You will die unless football player you pick score a penalty

Beckham

Martin Palermo

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I want to die anyway

Peortti, he's the best penalty taker i ever saw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U5b60g8K68
sorry for the edgy music and editing, it's the only video i could find

>inb4 zaza.webm

>>77342632
the barcelona guy who flops

Obviously I would pick the best ever football player, Lionel Messi. No way this can go wrong.

>>77342687

he would miss it three times to make sure you are dead

>>77342723
that's VERY vague

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>>77342632
im already a very unlucky guy so pic related will cancel out my shit luck

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Am i safe?

Assuming he's fit, Reus

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my boy charles never fails them

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What we doing tomorrow then boys?

Alexis Sanchez

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47 out of 48 pens scored in his career

>>77342632
Robert Lewandowski

He hasn't missed any penulty in years now.

I pick Zaza. Just end my suffering.

>>77343020
c-can i pick him too?

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>>77342632
Le epic shit on field man

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this shit right here

I pick Zidane and he scores a panenka!!

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southampton era lambert

I pick Lewa, that was easy

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the suffering would end at last

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Le Southampton penalties man

>>77342632
lewadickski or barry thwkane

>>77343482
The correct answer.

>>77343482
>>77343825
Isn't that bloke supposed to be gud? Seemed like a lazy bum for Vitória

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As he ever missed one?

>>77344164
He is playing really well for Fluminense

>>77342632
unironically balotelli

>>77342632
I choose myself
>relying on another man to bail you out
cuck mentality

>>77344357
>Choosing yourself out of pride and arrogance when there's clearly better options available

Try hard false alpha pretending to be a "leader" spotted

The real question is, who's the goalie?

>>77344396
is this shopped? no way he's that skinny

>>77342632
Le Tissier. Never missed a penalty in his career iirc, or maybe he missed one.

>>77344164
He's doing well on Flu, but what really matters is that no one has been able to catch his penaltys so far this season.

>>77342955
This, patrician choice

>>77344429
>not having faith in your abilities
massive, massive beta detected

>>77342632
Penaldo

>>77342632
ZAZA

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TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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>>77342632
Litmanen took propably over two hundred penalties during his career. Hit the post twice, rest went in.

You can stop posting in this topic now since there is absolutely no point of picking anybody else.

balotelli

>>77344396
He missed his last penalty kek

I take the shot myself. Leaving your fate in another mans hands is the highest form of cuckold

>>77342632
Hazard

>>77344357
This nigga gets it. Congrats germanbro

>>77347335
+99% "choices" you make have already been taken by someone else

>>77344252
Does soccer not keep stats?

>>77347355
This is pure cuck mentality

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>>77342632

*smashes it in the top corner*

>>77347362
It isn't as easy as in American sports where only 20 or 30 teams exist in the whole world

>>77347376
No, it's called capitalism

>>77347355
So why not leave the rest in other people's hands as well?
Proper beta.

>>77347387
Yes. Jotting something down in a spreadsheet is so fucking difficult. Why are third worlders so incompetent?

>>77347392
You probably don't feel it so deep in you because you were lucky enough to be born as a white male in a first world country, but at the time you are born most of your life is already chosen for you and there isn't much you can do about it

>>77347400
Computers are really ecpensive mate. Check your privelege. Most of these people grow up in hovels and would marvel at superior american lifestyle of electricity and running water. Maybe we should donate some bic pens and legal pads to give them a boost?

>>77347422
How does that apply to the question at hand, you fucking idiot?

>>77347422
Please keep posting. Im having the best laugh ive had in weeks. Please elaborate on how my life is predetermined

>>77347450
Which question, taking the penalty? There are thousands of people who kick a ball for a living, they are by definition better than you at it

A smart choice would be let it to someone else. In the same way you don't represent yourself in court not psychoanalise yourself

>>77347482
What an utterly hopeless individual.

>>77347508
Would you do your own surgical interventions just because you are an enlightment and empowered individual? That's just being autistic, insecure and afraid of interaction

>>77347387
Wait wtf? Soccer doesnt keep stats? How is this possible?

>>77347531
A real man would
www.bbc.com/news/magazine-32481442

>>77347531
Strawman.

>>77347564
Ya, because there wasn't anyone else to do it

>>77347537
According to argentina its because its too hard to write stuff down. This is the same brilliant mind currently lecturing on nuanced subjects like capitalism and philosophy. Please pull up a chair. Im making popcorn

>>77347582
So instead of accepting his predetermined fate he took his life in his own hands you say?

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>>77342632
this thread is a fucking disgrace

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ez survival

Can I take the Argentina's Men National team in penalty kicks in championship games?

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>>77342760
this

>>77347818
A solid 7 if i ever saw one

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>>77342632
This gormless-looking fucker. He had a 98% career conversion rate for penalties.

>>77347923
and 100% pie consumption conversion rate.

>>77347923

He missed one and never took another one after that. I wouldn't trust him

>>77347947
he got exposed

Higuain

What could go wrong?

>>77345503

This.
He only misses when it actually matters

This thread makes it easy to spot the redditcucks.

>Ctrl F
>"Alan Shearer"
>0 results

What's the average age on /sp/ these days? 17?

Ronaldo, tell him he gets all of messis balloon d'ors if he makes it and gets to take his shirt of in front of messi's family

>>77347335
>He says this while posting on a website with an MLP section

>>77347639
100% conversion rate reporting in

>>77342828

Not really

>>77342693
My nigga

is there a stastic whose players penalties were most on target? I feel like that's a bigger factor than stirctly conversion rate, especially with the small sample sizes we're provided

I pick that guy who shot the last peno at the African Cup something like 2-3 years ago against Drogba's. Either a spectacular goal or i am dead. Wouldn't have it any other way

Totti

>>77348267

It was 5 years ago

https://youtu.be/OAqFC7GT4As?t=4m55s

courtois, no one can save the lanky left leg power shot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pVJ7Q0ifIc&ab_channel=Highlightsgoals

I think thats the fastst penalty shot ive ever seen

>>77348282
>those praying skills

>>77347884
Misses when it counts.
Though I guess your life doesn't actually count so you're good.

balotelli. any other choice is retarded

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>>77342632

>

>>77342715
cool guy, rated

>>77342917
This man gets it