. We need more Dwarf Cosplaying elves in this thread.

>>46414554
I think he was called dark elf and he discovered black alloy as good as mithril.

>>46413120
>10 seconds in
>Completely misses the point of Gandhi's quote
[Remove]

>>46414462
http://i.imgur.com/RLYUchIh.jpg

>>46414462
The incase thread on /aco/. I just posted it.

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I like this one, although in PF it would most likely be a half-elf.

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>>46412836
I usually write them as french.

>>46414870
are half elf ears as sensitive as full elf ears?

>>46412949
I like that they actually changed up their silhouettes in DA:2. You can actually tell a human and elf apart at a distance.

But of course all the kiddo's who's first introduction to elves was Orlando Bloom want their humans with pointed ears.

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Need more pictures

>>46411842
i feel like i recognize this art style from something... lewder

>>46414958

You and me both bro.

>>46413904
Murica is more than the one or two states you barely explored, eurotrash.

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>>46414958
I could post some elves.

Heroes of Might & Magic 5 had some top tier Elf and Dark Elf design.
Why did it have to shit in 6 and 7?

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>>46415055
Please, I can't wait any longer...

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>>46415223
Oh, you want some lewd animu pictures? Nah, fuck that shit. Elves are better than that.

Just open some booru and get over it already.

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>>46415055
Posting more of Bestelf

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>>46415265

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>>46415280

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>>46415259
All sorts, really. Could use more warrior types.

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>>46415310

I bestow upon thee a pinterest of elven shit i've collected.

http://pin.it/QPHQkD4

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>>46415331

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>>46415352

>>46414940

Maybe, it is worth doing a comprehensive study on the issue.

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>>46415365

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>>46415329
Alright.

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>>46415388

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>>46415415

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Less male elfs please

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>>46415502
Nope.

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>>46415502
No

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>>46415568

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>>46415565
Already got posted >>46412073

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>>46415595

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>>46415607

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>>46415620

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>>46415638
>white Drizzt

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>>46415654

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>>46415701
I know it's off-topic, but it physically pains me to be aware of the volume of wasted potential Dragon Age and Mass Effect have.

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>>46415759

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>>46415784

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>>46415759
That's video games for you, it's hard to have any depth when you need to rewrite your setting for every new 30 hour long game

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>>46415804

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>>46415823

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>>46415817
This is trully the plight of nerds. You have to either endure possibility of shit GMs/players and lack of spectacle, or play video games with all their numerous flaws.

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>>46411739
Nope, we need pics. Pics of elves.

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>>46415930

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>>46415674
Oh baby

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>>46415958

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>>46415930
I think game devs had it right with games like NWN and BG2 where you could play in a well developed setting with your buddies

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>>46415977

>>46412094
>Would your elf wife/gf find it arousing when you rub her ear?

Real women do in the right sexual context, anonymous.

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>>46415995

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>>46415959
The eternal question
http://strawpoll.me/7260153

>>46413796
http://pastebin.com/rvexjd7r something I wrote a long long time ago

>>46416090
>why not both.jpg

>>46415862
Why would elves wear high heels?

>>46416180
For stealth because they force them to walk on their tiptoes

>>46416180
To appear even taller and intimidate lesser races

Why are Archers the stereotypical elf class? Of all the things they can learn in their longevity, one would assume master swordsmen or wizards would be far more commonplace.

>>46412981
She occasionally does do lovey-dovey stuff. Amusingly, this isn't fappable either - it's too cute.

>Elf waifu has psoriasis on her ears
>They're all gross and peeling and shit
>She wants you to rub them like she sees other couples do

>>46416245
And master archer not? Not everyone can be good at magic and some may just like to kill things from a safe distance.

>>46413623
Me either, I'm not a nigger or a meth head.

>>46416245
Its safer than either. Elves live a very long time, but don't reproduce often.

Archery is extremely effective, especially combined with their crafting and natural dexterity. Keeps the enemies at bay while murdering them with sharp sticks flying through the air.

Wizardry can backfire horribly, even if you're really good. Swordsmanship is dangerous as well, just in a much more mundane way.

>>46416245
>master swordsmen
It's much harder to survive for long when you are fighting in the front lines

>>46416272
>not applying soothing lotion to your elf waifu's chafed ears

It's like you feel no love.

