Penal Regiment /tg/: Assault Continues: Edition

File: Servo-skull.png (761KB, 1280x1280px) Image search: [Google]

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>>43558451
Beep boop!

>>43558517
I missed the last part of the lictor attack during the last thread, can someone telle me what happend?

>>43558533
we retreated outside, to regroup and better prepare for combat against the lictor. So, no clear conclusions yet

>>43558614
ok. Do you think the servo skull should still be inside exploring or heading out along with the others?

>>43558639
Probably following whomever it decided to be its master, as it had no more orders

>>43558662
Then it probably followed Gary the Catachen out. Since Gary has given the most orders to it

>>43558669
forgot the fukken spoilers

>>43558517
Well well, what might yer be? Cute lil' bugger, that be fer sure.

>>43558753
Beep....boop?

>>43558778
>starts to fly in circles out of idleness

Is there a registry I need to do in order to join this ? Or is it open RP ?

>>43558828
Hmm. Yer bored, aintcha, lil' buddy? Would yer help me find some herbs? An' keep a look out fer 'em horney blighters, some ran off when NotAnOrk hit 'em.

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>43558961
>flies off into some nearby bushes

>>43558930
anyone can join, just make a character and post away!

>>43558961
>returns with a couple of leaves, some of them "might" be what you were looking for

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>43559027
Hmm. Let's see...

>>43559063
Yes, these seem good, thank you lil' un!
thus the poisonous ones slip through and some patients get a free ticket to... Either death or slaanesh-tier drug-visions due to eye of terror essentially being right next to us

>>43559107
Beep boop!
>flies up and down in quick manner

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>begins out of boredom to scan the surrounding area

let's just keep the thread bumped and wait for the others to appear, no sense doing this by the two (three, counting in the new guy) of us

*eye clears up from stare at depot where Lictor licks its wounds, blinks, yawns*

Throne damn thing still lying low. Well, as long as we don't have orders from the Captain or from Sis, we got all the time in the universe to murder this thing and make moonshine from its carcass. Keep an eye out, fucksticks.

I may be in and out today, because of IRL shit, forgive me of posts are sporadic

>>43559173
>Bump into the servo skull
What in th... Oh hey you... I'm kinda lost, where is the nearest officer around here ?

>>43559333
Fucked off to whatever it is they think is more important.

nice trips

>>43559360
So... We're without any supervision ? What if something decide to eat us, or worse ?


Thanks ; I Never used the spoiler option before, and I hope I'll make an enjoyable, young, gullible guard

*Wanders back from the perimeter toting several Hot Shot Lasguns... that look like they may have been cludged together from more lasguns.*

>>43559389
We're in a penal regiment. Which, frankly, is unlike any I've ever heard of, cause we're just a bunch of misfits that got stuck here. Fucking Munitorum, sometimes their oversights lead to half decent things.

So no, we aren't really surpervised. So howd you get here, you not salute a colonel fast enough? Did you spill your Commissar's recaf? Or were you caught tugging your Tallarn?

>>43559449
How the fuck do you manage this shit? Explains why you're here anyway

Greeterlings! Mind if I join?

>>43559470
*Burbles and shrugs some of his mechadendrites, offering out a hot-shot*

>>43559456
How to explain it... Someone told me to old something while he finished some other thing... Finds out the first thing was stolen... I Just wanted to help This guy, the crate looked suite a burdden. Maybe that's why he was running...

>>43559493
Stick it in the chimera. Maybe I'll use it later

>>43559490
join on in.

>>43559512
Hah! That's pretty dumb of you. Guess your officers were too.

>>43559515
*Nods and burbles as he wanders towards the Chimera*

>>43559512
*Stops and offers a semi-approved Hot-Shot Lasgun mod.*

>>43559515

01001000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 00100001 00100000 01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 00101101 00100000 01001111 01101000 00101110

>Begins jamming screwdrivers into his voice modulator

>>43559530
I just want to help other... If anyone needs anything, just ask, I'll do.
Not if it's something That would go against our Great Emperor's Will of course !

>>43559548
>Look quite afraid of the Techpriest
Th... Thanks You...

>>43559604
*Burbles pleasantly and begins to wander off once more.*

Beep boop?

>hovers around the party waiting for a task to perform

>>43559630

>Let's out a burst of static, then points at the Servo-Skull before looking around.

>>43559671
*Wanders over after poking the Chimera's engine a few times and burbles at the fellow priest*

>Observes his new hot shot lasgun, with some hesitation to manipulate it
C...Can someone help me use it in its more efficient way... Please ?

>>43559630
Hey, sorry to have bumped into you, it wasn't my intention...

>>43559699
Beep boop...

>>43559691

>Unleashes another burst of static and waves his mechadentride.

File: Felinid Guardsman.jpg (92KB, 600x787px) Image search: [Google]

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Attention! I am Corporal Mittens,of the second Felinid Regiment!

The Lord General send me for the requested Status Report!

It was expected a DAY ago! He demands to know the cause of this delay!!

>>43559751
*Burbles and offers up a few parts for his fellow priest from beneath his robes*.


>>43559795
*Burbles dismissively and waves in the general direction of the lictor infested supply bunker*

>>43558451
TROOPS!
Sorry for being away, i had a voice extinction.
BUT I SEE YOU DID NOT SIT AROUND IDLY! EXCELLENT. SO A LICTOR AT THE DOOR HE. WHAT A WONDERFUL OCCASION TO DIE FOR THE EMPEROR.

>>43559814
Beep boop!
>flies up to sister Theresia and scans her face before a light turns green on the servo skull

>stumbles in
Well..I'm done puking everywhere..and the shards are out of my dick, thank the Emperor-
>>43559795
OH MY EMPEROR, NO-
>ACHOO!
GO AWAY!

>>43559723
YOU! COORDINATES ON THE LICTOR'S POSITION!

>>43559795
WHAT LORD GENERAL ABHUMAN? WHAT MATTERS A STATUS REPORT WHEN YOU ARE A MOCKERY OF THE PERFECT AND PURE HUMAN FORM!?

