First Post Quest

>masturbate

>>45275801
Acquire lighter and gasoline.

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>>45275813
"Aaaah, all done..."

>Write in

>look up cute cat pictures

>>45275839
Seconded

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>>45275839
"So cuuute..."

>Write in

go buy dynamite

>>45275867
>Begin construction on our mecha.

>>45275867
>Drive fist through monitor.

>>45275867
Get swole

Super Swole

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>>45275869
"The order should come in a few days..."

>Write in

>>45275828
> try to sell your now freshly used panties online

>>45275895
>Purge heretics

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Rolled 499 (1d1000)

>>45275898
"I hope someone buys them at a good price..."

You gain [roll] $

>Write in

>>45275928
Invest new gains in starting up a human trafficking gig

>>45275928
Shit, that's a lot of money.

>invest in future

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Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>45275949
"...Do I actually know how start up a human traffic gig?"

If I roll a >=50, then it's yes.

>>45275990
Make a peanut butter and banana sandwich

>>45275990
Start buying Chinese infants.

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>>45275990

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>>45275990
"I do!"

You contact an Asian human trafficking mafia and invest [$499] in their business.

>Write in

>>45276017
Make Elvis's famous fried chicken

>>45276017
Ponder the fact we're a monster, then forget about it and make that fucking peanut butter and banana sandwich.

>>45276017
Go make a fucking sandwich.

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>>45276025
"Aaaah. Smells delicious!"

>Write in

>>45276063
Acquire alcoholism.

>>45276063
Tip the police off to the traffic ring and collect the bounty

>>45276067
Brilliant

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>>45276066
"Hick!... That... Dynamite should come anytime now..."

"Hick!"

>Write in

>>45276094
Tip police off to traffic ring, collect bounty, eat chicken, party

>>45276094
Drive. Alternatively, set fire to house.

>>45276094
Go to school

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>>45276094
GAINS GET GAINS

>>45276135
GET HUGE!

HUUUUGE!

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Rolled 193 (1d500)

>>45276099
(I'm only going to do actions up to what can be represented in a single picture. I don't want people to write me a huge list and then expect me to do everything lol)

"Interpol? Yeah. Uh, there's like an Asian Mafia. Human traffic. Yeah. Yeah. OK, you're welcome!"

You gain $[roll] from the bounty.

Your dynamite has arrived, and it's now in a box in your living room.

>Write in

>>45276150
Drink more and eat chicken.

>>45276150
Make dynamite dolls

>>45276150
Drink more and blow up a school.

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>>45276150
GET GAINS

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>>45276154
You had lunch. It was delicious!

>Write in

>>45276169
>buy a kitten

>>45276169
Tame the ahoge.

>>45276170
Seconded.

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>>45276169
I need to get
>_____

>>45276169
Develop a fetish for raglan sleeves

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>>45276170
"Yeeeey, I got a kitty now!"

>Write in

>>45276206
It's Morphin Time!

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>>45276206

>>45276206
Post cat pics online.

>>45276206
Get smashed and get gains.

>>45276206
Feed the kitty to your pet crocodile

>>45276215
seconded, your kitty is the cutest

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>>45276210
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MalLny7MT6E

"Ready to Morph into action!"

You make some silly poses, enthusiastically.

>Write in

>>45276259
Boogie with cat

>>45276259
Pray to the omnissiah.

>>45276150
>Your dynamite has arrived, and it's now in a box in your living room.

That was a very quick day.

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>>45276259
kill yourself rachel

>>45276266
seconded, I approve of the cute

>>45276277
Her name is Jenny you fuck

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>>45276297
kill yourself jenny

>>45276259
This may seem a little obvious but... check how many hits our cat video is getting. Did we rich?

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>>45276266
You boogie with the cat!

Boogie boogie boogie!

>Write in

>>45276326
Sell the cat to fund rampant drinking.

>>45276326
Meatloaf time!

>>45276326
>complement cat on dancing skills
>with pets

>>45276326
Check your e-mail

>>45276326
Figure out what your magical girl powers are and if your cat is eligible to be a familiar.

>>45276329
You monster.

>>45276335
Steady now, we dont want to overstimulate the kitteh, then we'll get bites.

>>45276348
We must rescue the kitty

>>45276348
Alcohol is the real villain here.

Acquire magic shoes from ebay.

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>>45276329

"Hick!"

"I.. Could buy a lot of booze with that!"

"Hick!"

>Write in

Get to rehab. We must earn our kitty back.

>>45276378
Rescue kitty 007 style

>>45276378
Rehab, gotta fix this shit man.

>>45276382
Seconded

>>45276383
Thirded if rehab doesn't work out

Rescue the cat with dynamite?

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>>45276382

"I'm no longer an alcoholic!"