>>46416245
Elves are trained in archery and swordwork, High Elves all have a basis in magic.

>>46413760
Most of the time furry/pony fucks don't "try" to do anything. They're just so interested in their fandom shit that it infects literally everything they ever talk about. Kinda like a weeb bringing animu shit into /tg/, or a gamer bringing their favorite vidya, or all the lonely virgins of 4chan trying to turn the whole site pink.

>>46413796
>implying the Drow didn't already slaughter the others
>implying I'm an oldfag who still believes all the niggerelves are evil as fuck
>implying Drow aren't all CG Drizzt wannabes now

>>46416308
Sounds reasonable. Extending the livelihood of their race by mastering a war art you don't need to be physically engaged in to get better at. I assume you can get way better with ranged weapons on a target vs melee weapons on a dummy. Plus, hunting in woodland settings.

>>46416434
Pretty much.

Archery is incredibly powerful in the traditional Elven homelands too. Getting into melee with someone through the underbrush, up trees, or whatever might actually be impossible. But shooting at someone? Easy.

Let's not get started on the tactical possibilities of bows in woods.

Someone give me some wood elf girls.

>>46416013
It's also a big erogenous zone for men too as it turns out. The right ear more than the left ear. Having a girl fondle your loins while she sucks on your ear is maddening.

>>46416490
>Having a girl fondle your loins while she sucks on your ear is maddening
Sounds gay

>>46416488
Sorry, thread reached image limit

>>46416527
>Nigga you gay.jpg

>>46416395
>weeb
>animu shit
You're on 4chan, deal with it faggot.

>>46416742
I honestly don't give a fuck about weeb or animu shit being in my /tg/ or on 4chan. Half of it is because I'm a casual weeb myself, and I like a large portion of animu shit. Though everything is shit when a stupid monkey is flinging it around, and about 90% of animu shit is so shit my brain cells commit suicide just thinking about it. I wasn't bitching about animu shit, just making a statement using the language you faggots would best understand.

>>46416304
>I'm not a nigger or a meth head.

Interesting you didn't phrase that as "neither a nigger nor a meth head" and thus left open THE TRUTH! That you're a meth nigger!

>>46416245

Specifically, Aragorn was the king of the Duneduin, AKA "The Rangers of the North", and they were a dwindling group of elves who lived wildly off the land and had great archery, hunting and tracking skills.

Back in "Race as Class" days, Elves were thus effectively all rangers because rangers didn't yet exist, then when races and classes were seperated but before multiclassing was tentatively introduced in AD&D 2e "Ranger" was made one of the main character classes and the key "archer" class, and as elves got a racial penalty to CON and a bonus to DEX they further synergised both the ranger and elves.

>>46414260
gems that shine with the LIGHT OF THE HOLY TWIN TREES OF THE REALM OF THE GODS, LONG SINCE PERISHED AND UTTERLY IRREPLACEABLE, THE LAST REMAINING TRACE OF A BRILLIANCE MORE SPECTACULAR THAN ANY MUNDANE SUN AND THE MARKS OF THE COMING GOLDEN AGE OF ARDA AFTER MORGOTHS FINAL DEFEAT. so yeah i can kinda see where he was maybe going with that.

>>46416527
You think everything is gay. Up to and including consensual sex in the missionary position for the purpose of reproduction.

>>46416180
You can't ride high horses in the treetops, anon.

>>46417578
Not unless they have special upside down horses who swing from tree to tree using special hook hooves protruding from the ends of their long and lanky legs.

>>46416964
Wtf, dunedain were humans

>>46417757
Elves ride giant spidermonkeys now in my headcannon

>>46412981
it doesn't help that this one ends with full on snuff

Alright guys, what if my knife-ears are actually humans that bound their souls to a sort of mass-phylactery, swearing themselves to a hundred years of war in exchange for life unaging? They were given lean, muscular bodies that wasted slowly with the effects of stretching a human lifespan over the centuries. They're better at magic purely because they're older, same with crafts and arts. Someone who's been sculpting for two hundred years will be far more technically advanced than any human.

>>46416964
>a dwindling group of elves
You are so fucking wrong it's not even funny. The Dunedain were men of Numenorean blood, and more specifically descendants of those Numenoreans who ruled and lived in the northern kingdoms.

