/cric/

>3 posts 1 ip
nice community lads

Based Zimbabwe lead.

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who here /freedom of money/ ?

did straffo kill himself yet?

About to go to bed lads

>>77151543
Tell me abut Botham why do they call him beefy

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who else here /masterrace/ ?

what is chandimal doing

literally just bowl herath non-stop

none of this no slip medium pacer nonsense

what is england cricket's endgame?

>>77152759
check his twitter mate

>>77153049
Herath left the field m8. Hurt his knees while trying to stop a ball.

>>77152101
what bookie betcunt
I eagerly await your BBL tips for next season

just tuning in to the cricket

>>77153118
Not a bookie at all, it's Betfair.

Why gamble with a bookie when you can wager on the free market?

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hoc rules cric sucks

This is some absolute trash batting from zim right now, they're just ramping literally everything

Hope it works

love sikander raza

>>77153264
hey Daniel
Glad to see you're keeping the spirit of winter /cric/ alive

>>77153388
Hey statsy

how's the wife

>>77153440
women are degenerate creatures of satan

>>77153469
did she leave you?

you wanna talk about it?

I can't be arsed pretending to be statscunt sorry Daniel
He barely posts anyways

shall be watching the cricket, as well as the wimbledon final as well as the EVO tekken finals with a keen eye today

your tv licence is going to be sky high this month

zim need 100 more

>>77152135
nah he's still as self rightious as always

shall be raiding the Tomb of Sargeras tonight

I'll be aiming for level 64 on MapleLegends today chaps

Over 37 Ball 6 - Lakmal to Sikandar Raza, no run

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>>77151543
Jesus Christ, I just Googled it and saw his wrinkly old man balls. Why did I do that?
>tfw i have a bigger dick than beefy

>>77153676
what i dont get is why it's all multicoloured, also it's small and he looks circumcised. asolute horror show of a cock iih

not sure it is circumcised actually, still bad tho

have we determined what she was thinking yet lads

>>77153685
It's not that small, angles m8.

>>77153709
nah definitely isn't big
that's the angle you use to make it bigger

t. omegle expert

>>77153722
It's definitely over average, at least 5.5".

http://cdn2.crichd.info/sky-sports-2-live-streaming

sa vs eng link

>>77153726
the average is 5.5" sorry mate

>>77153729
Theft isn't permissible on /cric/ you hoodlum

>>77153729
thanks mate

>>77153733
Nah, it's probably closer to 5" based on recent studies. A few recent studies put it at about 5.2", and they also exclude people with various conditions like micropenis, so if anything the average might actually be under 5".

>>77153733
average penis size is actually 6.5 inches

>>77153750
studies in the republic of china

>>77153750
t.dicklet

>>77153762
embarrassing admission

>>77153752
Incorrect
>>77153754
Dick size has the almost the same average across races. The big black dick/average white dick/small asian dick thing is a complete myth. The studies prove this.
>>77153757
I am absolutely anything but a dicklet.

>>77153769
You are absolutely fucking clueless and I'm guessing you're probably lying as well.

>>77153771
take a guess retard

>>77153768
>Incorrect
'no'

>>77153771
Are you disabled mate obviously erect

basically it's what you do with it that matters

>>77153771
Erect, but most people give themselves an inch or two, maybe more, when talking on the internet. The average based on multiple recent studies is slightly over 5". at 6" you're longer than 85" of men, at 7" you're longer than 99" of men.

>>77153778
>>77153782
I was just a bit worried because I'm an obvious grower

>>77153788
me too, my penis can quadruple on a cold day

>>77153787
mine is 7 inches bone pressed but i dont do that meme

>>77153768
nah you see I've watched a lot of porn in my time and asians definitely have tiny dicks

>>77153787
That was supposed to be 85% and 99% of course, not "
>>77153785
Kind of, but not really. Length isn't the most important thing, as long as you're long enough to get in you're good, if you can hit the wall that might be a bonus depending on the girl. The girth is what really matters. If you're thick you will give untold pleasure when fucking most women.

>>77153793
Your dick grows in the cold?

What's the little flag on the saffers kit mean? And why are they known as the proteas?

