Heem

Who is your favorite woman fighter?

>>77308715
Who gives a fuck

>>77308715
really makes me think

>>77308673 #
Funny, the only other person I've seen use the phrase "friend simulating" is picksbro. He does ban evade a lot. Good chance he's the spammer imo.

https://youtu.be/7suo0k0r53I
https://youtu.be/7suo0k0r53I
https://youtu.be/7suo0k0r53I

NEW EMBEDDED TWO IN ONE DAY

Ask a guy who broke Salman Khan's ribs in a Bollywood blockbuster anything

>>77308755
KANG MOOOHAMED LAWAAL

>>77308761
>eugene having to share airtime with literal whos
ain't watching this shit

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>>77308779
>he doesn't know

damn thats a good ass OP. tired of those wmma OPs

I made a bet with a friend that I could name several non-explosive black fighters. By black, he said they have to be dark skinned so guys like Mighty Mouse and DC don't count. Here's my list so far:
1. Phil Davis
2. ...
Can anyone help?

>>77308822
Marcus Jones

>>77308843
My favorite part is when they weigh in and are dehydrated and malnourished.

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>>77308801
Thanks man i try

>>77308839
Quite possibly the worst example I've seen

>>77308822
Kamaru Usman? Leon Edwards?

Tfw what can we do, heem, to that scat posting sperg. There is no way to rid of him, and he bans other posters by spamming reports.

What did we do to deserve this.

>>77308843
is normal
even the bloodyelbow workers enjoy it

>>77308862
Leon yes Kamaru no

>>77308864
He is spiteful because we aren't on /asp/ and his general is.

>>77308864
Maybe he'll start to make fun of the janitor to earn his ire

>>77308862
Aljo? He's very physical but is methodical about it

>>77308843
Depends what country you will be in

>>77308843
I got a half chub when rose choked waterson. I just found it really hot for some reason

>>77308864
>bans other posters

Take the phonepill

>>77308822
magny

>>77308843
when i was young and heart healthy i would do this with the girls i dated, not picture related seriously but black and blues on arms and legs (and they would do it back)

>>77308822
Anthony "40 pounds" Hamilton
Danielle Taylor

>>77308897
My iPhone is range banned I don't know how the scatspammer didn't get his phone banned.

>>77308913
>>77308897
I truly see now

>>77308822
probably think i'm trolling but all real

rumble, tyron, francis, jon, cunt who just lost to justin gathedjedh, all the black people i can think of

>>77308905
>>77308843
The perfect time is when you're in between being passionate and getting sick of regularly seeing each other. This was when I was real young though, pretty much only a teenager. I wouldn't even jokingly do that now if I could I'd probably get arrested.

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remember when Baby Cynthia 30-27'd a muay thai world champion?

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Michael Dukakis

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>>77308946
What did he mean by this?

>>77308942
>muay thai world champion
how bad must those other muay thai fighters be? lol, joanne obviously understands muay thai but she's just a terrible athlete

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>>77308954
Fake news

>>77308983
So do you have all that scat and gore saved on your phone?

>>77308942
>I hope I don't get robbed.
-Cynthia Calvillo to Joanne Calderwood inside the cage

>>77308983
*kisses christopher hitchen's ass*

REMINDER THAT THE CHRIS IS BACK

THATS HIS BELT, HE IS THE CHAMP

How come people care if fighters 'draw' or not? This isn't WWE.

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>>77308928
>Tyron
>Ngannou
>Michael "Throws MOABs" Johnson
>FUCKING RUMBLE EXPLOSION JOHNSON
Are you the same idiot who posts their shitty picks that are 100% wrong or are all Australians drooling retards?

>>77309027
every australian picked gastelum lol

>>77309029
Why do you care if people care? Would you rather we spam scat?

>>77309042
You're obviously the drooling retard for taking his bait

>>77309029
Not really sure, honestly. I think people care because they are stuck in that WWE mindset like pickbro saying you can only be a goat if you have a good personality.

>>77309042
At this point he samefags and picks both sides for every big fight just so he doesn't get btfo the day after events

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>>77309027
DAS RITE

Our boy is back.

>>77309051
Bit of a stretch, going from fighters drawing to scat porn.

