Eymet > Pau 203,5km The last sprint stage before going into

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Happenings of the last stage: chateau galore and absolutely nothing in peloton.
Marcel Kittel predictably won in dominating fashion.
Overall standings after Stage 10 in pic related.

>>77074586
Eh, I fucked up with thread name. Sorry, fellow anons.
Anyway, let's do another /comfy/ thread out of this snooze fest.

>>77074586
Shit OP desu. But with a little luck it'll keep the casuals out.

Coverage starts at 13:00.

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>Pau again
>sprint stage again

anyway, can't believe how much this bingo has aged in 4 years

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>another snoozefest

alps when

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That stage profile is flatter than your girlfriends's tits

That stage profile is more flat than Brazil after 7-1

Why do the french crawl around on shop floors? They are looking for low prices

What does this stage and Richie Porte have in common? Both are broken

What do you call a french rider wearing the yellow jersey? Nobody knows, no one has ever seen one

How do you feel about Bouhanni being fined 100 Swiss Francs and getting 1 minute added to his total GC time for hitting Jack Bauer in the leadup to the sprint?

>>77074879
>implying anyone of us has a girlfriend

boring stage again
hope it gets windy near pau for some sexy bordering action
... even though this won't happen.

>>77074798
2 Pyrénées stages next, friend

>>77074879
what color is the jersey of the leader of the Tour of Norway ?

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>>77074879
>tfw no flat tits gf

>>77074879
fun (?) fact : only one norvegian rider has ever worn the yellow jersey and it was thor hushovd, for the last time in 2011.

Voeckler and Gallopin have worn it since then.

If any non-Quickstep team works at the front today I'm going to go fucking nuts.

>>77074895
1 minute is nothing for a sprinter.

>>77777777

incoming get lads, ought to happen in /tdf/

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>flat stage

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>>77075077
*leads kittel to victory*

>>77074895
1 minute is useless for a sprinter. Also 100 FS is almost nothing for a rider who gets 1 million euros as annual income.

>>77074895
i think he's learned a valuable lesson

>>77075232
Fines are on the team anyway.

Good morning.
What did I miss so far?

Okay so we know that Fuglsang, Froome, Kittel and some others are in good form this year, but lets list all the riders that suck balls real hard. I'll start:
>Greipel
>Quintana
>Pinot
>Contador
>FDJ in general
>Chaves
>Kreuziger
>Rolland
>Tallansky

>>77075354
>pinot

>>77074895
1 minute? Jack Bauer has 24 hours.

>>77074895
Daily reminder that bouhanni missed last years tdf because he fractured a metacarpal while punching his drunk neighbour who was having a party.

>>77075354
Chavez has emotional problem. His close friend died in car crash just as Tour started. Team manager says poor fella cry himself to sleep every night.

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How high will Kittel go?

>>77075432
At least 20 wins, I think.

>>77075354
some of them (Chaves - injury, Pinot, Rolland = Giro) we expected to be not so good.

Meintjes has been disappointing for me.

>>77074895
I wish he was DQed. Everybody hates that asshole. Always losing and saying it's because of someone else, always fighting with someone, well his name says it all.

>>77075415
Isn't he a former boxer? I thought he should be able to hit people without much trauma for himself.

>>77075535
no, a boxer wannabe desu

>>77074895

I wanted to see him and Demare get into some fisticuffs, seems funny to me that they are still ignoring the fact that Demare himself should have been penalized.

Guess it doesn't matter now that he tanked half his team out of the race.

Can anybody give me some greentext of anglos shitposting /tdf/?
It's for work.
Thank you.

attack attack attack EVERYONE

this is going to be a surprisingly good stage.

>>77075701
<3

hello

le Tour goes through my region today

>>77075766
through your vagina?

>>77075354
Rolland
Cummings

>>77075775
oh, you ;)

>>77075775
i'm so sorry

That's it everyone. Bend over for Marcel.

>>77075801
Not the way you should talk to a lady my dear.

It's a 3 man break episode again

Can they not

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>Lotto already riding for Kittel

I just saw a docu about Argos-Shimano when Kittel was riding there. Itt was gud. This sport is so fucked up.

>>77075834

sounds exciting, they might not get caught until 5k to go

>>77075850
and people wonder why cycling is not interesting

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>Just kill me now

Based Chris Anker

"it looks like the only chances the other teams have of winning would be Kittel crashing"

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C O M F Y
O
M
F
Y

>>77075341
Morning, nothing

>>77075881
Its also nice that he just says it straight: There is little to no chance of side wind being a factor

I am genuinely quite angry.

