/heem/ fuck u goof

just wanked again

this is the thread

>>77367033
How long until UFC 214 rolls around?

Daily reminder Cody Garbrandt will Heem TJ

>>77367255
1 bong

>>77367298
pretty sure the early prelims start in 30 mins my guy

>>77367391
Whoever wrote that should be heemed brutally

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>>77367391
>He goes on reddit for MMA discussions

>>77367391
>>77367411
me

1st for King Reina

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>>77367427
Come over here so I can heem you brutally.
NO NORMIES AND PLEBBITORS ALLOWED

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>>77367444

>>77367475
She's just so thicc and perfect... And sleepy

>>77367475
Baby King a cute!
Snorlaxing her opponent!

>>77367547
wow dude

Anyone else rooting against Kailin just to see Calendar get BTFO I hate that loser more than anything

>>77367453
>>77367426
>>77367411
>>77367391
why do we hate reddit again?

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>>77367508
Watching her ass fall out of her shorts was pretty enjoyable

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I bet my weed dealer $20 that DC will win

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>YOU ARE A BAD PERSON

>>77367577
Thanks for the webms. I literally love this woman. Hope her shorts are as small tonight.

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>>77367574
Is this you?

Jones by 2nd round tko. screencap this.

>>77367574
the mods on r/mma are humongous faggots. the admins are faggots. most people are faggots also and just recite memes like faggots

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>>77367606
I got a few more, nothing as hot tho

dc knocks out jones in the first, does a fat line off jon's unconscious body, then tells everyone it was actually him who crashed into the pregnant lady

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>>77367587
>tfw you have 220 quid on JBJ to beat the michelin man

>>77367793
embarrassing wtf is going on here

WHO HYPE AS FUCK FOR TONIGHT?

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Where can I watch this without having to "pay for it"????
>wtf is this captcha btw??? Smh

burkman bless

*** PLEASE NOTE *** There was an error processing payment using the payment option you supplied. If paying by PayPal, please try again at a later time. If paying by credit card, please check that the billing address you entered matches the address on your credit card account or use a different credit card and try again. If you need further help with your purchase, please contact customer support.
Dana doesn't want my money lads

>>77367876
OP BTFO. How will he ever recover????

>>77367866
just got goosebumps watching the main event promo

>>77367708
Easy money desu. I think jones has turned the corner. He's the best easily so if he's sober for a minute he will win. Idk if he gets a knockout tho but he will win by decision def.

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LETS WATCH MEN FIGHT EACHOTHER UNTIL DEATH IS NEAR!

HEEEEEEM!

>>77367929
Yep. I actually think he might sub DC as insane as that sounds

Is Rizin tonight a PPV?

>>77367969
What would Schaub say about this stance?

Dober a chad?

>>77367610
what exactly is wrong with this?

>>77367981
Yeah. I'm still looking

HARD WORK

>>77367610
>us millennials amirite xD

>>77368049
AND DEDICATION

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Post yfw Joe Rogan is commentating and therefore won't be doing a Fight Companda

Hurray for ancient man.

This fight is going to suck

Is Rogan actually there? His lines literally sounded pre recorded at the moment. It's like I'm watching the UFC videogame

>>77368144
Apparently not

>>77367981
>>77368046
Fite TV
15 dollaridoos

HEEEEEEEEM

HEEM'D

HEEM SLEEPY

Fight was a bit weird though

>>77368168
THEY
ARE
VIRTUALLY
IDENTICAL

COMBAT SPORTS!

>that respectful kneel while the opponent was still wounded

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what did he mean by this?

Reddit is unanimously saying that Jon Jones is a psychopath because when he found out he crashed into a pregnant woman's car he was worried about jail rather than the baby's life.

https://streamable.com/cdwbm

Virtue signallers...

Dober is going to be a star. Calling it now

>>77368208
I'm not even joking something seems really off
Have WME mastered holograms?

