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How does one prove someone is a witch?

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Thread replies: 143
Thread images: 20

How does one prove someone is a witch?
>>
>>46292237
Does the witch in question weigh as much as a duck?
>>
Ask nicely, witches cannot lie.

Or was it they cannot lie in the biblical sense, lest they lose their power?
>>
>>46292237
>>46292252
Did she turn you into a newt?
>>
>>46292237
Burn her
>>
Duck/wood/float, etc
Or you could kill them, and if they were honest, pious souls, they would go to Heaven.
>>
>>46292266
Probably the latter, and that's why they look so horrible, its to make sure they stay that way.
>>
In Africa?

1. Did something bad happen?
2. ITS A WIIIITCH
3. Burn alive and repeat
>>
>>46292294
>A setting revolving around finding and fucking the witches into submission
My magical realm can't get enough
>>
>>46292237
Who cares, I just want to burn a bit... Err, a WITCH!
>>
>>46292325
>The Last Bitchhunter
>>
Make them hold a hot poker. If their hand is horribly burnt, they are innocent. If their hand is fine, WITCH

Tie them up and throw them in a pond. An innocent will sink but a witch will float.

Etc.
>>
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You gotta feel them up to find their witchmark.
>>
>>46292237
You follow the manual.
>>
>>46292237
Tie up the alleged witch and throw her in a river. If floats, she's a witch. If she sinks/drowns, she wasn't a witch.
>>
Torture a confession out of them, or just get the mob riled up enough and nobody will ask for proof for what everyone already knows.
>>
>>46292325
Imagine, witches who lose their powers along with their virginity
>>
>>46292399
#witchlivesmatter
>>
How can you prove someone is not a witch?
>>
>>46292374
This was secretly the reason I bought a ds as a kid but I could never find the name of the game once I found one. Thank you.

Oh and to answer OP, all witches have a nose wart. If they don't, give it time. They're harmless til they get the wart.
>>
>>46292519
Why would you want to defend a potential witch?
>>
>>46292438
All witches are young cute witches like Kiki.
>>
In our games, anyone who wears a fedora is a witch. And all witches wear fedoras.
>>
>>46292519
See
>>46292398
>>
>>46292237
You build a bridge out of her!
>>
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>prove
?
>>
>>46292572
2cute4me
>>
>>46292556
Can you prove you aren't a witch?
>>
>>46292272
I got better.
>>
>>46292665
This. Allowing them to try proving their innocence is just opening the door for them to use honeyed words to poison and corrupt your very soul.
>>
>>46292237
You devise a test with two possible outcomes: the victim dies or is proven a witch and will be killed.
>>
>>46293322
I see someone whispering into your ear.
>>
>>46292237
are they a woman? if yes, Witch.
>>
>>46292237
Lrn2cartesian

Witches ain't real bro. Those are just demonically themed female wizards.
>>
>>46292237

Tickle them. Witches aren't ticklish.

Also, fake tickle when you're just outside their line of sight. Do this to spot the fakers, who are obviously witches.

It could also be lepers, but it doesn't hurt to add those to the list as well.
>>
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>>46292381
>At the time of the writing of The Malleus Maleficarum, there were many voices within the Christian community (scholars and theologians) who doubted the existence of witches and largely regarded such belief as mere superstition. The authors of the Malleus addressed those voices in no uncertain terms, stating: “Whether the Belief that there are such Beings as Witches is so Essential a Part of the Catholic Faith that Obstinacy to maintain the Opposite Opinion manifestly savours of Heresy.”

Robespierre was right.
>>
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>>46294140
>Witches aren't ticklish.

Fugg D: I might be a witch
Or a leper?

How do I know which is witch?
>>
Reminder that accusing someone of being a witch would get you executed due to the fact that believing in Witches was considered Heresy by the Inquisition.
>>
>>46294231
>literally the first page of the post of The Malleus Maleficarum posted above
>>
Are witches pretty ladies or ugly hags?
>>
>>46294255
Ugly ladies and pretty hags
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>>46294255
Pretty ladies of course.
>>
>>46294191

Well, for the sake of brevity we're just lumping lepers and witches into the same group.

