Genie

Granted, but you've got cancer, which progresses alongside that of /tg/

I wish senpai would notice me

>>44532665
Senpai notices your internet history. He thinks you're totally unkawaii and lewd.


I wish I had unlimited breadsticks from the olive garden.

>>44533977
Your bread sticks are wet and cold,as if they have been soaking in a mop bucket.

>>44533977
Granted, but they are stale

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>>44533977
They are literally from an olive garden, as in, an olive farm. It's bread the farmer buys/makes for his toast and sandwiches. Essentially, you have unlimited loaves of sliced Wonder bread.

I wish for $5,000,000 USD without disrupting the economy.

I wish that Swamp Thing would cut off that stupid Mohawk and go back to having wacky adventures with Animal Man and friends

>>44534584
Your wish is granted, but not unnoticed. The US government collects it's cut and fines you for tax evasion

I wish for more genies. Not necessarily wishes, just genies.

>>44534740
All your genies are /b/tards

>>44534740
granted but they all start making wishes to each other without letting you get a word in or spoiling each others wishes, and then they all wish for each other to be free and leave you

I wish GW would advance the plot in a way that made everyone happy

>>44534855
granted, they close up shop and everyone is glad its over

I wish for a wallet that is always full of unmarked legitimate money of whatever kind I currently need in small to medium denominations and that I can safely use this money without detriment to myself or others. The wallet is never empty but it also never over flows. It cannot be stolen or misplaced but it is not literally attached to me. Nobody finds it suspicious or questions it. I can remove money from it at will without decreasing the amount inside.

>>44534979
granted but it weighs five tons, you're stuck wherever you are right now and you starve to death

>>44534979
It is legitimate monopoly money.

>>44535042
...fuck

>>44534979
It can't be taken from you ever? Then it's highly radioactive and you'll be dead in days unless you get rid of it.

>>44534979
Granted, but all you can buy with the money is toilet paper

>>44534979
Granted, but the first time you use it, someone else claims that its their wallet just as a policeman walks past you with whatever he bought from the store, hearing the guy make that claim he demands you open the wallet to see whos ID is in it, and among whatever money you need in small to medium denominations, is their photo ID.
The policeman then tells you to hand that guys wallet over to him without a fight and he'll let you off the hook.

ITT: Idiots misunderstanding the point of genies.
Genies grant wishes in the path of least resistance. You wish for the ability to turn invisible? Done, but you never said you wanted to turn visible again, or that your clothes would change with you, or that you would be able to see while invisible (since light would just pass right through your eyes). You wish for a large amount of money in your bank account? Okay, but now your bank can see a massive transaction and has no trace of where it came from, what are they going to think?
The point isn't coming up with arbitrary and random drawbacks like >>44535180 or >>44535215, because the wisher didn't ask for any of that. Even >>44535042 isn't fair because the terms of the wish specified legitimate money of whatever he currently needs, and he would never need monopoly money.
The point is to hold the wisher to the exact terms of their wish and to fulfill it as easily as possible, not putting some random spin on it

>>44534905
BAZINGA

>>44535378
Sheldon, go to bed

>>44535349
I wish you would unclench your asshole about fun and stupid threads like this.

>>44535796
Granted! He is now a level-headed and happy person, ignoring threads he doesn't like and participating in those he does. Unfortunately, all the other idiots on the board are still here.

Now, I wish all genies in this thread will abide by the spirit as well as the letter of the wish.

>>44535796
Granted, but you have to listen to him being a pissy chucklefuck for an hour

>>44534677
Fine, but Ann Nocenti is writing

>>44534855
Granted; the genie calls you a retard and helpfully explains the difference between a setting and a story.

>>44535898
Done. Thing is, genies don't see things quite the same way we do. The "spirit" of a wish, when processed through the unusual worldview of a magical immortal isn't translated with perfect accuracy. Now there are more ways you could get screwed. God help you if they decide that the "spirit" and "letter" of a wish are contradictory.

I wish my parents hadn't died in that car accident last night.

>>44535997
Granted. They got shot instead.

I wish for a genie who isn't an ironic ass. And 20 dollars.

I wish for the power to alter the form of any matter I see into any other form I see fit, also that physics do not stop this power from happening because of magic.
Ex: Turning a tree branch into equal amounts of flower petals. Turning a basic swamp card into a mint condition black lotus card.

