NEWCASTLE vs TOTTENHAM Official Match Thread #1

5-1 Newcastle

>>77614209
rafa gunna school these bitches

10-10 draw

>still no signings
>still no right back

Is it too late to get Yedlin back?

>>77614228
What a day that was

>dummett

need colback as well for true comedy appeal

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>yfw Kyle Walker's middle name is Peter

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Is this 2muchass lads?

>>77614245
If you're a twink yes

foys
\o/

>>77614245
She's just fat mate. I used to like girls like that, until I had a go on one. She looked like shit with her clothes off. Same thing happened again, and again. "Thicc" is just a meme. Go for thin girls and don't look back.

7-3 Newcastle

>>77614245
Disgusting

t. not a twink

>>77614265
You're a dicklet then lad

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is this offside lads?

Is Lamela still dead?

>>77614272
No, I just don't like fat girls.

>>77614274

Yes

>>77614281
You are a dicklet regardless

>>77614274
Yes

>>77614274
Yes, because he's ahead of the ball and the last man

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missed my flight, now i'm in a bar all alone watching this and drinking a beer.

at least i have my /sp/ bros right?

>>77614272
He's right, they are disgusting. They're actually completely vile once they have their clothes off.

They have huge guts and fat man arms. If they practice standing at a certain angle, wear tight clothes and play around on Instagram with the photo they look alright. In reality they just look like fat girls, because they are fat girls.

>>77614299
>being bald unironically
JUST

Based jonjo shelvy

>>77614299

Robben pls go

Nice flags desu

>Tottenham playing in pyjamas

Bold.

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>>77614299
>the famous beerlets of holland

>>77614299
Would drink beer with/10

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thoughts?

>>77614320
Thanks I made it myself

>that pic of Rafa

>manquillo

top kek

>kyle walker now plays for two teams

>>77614329
West Ham are going to meme the Munichs.

>>77614338
I'm not happy about it either

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>Sissoko

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WHEN

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>inb4 sissoko actually decides to put effort in against us

>>77614349
Will assist

>>77614352
I would probably kill myself if I was that tall.

>Spuds fullbacks

This is going to be fun.

>Shelvey immediately hoofs it out for a throw in

Get used to seeing that lads

>this fucking kit clash

fuck off

Making a bacon sandwich lads, brown or red sauce?

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>>77614359
i am exactly that tall

>>77614310
there was a time when i did it ironically, and then i actually started balding. i have a problem with it, it sucks.
>>77614325
cheers mate.

>>77614366
Are you blind m8

>>77614366
Seriously, it's terrible to look at.

>dark top, white shorts and socks
>light top, black shorts and socks

This shouldn't be allowed. It's such a shit colour scheme.

I thought Kyle Walker left?

>>77614367

Red, brown is for sausages. (Unless if you're putting other ingredients in)

>>77614381
just regenerated

>>77614366
Just look at the shorts. (it doesn't make you a gay)

>>77614373
prolly a 240p stream

why did spurs show up in a training kit

>>77614381
no, he plays on the right

Do poocsdtle have even one premier league quality player

>>77614373
no, it's pretty bad in the shaded areas of the pitch

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Make them change kits at half time. I WILL NOT WATCH THIS.

Why haven't some Arabs bought Newcastle?

>>77614399
Matt Ritchie is bretty gud

>booing Sissoko

Rude desu

>tfw newcastle does worst of all promoted sides this season

>boosoko

>>77614299
>posting a pic of yourself on /sp/

If I see you in the street I'm gonna tickle your bollocks mate

sissoko pls go

>these commentators calling Newcastle fans ungrateful for booing Sissoko

He was shit, that's why they're booing him

BOO

>gayle

>>77614417
>Worse than boorighton
Unlikely

>>77614420
How did Spurs allow to be scammed like that? Maybe it's some kind of money laundering?

>>77614352
>>77614359
Tbf Alderweireld and Vertonghen are both like 6'4", so Davies and Walker-Peters aren't as short as they look here

>gayle

>don't even bother to mark Sissoko

Fucking lel

More like Le gay

Gayle WILL score a winner against Liverpool this season. Feels good.

