Penal Regiment /tg/: Frags First into Heresy Edition

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just one more

Alright, you heard the ensign! Move in, guardsmen!

>>43677471
>stops running, having been left behind by Rog
Shit. Stupid to think I could keep up with an Ogryn.
>looks around to see if he's alone

>>43677542
He gonna get shrekt harder than....um...the guy that got shrekt the hardest ever.

Wait, shit, were going into the bunker now?

>>43677595
Not to worry, I am here. Stay close, for the parasite gods are insidious, and persistent.

>>43677627
Should I go look for Rog? I mean, he can probably take care of himself, but what if something happens to him?

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>>43677542
>Picture title

>>43677643
We should find him. I'll slave this servo-skull to your eyepiece so that you may see in the dark.

>it's a floating scarab painted white

>>43677643
Don't worry I am here.

Let's get own dere and find the fing.

>>43677582
>slips her Null Necklace on and steps closer to Nyzart.

>whispered softly
Keep an eye on Ron and...Rog I believe it was. They're both entirely too enthusiastic about this for my liking.

>>43677595
Can't Dog the Rog.

>>43677663
>>43677666
Oh, good. For a minute there I was scared I wouldn't have an Ogryn backing me up.

Can I keep the Servo? I might need it later.

>Silently Grins beneath the helmet as the guardsmen go in.

Might your False Emperor's Grace be with you.

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>>43677471
I have less than no Idea whats going on or where we are.

>>43677768
No worries. Just slip on this medallion and you should be fine. Are those ears... a standard mutation in your system?

The temple is a small maze of columns, all holding the place together. Some statues of the Thousand Sons are covered entirely by dust in various corners, if one is to keep track of all of them it makes about 5.

A sixth one, holds between its palms the so called artifact by the end of the maze.

Going to sleep now, good luck. Assume Fanner's just following along. Emperor protects.

>>43677796
These statoos look off, I dun like 'em. Can I smash 'em?

>>43677791
Felinid are a recognized Abhuman Race. But no, My mother got around. The deathworld I'm from doesn't have any other Felinids.
Medallion? Are we Khayoss now?

>>43677796
>stares at the artifact, conflicted, and whispers to himself
I'm gonna do it. They aren't gonna understand, and are probably gonna shoot me, but if I make it, I'll have a shot.

>>43677796

I got a baaaaad feeling about this.

>slowly approaches the statue, prepared to roll to cover, weapon out

Out the way guardsman

>>43677768
You know the Depot you all cleared that happened to have Tyranids in it? Well Cultists slipped in and this time they have Rubric's with them. Grab some Krak Grenades and extra charge packs.

Oh and Arthur is busy in the air so you're stuck with me to make Tea.

>>43677870
> whispers to wellsley
Prepare the activator. I like not the look on that guardsman's eye.

>>43677850
That depends on your perspective of things, we're currently working together after all. Might I recommend you not putting the medallion on?

>>43677870
>>43677905
>Levels his gun, and rips off his medallion
Get away from it. I need that.

>>43677852
Wot you sayin' little man, I can't hear you well if you talk all kwiet like dat.

Nobody touch anything! You trying to get us all killed?!

>raises her Bolter to cover the statues.

>>43677875
Like uh, The spess muhreens?
>>43677906
>annoyed earflicks
>>43677931
Probably.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>43677917
OI! PUT DAT MEDALON BACK ON YOU IDOT!

IT'S BAD TA TAKE IT ORF!!

>Tries to grab Ron

>>43677828

Probably a bad idea
>>43677917

Turns his gun towards the guardsman

ROG SMASH HIS ASS! HE'S AN ENEMY OF THE EMPEROR!

>>43677905
>whispers back to Nyzart
You mean the one with the....okay, I got you.

>lowers her left hand to her belt and fetches the device.

Lost your name btw.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>43677931
>>43677938
>>43677943
>grabs the medallion and bolts, firing wildy
I'm so sorry, but you have to let me do this!

You can see a cyan light at the statues' eyes flickering into life, soon the Rubric Marines take off the dust that covered them and aim towards the guardsmen

>>43677968
I meant artifact, whoops

>>43677917
> raises both hands in a mediatory fashion

Guardsman, think about this! The parasite gods promise power, but they lead only to destruction!

>whispers to him

My race trusted so-called "gods" once. Now look at what we've become!

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>43677968
>Rolling to trip him

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>43677968

>dodges to cover behind a statue

I'm pinned down here!

>they come to life

well, shit.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>43677968
KILL HIM! IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME!

>fires off a trio of bolts at Ron.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>43677968
The Bullgryn's hand misses the Guardsman by a fair gap, snarling to himself Rog grabs one of the statues and throws it after Ron.

"GIT BACK 'ERE YOU HAIRY-TICK!"

>Throwing a statue at Ron

>>43677968
Quick! I've made you invisible to the Rubric Marines' eyes for a short time, bring the artifact to the altar!

>>43677965
whoops, switched from desktop to mobile, must've lost it there.

>>43677998
>>43678015
>>43678024
Well Ron just got fucking De_Stroyed harder than the Dust2 Janitors.

>>43678055
I threw him on the GROUND

Rolled 12 (1d20)

The Rubric Marines aim their bolters towards the closest target each, utterly igbiring Ron and begin firing

>>43677998
>>43678015
>>43678024
>falls down, talking a couple shots and a statue to the back
Shit, shit SHIT!
>>43678030
>screams out to the Sorcerer
MAKE ME INVISIBLE TO THE OTHERS DAMN IT
>limps away

>>43677471

Guardsman Tucker from the imperial's finest reporting in sir

Ensign, Ive finally found you, lieutenant Jacquobes reassigned our squad to your command a week ago, The whole squad died or deserted trying to reach you but by emperor I was determined to find you.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>Levels his "special" (necron) weapon at the nearby marine and unloads at point blank range
before running behind a column

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

>trow krak grenades at rubrics
Eat boom bombs you freaks!

