The Unification wars are over and the new Emperor of Mankind

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>>45518595

Maybe Wordbearers, I want a sexy Golden Man to tell me an even sexier even more golden man loves me.

>Tfw no cause.

>>45518595
It doesn't matter.

Please, let it be the Third Legion. - said the little one, knowing that marines of a legion later known as Emperor's Children, are mostly from Europa.

>>45518595
Alpha Legion. I like to fuck with people.

>>45519673
Besides, you can't spring a trap without bait.

>>45519198
What doesnt matter?

Third legion, because I'm glorious and vain

>>45519962
Which Legion you get shoved into.

If we are going for predetermined approach then its a coin toss that the legion you get shoved into is going to go traitor and a probability that they are going to be shit to live with in any case.

If we are going for more free form approach, our insertion into the universe creating a new time line, approach then its a coin toss that the legion you get shoved into is going to go traitor and a probability that they are going to be shit to live with in any case.

So really it doesn't matter.

The Imperium, even in its younger days and probably especially in its younger days if you were the Emperors favorite toy of the hour, don't give a shit what you want and unless you are truly fucking exceptional amongst the exceptional they aren't going to give a shit about what you are good at. Which Legion you end up in is just going to be a matter of which training camp you used to live closest to.

At least some of the Death Guard were British so I'll probably end up with them.

>>45518595
Luna Wolves. And I hope I die before most of them betray the Emperor.

>>45520201
or you can become a grey knight origin story

>>45520201
So die, then have your memory buried under the shame of later events?

>actually agreeing to being a space marine
See >>45520192 for why this is a bad idea.
It would be better to be a eunuch who guards the harem girls.
Anybody who has harem girls needs eunuchs to guard them, right?
>"But what if there are no harem girls?" you ask.
Any empire with a Turk as the emperor is going to have harem girls, guaranteed.
And as I mentioned before every harem needs eunuchs to guard it.
It would be better than being a space marine, that's for sure. Probably better pay, too.

To be honest I'd go iron warriors, their mathematical approach to warfare appeals to me, plus they play warhammer and I rekon I could table Perturabo.

>>45520348
I can point out two flaws with your plan anon, and it makes me TESTIE.

>>45518595
Probably Salamanders. I'm all about that chivalry shit (Also flamethrowers. Fuck yeah).

>>45520409
If you end up as a Space Marine chances are your going to get chemically castrated in any case.

At least as a harem guard you get an indoor job, little paper work, little heavy lifting, always have someone to talk to and only occasionally have to get into a shin kicking match.

>>45520544
Never, at any point in the fluff, does it say marines get castrated, chemically or otherwise.

>>45518595
I'm autistic, so its Word Bearers for me.

Lorgar did nothing wrong.

>>45520701
In Rynn's World it makes mention that a previous chapter master tried to start a eugenics program from the best of the failures. It mentions that most of them were made sterile by the procedures to become Space Marine.

Also most Marines are so rewritten that they don't feel a sex drive.

Notable exceptions being Ragnar Blackmane and Lucas the Trickster.

>>45520755
You don't need a sex drive when you have phosphorex shells anon.

>>45518595
Either Iron Warriors or Death Guard
>used of terrible conditions
>endurance is everything
>Victory matters in the end
>get to make the work without any reputation for it

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>>45518595
the choice is obvious

Deus Vult

>>45521063
>Black Templars
>Legion

I study marketing and law, so either Word Bearers or Alpha Legion, because they both just go around lying in fancy ways.

>>45520348
You seem to be under the impression that the Emperor is giving you a choice

>>45521063
That is not a legion my guy

>>45518773
Jesus lawd almighty, they gonna have to outdo themselves with Sanguinius to beat that.

>That jaw line and those plush, kissable lips.

>>45521110
>>45521347
>implying the 1st company of Imperial Fists aren't a thing and aren't made of Phalanx Wardens

>>45518595
Iron warriors. I like the massive siege guns and a practical approach to war that relay on logistics unlike the world eaters or relay on glorified heroes like the Ultramarines. Also Perturabo did nothing wrong and is justified in every way in all his actions. The Iron warriors are also architects when not in war.

