Cringy DM Moments

>>44759715
it's not that cringeworthy it's just lazy

>>44759746
¿Porque no los dos?

>>44759715
is your DM black, by chance?

>>44759715
Omg I hope it was very unoriginal and yet the DM didn't realize you all knew

>yfw you have a session you've put a ton of work into and you've made everything just right for the players
>HAPPENING
>now it looks like a lazy ripoff of current events

>>44759715
>Being too shit to call out your GM's bullshit.
>Hiding in the bathroom 45 minutes.
>Not just getting up and leaving.

You have nobody to blame.

>>44762121

That would require being adults, anon.

>>44759940
Black DM.....lmao

Now watch as a bunch of liars pop up to claim "oh yea, lots of black dm's in our group."

Actual number of black dm's world wide is less than 10.

>>44759715
Just got back from a session that what pretty much like this.
>We are all third level
>Start in a tarven
>Told that we are drunk and stumble into other bar-members
>now in combat with the whole bar
>Dm says we attack with a disadvantage because we're all drunk
>Fucking magic missile I don't give a shit
>He says the room fills in with people from the street, all with weapons drawn
>We run because it's obvious that's our only choice
>Run out to a field with a forest in front of us and a crowd of "more than one hundred" angry townspeople
>Looks like its into the forest we go
>We decide as a party to go back when the crowd disperses and loot what we can
>Woods are now magical, no way out
>Sleep for the night because there is nothing else to do
>Wake up with knives at our throats, and no weapons
>Bandits want to take our money
>My wizard is gagged "so I can't cast magic"
>Our Ranger tries to escape
>Bandit stabs her for "half your hit points"
>Suddenly, a DMPC appears and distracts them enough for us to get away
>Kill them bandits
>DMPC wants us to visit his house
>I want answers about the enchantment on the woods first, that he admits he knows about but won't say anything more
>Threaten to probe his mind if he doesn't give me his answer outright
>DMPC runs away
>DM calls of the session and says that his whole plot revolved around trusting this DMPC from the onset only to be betrayed later on
>Claims that magic is too overpowered to be dealt with in e5
>One of our players takes up DM and does a pretty damn good job on the fly for the rest of our time

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>>44759715
You catch a knight in the middle of disarmoring. What do?

>>44759715
>> the older guy we play rolled his eyes and went to the bathroom for 45 minutes
>> he sent me a text after 15 asking "is it over yet?"
Your guy is PAINFULLY immature.

>>44759715
great time to play an LG Paladin and support the city guard against a seditious mob

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>Have game 2 days before 9/11 anniversary
>We get into a town at war with some bandits
>The bandits hate all the freedom the citizens of the town have
>One of them strikes a deal with a dying dragon
>Crashes the dragon into the two castles that were side by side
>Those screams coming from inside

Never forget

>Cyberpunk campaign.
>GM starts us off separately.
>Does stuff with other PC for a while before switching over to me.
>Has me driving around, describing the backdrop of the city, including an ambulance that passes me.
>I keep driving.
>GM calls the session because apparently I was supposed to follow the ambulance, even though there was absolutely no reason for my character to do so, nor any indication that that is what he wanted me to do, for that matter. It was just an ambulance passing me with its sirens on.

>>44764653
I had a black DM once, feels good to be in the exclusive black DM players club

>>44767765
>We try again to get this thing to work.
>GM runs a short solo session for me in which a couple of people I don't know attack me seemingly without reason.
>Shoot out in restaurant occurs, I bunker down, taking cover and holding a position where it's hard for them to get at me.
>They take off after it's clear I'm not going down easily.
>Okay, now it's time to draw me into the adventure, proper.
>A day or two later, the same guys who attacked me for no reason pull up in a car and say "get in; we need your help."
>*Sigh*
>My character gets in the car.