Nobody marking sissoko. SHIT tier organization.

>>77614422
>thinking football fans can think beyond >traitor and >snake

>lasted 4 minutes in the prem

>booing Walker-Peters because he's black and they think he's Sissoko
Typical racist northerners

>>77614422
fans don't boo players they thought were shit

>gayle
>kane not passing it

this new prem league logo and theme grew on me, i thought it looked like shit first time i saw it.

Tottenham's away kit is fucking awful. Why not just make it all-blue, like last season?

>getting injured during the first game of the season

Must be so fucking sad.

>>77614451
These fans clearly do

>>77614453
sit on my face please

Can't wait for FPL captain Kane to score a hattrick today boys. Also Alderwerield to score a cheeky header please.

>dummett injured

Newcastle win confirmed la

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>>77614453
Mommy

>>77614422
>dub dubs
nice
I think it was more that he showed at the euros he can be good if felt like it, and was constantly crooning over champions league clubs like a thirsty motherfucker, no respect in the lad

>Gayle

Why the fuck are they booing Sissoko? He was shit and they made £30mil off him

>>77614456
it is, the shorts just clash

>>77614460

poor millionaire :-(

>>77614453
fucking love fat girls

>>77614476
Gotta boo someone

If football was played without the ball, Sissoko would be a multi-Ballon d'Or winner.

As it stands, he'd be a terrific fit for West Bromwich Albion.

>lascelles coming on
who the fuck is playing left back now

>>77614467
>kane scoring in august

why do euros always wear their initials on their tracksweats?

>>77614484
Clark I guess. The curse of being a lefty.

>red numbers on the Newcastle kit

Not sure how I feel about this lads.

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>>77614478

>>77614422
Sissocko was one of their best players before he left.

But he's clearly not a system baby.

>>77614372
>i have a problem with it, it sucks

Nah, it seems to suit you. Going bald is only bad for baby faced memers.

>>77614490
at least it's not the meme back 3 formation

>>77614476
just a bit of banter innit m80

>>77614493
The numbers used to be red, stop outing yourself as a casual.

>>77614476
It's a meme. >We did it to one of our ex-players on return too. He played like five games or something and he got booed out of the pitch

I rate Dembele

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Son on now please for sissoko.

Now

>>77614486
>not taking into account kane playing extra tournys the last 2 years
Hes gonna score in august

>>77614486
This, Kane has literally never scored in August for Spurs in any competition. He might as well not exist until October.

i rate EPL hooffball

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>>77614453

>Sissoko

ayyyyyyyyy

>>77614517
I rate Dresden's anti-aircraft guns

Reminder there are people who unironically believe Spurs will finish top 4

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>it's a pundits and commentators pretend Deli Alli is a midfielder and not a striker episode

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Who is more overrated, Lloris or Courtois?

>>77614496
No he wasn't.

He was an attacking midfielder and scored first goal of the season on a final day.

Had also only like 3 assists the entire season. Massive fraud.

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>>77614512
>Son on now please for sissoko
>being drunk this early

>>77614533
>it's a pundits and commentators pretend Deli Alli is good episode

>>77614531
They'll finish 6th behind Huddersfield

>>77614529

i rate affordable health care

Allis fucking shite man

>>77614535
Yes.

anyone got a good acestream link?

>Watching a Spurs game

Why, you have a trouble getting sleep?

>>77614533
he is a midfielder in my fantasy team, captain too.

>>77614259
>I change my sexual preferences based on memes
you are a walking joke

>>77614548
https://sumo.tv2.no/?referrer=tv2no_logo

Sissokho is the biggest meme in existence

>>77614496
>one of their best players before he left.
That just shows how fucking woeful that relegated team was tbqh

Hope it's a draw at least. Don't like hotspurs.

BOOOOOOOOOOO

>>77614549

>highest scoring team in PL last season

fuck off you white bitch

>>77614548
yeah

>>77614552
how else would you get into traps or furry shit if it weren't for memes?