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>43678068
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ if anyone didn't get it
>>43678074
I don't even know why were trying to murder you, But by popular opinion I should probably shoot you.
>Shoots you
>Maybe some bonus for that 20, Don' care

>>43678090
>Kaht confirmed CQC Master, Rookie Tier at firearms

>>43678090
Thats a pretty piss poor throw there love.

>>43678074
You think it's easy to keep the thousand sons from firing at you and then defend you from the other mortals? I dare you try it then!

Worry not, once you reach the altar it will open a warp rift to take the artifact, you can easily fit in. Besides, I can close the secret door behind you.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>43678114
>stumbles out of the room, taking a glancing shot from Kaht
Where the WARP is that FUCKING altar?!
>looks around

>Charges after Ron

STOP YA HAIRY TICK SO I CAN GET YA TO A COOMISIR!"

>>43678107
I forgot to adjust the sights, its a new gun.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>43678072
>>43678074

>dives for the nearest piece of cover.

Corporal! Kill that Heretic, rest of you take cover and return fire!


Techpriest! Should I hit it?!

>>43678083
SHOOT THE DAMNED CHAOS MARINES

>>43678124
Right there! At the Arcanum's doorway!

>>43678124
Some freaky voice told me last night, that it was in the arcanum place thingy

>>43678150
>wonders what the people in the OTHER ROOM are yelling about and shooting at

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>43678072
>>43678085

>collapses behind pillar with a leg mangled by the bolter, aims for another one with the necron superkillgun

Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d6)

>>43678159
>Plants explosive charge

>>43678150
Wait until the traitor does something with the artifact! There might be an altar, or a shrine of some sort!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

Three rubric marines fall dead by the party's gun fire, the rest answer back with more bolter fire

>>43678182
Get down you slugs!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>Hearing shouting from the room behond hom Rog stops running and turns around.

FRIENDS NEED HELP! ROG IS COMING!

>Chrging into the room and smashing the first Rubric I see in the face with a power maul

>>43678196
>limps into a room with something that looks like it could be an altar
Sorcerer, is this the place?

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>43678196
>fires at the marines, taking special care to hit their knees.

Ashes, ashes...

>>43678204
Oi give the big lug some support fire.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>Shuts door behind Ron as he comes out
>Laughs evily

Rolled 72 (1d100)

I must say, I have even less of an Idea whats going on now.
>Said from behind cover
But I have this, And I bet it can solve some problems.
>Duuduuuduuu, EXPLOSIVE SATCHELCHARGES! And they are painted Yellow for some reason
>Rolling to see if they contain any actual explosives

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>Throws krak grenade
This is getting into a right proper mess.

>>43678228
Indeed! Do what you must!

Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>43678196
>goes prone behind cover, making herself as small as possible.

Damnit! We need to get to Greely

Rolling to not get shrekt. A small bonus for finding good-very good cover with that dive perhaps

>>43678187

Roger that!

>>43678267
>72% Explosives 20% Ducttape 8% Ork Drool
Chuck them where they need to go will you someone?

>>43678268
Ahh Jizz! It went into a hole!

>>43678281
>smiles, placing the artifact on the altar
So long as I get out of here to where you are, this is worth it.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

Other two rubrics fall down, leaving one engaged in cqc with Rog

>>43678228
Oi Ron!!! Do not listen to that freaky voice mate!! Its freaking sissy tuck tail! Shove a knife in its bum!!

Get that damned traitor guardsman! Emperor Protects! Rog, toss him at the wall so i can ventilate him!

you know, this raises a question. where do the rubric marines get their replacements?

>>43678352
Just so nobody gets confused, I am not in the same room as you.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>Lays down suppressing fire with the Stubber.
UUUUURAAHH!!!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>43678326
ROG SMASH!

>Trying to crush the Rubric's head with his bear hands

>>43678312
A warp portal opens before your very eyes, sucking the artifact in.

It's big enough for a human to fit, yet it offers no protection against the perils if the warp (do a 1d100 roll if you jump in)

>>43678312
NOW, ENSIGN! DO IT NOW!

>>43678360

I know, i'm telling people to give chase

>>43678367
Right, Did i get anyone?
>>43678375
Sarge? what is that freaky thing?

>>43678383
>hastily drops her bolter and starts tapping the button om the device given to her by Nyzart.

What does this thing even do?!

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>43678375
Hope this works.
>whispered
The Emperor Protects.
Hope that gives a bonus

Rolled 6 (1d20)

The rubric marine resists the team's efforts to destroy it, punching rog back on his gut

>>43678403
Stop playing around lass, more incoming by the corridor!

>>43678413
That's really, really, really bad luck. Up to you i decide what horrors occur to your character

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>43678417
CALL DAT A PUNCH!

DIS IS A PUNCH!

>Rog starts pounding the Rubric's face with his fists

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>43678417
Rog!!!
Eat this you walking cathedral decoration!
>Fires Stubber till empty

>>43678454
up to you to*

>>43678413
Ron! Knife that freaky voice while your in there! And tell im coming for his friend "Korn"!

>>43678403
>far above the planet, the sky turns to emerald and unleashes a torrent of crescent-shaped spacecraft. They fire upon loyalist and heretic vessel indescriminately.

>>43678454
It really should kill me... But 9 is the number of Tzeentch, right? That could actually be an epic win? Maybe?

The last rubric marine falls broken to the ground.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

*dashes out of darkness, shotgun blazing*

I'M BAAAACK! EAT MY IMPERIAL BUCKSHOT YOU TRAITOR PUSSIES!

got 30ish minutes while I'm on my break

Umm.. What now?
*Sits down to inspect weapons*

>>43678531
Now... we wait for backup.

>>43678529
You arrived later than me, you toad licking swamp spawn.

>>43678529
Ron went hairy-tick.

Follow me 'e went dis way!