>>43559808

>Lets out another burst of static, then accepts the parts.

>>43559795

>Unleashes a burst of static at the Corporal before shrugging.

>>43559858
YOUR BINARY-TO-FLESHBAG DEVICE IS MALFUNCTIONING.

>>43559808
WHAT IS YOUR MALFUNCTION TECHPRIEST? DO I LOOK LIKE I SPEAK BINARY?

-stares at look at the bunker-

What is it? A problem with the Vox-caster?

>>43559853
STOP YELLING AT ME! ALSO HOW THE WARP DID THE TYRANID ENTER THE BUNKER?

>>43559874
>ACHOO
>ACHOO
CORPORAL..CAN YOU PLEASE..MOVE AWAY FROM ME-
>ACHOO

>>43559874
ME YELLING? THIS IS MY CALM VOICE!

>>43559795
>>43559853
>Proceed to salute
Sir, Ma'am, guardsman Clem on duty !

What should I do in our Emperor's Name ?
>whispers
What Is a licter ?

>>43559884
HAVE YOU BEEN TOUCHED BY NURGLE?

SOMETHING YOU WISH TO CONFESS? TO MY FLAMER?

>>43559874
*Burbles again, wandering away as he points his plasma mechadendrites at the bunker and fires a few shots*

>>43559897
NO- ACHOO- SISTER THERESIA- ACHOO- I HAVE A ALLERGY TO FELINES - ACHOO!
OH EMPEROR, WHERE IS A REBREATHER?!

>>43559886
THIS DOESNT ANSWER THE QUESTION!


-heavy breathing-

So we have a Xenos in the Bunker, dysfunctional Techpriests and no Vox-caster?

>>43559897
Someone put this man under quarantine!

>>43559866

>Nods, then returns to jamming a screwdriver into his metallic throat.

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*wears robes that are not quite the right shade of red for a tech priest and carries a gauss flayer with an imperial aquila crudely painted on the side* Why hello, fellow machine clerics! Would you care to direct me to the nearest primarch?

>>43559931
THERE ARE ENNEMIES OF THE IMPERIUM IN THAT BUNKER. WHY DO YOU CARE HOW THEY GOT THERE?

I HAVE MY HEAVY FLAMER, THE EMPEROR BY MY SIDE, AND A VOW TO DIE FOR HIM, IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?

>>43559966

>Drops his screwdriver and stares at the NotTechpriest before unleashing a series of deafening booms from his voice modulator, whilst pulling out a manual written in binary and offering it to the NotTechpriest.

>>43559989
THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!

>Draws Chainsword and runs towards the Bunker.


CHAAAAARGEEE! WE WILL RECLAIM THE FOOD RATIOSN FOR THE EMPEROR!!

>>43560016
>raises his lasgun
F-FOR THE EMPEROR- ACHOO!
LEAD US CORPORAL - ACHOO!

>>43560016
>Charges behind Cp Mittens, hoping to make his new lasgun to work.
For the Emperor, and his glory !

>>43560010
Ah ha yes, I do believe that the void dr- uh, machine god is the best!

>>43560016
>>43560030
>>43559989
>>43560035
*Burbles unhappily and follows after them with his two plasma gun toting Servo skulls, various mechadendrites redeploying.*

>Stands in front of the Bunker Entrance with a vacant stare.

>>43560067
>slams his lasgun to the ground, looking at all the other men
Corporal, can I make a spee- ACHOOO! I mean, Speech?

>>43560038
Now, do you know the whereabouts of the famous... *leafs through an imperial holy book* Gelato Khan?

>>43560016

>Backs up slightly before nicking an unattended las-pistol and following the Corporal whilst unleashing another series of deafening booms.

>>43560067
>Stops, nearly falling.
Sir, is there a problem ? Don't we're supposed to charge the bunker ?

>>43560082
I think it's a great idea !

>stumbles out of tent
I hear people shouting, this can't be good.

>notices people running towards bunker
Uh, Gary, do they know about the xenos murderbeast living in there?

>>43560082
>>43560103


W-What? Of course. But make it quick. We don't know what the Xenos is doing with the Supplies! But first we have to open this Door!

>>43560087
Turn down the noise and unlock the Bunker, Techpriest!

HEY SIS! ABOUT THRONE DAMNED TIME YOU SHOWED UP!

Yeah we got a Lictor in there, and I'm gonna personally see to it that bug gets squashed! But it's lying low, and that facility must be deeper than it looks. So uh, how about that confession I owe ya?

>>43560016
>>43560067
>>43560103
Keeps charging yelling "FOR THE EMPEROR"

>>43560116
*Burbles grumpily and presses the OPEN button on the door since they'd already been inside the bunker once before.*

*Automatically begins spraying fire and plasma inside because murderbeast and stupid guardsmen...*

>>43560116
*rams the door open with her foot*
DIE YOU VILE BEASTS

>>43560126
GARY GET IN HERE!

>>43560116
>>43560108
>>43560103
>>43560087
>turns to everyone
>puts on his rebreather
Men and women of the Penal Regiment..sons and daughters of the great Emperor of Mankind..the Xenos dare defy his will, the will of ALL of us! But together, united, we shall annihilate the foe, and together, united, we shall gain victory and get drunk together, die together, and be sent to the afterlife together! But until then, until then, we are guardsman, we are warriors, WARRIORS OF THE EMPEROR!
>Starts sneezing
>>43560130
FOR THE EMPEROR!
>Begins spraying everywhere

>>43560116
And you! Hold your fucking Aurochs cat boy, unless you want to wander in there and get your guys spilled! When Sis is ready, we'll head in there, but yall had better follow my cues if you wanna survive in there!

>Jumps away from the blastwave caused of the well-armed Techpriest.

>>43560151

ALRIGHT! JUST LET THE FLAMERS SPEAK!

>>43560116

>Unleashes another series of deafening booms at the Corporal before following the other Tech-Priest, stolen las-pistol in one hand.