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>>44759715
>DM: "hey you guys want to play a star wars game"
>Us: "yeah sure"
>DM: "okay, I'm gonna write up star wars rules for 5e"
>Me: "why not just use any of the many pre-existing games? i heard the new one was really good"
>DM: "nah i like 5e and it's not too much work"
>TWO MONTHS LATER
>Us: "so uh you still interested in doing star wars"
>DM: "nah it was too much work making rules let's just play d&d 5e"

Why are humans like this?

>>44767805
But wait, it's not over yet.
>I finally hook up with another PC.
>The guy is apparently wanted for murder and whatever story he told me about what's going down is apparently a lie, the GM tells me, doing everything he can to stoke my paranoia.
>The guy is a fucking badass in combat with all kinds of combat upgrades against which I stand little chance.
>The GM makes it seem like he's working for my (poorly established or explained) enemies, who hired the two guys to attack me for no reason.
>Makes it seem like the other PC is about to kill me, so I act first, drawing my gun on him when he turns away for a moment.
>Other PC (understandably) doesn't take kindly to having me point a gun at his head.
>Threats and demands go back and forth between us.
>Ends up with him using his heightened reflexes to escape with some pot shots fired between us.
>Game collapses because now PCs are enemies.

>>44764653
>not having your game run by one of the few black DMs in the world
>not being in a highly exclusive group

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>>44767849
>Game collapses because now PCs are enemies.
But that's when things get interesting!

>>44764653
If I knew how to DM I'd raise that number a bit but I haven't even gotten the chance to finish a campaign yet. Barely got started and the dm went all autistic and ran everyone off.

>>44768040
On my laptop that screen grab is either illegible or wide enough that I have to scroll back and forth with every line. Either way, it's not getting read.

>>44764653
Whitebread, chickenshit cracker identified.

>>44764653
>my surroundings are the world

I know 4 black DMs. Go beyond yourself anon.

>>44767848
Fucking hell, I know this shit. Not star wars but just as bad.

Guy got a huge boner for greek mythology after reading some series and then wanted to convert VtM to be some type of demigod+daywalker type shit under the control of Artemis.

He got pissed and refused to run anything else when we told him that literally any other system could have done what he wanted VtM to do. He did not want the base system without vampire stuff, he just wanted his new stuff stacked with the old but would not let us help him playtest it to see if was even viable.

>>44768335
I'd blame your laptop, because it's perfectly readable for me.
Either way, thanks for informing everyone about the fact that you refuse to read it.

>>44768452
1366x768 is the most common laptop screen resolution. That image is 1633 pixels wide, meaning that you'd have to zoom out a couple of steps to read it on the average laptop, and if you've got a little netbook for portability, shit starts getting ridiculous.

>>44768335
you miss something, the story is amazing

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>>44768040
>unironically thinks that PvP "gets things interesting"

Unless you're playing Paranoia or some other game that encourages it... don't do it.
PvP in a cooperative game is shit and will only lead to bad times all around

>>44768598
The way things were going in that game, it could've worked out.

But yes, intentional PvP is crap. I agree

>>44768613
Here's my prediction: one of the PCs would have killed the other and the player would've left to go have fun with a better group.

No, pitting PCs against each other where one or more of them are going to die, is not going to work out.

>>44765743
>3rd level
>Magic Over Powered
Damn at best that's a 2nd level spell, even the save or suck ones don't suck that hard that early on. Unless color spray still mercs everything like it did previously.
That DM sucks hard dude.

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>>44759715
>7 or so years go
>Be invited by a friend to play 3.5 GM'd by a friend of my friend
>Cool
>I don't know anyone but my friend
>Game starts, everything is normal
>Suddenly one of the PCs wants to go to a whorehouse
>GM says perfect
>Dude pays for a whore, fuckes her and then proceeds to slice her throat in the middle of the whorehouse
>NPCs don't do shit and keep minding their own
>GM "And this is how whores were treated back them, you paid for them, you own them so you can do whatever you want..."
>mfw
>Look at my friend
>Quietly "The actual fuck?"
>Friend also quietly "I don't know"
Never return for a second session
Never met with thouse guys again

>>44767621
'Lady Margaret, do you have any spare armour polish?'