>>77153798
Nah, they just don't insist on having a long dick to do porn there.

>>77153804
it's smaller when flaccid and the weather is cold are you actually stupid?
there's an entire seinfeld episode dedicated to that fact

>>77153769
Bet you put it to good use in Colombia hey zachy

>>77153816
Daniel

>>77153812
was being cheeky

>>77153776
>zakky b is clueless
not news desu

>>77153827
you're shit at it danny

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>>77153805
protea is our national flower

>>77153833
Have you seen his bulge
Danny's packing

Tell me about Zachy why do they call him balding amirfag/cancerlad

>>77153832
He's perpetuating all these dumb myths about dick size and I don't know why he'd do that because he's probably got a small dick.

>>77153848
hasn't left my mind since I first saw it

>>77153853
he's balding, has reckons he has cancer and loves amir
simple stuff

basically if youre under 5 inches it's laughably small, hello >>77153832, if you're under 6 it's noticeably small, 6-7 just another dick, forgettable, 7.5+ is where it gets 'big' for a modern, confident young woman


>>77153816
yeah one of the girls is the only girl who has ever called my dick big and she was basically a midget

reckon I'm the best at the ol lickeroo in /cric/

>>77153876
You're actually wrong and blatantly lying. You're talking in girl inches, not actual inches. Take an inch or two off, it's more like under 4" it's noticeably small, 4-6" just another dick, 6" is where it starts to get big.

Just when I thought /cric/ couldn't get any more homosexual.

>>77153917
girl inch or an actual inch is the same. its still an inch. not like im expecting them to have a ruler handy, im just talking about the impression it makes. a girl knows a big dick when she sees one

'4-6" just another dick, 6" is where it starts to get big.'

arpit, please

Reckon personality is what counts

Sorry to talk about cricket and not feed the tripfags, but does anyone think Jimmy "homebabby" Anderson will play in the Ashes?

I mean he hasn't got a great record down under - could stick with Borad, Wood, Stokes and either Woakes or some double-barrelled-name posho.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25487360
tl;dr, average length is 5.16", and that does not include people with conditions such as micropenis Stop being conscious of your dick size, lads, ignore idiot cunts like this >>77153876, you're probably normal, and that's fine.

>>77153948
already made this post

>>77153950
reckon he'll refuse to preserve his record

>>77153941
I am almost 100% sure my dick is bigger than yours in every way, your attempts to put me down have no effect. I'm calling you out for spreading bullshit, that is all.

>>77153917
Don't mind zachy lad, he's not all there mentally but that's what makes him great desu.

>>77153970
fucks sake

http://www.zimcricketforums.com/
favourite forum

>>77153956
wheres the study location? young, white man average is 7.4 inches

>>77153984
He's a bit of a fucking mug, isn't he?

>>77153979
you are very easy to troll, autist

>>77153984
tipping his life to collapse around him and him to end up in the locked ward in three years min

>>77153987
yeah surprised how many dedicated followers zim cricket has

>>77154020
quite rude

>>77154003
I don't care if you think you're trolling, I'm putting facts in the way of your disinfo.

>>77154001
you are the mug dicklet, you are literally obsessed with dicks. fuck off

Why the fuck are we talking about dicks and not cricket? Get it together lads fucking hell.

>>77154054
tripfaggots, dickpics
welcome to patheti/cric/

>>77154048
Don't be too mad about having a small dick and lying on the internet., bro.

>>77154054
Dicks and cricket go together like pavement and depression

>>77154072
i'm not lying, i have an average dick of around 7 inches. no more dick talk now

>>77154091
You're a filthy tripfag, you're obviously lying.

Love Elgar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpoMzsDL7z4

>>77154107
it's only a temporary trip, will keep it for a day or two

>>77154117
don't click on links from trips I don't consider friends

>>77154114
Glad to see him doing well man, never really seen him hang around, although this is the first series I've gotten back into SA cricket in awhile.

>>77154117
good band

>>77154133
Picked a poor time if I'm honest, SA were winning everything two years back

>>77154137
Didn't peg you as a pavement man

>>77154128

Which trips do you consider a friend so that I know which links to click on.

Thanks in advance.