>multiclassing was tentatively introduced in AD&D 2e
Wrong. AD&D 1e is the edition. Also, no rules in the phb denote Ranger as "the archer" archetype. Dexterity is not even a stat requirement, whereas Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Constitution are.
Even in UA, where there is a list of required weapon choices (that was probably homeruled out of a lot of games), there is no change to the stat requirements. Hell even in Method V for generation of your Ranger's stat line, Dex is only higher than 2 other stats: Charisma and Comeliness.

Additionally, with a starting HP value of possibly 24, at level 1 mind you, you're far more suited to soaking up damage and dealing it out in frontline melee with your necessarily more than above average strength.

You have all this versatility as a ranger so that you can fill more than one niche. Just going by useful stats, Fighters can be just as good ranged fingers as rangers. Additionally, Thieves and Assassin's do well as ranged fighters, given that Dexterity is a strong choice for any of their ilk. Finally, Illusionists aren't too bad either, given that they have a Dex requirement as well.

Tl;dr, Dunedain are men, not elves. Rangers, introduced in 1e AD&D were not the end-all-be-all of ranged warfare.

>>46411685
Speaking of Elves, do any other anons feel that modern fantasy kind of ruined Elves? I mean these days most Elves can be explained as "They are like humans, only better" or "the perfect race superior than others". That just ruins it. I like it when Elves, or any other fantasy race, are shown to have their own unique culture and society and certainly not game breakingly overpowered and perfect compared to the other races.

Like for example, I loved the Elves in Artemis Fowl series, if any of you guys ever read those books. There are fat elves, smelly elves, some curse a lot, and etc. They are unique here instead of being the all soo perfect race or better humans.

>>46420119
>There are fat elves, smelly elves, some curse a lot, and etc
From what you described these elves are faeries or fae.

>>46420184
Well in the series Elves are one of Fae races. The other Fae races are centaurs, goblins, dwarfs, pixies, and etc. I like this series because it gives a different look to the Elves and Dwarfs compared to the usual Tolkien copypasta

Story time with the pointy-ears (just wanted to post this before thread is kill)

>be me, a soldier of the government forces
>the government is in war with a new found race of elves existed in a continent we all thought is lifeless, empty and not worth colonizing
>said elves try to expand their "kingdom" as their land is already getting drained, which probably explains why said continent seemed empty and not worth colonizing
>they decide to declare war on us saying their magical powers are superior, yet we had great military firepower; guns, tanks, aircraft, bombers, battleships, etc.
>war is starting to get long and drawn out
>both sides losing lives, neither side gaining any ground or any leverage at all
>I was around my detachment and decided to scout around
>was considerably far from forward operating base when stumble upon an elf chick
>I drew my light machine gun at her but did not pull the trigger as she never got into a battle stance
>we both gawked at each other for some time
>i kept my weapon pointed at her but she just looked at me
>pointed weapon down and asked her wtf she wanted
>she said she does not like the war and thinks its unnecessary and that her race are the ones who'll end up losing
>me doubtful she could be trying to trick me
>but I saw in her eyes she looked like she was not lying
>she said she's both an "Arch-Mage" and a noble woman who's the next possible successor to the kingdom's throne
>she also said she's got alot of people both civilian and military alike with her
>i see a crap ton of elves including her officers and advisers
>they want to go to where my forward operating base was to defect and help out the government forces put an end to the wasteful war
>me and the highborn elf lady and her entourage and other civilian subjects head back to the forward operating base I was stationed
(to be continued)