>>43560130
>wait for barrage of flame to finish, prepare to enter bunker
Alright, time for round 2. Emperor preserve us all.

*eventually notices that everyone has left and sees the scuffle at the bunker*

Oh, is that where you keep your most sacred relics? I suppose I can "assist" you in reclaiming them!

Am I being too much like notanork? I don't want to seem like a copycat.

>>43560143
>Stands in awe besides Hank
Th... FOR THE EMPEROR !

>>43560136
>rush behind her, and proceed to fire, hoping to not blow someone brain if it's not an enemy

>>43560136
*grabs flamer and shotgun, charges in*

Ah, thanks Sis. *sniffs air*

It ain't close, I recommend we search for more supplies until I detect it, but still be damn careful...

disregard my last post

>>43560178

>Grabs the young guardsman attempting to rush headfirst into the flaming inferno and unleashing a series of deafening booms at him.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>43560185
Alright, where haven't we gone yet?

>look for doors

>>43560216
Corporal! It is pitch black in here!
>continues firing at the sounds from all around him

*Ceases firing small pieces of a sun and steps back to allow everyone else to go inside, burbling at his skulls to wait as well*

>>43560201
>Get stopped by the techpriest
S...Sorry... Thanks for saving me !

>>43560224
Don't we have a light or something ?

>>43560228
I guess it answers my question about light in the first place !

>>43560216
Think I saw a vehicle bay further on, the cogboys will be interested in that. But don't any of yall rush. We go room by room. Check for supplies and seal up any possible ingress routes our buggy friend might use. Especially air vents and loose ceiling panels.

>>43560224
>>43560228
>>43560239
HOLD YOUR DAMNED FIRE ORKBRAINS!

You've all got torches in your kits don't you? Use the damn things! And don't you cogboys have floodlights in all that machinery?

>>43560239
Uh.
...I may or may have not left it when we charged in-
>>43560228
Oh.

>>43560228
*slowly approaches after deploying a scarab painted white and equipped with a repulsor for hovering*

Would you like to compare files about how great the machine god is?

>sticks his head out the Chimera, holding a cup of tea.

Alright chaps, who's dead, who's in trouble and how many people tried to break my Chimera?


>>43559808
Alright mate? How's your Enginseering been going?

Apologies for my lateness everyone, I was doing unimportant stuff and I forgot about Penal Time Best Time until it just 'clicked'

>>43560269
There's gotta be some in here somewhere then.

SERVO SKULL! Find the damned generator so the cogboys can fix it!

>>43560267
>Begins to search for his light. Finds it, but can't turn it on.
How... Whe... Sir... I may not know how to use it... too...

>>43560278
>Get startled by the scarab.
BY HIS GREATNESS WHAT IS THIS THING ?!

>>43560267

>Responds with a series of deafening booms from his voice modulator before turning on a plasma welder

>>43560278
>Points into the doors of the bunker before responding with more deafening booms.

[Spoiler]this is my first time doing anything like this, am I doing anything wrong?[/spoiler]

>>43560280
>SALUTES
COLOUR SERGEANT ARTHUR "SKELLINGTON" WELLSLEY, SIR! I MADE A SPEECH! ARE YOU PROUD OF ME, SIR?
>>43560301
GET DOWN!
>Tackles clem
>Water drips nearby
That may be saliva.

>>43560304
Ah! I've got this!
*fires his gauss flayer at the door*
>>43560305
aside from spoilers of course

>>43560301
Knock it on your helmet until it works! Do I have to do everything around here myself?!

>>43560278
*looks dubiously at scarab, then at the strange newcomer*

What. In. The fuck. You know what, never mind. I have bigger problems.

>>43560301
It is but the newest Standard Template Construct, young fleshbag!

>Takes a look at the Corridor leading deeper into the Bunker.

"What is your guys problem? Its bright enough for me."

>Vanishes in one of the many Doors.

>>43560315
Mhm yes, quite proud Hank, quite proud. Would you perhaps require some allergy medication? I have injectibles if those would agree with you more.

>>43560305
>>43560329
you're ok, just need to be more subtle about being a disguised Necron.

>>43560363
I already have a rebreather on, sir! But thank you, sir! Do I have to keep saying sir everytime I acknowledge you, sir?

>>43560329

Not too badly.

>Hits his face with the palm of his hand before pointing at the darkness beyond the doors barely illuminated by the plasma torch.

>>43560315
>Being tackled, it triggers the light on his helmet.
You saved me ! Thanks !
>Don't notice the water dripping
What... ?

>>43560352
Sir, Hank helped me to light it on !

>Gets up, and look at Nyzart
>>43560352
Well... I'm not a techpriest... so I guess it's a good thing to have it with us... ?
>whispers
Even if it's scary...

>>43560373
Not at all Hank, just once at the end of your sentence or statement will do. Although you should keep your 'sirs' to the Officers once you know who the Sergeants are. For me it's just 'Sergeant' or 'Skelly'.

>>43560373
If you say it again, I'll take away your rebreather. Unless Skelly is ok with you calling him that...

>>43560267
*Deploys several lights, as well as having an ambient glow from plasma weapons.*

>>43560278
*Burbles negatively as he focuses on making sure his sonic detector is working.*

>>43560280
*Burbles positively at the Sergeant*


*Starts searching with a strange limb that pulses on the ground*

>>43560396
>turns the light on
>turns his light on
Wait, we had lights?
>>43560411
UNDERSTOOD, SIR!
>>43560415
....But..you're not a sir..

>>43560379
Is your primitive eye-lens not equipped with night vision? It's clear as day that the bunker is full of genestealers! Or maybe my vision is malfunctioning again. Oh well, that's the way the dynasty crumbles!

>>43560415
>chuckles quietly to himself.

It's alright Gary, but I appreciate the sentiment.

>pulls out a pack of Lho sticks, takes one out and extends the pack to Gary.

Want one mate? I think I've got a lighter somewhere....

>>43560411
>Acknollegde Sergeant Wellsley, and salutes him
It's an honor to serve for the Emperor with you Si... Sergeant !

