>Hey can I play? >"It's not my ball"

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>why don't you be ref instead

>>77590235
thanks for reminding me this was a thing.

God i loved primary school. best rules

>playing basketball with friends
>some guys come and ask if they can play
>i tell them no instantly
>my friends tell me to not be shitty and invites them to play
>they destroy us

who was in the wrong here?

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the fat guy is the goalkeeper

>tfw used to be the autist who would just linger around families playing sports in the park and then muster the courage to ask if I could join in after half an hour

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easy cherrypick's

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>>77590287
>purposely go to basketball courts with the squad and ask randoms if they want to play
>Usually some highschool/middleschool kids
>destroy them because we're all college players

being half decent at sports was the only thing as a kid that saved me from being a complete autistic outcast

in every other facet I was a completely retard

>''Goodbye, have to go home''
>''its my ball, gonna take it with me''

>Let me play position i want to play because its my ball

>lose
>takes ball, kicks it away or goes home with it

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>some asshole kick the ball away to the neighbour house and they never give back or the dog bites the ball

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>kick the ball into the street and a bus destroys it
>"you are gonna pay for it right"
>"sure"
>never pay for it

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>>77590235

>>77590312
BLACKED

>can I play?
>bro you are fuckin Lebron James, no you cant play!
>my friends tell me to let the guy play
>We win 21 to 9 first game
>second game 21 to 17

Lebron you fucking suck

>Stingers
>Wallies
>Scrambles
>Birthday beats
>Pinch Punch first day of the Month

Was primary school the best days of our lives?

That fucking gipsy, who looked like 20years old who destroyed our games by playing like asshole. We were to afraid to say him no, one time he got angry at missing a shot, took out switchblade out of his pocket and destroy the ball (thankfully not mine).

>>77590568
We had Viennese and Everybody Greedy

>>77590568
>>77590618
what are you goys talking about

>>77590627
sexual techniques

>playing bball by myself
>random kid ask to play
>tell him i was actually going inside
>go inside to hide from the kid

>>77590568
yes

for us, it was flyers up, 4 square, kickball, bump, and cops n robbers

>>77590590
Can't say I know this feel, Pasha.

Probably shouldn't have let the gypsy play.

>>77590287
>being bad

get good or get rekt, chileANO

>be the only one who actually liked to be a goalkeeper
>always chosen first

Good times.

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>picked last at footy because I was unpopular
>proceed to rekt everyone's shit and score goals on command
>still get picked last next gym class

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>playing soccer with like 5 friends in the summer
>20 million nignogs come out of nowhere like zubats in a cave
>They wanna play against us
>okay sure
>I used to play on a team so I know about positioning and passing and shit, thats not to say Im good at all (Its fucking Canada of course)
>Make a hard through ball to my teammate
>"WOOOAAAHHHH DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT PASS???!!!"
>wtf lol
>Take a shot from far away because theres 1 fat kid in net, goes in
>"WOOOAAHHHH THAT WAS LIKE A POWER SHOT"
>deke around like 5 kids and score
>"HES LIKE MESSI HOLY SHIIIITTTTTTT"

Good times. Too bad Im not actually good so the Messi comment was like an insult

>>77590720
Not possible. Being good at football would make you popular.

>>77590739

This. That post makes no sense

>>77590731
>be quite shit in my class, couple kids with real talent there, one on national team
>go to summer school
>completely destroy everybody there in both technique and speed
>also best in the bullshit "classes" we had
>become the local chad, always hang out with 2 chicks
>this goes on for about 2 months, when I get back to real school I'm the class loser again

it's NOT better to have loved and lost

>be fat
>picked last
>get in shape
>picked first
>be fat again
>picked last
it was nice while it lasted

>>77590235
>be best goalkeeper by a lot
>always picked first so the other team would have one that sucks

too bad I stopped growing when i was 13 or 14

>>77590749
>>77590739
not unless you're a dirty Mexican. Then anything is possible

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>>77590751
What could have been, Anon

I think if I had interest from a young age I think I could have at least played for some Panamanian city's team but I loved hockey too much

Ahh well, maybe in the next life

>>77590792
People think it was a fluke

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>>77590642

>>77590739

FAT SMELLY MEXICANS

>>77590235
>the story of my life
fuck you op

>jumpers for goalposts
>shoot ball 3 feet off the ground, goes in
>"that was over"
>NO IT FUCKING WASN'T

>>77590287

Kek

>>77590590
Dem eastern bloc problems

>>77594593

We used to use a section of the playground fence as the goal, the ball would end up on the street at least twice every lunch break and we'd have to wait at the fence and ask a passer by to throw it back over.