>>77154172
Reality Check
Zerogoose
NEWSMAN

>>77154145
Aye thats when I stopped to be honest, we were winning everything, got abit dull with de villiers and amla smacking everyone around. When I had seen a pretty new line up compared to two years ago with the fact that they aint as good makes for a good watch, great watching them climb back to the top, they usually do.

>>77154171
fav band

Did the crowd just applaud Elgar for facing 100 balls?

>>77154185
muh aussie circlejerk. reality check knows shit all about cricket

>>77154224
he knows a lot about life

>>77154107
he is probably an indian that added up his and his dads cock length to arrive at the 7,5 inch total

>>77154172
all trips are cancer.
filter them all for the good of us all

love these two

love wickets
hate leg byes

>>77154205
do you like Bush?

>>77154231
what is human life but a game of cricket?

great effort here lads

>>77154439
no, do you?

>>77154455
ADORE international cricket 2005

>>77154478
absolutely elite game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmlyePmLIVE

250-300 runs is the 2nd most dangerous lead

still tipping an england victory

malcolm waller looks like he was created in hitler's modern laboratory deep under the ice of ganymede

Loving the batting from these two man, don't get alot better than an inform Amla.

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>>77154763

>>77154805
his face looks like it was squished or elongated in photoshop desu

>>77154839
indeed not a perfect face but he looks incredibly Aryan and strong

RIP Elgar

>>77153950
I'd actually take Finn over Wood. He's pretty inconsistent playing in the rest of the world, but Australian pitches suit him perfectly.

>>77154933
tom curran should be playing iih

>>77154933
Wood would do shit here Tbh

nick browne, joe clarke, tom curran in, jennings,, balance, wood out

and woakes for dawson obviously

>>77154933
Bring back big Bresnan

'orite 'ment 'bum lads?

>>77154477
n-no

pleased to say zim have it in the bag
lostralia on suicide watch

>>77155115
Not healthy my boy

>>77155095
Lmao

so is samit patel still on recall watch ot not

remember that auscum who put mitchell marsh in his world XI

bellowing

>de Kock

what happened?

remember when zachy b posted in tennis threads circa 2012?

>>77155933
nah /cric/ was the first place i ever posted on /sp/

>>77156043
http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/22585398/#22588958

Love when teams celebrate wickets when the game is already lost

>>77153768
>Dick size has the almost the same average across races.
this is unironically complete bullshit, this twat has no idea what he's talking about

Right lads, going to give a quick overview of each commentator's view upon Islam, these are not facts so feel free to disagree:

Shane Warner - does like a curry, but thinks that the "smelly boat people" need to fuck off as Australia is full. Refuses to buy halal.

Ian Botham - Clearly hate Muslims, probably a member of the EDL and BNP. Loves a bacon sandwich and has no problem rubbing it is Nasser's face. Thinks Brexit will send all Muslims home - not worried about the consequences to the England cricket team.

Nasser Hussain - Card-carrying ISIS supporter. Desperate for Sharia Law to come to the UK. Hate's Beefy for eating frazzles and bacon sarnies during ramadam.

Michael Atherton - Probably against Brexit, seems like a middle-class "diversity improves UK" type. Actually likes Nasser and would welcome more refugees.

Geoffrey Boycott - Boycott by name and nature - refuses to buy Cadbury's as they have halal certification. Also won't shake Moeen or Rashid's hand. Only eats Yorkshire puddings and gravy.

Bumble - Has a son with a refugee boyfriend, but secretly hates them. Has been dropping pork into Nassers coffee for years.

Michael Holding - Really chill about the demise of Europe and the West in general. Just glad to get paid to chat shit. Never tried a kebab.

Shaun Pollock - Thinks Islam is a place in Africa. Clueless.

Ricky Ponting - Runs nightime raids into Syria to tackle ISIS in hand-to-hand combat. Fucking detests the "smelly ragheads".

If there's anyone I missed let me know. Mainly negative views as I think cricketers are generally conservative.

>>77156076
holy shit haha, i literally do not remember

>>77156127
>Shane Warner - does like a curry
shan't be reading any further
http://static.espncricinfo.com/db/ARCHIVE/1997-98/AUS_IN_IND/ARTICLES/WARNES_BEANS_06MAR1998.html

>>77156164

Brilliant, I stand corrected. Fucking based Warney.