>>44765743
Tarven sounds like a real shitshow of a town.

>>44768436
You know 2/5 of world black DM's
You should be produ

>>44768717
>there are actually people THAT retarded when it comes to how "things were back then"
It's like they are utterly incapable of stopping for a second, think, and realise how it is completely backwards in every social and economical way.
"Yeah sure senpai, just do whatever you want. It's not like our whores are the source of income for this whore house or anything. For an extra fee of "lol grimdark", we'll even not clean up the mess and leave her to rot!"

Sure, most people probably wouldn't care if some whore died, but if she was murdered people would still react due to there being a fucking murderer on the loose, let alone seeing the throat being slit right in front of you.

>>44764653
Fewer than 10.

>>44768717
Don Cappricio may not care if a whore dies, but he cares very much if one of HIS whores dies, in his establishment. You now owe the local mob a very large sum of money, or your lives.

>>44768755
I'm proud! Be proud of your dubs, anon!

>>44768717
that group clearly enjoyed grimderp magic realms, and you didn't, so you were that guy.

>>44764653
I'm one and my friend is another one.

>>44767621
Who is this semen demon?

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>>44768436
Hmmm are you in prison? That's the only way I see this happening.

>>44768441
Jesus Christ just use Scion

>>44764653
Very perceptive anon.
>>44767767
>>44768233
>>44768436
>>44769350
kek

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>>44759715
>Pathfinder, playing as a bard
>We're all taking turns trying out DM'ing
>One of the guys is notorious for being pants-on-head retarded
>Go into church overrun by zombies
>Church doesn't even look like a church, it has five basements
>Other magical artifacts and such in the church, so I'm liberally using Detect Magic
>The zombies show up as faint necromancy, as well as another, more powerful enchantment on them as well
>I focus on it, pass the Spellcraft check
"You detect the spell Permanancy on all the zombies"
>Mfw

>>44768717
Kek faggot, DM finally allowing yourself to unleash your inner edge and you moral fag out. Should have started burning down orphanages and organizing hobo death matches

>>44768717
>Never return for a second session
>Never met with thouse guys again

That's for the best anon. You did good.

>>44767848

Good Lord but DnD can breed such a cancerous attitude in people. The sort of guys who feel they're being adventurous by switching to Pathfinder.

>>44768717

>A story with retards where the player actually just leaves instead of going into a masturbatory fantasy about how he showed them up.

Holy shit, is this a real story on /tg/?

>Game starts off in a village named Wood.
>Just Wood.
>Ask why.
>"It's a lumber town!"

Not even that big of a deal, but goddamn it was just so lazy.

>>44759715
God I hate these threads since this board went down the shitter. I'm guessing we'll see lots of "My DM did this thing which I interpreted as sexist/creepy/misogynist/racist/"transphobic, isn't it such cringe xD"

>>44772824
To be fair, there is a town called Brick in New Jersey.

>>44764653
Same with anything.
One anon says "gay", and then 20 anons pop in and claim " oh ya, lots of gays in our group!".
Then the next anon ups the ante, and mentions trannys. Suddenly, the stakes are raised.. " oh ya, 4 trannys in my group!!".
To listen to tg, is to think that 90% of gamers are gay, black, trans, female or a Jew.
Mfw: literally traveled the US, and seen a lot of groups. 99% are white, male, and straight.

No, come lie some more tg. Its the internet after all.

>>44772874
How strong is the enchantment on your Rose Tinted Goggles, anon? Mine's only +2, but it sounds like yours are at least +3, maybe +4. Can I borrow them?

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>>44764653
Such a lust for replies.

>>44765743
You ran to the forest, when clearly you should have found some train tracks.

>>44773253
>tg is an extreme minority group compared to the majority of rpg players
>is surprised that players here have wildly different experiences than the norm

Not too bright are ya?

>>44773253
Have you considered confirmation bias?

>>44774325
Or..they're full of shit.