>>77367653
I disagree. I think reddit is based

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>Bouncing heads off the canvas

>>77368241
>already 28
>8 losses
Probably not.

>three of my friends that I started bjj with have two stripes on their brown belts

fuck my life. why does life have to get in the way? I wish I could be a man child and roll in the gym for 10 hours a week.

>>77368247
Fuck off back there then

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>>77368191
Honestly not bad

anyone else happy this fight will be over later, sick of that fucking preview they keep showing just want it over with.

>>77368286
no

does this mother fucker think he's shooting a dating profile video?

>>77368268
kek reminds me of my mate I taught how to play the guitar, he's shredding and all I remember how to play is classical gas

Wait, is that fucking midget always on the Snoop Cast? I was pretty excited to see it with one of our fighters next week. But I fucking hate Faber.

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My boy Faber and Snoop, what a great combo!

>>77368375
https://youtu.be/mHkU7OUHOXQ

Thanks for sharing a feel

>this awkward drug talk

>>77368390
Friendly reminder anyone over 5"4' is average height

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW WOODLEY WAS IN THAT SALMAN KHAN MOVIE

Next up: Monkey God vs. Someone With A Less-Ridiculous Nickname

>>77368461
kek

>>77368440
Fuck off manlet

>>77368234
How the fuck is he in the UFC?

>Cruz just BTFOing Woodley's training

>>77368429
>>77368375
Nice me.me

>>77368238
He literally says the first thing is the baby he worried about.....

JONES AND CYBORG LOSE

CAP THIS

>>77368584
Why should I cap this?

Goddamn this guy is tiny. I don't think I've ever met a man that small

>>77368584
Tyron blacksplodes in the first and pounds out Maia against the fence. Cap it.

>>77368614
Having a giant ref is clearly a power play by Uncle Dana to intimidate the manlet fighters into accepting a lower purse.

>>77368412
17k views

BELTRAN!!!

the only thing I'm 100% sure of tonight is Maia is going to get blacked

>>77368712
16k bot views and 1k stoner degenerates.

>>77368811
Woodley is gonna get CREAMED by rear naked choke

Why does Jon's older fat ass brother keep trying to start shit with DC and his camp? What a fucking wannabe tough guy faggot

guys i'm torn

which thread do i post in?

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Who else high and comfy?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOWXXPNbzKI
Iss tomorrow fights? Im sorry im drunk.

>>77369190
DUDE WEED DUDE LOOK AT ME DUDE I SMOKE WEEEEED DUUUUUUUUUUDE

>>77369190
Disgusting

>>77369224
D...did you look?

>manletweight
wgaf

Who would win in a fight between Mario Yamasaki and Herb Dean?

>>77369190
If you need to smoke weed to enjoy things like a sandwich or life.

Then are you sure weed isn't addictive?

everyone trying to be conor now

BULLSHIT I FUCKING SUCK
I'M GONNA TAKE THE BELT

Who is your favorite woman's mma fighter?

Lads Jones in his prime was really a force of nature wasn't he.
Just watch his run

Anyone else just not really care much about Jimi Manuwa?

>>77369361
every massively hyped card or thing in general disappoints
they it can't live up to the hype people give it
it's probably going to be a very good card, just not an epic, historic card like people are making it out to be

>wmma

someone link me some good milf porn pls

>>77369280
Did I say I need it or did you? If I was having a beer while eating my sandwich and watching fights would you say the same?

>>77369402
I just rewatched Lawler vs. Woodley, and the KO punch was pretty much the first clean punch Woodley landed and it completely destroyed Lawler. That there is some serious KO power.

Where the fuck is the prediction post?