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What is she thinking...

love refugees
hate economic migrants

>>77156131
elite

why do the english give their houses names

took the train all the way on the overground through south london the other day like bromley,, victoria through to clapham sorry but its grim and immigration was a mistake

>>77156440
>immigration was a mistake

Finally a coherant point from the cocklet.

>>77156522
who wrongly spells coherent like that lmao

>>77156323
Where did this "love x hate y" meme come from

fixed my "world of warcraft is crashing" problem lads

>>77156614
have you ever tried not being a cunt?

>>77156639
/brit/

>>77156686
have you ever tried not being subhuman

A terrific effort from Sikandar Raza, Malcolm Waller, Peter Moor and Rangana Herath. After a see-saw day, Zimbabwe stretch their lead to 262 with four wickets in hand. This after they were reduced to 23 for 4. Sri Lanka's spinners, by some proactive batting and maybe a lack of bite in the pitch, lost their penetration as the day progressed and the ball got softer. It's a substantial lead already, and Zimbabwe will be looking to take that over 300 tomorrow morning. Sri Lanka will need to start strongly. I reckon this game is bang-on par. We'll be back bright and early tomorrow.

>>77156744
Do they play tests in Zimbabwe or is it a Pakistan situation where they dont

>>77156905
they do play tests they are
zimbabwe pitchers are slow seamers

>>77156905
yeah they hosted New Zealand and I think India last year

>>77156929
>pitchers

How dumb are you? ROFL

there

>>77156975
thats a typo tho

lmao some idiot on cricinfo wants morgan and hales in the test side

>>77157053
lol

>>77157094

KP should still be in the side.

>>77157136
true

entering a raid

fuck i know so much about cricket

i can't think of a single thing i don't know

>>77157181
good luck

>>77157444
just died ama

>>77157486
what went wrong

>>77157553
took too much damage

>>77157591
ah

>>77157136
what are german pitches like? want to know what the world is on for when the EU is a top 4 side

not brisk, fairly flat and slow , but break up later on i reckon.

Saffers should be able to get over 180

just tuning in to the tennis

Amla is so fucking good

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>Amla is so fucking good

>>77158281
Yeah

cant think of a cricketer more reddit than amla

>>77158382
Kane

>>77158853
good shout tbf

Firdose Moonda has a decent rack I reckon

>>77158941
does she have unparalleled female cricketing knowledge?

>>77159045
strikes me as a bit of a casual

I reckon South Africa can get to 200

england will chase anything

cilic is playing shit, get it together nigga

Cricket in Croatia.

oh for fuck sake

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Hi, I'm new to cricket. Can someone explain to me what the fuck Swann is implying by saying that this England squad can chase down 450 runs?

making fried chicken and chips for dinner ama

>>77159684
>wogs
>cricket

"no"

>>77160172
You make the chicken and chips yourself?

>ywn experience slumlord's cooking

>>77160170
eh
350 is pushing it

>>77160170
truthbomb

>>77160268
yip
marinate chicken in butter milk
onion powder chilli powder garlick powder black pepper and smoked paprika to spice chicken after marination
dredge in flour twice then deep fry at medium high for 12 minutes

peel potatoes, cut in wedges, boil for 5 minutes, dry em off, put wedges in cold oil and put the stove plate on high, take em out after 10 minutes or so

>>77160440
you should wash the potatoes before and after boiling them

I reckon there's a market for cricket in China

>>77160652
china cricket is a meme, will never happen. arab peninsula, iran and europe is the future

>>77160652
nah chinks hate sport

>>77160793
Gulf, yes. But Iran?

Who's predicting a Zimbabwe victory?

>>77160832
only being quasi-serious but thhere is 2.5 million afghans in iran

>>77160879
me

greatly looking forward to it

Barry Hearn is the hero cricket desperately needs

M*n BTFO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kctSyPaE_uw

http://www.espncricinfo.com/blogs/content/story/1109897.html

soon

UAE and the EU will contest a world cup final before 2050

collapse

DC Cricket 17 worth a purchase?