Continued from
>>46421258
>they surrender and explain to the commanding officers they can help put an end to the war as they have knowledge in the magics and how to penetrate magical elven defenses
>news spreads of elven defection
>the highborn elf lady I met who's a grand-wizard and possible successor to her former kingdom's throne is named "Solana Petren"
>she is now the new grand-wizard of the government forces who'll help advice magical matters and how to help fight against the renegade elf kingdom
>months pass and we the government forces are starting to win this war as more ground on the elven continent is gained
>finally just before December; Christmas month, the battle for the elven capital is won and Solana Petren herself executes the king and queen elf
>and her advisers and closest army commanders execute the former king and queen's advisers and commanders
>the elven continent is now ruled by new democratic government run by new democratic elven-human government
>infrastructure has been restored and financial issues also restored after the war
>many other soldiers including myself are now permanently assigned and stationed at the reformed elven capital
>all looks well as the human race now seemingly enjoys new elf friends and neighbors.
>almost a year has passed as i continue living in the elven capital of the recently founded elven goverment and suddenly one of my commanders call me and tell me to go to her office and tells me its something special for me
>I go with her and she tells me the new ruler of the elven government; Solana Petren, the highborn elf babe that i met almost a year
>my commander tells me High Lady Solana Petren requests that i now personally live with her and serve as one of her advisers or commanders
>I'am confused as to why she wants me in her castle but i do so none the less

Continued
>>46421292
>I arrive at the castle where the newly found elven government is resided and was told by some guards to come with them to be escorted to Solana Petren and I arrive at her personal chambers
>I'am alone now with her and i ask her why she needs me
>she says: "To thank you Private Abernathy. Believe it or not, if it weren't for you not immediately pulling the trigger of your weapon on me, I would not be alive as of now and things would've been different and the war would have lasted much longer as more live lost."
>she pauses and continues: "You see I figured… I should thank you. Will you, be my betrothed?"
>I was shocked as to why and ask her why me and why not someone else worthy for her as i was just a private
>she explains: "I really have no good explanation asides from the fact that you were willing to listen to me and not immediately fire upon me. If it were another soldier who I encountered Mr. Abernathy, I would've been killed off and my subjects who accompanied me back then be doomed. Please consider this Mr. Abernathy, be with me and you can serve as one of my closest adviser… Probably in human cultures and traditions for my citizens who're still trying to accept our new found harmony between our species."
>I did not know what else to think of, i would say no but as I thought back, my previous life before I joined the military was shit
>Had to work terrible odd-jobs and lived in a shitty apartment and had horrible parents who never loved me and my siblings who always loved and cared for me went missing and most of my education I received came from military school when I enlisted
>and now here I'am being offered to live with and be married to an elven highlord lady
>and she's right, if it weren't for me not pulling the trigger on her immediately, there'd probably still be war going on, and it was then I finally decided
>"Yes Lady Solana Petren… YES I ACCEPT YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE."
(to be continued)

Continued
>>46421316
>I did not know what came over me as I started crying and bawling, it was as if I finally felt fulfilled, accepted and even loved for once
>yes when I was serving the military I have made friends and many other buddies, but alot of them had already died from previous conflicts which made me feel bad
>and now here I'am, bawling and crying as I finally felt somehow happy and joyful as Solana Petren tightly hugged me and comforted me as she softly said to me
>"Shhhh, its OK, calm down and tell me whats the matter Mr. Abernathy."
>I told her as I begun to calm down and wipe my tears: "Its just… For once I finally felt loved and accepted. Sure I had friends in the military; but many of them have died and those who're still alive… I probably will never see them again. And to make myself even more depressed, I never had a happy and fulfilling childhood. My parents never loved me, my siblings; the only ones in my family who cared for me and help me grow up and attend school have gone missing when I was sixteen, and from then on I had to do labor as I had no family. Until I decided to enlist in the military and the rest is history… I dont what to say about you wanting me- it- … It's just how am I worthy of you-"
>she sweetly told me: "Well if you really feel that way, then leave it all behind. What matters is what you've done. Again, if it weren't for you; we'd all still be suffering from the effects of war…"
>she held to me and I could not help myself but hug and hold her back as we stood with each other's embrace for awhile
>she then positioned my face towards her and faced me directly and suddenly kissed me to which I also kissed back
>after what felt like hours of us just kissing each other, we pulled back from each other and we even chuckled at one another as I told her in a soft and sweet manner
>"Hehhehe. OK your 'majesty' before we can go any further I think we should… Ya know? Get to know each other even more?"

>>46421258
>>they decide to declare war on us saying their magical powers are superior, yet we had great military firepower; guns, tanks, aircraft, bombers, battleships, etc.
It's already shit, stop bothering.