>>77594683
we had a spiky fence in secondary school, we had the spidermonkey kid (we all knew one) either climb over it with a jumper or somehow get thru bars which were like 10cm apart

slenderman shit

>>77590739
Probably everyone but him were friends there.
bros before pros m8

>>77590235
That's what Mignolet said.

>>77590320
>I was a completely retard
Good post

>>77590235
>This exact line develops naturally and is used across the globe
What did we mean by this?

>go to a church that has the biggest local park with multiple soccer fields because bible belt
>playing some kickabout, one friend is a cr7 fan boy who always wears his Ronaldo jersey and tsuuuuus everytime he does something
>church has a small pond in the middle of it
>as we're walking back to our cars one friend who's probably the nicest of all of us but can bring massive bants when he wants kicks cr7 jrs ball out of his hands and into the pond
>it's February
>cr7 Jr rages and eventually friend gives in and wades into the pond to get it because he's not that big of a dick
>try to get cr7 Jr to play fpl with us this season claims his "honeymoon with soccer is over"
>won't play soccer for fun anymore when half the time he was the one wanting to get together for it
I love cr7 Jr but man he's a massive faggot, you cannot get him to do anything if it doesn't involve playing vidya over steam, he won't even come to my house to see my new puppy, what a cunt

>>77594593
every recess

>be shit
>literally worst player in the class
>went to canada for some months as an exchange student
>"holy shit huebro ur so good"
>destroy the leafs with ease
>back to br
>still shit

It was good for a while

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>tfw I was always a goalie because I was fat
>nobody says shit if I save every shot
>shit on me if I don't

The worst position to play lads.

>>77590235
This is virtually no different than

"Hey can I get a ride?"
"It's not my car/I'm not driving."

>batting practice with some friends on school softball field
>see some guys making a beeline for us
>scared they'll ask to join
>hit as hard as possible to lose the ball
>get my first homerun

>always liked football since an early age
>my father is a die-hard benfica fan
>never took me to a live match
>never enrolled me in any football club whatsoever
t-thanks

>>77595874
a friend stopped hanging out with us. i used to speak to him on steam but now he doesnt even reply :(

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>your ball lands in your neighbours' balcony
>she doesn't give it back to teach you a lesson about being noisy

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>fat juggo kid with a cannon of a foot
>bloots the ball on to the road and a bus runs over it

>>77598295
>moslim country
>bomberfeels

Was this suppose to be part of the joke?

>>77598088
whats it like living in complete poverty?

>>77598468

It is Bomberman having a feels moment you macaco. And is Guilano a good player?

>your turn in goal anon
>put on indian lad's gloves
>get called 'paki hands' all summer

>>77598587
I don't really watch Gremio games, but alot of people tought his convocation was weird.
I think he'll be just a substitute tho.

>>77598634
You're not actually jap are you?

>That fast kid who always got the flag during Capture the Flag.

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>>77590568
>beat the letter
>bulldog
>red arse
>wembley doubles
>kegging
>wars on the estate with the weird kids

truly better times

>>77590739
he was probably a prick and laso like the argie said brohs before pros, I saw this a lot in middle school

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>>77598088
>Tfw 24 but want to get back into football
>Not played in 10yrs and just know I'll be destroyed at any club I turn up at

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>>77590235
>"We already have equal teams...why don't you be a post?"
>"Put your arm out too so we know where the bar is"

>12 kids in my class
>those 2 fags who didnt play or enjoy football
>always 5 vs 5 when the field was available
>picked always for the worst team (the 5 best vs the 5 worst kids lel)

>>77598569
my father was a navy officer, my mother was bank clerk (both retired now)
he simply didn't care

>spend £12 on a brand new Nike mercurial sexy ball
>instantly pop it in a throne bush

>>77599780
DON'T give up
get in shape, both physically and mentally
get into an healthy diet
if you're already fit, just try to find some open training sessions

>>77599862
>Buy GOAT Total 90 ball
>Had it about 15 minutes
>Gets kicked onto someone's roof
>"Just throw bricks at it"
>Window immediately gets put out

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>came into school during recess because i had an appointment
>kids playing soccer, they all stop and ask if i want to play
>pretty shocked by the whole scenario
>say yes
>"nooooo man dont play we already have equal players"
>even more shocked
>go sit at the baseball diamond by myself until a teachers sees me and feels bad for me

>>77590235
Everyone does this here

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English bulldog
IRA
stuck in the mud
capture the flag
forty forty/ touch the can/ 52 bokers

can I get an Amen!

