/heem/- stitch albu edition

>>77334985
Where's the NEWS!

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who is your consensus pound for pound number one favorte woman mma fighter!?

this is the thread

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>>77334985

>>77334985
hi babe

>>77335003
I'm just waiting for dude to throw a spamming fit again

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>>77335003
joke is on you i'm the spammer and you're a shitskin

Wmma losers please leave

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>>77335002

>>77335021
Nice '''''''''''''''''''''life'''''''''''''''''' you've got there, why don't you fill out a job app. instead of waiting for some zilch to post spam you fucking zilch?

>>77335031
I like watching sloppy wmma fights though it's like watching Worldstar heems

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>>77335024

Lmao he's so angry we didn't join his shitty thread, Well done guys!

>>77335044
Oh he's triggered already

L E G S
E
G
S

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Cormier vs Jones
Woodley vs Maia
Cyborg vs Evinger
Lawler vs Cerrone
Manuwa vs Oezdemir

>>77335073
Nice try docksperg

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>>77335073
lol nope

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>>77335068
Way better than kailin

>>77335058
That last thread (jon jones in OP) literally was mine, I waited until 380? posts to spam scat but the mod didn't take the bait lol

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>>77335024

Literally LMAOing right now at JBJ trying to play mind games and DC not giving a fuck about it.

>>77335031
You first

>tfw 6'1" 250 lbs at 18% bf

i would have to literally risk my life to cut to 205 where i would probably get memed to death anyway by cowardly, genetically inferior lanklets like Jones or Gus, or stay at my "natural" weight and get murdered by freaks like Brock, Reem, and JDS who have been playing this game for decades and have multiple accolades outside of the UFC to their name

Fuck my life. i'm a victim of the system.

>>77335090
>>77335090
Are you demented kiddo?

Imagine being dumb enough to pay for UFC events

>>77335113
Hunts like 5'11" you have no excuses

https://pastebin.com/PjT0pen6

Some leaf pasted this earlier, decent read on the new weight classes among other things

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KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN
KEEP ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN

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>>77335121
literally lmao at their lives

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>>77335073
Cormier
Maia
Cyborg
Cerrone
Manuwa

>>77335113
getting down to 10% bf wouldn't be risking your life

>>77335113
>Being that fat and that short
lose weight tubby

Is docksperg really a manlet?

>>77335156
docksperg literally has nothing to do with any of this spam he's not a spammer

K but is that actually picksguy or not

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schaub as a cop
clean shaven, all business

>>77335166
t. docksperg

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HARDY WORK!!!!

>>77335178
no i'm just pretending to be him, he has an elaborate tripcode that is literally unbreakable

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JJJJJJOOOOOOOOONMMMM
TWWWWOOOOOOOOOO
SUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCC

Oh godness. This is the most salt and drama filled card ever. I love it, the trashy bastard that I am.

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Man I want this Fight Pass offer

>>77335189
What's the point of this? You think even one person in here unironically is going to be surprised when Floyd beats Conor in a boxing match?

>>77335190
>>77335178
Considering that it's Thursday is he ded? Did the Wideman choke him out too?

>>77335208
My guys will be surprised for sure 100%

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>>77335208

>>77335237
Yeaaaah

>>77335208
/box/ is very slow general, they come to troll us

masvidal has boxed all his life and been around great boxers he actually said awkward angles lol, but he said conor most likely won't even win the 1st round

>>77335253
I got nothing but time

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>>77335208
>tfw retarded friends fall for Brendon Skweeb's angle memes

For sure I know a few people who will be surprised if Goober doesn't heem Floyd in 1st.

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Would heem you all

>tfw keto diet

>>77335254
>>77335265
Read what Jorge said he knows boxing and mma as much as anyone who fights at a high level, so schaub wasn't completely making shit up

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>>77335268

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NujNmpgwPF4

cerrone SHOOK

>>77335208
The only people I see thinking Conor has a chance are white trash "Irish american" casuals. Anyone with 2 brain cells to rub together knows Floyd is going to win a lopsided decision and people are going to be pissed off just like the Pacquiao fight

>>77335268
I would unironically take you on a tour in another plane of space and time my dude

>>77335283
david is actually good looking, packing, and is 6'0 tall

lithcuck has a huge nose, ugly, talentless, and 5'7

>>77335268

Aren't you like 5'7'' or some shit?