>>43560431
It seems so. I can see clearly now, and no one is going to stop us to fight for our Glorious Emperor !

>Whispers to Hank
What is a "Gen-steeler" ?

>>43560446

>Absent-mindedly pushes the plasma torch towards the Sergeant with his mechadentride whilst pointing at the darkness and responding to the NotTechpriest with a series of deafening booms.

>>43560431
Exactly Hank, he's a Sergeant. Sergeants, myself included don't appreciate being called 'Sir'. Unlike -most- Officers, we actually work for a living.

>>43560428
Hey, do you have any binary translation implants that would agree with my brain?

>>43560432
>raises an eyebrow

You.....I'm sorry but, you what mate?

>>43560446
>notices that someone is nicknamed skellington

>whispers
Hail Sotekh

>>43560446
*uses flamer's pilot light*

I'm good, thanks pal.

Throooonedammit. Much noise as we're making, either the Lictor has fucked off and I've lost my kill - which will piss me off - or the shit will come outta nowhere, claws flyin - whichll mean some deaths

>>43560454
Mhm, just keep your wits about you and you'll make it through this.

>>43560466
>nods then raises his rifle and advances slowly.

Lets hope this Flak Jacket actually does it's job then. Osprey-Pattern is supposedly actually useful.

>>43560454
A gen-steeler? I dunno.
>>43560477
I see, I see!
>Still firing randomly

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>43560477
*Burbles in the negative, flashing around his weapons*

*Continues his search*

>>43560454
They weren't around sixty-five million Terran Solar Cycles ago, I can tell you that much!

Beep boop
>flies after the whole group after it fixed a random 404 in it's programming

had to do stuff, what have I missed?

>>43560550
*glares*

Fuck it. Stealth was never an option.

>>43560580
We've delved back into the bunker, lictor appears to have buggered off/is waiting for the right time to strike

>stumbles out of some nearby bushes clutching a demo charge, mumbling incoherently about bugs

HELLO! Silly Al'Raheez went sleep walking... one minute inside chimera, next minute angry bug everywhere!

What have I missed?!

>>43560580
Find the generator so the cogboys can get light in this place.

nothing to speak of

Can we assume that the pariah gene is still a thing? It seems fun to play with.

>>43560550
Check fire! You're just wasting your charge! All of you, keep your eyes open.

>>43560490
Sorry about it mate, but it's damn near impossible to get noise discipline out of these guys unless theirs a Commissar involved.

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>43560558
>Grip his hotshot a little more, ready to point at something
Well... at least it may sounds young... so we can kill it.

>Tries to focus more on the party's surroundings

How does the dice system work ? Do we need to do more than 50 to succeed or less ?

>>43560613
We're in a bunker, I stumble out from behind a door instead

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>43560617
Beep boop.
>does a little salute with one if it's claws as it flies of into a corridor

>>43560619
Definitely! It was one of those cool things that shouldn't have been retconned

>>43560620

>Concurs with the Sergeant through a series of deafening booms from his voice modulator

>>43560620
Yes sir!
>stops fir-
>wait..
>oh no
>WHAT IS THAT SOUND?
Skelly..I think I hear...CATS.

>>43560620
Fuck, there's*

>>43560655

>Glances quizzically at Hank, then begins counting the number of people with the group.

>>43560638
>Returns and starts to tug the pants of Gary the catachen, motioning him to go down the next corriodor to his right

>Upon seeing that the current situation probably doesn't require a demolition charge, stows it back in his pack, somewhat dejected.

So, fellow men of bug exterminating, what is mission?

>Readies lascarbine

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>43560639
Wait, pariah gene got retconned? What do Culexus assassins do now then?
Alright gents, are we all ready to delve deeper?
>look for doors

>>43560674
>A HORDE OF THE EVIL FELINE MIDGETS RACE TOWARDS THE GROUP
CAAAAAATTTTTTTTSSSSSS!

>>43560690

Necron Pariahs got retconned. The Pariah Gene hasn't.

Do we still have those 3 grav shutes btw or have you guys used them from something yet?

>>43560678
*goes that way*

Go tell the cogboys.

>>43560681
Searching for useful shit, remain on lookout for the Lictor

Before you are all torn apart by angry extragalactic insects, would anyone like to submit to a blood test? I need to check for... uh, space marine compatibility.

>>43560655
>signals for the squad to go firm(Halt).

Bloody cats, again? We'll need to make sure. If it's another one of those Nurglite bastards then we'll need bigger Flamers.

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>43560690
>Ready once more his lasgun.
Me and Hotty are ready.

>>43560705
How can you hear cats, I can't hear anything...
Holy Emperor !
>Shoot in the direction of those chaotic cats

>>43560713
Beep!
>flies to the techpreists and relays in binary that a door to a possible genreator room has been found in hallway D5/3c. Or in meatbag terms, the next hallway to your right

>>43560714
*raises brow*
There'll be plenty of blood to mop up soon enough...

>>43560733
You still use binary? Would you like a rudimentary lesson on the far superior trinary?

>>43560674

>Finishes counting, and activates a klaxon whilst indicating a one on his fingers.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>43560728
Wha-.....By the Emperor! Form ranks and start firing!

1d20 is usually the dice used for Combat here but, eh, it's not set in stone either.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>43560728
>>43560793
SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THEM!
>begins firing at the endless horde of cats

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>43560793
>starts firing
Emperor no, I'm not dying from bloody chaotic cats!

>>43560793
> starts firing his gauss flayer at the cats.

I'LL SHOW YOU DESPAIR, VILE SERVANT OF THE NEW GODS!

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>Readys and throws a frag grenade into the approaching horde of chaos cats

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>43560793
>Continues to spray these cats with "Hotty"

Ok, I note that !

WE NEED TO GET TO A DIFFERENT ROOM, THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM!
AND MY ALLERGIES ARE ACTING UP!

>>43560821
here's hoping I can finally get rolling to work on mobile.