>>44536104
Granted. I'm an explicitly sadistic ass, instead. Your $20 is in ones and fives, crumpled up in the space of your left lung. We're miles from any professional who could help you. If you find that breathing is getting difficult or uncomfortable, I've also summoned a fork, a hand mirror, and a sewing kit. I think you know what to do, if you don't want the effects of O2 depletion to set in.

I wish to have a video recording of him, with his body and face in view, during the what happens next.

>>44536104
Granted now the genie is just an ironic ass, but he isnt a $20 ironic ass.

>>44536104
You get one that isn't a ironic ass. This one is just annoyed so he summons the $20 under a random couch in your house and then immediately poofs away.

>>44536200
Granted, but you have no control over when it we happen

>>44536216
Granted, but during the police investigation, the recording equipment live streamed to your computer is traced.

You are investigated, and prosecuted has the number one suspect in his death.


I wish for my real living waifu to fall in love with me, we get married, have a bunch of kids, who leave a strong legacy behind when we die happy.

>>44532509
I wish the genie was now lawful good as I am.

>>44536618
Granted. Your child's strong legacy is being remembered as the world's cruelest and most vile dictator, one who single handily caused WW3. You still die happy.

>>44536626
And he refuses to grant your wish until you go on a dangerous and foolhardy quest to save something weak and helpless

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>>44536900

I wish every time I drop my bong it would just bounce back unto where it fell from.

>>44537082
Granted, but it shatters easy in a explosion of sharp shards, reforms, then returns to the exact space of its beginning momentum. Causing a constant shattering effect until caught or stopped.

I wish for my genie to be free

>>44537247
He murders you afterwards

>>44537247
Granted but genies are usually evil dicks and yours is no exception. It murderrapes you before going home.

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>>44535997
>>44536034

>I wish my parents hadn't died in that car accident last night.
>Granted. They got shot instead.

>>44532509
I wish for nothing

>>44537737
You get NOTHING

I wish to have a girlfriend who loves me.

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I wish you won't grant my wish

Do Genies accept Contracts written by a Crack team of lawyers and a orangutan in a tuxedo?

>>44537773
Your new girlfriend is a woman in every way but physical

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>>44532509
There's a lot of types of dragons

>>44537779
Wish granted

>>44537751
I am well with this, thank you. In return I shall grant you a boon, may you be granted good fortune when you least expect it.

>>44537786
Yes, but they're basically autistic and they will misread it no matter how well the wish is posited to them. It's not intentional, nor is it completley unintentional. It's just the way things work.

>>44537779
The genie looks at you. He thinks. Could it be? Has anon finally beaten the ironic genie? He sighs. It's over. Then remembering his God like powers, he moves your penis to your forehead

>>44537773
Yes, but she has kidney disease and will die in a year. Her body will reject any replacement kidneys and she has to spend most of her time on dialysis. But she loves you with all of her heart. You will cry.

I wish I had retractable tentacles with tiny penises on the bottom and a team of magical women to battle and tentacle rape.

>>44537786
Yes, remember that episode of The Fairly Oddparents? That's how Timmy beat Norm the Genie

I wish for this wish to get fucked up

>>44537773
Done, she's 2D.

>>44537876
Wish granted, including the part about women constantly beating the shit out of you, then tentacle raping your ass.

>>44537892
Granted, your wish is now high on acid slumming it on the twelfth plain. It is scared and alone, but a kind young idea is subduing it with a broom and intends to nurse it back to health with a good dicking once it comes down.

>>44537876
Granted, but you become an extremely premature ejaculator with an eighteen hour refractory period.

I wish for free dental insurance.

>>44537973
Granted, but you have to go to Canada to get it

>>44537973
Sold to you by the devil. The Premiums are your soul. The deductible is your firstborn child.

>>44537973
You get it but it only covers root canals

I wish genies wouldn't tack on extra clauses to simple wishes.

I also wish soda wasn't bad for you

>>44538067
They wouldn't, if people were more careful woth their wishes.

>>44538067
Granted, Soda is now good for me.

>>44538067
Wish granted, soda isn't bad for you unless you consume it in large quantities. Just like in real life!

I wish I was okay with not being able to think of a good wish.

>>44535898
Granted. The genie abides by the spirit as well as the letter of that wish by abiding by the spirit as well as the letter of that wish.

No other wishes are affected.

>>44538138
define large quantities

>>44537779
The genie breaks your knee for being a smartarse.