>>44764653
I had one once for DH! He was Canadian too so he was totally okay with me dropping n-bombs all day erry day!

>>44774170(Yoooooouuu)

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>>44768635
>>44768613
>>44768598


>TFW you never play in a campaign lasting more than a year with awesome roleplayers and genuinely fun people.
>TFW you don't get thrown into events that spiral out of your control and force friends, companions, brothers to draw blades against each other due to circumstances they could never have expected.
>Never can roleplay the Paladin cleaving through your character with his Holy Avenger at the climax of the adventure, then hold his dying body with tears in his eyes and apologize to his friend
>Never have the other character's player have his Warlock say, at his dying breath, that he knows and forgives him.
>TFW you never know PvP done right.

You disgusting, filthy plebs.

>>44774442
What does anyone have to gain in lying? Nobody gains anything by falsely claiming that they played with a tranny or a nigger.
Have you considered that you may be wrong?

>>44774531
>What does anyone have to gain in lying?
Oh you beautiful summer child

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>>44772414

>Zombies
>Church
>Five basements

... wait a minute..

>>44768394
Hello Reddit!

>>44774570
What was the best class to play in diablo 1 and diablo 2 respectively?

>>44774531
kek

>>44774558
No really. For this case specifically is everyone in this thread just here to spite you?

>>44764653
B-but I'm a black DM...

>>44774705
Of course you are.
But.....are you also gay?

>>44774643

>Diablo 1
Wizard. Because Wizards are awesome.

>Diablo 2
And that's when the series turned to shit.

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>>44774744
Nobisexual-ish or something

>>44774795
Even better!

See, look how unique!!!

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>>44773253

>New DM for our group
>Friend of friend kinda deal
>Seems cool, meet at his house, start gaming
>Few sessions go by, and all seems cool
>Adventures are a little campy, but seem to hit enough nostalgic notes to be fun
>Group doing well, decide we need to establish a base of operations for our little adventuring company
>Groups thinking of maybe an old farmhouse, or leasing a few rooms out of a comfy tavern
>DM offers to set us up in a brothel
>Kind of insists really, as in "youre now in your brothel"
>wut, but okay, whatever
>"So whats our arrangement with the owner?"
>"Oh, you guys own it all."
>"Wait like...whores and all? How?"
>"Dont worry about it, you just have it now."
>"Well I guess it's cool. Do we get some kind of monthly income then?"
>And then it went magical realm.
>He starts naming off these dozen prostitutes we have.
>Telling us their backstory
>And how we dont make any money, cause we let the whores keep their payments, cause we're all cool and socially just like that
>For two more sessions, game just spirals into these weeaboo-tier social interactions we're forced into with different whores
>There isnt a third, we all get too busy to play games anymore
>Everyone, including the friend of DM, just gtfo'd

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>>44774570
As shit, that didn't even click for me until you mentioned it.

This fucker also modeled all of his NPC's and PC's after video game characters, so I guess I should have expected it.

>>44764653
People seriously get baited by THIS?

Get fucking thicker skin, people, christ.

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>>44767765
>>GM calls the session because apparently I was supposed to follow the ambulance
At least he wasn't rail roading

>>44762121
this

>>44767744
KEK

>>44775100
>anon calls bullshit on bullshit post
>hurrrr baited!
>hahaha triggered!

Fag.

>>44774811
I mean, if I have to be one of the ten black DMs in all the world, I may as well be as much a unicorn as possible.

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>>44774506

>>44773263
winrar

Well I was playing Out of the Abyss and my bellydancing male chaotic good High Elf got gang raped by quags.

I knew something bad might happen but wanted to risk it anyway provided the DM made it a part of the escape attempt help or something.


It was really awesome that first dnd session. None of our 6 including female DM are SJWs and none of us seem to be politically correct.

LITERALLY GANGRAPE YAY

I mention it because this would have been awkward experience for pussy faggots who hate realism.