>Deactivates his voice modulator and speaks to the other techpriest and NotTechpriest in Binary.
>"You think they noticed the Felinid Corporal that has gone missing? You think the cats have any meaning with that?"
>Pulls out his stolen laspistol.

>>43560825
BAD THING HAPPEN WITH GRENADE! NEXT ROOM, LETS GO!

>>43560838
god fucking dammit.

>>43560864
>Follows Al'Raheez, taking a break from firing

>>43560834
Don't you have a rebreather ?! IS IT NOT WORKING ?

>>43560895
IT'S NOT! THE SCENT..ITS GOING THROU-
>ACHOO!
>Sneezes on Clem

I've never participated in these threads before, what exactly are the cats? I kind of guessed that they're some sort of nurglite daemon, but I'm probably off.

>>43560929
they are cats.
they are literally just cats.
EVIL ABOMINATIONS OF NURRGGLLLEEE

Dammit. Chaos cats again. I didn't even manage to get those pests from the last time complely out of my armoury.

>>43560923
>Disgusted by the sneezing
I think we'll need to find some tissue to clean this mess !

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>43560864

>Ducks into Hallway D5/3c, locks the door behind him and begins fiddling with the generator

I must afk, sorry, I'll be back in 30 minutes

>>43560947
Forgott name

So, about those blood tests...

>>43560951
SORRY!
>>43560957
HEY, LET US IN!

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>43560864
>fires off a burst to cover the retreat as he follows Al.

Bloody Warp. We've got to clear these things out, they were bad enough last time.

>>43560865
Are you using dice+Number of dice+Sides of dice? If you are then I'm legitimately confused as to what's causing your dice problems.

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>Fixes the slightly-chewed generator and presses the on button, restoring the power to the bunker.
>Begins searching for items to barricade the door with

>>43561010
WHY HAS THE EMPEROR ABANDONED ME THIS DAY!?

>>43560994
I can open your primitive structure compartmentalization device!

> plugs an arm into the nearby control port, annoying the wall servitor.

Seriously though, I need to test your blood.

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>43561010
I am this time, let's see what happens.

> continues to try and open the door.

>>43560957
>bangs on door
Let us in for the Emperor's sake, we're drowning in the furry incarnations of Chaos!

>>43561034
JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

>>43561034

>Welds several loaded steel containers full of replacement parts to the door whilst fervently apologizing to the machine spirits in binary.

>The Unholy horde of furry abominations all begin leaping at everyone
>There must be hundreds of them
>PRAY TO THE EMPEROR

Rolled 11 (1d100)

Enough! Cats of damnation, go back to the warp!

>throws primed demolition charge into the midst of the furry onslaught

>>43561086
Dear Void Dragon. I know we tried to kill you, but I'd really appreciate some help right now. Love, Nyzart.

Will all you idiots stop shouting! The cats aren't coming in here, so stop banging on that door like Whiteshields and guard the entrance. NOW!

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>43561110
>attempts to pry open the door.

>>43561101
>the demo charge bounces out from the midst of the furry abominations, falling down a ventilation shaft. Around 10 seconds later, a distant but large explosion is heard and the whole bunker rumbles slightly before coming to a standstill.

Oops.

>>43561113
>his rebreather breaks
>he falls on the ground, coughing and sneezing
Sir..my..REBREATHER!

*yawns, gets up in a vent alcove, watching for the Lictor*

I'll let yall handle this one.

I like how the two highest rolls are for a single techpriest pressing the on button and barricading a door to stop all the horrible monstrosities from getting in.

>>43561135
>with a feat of average-for-a-robot-strength, manages to pry open the door by about eleven inches

>>43561113
There appears to be some confusion as to what side of the door everyone's on.

>>43561161
Jungle man, the lictor may go to investigate that explosion that I...uh...caused

From what I know, I ducked into the door on the right where the Servo Skull told me where the generator was and locked the door before anyone else could get in, and the cats seem to be coming in from another room.

I think.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

Damnit it all, controlled fire men! I didn't survive the battle of Rorke's Landing to be killed by cats!

>>43561194
this was my interpretation also

>>43561172
Man of metal silliness has barricaded behind the door! Let us find another room...

>>43561186
*sets stun mines further down air shaft, returns to alcove, pulls bandanna down over eyes*

I'll follow the screams if it shows up there.

>>43561194
That's what I thought too.

>>43561179
Nyet comrade, that was my bad for not refreshing the page first. I posted that enemy cat were not follow into unbarricade room in error. Many thousand apologize.

>>43561152
Oh hell!

>pulls an injector from his pack and jabs it into Hank's neck.

You'll be fine in a minute lad. Just keep breathing! Small breaths, you can do it.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

*fires bolt pistol at cats while charging the enemy with a power sword*
Purge them! Purge them all! In the name of the Emperor! Let nobody survive!

>>43561228
>starts crying
Sir..I don't want to die..here..with a horde of cats..
>They continue their onslaught across the entire bunker
>Guardsman upon guardsman fall to the absolutely adorable mass of cats

> the door clamps shut on Nyzart's hands, pinning him there

Ah shit.

>Continues jamming a screwdriver into his throat to fix the fucking volume knob by the Omnissiah that was loud.

File: Tallarn_Brawler.jpg (271KB, 761x1143px) Image search: [Google]

271KB, 761x1143px

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>fires lascarbine into the horde of cats

>>43561241
>draws a large, curved Tallarn blade and follows the quartermaster into close combat

>>43561228
Do you remember the issue Hank had with cats. I think we need a little more than a little stringe.

>>43561248
Al'Raheez! I need you to grab my gau- uh, super hotshot lasgun and defend me from the cats! There's only a small chance that it will vaporize you on firing!

File: Tempestus_Scions.jpg (243KB, 859x1116px) Image search: [Google]

243KB, 859x1116px

Get up guardsman, the Militarum Tempestus is here! You will die with a weapon in your arms or you will dishonor the god emperor of mankind. Now get up!
>Redies a flamer and tries to burn the cats

Rolled 19 (1d20)

*keeps punching and slashing the cats*
I am the hammer of the Emperor! I am his burning wrath! Die scum! Die!
For the glorious Imperium of Man!