>>77075913
Yeah, fuck Thomas Kristensens hype

Riis is also very good at killing Thomas Kristensen, when he asks dumb questions, or try to hype stuff just for the sake of it.

Oh my GOD another stage with no wind (possibility of tiny gusts that will have no effect) where the commentators are discussing every single chateux and ravine the helicopter can find. Cue the images of bovines and horses running and cut to the peloton doing nothing.

Meanwhile a three man breakaway forced by their arab sponsors pretend that they have a chance to win the stage. However due to a lack of interesting characters nobody cares, RIP Jens Voigt.

In homes all over Europe, people are turning on their screens to see their first images from the Tour. And this is what they are presented with, would you bother watching unless you knew the true potential of cycling? This boring, uneventful, sponsorgrabbing tourist shit is damaging to the sport

CHUTE D'ARNAUD DEMARE

>>77075932
why? is your gf pregnant and you are not the father?

on the other end it would be quite comfy to watch cycling with your wifes son

>Vermote

>>77075942
>This boring, uneventful, sponsorgrabbing tourist shit is damaging to the sport
it keeps it reserved to a small elite, perfect

>>77075942
It's moving wallpaper. And i like it. I can clean up my house while watching some comfy pictures of France. It's not a horse race. Deal with it.

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Feel free to add.

Bardet said he's going to attack before the mountains stages

>>77076033
Replace Australia with America

>>77076051
But some americans are ok.
It's the ones that show up with 50km to go that fuck things up

>>77076069
>some americans are ok
delet

jesus fucking christ.
honestly, can anyone explain why getting lars bak into the break would be a worse tactic than having him ride with quickstep for the next 150km?

>>77076069
>But some americans are ok.
Maybe. But I don't know any annoying Aussie

>>77076069
Thanks bb

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Bjarne Riis and Lars Seier Christensen(Big business dood from Denmark) are looking for investors to make a new Danish team. Hopefully ready in 2019 - World Tour

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>>77076051
>>77076091
I guess you're right.

>>77075965
What if it's a daughter?

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r8 my Continental Pro team

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Also, need more iconic moments for this.

>Seyches

imaginez être le maire de Seyches
:DDD

>>77076135
Way better

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>>77076158

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>>77076158

>>77076166
merdde :DDD

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Why does Kittel look so much like an SS'er?

>>77076158
You need to post the final pic on the last stage, I need to save the final edition

I have said it before, but god I hate Brian "the snake" Nygaard.

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>>77076158

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>>77074586
>using pedals

>>77075932
Because of >tfw no multihate gf?

>>77074586
Is your name really "/tdf/ Stage 11" ?

bouhanniloseslol

>le people turning an imaginary giant bicycle wheel meme

>le Lot-et-Garrone, le verger de la France

L'un des départements les plus pauvres aussi
Et bizarrement pas d'insécurité, je croyais que c'était dû à la pauvreté
:^))))))))))

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For a moment I bought into all the hype from the commentators yesterday that today would be all about breakaways.

nice fucking meme, no big break and not even wind or rain to make things interesting.

>>77076189
Gramps prolly was

polka dot jersey is such a meme
everyone knows vroome is the best climber but some literal who wins by getting in a break

should use timing chips on categorized climbs and the rider with the lowest total time wins

My dad met my mother near the cloister of this Church. Vive la France.

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deus vult

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tfw the break won't win

>>77076431
Which would make the yellow jersey and the Polka jersey basically the same

>>77076400
Aucun lien avec l'immigration.

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>>77076463

>>77076460
yes this Church

What would cycling be like if instead of being given same time for being in a group when crossing the line, your time was actually based on when you cross the line?

My Eurosport steam is just showing a self-promoting ad on loop.

how long until the mountain stages?

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>>77076486

flat stages would be similar to this

>>77076135
accurate

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>>77076534

>>77076547
tomorrow

>>77076486
Mountain stages would be extremely boring

>>77076554
Literally ISIS

>>77076587
finally. Getting real tired of sprints now that Sagan's out

>>77076584
The cat on the horse would be nice I think.

It's hard to replace all the letters with actual events and keep them recognizable ;_;

>>77075942
>comfy pictures of French countryside
>qt girls riding horses
>various France and bike related artworks that have take tons of manhours to build just for few seconds of exposure
>good commentators with plenty of interesting topics and banter
What's not to love? Don't just sit in front of your TV with nothing else to do and watch it. Instead treat the first few hours of flat stages as something like talk radio with the exception that you have video of French countryside coming with it.

ARRÊTEZ DE NOUS EMMERDER AVEC LE SPORT FÉMININ FRANCETV

Putain de gauchisme ambiant

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>>77076534

>>77076637
C'est encore pire avec le sport handicapé, super on est champion de foot en fauteuil roulant..