>Runs after Ron

>>43678502
Your pick

>Picks up artifact.
At last! Mine! Mine fir the taki-!
>A big explosion hits the ship. As the necron fliers' guns fire upon it.
WHAT!?! N-NO! WHERE DID THEY COME FROM!?

>now that the fighting is over the detective manages to get a look at his leg.

Look at that! I can barely feel it!

Gonna hurt like fuck once the adrenaline wears off.

>>43678491
"Button, what is your wisdom"
And I looked down at it's boxy form. Lighting it's button to show it's power.
"Fuck the living", it whispered to me as the button was pushed.
And so the Crossiant Lords went to war.

>>43678575
Ahh crud what is it now?!!

>>43678575
How about this. I end up wherever Virminthras is headed, wherever that may be, but I'm stranded until he gets there, and I've lost quite a bit of sanity. That sound reasonable?

>>43678587
our war machine marches inexorably onwards

>Appears before Nyzart.
You god damn Necron! You had planned this from the start!

>>43678587
The fuck you talking about lass? Are they friendly?
>readies weapons.

>>43678552
Like that even matters! I've got other shit to do!

>>43678559
He did, huh? Let's go kill his ass!

>>43678603
Fine for me.

>>43678626
They're xenos ain't they? Kill em all!

>>43678587
Thronedammit Alice, the fuck did you do?

>>43678629
The shit you've gotta do is coming here. Ready up!
>Yells at the sky
GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN KNIFE YOU! GLORY STEALING HERETICS!!!

>>43678579
>grabs her Bolter from the ground and dashes over to Greely
>Inspects the wound, occasionally glancing towards the entrance.

How bad is it?


>>43678529
So all my rolls were decent for once Gary. I attribute my success to 'British Patriotic Music'.

>>43678625
Our reign cannot be denied, worm.

>>43678655
Alrighty then! Where might that be? There's a couple things I need to do.

>Readies and reloads stubber
Orders sarge?

>>43678658
All I did was down a Rubric then hit the button the Enginseer told me to when that Heretic started messing with the Warp!

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>43678667
No shit!

*jumps on a nearby neglected AA autocannon emplacement*

Let's try and get this thing working...

>>43678671
Rule fucking Britannia...

>>43678671

Lets put it this way - If i try to stand, I'm pretty sure it will break off. Carapace and all, I'm sure that those were heavy bolters.

Ron's gone.

The room he ran ta was empty an felt wrong.

What do we do now boss? The sky is lightin' up like a fire.

I fink I remember the jennyrull talkin' about 'is ship beign nearby if we needs ta leave.

>takes out a hip flask of oil and takes a long, drawn out swig

>>43678681
The eye of terror

>towards the necron
You... you had planned this from the start!
>Waving over the room and around the party.
All of this! He's a Necron! He's been disguised among you for Tzeentch knows how much time and none of you even noticed! And now his ships and armies have arrived!

YOU IMBECILED YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>43678732
*autocannons are loaded and operational*
Ha! Yeah bitch.

>>43678709
I thought that creepy asshole was up to something... oh well

*begins firing on Necron craft*

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>43678773
out-tzeentched

I had no inkling that this box would cause such a catastrophe! It was in the research lab, labeled "last resort"

>>43678761
ROG, grab the biggest gun you can find and shoot everything in sight that isn't your friend!

>>43678773
>>43678679
I can work with that.

>wakes up, blinded and deaf, screaming
>reaches into a pocket and pulls out the "Servo Skull"
Ordeal. Terrified. Techpriest?

>>43678749
I'll give you a painkiller and a stim, but I can't really do a lot. We need a Hospitaller to try and save it. We'll just need be VERY careful with it.

>>43678761
We can't leave! This is Cadia. CADIA. If we lose Cadia then we're done. No more Praetoria, no more Catachan, no more Mars and no more Terra.
We shall simply do what Guardsman do. Stand the line and die fighting.

>>43678827
What about Greely, 'e needs 'elp!

>>43678749
I got's ya boss, wot's our orders?

>Picks up Greely with a care surprising for his size

>>43678761
>>43678827
Hey, friends! How goes the defence?

>Clearly to someone else, probably someone at his ship.
Evasive manneuvers! We're leaving! Prepare the warp engines, we're going back to the Eye! Let the Hell Talons and the Drakes loose on the necron ships they might distract them long enough.

>Back to the necron.
Heed my words, soul-less authomaton:
This isn't over.

>>43678858

get me to a medicae or a hospitlaller.

>>43678864
And I should hope not! It was such good fun, toying with you so. But I'm sure it was but a trifle, compared to what your god pulls on a daily basis!

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>43678847
CALL IN SOME AID AND GET ON A GUN! FIRE TILL NOTHING IS LEFT!

>>43678887
>crying into the Scarab (Servo Skull)
Techpriest?! Alone! Location!
Your name's gone

>>43678841
>types on a panel attached to his forearm

>the scarab changes, seemingly corrupted by the warp's foul energies. A seven pointed star appears on it.

>>43678919
damn, not again

>>43678860
Sit down, shut up, grab a gun. Who the fuck are you anyway?

>>43678923
>feels the change by touch, and becomes frantic
TECHPRIEST! PLAN! WRONG! LOYAL!

>>43678940
The new techpriest, just got here a week ago.

my name disappeared for some reason

Wait... yeah... of course! He'll be close enough if I can call him in time...

*rushes off somewhere*

ok, gotta get back to work. Gary will be back with some special help..

We're leaving, but not empty handed, we've got what we were after, nothing left for us here, this black crusade can rot for what I care! With this relic I'm one step closer to immortality.

Until we meet again, Cadia, someday you'll be ours.

>Ship departs towards the eye of terror.

I'll be leaving it around here for tonight, have fun guys, see you tomorrow.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>43678911
Yes Sergeant!

>sprints for the nearest Autocannon and starts loading it.