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>43561246
You're not going to die here Guardsman! The Emperor will not see us fall to damned cats! But we all must do our part, STAND AND FIRE TROOPER!

I swear down mate if I get another crap roll I'm switching to 1d100's. This isn't even funny anymore. Also don't worry about those other Guardsman that died. That's what redshirts are supposed to do. You not see the armband?

>>43561280
frogot to roll, and changed the name to look better

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>43561333
dammit, messed up the roll, trying again

>Finishes with the screwdriver and checks on the door, noticing Nyzart's hands stuck inbetween them.

>>43561312
*Crawls out of seemingly nowhere and starts spinning the crank of his gun* IT'S MEAL TIME!!! *fires the crank cannon wildly at the cats, cackling maniacally* IT'S LIKE THE HUNT ON MARA AGAIN!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>43561280
Where in the Warp did you come? You know what, doesn't matter. You're up and firing so it's good enough for me.

>continues firing at the cats.

>>43561268
Trust me, it'll do the job. It's VERY powerful stuff.

>>43561312
YES SIR!
>Leans on skelly's leg and fires at the cats
F-FOR THE EMPEROR- ACHOO!

>>43561343
HELP!!!

>Finally, the chaotic horde of cats end
>thousands of dead corpses of cats are everywhere, along with useless guardsmen

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>43561351
forgot to roll

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>Attempts to use a plasma torch to cut off the metal around the hands, a piece of metal on-hand to seal the hole after it is done.

>>43561343
*still fighting in cqc against the enemy*
Techpriest is there anything you can do to stop this endless pile of chaos cats?

Techpriest is hiding behind a barricaded door. Techpriest cannot help you here.

I've turned the power on, thought! Atleast bunker is illuminated!

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>43561374
> tries to push through the door before the tech priest can weld it again

>>43561369
*Climbs out of a pile of dead cats, completly soaked wth blood and covered in ripped of fur*
Good now we have to find the source of this taint and purge it.

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>Attempts to weld the hole shut before the NotTechpriest can force his way through.

>>43561377
Are they still coming? My Deceiver this is horrifying!

>>43561388
*hears lights clack on*

Well, that's one problem solved...

>>43561412
This seemed to be the last one. Are you new in this regiment. I have never seen you before.

Alright men, check the wounded and get me a CasRep, then take five. Drink some water, get a ration in you if you have one. Just cause the cats are dead doesn't mean the day's over.

>>43561212
>raises a hand to activate his combead.

Gary, comcheck, I need your opinion on something.

>>43561408
Listen, I know where a bunch of STCs are! I'll tell you if you just let me through!

>>43561431
>gets back to fixing his rebreather
>a cat meows at him
>hank grabs the cat and rips its head off
ARRRRRRAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

>>43561430
Ah yes. I was transferred here yesterday to check everyone's blood for... spaced mariner compatibility. Would you like to see if you're lucky enough to be one of the corpse god's finest?

>>43561433

>Lets out a burst of static.
>"Are the cats gone yet?"

>>43561431
*comes through*

Yeah?

>Covered in fur and blood. The blood of kittens.

>>43561275
Sorry comrade! I was make busy kill evil cat daemons!

>>43561464
They are dead.

>>43561497

>Begins undoing the barricades on the door.

>>43561516
> hands the techpriest an electronic blueprint for a ghost ark
Here you go! As promised!

>>43561448
Fuck me, I'd say the meds just kicked in.

>>43561463
That doesn't sound right. Usually the Marines do that themselves don't they?

>>43561463
I am one of the Emperors finest. I just don`t need genetical optimations to purge the Mutant, the Heretic and the Xeno.

>>43561548

>Unlocks the door, steps out, and looks at the pile of dead cats whilst unleashing a burst of static.

>>43561549
>>43561533
Well, I just do what Mars tells me. Speaking of genes, is there anyone in your platoon that gets an inordinate amount of hate for seemingly no reason?

>>43561549
>salutes
I think we did it, sir!
>>43561580
Um..me.

>>43561485
>walks away from the rest of the group and whispers into the comms.

Alright mate, this is my problem. Depending on how many of those completely useless wankers survived, I might need to head into orbit, but the problem is I don't know who to send down as a replacement.
Regimental Ensign needs combat experience but...well she's my sister and, eh, Penal Regiments have a 'reputation', aye? What do I do mate?

>>43561594
*cough*no reason*cough*

>>43561594
Well kiddo, how would you like to be a war machine! I just have to prick your finger like so...

>draws blood

>speaks under his breath

Hmm, no pariah gene detected.

Sorry bud! You don't have what it takes to be an astartes!

>>43561628
Man of suspicious robot disposition! What is this of blood and astartes?

>Grabs a cat corpse and sticks it onto the end of his stolen las-pistol as a sort of ineffective, macabre silencer.

>>43561618
...
Uhuh..
>>43561628
Thank the Emperor, I never wanted to be those guys anyway!

>>43561632
I just need to see if anyone in this regiment has the right gene set to be right for the space marines! Then I'll take any probable candidates with me on an adventure to the stars where you'll be transformed into a terrifying machine of war!

>>43561602
Pffft, pal, I don't know if you've noticed, but this ain't no regular penal regiment. Seems like anyone sent here just pissed off the wrong person. Me and Gibbers are about the only ones your average Imperial citizen oughta worry about. Send the girl on down, she'll be fine.

But that makes me wonder, were you here on punishment or not? How do you just get to go up into orbit?

>>43561640
Oh boy it's time to POSTAL! What will Enginseer Guy have to find today?! Find out......RIGHT NOW.

>reappear from under pile of cat corpses
Well, that's them dealt with, it appears.
Ah, the power's back on, fantastic.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>43561654
What a crock of groxshit...

*throws empty bottle at him, to see if it shatters on his head*

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>43561678
> tries to hit the bottle out of the air

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>43561678

>Stumbles over as a beer bottle crashes against the back of his head, causing him to accidentally discharge the las-pistol, evaporating the cat corpse but not stopping the las-beam...