However, for a more extensive test, I'd say that if you can't pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time, you're a witch.
>>
>>46294421
What if I can rub my head and pat my tummy?

What if I can rub both of my knees, my elbows, my tummy, and pat my head while standing on foot and reciting the entirety of the bible simultaneously?

What if I can breathe fire?
>>
>>46294248
That states the exact opposite.
>>
>>46294176
Good thing the author wasn't the Pope.
>>
>>46294548

Sorry, gotta be patting the head and rubbing the tummy. If you aren't ticklish, and you can't do that, then legally you're a witch (or leper, which is a distinct classification but functionally the same thing).

Look, we're leaving some outs here, and we know there's some people that this is going to be unfair to, but we've got to keep the system inflexible or else any old witch can just saunter on through the system unchecked. And at that point, what's the deal with even having an Inquisition?
>>
>>46294552
Yes, exactly...

>>46294582
I have the slight feeling this is b8.
>>
Hire a proper fucking mage and get them to investigate.

Don't you inbred castle hicks have court wizards?

How do you prevent killing innocents?
>>
>>46294799
>implying mages aren't witches

That's heresy anon.
>>
>>46292399
That shit's actually pretty accurate

Hundreds of innocent people put to death for more or less no reason.

Feels bad, man.
>>
>>46294091
I saw a demon telling you to respond with that.
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>>46292237
Clearly you have no respect for the accepted practise of witch-huntery
>Step 1 - Burn them all, God will recognise his own.
Quietly noting the absence of a second step, this concludes our rigorous single-step programme.
>>
>>46294638
Well nigga damn.

Never knew I was a witch.

Does having a penis preclude the being a witch, thing?
>>
>>46294906

Oh, you got a dick? Well that's fine, then. Everyone knows everything a man does is just good 'ol fashioned spiritualism and sanctioned exploration into the occult. It's only when those uppity women get into it that they start getting themselves some subversive ideas, and we can't be having none of that.
>>
>>46294906
Having performed exhaustive research in the field of Little Witch Academia ero-manga, it is my professional opinion that witches can indeed have penises.
>>
>>46294652
You're stating the actions of a mad murderer are just because of beliefs that were only held for a hundred years after the penning of that book.
>>
>>46294986
Dieu est mort. :^)

Seriously, he gets a pretty shitty wrap, but the established French autocracy was undeniably tyrannical. Besides, he even denounced the radical members of the jacobite movement, and was not an anti-theist. It was pretty much a case of crushing the resistance of the revolutionary government, or allowing the government to crumble, and he chose the former.
>>
Burn them.

Either they die and are proven innocent or they survive and you get to cut their head off.
>>
>>46295257
Only he took things too far and killed too many people who didn't deserve it.
>>
>>46295662
Just like the inquisition. :^)

I really don't want to get into this desu.
>>
>>46294853
Well my kid saw you doing magic and children cannot lie.
>>
>>46292237
Chain metal weights all over their body and throw them in the lake. If they float or survive, they must be a witch. Then you take them to the stake and burn them.
>>
>>46292438
assuming wizards are the male equivalent of witches it all checks out
>men become wizards when they remain virgins until 30; lose their powers if they have sex
>therefore, screwing a witch will make them lose their powers
>>
>>46295920
>tee hee just like those silly characters from a wargame

Only it was real life. You're glorifying a man who drove France into a reign of terror that ended with the deaths of more than 20,000 people because you're a politically inept moron.

He deserves his reputation, and he deserved his death. If you loved him so much kid, stick your head into a guillotine and stop falling for dank /his/ memes.
>>
>>46294176
That's some fucking Imperium of Man propaganda shit
>>
Players in my campaign turned a woman in as a witch. Witch hunter tied her (and all of them) to wooden stake(s), whipped everyone, blessed the local pond, and had them dropped face-first into the lake. If they sank below the surface they were innocent. Woman floated and was burned.
>>
>>46296131
>>tee hee just like those silly characters from a wargame
>what is a strawman

In what fucking universe would you think that I wasn't talking about the Catholic Inquisition? I'm not fucking glorifying the man either.