We Bofors now

>>43678962
>the scarab projects a green-tinged aquila, and then the words "secret" in the guardsman's native form of sign language

>>43678983
Blame the ministratum. Do we still have any functioning Chimeras? I get the feeling we might need to bolt out of here soon.

>the detective has lost consciousness.

I'll see you guys next time, gotta go for now

>>43679031
>smiles, and begins to cry and laugh
Insight! Sorcerer! Here! Save? Revenge.

>>43679042
I've got... something like that.

> outside, a monolith materializes. This hulking mass of necrodermis does not bare the telltale green lights, but instead projects those of a more golden tinge

>>43679055
>Pulls detective into a corner
>Shoves empty cartridge into his nose.
hehehe.
>>43679031
WHAT THE HELL?!

>>43679092
Nah that scarab's with Ron in the eye

Yeeahhh. We should go.

>>43679083
>You can see Virmanthras' ship enter the waro, it's badly damaged. But she flies.

The ship lands not too far away from your position, somewhere one could call the docks, only that it looks like it could also suit water-based ships aside from spaceships, if there was any water in this hell of a place.

>>43679083
> the necpriest's voice comes through the speaker on the scarab

Be strong, guardsman. I will do what I can to assist you, but there are no guarantees. For now all you can do is be patient.

>>43679090
>is distracted from her efforts by the abrupt appearance of the Monolith.

By the E-Emperor.....we're doomed.....

>>43679157
>>43679162
>begins the steady crawl to the ship, half-insane, in great pain, and not knowing if he's going to make it 2 feet, let alone all the way back to Cadia.

>>43679188
> the monolith sits, unmoving

>>43679188
GO! GO! Back to the Chimeras! Techpriest get the engine running!

>>43679228
Are you sure? I think I could reverse engineer this monolith. Can't you see that it is bathed in the emperor's holy light?

>>43679083
>Materializes before Ron.
You've... survived. Surprisingly marvelous. Don't move, this place is dangerous as it is. I'll send a squad of Word Bearers to pick you up, but I'm nkw about to begin a ritual with the artifact you've recovered and I'm not to be disturbed, I shall greet you personally when the time comes... brother...

Alright, officially leaving now, feel free to roleplay what the Word Bearers do with you and/or if they show you around the place, just bear in mind my character is currently unreachable.

>>43679223
>>43679228
>slowly backs away from the Autocannon, attempting to look as small and non-threatening as possible.

G-grab Greely.....then we need to start running....

>>43679261
Its green! Green is never a good color for mankind. You know what else is green? Orks!

>>43679261
have I gone too far in trying to give you guys a monolith?

>>43679286
>collapses, and falls into a nightmare of daemons, blood, and the ringing of church bells

>>43679312
it isn't green, though...

>>43679328
Awesome sauce answer: Honestly....not really, like 6 threads ago we had someone temporarily gain the powers of a living saint and purify a horde of cats from Nurgle. Go for it. MAXIMUM PURITAN MINIMUM FUN answer: Probably still no since messing with Necrodermis is something Ad Mech Priests actually do, I just like me my Imperial Tech

>>43679328
Depends is it active? and are we spotted?

>>43679367
Its big, freaky and glowing we need more firepower

>>43679386
>the necron force does not seem to target this position. The monolith hovers a few feet above the ground.

Wait hold on a minute. Techpriest i think its safer to stay put for now. Everyone else setup defensive positions. Do not fire until fired upon.

>>43679424
>>43679458
>pulls a pair of bino's from her chest pouches and uses them to peer at the Necron force.

This is....what's going on?

>as Ron moves through the heretic ship, the servo-scarab discreetly scans the halls, creating a map.

>>43679532
I don't really wanna know. What do you see Ensign.

>>43679599
Well, the Necrons obviously see us. They -have- to see us at this range, but they're just sitting there.
All I've seen of Necrons before now was a basic identification briefing but....they're supposed to have green lights, but these are all gold like the Enginseer said.

>offers the binos to Dolan.

See for yourself, this is too strange to make up.

>>43679694
Different kind of Necrons? Like the smurfs and those other things with them are both Tau but vastly different?
>Still holding a satchel charge, slightly disappointed it was unused

>>43679532
>the necron flyers wreak havoc among the heretic forces, as they were dominant above this part of the planet. Then, as quickly as they appeared, they disappear, blinking out of existence one by one. You feel as if they have not left the planet forever, though.

>>43679694
>takes bino
Woah. Emperors arse they've cut off our escape route. All my melta bombs were in the chimera too.

>>43679723
No idea, Xenos studies isn't my area of expertise, bit something does seem......Woah...

>>43679729
>stops mid-scentence, instead focused on the unusual interest in Heretic forces.

.....they're just, slaughtering the Heretics and here we are left alone. Do they want, -us-? But why?

Although now that I think about it, there had to be a way to disguise our Monolith as a Baneblade if we get one. And the Necron Starter Pack that comes with it as Servitors or Skitarii perhaps?

>>43679841
painted red, of course!

>>43679841
Oh good i just hope were not next on their list.

>>43679881
To match the Chimera(And secretly to go fasta)! The Baneblade will be constructed on the Forgeworld of Bullshitius ItsaMonolithocus Primaris of course.

Well then. Shall we investigate this oddly shaped personnel carrier?

>wakes up in a very comfortable bed
>opens eyes, now able to see once again. He is in a darkened room with no windows, but somehow a dim glow makes the room visible
So I can see again. Hear, too. Is anyone there?
>there is no answer
By the Emperor... Am I on the ship?
>stands up, and searches for the Scarab

>>43680066
>the scarab sits in the corner, beeping every now and again

>>43680088
Thank the Throne. Or maybe I shouldn't say that here.
>taps the scarab
You really aren't a servo skull, are you? That must mean the Techpriest is hiding something too.