>>77161062
Can you imagine how disappointing it would be to be told you're gonna meet the Australian squad after you answer these questions and then you are shown two women and neither are Ellyse

>>77160907
I have always believed that this diaspora thing is never going to influence non cricketing nations. What works better is the dominant culture effect. Like how Bhutan picked up cricket because their culturally influenced by India and Ireland did as they are by England. What we need is that a culturally strong western country should make cricket their number one sport and markets it to a curious culturally similar audience.

>>77161136
semifinalists - Papua New Guinea and Jersey

>>77161199
doesn't play nearly as well stick with the old one

Tipping a record run chase

>>77161235
yeah its good desis like cricket i guess as they move around a lot

>>77161235
>I have always believed that this diaspora thing is never going to influence non cricketing nations
It did in Afghanistan and that's also how soccer and rugby spread across Europe. You are right that it doesn't really have much effect with cricket though. I don't think anyone in somewhere like America is going to start following cricket when their clubs are filled with indians and guys from the caribbean
>What we need is that a culturally strong western country should make cricket their number one sport and markets it to a curious culturally similar audience.
literally Australia and PNG. Their three top sports are Australian rules football, rugby league and cricket, which are our three top sports.

>>77161235
>>77161331
misread your post, it's maybe just wishful thinking i guess

>>77161398
anyone who goes to america tends to become american tho, so its kind of different, arabia has no identity so they all stay desi

>>77161398
There aren't any non Afghans in the national team. They picked it up from pakis when they sought refuge over there.

>>77161481
Problem for cricket in America is that we already have a long bat and ball sport that's losing spectators.

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When's he coming back

>>77161561
agree

it's like trying to market australian rules to america, they've already got gridiron so why the fuck would they bother with another sport like it

need to go to untapped markets like indonesia and malaysia if I'm honest

>>77161574
end of july

>>77161627
Tbh, Rugby Union has a pretty large cult following despite gridiron. It's also getting bigger on high school and college campuses, partly because it is much safer and partly because it is more fun.

>>77161630
reckon he might be a bit past it tho as his style of bowling relies on youthful springiness so much. hes not like a mcgrath who can just stick it on a length at age 35. literally the most effective fast bowler of all time, marshall only one who comes close i guess

marshall might be better iih, idk, before my time

well that tennis was a letdown, JDCR will probably walk the tekken later and today would have been a thorough waste of time if im honest

FedGOAT

pirate video games should come back

>>77160440
Christ man sounds the bomb. I was expecting some half assed oven baked shit or something
Ggwp

>>77160809
>what are the Olympics

>>77162605
not sports

>>77162634
this

>>77162634
> 2. a modern international sports competition, held once every four years.
>sports

>>77162767
they should fix that

>>77160170
west indies once chased 400 against the aussie golden gen, but those are one-offs, no way england even get close to 300

>>77161561
and apparently the baseball top brass have their crony as the head of cricket in america and they get him to sabotage it every chance he can get

>>77162767
hardly any of what you see constitutes an actual sport, its just like niche performance arts and glorified time trials, literally no one gives a fuck about any of the ''''sports''''' shown at the olympics unless the olympics is actually on

>>77162605
All their gold medals come from 2 non-sports and a sport notorious for doping

been eating two small meals per day amounting to 3000 kj in total for two weeks ama

>>77163155
favourite sex position?

>>77163201
cowgirl

>>77163155
I'll bite lad what meals

>>77163211
bit beta, i like the one where you just sort of lie there side by side, it's basically doggy but less effort as you can just sort of lie down and mong out

>>77163248
I have a banana, some almonds and coffee for breakfast
dinner is soup and a bit of raw carrot

going to bed
really wanted bavuma to succeed today but whatever

>>77163290
Nah way is that 3000kcal

>>77163505
he said kj you mong
come fight me in essex

How big is cricket in Australia? For instance, would most groups of friends hanging out on a Friday night talk about a cricket game? Do bars and road-side diners typically have a cricket game on their TV sets?