*a loud curse is heard in the background*
WHICH ONE OF YOU IDIOTS FIRED AT A PIECE OF CEILING THAT DROPPED ON MY HEAD?

I HAVE BEEN OUT COLD FOR HOURS! I COULD HAVE BEEN HIT.

NOW ALLOW ME TO CATCH UP AND CATCH MY BREATH

Will read through your shenanigans and come back after my evening class

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>43561699
>dodge out of the way of stray las-bolt
Sodding hell, watch that thing!

>>43561700
Perhaps accident with charge of demolition earlier is to blame... All big misunderstanding, no ones fault!

>laughs nervously

>>43561699
>dives to the ground

>>43561656
I suppose you're right, most of the troops I've actually gotten to know are good lads, along with the odd good lass, it's the ones that I haven't gotten to know that worry me. There are at least -some- of the 'usual' type of Penal Guardsmen here.

As for why my group is here, our parent Regiment got decimated and this one was the closest unit to shove us into. Just "Your service is commended but off to the Penal Regiment with you". True you guys are decent, but still.

Oh! I might have to go to Orbit to make sure those twats that got injured don't try to nick what few meds we actually have. Like I said, we've got the 'good guys' and then the 'usual guys'. Hopefully I won't though.

>>43561700
*smirks*
It was one of the cogboys Sis!

>>43561737
>gets hit in the leg by a las-bolt, falls to the ground
ARGH!

I'm going to assume Gary threw the beer bottle, NotTechpriest tried to bat the bottle out of the air, missed, beer bottle struck 9, who fired the las-pistol by accident at Fanner, evaporated the cat corpse, bounced off Fanner, missed Raheez by inches then flew off into the darkness and struck the ceiling above the Sister.

I know canonically las-blasts can't reflect off people but Omnissiah damn if I can't have fun assuming ridiculous shit.

Anybody else want to get their blood tested?

>>43561798
>grits teeth, starts rubbing burn gel on the wound
Gah, I've had worse. Give me a couple of minutes, I'll catch up.
IRL stuff, I'll be back in 20mins

>>43561815
Begone with tests of blood! Only true test of a warrior is the test of battle!

>>43561765
Heh, alright. Figured you were from money. Think it'd be interesting if I babysit some little rich girl...

>>43561805

Well, not darkness. The lights are no, after all. Damn I need to stop forgetting that I fixed and turned on the generator.

>>43561836
In that case, do you know where I can meet any of the primarchs? I've heard that a certain Gelato Khan was last seen near the eye of terror.

>>43561863

>Recovers from his collision with a beer bottle, then lets out a burst of binary whilst looking around for anyone that could have possibly thrown a beer bottle.

>>43561863
...what? I have challenged you in ancient Tallarn traditional duel! BRING FORTH YOUR BOOT AS WE BEGIN THESE FISTICUFFS

>>43561885
presumably I know binary, what did you say?

>>43561907
>removes both boots from feet before wielding one as a weapon

>>43561910

Well, "Who threw that bottle?"

>>43561907
Oh my, what fun! I haven't dueled anyone in millenia! Shame what happened to poor Tardokh.

>>43561844
Honestly mate, my family has enough to qualify as 'rich', but not enough to save us from the will of the Munitorum or the Administratum. You'd need to be in the Lord's Court to do that
And truth be told it would probably make me feel at ease if you were looking out for her.

But like I said, might be that nothing comes of the injured and I get to stay down here.

>looks around
Guys..I think we found our source of the infestation..

>>43561946
Yes, draw forth your boot and let us begin, foolish robot boy

>>43561919
> extends his pointer finger until it is two feet long

Engarde!

>>43561988
THIS IS MOST UNUSUAL AND DISHONORABLE

How must I be expected to duel with a man who does not wield the ceremonial boot? Truly you are a disgrace to your clan.

>>43561968
rolf?

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>Attempts to quietly steal the other boot...

>>43562028
I've been playing a very thinly veiled rolf with a bit more of a middle eastern twang, yep

>>43562013
I am sorry my friend, I have no footwear as my only clothing is this red robe. Perhaps another time?

>>43562180
Here, let me get that for you.
>removes boot, places on end of Nyzart's finger

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>43562227
Engarde!

>Stuffs the Tallarn's other boot with a dead cat before placing it back where it was.

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>43562236
Aha, I see you use the El'Ra'Hereem technique. A BOLD CHOICE.

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR AN ALMIGHTY BEATING

>>43562257

Keep in mind I'm stuffing the cat into the boot in such a way that it's literally staring out the boot with it's dead eyes.

>>43561964
Heh, so bottom of the top huh? I hear ya. And yeah, I'll do this for ya.

So are you leaving and letting your irl sister take over or something? Or just introducing a new character?

>The detective steps aside, as he is not wearing his riot gear at the moment.

Without my kit, I'd just be getting in the way.

>Mutters under his breath
..more to the point, I'm sure my people are responsible for at least one of you being here.

>Back to normal speaking
And for the record, Sergeant, Genestealer cults can and do fall to the ruinous powers in addition to their normal heretical inclinations. That's what's known in the cult beat as a "shit show." You have fun with that.

sorry i'm late, i forgot the exact time

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>43562269
El'Ra'Heem? I invented El'Ra'Heem!

> attempts a jab at the tallarner's chest

>>43562313
>is ripping the heads off the dead corpses of cats
>and the entire bunker is filled with dead bodies of cats and guardsman
>and blood is everywhere

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>43562317
>attempts to parry and deliver a punishing blow across Nyzart's face

I doubt you highly robot son of a sandsnake!

>>43562357
>Falls backward through the door, bowling over techpriest 9

>>43562378

>Unleashes a burst of static as he attempts to push the heavy form of the NotTechpriest off of him.

>>43562341

>Glares at the deranged guardsman and brandishes his shockfist in anticipation of an attack

Stop right there, criminal scum! Just what in the name of our God-Emperor are you doing?

>>43562378
Superior Tallarn duelling technique prevails! Consider our feud settled.