>>77369381
Calling Khabib a can crusher as a criticism of his abilities is absolute bullshit.
The UFC doesn't want to give him big fights because he would win and they don't want someone who is not as marketable to win.
Same shit happens with so many mixed martial artists because they do not fluently speak english or do not have exactly what the average "just bleed" dingus wants. So they give them insignificant fight after insignificant fight so you can just call them can crushers.
Same shit with Jacare.
I'm so sick of reading and seeing Conor everywhere. Remember when he smacked Nate's hand and said "that hand will never be the same again"? Sensationalist trash

>>77369402
i just fapped to this http://www.xvideos.com/video9715199/big_booty_pawg_vanessa_blake_fucked_hardcore_doggie_style

>>77369424
i wanted milf porn why u respond with this shit fag

>>77369442
kek. If she's a good gal then knock her up
If you don't give a shit about her or she is a whiny bitch then sure why not

>>77369459
>They don't want someone not marketable to win
Why is Maia fighting tonight?

>>77369480
He's like that at most of em. Ever get cocky and confident when you are with friends? It just happens to this man when the eye is on him, if he was coked out you would KNOW. Jon probably just did some at a party, these people are athletes for a living man

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someone post the webm of Kailin crying please

>>77369536
stop fucking responding to me

>>77369522
Demian Maia hasn't exactly had a dream career, he won 3 straight and got overmatched against Anderson SIlva then he had lots of high and lows even started striking only in some fights, finally he improved his wrestling and dropped down a weight class to make best use of his grappling

>>77369473
>porn
Fix your life please.

Porn damages your brain and leaves images imprinted making you live in hell once you realize the suffering you are gonna have to live through when the images wont go away.

Cormier will win a split decision. You heard it here first.

>>77369190
I'm high and comfy as well. But I would never smoke out of that disgusting bong or eat that gross sandwich. And for the record, yes it is addictive psychologically, but not physically (no withdrawals, etc)

must be pretty weird fighting in front of all those people for the first time

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Why can't I escape this shit?

>>77369500
I dont know if I love her, but she's got big tits

>>77369555
Is anyone else getting a little bit tired of Conor and starting to dig eddie a little more?
I love conor but he keeps repeating himself and only talking about money and how much more than eddie he is gonna make... This guy knocked out the supposedly number 1 p4p in 13 seconds and has been the most entertaining and active fighter in the company, he could be talking about so much more than just money

you were destroying her with knees and you pulled guard!?!?!?

>>77369607

That's a whole lotta t-shirts to sell my man

>>77369607
All of them except MacDonald would get their clock cleaned by Woodley.

>Having cannon fodder boys
Australians are such failures and goofs.

I'll hit a toddler if Thompson is able to beat Woodley tomorrow.

>albu got that female fight IQ

>>77369642
What

>>77369564
i'm almost 30 if it did any damage i think i would have felt it by now

How come womens fights are more intense than the male ones?

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>>77369545

>>77369682
It's all so forced and predictable

We all knew he'd be late to the presser
We al knew he'd give his reason as "Because oi roon dis town!" or "because oi don geev a fook!"

>le first round KO prediction
>le literally rented gucci shit for the press conference just to make ABSOLUTELY SURE that people know he has money

I used to be such a Conor bumboy but he's not even interesting anymore. Still like watching his fights though.

Is it just me or is Rogan way more high than usual

I want to lick Nutella off of Abu's abs

>Herb Dean all over it

Anik is the best

if kailin does not win i will commit suicide on camera immediately following the loss

>>77369799
Goldberg was like a beer. He evened it out.

>upkicks are illegal
since when what the fuck

>>77369832
Japenese American?

Am i right for thinking Tyron the impaler will cocksmack maia?

These bitches are spicy

>>77369864
Kicks to a grounded opponent
Upkicks are legal, not when your opponent is grounded too

>>77369923
You're 100% right

amazing fight albu is a fucking monster and a future champ

Spicy low level fighting

>>77369724
because those strikes do nothing

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>Maia will lose
>DC will lose
>Tonya will lose

Why must all the good guys get wiped out in one evening?

Does joe rogan ever shut the fuck up?

Who is the sexy redbone milf at the table?

>>77370072
WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH!

WHOOSH WHOOSH!

WHOOSH!