>>77076637
Fais gaffe t'as fais tomber ton brassard FAF.

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>>77076666
damn wrong version sry. here's with the updated

>>77076668
Carrément. Faudrait mettre les meilleures femmes le temps d'une étape de montagne qu'on rigole un peu. Elles auraient fini une heure après Demare.

>>77076431
Think of the polka like the green jersey for climbs. Sagan won the green jersey 5 years in a row and was never the fastest sprinter in the Tour. The polka isn't about being the best climber in the tour, it's about getting the most points.

Does this tour have the most boring stages?

There are so many sprints and we only have 1 og the big 5 classics(Galibier) Most mountain stages are pretty bad. Stage 9 should've been one of the last, it was placed too early.

Whats your thought?

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>woosh woosh woosh woosh

>>77076600
You're a big sprinter

So is this the tdf thread?

You guys really need to standardise this, something like /tdfg/

>les pubs qui ciblent les vieux sur France TV

>>77076687
We need a Richie crash

>>77076756
op is a dummy and put the topic in the name field

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>>77076756

>>77076756
It's not a general, it's a 21 stages race. Thread names are always /xx/ - the race name

>>77076679
Tu me rappelles des heures bien sombres

>>77076757
Imagine tous les débiles qui ont appelé pour perdre des kilos

Are there any black riders in the peloton this year?

What are the best tdf webms?

Stream link?

>>77076810

3 I think, ol tickles was there this year again at least.

>>77076810
yes
>inb4 racist from /pol/

>le Grand Duché d'Aquitaine

OUI

>>77076810
Yeah, a guy named Chris from. He's from Kanye and you know how dark niggas from that part of Africa get.

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>>77076847

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>>77076847

full kit wanker is in the running for best ever

>this Alpecin ad

>>77076810
Eduardo Sepúlveda

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>>77076847

>>77076863
>>inb4 racist from /pol/
:))))

>>77076863
You can be racist with lit being on /pol/, you know. To prefer people from your own race is something purely natural. And it's not like Africans bring good things in Europe, apart maybe from the terror attacks. Just saying.

it's a lotto-soudal rider sits on the front edition

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>>77076847

>>77076914
Spooked as fuck

>>77076901
I feel offended Denmark isn't part of this.

>>77076951
>Spooked
Which means?

>>77076847
Based Poels grabbing and throwing the sunglasses from some guy in the crowd.

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>>77076978

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>>77076991

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>>77076956
Here you go senpai

>>77077020
Feels good to be winning so relentlessly again.

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>>77076970
You need to take the Stirner pill

>>77076991
errytime

>>77076970
basically you think memes (like race) are real

Keep your best webms coming

>>77077050
Indeed it is real. Try to give your bone marrow to a nigger. Compare your IQs, too. No wonder why they bring trash everywhere and never invented the wheel.

>>77076852
ITV+Hola VPN set to GB
Ads suck but it's free

ITV4 master race reporting in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlh4Hc4JAY0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlh4Hc4JAY0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlh4Hc4JAY0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlh4Hc4JAY0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlh4Hc4JAY0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlh4Hc4JAY0

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>>77077107
go back to /pol/ racist
:^)

>>77077107
yfw you discover African civilisations were superior to Europeans before the Mongols brought prosperity to Europe in the 13th century

>>77077134
That song is legitimately awful

Anyone know where I can stream the ESPN coverage with commentary?
The motherfuckers here in Australia fired ma nigga Phil Liggett from our coverage and I miss the soothing dulcet tones of his voice while he informs me about chateuaxs and Froome's "unconventional cycling motion"

>>77077145
N'oublie pas que les nègres ont reconstruit la France :DDD

Commentators just said there are only 8 riders per team next year, why are they shortening the teams down from 9 to 8?

le tour de france :D

>>77077134
We have this tune since the 70's on the radio. They play it in the final of the stage everyday. It's kinda the sound of summer here.
https://youtu.be/z5c4Pf--55s

>>77077220
Hello redit

>>77077134
When is Phillipa Yorke starting >her commentary duties?

>>77077223
nice

>>77077218
because it will stop team sky from dominating

just imagine them without christian knees this year!!!!

>That shot of the long straight road through the forest

nice

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*blocks your path*

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>>77076847

>>77077223
>It's kinda the sound of summer here.
LOL gayyyyyyyy

>>77077243
>spot the motorcycle.webm

>>77077223
Pretty cool.

