So my Dungeon Master, through several strange events, replaced

Did he replace your little brother with an Iron Golem, too?

>>43886352
No, but he replaced my Paladin buddy's arm with a Balor arm that's going to slowly change his alignment.

I also thought about enchanting it with something like that, but I'm a 2h fighter

>>43886338
sounds like he may have an amputation fetish

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>>43886338
Put a gun in it.

>>43886381
>No, but he replaced my Paladin buddy's arm with a Balor arm that's going to slowly change his alignment.
Shit DM detected.

hit him over the head with a tire iron for being a shit dm

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>>43886338
Go full Berserk with it, repeater crossbow

>>43886772
>>43886761
It isn't so much that he's a shit DM, more that the wizard he was portraying was an annoying shit. He replaced my arm with an extremely rare metal because my characters a blacksmith who has an extreme phobia of insects, and he thought it was hilarious for a paladin to have the arm of a demon. He also replaced the pally's tongue with a tree ent tongue for some reason the pally hasn't explained yet.

I feel it's also relevant that the guy was planning to murder/marry our teifling because he thought her tail was flirting with him.. My DM had way to much fun playing that guy..

>>43886929
i'm going Eldritch Knight (5e) so I'm somewhat covered for range

>>43887247
>the DM has a DMPC

How about replacing the DM's head with the Head of Vecna?

>>43887247
That does sound like a shit DM.

>>43886381
Did he decide to replace the paladins arm on his own or with the players okay?

>>43887392
Where'd it say he was a DMPC?

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>>43886338
>replaced my Human Fighter's right arm with one made of Black Adamantine
>replaced my leg with an Umber Hulk leg

Those are some pretty good upgrades. They must have cost you an arm and a leg

>>43887426
Meh, so long as I'm enjoying myself he can be as shitty as he likes.

>>43887436
On his own. He and the paladin played together since they were in highschool, and this Paladin is the ancestor of his previous character. His family was dishonored because of the previous character chose to save his companions at the cost of a weapon gifted to him by his god. The new character wants nothing more than to restore the honor to his family, though I think now the DM is planning to through a bone into that.

>>43887505
Fucking with your players in that way without their consent doesn't really sound fun to me. If I was the Paladin I would've quit the game already.

Sounds like your DM is a sadist.

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>>43886338
This is the perfect excuse.

Make sure you can call it back after launching though, and practice with using a dagger or something in your left hand while it's flying.

>>43887472
>It isn't so much that he's a shit DM, more that the wizard he was portraying was an annoying shit.
>DM
>the wizard he was portraying

That's the hint.

>>43887549
Every NPC is portrayed by the DM. That's kind of his job.

>>43887505
>Meh, so long as I'm enjoying myself he can be as shitty as he likes.
Stockholm syndrome is one hell of a drug

Shit DM detected.

Holy shit.