Dang it. Arm up and form on me. Take as many explosives as you can. We're blowing that thing up from the inside.

>>43679911
>>43680016
Well....I..suppose....so?

>hesitantly stands and takes a few steps out of cover, im the direction of the Monolith.

Lost your name again Ny.

>>43680136
>not wanting a sweet new pyramidal ride

>>43680137
dammit

wow there's only been eleven posters in this thread.

>>43680137
Alright people were going in sneeky breeki style. Kraks grenades at the ready.

>Sips Recaf
Damn. What have I missed?

>>43680252
The usual. Now get the techpriest and jump into the chimera and drive straight to that big pile of metal skeletons over there. We need a distraction.

>>43680282
Can i get a refill first?
>Holds out her cup.
Also where is the Techpriest.

>>43680282
W-what?! Oh no no no no. Arthur apparently made it clear that nobody but the Crew of the Chimera are to touch itYou were absent for the earlier threads, but it basically boiled down to "You touch the Crew Compartment and you die", after some Stormtrooper managed to break half of it. If you need a distraction then use some spare bombs. We've got more than enough.

>>43680327
"You were absent for the earlier threads, but it basically boiled down to "You touch the Crew Compartment and you die" was SUPPOSED to be spoilered. But I guess not. Because 4chan hates ne right now.

>turns away from the dormant Scarab, picking it up, and scans the room for a weapon. No luck.
I barely got to use that gauss gun, too.
>opens the door, and goes into the empty hallway. Going right seems like an okay idea.
>screams echo up and down the halls. Eventually, he ends up in what appears to be a library of sorts. A strange being sits behind a massive desk.
Oh my... Hello? Can you speak?
>no answer. It doesn't even look his way.
Right. I'm just going to have a look around, then.

>>43680327
Fine, where are the bombs and where is my fucking Recaf?

>>43680367
I think there is still a full dispenser inside the chimera. Good luck.

>>43680387
>Sighs and head over to the chimera

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>43680363
>touches the Scarab in his shirt
I wonder if any of the books here can tell me exactly what this thing is...
>picks a book at random.

>>43680387
>>43680412

Just don't bother the Crew!

Now...there's clearly something wrong here. If the Necrons were hostile we'd be dead by now.
Enginseer, can you make any sense of this?

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>43680438
>the scarab vibrates frantically, as if warning you from opening the book

>>43680453
Well, the necrons seem to have disappeared. They only left behind this monolithic baneblade. My sensors ate telling me that it is populated by about thirty skitarii. I say we commandeer it for ourselves.

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>43680453
I won't I'm just getting some recaf!
>I drink your milkshake!
Dice? I don't even know man

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>43680438
>>43680459
>Opens the book
Is that... A Tau? Is she having... OH NO NOT WITH A SQUIG!
>slams the book shut, and goes to pick another

>>43680488
Hm....okay, lets do it.

>increases her pace a tad, but still far slower than normal.

How fast do you think it can go?

>Struts in
What's the latest news, chumps?

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>43680495
>opens the second book
BLOODY FUCK, NOW IT'S A GROX WITH 3 DICKS?! WHAT SECTION IS THIS?!
>slams the book shut
I think I'll go to the OTHER side of this library.

>>43680551
>Sips her replenished Cup of recaf
Stuff. I don't even know man.

>>43680563
You need help mate?

*voxes in*

HEY RETARDS!

If yall will wait awhile and hold the damn line, I have a way less suicidal solution up my sleeve. Just hold your damn groxes.

>>43680543
It doesn't matter how fast it goes when it can level a hive from across a continent.
I'm probably exaggerating

>>43680543
>>43680551
Got some krak grenades left. Have some.

>>43680582
Let's try this again, shall we?
>crosses the library, and picks a third (and hopefully final) book

I'm currently inside the Sorcerer's ship, which itself is inside the Eye of Terror, and everybody but Nyzart thinks I'm a traitor, so you are more than welcome to try,

>>43680582
Well, at least I didn't walk into a silent war zone. Mind pointin' me in the direction of refreshments?
>>43680590
What's that? What the hell are they doin' that's suicidal?
>>43680600
Noice.
>Takes some

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>43680608
Forgot to roll

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>43680590
Well then stop sleeping on the job!. And im already atop one of the baneblades!
*throws grenade into the hatch*

>Wakes up.

Guys. Where the fuck are we?

>>43680590
>taps her combead transmit button.

"Uh...Sergeant Gary, the situation is undercontrol. The Necrons have...erm, phased out and we're aboit to sieze this 'Baneblade' they left behind as a gift.

Yes. Obviously a Baneblade."

>>43680590
>>43680636
Wait am I suppose to be using this?
>Hold up her lasgun

>>43680611
>>43680632
>Shrug
fuck if I know.

>>43680608
Oh. Uhhhh IGNORE MEEEEEEEEEEE

who needs a recap?

>>43680630
By the Emperor! We're supposed to be stealing this gear! Not fragging it!

>>43680655
Son of a bitch my name keeps disappearing.

>>43680655
Please do, funny voice in my head that ISN'T telling me to rip people's heads off.

>>43680642
Well, fuck me with a flamer an' call me 'ot stuff, me 'ead's killing me. Where's the damn recaf? Knew I shouldn't'a partied so 'ard.

>>43680655
Yes please mate

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>43680618
>opens the book
Well, that's not so bad. Always wondered what she looked like nude. Won't never tell her that, mind you. It'd make our working relationship very awkward.
>catches himself thinking aloud
Hmph.
I guess I know what kind of library I'm in now. Nothing of use to me here.
>checks to see if anyone is looking, then slips the book inside his pocket
Still. Better not let this get in the wrong hands.
>leaves the library, in search of some REAL information

>>43680669
Its fine this things are tough. see the dahsboard is mostly intact. Shit they're still alive.

>>43680686
In the chimera. don't fuck with tit's crew though.

