Random Encounter Theatre

>>43886609
*joust

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THEN LET US DO BATTLE

>>43886609
>She demands you
Uh... like... for a night? Pretty sure that will kill you...

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Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>43886609

I roll to save versus HNNNNGH!

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>>43887058

...Huh. Apparently, I'm a soulless prick. Then again, not that big of a surprise, considering where I browse.

Man, I probably just walk past her and ignore her altogether too, losing out on a trivial but amusing little side quest.

Worst 20 I've ever rolled.

>>43886609
I whip out my dick
> Here is my lance brave knight

>>43886609
i pick her up and peel off her clothing before putting her in my mouth

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>43887084
She shoves her needle down your dick.

Roll for fetish.

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>>43886609
I decline because it would not be honorable to properly do so against an opponent of such stature. I then bring her along on my travels and have cute but wacky adventures.

>>43886609
I cast Enlarge and recruit her into my party.

Because that hamster is obviously a Miniature Giant Space Hamster.

>>43886609
I accept the terms and throw the joust. I honor her victory and prepare to commit seppukku due to no longer being able to pass the bridge and finish my quest. I leave all my wordly possessions to her.

>>43886609
I inquire why she protects such a bridge, and if she is agreeable to an alternative solution. Such a brave (or naive ) individual would be worthy company..

>>43886609
>But ma'am, I have no lance! Surely you would not fight an uneven battle?
>But ma'am, I have no helm! Surely you would not fight an uneven battle?
>But ma'am, I have no steed! Surely you would not fight an uneven battle?

>Oh, but ma'am, now you have none of these things! How can I fight an uneven battle with you?

And so our friendship begins.

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>>43886609
WHAT A MAGNIFICENT BEAST

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>>43887191
>I decline because it would not be honorable to properly do so against an opponent of such stature.

Just because you're a big guy for her doesn't mean she can't be in charge here.

>>43886609
Pick her up.

Put her in my pocket.

Feed her berries if she objects.

I capture her and put her in a hamster/lizard tank at home. I also put a smartphone in there with Netflix and HBO GO.

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>>43886609
Very well, let us do battle!

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>>43886609

Rrecognizing the HONOR and DETERMINATION of the inchling I am bound to accept this challenge.

I then don my armored glove, kneel and extend my pointer finger. If the Inchling questions my action I tell her that where I'm from jousting with one's finger is the highest display of strength and honor.

I thien do battle and poke her off of her mighty hampster steed. I then ask her to join me on my quest and she becomes my personal body guard once I've established my own kingdom.

>>43889993

Also, I suppose I cross class and learn martial arts from my Monk companion as well because I have to maintain the lie about finger jousting.

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>>43886609
I shrink myself with the shrinking ray gun of last session and shake her hand "I accept your challenge, my fair lady."

I then grab a nearby pencil, ask my teammate to relinquish his beetle-spy-robot to use as my steed and the jousting will begin.

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>>43889993
>yfw when she's level 20
>yfw when the size modifiers are not enough to compensate for this

>>43886609
Roll to see if I can kick her off the side.

>>43890344
Forgot your dice anon.

>>43888451
That's oddly adorable.

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>>43886609

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VERY WELL! I, SIR HECTORIAN ALFRENSE DIDYMUS, KNIGHT OF THE BRIDGE, DEFENDER OF THE SACRED BOG, ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE! COME AMBROSIUS MY MIGHTY STEED, LET US SALLY FORTH, HAHA!

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>>43891098

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>43886609

Rolling for well I do in the joust

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>>43891123

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>>43891152
>>43891154

welp

>>43891154
>>43891123
>>43891098
>>43891173
gonna need some context on this

>>43891180
I don't remember the name but it was that film with David Bowie in it.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>43891152

Huh

Roll to see if I lost with honor and dignity

>>43891180
Labryenth
A fun Jim Henson fantasy about a cunt of a girl with David Bowe as the Goblin king

>>43891216

Labyrinth

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>>43891180
>>43891216
>>43891240
>>43891255
Labyrinth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLNJVhKNEMI

>>43887047
intercrural might be manageable

>>43891255
>>43891240
...i think that's one that i tried watching and gave up on cause the intro annoyed me

>>43891224

I am truly a honorable knight

I roll to woo the Inchling

>>43891240
>david bowie as the goblin king.
Something like this exists and I never found out? I am ashamed of myself.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>43891312

I can't believe I forgot the roll

>>43891322
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4gABvUhhkg

Should be watched at least once. Preferrably while playing "count how many times David Bowie flashes his bulge"

This movie basically gave a lot of 13 yr old girls their first schlick from what i've been told by my femanon friends.

>>43891332
With a roll like that, it's probably for the best, anon.

>>43891354
Dammit David no other man can possibly be so awesome, how do you even.

>>43891439
That depends on the modifiers though. And if the inchling is interested or not.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>43891439

Yeah

Roll for friendship

>>43892134
given that your cock is (probably) bigger than her, its probably not got good modifiers

>>43892167
How do you know if she doesn't have a kink like that, though?

Also I have a shrink gun, so that's not an issue.

>>43892154
When you get 18+ for friendship and there's compatible preferences, you may also roll for benefits... that one goes with -3 for species and size difference.

>>43892206
sounding and fisting together... well i wouldn't say no

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>43892208

Benefits huh?

>>43892315

11?

So if i mess up no more benefits?

>>43888950
Was questing to save the realm part of your plan?!

Eat girl, fuck hamster, ride pizza.