>>44775485
If your whole group had fun doing so, it's a success. Doesn't mean I want it in my games though...

Mostly because we have someone who was raped in the past.

>>44775547
yeah, I totally feel for rape victims and people who don't want their characters having really disturbing things for them.

Our dm works for the local RPG store and AMERICA Club, so she is pretty experienced.

She basically started off without changing anything, then once she saw us all bantering (we also have a girl in the group, for 4 guys, a girl and a lady DM) and the girl player clearly having to issues with the banter she then starting adding a bit more grueling stuff.

Good indicators of a group not minding awful things happening is when a player is willing to become a sex slave to the drow priestess but only backs out when informed that his character would certainly die without assisting party from escaping.

>>44764653
>tfw black
>tfw not enough people to dm
Who /JUST/here.

>>44767744
He crashed the dragon? With no survivors?

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>>44775624
Hey, I feel ya.

I feel a bit uncomfortable handling rape and the more sexual things but if you like it: go right ahead. I mean, I've got my group, you got yours and everything is peachy right?

's long as no one tries to push anything on me that I dislike, we're cool.

>>44775485
Characters like that, is why players like you will never get in the good groups that have awesome games.
You're stuck with "lulz my elf waz rapeeed! Hahaha we are funny".
Enjoy m8.

>>44775792
??

I am treating this starting dungeon like the backstory of my character. I plan on having this insanely awesome road to recovery for my High Elf where he manages to heal mentally and make himself stronger from the horrific experience.

I obviously thought it was funny at the time, as did everyone else, but I am still trying to role play. This was my first DnD session EVER so it's a learning experience.

>>44767744
Dragonfire can't melt stone beams!

>>44774643
Monk and Paladin.

>>44767710

Because he didn't want to deal with a shitty game?

>>44776480
>Because he didn't want to deal with a shitty game?
No, because he didn't talk to the GM instead of vanishing like a bitch. Hell, he could have just left, even that would have had more integrity. Why play a social game when you suck at talking to people?

>>44773253
My black DM was gay and had a transwoman in his other group

>>44769024
But that's wrong you fucking idiot. A That Guy would have continuously clashed with and dragged the session down over something he didn't like rather than simply not showing up for another session. Stop using terms you don't fully understand.

>>44772824
Someone's never been to Madera, CA

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>>44776237

>>44776624
>Why play a social game when you suck at talking to people?

Because it was a good campaign and the DM is sensitive and we didn't want to end up nuking the campaign, it's better to just ride out the cringe sometimes.

I see your point but there is more to maturity than 100% candor all the time.

>>44776814
If course, lad.

Of course.

>>44776624
I imagine a lot of gamers suck at talking, explaining why dnd is played mostly as a combat sim.

>>44777028
Eeeeeh. Okay, I guess. I'm just really allergic to this kinda thing because it tends to really fester and not be good for group cohesion. Carry on.

>>44773253
Probably true.
Between all the groups I play with, there are 2 women and 3 brown guys. The remaining 80% or so are all white guys. No black people or asians so far.

>>44769024
>You're a sane human being so obviously you were That Guy
is this the worst /tg/ meme?

>>44772824
I want to name a town wood now

>>44777023
Bald men's club!

>>44764653
my former DM was half-black

>>44777951
Of course he was.

our boardgaming group has a woman or a guy who looks like a dude with make up and a standard tranny voice in some sort of tank dress.

I didn't say anything and refused to make any thought on it because one of the guys I get along well with in the group seems to be gay? but acts reasonably straight. And our game leader guy has a stutter and vaguely autistic but definitely more of a nerdy dude who is quite fun to be around.

Shits weird yall, but good enough no to be worth it to go.
Most of everyone else is straight and just nerdy which is what one should expect.

One of the dm brings his young daughter to play and she laughs when someone gets raped so yeah.

olladls

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>playing a game of world jumpers
>end up in Sengoku Japan
>staying at a Shinten priests compound
>catch a kunoichi-maid going through our gear
>after long interrogation, find her family where mercilessly killed by corrupt samurai
>gentlemanly English character already prepared to plead for her life
>she ends up as sort of an indentured servant
>session is wrapping up
>btfw she has double rape babies
Why?