>>43680716
Righto. Cover for me, willya? Oy! I'm doin' a caf run. Anyone want any? If the boss asks, I'm grabbin' more ammo. Yeah, ammo.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>43680692
>wanders aimlessly about the ship for a while
Where am I now?
>continues the search for a different, less pornographic library

>>43680636
>>43680630
What in the name of all... a goddamn BANEBLADE? And all the shits are gone?

Well, I'll be heading back from the mesa to the northeast then. I was just about to call in a favor I had with one of those Cadian generals to lay down some artillery hate on them metal bastards. Damn glad I haven't wasted it...

>>43680731
Get me an extra cup, i'm almost half way done with this one.

so. chaos sorcerer comes in, tries to have us retrieve an artifact for him. We decide to play along but destroy the artifact. Laroque (sorta) goes rogue and steals the artifact, taking it into a portal to the eye of terror. I trick wellsley into pushing a button that summons a fleet of croissants that force the heretics to retreat into the eye. After wrecking their shit, the necromancer disappear and leave behind a monolith that glows golden light instead of green.

>>43680731
Get me some, will ya'?

>>43680696
They are as well, should make armour of that I'd say.

>>43680731
Is your Guardsman.....a.....Praetorian?

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>43680738
>insane cackling erupts from behind!
Fucking wh-
>something swoops down, knocks him over, and is gone as quickly as it came
I hate this place.
>the search continues

>>43680766
Thank you voice in my head.
. . .So why's that thing glowin' yellow? Does that mean there's a bug of some kind?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>43680794
*pokes Skitarii* hmmm...

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>43680799
>finally stumbles across an open door, and for once, has good luck! It's another library!

>>43680755
>>43680771
Two mugs of caffeinated mud, comin' right up!

>>43680766
Cheers m8

I always seem to sleep through the good bits. Bloody narcolepsy. Sleeping on the job again, Mercer? Pay more attention, Mercer. It's enough to make a man go barmy, I swear. Oy, assholes in the Chimera. Open up, the lads want caf.

>>43680794
Nah m8, Bushman of Serica. 'Course, it was the Praetorians that settled 'ere so I can understand the confusion. Go space broncos!

File: Tech Priest Dominus Ad Mech Mechanicum Cult Warhammer 40k (20).jpg (306KB, 1200x1600px) Image search: [Google]

306KB, 1200x1600px

well guys I've gotta go. Glad that I was able to fuck everything up as bad as I did. See you all tomorrow. I imagine that I look like this but with a dark pink, cloak by the way.

>>43680824
>The explosion from the grenade seems to have totally disabled the crew of the baneblade.
Okay.... What now?

>>43680884
uhh we take it?
>Sips her recaf

>>43680874
Thanks Marcy!
>>43680884
>>43680905
So, what was in the baneblade again?

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>43680868
>strolls in, past one of the silent beasts that are apparently the librarians on this ship
This place has promise. Even my luck isn't so bad as to walk into a second smut library.
>walks to the nearest bookshelf, and picks a book

>>43680919
Skitarii crew and some donuts.....

>>43680919
>Shrug
fuck if I know.

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>43680928
[spoiler ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4 [/spoiler]

>opens book
>throws up
>closes book
>silently goes on to the next one, but hope is waning

>>43680949
Huh... Skitarii... Why are we killin' them again?
>>43680956
Well, you never bother to find out, which is a good way to keep sane I guess.

>>43680874
>The rear hatch of the Chimera drops open, the Vox Operator takes one look at Mercer then gestures him in with a friendly smile and waves to the kettle and a collection of tins and mugs.

I had no idea Bushmen of Serica were a thing and I now wish I had known they were earlier.

>>43680990
Hereteks.

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>43680984
>opens book
This entire ship is fucking Hell, isn't it? There's only porn here. I am on a ship with not just one, but at the VERY LEAST, 2 ENTIRE LIBRARIES DEVOTED TO PORN, AREN'T I?!
>throws book across the room
One more. Then I'm going to go cry.

>>43681007
Neat. did they have anything cool on them?

>>43681007
Ah, Hereteks. . . .And heretics are bad, right?

>>43680995
>Whistles an old marching tune as he starts to fix everyone a drink.

Aaaah, gotta love this job. The more dangerous the situation, the more caf people need. The more caf people need, the more time some poor bloke like me gets to spend in the back, making the caf.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>43681044
>opens book
No. No, no, no.
>closes book, and walks up to the librarian, and asks in a very hushed tone
Where can I find a library with information on possible Xenos technology?

>>43681007
>>43681050
>>43681068
You three have fun in here, just try not to break anything. We need it driveable.

>>43681106
>slips into the rear of the Chimera and sinks onto one of the seats, her equipment vaugely marking her as an Officer.

Govenor Grey please mate if it wouldn't be too much of a bother. There's biscuits in the ammo box by your right foot if you want them.

>>43681050
>>43681068
Well the grenade destroyed most of their equipment, and those that are not seems to be bolted into them. Well the baneblade seems to operable..mostly.

>>43681204
Uhuh, so... who here has experience driving a baneblade?
>>43681210
Are we going to need a bunch of elbowgrease to get the baneblade movin'?

>>43681204
Awwww yeeeaaa! Biscuits. Now this is propa luxury! So, that's guv for short, right?

>Acquire biscuits. Grind barista skill.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>43681111
I can get quads, and yet only 1 good roll this entire thread. Fuck you, irony.

>the librarian says nothing, but points with a large tentacle to the left
Better than nothing. Thanks.
>begins the trek to the next library, and contemplates suicide if it turns out to be another set of smut

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>43681236
Hold on let me whack some things in here.

>>43681240
I'm a Scotsman and I'm just gonna admit that "So that's guv for short, right?" has me completely stumped in this context. The only thing I can imagine is referring to the vaugely Officerish Uniform but even now I still feel like the plebiest of plebs.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>43681242
>as he walks, all he can see is familiar faces, worn out faces. This slows him down considerably.
I find this kind of funny. I find this kind of sad. What a mad world we live in...
>and on he goes

>>43681272
Well that did something. Some lights are blinking. And some of the instruments is going *blip* bloop*.