Continued
>>46421346
>she softly chuckled laughed back: "Hehehe of course my my betrothed."
>several months later
>several months has passed and here I'am wearing fine elven made clothes, walking in the halls of the castle as the servants and guards acknowledged my presence as I could very well get used to being addressed as High Lord and or Grand Adviser for Solana Petren
>it's been about two months after Me and ruling High Lady Solana Petren have been married as I have also been honorably discharged from my military career, but I still contribute to my wife's nation by helping to train the new defenders and soldiers of this nation and being one of her advisers in human culture aswell
>after a day of doing typical politician duties I finally arrive at our chambers to see Solana in her resting gown with her smiling back at me
>we hug each other as also smoothly rub her pregnant womb which carried our soon to be wonderfully beautiful half elf-half human hybrid child
>as a matter of fact me and Solana Petren may be the first couple to bare such half breed offspring
>she playfully asks me: "So its only six in the evening and we have alot of time together as of now. Care to play around?"
>I respond in a sultry manner: "Why yes my high lady."
>she responds: "Just be easy my love, you know? For the child." she said as she rubbed her stomach
>and that there is the story of my life; me, Jake Abernathy. Former military soldier, now a grand adviser and husband of High Lady Solana Petren. The elven nation now under democratic government rule under both man and elf is doing pretty well and me and my wife are eager for our soon to come child, or children.

The End

So your thoughts?

>>46420119
Elves mythologically were similar to humans but they were from an otherworld and had closer relations with gods, giants, and spirits. Elves often were the lovers or spouses of the divine, or were semi-divine themselves.

The key i've found is not to make their inherent gifts make them better, but different.

>>46416262
Any...examples?

>>46413568

Innistrad, Tarkir, Theros, and Kamigawa had no elves. I'm sure there are more.

>>46414906
I hate this guy's style but I love this concept.

>Elves in my setting
>Baroque era
>Live only 200-300 years
>Breed slow by themselves
>Utterly confused by humans who fall within the acceptable/exotic range of the uncanny valley for them
>When elves and humans coalesce in a single kingdom, the elves tend to get replaced by their half-elf children within a generation or two due to sneaky race mixing
>Half-elves can breed more half-elves (same with half-orcs)
>A whole elf religion is dedicated to trying to keep themselves from going extinct due to interbreeding
>The elves ancient enemy, the Orcs have been running a secret campaign to promote elf-human relations as they prefer them to the full bloods

>>46413598
At this point it doesn't matter. Sweden has effectively acquired a serious bacterial infection and has decided that in lieu of antibiotics it will wash it's hands more than it has in the past. There are enough immigrants there to destroy the existing populace as it is if the situation just maintains itself.

>>46421372
Gate/10

>>46421316
>>46421372
Seems a bit too good to be true, why would that highborn elf wana marry the guy just because he was the first human not to pull the trigger on her.

I like me some good ol' lowly human being hitched by beautiful and graceful highborn elf, but this just seems to good to be true.

I fear she's gonna eat Jake Abernathy once after she gives birth their baby, according to some legends involving elves.

What if humans are just a type of elf that fucked up and all the other elves see humans as "original species do not steal"

>>46421676
>/pol/ writes generic fantasy setting

>>46421676
>implying cute and wonderful half-breed half-human half-elf offspring is a bad thing

>>46421676
"DAMN BRETONS STEALIN' OUR JEEERBS! THEY TAKIN' OUR JERBS! OUR JOBS!"

>>46420119

Eh, Tolkien made Elves pretty damn "like humans but better". I think it was part of his overall anti-modernist outlook - anything that had to do with progress and industry tended to be bad, anythng that went with tradition and simple life was good.

>>46421962
He didn't have game balance in mind and made them more divine. Of course they were better just like angels tend to be better.

>>46421893
Indeed, wish there were more stories that are happily accepting of human-elf relations that also advocate for half human-half elf kids and pretty much shows unity is the way to go.

>>46421258
>>46421292
>>46421316
>>46421346
>>46421372
Like this anon, he has the right idea; story where humans and elves are at war. But one of the elves who's a highborn who'll possibly inherit the throne wants to work with humans to stop the war, is in favor of peace with humans, falls in love with the human soldier who helped her.

And promotes the message of kickass democratic government run by elf and human alike.

>>46416111
I wish you hadn't stopped writefagging, God Emps.