>>77077223
Kraftwerk is the goat

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>>77077134
>tfw cannot hear this without expecting to hear Phil Liggett talking about 'innocent until proven guilty' Lance Dancing on the Pedals (tm)

>>77077223
>insert yelling reporter

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what do you guys do to liven up dull stages?

I'm thinking of dropping some acid

lads remind me why people hate based Phil Liggett and Paul Schwerwin- sure they may be doddering and senile, but they're extremely comfy to listen to

gonna need a webm of that pure kino shot of the old lady zoomout lads

>that old lady
Wahey

>>77077273
Chatting with /tdf/

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>>77077218
Because each team is to be allowed one horse athlete for horse category climbs

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Did you guys read what a Spanish journalist wrote yesterday about Quick Step not allowing Stefan Küng to join the breakaway along with Offredo and Gesbert because "he'd make us work really hard leading the peloton"? Apparently they insulted him too because of that move.

>>77077238
I take it very often

also, time to be /comfy/

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>>77077310
>also, time to be /comfy/
better with the pic

>>77077298
fuck i wish this was true imagine the crashes

>>77077316
P O I N T L E S S

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>>77077317

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if a woman has alopecia ....does their pubes fall out?

>>77077317
>Obelix' house

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>>77077360

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>>77077360
kek

>>77077356
not if she uses alpecin

>>77077280
in large part for their fawning over lance armstrong. Liggett even went so far as to say the doping accusations were a government conspiracy against Armstrong.

this interview for instance:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FrJTmB2QJg

>>77074879
has anything happened?

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Liggett also said he'd retire if Lance (tm) was found to have doped, because Lance dindu nuffin.
But Liggett did not retire.

>Pee break

Looks like a comfy place for it.

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>tfw voeckler is the only one still riding from the goat tour

>>77075493
this

>>77074879
german humour right here

>fight for your hair
>not only for you
>also for your wife
w-what about husband?

>>77077426
Chanavel, Zubeldia?
Probably a lot of other guys

Why do cyclists wear those little caps when they aren't wearing a helmet? And is it acceptable for me to wear one even though I don't own a bike?

>>77077426
I like Evans. I saw Big Evans' Great Awsome Oceans Race and he was commentating and he still stammers a little bit.

>>77077476
I have never been more happy than when he CRUSHED the Schleck fuckers on that TT.

>>77077466
i meant from the people who were in contention for the podium
Contador also was in that tour, but he was never competing for top 3

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>>77077468
1. (a) It stops the sun blinding you and strobing you to fuck through trees.
(b) keeps rain off and makes hair aero
2. no

Phinney is high again.

>>77077468
I remember cycling without the helmets and with the caps. Fuck i'm old.

>>77077501
Of course he was competing, it's Contador. He just couldn't that year, as he was tired from the Giro

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Zubeldia was 5th 14 years ago

>>77077557
Euskaltel would have been my favorite team back then, were it not for based Riis and CSC

>>77077570
I miss Euskatel.

>>77077468

Rule #
22
//
Cycling caps are for cycling.

Cycling caps can be worn under helmets, but never when not riding, no matter how hip you think you look. This will render one a douche, and should result in public berating or beating. The only time it is acceptable to wear a cycling cap is while directly engaged in cycling activities and while clad in cycling kit. This includes activities taking place prior to and immediately after the ride such as machine tuning and tire pumping. Also included are cafe appearances for pre-ride espressi and post-ride pub appearances for body-refueling ales (provided said pub has sunny, outdoor patio – do not stray inside a pub wearing kit or risk being ceremoniously beaten by leather-clad biker chicks). Under these conditions, having your cap skull-side tipped jauntily at a rakish angle is, one might say, de rigueur. All good things must be taken in measure, however, and as such it is critical that we let sanity and good taste prevail: as long as the first sip of the relevant caffeine or hop-based beverage is taken whilst beads of sweat, snow, or rain are still evident on one’s brow then it is legitimate for the cap to be worn. However, once all that remains in the cranial furrows is salt, it is then time to shower, throw on some suitable aprés-ride attire (a woollen Molteni Arcore training top circa ’73 comes to mind) and return to the bar, folded copy of pastel-coloured news publication in hand, ready for formal fluid replacement. It is also helpful if you are a Giant of the Road, as demonstrated here, rather than a giant douchebag.

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Rate my lunch /tdf/

I also wan't to say this. Never ever ride with a national championship jersey or rainbow jersey. It's very disrespectful. Only the Champ is allowed to ride with that.

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>>77077597
what brand of tuna is that?

>>77077588
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpgXbli1dDk

>>77077597
Why Curaçao Blue?

>>77077597
7/10
what's your camera

>>77077597
Looks pretty solid. Any dressing with the tuna salad? Is that tomato soup?