>>43681287
OOOH. That was the kind of drink you were after. Derp. That'll teach me to show up for duty with a hangover. Mercer thought the boss was making introductions

>>43681272
>>43681302
Well then, great. So, is there a big red button that says 'GO' or is that asking too much?

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>43681296
>the journey continues. Nothing bad happens, but no real progress is made either.
How big can one ship be?

>>43681204
Sure thing boss. I call shotgun.

>>43681210
>Shrug
Oh well.

>>43681307
Now that you mention it I feel like an even bigger pleb for not getting it.

>>43681240
You can use whatever name for it you feel like, not like anyone else around here touches it. They all prefer Caf.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>43681336
Statistically, I should be rolling better than this. Can I catch a break here?!

>trips and falls, banging his head
Fuck me...
>gets up, and starts walking again

*trots back into the compound*

SO! Yall weren't bullshitting, we have us a Baneblade. Now, my first question is this: if we can't find a way to crew this big bastard ourselves, what are we gonna do with it?

I mean, I know the basics of tank operation, and I can drive a Sentinel like a son of a bitch, but I hadn't really spent a lot of time with heavy armor...

Ensign, here's your opportunity to act like an officer, so I'll leave it up to you. But I recommend we get in touch with the nearest armored unit and have them come get this thing.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>43681346
Unfornately i dont even know if i am in the drivers seat. But there seems to be a stick here. Dont know what that does.
Lets give it a push.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>43681362
Caaaan do. So how does someone get in charge of a bunch of lackwits like us, anyway?

>Grindin' that skill.

>Rollan for the perfect Guv Grey.

Rolled 6, 79 = 85 (2d100)

>>43681377
>nose starts bleeding
Shit.
>the blood seems to be flowing sideways, for some reason. Startled by this, he backs up, only to find himself in another library!
>without hesitation, he races to the nearest shelf, and opens a book

>>43681391
wait wait. It just rotates one of the turrets. It doesn't go all the way trough, must be damaged. Hey can someone do a vox call to the techpriest?

>>43681391
>Skippy starts pushing

>>43681405
Fair as I heard the Captain was sent here as a Liason Officer for the Vostroyans and the Administratum just sort of...forgot about him.
Captain's second, my Brother Arthur was apparently the most respectful Trooper in the room when Captain Mikhailovich took charge.

>>43681424
>it's more porn! But, for some unknown reason, it's Scarabs!
I knew I was storing up some good luck! Fuck yeah! But that's still fucking disgusting.
>reading further, more and more information is told (though it is frequently interrupted by scenes most lewd) and a startling conclusion forms
These Scarabs., they're Necron tech! That means... That means that Nyzart isn't an ordinary Techpriest! He's either a Heretic, or worse... An actual Warp-blasted Necron!

>>43681387
>>43681391
>>43681445
Would now be a bad time to mention that 'Baneblade' was actually just a nickname to prevent the real Ad Mech from shitting on us for Tech Heresy? It's actually a Monolith and the now dead....ish Skitarii are actually Necrons with disguises.

>>43681518
>Is still pushing the "Baneblade"

>>43681518
Let me have this.... I haven't shanked anyone since we got here.

Rolled 12, 3 = 15 (2d20)

>>43681484
>an idea forms! It's a long shot, but if he can somehow make it so that he can use the Scarab as a vox, he might be able to make contact with the others!

I'm giving myself a bonus on this, because Vox-Operator

>>43681518
hold up now, is it in fact a monolith that is illusioned to look like a baneblade, or does it appear as it really is?

Rolled 5 (1d20)

Oh wait whats this?
*push*

>broadcast to everyone
Hello? Can anybody hear me? Hello?

>>43681756
the fuck this does nothing.
>>43681755
the doc gave lots of chems earlier, i am higher than a Valkyrie

>>43681755
At present it is literally a Monolith with Gold illumination as opposed to Green(Same with the Necrons inside) that is just sitting there, making no attempts to defend it's self. The idea is that through hard work it can be made to look like a Monolith sized Fortress of Arrogance clone with way bigger guns and much better armour, crewed by 'Skitarii'.

>>43681783
yes. YES! Wait what?

>>43681819
Fucking brilliant! It works! It's me, Ron Laroque!

Reminder that everyone thinks I'm a traitorous heretic

>>43681783
>The Chimera's Vox Operator turns back to his station and taps his transmit button to speak a response of "Identify yourself immediately".

>>43681808
....wow. not sure I like this idea. Gary certainly wont...

>>43681838
Aren't supposed to be warp dust right now? wait a minute it must be the chems talking.

>>43681848
A nigh-unstoppable Monoblade crusing across Cadia slaying Failbaddons forces though mang. Although admittedly I'd have prefered some sort of Necron vehicle that is essentially a Leman Russ made of Necron bits.

>>43681870
>>43681839
Hey, no, I'm not dead! I am 100% sure I'm the real, living Ron Laroque.

File: 1443145470113.gif (468KB, 148x148px) Image search: [Google]

468KB, 148x148px

>>43681883
Replace "me" with "Monoblade" and "your mom" with "Abaddon", and that's this situation, correct?

>>43681884
Then how am i talking to you? I dont even have a Vox. Oh wait the walls are screaming at me again.

>>43681884
>Alice replaces the Vox Operator at his equipment and speaks, her tone far from pleasant.

"You've got a minute to come up with a Warptight excuse for me not cutting this transmission. Go.

>>43681923
Got it in one.

>>43681982
Fucked if I know, this Scarab isn't exactly something I fully understand.
>>43681984
I don't really have an excuse you'd believe, if I'm being honest. All I can say is that I'm not a heretic, and my plans to kill the Sorcerer didn't work out exactly the way I though they would.