English bulldog and forty forty/52 bonkers were my favorites.

Anyone else remember being 5 years old in school and the older kids were playing cops and robbers and they would ask you to free them from jail and then the cops would get angry "You can't do that, he's not even playing!, he's in junior infants"

Those golden may days when the teacher would give you double break because it so nice outside and it felt like an eternity.

hold me boys

>go to mixed religion school in Northern Ireland
>play Catholics vs Protestants every lunch time

>>77599425
I liked playing GK in Wembley Doubles and everybody thought I was shit outfield so nobody ever wanted me to be, but I often did well. This was until they banned balls at our school cause window smashes.

So we invented One Touch One Bounce, a bit like hacky sack but with loads of players.

>>77600133
>Gee anon, why do you always get to be Cromwell?

>>77600175
Catholics vs Protestants football, there was one halfa-jaffa who would change sides depending on who was playing well. We had a big game on the last day of school that would decide if there would be a United ireland

>>77590235
never heard that, you were just hated

>communion parties
>it's dusk
>the grass is starting to dew
> deflating bouncy castle in the corner
>jumpers for goalposts,
>lungs are bursting
this is the game that matters, my world cup.

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>>77599862
this so fucking much, I even fuck up 2 balls in the same fucking spot in the SAME fucking day, then one day we got a ball that came free with some juice powder like tang, I shit you not that ball lasted for years even hitting the worst spots that would have definetly fuck up most balls, then one day it was raining and we forgot it in the field, we saw it like 2 years later with some kids in the same field, godspeed to that ball

>>77590287
You for not always looking for new challengers to improve, and later do the same to other kids.

>kick the ball in the old grumpy lady garden
>she impales it on the fence by the side of previous balls that had the same fate
>watch in horror

>>77590287
You for playing nigger hoop at all

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>>77599862
I still got mine. We used to call it canario .

>>77590294
t.fat

>>77590235
>"Hey that was a foul! Red card red card !"
> *runs away crying*

Primary school days were fun. That guy was pretty good in karate and could have beaten all of us up but he didn't. Respect him now desu.

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>Hey, can I play?
>IDK, can you?

>>77590642
Sounds like something I would do if I didn't like his face
If he looked cool/friendly I would play with him

>play futbol at school
>kids always clearing ball off of goal line into parking lot/sidewalk beside school
>teachers yell at you if you leave the field
>only solution you come up with is to make the kid who doesn't mind getting in trouble hop the fence and get it
>he doesn't even mind for some reason

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>>77599974
my nigga

>>77598088
Did you ever mentioned you would like to you fag?

>>77600451
>this is unironically the moment favelados become comfortable filming execution videos in the poorer neighbourhoods

>>77599974
>"Just throw bricks at it"
kek. Not sure who's the better lad, the one who suggested it or the one who actually did it

>>77600334

>get 2002 WC ball
>be the kid with the good ball at school for three weeks
>mean, asspained fat kid kicks it into valley next to school
>few days later
>find some narco smuggling ball
>panels are all misshapen and arranged randomly
>it lasts till I graduate high school

I gave it to some kids, went back home two years later and they still were using it. That ball was a fucking tank. Would not be surprised if it were still around somewhere

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>>77601184

>Did you ever mentioned you would like to you fag?

>>77597861
Is it that big of an inconvenience to let somebody join in

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>finally get ball for my birthday
>no one wants to play with it
>game starts with another ball
>match ball ends up on low roof
>haha, time for anon's ball!
>turkish kid asks for my ball
>throws it at ball on roof
>knocks it down
>my ball stays on roof

>>77600147
>we invented One Touch One Bounce

Is this bait

Everyone I've ever met played this

>get brand new Adidas Chelsea ball for Christmas
>take it to the park near my mate's house
>he takes a shot from halfway before I even get to kick the ball
>it gets spiked on the fucking fence at the end of the park
>"sorry mate I'll buy you another one"
>he never does

>that kid who would always want to pitch and you had to let him cause he was rich and had the good bat and he sucked ass