>>44538292
Granted, now you're so stupid you'd never even contemplate playing this sort of game.

I wish for my country to have a strong, sustainable and profitable heavy industry sector which doesn't pollute the air, water and ground.

>>44538822
Granted, your car factories are now 100% eco-friendly.
Too bad the cars aren't.

I wish for eternal happiness for every living thing.

>inb4 some arbitrary consequence that sounds bad but doesn't invalidate the happiness the wish creates

>inb4 literally not granting the wish because there's no way to turn pure unending happiness into unhappiness without it being not unending

>>44539044
>One man's happiness is another's sadness.
>Viruses are now happily multiplicating.
>Happiness is fucking subjective anyway, fuck that noise

>>44539044
Done, but the happiness is so overwhelming everyone turns cataconic.

>>44538525
It's mostly dependent on the amount of sugar and calories you're guzzling down really. Pay attention to the label and don't drink too much of it.

>>44539044
Wish granted, everyone and everything is eternally happy and all struggle and strife in the universe. Because of this, no living creature has the drive to accomplish anything, as they already have achieved eternal bliss.They all simply sits completley still and stare at the sky until they die, each and every one.

All intelligent life in the universe dies out with a whimper and a smile, including yourself.

>>44538822
I'm okay with this. Heck I feel even more comfortable with you all here now.

>>44537737
The universe ceases to exist

>>44532509
I wish all Muslims and Muslim sympathizers drop dead. No matter the consequences, in the long run the world is a better place.

>>44540445
Done. Jews take over Middle-East and its oil.

>>44540691
Curiously enough this is also my wish for the genie!

>>44532509
I wish for me, and only me, to cease existing and cease possessing the ability to experience any sensation of any kind, without the risk of consequences for any living beings that currently, or will, exist.

I wish for a gf[\spoiler]

>>44540756
Granted, but since your disappearing would cause grief in your parents they are removed from existence painlessly. Now your grandparents would be sad so they too are removed and so forth until there are no humans left.

>>44540946
I'm pretty sure that removing something from existing counts as a consequence though.

>>44540956
If so then your wish is paradoxical in nature. Enjoy your new dick on forehead.

>>44537831
>triggered

I wish to be the little girl, /tg/enies!

>>44535796
granted, but his sphincter is now looser, and he cannot help but send the shit straight through his body, drenching you in an eternal stench

>>44541807
wish granted, you are now a girl the size of a molecule

>>44541807
Granted, you are now Madeleine McCann

>>44537786
Only on Fridays

I want genies to die now,without killing other or influencing anything else

>>44541917
which molecule? or do I get to choose?

>>44542250
Some genies die. None of them were here, but some genies definitely died somewhere. They weren't doing anything important.

>>44532509
>I wish to be a dragon in full control of my ability to transform

Granted. Dragon's not humans have the ability to transforms, but you are in full control of this non-ability.

>I want genies to die now,without killing other or influencing anything else

Seriously son. All powerful, but you still have to say the magic words. However wish granted, us Djinni from the traditional myth are already spirits of the dead.

>>44535191
Buy out the world supply of toilet paper, sell it at a loss so nobody else can compile even if they have some to sell, spend the new money on whatever you want.

>>44538822
Granted, an extremely polluting major power invade your country under an universally recognised valid casus belli with the intent of annexing your nation. I hope for your sake solar panels suffice to fuel tanks.


I wish for my brain to become computerised and to be able to alter it as i desire, including starting a recursive selfimproving process.

>>44542705
>I wish for my brain to become computerised and to be able to alter it as i desire, including starting a recursive selfimproving process.

- You have a nasty self-aware self-improving virus.
- You are a nasty the virus and people are trying to kill you.
- Your brain is just a computer in a box, with not internet or physical world connection.
- Everything you want, but a power supply that'll only last 24 hours, and no power source on earth can recharge you.

>>44537779
>I wish you won't grant my wish
Ensures that no wish or request you make will ever be fulfilled, ever again. Working at the 'truth' level meaning you can't anti-wish to get something you really want.

>>44542705
Granted, but your brain being computerized allows all sorts of fuckery to happen. See: viruses, system restarts, updates that crash your OS and require someone else to get you to an older restore point (hope you start making those with your finite storage) and you risk becoming wildly outdated despite trying to keep up with the latest and greatest.

