you just cast a wild spell, roll a d10000 to find the result.
Rolled 9587 (1d10000)
>>45983741
>>45983785
>nearest paladin thinks he's committed a terrible sin
dice+1d10000
Okay, I cast it on myself.
Rolled 8890 (1d10000)
>>45984133
here ya go.
Rolled 886 (1d10000)
>>45984162
>>45984133
>all summoned creatures within 60 yards are freed of control.
Rolled 4695 (1d10000)
>>45983741
Rolled 4798 (1d10000)
>>45985809
>spectacular lighting flairs overhead when the target says his name.
Rolled 3658 (1d10000)
Rolled 7855 (1d10000)
>>45985809
never has there been a more appropriate image
Rollan:
Rolled 6705 (1d10000)
Move over, I'll show you a REAL spell.
>>45985830
>4798
target appears to be afflicted with some infectious disease
>>45985851
>3658
next fire set by caster makes all wo view it itch violently
>>45985858
>7855
target's voice sounds like it's coming from a long pipe
>>45985912
>6705
target's home fills with cottage cheese
>>45985809
>>45985844
Fuck me, this is awesome. I'd be the most obnoxious, arrogant mage this and all neighbour realms have ever seen. Always adding a pause before introducing myself, never missing and opportunity for saying the name, doing epic slides shouting my name, GOD IT'S AWESOME
Rolled 3105 (1d10000)
Rolled 9730 (1d10000)
>>45983741
This can only end excellently.
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>45986378
> Nearest valley fills with a glacier over the next 1d12 months.
Well, a few people living up there might be a bit pissed but the environmentalists will probably be thrilled.
Rolled 721 (1d1000)
Ayy
This book can go throw something as minor as the target of the spell turning blue for 24 hours to blowing up the moon
Rolled 4730 (1d10000)
>>45983741
rollan
Rolled 505 (1d10000)
>>45983741
>>45987114
Great, so I can read english now.
Rolled 1835 (1d10000)
>>45983741
>>45983741
dice+1d10000
Rolled 5238 (1d10000)
>>45987307
Rolled 791 (1d10000)
>>45983741
ROLLIN'
Rolled 5811 (1d10000)
>>45983741
I attempt to woo the fair lady with my prowess in magic!
>>45987493
>the caster is sure there's a buried artifact around
Aha! There is er... I'm sure there's a magic artifact buried around here somewhere. No wait! Where are you going? Don't you know how hard Divination spells are?!
Rolled 8171 (1d10000)
>>45987542
damn it.
Would any of you use table this while DMing?
Rolled 3712 (1d10000)
>>45983741
Another one
A better version of this list would be to this list have modifiers to the spells, and not actually sort of new spells.
>The spells apply to your father sintead of the targed
>spell duration is reduced by 2x
[....]
>>45983741
roll 1d10000
Rolled 618 (1d1000)
>>45983741
Rolled 2004 (1d10000)
>>45983741
>>45986418
That valley was home to the endangered bell-tittied nog hopper, you douchebag.
Rolled 795 (1d1000)
>>45983741
Rolled 1613 (1d10000)
>>45983741
Rollan
Rolled 1885 (1d10000)
>>45983741
Rolled 7200 (1d10000)
Behold peasants, wizard's gonna cast a spell.
Rolled 4447 (1d10000)
Here we go
Rolled 4 (1d4)
>>45988115
>target's eyes project green light for d4 days
quite cool
>>45986255
>3105
caster's pockets preserve the temperature of anything put in them
>>45986418
>10
1d100 small harmless holes appear on the casters body
>>45986817
>721
caster cannot speak when at less than full hitpoints
>>45986979
>4730
target adopts caster's alignment
>>45987114
>505
caster can automatically read the next language he hears
>>45987245
>1835
caster thinks he is phenomenally important to the universe.
>it's a wizard.
>he doesn't already believe this,
>>45987336
>5238
caster develops terrific thirst for pine tree sap.
>>45987370
>791
caster develops intense craving for charcoal.
>>45987559
>8171
one random male nearby smells like carrion to everyone else
>implying the barbarian doesn't already.
>>45987594
>3712
next meal prepared by caster causes mysterious hallucinations.
>>45988010
>618
caster can walk on water, as with ring, when naked
>>45988060
>2004
caster thinks someone is shooting a machine gun at him
>>45988080
>795
caster develops an irresistible urge to bury himself.
>>45988085
>1613
caster shines like the sun when hiding in shadows.
>>45988110
>1885
caster thinks he's a balloon and will pop is stabbed or cut.
>>45988257
>4447
next 25 gallons of water touched by target evaporate.
>>45983741
Terrible lightning flickers overhead every time the caster says his name.
Not bad!
rolling, is this how you do it?
Rolled 8863 (1d10000)
let's try this again
Rolled 1587 (1d10000)
>>45989618
>8863
all sound within 60 yards is distorted as though under water
>>45989597
dice+1d10000
>>45989760
nah i was both
>>45989618
and
>>45989597
I did a reroll cause i fucked it up the first time
Rolled 5901, 5582 = 11483 (2d10000)
I got a house rule that uses this table. Someone can cast a spell without material components, but must roll on this table a number of times equal to the spell level. For example, invisibility!
>>45989914
>5901
Target left a fire in their fireplace; House is now ablaze
>5582
Target is affected by timelessness until caster gains a level
Rolled 7132 (1d10000)
>>45983741
Casting on the entire Jewish population
Rolled 1014 (1d10000)
Casting onyour waifu
Rolled 9624 (1d10000)
>>45990405
>7132
>target's dominant hand is as durable as a steel gauntlet
and you thought their iron fisted rule over hollywood was bad before.
Rolled 5380 (1d10000)
Rolled 4785 (1d10000)
Casting unnatural lust on a tree towards a different tree.
Rolled 4569 (1d10000)
>>45990822
I just swapped two trees with their alternate Prime Material Plane selves. Okay.
Enlarge person on my dick, because I'm the kind of guy who responds to spam emails.
Rolled 5268 (1d10000)
>>45983741
MAGIC MISSILE!
Rolled 9844 (1d10000)
>>45983741
rollin
Rolled 987 (1d1000)
>>45990952
And the orc that I hit with the MAGIC MISSILE will vomit this many cubic yards of smoke.
Rolled 6793 (1d10000)
I have to run away from angry Eldritch Abomination, surely wild spell will help me!
Rolled 5117 (1d10000)
>>45991029
Well my skull is hard as helmet, shame the rest of body isn't. Lets try again!
Rolled 3101 (1d10000)
rolling
Rolled 6217 (1d10000)
Calling 2586