>You're glorifying a man who drove France into a reign of terror

You mean the corrupt king and the aristocracy that would rather dine in wealth than serve the common good? Who executed and imprisoned political dissidents, and the same regime who a hundred years earlier burned witches at the stake? Please, do cry about how your precious reactionary ideals will never have relevance again after your idol, the king who betrayed his own country and caused the unstable political situation to escalate into the reign of terror.
>>
>>46292237
Fire an M60 at them out of a helicopter.

Anyone who runs is a witch. Anyone who stands is a well-disciplined witch.
>>
>>81144004
Guys a wan to burn them, but they are such a cuties.
>>
>>46294548
>What if I can breathe fire?
Well then i'd consider to see a doc.
Or start selling kickass s'mores on the street
>>
>>46296361
>the inquisition
Only I'm not going to defend the actual inquisition either. They did what they did and deserve what they deserve.

>I'm not glorifying him
>I'm just slobbering over his cock and blaming his crimes on other people

Kay kid. That's fine. It's not like he literally killed a whole bunch of people because they where his political rivals or anything and he wanted his party to have more power. Or that he argued that you needed terror for his revolutionary government.

Protip senpai. Terror should have no place in any government, or a revolution.
>>
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>>46292237
You weigh her at a weighing station which has been officially sanctioned by the emperor for that purpose, obviously.
>>
>>46296264
Essentially the Church believed that demons needed express permission from god to posses an individual, and otherwise could not harm the individual, due to the Church agreeing with Aristotle that physical ailments come from the physical world. Thus, they believed demons used witches as a mediator to inflict curses/diseases upon individuals.

>>46296659
I should say I am contesting the fact that he was purposefully a power hungry tyrant. He is easily a tyrant, but I do not believe he was being purposefully destroying France for his own personal gain, or that the revolution itself didn't have some good in it. The last post was under the assumption that you must have been a Reactionary to make that ridiculous claim that I was talking about 40k, and the "ur a silly kid" comments.

Yes, the original post I made was a meme.
>>
>>46296904
>fat chicks are to be judged, found guilty and disposed of
Those medieval people might not have been very educated, but they had couple right ideas.
>>
>>46294255
I love the notion of witches being pretty young maidens who give up their powers when it's time to become women, and the ugly hags are basically womanchildren
>>
>>46296111
What if a witch and a wizard fuck?
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>>46297053
they both lose their powers anon
>>
>>46297053
The universe explodes.
>>
>>46297053
One absorbs the virginity and powers of the other who is left an empty shell.
>>
>>46292237
bucket of water
>>
>>46292237
Throw salt at her.
If she melts and or shoots out a spike from her vagina, she's a witch.

Also if she carries a house on her back, witch.
>>
>>46292237
cast detect magic
>>
>nobles attempt to rid the land of witches by sending charming young men to seduce them
>>
>>46294176
>"I'm right and anyone who says otherwise is a heretic"

Sounds more like a Protestant, senpai.
>>
>>46301108
Protestants gonna prot

Now back to our regularly scheduled broadcast

>at 11 - The Flinstones, an accurate depiction of the world until those fucking sinners caused the flood
>at 11:30 - 5 amazing ways to keep your teen from touching his sinful area
>at 12 - The Evils of Fun: A true story
>>
>>46294582
PAPISTS GET OUT REEEEEEEE
>>
not sure if this was intended to be this kind of thread, or if it was just the topic was bound to become this within seconds
>>
>>46292237
Put her in a bag, throw her in the harbor. If she floats, she's a witch.
>>
>>46292325
Literally the Witcher half the time
>>
I can see witches being extremely wary about love potions and trying to take out rivals by making them smitten with someone
>>
>>46305017
No, the bitcher is mostly about finding his daughteru, except for the first 2 books and the first two gaems. But there only because: in the first two books ciri wasn't a thing and in the first two gaems he did not really remember shit
>>
>>46292237
Burn them:

-if they scream and die it means they weren't protected by god for being innocents
-if they scream and survive it means they weren't protected by god but used witchcraft
-if they don't scream and die it means god protected them a brought them in a better place
-if they don't scream and don't die it means they were protected by god, or by witchcraft, repeat and or use another method until they finally die
>>
>>46292237

Cut her head off. If she survives she's a witch and needs to be burned.
>>
>>46305816
>-if they don't scream and don't die it means they were protected by god
>repeat
You would dare go against God?
You would dare test him?