>>77335268
still ducking spain?

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>>77332063
Francisco Filho completed it

>>77335305
I would unironically pay up to 5 american dollars to watch spainsperg and lithcuck go at it

Ok /heem/, Dana got too into rough housing with Tito and has to be consoled for a minute, allowing you to set your own walk out music. What song plays on your way to the ring?

>>77335317
Kek, that's more than UFC would get from me

>>77335268
It won't take me even half a punch to sleep that Rockhold'esque chin.

>>77335288

Lawler looks like one of those fucks who would be doing this shit even if he didn't get paid at all just because he likes fucking people up.

>>77335289
You can't just keep saying this shit overlooking the fact that Floyd is fucking 40 and his hands are that of Stephen Hawking

>>77335288
Man Lawler is as stoic as ever

>>77335319
Don Henly: boys of summer

>>77335330
White trash detected

>>77335319
I LOOOOVEEE YOUUUU JESUUUUS CHRIIIIIST

>>77335288
*wears black trenchcoat and walks towards you*

>>77335330
What papa old age heemed May's chin already? Grega would just need to touch it

>>77335319
https://youtu.be/1v1iZUiBJiQ

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>>77335073
Cormier
Woodley
Cyborg
Lawler
Manuwa

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>Anon, I need a spotter. You can deadlift at least 500lbs right?

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>>77335330

>>77335338
>you're wrong I'm right

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>all murricans posting under the same flag

There really should be state flags next to their posts instead of American flag.

>>77335365
>y-you too!

>>77335330
All you people who are falling for the "Floyd's hands" meme are buying wolf tickets. And who cares if he's 40 Bernard Hopkins won a title at 47 against an actual pro boxer, not an mma fighter

>>77335376
>Damn, Washington is submitting a lot of picks

>>77335372
>>77335376
Get these ugly toothpaste flags off /heem/

>>77335376
shut up and be grateful you live in the beautiful country of croatia the nicest fucking place i've ever been unironically and i've been to a lot of countries

>>77335401

I'm moving to US tho.

>>77335288

Damn, Lawler is pretty handsome for a bald dude. What's his secret?

>>77335403
What state?

>>77335268

You remember that time you were talking shit to me and I slammed your head into the table in front of all your friends? You didn't do shit then, you won't do shit now. You're a bitch.

>>77335423

Cali.

>>77335376
Nah that would take away our anonymity.

>>77335140
>>77335364
Hello newfriends

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>>77335365
Do you think Dana will dump calvillo for albu after this weekend? I know I would

>>77335427
I'm northern California, eastbay. What part for you?

>>77335288
Knight could shock the world

>>77335406
big round head. robbie looks like a fat manchild with hair.

>>77335406
I guess the real question is... What's your secret? Something you want to share with us?

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>>77335047
did someone say worldstar heems?

>>77335406
being in good shape, his head shape works for being bald

>>77335449
For sure my man Albu looks like an actual woman

>>77335460
I think people are underrating lamas

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>>77335452

I don't know yet. Probably south Cali, around LA.

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Ever notice how all the GOATS are bald?

>>77335486
You want northern for sure, SF bay area. LA has horrible traffic and people, see yuu son boi

>>77335427
>Cali.
From Croatia to California? I swear I want to break your jaw. It was so beautiful there, so peaceful, so white.

>>77335486
>>77335496
Oh that's right you're that weirdo who is into asian, black and other non-human primates.

>>77334985
dose legs

>>77335289
kek this is me but I don't think he'll win, just hoping he pulls it off by some miracle

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>>77335509

>>77335509
Asian girls have the smoothest legs

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top cringe

>>77335526
that fuck supports fascism, i want every nonwhite on the planet dead and then zero rules of any kind you freedom hating zilch

>>77335529
Fugg'n weirdos man

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>>77335488

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>>77335509

Why are /pol/tards such faggots?