>>45521803
Nah, I could table the fuck out of Perturabo, he's a scrublord for sure.

Probably raven guard.

>>45520755
>Notable exceptions being Ragnar Blackmane and Lucas the Trickster.

I don't recall any mentions of them desiring sex, having sex, or anything that involves it. At most, they have found some women attractive, but it seems more in a way one would appreciate artwork, than a drive to tap that.

>>45521200
Frankly, that would work for Ultramarines, too.

>>45518595
My snow fort was capable of repelling an Astartes snowball assault.

The Imperial Fists are the only legion for me.

>>45518773
anyone think this picture makes lorgars eyes really creepy when you the image is very small

>>45518595
People didn't get chosen for Legions anon based on character traits. They just drew from regions. Night Lords were violent criminals. Thousand Sons were Persian. Iron Warriors were probably North American. Death Guard are either British or Albanian. Ultramarines were Greek/Turkish.

>>45518595
Imperial Fists all the way.
Build forts and space crusader castles and shit, and if I live long enough, go all Teutonic.
Deus Vult.

>>45520417

Are you black?

>>45521803

Enjoy your Decimation, when you are the unfortunate scrub picked out to be killed.

>>45523468
Dude, Bjorn had so much sex appeal that he was able to make an Inquisitor cry tears of joy from a mere touch, he could probably turn a SoB order into a hot, sticky mess in a few seconds if he decided to bust a move.

I'd want to be a Dark Angel as I'm somewhat paranoid and overly secretive, and think knights and big assed swords are cool; plus considering what I wrote at the start of this post, I'm also completely gay for big hairy men..

>>45524743
Literally more likely top die fighting orks. That's a one in ten chance so you're probably safe from decimation.

>>45524943
But, he's a box.

>>45525736
Even in death I make bitches wet

Pre-pubescent me would probably end up in the world eaters due to intermittent explosive disorder. Nowadays though probably word bearers since I'm obsessed with studying religion.

>>45524639
Terran Ultrasmurfs actually were recruited from a cannibalistic tribes of Africa.

>>45526810
There were cannibalistic tribes in the year 30,000 on earth?

>>45526917
Yep, they really were.

>>45525665
Ten percent is not great odds, anon.

All of us are sweaty nerds so we'd all end up in either the Death Guard or Thousand Sons.

I could see myself maybe ending up with the Ultramarines, since I like to pretend I'm some kind of scholar. Maybe even the Dark Angels or Space Wolves due to me typically being pretty loyal to friends and whatnot.

>>45526917
The Age of Strife was a hell of a time.

>>45521063
>Deus Vult
>in 40k

>>45518595
None, I was a fat diabetic. [spoiler/] I still am

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I'd be in the mighty 7th, The Imperial Fists. Probably end up being that asshole with the meltagun in a breacher squad

>>45518595
Grew up around criminals and hated pretty much every one of them.

Mildly autistic.

Pasty and dark haired.

Feel most comfortable in dark places and places where I'm well-hidden.

Yep, I'm a Night Lord.

>>45519962
What matters is our plan

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>>45520755
>Also most Marines are so rewritten that they don't feel a sex drive.
>Notable exceptions being Ragnar Blackmane and Lucas the Trickster.

That settles it, I'm a Space Wolf

>>45528031
Sounds more like Raven Guard to me.

>>45521803
>a practical approach to war that relay on logistics

Yeah, hurling men at walls is very sensible. Ever wonder why the Iron Warriors suffered the highest casualties during the Crusade?

>>45523468
It's said in the fluff that Lucas the Trickster has known women from all the tribes of Fenris or something like that. Could be pre Astartes Lucas since Space Wolves recruits are already grown men instead of 10 or 11 years olds like the other chapters/legions

>>45528300
You might be right.

The two are fairly similar, I guess it's more about how violent and schizophrenic you are.

I'm probably not quiiite Judge Dredd enough for Curze.