Not even Jesus forced his father to save him.
>>
>>46305856
This isn't about God, it's about burning women. We simply acknowledge that God has the ability to step in, should he see reason to. So far he has not.
>>
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>>46292237
>How does one prove someone is a witch?
SMALL
BOMBS
>>
>>46297439
Sounds like marriage.
>>
>>46292325
There's a manga with a plot line that was similar to this before it went off the deep end.
>>
>>46296111
Depends on lore. Medieval european lore has witches get their power by being the Devil's bitches.
>>
>>46296361
>361▶>>46296659
>>>46296131
Please stop posting. The king and the government didn't 'execute and imprison political dissidents'. They were corrupt and incompetent but not hardliners like the revolutionaries.

The whole fucking revolution happened because the government and king were too spineless and powerless to do anything about the economic woes. Famine at the same time didn't help. Literally no-one got executed by the king.

Also witch-burnings? They happened, but not by the Inquisition. It's another shitty myth.
>>
>>46296954
Yeah except the king wasn't. You fell for propaganda from over 200 years ago. He was a spineless incompetent but not a tyrant. The revolution in fact would never have happened if he'd been a tyrant because then it would have been suppressed instead of allowed to spread.
>>
>>46306747
Yes, because they falisified all the chruch documents that state they burned and executed witches and heretics right?
>>
>>46294176
>tfw i live in a third world chatolic country
>sick old guy got killed last year by a dumbass superstitious idiot cause he taught he was a "warlock"
>>
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>>46292237
>How does one prove someone is a witch?
Interrogate the suspect and ask if she's a witch:

1. If you get an affirmative reply, she confessed, witch detected.
2. If you get a negative reply, she is lying, witch detected.
3. If you get no reply, she is delaying justice, witch detected.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>46292237
Cast Detect Magic
>>
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>>46292237
Throw the suspected witch of a cliff
If she dies she's either not a witch or a dead witch, either way your job is done
If she flies away she's definitely a witch, slay her ASAP
>>
>>46292237
hang them and toss them in a river to see if they float.
>>
>>46292374
Holy shit anon, thank you for reminding me that exists
>>
>>46306798
Witches were killed by being hung by the neck until dead.

Burning at the stake was for heretics who did not recant their faith and probably some forms of treason.
>>
>>46305907
I watched most of that anime and I honestly still don't understand the premise
Like, Beatrice is a witch, but only if people believe she's a witch, so she does witch-things with her witch powers to get people to BELIEVE she's a witch, even though she's already doing witchy things with the witchy powers she doesn't have yet?

And the MC has to prove that she's not using witchy powers even though she is? or that she MIGHT not be using witchy powers?

bomb ass OP, though
>>
>>46308226
>anime
Read the VN.
It's way more complicated, and the main point is that the actual events of what happened on the island are unknown, and so the truth gets contested. It's meta as shit, and I can't say anymore unless I spoil you. Just read it, it has a great translation by WitchHunt group.
In general, Battler is trying to prove that the events that happened on the island are not necessarily a work of magic, and therefore, AREN'T work of magic, while Beato tries to disprove any "realistic" ways of the events on the island unfolding, well, at least in the first four episodes - things change later on. It's not about what others think, it's what about Battler thinks.
Seriously, just read it.
>>
>>46308226
One thing I can tell you, however - remember, Beato's narration is unreliable as shit. Anything that doesn't happen directly before Battler, both on the island and in the metaworld is not necessarily true. The only real truth that exists in the first four episodes has a color of red.
>>
>>46292237
Seriously?
No one?
Ok, I do it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g
>>
>>46292237
>be under 16
>get caught doing some hocus pocus
>start accusing people willy nilly for attention
>if they aren't rich/important/obedient enough to dodge your attention, they're a witch.
simple stuff.
>>
>>46292351
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLa_beHZfws
>>
>>46311307
>Seriously? No one?
>literally three of the first five replies are all references to that
>viking_of_disappointment.jpg
>>
>>46311671
My bad.
>>
>>46306156
I am both intrued and horrified, tell me more.
>>
>>46292237
Splash some holy water on suspected witch.