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Anyone remember this little guy?

>>77335550
Wouldeat

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>>77335550
>not posting the one that shows her legs

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how bold do you have to be to throw a spinning backfist in a street fight?

I've just finished all the Pride cards. Am I a hardcore fite fan now?

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>>77335585

I can't tell which is which from thumbnail.

>>77335568
Fags like you always post aesthetic blonde guys like they're your new puppy

>>77335602
Uma delicia

>>77335602
Who is that?

>>77335615

THICC translator qt.

Watch Knight and Lamas staredown from tonight.

They just agreed to put on a spicy banger.

This is FOTN, cap this post

>>77335557
>Sean the roid shark sherk

Frankie Edgar is going to wrestlefuck Holloway right?

>>77335620
>qt

idk

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>>77335557

>>77335602
she looks like a 35 year old 15 year old

>>77335541
wow

Did Uriah hall fuck Jennifer Lopez?

>>77335541
is that you???

>>77335635
Who is the girl

Gleison Tibau

>>77335672
Natty 100%

>>77335621
"gotta give ourselves CTE for papa Dana to give us an extra 50gs"

>>77335635
just bleed af desu

>>77334985


https://www.instagram.com/p/BWVxONYAqT2/?taken-by=stitchalbu&hl=en

fugggg
im betting on her

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>>77335631
Funny thing is since McGregor fight nobody tried to wrestle Holloway, not a single guy. All of the guys with exception of Oliveira were content to stand and bang. And Oliveira got a freak injury TKO.
It's hard to tell where's Holloway's takedown defence at

>>77335622
This was so tiring. He wasn't on roids, and whatever he was on, it was for a short period of time.

>>77335635
Yeah Tim Sylvia was boring.

>>77335724
Jermyn Stephens way bigger and Edgar easilly controlled him, I see a boring fight tbqh

>>77335705
holy shit, this bitch is fighting this saturday.
Went totally under my radar.
Damn guys, I think I got a new fightfu! Does she has a chance?

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dc is weird as fuck

Anyone else see this? I thought this was hilariously stupid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpO2DbYvsjs&t=1266s

>>77335705
wew

>>77335750
So glad /ourguy/ Jon is gonna smash this weirdo again

>>77335750
DC is everyone's dad

>>77335681

bangin bros are making a comeback, especially with gaethje now in the ufc promoting being a banging memer

its fun to watch lets enjoy it led

>>77335765
Is she croatian??? S-Shes perfect breeding material

>>77335772
ty

>>77335765
Degenerate freak.

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>>77335765
You really want wrestlefucker Frankie to be a champ over swanger and banger Max ?

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>>77335752
JUST

>>77335793

I don't like Max.

I don't even know why, I just don't like him for some reason.

Ngannou 2bh

>>77335793
Frankie getting the 145 belt on his 3rd(?) try would be a travesty

Max is so fun to watch, watching him get wrestlefucked would hurt

>>77335809
>likes frankie

fag

which female fighter will be the next champion?

>>77335750
he seems like a bully tbqh

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>>77335809
Cause he's ugly as sin, I find him funny to be honest, his goofy face in particular

>>77335822
Probably Cyborg?

>>77335809
must not be black enough for your nigger loving ass, you're perfect for california, vote to secede

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>>77335822
Christine Justino

>>77335837
Calm your autism you mega-sperg pol browsing loser what a chump

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Makes you think

Dana White is fucking hated by Jon Jones. I hope Jon literally kills him. He deserves to be murdered.

How hard would it be for a 16 year old girl to start full time training in MMA and become UFC champ in 4 years' time?

Feels like there's only a few women in the world who even know what the sport is, surely this is an easy way to become rich and famous for a young girl?

>>77335853
Makes me think our MW champ is a bum "defend you are self at all times"

>>77335837

There isn't a single black fighter that I like.

How would Zyzz have done in MMA?