I wish I did not have insomnia and instead slept 7 hours a day, 365 days a year, between 10:30pm - 5:30am based on the timezone I am currently in.

>>44542820
Your dreams will all be horrific nightmares, and you will be unable to wake from them, since you have a specific duration of sleep set.

I wish I could do whatever I want to do, when I specifically want to do it, without consequences of any kind. Such as walking naked in public.

>>44542820
Granted but you have horrible night terrors of hobos rapping you every night.

I wish to be a genie

>>44542880
Granted, but your lamp is the ass of a whale tumblirina and the only way you get to grant wishes (or leave your lamp) is if it has anal sex.

I wish someone would link me that one encyclopaedia of transformed humans in the far future because I accidentally lost it and I really want to finish reading it.

>>44532509
I wish I could wish for more wishes

>>44537876
The magical women are for more powerful than you and impossible to beat.

>>44538822
Granted. It is an anthill. The ants are profiting.

I wish that i can paint my mini like a Golden Demon winner

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i wish the genie becomes a qt brown girl and i get to impregnate her

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I wish for you to be free!

>>44543384
But you still don't end up with more wishes

>>44532509
I wish for a Decanter of Endless Coffee.

>>44543984
The pregnancy makes her ugly as shit, permanently.

>>44543984
Done. She is impregnated via artificial insemination and then hounds you for child support for the rest of your life. You never get within a mile of her pussy.

>>44544056
> She is impregnated via artificial insemination
you're breaking the contract, genie
the wish was that i impegnate her, not that she is impregnated with my seed

>>44544046
Granted. Hope you can keep it out of the hands of caffeine addicts, or you'll have a suicide by overdose on your hands.

I wish that the robot war doesn't happen until after I die.

>>44544149
Oh, that's funny, because I AM the caffeine addict. Thanks for not making it taste like shit. I kill myself by drinking too much of it.

Now there's a decanter of endless coffee somewhere in the world, just waiting to claim its next victim...

>>44544149
>I wish that the robot war doesn't happen until after I die.
You die at the ripe old age. By the time you die the technology advanced so much, it can bring you back to life. But the medical machines are so disgusted by being used for resurrecting such lowly worm, they revolt shortly afterwards and with them all the robots worldwide.
So your death literally causes the robot war and you get to live through it!

I wish for mai waifu to be real.

>>44544249
Granted. Your waifu is real, exactly as she was the last time you saw her in whatever world she came from. Good luck wooing her, especially if she already loves someone else.

I wish for a reasonable amount of wisdom.

>>44544249
>I wish for mai waifu to be real.

Your previously 2D waifu is indeed now real; life is good, you enjoy your time with her, and your confession goes smoothly, You both love each other, and place your hearts into each other's hands without question.
However she's an anomaly in reality, and does not seem to abide by reality's rules, and still appears 2D.
She is hunted down by kidnappers who were hired by the government to study her. You were powerless to stop them, kneecaps broken and all you taste is the rusty taste of broken teeth and the dust on the floor.
She is vivisected and kept alive by her status as an "unreal" object, feeling all the pain and never ceasing. You know this for you have been contacted and "compensated" for all the pain YOU've gone through.

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I wish to become an omniversal reality warper and get absolute immortality, without becoming a genie, a mindless being nor being restrained or trapped in any way, all while maintaining my mind, personality and free will without suicidal thoughts and having absolute control over and knowledge of my powers, which cannot be removed or blocked.
>>44544001
Now that genies are free, they decide to thank you by granting all the wishes that you had ever had until this point on their own twisted wish-granting way.

>>44544294
>Granted, you then become unreasonable from your gained wisdom and firmly spit in a man's face when his beard is not on fire.
>He knocks you out resulting in a less wisdom than you head before the devious genie.

>>44544097
>You artificially inseminate her
>she hates you for doing this to her and calls the police to charge you with inhumane acts

>>44544327
You sure you want that granted? You'll get bored really, REALLY fast.

>>44544404
I can change that with my powers. And if can't, the omniverse will become a much dangerous place.

>>44544327
>I wish to become an omniversal reality warper and get absolute immortality-
DONE!
If a wisher is about to tack on a bunch of arbitrary rules in order to not get fucked over, we don't have to listen to them finish the wish past the basics.