>>77309029
It justifies keeping fighters they find boring off the TV

>>77309065
Money makes the world go round. Stuff related to it is bound to be a discussion point

>>77309065
there's 10x more discussion about it than actual spam, notice how it's not even happening in this thread yet it's been talked about

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>>77309013
He's a 46 year old hobbyist. I guarantee most competitive blue belts would decimate him. Fuck, I think I would fuck him up in an MMA match on sheer wrestling experience alone.
>ywn bulldog choke him to sleep while whispering "Hume drunkenly asked a question three hundred years ago which destroys your entire life's work"
Pic related

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>>77309094
Lol

Rogan should get something like that. Probably the most closed minded "open minded" person ive ever seen

>>77309094
mayer is an unbearable shill, his standup is worse than rogans, the only good thing ever on that show was hitchens calling him and his faggot audience out

>>77309092
Who gives a fuck? Just enjoy the fights

>>77309094
You seem like a brilliant person and I'm sure your IQ is off the charts. Why must you spam scat in here though?

Why is reddit on DC's nuts so hard?

>>77309133
i don't know i've never been there why are you talking about it

>>77309124
I do enjoy the fights. Why do you give a fuck that other people give a fuck about something? Just enjoy your fights and quit whining about nothing.

>>77309143
>whining about nothing.
that's the point of life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnqnuNfMlx4

>>77309149
And making calendars

>>77308755
I gotta go with crazy horse

>>77309168
>serbia still talking about horses

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>>77309158

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>>77309158
>>77309183
thug rose was always my girl

>>77309183
>waterson vs. joanna would have happened

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>>77309186

>>77309042
>>77309054
not bait, tyron sit on the fence and do nothing EXPLOSIVE?
ngannou, fat slow hw EXPLOSIVE?
Johnson swinging pillowfists EXPLOSIVE?
Rumble, heres my arse mount me, EXPLOSIVE?

this isn't 5 years ago

>>77309202
Can Rose do this to Joanna?

>>77309121
>>77309123
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/05/the-atheist-who-strangled-me/309292/
>Most martial artists get illusions in training,” he said. For example, if you are trained as a boxer, you come to trust that an opponent won’t try to tackle you to the ground—because that’s not what people do in boxing rings. Instead they hit each other, with gloves on (another condition that is not very realistic). Boxers and karate experts therefore don’t actually know what would happen if they were to deliver a full-power uppercut or rabbit punch to an opponent. “The great strength of jiu-jitsu,” Harris told me, “is that there really are no illusions.”
Holy fuck I can't believe he's this deluded. I fucking train BJJ and love it but you aren't even allowed to slam from guard or strike. You get DQd from some basic ass takedowns like the polish throw or a simple mat return. Its as "complete" as boxing is.
>>77309129
I'm just a mobile poster. I'm not the scat faggot

>>77309181
Iz normal

>>77309214
Based aussie

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>>77309202
I always liked her, too

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>>77309215
no

Rose is a borderline meme, unfortunately

>>77309215
>loses to karolina

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>>77309229
>>77309240

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>>77309042
>he actually took the bait

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>>77309240

>>77309264
based malayGOD

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God I just want to lick the sweat off of her abs and mole before she sits on my face

>>77309264
see
>>77309214
not bait

>>77309264
Did Hardy and Gooden know that the Cheesecake Factory is an American chain restaurant? The way they said it during her last fight made it sound like she was working in a warehouse that mass produces cheesecakes.

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>>77309290

>>77309322
>>77309277
god i love the northern european masterrace

she's so retarded yet i still want to protect her

I'm unironically a black belt under a Gracie.

I could probably permanently cripple if not outright kill anybody here in a fight.

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America ruined this girl.