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>>77600327

>communion parties

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>>77600133
>be in a French Immersion school
>Have the English kids play the French kids
>English muffins vs. French Fries once every week
>Fights happen so they have to separate us
>mfw the Anglo-French butthurt is eternal

>>77600133
I know a dude that play for a "big" br team and they play white vs blacks when training

> kids playing 4 square
> can I play?
> "sure"
> everyone just gangs up on me and fucks with me till I quit and leave
Bad feel

>>77599425
>red arse
>wembley doubles
GOAT games
Me and my mates still play those games after 5 aside, we're 22

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>play footie everyday with guys same age as me
>older guys from the block always around pitch
>one day they ask me to play with them cuz they dont have enough to make 2 teams
>play with them every day
>week later they start to pick me first

felt good, but fuckers gave me cigs and i started smoking

>>77590287
>playing footy with the lads
>some flaites ask for a match

sweat.jpg

>indoor kickball
>ball gets kicked into gym rafters and stuck
>"just hit it out with another ball"
>mfw the other ball gets stuck too

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>point out how stupid the consecutive player picking system is and how it always gives us unbalanced teams (e.g. one team had the 1st, 3rd, 5th e.t.c. best players while the other had the 2nd, 4th, 6th) and suggest a balanced alternative (after the very first player is picked every team picks two players at once)
>get bullied for being a nerd

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Ok, now for real retarded shit
>if you didn't throw the ball like in picrelated (as in starting the throwing motion from the back of your neck) then it was considered incorrect and the other team was now the one in charge of throwing the ball
Was this a thing anywhere else?

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>Playing football in school
>both teams have a captain picking one player at a time
>girl gets picked before you

>>77607830
Yeah, it's a rule of soccer. I know you dont have rules in Latvia, but still

>score with a 15 m offside and everybody is okaywith it

>tfw used to play football every day sometimes twice
>based no worries summer break from school
>haven't played in years

I miss those days a lot.

Fuck growing up

>>77613663
Get yourself in a 5-a-side lad

It's not the same but it fills the empty hole

>every year from ages 5-10 ask my mum if I could play soccer
>she replies no saying I could break my leg
Fuck you mum, could be a millionaire football player right now

>>77594593
>"POST AND IN!"

>>77590235
>tfw I was the alpha
>never asked to play yet told others who could and could not play

I always got picked 3rd after the 4-5 best players because I was the keeper

>>77613791
this, I go once or twice a week and it feels pretty much like old times

One thing I hate about it though is that we usually go as a group of 10 friends. If anyone cannot go for some reason someone has to bring a +1. If he's being cool with it that's fine, but the guys smashing the ball a few meters
away from the keeper during a 1 on 1 situation should be banned from these places. Keep it funny and casual ffs

>>77613973
We used to do numbers to avoid that picking bullshit

Everybody got given a number between 1 and how many were playing, then the captains called a number and you went to whatever team called your number

We played 2v2v2v2 and shit like that more than team vs team though, using only one goal and you had to bring the ball outside the box to score if you took possession inside, good times

>>77590739
>Be me
>Lived in europe
>Move to the US
>In US high school
>Best player on the team
>Still bullied and pushed into lockers

Anything's possible

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>all-time quarterback

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>>77590568
>>77599425

>>77595874
>I'm sharing this site with high schoolers
Time to kill myself

>playing footie at school
>ball falls on neighbours backyard
>tall as fuck hue comes out
>gives us the ball
>starts talking to us about God and religious shit
>tells us he's a singer
>gives us tickets to his show

>niggs walk up to us
>"y'all wanna get a game"
>"nah we're leaving in like 5 minutes"
>stay another hour
>mfw

>you are free from gym class
>you are too smart not to play sports games with your friends after school
Sport is shit to take part of it, but it's ok to watch the shit on TV

>friends family get new puppy
>messing around playing football with friend
>friend wants to see how far I can launch the ball
>go full rory delap mode
>aim for friend
>figure he'll head the ball or something
>friend dives out the way incase he "gets hurt"
>ball crashes into puppy sending it flying over
>everyone is like "anon wtf is wrong with you

>>77600133
this
>went to a historically Protestant secondary school in what has become a Catholic area
>most of the Prods only played Rugby and Cricket in primary school, while the Catholics were mostly working class lads like myself who only played football
>lunchtime Catholics v Prods was always a whitewash because the Prods were shite at football

>Hey wanna play?
>m-me? yes!
>good, you're goalkeeper