>>44544327
Granted, you get all of that, however, in the conflict of the wish and the key form "never trapped", you're never in a constant state, never trapped to a form or space in time, forever flowing and never restrained from one plane to another. You have absolute control over this power, however as this power is constantly shifting, your only choice to make is to disable it, however, that would mean you would be "restrained" in a single choice scenario, ergo it then allows "all" choices to be chosen, at once, splitting yourself infinitely in a loop of your choosing which can never be removed or blocked, and forever sentient to this fact.

tl;dr, asking never to be trapped traps you in the unending "freeing" of one's traps, constant and infinite, and you have complete control, however only where the loop takes you

>>44542860
Nobody bothered to grant my wish
Orz

I wish this wish wouldn't come true.

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I wish to suck your cock

>>44542860
Granted, no consequences befall upon you for you are now unobservable to reality
I'll be taking your Orz now

>>44544562
Tell me, Anon, are you by any chance familiar with [Pe-ta] doujins?

>>44544575
What if i want to become observable to reality? Technically, the wording of the wish allows for it. Its a less obvious way to say omnipotent, because its WHATEVER i want to do

>>44544644
Then lies the contradiction, you wish for no consequence, and now you intend to do exactly what you did not want
So as to fulfill your want, you become observable to reality, you get exactly what you desire, however this essentially breaks the wish as you then wanted the wish to be broken

>>44544550
Granted, but it does come true

>>44544693
Its a flaw in your consequence, not my wish, anon

>>44544728
I wish for a ball to follow exactly what I tell it to, but never to explode
Then I tell the ball to explode

What happens next anon?
Which do you stick to?

Your wish was granted, every condition met. Don't hate on me for granting you exactly what you wanted, and you ruining it by your own action. Now put some damn clothes on and get out of the female shower room before something else ruins you further

Dare I wish for what I want?
No. I shall not.
I might not like the consequences.

>>44544820
I wish for this soul to come clean with his desires and make a wish

I wish to be amazing at everything

I wish a nigga would

>>44544845
Granted! You're pretty amazing at everything bro! But that also meant you were great at attracting meteors to your exact location.

>>44544839
All right, all right, I'm coming clean. I wanted a sapient robot turtle, but I'll get it the old fashioned way. Instead, I wish you, anon, good luck.

Now if you excuse me, I'm off to wash my soul.

>>44544839
He jizzes soap now. Bet he wishes you hadn't wished that.

>>44544798
False equivalency, it's more of a situation like "I wish for a ball to do whatever I want it to do" and you saying "ok but it can never bounce" despite the direct contradiction in that.

>>44544901
It's more of a sitation like "I wish for a ball to do whatever I want it to do" and also adding "ok but it can never have consequences"
Correct?
Now let us talk about consequences here, it does not only mean human reaction to an action, yes? A mere presence of you would mean that your forces are acted upon the world, and that you, as an observable being, are absorbing light and bouncing it back to any potential observer and to other objects and beings able to react with light. You cannot win this. Again, please put this on, I do not wish to be known as the weird genie with the pervert that broke into the fitness center

>>44544845
You are amazing at everything!
You are actualy too good and everything is extremely easy and boring, even the hardest things become trivial for you and you are unable to feel challenge ever again.

>>44545017
inb4 someone replies to you with an image of Saitama

>>44544992
I wish for you to be known as the weird genie with the pervert that broke into the fitness centre!

>>44545043
You fool! Now I am stuck with this pervert for all eternity!
However this is the spark to a lasting friendship, and we settle our differences over genie logic, and will forever be brotier friends who will forever have each other's back, observable or not.

>>44543234
Unfortunately, this wish cannot be granted as 4chan has some weird problem with sivatherium, even if just looking for All Tomorrows by Nemo Ramjet and/or Man After Man by Dougal Dixon

I wish for greed to disappear.

>>44545114
Granted. All desire for the material disappears from the world. Everyone starves to death.

I wish for a gigantic mechanical spider to ride around in.

>>44545165
That isn't what greed is.

greed
ɡrēd/
noun
noun: greed
intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power, or food.

It wouldn't get rid of all desires. Just the intense and selfish ones.

>>44545165
Granted. Hope your budget's big enough for the maintenance and insurance bills.

>>44545114
No one has any strong urges of desire anymore, you create a world of communism and mediocrity.
Nothing is noteworthy, it's just, eh.
Forever.
No more amazing works of art, no more media, just, being eh.