Good fight. Sloppy as fuck but fun.

wat

>>77370121
You know what else is sloppy as fuck?

>was those kisses of mockery?
yes

I though curran took that desu

>>77370113
his job is to talk u niglet

>>77370159
Your headgame?

>>77370194
h-how'd you know

>>77370231
can you shout double cheeseburger when dc walks through

should i watch the fights today

>>77370231
Can you shout "I'M THE HEEM (picks) GUY"?

>>77370284
go home casual

How much time left for the main fights?

>all those empty seats
who buys a $4000 ticket and turn up late?

>>77370262
im on the after fight side but i will try to remember

>>77370308
The same as always.

>>77370304
nice! just bought 100k

Man this even really does seem to have brought the casuals. Not that it's bad or anything, seems like there's more interest than usual

just woke up lads, did i miss anything good?

>>77370318
They are all at the bar.

>>77370339
>biggest/best card of the year so far
>surprised at sudden influx of people


i'd be careful throwing that casual word around so easily lad

what time does conner fight boys?

Albu won the decision. Kailin won the fight.

>>77370402
t.189er

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>>77370395
He's always foighen ya eejit!

>>77370394
It's a big fight card but even that doesn't usually draw many people. Usually it's only the really big names, I didn't think any of the names on the card were that desu, even Jones fight against OSP was fairly standard

>>77370395
conor will retire after the mayweather fight without ever defending a single belt

biggest farce in recent sporting history

>>77370470
get in, get rich, get out

>>77370335
I'm a casual anon. I know that there are some B tier build up fights and then the main fights.

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Does Fili have the worst tattoos in MMA?

>>77370112
Maia will win

>>77370112
DC is an annoying faggot

>>77370112
tonya submits cyborg easily imo.

>>77370652
i think she might but it really depends on whether she can get a takedown. people doubt her but she's actually cyborg's toughest opponent

Blacked triple
Aljamain + Manuwa + Tyron = 4.71 money back

I feel like i'm playing hitman with that music.

>>77370521
>half baked

decent

fackan decent

fuck fili

this is the thread

How many decision in the main card?
I'll go with 1, for DC

only posting in this. fuck schaub

>>77371019
that's not 3D World Runner

>Wendy's advertising their new queso burger

So a cheeseburger, then? What innovation!

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>>77371019
F Zero is /heem/ approved

best acestream?

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>>77371019

>>77371093
09dc14dea98d34261bac35cb0c6d0de1c6d9be03
I just button bashed the keyboard, good luck getting it to work lol

>>77371093
ur453a43st7up98id43c3un24t

>>77371072
nicks face would droop to the left after i smoked him at f-zero

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>>77371108
what did he mean by that

>>77371108
that is a hilarious photo

eez moicano

>>77371173
Burnout 3 is the GOAT racing game

>>77371214
left>middle>right

preferably all 3 tho

>>77371214
right my dude

Where the fook is picksbro?

>>77371214
Right, for the awesome titty fucks.

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>>77371232
MY NIGGA

>>77371214
right > middle > left

moicano is a brazillian reachlet who wins by running away and getting decisions. Hope he gets knocked out.

>>77371214
they're all rather ugly

might as well go for titcow

T CITY BITCHES

>>77371173
TIME AND TIME AGAIN WE FALL INTO THE DEPTHS OF WHO WE ARE

>>77371214
ay lmao

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How wet was this wet was this reporter during this interview?

spicey bangors

>>77371275
>Hope he gets knocked out.
There's never been a Brazilian fighter who I haven't felt this way about

>>77371308
SOCIETY
INSPIRING
RISING

>>77371396
Machida?
Maia?
Some have a sense of humility

Ortega is
e x p lo s i v e

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>>77371254

>>77371431
Maia's not a faggot you're right

LADS I WANNA HEAD TO THE GYM BEFORE THE MAIN CARD STARTS.

DO WE HAVE AN ETA? PLEASE

>>77371460
Main card always has a set starting time

>>77371474

When is it? How long to go?