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>>77335073
fake picks guy

>>77335898
Would have heem'd a few kunts

Why is it always Americans who defend fighters on UFC MAIN CARDS being able to be paid $10,000?

The UFC is the biggest promotion in MMA through creating a monopoly and using it to lowball the majority of the fighters

>>77335898
About the same way Sage is doing right now but much worse

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>>77335878
4 years is too little to be a champ, the top of the wmma divisions are women who trained at least 10 years. Your hypothetical chick would hit the wall at top 5 probably, good enough to beat all the cans not good enough to hang with the very few who know what they are doing.

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>>77335898
pic related

>>77335926
First smart thing you've ever said in these threads

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>>77335878
Calvillo went from being a waitress to a top 10 fighter almost overnight because the division is so thin. But the gap between the top 2 or 3 chicks and everybody else is huge and getting wider because the pay is competitive with other female combat sports

>>77335765
This doesn't do ig for me

Trying to be a sweet girl while clearly looking like a thot, only to prove she is a thot when she turns around

>>77335946
That's harsh man

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>mfw could heem every in this thread

>>77335962
Lithbro, I'm afraid there is no such thing as a "sweet girl"

>>77335955
Has scotty been executed by the chinese government yet

>>77335955
based scotty

>>77335962
>Trying to be a sweet girl

Are you still a virgin?

>>77335970

come at me, bro

>>77335970
First of all I would open with a stiff spinning body kick to the liver, this would surprise because you wouldn't expect me to open up with such an unconventional shot as the first exchange, then I'd drop my hands low and lull you into a false sense of security I'd slip your first haymaker and come back quick with a quick short uppercut that would stun you, I'd continue to stand in the pocket and trade with you because you're a pillowfisted little kangaroo with laughable testesterone, I'd pepper your soft body with body shots and finally put you away with the counter left square on the chin, then I'd follow up with vicious ground and pound and make sure I bounced your head on the canvas like Michael Jordan in his prime.

my hue mrs is wasted after 3 bottles of wine with her hue mates

she's shrieking and hueing the fucking house down

wat do

>>77336034
go date a white girl you weirdo

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>post yfw none of the fights get cancelled and every matchup is spicy and lives up to the hype

>>77336050
too early desu

>>77336034
tell her to cala sua boca and then call her friends viados

hue girls love when you try to speak their language

>>77335955

lmfao thank you

>>77335898
He would've made it brah

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>>77336050
There's already been plenty of pull outs from this card

>>77335199
What salt besides DC and Jones and Jones and Dana

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>>77335750

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>>77336054
my hype level is at maximum, i can't hold it in

>>77335964
Ignore him you're cool

>>77336079
refuse to let myself get hyped after 209

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>>77336069
obviously i mean between now and PPV time

>>77336065
ALL YOU CAN EAT, BABY

>>77335926
Well most of these women who train for 10 years also do it part time. Like 1 day a week, with zero weight training. They also start late.

Now imagine an athletic 16 year old, still developing physically, training full time for 4 years.

You got a little sister we could try this on?

JON
BONES
JONES

>>77336069
who?

>>77335970
This is the ideal male body.

>>77335750
>DC forcing others to practice that SUCC

>>77336117
too bulky.

Will Barao unJUST himself on Saturday?

>>77335809
haole detected

>>77336137
He'll miss weight

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>>77336136
it'd be near perfect if he grew several inches

>>77335365
dick is diamonds.
had to look at a picture of her face to calm it down

>>77336107
Keep your eye on Angela Lee

https://streamable.com/srqlz

Have you seen this rare Schaub?

>McGregor has no power

hmm...

>>77336069
choi?