>Write in

>>45276432
Rescue kitty 007 style

>>45276432
Rescue cat with dynamite.

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Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>45276437
"I got to break into a house - the one belonging to the person I sold my cat to!"

"I hope this goes well!"

>=50, you succeed.

>>45276437
>>45276447
Yes.

>>45276479
Celebrate with a drink or two.

>>45276479
Pet cat.

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>>45276479
>success

Take our fuzzy buddy home and give him a hug.

Learn kung fu.

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>>45276479
Success!

You hug kitty dearly, back home again.

>Write in

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>>45276479
Could we train the cat to be sold and then come back to us.
Can we rich?

>>45276505
Richard Simmons work out time

>>45276505
Blow up a hospital.

>>45276505
We have to use our money to provide for our cat. Like getting cat food!

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>>45276506

>Write in

>>45276528
Meatloaf break

>>45276522
>>45276528

>>45276528
Kill my neighbor

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>>45276534
"So delicious!"

nom nom nom nom

>Write in

convert to Islam.
Hijab it up

>>45276560


Go to the weekly neo Nazi meeting. Remember the uniform!

>>45276560
Feed cat.

>>45276560
I have to go now, but i hope this is not the end of our get rich quick schemes.

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>>45276561

"Praise Allah"

>Write in

>>45276617
get /fit/

>>45276617
Belly dance on Web show

>>45276617
See if those explosives have arrived yet

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>>45276617
hijab is cute

give kitty hijab

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>>45276619

"Damn, I'm swole."

"Praise Allah."

>Write in

>>45276680
Join ISIS

>>45276680
Start smoking to fill the void in your heart that was alcohol.

>>45276688
DUDE WEED LMAO

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>>45276685

>>45276685
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQoJvI8XUa0

>>45276690
Cigarettes you faggot.

>>45276685
T-to work as an agent for our homecountry, ready to betray the Islamic State at a moments notice? DUBS WILLS IT?

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>>45276685

"Wha -"

"Dudes, c'mon, let me join."

"This isn't fun if you keep on writing in runes, guys."

>Write in

>>45276743
Go to france commit massacre

>>45276743
give up and watch anime.

>>45276680
Put. The bunny. Back. In the box.

>>45276743
Abandon Allah, his people talk too funny.

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>>45276747

"France is a cool place."

"But... Killing one person isn't easy - let alone killing several! I have no weapons either! I can't do it!"

>Write in

>>45276816
Learn mime magic.

>>45276816
Use gains to join the French Foreign Legion. They have lodsaguns.

>>45276816
Buy a baguette.

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>>45276823
You talk to some friendly mimes and learn their ways.

You've learned the spell "Imaginary Box!". +10 make-believe AC. Requires concentration.

>Write in

>>45276940
Try out some fine french wines and cheeses.

>>45276940
Realize you've left the cat home alone for several days.

>>45276940
>You talk to some friendly mimes
Stop spoiling the illusion.

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>>45276946
You visit some restaurantes and try out wine and cheese. It tasted so good!

You gave thumbs up in gratitude because you can't speak french.

>Write in

>>45276996
post on /tg/

>>45276996
Craft gun that turns people into little girls

>>45276996
Be the cat you left back home.

>>45276996
Become maid.

>>45276996
Get a sex change

>>45276996
Praise Xcom instead of Allah.

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>>45277005
You go to a cybercafe and remind people to thin their paints on /tg/

>Write in

>>45277083
>>45277032
THERE IS NO GOD BUT THE COMMANDER AND BRADFORD IS HIS PROPHET.

>>45276996
Visit /pol/

>>45277083
Convert to X-COM

>>45277083
Craft gun that turns people into little girls

>>45277083
Be the cat

>>45277083
Go home feed cat

>>45277086
how did this become a meme?

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>>45277086

You remind people on /tg/ that "THERE IS NO GOD BUT THE COMMANDER AND BRADFORD IS HIS PROPHET."

>Write in

Be the cat

>>45277187
get sex change

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>>45277188
You go into the bathroom, remove the hijab and nyan towards the mirror.

Give the cat a sex change

>>45277238
get sex change

>>45277238
Make a :3 face

>>45277238
Go home, feed cat

>>45277238
Put the hijab back on

>>45277243
What have you DOOOONE

Renounce Islam, become a Nun

>>45277243
I think you broke the quest

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>>45277243
You returned back home and gave the kitten a sex change!

>Write in

Lose gains

>>45277365
renounce islam, become a luchadore

Gonna end it here for today, exhausted.

It was fun though!

Archived: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

>>45277481
best quest ever.

>>45277481
Simpler quests like this can be a lot of fun.

>>45277365
>cat was a female all along
WHAT
A
TWEEST

>>45277576
nah, First Response Quest was better.

Cut off your ahoge

this was pretty good desu imo senpai

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This was a super fun read!