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>>77309340
Rose is always good for a confusing boner

>>77309373
>permanently cripple
joke is on you

>>77309395
lol that file name

>>77309094
what was the legendary question

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>>77309373
Which Gracie? Pretty sure Bert here would hand one out if you helped him with his W-2

>>77309403
Fucking explain or you're a lying fuck

>>77309240
girls always look so peaceful when they're getting choked or koed, like theyre feeling a satisfaction of submission that they rarely get to feel in modern society

>>77309447
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Is%E2%80%93ought_problem
It's referred to in the comic. Not much of a question actually. I should have said "raised a problem"

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>>77309484

>>77309505
thats a really bad example that i saw right as i posted, but i dont know if i'm crazy but it's something i notice when some chicks are getting battered or submitted they smile, like they are calm or content or ok or satisfied

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>>77309530

TheWeasle's 214 predictions:
Ortega
Barao
Lamas
Manuwa
Lawler
Cyborg
Tyrone
Jones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9YXc3A1PoM

I've bet on 3 of the fights and he agrees with 2 of my picks.

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>>77309431
Jeez what I'd give to choke out Waterson

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>>77309582
y?

>>77309589
It'd turn me on. Imagine her tight little tushy pushing into your dick as she struggles to escape. Imagine the mixed smell of her natural feminine fragrance with the terror pheromones in the air. And after she's out you can slowly and cautiously squeeze her breasts, and touch her wherever you want.

>>77309566
I'm still waiting for Chael to pic DC

>>77309620
I picked DC. I wait for Chael to pick Jones.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4eC2MTO9yo

King Reina media day workout is live

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>>77309186
Casual shows up after dwcs loool

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>>77308761
I'm trying to give this a shot. But it seems to just be inside jokes. Can someone please explain this lost battalion shit to me?

>>77309661
>>77309211
>>77309186
stop

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>>77309640

>>77309670
>posting qimma russo
baka this bitch only fucks white dudes

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>>77309244
>potato

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>>77309689
>ywn impress rich old guys with your fighting

Why live?

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>Tyrone Woodley defending WW belt
>not main event
>not even on the official poster
HAHAHAHA punished Tyrone

>>77309379
Yep

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>>77309379

>>77309751
feel like he's taking this fight lightly

doing a lot of media, movies, etc.

he getting slept desu

>>77309783
we're the ones getting slept

>>77309670
It's a joke, Eugene is one of the worst podcasters ever. The dude is close to fucking nuts and is an obvious grandiose liar. Count the namedrops in any given episode of his solo show.

>>77309612
this

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>Firecrotch Dyke is going to get her head caved in by Cyborg and there's nothing I can about it

>>77309847
the fight is going at least 3 rounds and cyborg is going to almost get finished at least once by submission

Reminder everyone who participates in this ''''''sport''''' gets a participation medal for getting CTE

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>>77309810
H8r b gone

Dillon Danis is a fucking bum!

>>77308942
she clearly lost that fight

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>got my money on DC
>mfw seeing his slow-ass sparring in training camp

Conor, Artem, Gunnar, and Dillon are the Entourage of MMA.

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>one coach says to never move my lower body while throwing punches
>other coach says my foot and hip should turn completely
>one coach says to stand with my shoulders up
>other coach says to stand with my shoulders relaxed
>one coach says to move my head with every punch
>other coach says to never move it

>>77309948
artem is Eric, Gunnar is Johnny and Dillon is turtle obviously

>>77309948
Conor's entourage is weak as fuck. Conor should be rolling with the likes of me.

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>>77309945
>people are seriously putting money on DC

>>77309951
>taking advice from 2 guys with CTE

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>>77309940
>2 30-27s
>29-28
>every single fight on nmmadecisions has it for cynthia

kek, when are you gonna give it up friendo. Cynthia is legit. shes top 5 in the world

>>77309972
>taking advice from an australian

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>>77309924
Mad cuz joannas a fan?

>>77309951
broscience

>>77309982
Where is Dallas Winston's scorecard?

>>77309984
lol

>>77309997
why does cynthia upset you?

>>77309984
If I dress like a fuccboi will Joanna blow me? I already have the hairstyle

>>77309984
Dresses like an inflatable vagina lmao he's a shitty grappler too

>>77310022
When will you stop being a pathetic Emma faggot?

>>77310022
I just want to see Dallas Winston's scorecard then Ill get back to you

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>auto-correct
>the obsessed dude is a phone poster
>THE phone poster
fucking kek. it all makes sense

>>77310043
I post from my phone from time to time too though

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succ succ time jon

>>77309951
>one coach says to never move my lower body while throwing punches

your coach sounds like a fucking retard, find a new gym

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>>77310068

RDA vs Neil Magny ufc 215
Jorge Masvidal vs Stephen Thompson tba

Interesting match ups

>>77310106
Rogan looks like a WWF No Mercy character

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turby quick question bud, how many people are you up to?