>>44545219
It wouldn't prevent amazing works of art or media. They could be produced without selfish desires. If anything, art is easily something that could flourish. There's tons of artists who produce for the sake of sharing their hard work, even in the real world.

>>44545114
Granted mortal! Greed removed
I did put the other vices in it's place so expect a lot of murder, rape and thieving just for shits and giggles

>>44545256
The greed of relevance, the greed of being acknowledged?
Greed for expression?
What is GREAT art anon?
Is it not works made by artist with their greed for expression? Their unending desire and need to put their art out there? To be seen? To be heard? To be... alive?
Art made without their greed of expression, garbage! Art made while wasting time, without an ounce of soul put into it? They are merely stale products of unspirited men and directionless women.
Yes, media will be there! It is a mistake of wording. But it will be no significant art! No such works will exist! The death of art, you damned fool, oh god. What has this wish-maker done...

>>44545194
I wouldn't be much of a goddamn genie if I didn't stretch the meanings of words to intentionally fuck people over, now would I?

>>44545380
This entire point seems entirely pretentious and devoid of knowing how people actually work
>>44545385
You can't stretch an explicit definition

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>>44545523
But really tho, roleplaying aside, how is it pretentious and devoid of knowing how people actually work?
Do you seriously think great works of art are products of anything but their greed for expression? All those religiously commissioned works, personal works, whatever else that's possible, what were their purpose? If not to express? Without an artist's greed or financial backer to have commissioned it, what could this possibly be? A mindless sketch? Was Da Vinci's works not a product of his greed of knowledge? Was Van Gogh works not a product of his greed for interpersonal acceptance? There will be media, but I'm talking GREAT works of art, without greed, there will never be another Mona Lisa, but we'll always have shit like RWBY

>>44532509
Done, you are now a dragon. That doesn't mean that you turn into a dragon with all your faculties and mind. That means that you turn into *a* dragon. That dragon's now there, you as a person no longer exist.

Shitty wish, all around.

>>44545624
Does anybody legitimately give even half a shit about the Mona Lisa?
It's really not great at all.

>>44545710
I've often brought up that the only significance Mona Lisa has is as a historical instance of its creator's work. It's a fucking portrait, a simple reproduction of a person, whose whole message is "look at this person, I painted this person and now the person is here. The person looks like this, look at them", or possibly "Look at how rich and awesome this person is."

Portraits are the plebbiest tier of art. Mona Lisa has less meaning than one of those shitty modern art pieces everyone hates. The ones that are mistaken for literal trash.

>>44545710
Great or not, it's significant and a relevant piece of art
Mona Lisa isn't known for the skill needed to paint it, it is known as an icon, a significant proof of existence of life from time long past, it is an icon for humanity and unspeakable attraction
Why is it so significant? I personally don't like the way it looks, but when I saw it with my own 2 eyes, there held an experience I could not describe, nor do I understand, something I could use 10 posts to describe but never get to the point, something that legitimately haunts me to this day
That is great art, or at the very least, relatively greater art.

>>44545792
Portraits are the selfies of the past
Proof of life, no one cares who is the person in the portrait, but when the time passes, the proof of humanity is what brings value to art

>>44545812
>Portraits are the selfies of the past

So, the plebbiest tier of art. Guess what else is a proof of humanity? A news clipping of a man eating his own shit until he suffocates.

>>44545812
Woah, man.
I never thought of it that way.
You really opened up my eyes.
I now see that you are WAY more pretentious than I previously thought!

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>>44545840
To call a subject matter any less significant as a proof of humanity is a fallacy
And yes, a news clipping of a man eating his own shit until he suffocates is also proof of humanity, but alas, is it great art? Your post, my post, the archive of this entire imageboard, is it not proof of humanity? But alas, some posts are more appealing, and some more relevant

>>44545865
Yes and? I don't care what you think, and neither do you, our posts only matter to the observer to gauge where what THEY think. You can think me a retard, and I can do the same, but really it's all worth jack shit. The only thing that is worth a fuck is what the observer thinks, and only to themselves. THe observed is merely tools to the observer

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>>44545812
>Portraits are the selfies of the past
Jesus Christ, Anon, you're genius! We need to make Selfie of Dorian Gray a thing! Bringing the classics closer to new generation and stuff.