I just always liked him because his last name sounds like my fucked up Slavic last name.

I'd go for Dark Angels the FIRST Legion.

>>45528396
Yeah, that could be a possibility. But there are Heresy-era Marines that were recruited as adults, like Luther and his buddies.

>>45528472
>I'm probably not quiiite Judge Dredd enough for Curze.

Judge Dredd wasn't a sadist like Curze though. I'll never understand how it wasn't the Night Lords who didn't fall to Slaanesh

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>>45518595
What legion would you say is the most "Fuck the rules i'll do what i want/feel is right"?
It's that one for me

>>45528605
>like Luther and his buddies

Luther wasn't an Space Marine, same with Kor Pheron.

>>45518595
Luna Wolves

LUPERCAL!

>>45518595
I'm a master's philosophy student so I guess Thousand Sons? They're the only legion with an explicit policy not to burn all the books of the worlds they conquer.

Otherwise I'm probably flawed in pride enough to be an ultramarine. Besides they have a more standard military style, complete with all the politicking that implies.

Well I like drinking, the only fights I have ever been in are bar fights, and I lived most of my adult life in Alaska...

Alpha Legion for me

>>45521063
LEGION. NOT CHAPTER.

White Scars

>Get cool primarch
>Dont turn traitor
>Dont get fucked in Istvaan
>Get to go fast

>>45528837
>Dont turn traitor
Uh, like half his legion went traitor and Khan had to purge a bunch of them

>>45528964
Yeah, but you have the option to stay loyal to the Emps without getting teamkilled by your primarch.

>>45528999
The same applies to the Dark Angels.

>>45528630
World Eaters.

>>45529021
>Lion El'Jonson
>Loyal

chose one and only one

If I was recruited based on where I live now, then yeah, Iron Warriors or whichever one recruited from the Nordeastern-Merikan hive clades and junk.

If it was based on traits I displayed at an early age, Thousand Sons all the way. I was the froggiest little bookworm you can imagine.

If I were to join up based on who I am now, probably still Thousand Sons, or possibly the Word Bearers.

That, or I'd be shunted into the Remembrancer corps.

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>>45529051
8/8, am ok with this

I enjoy driving my motorcycle fast.

White Scars for me.

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I'd probably be shoved into the World Eaters or Imperial Fists. Probably the World Eaters now that I think about it more.

>>45529132
inb4 filthy heretic, tell me something I don't know loyalist lapdogs

Where were the blood angels recruited from? Seems like you don't know anything about their early history

Third
I am a vain and pretty

the blood angels legion

>>45518595

Either Word Bearers for the FUNdamentalism or the Iron Warriors for the autistic love of logistics and methodical warfare.

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>>45529425
>>45529543
Why would anyone want to join the Blood Angels? They're the most genetically fucked up legion (maybe next to 1kS) and literally drink blood. That shit's gross yo

>>45518595
Iron Warriors or Death Guard.
I've got some serious constitution bonuses. I'm not all that agile, but I can take a serious beating. Plus, I have a borderline fetish for the big guns and chem weapons.

>>45529117
Only half the legion fell. And the Primarch did not join Chaos.

>>45529605
>drinks blood
>still far more tolerable than space furries.
because sometimes in the far future, my geneseed will live on in the most bro tier of chapters

>>45529683
>only half
>only

Also Lion may have stayed loyal, but if the tides turned against the Emperor you know he would have sided with Horus. He was the Tywin Lannister of the HH

>>45529705
>>45529683

Unless I missed something recently, there's no way half the legion fell to Chaos. Only the garrison on Caliban that was under Luther's control went traitor, and even then a goodly portion of them did it under the impression that *they* were the Loyalists!

As for the Lion himself, as much as I'd like for him to be a complex and mysterious character with unclear ambitions, BL has pretty much confirmed it at this point that he was actually the most loyally loyal Primarch of them all and would have never betrayed Daddy Emps.

>>45528396

The quote implies he's been doing that stuff before his recruitment.