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>>77310124
this guy has more will power than us all combined

>>77310106
trying to see if he's been injecting delts

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>>77310124
kek

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for sure stop heeming me, my guy

>>77310124
kek

>>77307427
Bisping is the biggest fedora known to man

>>77309961
>artem is Eric, Gunnar is Johnny and Dillon is turtle obviously

That's how I think of them too.

Artem is Eric, Conor's most loyal boy who puts his own life and ambitions on hold to further Gooby's goals.

Gunnar is Johnny, a has been that's been thoroughly exposed and will probably never be a star again.

And Dillon is the """protege""" who is basically the errand boy for the group.

Starring Dana White as Ari Gold.

>>77310298
>Dana White as Ari Gold
not even close, ari was 100% bro always had your back, never lie to you

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>>77310329

What are you trying to say, goof?

>>77310329
Dana has been pushing for Conor since day 1, go be wrong about something somewhere else.

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Tell me where you supposedly began "winning the fight" please Jorge.

DC will succ

check the quadraticals

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Who is your favourite pre-Reebok sponsor?

i just saw dunkirk. English people are pretty badass, glad there's no germans posting ITT.

>>77310343
that dana is a shit cunt

>>77310348
stipped his belt, removed him from a card, made him retire, ari would have gotten him 4 belts and put all his friends on every card

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>>77310130
>>77310130

Come on dude I'm just asking

>>77310401

Dethrone yeh

>new [Embed]ed

>Demian Maia appears with his kid backpacking his leg

poetry boys

>>77309168
>crazy horse

>crazy

>c

>>77309244
>thats the same expression she would give when getting diddled

>you will never make her cry like this

why even live bros

>>77309589
DAYUUUMMMMM

LIU KANG LOOKS LIKE THAT

STILL GOT IT

hey pussy, are you still there?

>>77310491
are we still pretending

>>77310491
im here

>>77310491
BUT MY DICK WORKS

>>77310491
>pussy

are you still acting like you didn't not do shit when i slammed your head against the wall?

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did you pray to the heem gods that Gabi Garcia get's heem'd stiff today yet?

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>Matt Hughes might make a full recovery
For me, it's Jesus Christ

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real fightfans know that stipe tapped.

#notmychampion

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>>77310594
Show some respect you heathen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPImK4ls4XQ

>>77310525
She's fighting someone her own size at least. Would be a shame if the Reina fight didn't happen tho

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>I have a FightPass subscription

>>77310687
Poorfag

>>77309183
I´d love some groundfighting with both, Rose and Michelle

>>77310775
Any luck on selling those mushrooms jaagup?

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>>77310587
he got heemed by a truck and is recovering, jesus guy wont live past 60 but still whats it take to kill this guy. On a side note how do you get hit by a train?

>>77310806
What is it with Estonians and mushrooms?

>>77309589
>noass.jpg

>>77310835
Calma los huevitos

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>>77310806
I could buy half of your family Pedro.

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>>77309612

>>77310844
is that you edgestonia

>>77310844
Soon you need lawyer

>>77310853
its spain

>>77310811
There were several very dangerous unmarked railroad crossings close to where I lived in rural Illinois years ago. Probably got caught by surprise, hate to speculate but maybe he thought he was Superman and tried to beat the train across the tracks. Glad he's recovering

Woodley lost to Jake Shields Maia is going to kill him

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/kailin/

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>>77310880
you hype?

>>77310896
stop talking to yourself you annoying queer

>>77310872
Maia also lost to Shields. No shame in that

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>>77310906
>>>/asp/

>>77310918
>waifufag thinks he's not asp
kys

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>>77310918
dont give him (you)s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGKK8MgOffM

I just want Woodley to end this Memejitsu fag

>>77310975
why? and hows it a meme?

>>77310975
quick question, did you root for wondermeme in either fight?

>>77310981
I'm a JUST BLEED guy.