>>44778010
>One of the dm brings his young daughter to play and she laughs when someone gets raped so yeah.
>players and DMs keeping it R18+ with minors around
I hate this.

>>44778521
If you don't expose them to adult material, how will you groom them for sex?

>>44778567
apart from how disturbing that is anon,
adult material doesn't have to be rape
rape is bad m'kay?

>>44778567
>not in a private place
>with fa/tg/uys
Nope.

>>44773253
The funny thing is that I'm the only straight white guy in my group. The other players are:
>Bisexual half-black trans woman
>Bisexual half-Jewish cis woman
>Pansexual (I don't know why this is different from bisexual) Hispanic cis man
And then there's me. Straight white cis man who was brought up in a Protestant household and who works in accounting.

>>44775929
>PLEASE GIVE ME ATTENTION

>>44778484
Man, I wish it was kept that Doom is actually handsome behind his mask but with a teeny scar. Maybe it wouldn't have resulted in some many doomfaggots all over /co/.

How can you even respect a guy who keeps getting beaten by Fantastic 4? inb4 hurr daughter name; it doesn't make him any less of a petty little asshole

>>44778010
>>44778567
Back to /b/

>>44779101
different people btw. And I generally go along with what others do within reason.

>>44779013
Of course.

kek

If you decide to roleplay rape in any ttrpg situation, you are a shit human being.
>muh realism
Shut the fuck up. You're playing pretend in a fantasy world of your creation. If you allow rape, that's on you and your sick chickenshit friends

>>44779013
Those sure are a lot of made up words. Are you guys don't sit around and bitch about the patriarchy instead of actually playing?

>>44781493
This.

>>44764653
Black DM reporting in, assnugget.

>>44781737
Of course you are.

>>44768441
Man he must suck because I've run a fuckton of shit on the OWoD storyteller system. even space combat and shit, its a fairly simple system to tweak and homebrew.

>>44781493
If you actually care about what a bunch of fat neckbeards do in their basement trying to make their game of pretend seem "dark" so they can enjoy it more then you really need to get something going on in your life so you don't have enough free time to waste worrying about things that will in no way ever actually affect you let alone even leave said basement.

That is assuming you're not some funny le epic troll spouting stupid shit intentionally to start fights on the internet, but even then you could still find a better way to spend your time.

>been going for a few sessions with a group of beginners
>mostly played vidya so not used to having so many options to solve a situation
>arrive at an iron door
>check it for traps, find none
>start trying to barge the door down
>no str fighter/pally
>they all roll to bash this door down and get mad at me when they cant do it after several attempts
>I say "did you try the handle?"

>>44781995
>bitches about someone bitching about something
>omg...time waste!!
>implying we're not all here dicking around and wasting time

>>44769723
top kek

>>44773253
Well....
>>44774705
>>44776814
>>44777221
>>44777951
>>44779013
kek

>>44779013
>half-Jewish

what's the other half? Does he really think Jew God is going to let him into heaven for halfway believing?

>>44782179
He thinks Jew is a race..
Lulz

>>44781737
LARPING dragonballz is not the same as being a DM tyrone

>>44759715
>"I'm an alpha nerd, not just any nerd."

He's like some newfag who just found /tg/ and thinks calling everyone normies makes him cool.

>>44768335
I'm browsing on mobile and I still read it you massive faggot

Also you're missing out on a great story

>>44772569
this guy gets it

>>44759715
know a guy who keeps trying to run games like this based on current events. no one ever wants to play...

>>44778691

>rape is bad m'kay?

Not in RPGs it's not.

>>44777143

Fair enough. Had it gotten worse we would have stepped in but it was a good group, the GM was just a retard that one time.

>>44772824
fucking kek'd

Just checked. This is the worst thread on /tg/ right now.