>>77614557
that isn't how you spell shola ameobi

>>77614533
Because some autistic frog poster on an Indonesian basket weaving forum knows more than actual football pundits

And by the way sweetie, dele IS a midfielder

Imagine being sponsored by sports direct

owt happened yet?

please stop talking about traps and gay stuff, this is a christian board

I thought lascelles was newcastle captain. why is he not starting?

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Why is sissoko playing. So many other options. Bring on son. Or push dembele forward and play wanyama. Add poch. Even winks lad

What does alli actually do other than score tap ins

>>77614564
Thanks to those few 6-0 matches but overall they are quite boring to watch. Still not as boring as Manure last season though

>>77614552
Fat chicks are a literal meme though. It's just another way for women to assert power over men, by making them think they're gay or "not able to handle a real woman" if they don't like fat disgusting farm animals.

>>77614581
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>77614586
He is on the pitch lad look again

>>77614580
Better than all the gook ones that you can't even read.

booossa sissoko

that away spurs kit is tidy innit lads

>>77614575
Ummm no sweetie. He spend the entire game on the edge of, or inside, the box. He doesn't create chances for anyone. All he does is score goals.

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>>77614582

>>77614591
Act like a hard cunt despite weighing 40 kg

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>tfw come out of a 5 year long depression and can actually enjoy sports again

>>77614548
28fb1a59832f74472908ad587e8efc4230bda0af

Shelvey for fucks sake

>>77614592
>people think Manure will win the title

>>77614538
Shut up. Explain why he started?

>>77614591
he made that commercial for bt sports

>>77614588

Go watch gaelic football u bellend because you obviously have no idea how real football works

You can kill someone so long as they were offside first

disgusting

>>77614601
*brrrrfft

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>>77614582
>Christian board

>>77614591
Kick the defender

>>77614611
Ask Poochettino, probably looked fit in training or something.

>>77614607

Welcome back

>>77614620
That's pretty much the rule, yes.

>>77614620
Dont be offside then. EZ

>>77614605
Well, 2D traps are cute because they're drawn as girls, 3D is PD no matter what.

literally HATE sissoko lads

>>77614601
what city is that

>>77614620
nah.. that would probably be red

butfirst infraction stops the play

>>77614628
>being this new

I wonder if Walker Peters will turn out good.

Also I'm saying now Janssen will score 10+ this year.

>>77614614

Go fuck yourself la

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>>77614605
final warning

>>77614636
A man of exquisite taste.

Who /over20/ here?

21 here BTW

>he thinks ayyyoze won't score yet again against spurs
c'mon

>>77614602
He literally got like 11 assists last season

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>>77614653

>>77614638
*BBRRRRRRRAAAAPPPPPP* mmmm yes my dear.... is that.. eggs i smell?... mmmm yes

>>77614655
21 as well

>>77614642
Looks like Phoenix

>>77614642
united

>>77614655
29 m8, get off my lawn.

>>77614642
i would assume los angeles?

>>77614588
or put in N'Koudou
or call N'Jie to fly from Marseille
or field Lamela on crutches
or select Darren Anderton for a late testimonial

all more useful options

Eriksen is the biggest fraud in Europe

>>77614607
it won't last

>>77614655
25, where has the time gone

>>77614594
some men like fat girls and always have m8

>>77614655
23 here. What have I done with my life?

>>77614671
remove autism

>>77614493
not a fan
>>77614504
oh nvm I like them now

>>77614655
23

when can i leave

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nothing comfier than watching a game you dont care about with a spee match thread 2bh

>>77614671
I look forward to you ban evading later.

>>77614655
>tfw I'm 26 in a week

Please ignore the porn obsessed Aussie

>>77614683
i like really big boobs

if they're attacked to a fat girl then i'm okay with that

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giv Harry Kane August goal pls

>>77614679
Substantiate your claims

STOP POSTING ASSES IM TRYING TO WATCH THE FOOTY IVE ALREADY HAD A WANK TODAY

>>77614655
26


i should be due for leaving this island very soon

>>77614614
Please come up with a proper counter argument you Welsh fag

>>77614699
>tfw 30 this week

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>>77614655
26 NEET

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DO SOMETHING

>>77614702

Are you 14?