>goes to put boots on before seeing the cat poking out

WHO DARES INSULT THE SON OF A TANKER

>>43562416
..Everyone else is doing it, Detective?

>>43562341
Emperor's mercy, Hank, calm dow-

>>43562278
>turns to see the dead cat's gaze on him, staring into his eyes
Heheh, hey buddy...
>shifts uncomfortably
Ok, who put the cat in the boot? Who though that would be funny?

>>43562305
Cheers mate, you're a lifesaver.

New character, assuming I do the switch, might flip a coin. I have them ready incase Arthur bites the dust because maximum pessimism. Admittedly most of them are blatant Sharpe rip-off's but hey, they ARE Praetorians after all.

>>43562313
Chaotic Genestealers? Well looks like things could get infinetly more interesting.

> projects a holographic screen and begins shitposting on 4cron

>>43562446
>>43562452

>Points to the corporal with his unarmed thumb, still on guard for attack.

Well, he's not. And you would do well to follow his example. While it's not a violation of imperial law, it is suspicious as hell.

>>43562341
>>43562446

By the Emperor.
Trooper Hank, ATTENTION!

>has turned his attention back to his group and is obviously NOT amused.

That goes for the rest of you! Line up on the double! THAT MEANS NOW!

>>43562548
YES SIR!
>Lines up, saluting
>>43562525
>is busy trying not to get shot by skelly

>Attempts again to futilely push the heavy NotTechpriest off of him.

>>43562522
> still sitting on techpriest 9, shows no sign of moving
Haha what a fleshfag.

I will make a new thread each Monday, but, if you guys want to, extra sessions can be arranged too.

>>43562548
*Goes to line, eating a fistful of cat*

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>43562570
>>43562579
Alright men, lets get those Techpriests untangled. I don't even understand how they managed that.

Rolling to get Nyzart off 9

I've run out of things for Nyzart to do. Any suggestions?

>>43562707
Fook, forgot the ">attempts to shove Nyzart off the pinned Techpriest". Kill me quickly lads.

Don't worry you're alright.

By the way, I think we've hit autosage.

>>43562707
Why thank you! This calls for a reward!

> hands the officer a blueprint for a monolith

>>43562720
Um.....I'm honestly not too sure. He could be helpful in his own unique way. Like with Kommando for example, who I am certain is an Ork that had his brain painted purple and forgot he was an Ork. Nyzart could go about 'upgrading' things with subtly Necron tech and dishing out 'STC's', as one would expect of a Techpriest. Maybe go about trolling Chaos, admittedly we sort of have a Chaos shortage right now, but you could always go 'find' one.....

>>43562705

>gawks at hal for a minute, but closes his mouth and shakes his head quickly.

I guess this is what passes for normal around here...

I'm assuming Nyzart is disguised somehow

>>43562720
>>43562796
BUGGER ME DEAD. I forgot the spoiler......FFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>43562753
That went by....unusually quickly. We could make a new thread if everyone's for it? We had an extra thread last time.

>>43562763
No thanks needed Enginseer. But...it may come in useful later.

>accepts the blueprint and sticks it in a belt pouch.

Monolith made out of Baneblades. IT'S HAPPENING.

>>43562823
I'm wearing a
Techpriest robe that's the wrong shade of red

>>43562823
*Waves with the only remaining, mutated (Very clawy. Much sharp. Wow.) arm* Hi there! Want to have a taste? Not as good as a heretic but not too bad either! *grabs more dead cats from pocket*

>>43562872
WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS? I'm not even tired! I'm just.....I think Tzeentch is cursing me today.

>>43562902
>is still standing in line saluting
Sir..my arm hurts.

>>43562872
I'll make new ones every Monday, but I'll be joining any extras if you guys decide to make them

Jesus guys I go away for two hours and we hit bump limit

>>43562914
Want cat? There is plenty for once!

>>43562914
Hm? Oh yes my apologies. At ease! Now will someone -please- get me a CasRepHow many dead, how many injured. I fully assume and encourage the pulling of numbers out of arses so I know how imperically fucked we are?

>>43562897

I..i think i'll pass.

>thinking to himself "well, at least it eats heretics.."

>>43562938
we could just do rolling threads like the WoD general does

> Lets out a burst of static before standing in line with Hank.

I'll be unavailable for a while fellas, be back soon as I can be

>>43562974
..Pls no.
>>43562977
Sir! We have 13 Injured Guardsmen, 78 Dead, and over three thousand cats killed!
The bunker was huge sir! We mourn their loss.
And I think we found the source of the cat infestation.

>>43562977
387 thousand, missing unaccounte- no, wait, that was the landing massacre...

>>43562938
>>43562959
I'd definetly say new thread. But my vote is but one of the many. If there's enough interest then YOLO. If not then I'll go back to stealing large numbers of South Africans and Russians.

>>43563024
Good work, how many of the injured are critical?
Rest of you dismissed, get some water in you and try not to duel this time.

>>43563047
W-what? When did that happen?

>looks genuinely confused.

>>43563047
..W-WHAT?!
>>43563146
All are critical injured, sir.
Half of the regiment is dead, sir.
this one wants a new thread right now, cause i have nothing else to do and this is the hour where our usual people get on

>>43563216
Fantastic, looks like I probably will be headed shipside after all. Damnit.

>raises his hand and covers his face with it.

Cheers Hank. Make sure to drink something, eat too if you havent. Dismissed.

>>43563329
Yes sir.
>goes and begins cleaning up the bodies of cats and guardsmen

sorry I was gone, I had to walk two miles in the rain. Anyways, I vote we bake fresh bread

>>43563422
Wanna create a new thread right now?

I'm back, my internet died in the last session, sorry...

>>43563422
I'd say we have enough votes to do it.
>Preparing Ingredients.archivefile
>Heating Oven.archivefile
>Into the belly of cooker.archivefile

>>43563452
I would be in.

>>43563478
SIR! YOU STARTED A KITCHEN FIRE, THE THREAD IS READY! AAAAAAHHH!