>>77371460
every time

google

10pm est
to your shitty time zone
+10-20 mins

Was it that hard?

GETTIN SPICY LADS

>>77371460
fuck off casual

>>77371490
starts at 7, hour and twenty left

>>77371490
1 bong and 15 bings to go

>>77371490
1hr 16 min I think

decent stream pls

>>77371498


thanks cuzzin

>>77371358
>How wet was this wet
Rolling is pretty intense cardio if you're not well conditioned, so I imagine she was pretty sweaty, yeah.

Autum leaves are drifting to the ground
Echo in the pain i feel in vain
Waiting at the roadside on my own
Suddenly i never felt so alone
Deafening silence all around me now
Since you are not here anymore

>>77371528
>>77371490
>>77371460
its always the non americans baka

Hey pussy, you still here?

>swinging for the fences
>head hunting

>7 strikes landed

>>77367093
How many times is that today?

>>77371565

fuck you you black cunt and your black sports cunts

19-19

>>77371650
lost count probably over 10. gonna quit now.

>>77371551
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALING IN MY SKINNNNNNNN

>Round 3

You know whats coming lads.

What if Maia killed the Linkin Park singer to win the crowd over during his walkout?

This is like wmma, someone needs to get ko'd with all these punches

HEEM

INSTANTLY

TAPPY

WEW

Didn't see that coming

>>77371811
lol what was that

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rate this ufc record

>>77371782
You shut your fucking mouth and respect these fighters or I'll come down to your caravan park and smash your tits in.

HEEEEEEEEMMM TAPPY

SURPRISE HOMOSEX

Yo anyone else having real problems

withhttp://taima.tv/r/mma

It keeps playing for a sec then buffering how do I fix this>?

>>77371826
looks like a perfect record to match up with an undefeated prospect

>>77371851
taima is garbo up your game

>>77371675
Jesus buddy aren't you sore?

>>77371851

>taima

he should of taken him down earlier, he just took 2-3 fights off his career with the shots he took

>>77371851
these fights are literally FREE on TV lol what are you doing

who is the best defensive fighter in ufc history?

>>77371851
don't be so poor

>>77371886
>>77371907
it /wooo/ s mma tube from 420 chan.
Come on act like you all be heen longer than summer/

>>77371933
cruz?

>>77371851
Who gives a shit, taima is fucking awful and they never stream their own shit anyway. It's just full of self-important faggots that spam their painfully unfunny inside jokes as if any stranger would find them funny. Would rather miss the card than watch with those mongs desu.

>>77371933
roy nelson

>>77371826
>resume consists of getting heemed by PVZ

>>77371913
How do I listen to the snoop commentary

>>77371916
duel screen computer.
I'm a cord cutter friendo.
I use amazon fire stick all hacked n shit for entertainment
and then I stream sports.

help us out here

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Atheists BTFO

>>77371933
conor

>>77371935
>>77371851
420chan's streams are ALWAYS garbage, and the mods are huge faggots. Got banned for saying one bad thing about the stream

>>77371933
me desu

Why are the UFC advertising a boxing match? They must be getting a fat check from it or think McGregor stands a chance?

TIME FOR STERLING TO GET HEEMED

>>77371965
sorry bro it's on FXX buy a TV lmao

should I put down 200 on cyborg to make 24 bucks?

THANK LORD JESUS

>>77372002
yes

>>77371949
found the liberal
Suck on my big white dick you nu-male euro pussy
My god redditors stick out like a sour thumb. Try to conseal it, there is no upvotes here

good job he didn't mention conor specifically that would have been major cringe

>>77371976
of course the ufc is getting a cut of it, ufc fighters can't do shit without the ufc's permission

>>77372002
definitely

>>77371933
anderson

>>77372002
kek
I guess so, I've got money of Barao and JBJ

>>77372034
Found the triggered trumpkin

Hey anyone got a link to view the fight?? Will love you long time

>>77372002
Better to sleep more easily at night by not being complicit in the televised murder of an American lesbian at the hands of a Brazilian "woman".