>playing hoofball with two manlets up front

save us mitro

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>>77614698
You cannot ban what is already dead (inside)

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Dwight "Scourge of the Scousers" Gayle

anyone know how to delete your aceplayer cache?

Are they making monkey noises when sissoko touches the ball?

>>77614537
I swear to you, on the ball Sissocko was actually really good for them.

This >>77614558 guy gets it.


Newcastle was shit at finishing chances consistently. In fact, Newcastle was shit in general. The only good players they had were Sissocko, Ayoze, Colback and a fit Colochini.

>>77614706
>sunday afternoon and he's only had one wank today

>>77614694
>>77614694
Literally never. No matter what you make of yourself, how far you go, you'll never leave.

garbage fucking shit they can't even keep the ball down

never meme me into this league ever again

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>>77614655
27
you're here forever

>>77614716
t. brainlet

there are hundreds of thousands of little tactical battles that are way out of your comprehension going on here kiddo

Centre plays to wing
Wing back to centre
Centre holds it
Holds it
HOLDS IT

>>77614718
people who pretend not to like boobies are just kidding themselves

Kane doesn't score in August to give others a chance at top scorer. Nice off him, done it twice and others still can't handle his power. Even if some of it is autismo power,

Who /watchingforrafa/ here?

stupid monkey

>>77614731
>not watching city for J zeus

>Kyle walker's replacement is called kyle walker
Kek spurs are such a cool club shame about the jews tho

>>77614727
Coloccini was fucking shit, we got relegated with him twice he's a useless cunt with silly meme hair so people liked him. The amount of times he ran to his own corner flag was ridiculous.

>>77614736
What is this?

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>Jonjo Shelvey as captain

Hell I thought Newcastle would be a likable team

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>you now remember king

>hit someone because they tackle you
alli is such a wimp

>>77614592
>not as boring as Manure last season
they created a shitload of chances but failed to take them. hardly boring, just frustrating.

Quite like Hayden lads, he's got a good touch
Also
>rafa benches Atsu for majority of championship season for Goof
>starts him in the prem after Goof turns down new contract

Why do people rate Ayoze? I feel like I'm missing something, he's never done anything of note.

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>>77614759
>i don't like jonjo shelvey

dele alli is the biggest cunt in the league, nothing wrong with that tackle

Why does Alli act like a hard man when he looks like he would get BTFO by half the Spurs U-19 side?

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who would you rather, cyborg, gabi or a cute trap?

>>77614749
You're Muslim that's worse, sorry

>>77614736
Disgusting
This isn't how you treat the lady

>>77614772
Think it has something to do with his childhood, he's the standard white alcoholic mom/deadbeat black dad product.

is Alli so ashamed of his IS roots he refuses to put his sandy name on the back of his shirt?

>>77614741
I'm chatting to a girl from Norway with big fawkin tits as we speak
they really are the best, lad

Dele is a mental manlet

really wish jonj had smacked fergie that one time

>>77614759
>not liking based Bauldy Jonjo

cous cous nonce

>>77614769
hes got potential la

>>77614655
23
feels bad

>>77614770
Apart from his half way blooter for Swansea, he is shite.

Also when he moved to Poocastle saying he was at a better club, then going down weeks later was lovely.

>>77614772
He's lived in north London too long

>>77614785
post em

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>>77614770
>I like Jonjo Shelvey

>>77614790
Oh he's one of them, say no more.

>>77614750
Why would you give multiple contracts and the captain's arm band to someone "this" shit.

No the club and manager wasn't as mental as you're implying, Colochini was one of your best defenders.

Mind you were talking about the standard Newcastle held themselves. I'm not saying he could've played for a top 4 club. Although, didn't Newcastle finish 5th with him?

>>77614784
I think it's because of a shitty father

Woah, I think this new Kyle Walker lad can cross

newcastle united more like completely shit football team

>eriksens hairline

The state if scandi genetics

KWP is pretty decent to be fair

>>77614802
Gib sauce

>>77614736
>>77614752
>>77614802
>Degeneracy

There's only two Kyle walkers

>>77614655
I'm 23xl, I support arsenal and i own a nintendo switch.