I hate grapplefuckers.

much on the line this weekend guys. I really, really want the fights to go my way

>>77310994
>Tyron
>JUST BLEED FIGHTER

>>77310996
if you bet money that you're not okay with losing then you already lost

>>77311003
>just bleed the clock

>>77310994
i love a good exchange

i love the term "exchanging" in the pocket

>>77309472
When will Ralek receive his Red Belt like Rickson and Renzo?

>>77311009
I wouldn't bet. Just want my boys to win

>>77310987
>rooting for stephen "teep deleted cans" thompson

>>77310975
it's good either way, woodley wins, not sure who get next title shot.

but interesting, if robbie wins and maia wins, he could get his title back and woodley rematch

Now that the dust has settled. Did Rumble actually throw the fight or was it the overhand from DC that made him give up?

>>77311081
he threw the fight

>>77311081
>>77311087
but only after he kicked dc and then ate that huge right. he was trying for a minute or two before

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>ywn go on a fun day with Gabi & Cris
Why live desu

>>77311207
does the "got a haircut on embedded" curse apply to women?

>>77311207

The crazy thing is that Gabi makes Cyborg look dainty and feminine. I never realized how fucking huge and beefy she actually was until the embedded, she legit looks like a man with long hair whose done at least a few steroid cycles.

>>77308822
Kevin Casey.

I win.

>>77311222
these women are already cursed enough

>>77311222
>Woman

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>>77311207
>>77311224
>>77311229
>unironically being gay on /heem/
what happen to you america?

>>77311238
Literally the epitome of masculinity

>>77310171

le real champ and everybody know it

>>77311238
gabi could crush your tiny pea head with those man hands little guy

>>77311242
check your test levels ischmael

>>77311244
>implying that's not hot

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Does anyone else wonder if Gabi actually has a soul, she has a dead behind the eyes look on her like some kind of animal or a fish or something. Could it be a robot?

>>77311207
more like Gabe and Chris

>>77310587

Will he beat Alvey Kulina?

lol
https://twitter.com/BrendanSchaub/status/889869707410649089

Daily reminder I could kill everyone in this thread

>>77311319
you think im just gonna sit here and let you kill me

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>>77311332

>>77311316
Whats the best martial art to focus on for completely avoiding CTE?

>>77311394
Parkour

Anyone here still training? I quit like 2 years ago and I've been meaning to get back

>>77311394
Gun-kata

>>77311394
aikido
crav maga

>>77308750
>>77308787
>>77308864
>>77308879
>>77308880
>>77308897
>>77308913
>>77308919
>>77308993
>>77309051
>>77309054
>>77309065
>>77309093
>>77309129
FUCKING STOP THIS TEENAGE CIRCLE-JERK BULLSHIT.

just fucking IM each other or get on the irc, ffs.
none of us care about your angsty gossip.

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Why does Holly have to crave the BBC so fucking much? Makes me sad to know that I wouldn't be able to pleasure her no matter how good I am at eating ass.

>>77310811
>how do you get hit by a train?
1. fail to impress GSP with your performance
2. fail to realize that GSP owns his own train

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>mfw could heem every in this thread

>>77311483
it's just JW

they are all either really friendly, or all boning eachother. so holly is either a saint, or JW is a giant endless orgy. holly is the gym mom to alot of the JW fighters

>>77311483
they're just friends, but she's married so you won't even get a bite, sorry bud

I have to admit, Bisping was on point regarding Weidman yesterday. How can Wediman recover from that?

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>>77311316

for sure my guy Barto Speg doesn't have CTE, how would you explain his razor sharp comedic wit and knowledge of the angles

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>>77311506
>holly is the gym mom

I need to start going to better gyms. None of the ones I've been to had an official gym milf.

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Who should this thot fight next?

>>77309047

Why are you so triggered by Australian superiority my friend. It's pathetic.

Our borders are always open to you so long as you stay humble (and you're white/a Chinese millionaire).

>>77311711
grasso

pure very sweaty match-up

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>>77311762

>battle of the beady-eyed spiccos

I like it.

Woodley vs Wonderboy 2 was one of the worst fights in recent memory.