If they're visibly bothered by it, they're a witch. Witch fears holy water for it can detect witches, so holy water will hurt them.

And that's how you prove that someone is a witch.
>>
>>46314382
Make them wear white blouses before they do it. White is the color of truth.
>>
>>46314462
I thought it was the color of death?
>>
>>46316937
Don't worry about the details.
>>
>>46292237
You dont have to....

BURN THEM ANYWAY!!!!!
>>
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>>46294954
>Little Witch Academia ero-manga
>>
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>>46318995
I really have no idea, Anon. The disgusting fantasies of some of the people on this site are truly horrifying.
Here, have some cute, perfectly SFW art of the cutest witch.
>>
>>46319914
>cutest witch
>Lotte
Excellent taste. Her singing in the second one...

Also that's cropped porn isn't it
>>
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>>46320735
>Excellent taste.
Of course.
>Also that's cropped porn isn't it
Well, technically, that page is safe for work. The one AFTER it...
>>
>>46320885
I'm not ok with this
>>
>>46318995
That's fucking gross. I'm not even a purityfag but LWA is too...respectable for such things.

I'd feel like my childhood was being raped despite me being a grown man.
>>
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>>46321098
Yeah, I understand. I was where you were at first. But really, it is cute, even if it's also (in the same work) very, very lewd. That's how they got me in the first place, I guess. Part of it was also probably the "imp of the perverse," as Poe put it. He was talking about the mysterious urges people get sometimes to do things like throw yourself off cliffs when you find yourself near the edge, not ero-mangas about cute witches, but I think it also applies. Don't you think?
It's weird to think of myself as being too far gone already but that's the feeling I'm getting here.
>>46321099
I feel like some kind of diabolic tempter for saying this, but c'mon, "raping your childhood"? That's just being melodramatic.
>>
>>46321345
I'm just saiyan

LWA just isn't for...lewdness

It's got an inherent innocence to it
>>
>>46292237
Witches are very combustible when tied to a piece of wood
>>
>>46321345
ey man give me the source man im not like those other two i want the source man
>>
>>46321345
That fucking filename
>>
>>46322501
I wrote it in a riddle because I was feeling kind of jerkish, I hope it makes sense

Rhyme of the Eastern Guardian:

Large and small are cousins mine,
when you look up in the sky
When greenhorns see me on their screens
Infuriating, I must seem
Please realize, I take no pleasure
in denying you my treasure
This truth I'm sure you won't deny
Need you proof? Look at mine eyes.
But if you know the magic spell,
I'll let you pass, and stories tell
my hoard of sordid, sleazy lore
will shower you with goods galore.
(If my riddle is too cryptic
you can really just google it.)

The "ex" makes it sound cool,
but it's a powerful tool
to sate all of your cravings
for "lewd Chinese engravings."
My domain is a point, next to "group" or "institution."
That's my URL. I've no doubt now your intuition
will guide your search towards a chance of fruition

honestly if you know the site I'm talking about it's easy as cake to find using the search function
godspeed
>>
>>46294176
>Filename
Shouldn't that be bluehuehue?
>>
>>46299242
WITCH!
>>
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>>46292237
The suspect has his head placed upon a block, and an axe aimed at his neck. If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off his neck — so we burn him. If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head off.
>>
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>>46323697
10/10 anon.
>>
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>>46314382
Do you tell them it's holy water or just jump out from behind something and toss a bucket of water at their head?
>>
>>46292237

The Malleus Malifecarum is pretty detailed in that matter

mostly it says that anyone "of bad reputation" is probably guilty of witchcraft of other heresy and should be tortured just in case
>>
>>46307567

K but u wrong

Witchcraft is a form of deep heresy according to the Malleus Maleficarum. Witches were burned.
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