>>77163769
bigger than it is here thats for sure. only really meant a handful of people into cricket in my whole life

met*

i without a doubt know more about cricket than anyone else in chelmsford, probably in essex too. reckon i am top half a dozen in the whole of the uk and honestly probably amongst the top 30 or so in the whole world

>>77163769
during summer or a winter tour of india or england, yes to both

it's not as big as aussie rules and rugby league in their respective states, but it's by far the second biggest sport in all of them which makes it the largest sport in the country

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>>77163955
What's the largest second innings chase in tests?

>>77163997
400 odd by the west indies versus australia in 2003

of all the test nations, ireland is probably the only one where cricket isn't part of the national consciousness

>>77163997
409 i think

just woke up

my favourite Zachy B post was in 2012 when he took a picture of himself doing the ISHYGDDT face

>>77164016
So the saffers could break the record today?

>>77164069
yeah 409 is the number

my dream is to one day meet someone who knows more about cricket than me

>>77164164
ama

>>77161926
you forget this guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoI_Sre7zDk

feel like pure shit just want stuart clark back

>>77164213
hazlewood is like for like

>>77164259
not when it matters (during the ashes)

>>77164277
you mean like last time you toured england? he was alright, was his first tour. i rate him highly, much better than mitchell fart

>>77164312
he was fucking garbage
definitely an elite player but not during that series
his first tour was to the caribbean too where he was elite

Guys what's declaration bowling

>>77164377
he took a few wickets. but yeah he looked really good in NZ as well, he has has this effortless pace thing going on, enjoy watching him bowl, reckon he will take a bunch of wickets

My prediction of 450 is looking really good now

>>77164413
doesnt really apply to 5 day games as much but does definitely apply to 4 day games, its just where you chuck shit down and try make the other team declare

>>77164461
nah yeah I think he's elite too

>>77164105
south africa aren't chasing, so no

>>77164413
pie chucking to let the opposition score quickly rush a declaration, which gives you more time to chase
test cricket really is such a fucking great sport

>>77164377
>>77164506
Were you that bloke that kept on insisting he get dropped during the Ashes?

if bairstow's hand is fucked I'd be declaring very soon Tbh

>332
>Previous highest target successfully chased by England, at MCG in 1928

anything under 500 is easy pickings

>>77164549
busted

>>77164535
Sure a's heck is
Dumb question ik but why would a team declare what do they get out of it

>>77164667
enough time to bowl out the other team

>>77164667
to win the match. obv i u bat 4ever ur not gonna win, have 2 bowl other team out

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Good morning ( ^ω^)

>>77164697
deano'd

>>77164713
Looks a bit like our precious Meme Shit

>>77164697
that phil hughes though

How many wickets will England lose before end of play today?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR9aRK2HdNc

>>77164802
2-3

Surely the declaration must be soon

>>77164890
Can they declare at any time?

>>77164907
Yep even if they're behind

>>77164907
yes

based attacking micheal clarke declares at the toss

>>77164685
>>77164684
What happens if they don't by the end of 5 days and the other team haven't reached the target

>>77164951
Draw

>>77164949
Kek wouldn't have been surprised if he did

I rated him highly as a captain but he could take le aggression too far sometimes

>>77164980
Bur surely they should win as they have more runs no?

Reckon Faf'll call them in after the next wicket

>>77165003
No because the other part of the game is to take wickets. You have to be able to do both to win a game.
It's impossible to win without the opposition having played out two innings

>>77165046
Fair enough, makes sense.
Cheers

english cricket is futile

previously ranked faf as the best test captain in the world (morgan being best overall) but this really is some questionable decision making

455 is as safe as it gets

shall be falling asleep soon

>>77165213
hes fucking scared, fears the english warrior

>>77165268
Goodnight sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite :DDD

Fug almost

We'll knock those 474 runs out by this time tomorrow desu

england are literally going to win comfortably

Cock has lost it

Playing for a draw apparently, I guess they can't be arsed to run.

Tell me about zachy, why does he shitpost so hard

>>77165583
theres over 2 days left how can they be playing for a draw

>>77165621
By dragging it out via blockathon

tell me about Sam, why is he a seething casual with a modest cock

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>>77165621
It's in England

>>77160308
Is he the guy who makes money off property and sits on his ass all day

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Why did they not just send out 2 nightwatchmen?

>>77165756
Because they would have got skittled

Tipping England for 65 all out