>>77336155
he'll get cut if he does, shit is at 140

>>77335529
I go to reddit when I get tired of u fags then I come back and I don't even mind the schuab poster anymore

>>77336113
Megan Anderson
Doo Ho Choi
Sage Northcutt
Chan Sung Jung
Claudio Puelles
John Makdessi
Adam Wieczorek
Dmitri Smoliakov
Sara McMann
Ketlen Vieira

Were all at some point supposed to be on this card

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>>77335529

>>77336193
oh right

still prepared for one of the main fights to pullout desu

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>>77335488
yes

JOOONNNNNNN
O
O
O
N
N
N
N
E
E
S
S
S

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO BOI

IMM
M
M

SUCCINN
U
C
C
I
N
N

>yfw you realize jon jones hasn't even reached his prime

>>77336107
All the top girls went through that type of training that you speak of, that's why the gap is so high.
On one hand you got world champions coming from sports that don't pay nothing on the other you have part time boxercising girls.
Valentina probably has more hours of training in her lifetime than all the unranked wmma's combined

>>77335973
Heh. You would be surprised of how many 15yos are still good
This event is too spicy. Sorta not feeling the hype, but I bet it will feel surrreal when they do fight

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>>77336242
>vs Brock will be his final form

>>77336107
I like how you're pretending like this isn't happening right now lol

>>77336129
>>77336235
if banana fought socal boy
when they touch
would their reality explode?

>>77336250
What is legal age out there pham?

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>>77336242
he went from 3 day coke binge Jon to his final form: in bed by 8:30 Jon. A true role model and man of the people

Is Lawler getting heemed?

spergy how come you don't do the news anymore?

you used to love it

live for it, even

>>77336250
It's easy to pretend to be a 15 year old too when you are the same height as them, huh ?

>>77336315
No

>>77336315
Like a Rhinestone Cowboy

>>77336330
Shut yer mouth yer lil weasel

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If Silva hadn't pulled that bullshit against Weidman and broke his loosing streak, you think he could have defended the title a further 2-3 times before retiring?

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>>77336360
or whut or fooking whut ?
yewl do nuttin, yewl do fookin nuttin, get tha fook outta here

>Sonnen believes Jones will get the job done at UFC 214. Furthermore, the Oregon native is confident the 30-year-old Jones will do so in easier fashion than he did in his first collision with Cormier, 38, back in 2015.

>"When a younger fighter beats an older fighter and then they rematch...the younger fighter wins again only easier," Sonnen told FloCombat. "That is the rule of fighting and holds true in boxing, wrestling or MMA. You would have to go back and search two decades to find a scenario where that didn't happen."

If DC wins this thing I will never not doubt Chael again

>>77336401
He picked Gastelum last week

>>77336394
>C..Conor... no don't
>Conor don't throw that

>>77336390
>rockhold
>romero
>Jacare
>moose
>possibly whittaker
I think he could have possibly gotten 2 of these guys before getting deleted by the 3rd

Jones head looks about 3 times larger

he's on the HGH

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>>77336414
Fuck I meant beef and cheese burritos.

>>77336401
Bisping picked Jones reluctantly out of his friendship with DC. He has surprisingly good record at picking main events on his podcast

>>77336414
Unfortunately you can't post stuff like this here.

>>77336314
Looks like a young thug wearing a shirt for the first time to go to court.

>>77336423
He would've beaten Machida and USADA'd Vitor

>>77336414
>loyal to coca cola
Shill or do you genuinely take sides with multinational corporations?

>>77336423
Lets say the next 2 challengers after Chris are the same, Machida and Belfort, how does Anderson match up with them ? Could he counterstrike with counterstriking Lyoto ? Would he be able to heem Vitor once again ?

>>77336450
I think thats pretty apparent. My list was the most likely contenders if he got past weidman

>>77336467
Pepsi tastes like garbage, I've been drinking Coke my whole life. Pepsi is just shit that's all.

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I owe the piper some miles today

>>77336475
>>77336450
ah fuck my bad I forgot about machida and vitor

>>77336472
I think he finishes both tbqh

>>77336493
Is this code for giving a trucker head in 7 eleven bathroom?

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>>77336437
What did he mean by this

when do betting lines close, first time better here going to make fuck you money on maia cap this gg fags

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>>77336524
man she is so cute and seems so fun to hang out with unlike most other meatheads in this sport

>>77336541
She is a meathead

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Is this a 10/10 in Cali?