>>77614803
Newcastle finished 5th in spite of him.

Spurs are so shit

it is a lovely stadium tbf good to be back in the prem

I like the porn that that Eastern European guy does here in the UK. He always gets top slags. But him and the camera man never shut the fuck up and it really ruins it.

Recommend me some ps4 games lads

I thought they sold Walker?

pop the kettle on lads, im out of tea

>>77614812
that penalty fault that didn't happen due to offside was childish

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Can't wait for half-time lads

>>77614750
Nah he wasn't that bad overall. He just had the bad habit of fucking off for entire seasons at a time, don't suppose we'll ever know exactly how much of that was due to him sulking over wanting to go back to argentina

>>77614826
fifa

>spurs without their meme pitch

will finish mid table

Why the FUCK did Ayoze stop running then?

Jesus Christ Dembele has developed some jets over the break.

>>77614826
ass autonoma

>>77614826
Rocket league

>>77614826
crash bandicoot

>>77614827
Peters

>Spurs
>getting top 4 this season without >muh WHL to fall back on

Why isnt Walker playing lads? is he injured?

>>77614826
pes

>>77614832
Post titties

porn is bad for the soul lads

>>77614824
Not so lovely if you're an away supporter. The stairs are enough to give the fittest of man a heart attack

>>77614826
Ass Berger's

>>77614784
It's because his dad ran off shortly after he was born, then tried to get back into his life once he signed a PL contract. Plus Alli was raised by a different family, some white people named Jackson or Harrison or something like that.

newcastle looking decent being entirely filled with championship players

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>>77614834
do you mean h/a/lf time?

was it coloccini that shitcastle sacked after they found out he had cancer?

Shelvey just had a shot from that corner

>>77614843
fuck knows, that cross was on a plate for him

Is atsu the prototypical pacey black man?

>>77614776
You support spurs? Pick a proper club lad

>>77614655
32. Laughing at shitposts before bed is good.

>>77614826
Halo 2

>>77614862
>posting a Female(Male) on this board

Disgusting.

>>77614826
pes 2018 is shaping up to be goat

>>77614860
Oh right fairs

>>77614855
true, i jerk off to erotic outtakes of photo shoots.
i did it to eugenie boucard's sports illustrated shoot.

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>>77614862
>jerking off to japanese children

>>77614863
jonas

>>77614811
>tfw you're part scandinavian but the only scandinavian thing you inherited was early baldness

fuck everything

>>77614853
>on ps4
>not pc so you can get the 4cc squads

shiggy diggy etc

>>77614826
I dont know how it is on PS4 but Siege is good on PC

>>77614863
That was Jonas m8

Dirty mong, get booked

>>77614851
Spurs only lost 4 away games last season.

>>77614883
>>77614889
ah yeah that him thanks

>>77614655
Nearly 26, I think I'm just inherently immature to still be browsing this fucking shithole.

>>77614826
Crash N.Sane Trilogy. First game I've bought in literally years and I really enjoyed it. Crash 3 was the one I remember being the best, but replaying, it's my least favourite. Too many gimmicky levels and too many special abilities that make the paltforming piss easy. Crash 1 and 2 are still great though.

>Kane

>Getting outplayed by Newcastle
Should have spent the money Levy

one season wonder

Stupid ref, that's going to cost me at least 1 point

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>>77614882
>not jerking off to japanese children

Ffs kane, you better score

>>77614826
Darude sandstorm

>>77614899
>>77614849
Year am already feeling this lads, old school

>>77614899
Crash 2 is the GOAT

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Humble reminder that Tiote is dead

Press F to pay respects

Could you try to leave eleven men still able to walk please you dirty fucking cunts

literally ded rip leju

>>77614884

Unlucky m8

Try finasteride

That's the type of challenge I like to see from an English player. Proper Hard brexit tackle

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>fell for the Kane fantasy league meme

Shitting heck

>>77614906
why is he still choking her? is she going to die soon?

I hate jews

If Kane wasn't english, that would be a red.

Where would English football be without pacey black fullbacks?

should have been something for Kane, 2 feet over the ball. tottenshit

mbemba?