>>43682024
But you jump into that hole, you were like *whooosh!* and you were talking to that guy who was whispering into me earlier, then the hole went *bazzaP!* then you were gone.

>>43682024
"You can see where your potential for an excuse just disappeared right? It's the same as trying to bomb Terra and claiming you did it to destroy Chaos.....

but fine, I won't jam your comms to the rest of the men, provided you keep them clean. Now I'm going back to my tea."

>Alice switches out with the Vox Operator and returns to her chair.

>>43682115
>>43682126
Well, that's one way to say it. Yeah, I jumped into the portal, which was a shitty decision I must say. Ended up on some planet in the Eye of Terror, and got picked up by the Sorceror. Now I'm on his ship. The whole plan was to get here. Unfortunately, the fucker wanted me to help him before he'd pick me up. So, I had to go along with it. Again, probably not the best decision.

But hey, I'm in a Penal Legion, so I ain't exactly the smartest guy around.

>>43682165
Did you shank that sorcerer at least? Well dont expect nothing less than a firing squad if you return.

>>43682252
I plan on killing the fucking prick. Just need to figure out a way to do it. They took my gun, and I'm probably tainted enough as it is, so I'm certainly not touching any of THEIR weapons.

Look, my whole point in contacting you guys was to tell you 2 things.

1. Get me the FUCK out of here, I'm not a Emperor-damned traitor,
and
2. I'm pretty sure that something's up with the Techpriest. He's using Necron tech.

>>43682307
How the hell are we gonna pull you out we dont even now where you are and even if we did know where you are, were neck deep in semi-passive necrons here. Im not even sure if this conversation is just on my head.

>>43682389
I'm pretty sure this is broadcasting to more than just your head. If anyone else is listening, the could probably trace the signal, right?

I don't really give a shit about how you get here, or whatever your problems with non-aggressive Necrons are. I have seen things that would make you want to cut off the entire lower half of your body just to avoid the possibility of your genitals being involved. If someone doesn't come and rescue me ASAP, I am going to tear a hole in reality and crawl out of your Throne-damned eye-socket myself, you hear me? This isn't some "scary ship", this is the kind of nightmare you wish you'd wake up from, except I'm awake already.

I've taken bad chems, but I'd swap out the Galaxy's worst trip for this any day.

>>43682458
If your broadcasting in an open channel then you should know we aren't the only ones in the vicinity pretty sure elements of the heretics are still around. Just get me time to figure out how this monolithingy works.

>>43682574
Just get me out of this place. All of the libraries consist entirely of smut, and some of it shouldn't exist.

On the bright side, one of the books had compromising pictures of the Ensign, so I'll let you borrow it when you get me out.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>43682633
Deal. Just let push some buttons and some shit in here.

>>43682687
Well that did something. Everything is shiny now.

>>43682864
Keep pressing buttons, see if that does anything!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>43682886
Alright then how bout this!

>>43682962
I'm feeling something. I'm feeling someth- No, wait, it's gone.

Try one more time?

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>43683055
And this!

>>43683079
Shit!! Everything is sparking! Fuck this im out!

>>43683079
>>43683092
No, NO! THE FUCKING BOOK WITH THE PICTURES OF THE ENSIGN IS GONE!

*wheelchairs in* Finally caught up to yer! Don't run off like that, young 'uns, poor ol' me can't keep up!

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>43683111
*thump* aw. Wait the fuck is this? ohhh pin-ups. I'll save that for later. Wait maybe if i do this?

>>43683149
>suddenly appears
THAT PORN IS MINE, LIM!

>>43683149
Well that calmed everything down. Everything is dark again.

>>43683128
Doc, what the hell are you doing here? How'd you get pass all the necrons?

>>43683163
Well you shouldn't drop into other peoples heads.

>>43683216
Holy shit, you did it! You deserve more than just borrowing the book.

I'm going to make you a copy, you magnificent bastard. Just make sure to back me up when the inevitable "heretic"'s and "traitor"'s start flying.

>>43683254
Im pretty sure well just face the wall together, along with half the regiment.
But if we manage to nick this thing, i think that worth the pardon.

>>43683188
I dinnae see no nekyrahns. Musta be Ol' Lady watcin' over me hide. Empyrar too.

>>43683367
Oh no. There's money to be made here, if we keep our heads down. Split it 50/50?

>>43683374
You got any painkillers, Doc? I think I'll need some help gettin' to sleep tonight.

>>43683374
Doc quick! push some buttons we need to get this thing moving.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>43683405
'ere, I fink these herbs shoulda ease pain when wrapped 'round the wound.
>>43683407
Lessee... Big ol' yellow one here!

both luck rolls combined into one

>>43683405
Alright we just need to find a rouge trader corrupt enough to deal with us.

>>43683454
I'm pretty sure that these herbs are just mint, Doc. Don't get me wrong, I love mint, but it isn't exactly well-known for it's healing properties.

>>43683456
I've got that covered, don't worry. Smuggling is one of the reasons I'm here.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>43683454
Alright that opened the vents we have another exit route out of here.

Dang it why is nothing working in here *kicks console*

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>43683492
Hmm... Seems like sumfin' be strange... Dinnae the lil' skully bugger bring me good herbs?

>>43683531
Doc, where the Hell did you get Nightshade?!

>>43683531
slaaneshi level drugs found from medical bag! Time to go for the weirdest trip ever

>>43683526
Haha! Iets get rolling! Wait were moving, this thing is moving.

>>43683549
I dunno... I think I can make somethin' good outta it, though.

>>43683592
I just got back from jumping into the Warp, and I'm not sure I want to take that risk.

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>43683609
Well lessee... I still have a couple o' pouches...

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>43683645
Chew on that mint 'n rub this to the wound. It stings but eases up in a moment. I'll make sumfin from these Nightshades, meanwhile.