Imagine being Alexis in that match and having to be all like

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Imagine being Alexis in that match and having to be all like "damn, Arsene Wenger, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight tactics and horrific squad selection. I would totally play for you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is win titles for a real club. Like seriously imagine having to be Alexis and not only play in that match while Arsene Wenger flaunts his disgusting squad in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing the shitstains and his leathery skin, and just stand there, pass after misplaced pass, hour after hour, while he sat there. Not only having to tolerate the monstrous tactical setup but his haughty attitude as everyone on the bench tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, ARSENE WENGER PLAYS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to play and watch his incompetent fucking team selection contort into types of formation you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been playing with nothing but a healthy diet of Messi's and Xavi's and later Neymar's for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Chile. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his wrinkled forehead as he looks to gawk suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to play at this football club and revel in his "statuesque (for that is what he calls himself)" tactics, the beauty he worked so hard for with the coaches in the previous months. And then the director calls for another match, and you know you could kill every single person on the pitch before the stadium security could put you down, but you play and endure, because you're fucking Alexis. You're not going to lose your future champions league titles over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.