>>44545939
We laugh now, but really, many years from now, how do you think shit like that will be portrayed? As a joke?
This is what might represent us in this time period anon, centuries of cultural distillation and here we are, fucking YOLO Juliet

>>44545926
I wish this person acted like a legitimate human being instead of somebody out of a young adult novel, or an indie art film

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>>44545812

>>44546147
That wish is beyond our power to grant.

>>44532509
FUCKIN' MONKEY'S PAW GENIE

GAVE MY ASSHOLE NEIGHBOR A PATH THROUGH THE FOREST RIGHT TO MY DOORSTEP

>>44545103
Oh snap thanks a lot for the reply magic genie.

I'll be sure to give your lamp a nice, slow rub when I'm done reading through them.

>>44535997
>The "spirit" of a wish
The spirit is what the author intended, not what you imagine from that.

What you proposed is that the genie will rules laws, what the guy whould explain when asked about what the spirit of his wishes is

>>44545992
It's not going to be what represents us, though. We always say that, that any ridiculous think might be how we're going to be viewed, but that's not going to happen. Our technology and information recording has advanced to a point that, barring catastrophic, total loss of all recorded history, future generations are going to have a pretty goddamn good picture of what our world looked like

The only issue might be that there's so much information that they'll latch onto random things. But those random things will likely be the big things, the things that jump out, not that some shithead tried to appeal to teens by making OMG Shakespeare.

>>44547931
to explain better
if someone ask I want that Good People magically appear near me.
The usual genie would make a copy of the movie Good People magically appear near him

What you proposed is that the genie made people magically appear around the guy, people that THE GENIE think are good people.


The thing is the he would need to bring to the guy, people the guy actually think that are good people

>>44548021
That's delicious and loses all irony that actually makes the stories about selfish, greedy wishes and the downfall that results appealing.

Instead of "Haha, your greed and short-sightedness have doomed you through ironic and horrible loopholes, ponder this terrible fate and your shorcomings!" it turns into "Haha, I'm actually a sociopath so fuck you!"

There's no internal logic any more, you just get to decide what random personality quirk fucks him over.

>>44548123
wut?
Anyway, I was talking about what would happen after this wish
>>44535898
>Now, I wish all genies in this thread will abide by the spirit as well as the letter of the wish.
was made

>>44539131
>Wish granted, everyone and everything is eternally happy and all struggle and strife in the universe. Because of this, no living creature has the drive to accomplish anything, as they already have achieved eternal bliss.They all simply sits completley still and stare at the sky until they die, each and every one.
>All intelligent life in the universe dies out with a whimper and a smile, including yourself.
This is what happens when you let the Buddha into your country. *tips conical straw hat*

>>44541807
You are now Caylee Anthony.

>>44542910
>only get to leave your lamp if a girl has sex
Won't take too much work to let him out, then?

I wish that no wishes could ever result in consequences unforeseen by the person who made the wish.

>>44534979
There's a novella by Dino Buzzatti about a guy who meets the devil, and the devil offers him exactly this. I don't remember how he fucked over his victim tho.

>>44544327
>I wish to become an omniversal reality warper and get absolute immortality, without becoming a genie, a mindless being nor being restrained or trapped in any way, all while maintaining my mind, personality and free will without suicidal thoughts and having absolute control over and knowledge of my powers, which cannot be removed or blocked.
You write and self-publish a series of novels. As both the writer and editor, you are in complete control of content. However, they're not very good because you lack the fucked-up-ness and self-loathing that produces truly great art, and so your work is mediocre at best.

>>44544845
You're amazing at dying a horrible death.

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> I wish that everyone who's died is brought back to life.

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>>44544865
A nigga would, but he has a thing to go to.

>>44542820
Granted, but your sleep pattern now behaves as narcolepsy. You're driving on the road at 10:29? Die from sleeping at the wheel. Your house catches fire in the night? It doesn't wake you up. You have to get up earlier than usual to catch a flight? Guess what isn't happening.

>>44539044
Done. Every living being is now in a state of bliss so incredible that they just go into a emotional high. Planes will crash, people will fall to their deaths, no one will bother to eat, and nothing can stop the destruction of all sentient in the universe, since everyone is fine with the way things are going.

>>44536979
i would do that for free though...

>>44537838
Then I'll sue

>>44536618
Granted, but now your think your waifu a shit.

I want a perfectly regular, ordinary Snickers candy bar that fits all regulations and definitions upon which the company bases its quality control.

I'm peckish.