>>77371974
the stream right now is shitting on jews and fun stuff like that.
You must of made it clear you Stand with HER

>>77371968
>i got UFC fights for lessons on theology and Richard Dawkings to learn about jujitsu

>>77371949
>not adblocking the chat

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>>77372034
What in the flying fuck are you on about?

>>77371948
Yeah this probably

>>77371933
If by defensive you mean "Wrestle fuck to decision" then GSP

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>>77371974
>Goes to a stream
>Complains about said free stream
>Annoyed he gets heemed out of the chat
M8

>>77372061
>Trumpkin
Liberal reddit tier insult.
Suck a dick you kike faggot.
Go back

>>77372102
Trumpet?

>>77372076
That doesn't matter because they'll constantly remove the stream just to play their shitty YouTube videos or Twitch streams. The stream they're using was posted in another thread anyway. Here you go, the fight pass prelims are done so I'm not using it:

http://buffstream.com/watch/mma.php

Those phallic graphics hahaha

>>77372139
they are usually funny as fuck the videos. MMA related. Its way better than commercials.
The stream is dope.
You are just perma offended kike

Hope this BR monkey faggot gets knocked out

>>77372191
You've got issues man

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>>77372221
ofcourse I do, i'm on this shit hole on a saturday night.
We all do, get some

>>77372139
You got a mobile friendly steam?

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>>77372191
They really aren't, mate. Offended by what? I don't give a shit about American politics. You sound like a fucking teenager desperately trying to fit in by spouting as many buzzwords as you can. I'm sorry I insulted your god awful friend simulator. Which mod are you?

how long till main card

this is a time critical question i can stay awake 2 hours tops

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>>77372284
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBCexqhk5xQ

I found this song because of heemtube Its funny as hell

>>77371933
prime aldo

>>77372298
Main card in 50 minutes, main event at 6am uk time

>>77372272
I would like to know this too for a mobile friend, I'm already on ace stream

>>77372284
Do you care about that 15 year old who was raped and then when she flagged down some random driver for help she was raped again?

>>77372034
>>77372072
>>77372102
>>77372191
>>77372255
Reminds me of when I just discovered /b/ and thought acting edgy was cool

>>77372298
IT'S ALWAYS
THE STUPID
EUROPEANS

>>77372284
http://news.sky.com/story/teenage-rape-victim-raped-again-by-driver-she-flagged-down-for-help-10964128

>>77372298
Main card starts in 50 minutes. Main event might start as late as 2.5 hours from now depending.

Renan's big bj lips will be wrapped around Aljamain's cock.

Anyone have a bigger fall than grace than Barao?

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>catchweight belt
the fuck is this?

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>>77372272
Nah mate, sorry. Try /mmastreams/, they usually list which one's mobile compatible as far as I'm aware.

>>77372330
Sometimes they post gold among the dozens of shitty videos they post every week. Like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAZcg4CJjlQ&t=38s

>>77372357
>>77372400
No I don't really. Why's that even relevant?

>>77372342
fuck that i've already been up for over 42 hours i'm gonna take my xanax and go to sleep

>>77372441
>No I don't really. Why's that even relevant?
The absolute state of England

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>>77372462
>randomly bringing up irrelevant rape cases just because I insulted taima
wew lad, you got issues.

>>77372428
32 fight win streak is pretty good. You have to lose eventually and TJ as your only two BW losses isn't really a mark of shame.

>>77371935
lol get outta here 202er

>>77371214
Left.

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>>77372368
What 6 months ago.
nu-male fag

>>77372525
It just happened so its fresh on my mind

And you're a bong

>>77372442
You're a muppet

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>>77372400
daily life in BONgistan.
They did it to themselves.
Remember that.
they LOL imported niggers and muslims.

This ksnt going dmfmmmfast enougj when is jon gonna fight

>>77372554
Confirmed newfag