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>tfw I could bake every in this thread

>>77336553
She was genetically modified to be perfect championship dog breeding material
>>77336559
Bake some mushrooms jaagup!

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>>77336541
Usually brings the heat, too

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>>77336548
it's called space explorer baby

I AM THE BADDEST.MAN.ON.THE.PLANET!!!!

>>77336587
Fuck Elon musky

>>77335084
jelly of those forearms

>>77335113
>this guy again

you trying to make this a meme or what? we all know you're 5'10" 250lbs 40% bodyfat

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>>77336553
ayy lmao

>>77336559
what do you call that shit estonia cuz from over here it looks like a stromboli

>>77336625
Magic mushroom bread

>>77335330
His reactions would have to be completely fucked for goobs to land on him.
I want goobs to win but you really can't pick a worse fighter to debut against, he'll get schooled

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>>77336541
100% my man, rose is a beast

>>77336625
Rasvavõre

>>77335526
>some reddit spergs and normies took the KEK meme and completely ruined it
>somehow this is relevant

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Holy shit I didnt know floyd was a cryptofag.

>>77336695
You can clearly see the 4chan symbol in the top left bud

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what did robbie mean by this?

DC isn't a nig.
Jones isn't a nig.

Tyrone is a nig. A racist nig.

>>77336709
Everyone is a Cena fan deep down.

>>77336717
Woodley is NIGGER

>>77336705
>Comments on that picture
Mcgregor fans are mentally 11 years old

>>77336682
which one of these guys is valentina's boyfriend?

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Is it that time again?

>>77336709
Why does his shirt look like a can of PBR

>>77336559
>look at me I rolled turkey and cheese in pastry dough

WGAF

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>>77335541
Why not just everyone back to their native countries you edgelord

>>77336617

I'll have two please.

Also, Felice lookin thicc

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>>77336617
>>77336553

okay so first thing is that is literally the ugliest woman i've ever seen

second who are those black men seemingly always in the back of these videos

it's like product placement but for races

Is Hendricks vs Weidman the fight to make?

>>77336755
Chris vs Jacare is the fite to make

>>77336707
Yes I know, but 4chan never made that kekistan faggotry, just the idea of it with KEK and invading an island

>>77336739
i mean he has to lose this time right?

>>77336760

Khabib is the best LW in the world

>>77336767
>imagine being an asian nigger

how does that even work

>>77336755
If GSP wants to fight Bisping they should make him rematch Hendricks at 185 first

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>>77336767
Uhhm, mate..

>>77336764
Probably this.

Give the guy what he needs, undersized welterweights or old brazilians.

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>>77336760
>AKGay

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>>77336788
imagine being buttblasted for one year straight

>>77336803
you cant post roiders on /heem/ bro, sorry

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>>77336767
>mfw tyrone taps to the human cellophane

>>77336739
Not triggered, he's just a whiny cunt.
Good fighter, great power, great speed, great wrestling, but a whiny cunt all the same

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Ryan Jimmo is dead guys, you need to move on

>>77336818
Woodley is roider

>>77336818
who's upset? you pathetic trolls consistently try to shill a racist. I'm just trying to bring some humanity to the conversation.

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your mom is a fan

>>77336828
Watching that Mayweather-McGregor press conference made me fear for Dana's life. I've never sen a human being so red

>>77336788
>chigger

theyre more likely than one thinks ay

[spoiler]every canadian poster ever[/spoiler]

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>>77336767
Demian Maia is a nice guy and it wouldn't be a tragedy if he won, but these polturd losers are so salty ever since Tyron destroyed their last great white hype.

yesterday you guaranteed woodley would win in under a minute, let's see how that holds up

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>>77336739

>>77336837
Please Dillon. Please fight RoMac. You'll tap him easy, no way will you get brutally heemed, never.

>>77336705
>Floyd is a cryptofag
Floyd has no idea what crypto currencies are. Besides that this is a scam ICO by the bancor team. This nigga and his management are con artist!

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I'm redoing the calendar and I'm stumped on colors and design passed this. Any advice or tips?