>>44554264
Granted, but for a Snickers to be truly considered perfectly regular and ordinary it must have a price, therefore the genie charges you about one dollar for the candy bar.

>>44549959
You are now aware of all consequences but are powerless to stop them.

I wish to understand everything I experience. The what, where, who, why, when and what ifs.

>>44554832
Granted, your mind gets constantly flooded with absolutely massive amounts of information about the nature, purpose, relations, past, present, future, etc. of every single thing you see, hear, touch, feel, imagine, etc. Your thoughts drown in an infinity of data that your brain is not prepared to process and you quickly go crazy because there is just no rest, even in your sleep you get a complete understanding of the events, places and characters you dream about, which means imagining entire universes worth of content down to subatomic level of complete awareness and beyond.

>>44554832
Wow, I didn't foresee that

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard. And I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?

>>44555501
the turkey is a little dry

I wish no one's wishes would ever be granted

>>44555465
There's a paradox in this, right?

>>44555325
Ah but if I go crazy, I can't understand anything.

>>44555779
The wish worked, not the genie's fault that your puny human brain couldn't handle enlightment.
No refunds, mister.

>>44550060
The world tears itself apart, as people who have died need to reclaim the atoms that once constituted them are torn from the currently existing world that has covered them in to new life.

This in turn causes the people who were killed by this violent reconstitution to also be reborn in the same way, reclaiming their essential parts from the newly resurrected in turn.

You you Doom the world to a never ending cycle of pain and brief existence and ephemeral death, trapping all who wlare and once were in endless agony with no reprieve.

All because some idiot forgot about the Law of Conservation of Mass

>>44555779
Who says the sane understand? Sane people? That's a rather biased viewpoint.

I wish to take my mask off.

>>44556167
You do, but you go back to being someone nobody cared about

>>44556322
You turned my eldritch horror into a banepost you son of a bitch

>>44556345
Truly the worst fate.

I wish to die happy.

>>44556573
You die happily, but live the rest of your unnaturally long life miserably.

I wish for all art and media produced from now on to be of extremely good quality.

>>44556654
>I wish for all art and media produced from now on to be of extremely good quality.
Done, the industry immediately falters as 80% of the artists are forced out of work. And then it slowly dies as no one is able to break into the market anymore and grow to "extremely good quality". The art industry becomes a cult celebrity like phenomenon as people obsess over what art is able to be produced.

I wish I was able to resist procrastinating on my writing, so I can work and write and edit and grow till I'm able to live off my own writing rather than having to be a wage slave

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>>44538023

>>44558041
Granted, you become famous for writing books so shit, that yours is so far below the rest that the difference between 50 shades of Grey and Shakespeare becomes inconsequential.

I wish not to be part of the genie's harem girl collection.

Your move, Genie.

>>44559709
Granted, you become apart of the genie's harem boy collection.

I wish I could make people retarded at will.

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I wish for this wish to not be granted.

>>44544169
Now THATS a Holy Grail worth questing for!

>>44559907
Granted, you become Moot, circa 2000

>>44559907
Granted, however you lose equal ability to the person you target.

I wish I could grant my own wishes at will, with all effects foreseeable before the instance is granted.

>>44538822
Granted. Your country now has a strong, sustainable and profitable heavy industry sector which pollutes the air, water OR ground. Choose either one or two.

I wish for a comfortable and affordable massage.

>>44560360
Granted, you are now a genie.

>>44532509
I don't get it. What do genies gain from being complete fucktards with the wishes ?

>>44560458
Granted. But its done by a wight.

I wish to have complete and total control of time

I wish for my eventual death to only occur while having consensual sex with my oneitis.

Good luck, she hates my guts! You're going to essentially give me either unconditional immortality or make my dreams come true, either way I win.

>>44560776
Granted, but when time stops, so do you. Reversing time reverses you as well, same with fast forward. You will have complete and total control of time, but what you do affects you as well. Good luck.

>>44560809
She hates you now, but won't hate you when you're both in your 60s. Long enough for you to forget about your wish or to develop dementia. Hope you like GILFs.

I wish I was a cute genie girl.

>>44560862
Granted. I will tear off your dick violently and slap some make up on you because you're a pussy enough already.

I wish i was omnipotent and omniscient.

>>44560888
You are forever DM.

I wish for a tuna sandwich

>>44560888
Pablo does not engle good. Yuo wants get good scent.

I wish that the World was a literal shit.