>>77311762
Aldana's the one in WBW

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>214 is literally this weekend

>>77311776
WFLW

>>77311780
dam this pic is p scary

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> I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Is Christ new slang for coke ?

>>77310975
Maia is the GOAT

>>77311817
>JohnaTHON
This is almost as stupid as Johny Hendricks' first name literally being Johny

>>77310139
Aaaaaah muh dick
muh dick muh dick muh dick for da love of dawg why isn't he looking.

>>77310975
>grind and submit people
>meme
geez, fatso...

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>last fight was close decision with judges known to be biased and helping JBJ

DC
>best form of his career
>confident
>playing mind games
>amazing ground game
>dominated Gustafsson

JBJ
>probably worst form of his career
>mentally destroyed
>rusty as fuck, haven't fought in a year
>his biggest weapon taken away from him (distance keeping by eyepokes)
>still partying
>terrible ground game
>got dominated and lost to Gustafsson


Really bejangles my bandongles...

>>77311898

Agreed with most of it but Bones' ground game is legit as fuck, it's what won him the first fight with DC.

But Gustafson def beat Jones, I hated that time period where champs just couldn't lose decisions.

What do Cormier and Cain have in common?

They are both fat. That's literally the only reason they don't have the belt. You can't compete in a weight class where other athletes utilise every pound by being highly muscular.

They also have the same coach which is hearthbreaking. The guy is worse than Ronda's coach, he's telling his fighters to eat tacos and not worry about proper nutrition.

Shame. Bones will win no doubt.

Does anyone else miss Werdum as the champ?

He was funny and memed a bit in fights

>>77312019
Well, we don't really know about his ground game, but from training videos, it's not much. But yeah, I originally didn't want to write "terrible".

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>>77312054

I love Werdum, he is my favourite hue

>>77312061
>dat pick

Top Kek, still glad he lost to overeem. Stay away from my boy Stipe.

Did you all see Maia's house in the latest embedded? He's living like an Apple CEO

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>>77312055

>>77312094
they were both out of shape as fuck.

dc and jones comedy movie kino when

>>77312061
He's one of the few good Hues but is way behind JDS

>>77312089
Link? I watched it didn't see anything.

>>77312106
Jones is actually the MMA fighter most worthy of a biography movie, that story has everything, rise and fall, personal demons, court drama, rivalry with nemesis and possibly a redemption

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F4m7dBxVKU

can def tell jones wants to dick this lady

>>77312054
Yeah I quite like Werdum and would have enjoyed him getting a few defences
His demolition of Cain was fantastic

>>77312089
he grew up pretty well off

>>77309217
Fuck, I never thought an atheist would be able to defend against me, say, gouging his eyes or spitting in his face or shooting him from ten paces, but I guess he'll just BJJ me to death.

>>77312121
Who would play Jon Jones?

Has Cain been USADA'd? Thinking about it now, it makes sense considering how diabolically shit he looked against Werdum.

>>77312131
Dhalsim Jones is gonna fry DC to a crisp with yoga inferno

>>77312145
itd be michael jordan, he must suck the most dicks in hollywood atm

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>>77312145

Denzel Washington

>>77312145
Will Smith is... Jonny "Bones" Jones

>>77312131
>I'd fight Brock Lesnar in a heartbeat

What is Jon Jones saying. Every time moving up comes up, he mentions not wanting to fight the bigger Heavyweights because he'd be undersized. Brock is literally the definition of the bigger Heavyweights. As good as Jones is, I'm not sure he can get past Bork

Guys someone tell me where the women's flyweight division is? How did they add strawweight after bantamweight but skipped flyweight which is in between the twi?

>>77312149
Wasn't that fight just before USADA?
Even if not it was at elevation. He didn't really look any worse than what he is except the fact he got tired.

>>77312131
Unironically I can too

Friendly heeminder there is a 214 press conference today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4M9bAZatWE

>>77312168
It was the first card with USADA implemented

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>>77312145
We know who would play DC

>>77312164

I think you'd be surprised. I think he'd fuck him up

>>77312174

Good, I was thinking the other day how retarded they must be for not putting on a presser for this.

>>77312164
Jones would fuck Brock up big time.

What's your record on UFC 2, lads?
Mine's 911 - 466