>A near-legendary figure amongst Fenris' womenfolk, Lukas was once famous for sharing a dozen beds in a single night. But since his elevation to the ranks of the Space Wolves, it is Lukas' contributions to the Chapter's war efforts that have earned him lasting respect

But it's only in the 5th edition codex and not in the next one, GW probably realized the fanwank potential on that one.

Then there is this, which is probably a reference to spess vampires.

>"The Lost Company of Svengar the Red"
>Sailing through a wyrmhole in search of his lost Primarch Svengar the Red finds himself and his men transported far beyond the rim of the galaxy, past even the Ghost Stars. The void is empty as a heretic's soul. Svengar's men begin to talk of whispered voices in the night, promising them safe haven. Unsure of his coordinates, Svengar presses on. Days pass into months, On the cusp of turning back, a dark planet is glimpsed in the distance. The Space Wolves head towards the distant orb, expecting trouble. Instead they find a civilization of tall, fair people who live in opulent luxury of their own making, far frmo the war and confusion of the galactic core. Relieved to have found a base of operations Svengar and his men begin to relax and enjoy themselves, feasting and recounting tales of their deeds to the fair people of the far0flung world. It is only when Svengar makes a casual pass at one of their women that the Space Wolves realize their hosts are not people at all. Though they fight bravely, Svengar and his men are never seen again.

>>45529698
>entire squads or even companies go berserk and kill anything that moves
>werewolves that can reason and fight against the threats of the imperium
For all your memeing at least the wolves would still defend the imperium rather than eating their allies alive, there is a reason nobody in the imperium likes the flesh eaters, only their chapter master have some sense in that maddened chapter.

>>45518595
Gotta go Thousand Sons.
If I somehow survive getting horribly mutated, my rampant kleptomaniac tendencies will ensure a relatively bright future.

>>45521803
> a practical approach to war that relay on logistics
>unlike glorified heroes like the Ultramarines


Nigga you are a dumb fool, you'll make great with Perturabo.

>>45529739
But that's his thing. Lion is autisticly dogged in his loyalty.
He chose the Emperor and followed him, no matter what. He decapitated that guy because he wanted to go against the Emperors decree.
Or take the scene where he puts a sword into Curze. That went against everything he believed, but for once he was able to see past his autism and do something unexpected. He apologized to Curze for doing it. Hell, the Marines around them lost their shit. Mostly because Curze had a fuckhueg sword in his gut, but also because nobody expected Lion to do anything like that. The only thing they fucked up wasn't making him contenplate the event, where he went against his character, and maybe make him grow as a person.

>>45518595
I point to my tits and ask if he's feeling okay because that seems like kind of an oversight if you ask me.

>>45529705
He was an Autist of HH for sure.

>>45520755
You are making such a big deal out of this, but come on do you think not being able to fuck changes anything for mostall of /tg/?

Either the Alpha Legion or the Dark Angels, perhaps the Raven Guard. I place a lot of importance on the power of secrets; they're a powerful weapon that can only be used once at the proper moment, and is also a dagger pointed straight at my heart.

>>45531195
I kinda like masturbating.

>>45518595
Blood Angels. I'm pretty, I'm fighty and I like Jump Packs. The other option would be Raven Guard before they found Corax and he turned them into limp-dicked weaklings.

Luna Wolves. Strategically be near Horus when he gets hurt, silently finish the job before the retards try to help him.
Die as an unsung hero. Hated by all.

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>>45518595
Emperor's Children

Because an Empire can't last by only military strength.
It need art, culture and talents. People free to express themselves, to improve their unique skills and contribute to each other greatness.

Emperor's Children don't make only war, they make the Imperium something worth existing.

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>>45530978
kek

>>45521353
They did say that Lorgar looked the most like the Emperor, so it makes sense that he'd be hot.

>>45530978
Ok you also have a glorious Y chromosome in this hypothical

>>45533418

Manboobs. Also working with the assumption you have a schlong.

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>>45518595

>>45520348
There were no Turks in Anatolia when the Empra was born.

>>45531539
I'd rather bring fiery death to the enemies of humanity than masturbate, but maybe that's just me.