>>77077612
Based Alexis

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>>77077516
helmets only became mandatory in late 2003 though, not THAT long ago, im sure some people remember it as well

>tfw imagining Porte without a helmet on Mont du Chat descent

>>77077597
Looks good Carlton

lads i have this feeling that nairo is about to attack at any second now..

>>77077597
#nofilter

>>77077638
kek

>>77077597
You seem to have mistaken this place for Instagram, which may be found here: https://www.instagram.com/
Have a good day, friend.

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>>77077629
>helmets only became mandatory in late 2003 though, not THAT long ago,
>not THAT long ago,

>>77077675
>2003 was 30 years ago
time is a funny thing

Not many chateaux today, friendos

See you folks tomorrow

>>77077702
Filthy casual.

>>77077612
John West no drain Tuna Steak with a little brine because I'm a cheap bastard.
>>77077620
It's just water
>>77077624
Sony meme6000
>>77077626
Just some mustard herb dressing I once got from a book, besides that iceberg lettuce, potatoes haricots verts and olives.

Soup is freshly made tomato soup from only tomatoes.
>>77077632
ty
>>77077638
always
>>77077655
I'm not a square

>>77077760
>>77077760
>>>/facebook/

>>77077760
>I'm not a square

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>Madman

howd that fucker get up there

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>>77077616
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSTdCAx-r7o

cinelli top is probably worth more than any dough he made with this group

>>77076687
Nice.

>>77077829
me on the tree

>>77077860
me with the chainsaw below

Lars Bak looks so cool with his sunglasses

>>77077588
That site is god awful.

>drive-by trumpet platoon

Bob Roll is triggered as fuck over these team strats being used

>>77077834
Les Wampas made a song in honor of Pantani which is pretty nice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im-z75LfP38

>>77077717
I'm not a NEET

>>77077883
c-calm down Hoogerland

this stage is so bad i just bought PCM2017, even though the reviews are complete shit

>>77077223
This is the Volta a Portugal one.
It's embarrassing and likable at the same time.

https://youtu.be/E1g5Xx3o9BM

>>77077970
I know that feel. I haven't bought this year but i have done that in the past. It's crap year after year. The concept is so great i wish a serious company would make the game.

GIVE ME A FUCKING STREAM URL TO SLAP ON VLC GODDAMMIT NOTHING WORKS

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>>77078036
iktf
ik exactly tf

>>77078036
never bought it

might try in 2018

>>77078042
eurosportplayer.com

>>77078042
Turn on the tv? It's fucking everywhere.

>>77078061
please don't give them a franc. They don't deserve anything.

>>77078044
shitty field, too bad

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>>77077936
that is nice
>this stage is so bad I'll do anything rather than watch it, but not the work I'm supposed to be doing instead of watching the tour

>>77078036
it's just those good memories of long careers from pcm2011, when it was actually a decent game.

I think I bought 2013 and 2015 since, but played maybe 2 hours in total on each game.

When are they going to make a tour des etats-unis, I want to see beautiful american chateaux.

>he's a big rider
for you

LMAO THAT WASN'T FUGLSANG

ded

HAPPENING

>>77078101
No.

>>77078096
there are no chateaux in america, only drive-throughs and parking lots

>>77078096
lel

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REE ASO, why are they doing this to me :(

>>77077913
they should all be hung with vintage vittoria inner tubes

who /shouldersandback/ today

>A flask made everyone fall

WHO DID THIS

>>77078126
>what are the Newport Mansions

>>77078126
Walmart after Walmart. It would be glorious.

You now remember Cataldo

Cataldo abandons.
Too many falls from mishandling musettes in feeding zones on this Tour.

>>77078096
Malls are USA architectural equivalent of chateaux

>>77078158
I'm a big fan. This is the worst day of my life.

Usa Tour could have an entire stage on a straight road.

>>77078152
most of the houses in the village I'm from are older than these mansions

>>77074895
I hope today either all of the teams with 1 guy or just the entire quickstep team minus Kittel just close in around him and slow down, keeping him out of the sprint

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How can everyone else even compete?

>Jojo le coq

>Jojo le Coq et Doudou le Poussin

Je suis au sol

>>77078201

You could do a really nice coast to coast tour of the US, you've got a small mountain range on the east coast and a big one on the west to take advantage of with a massive flat area inbetween for Kittel to win stages.

Maybe do NY to LA then alternate that with something like Miami to Seattle.

>>77078234
By delivering Kittel to the finish. For free.

>>77076158
Le cut inside cyclist was pretty funny

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>>77078126
>>77078126
b-but think of all the grass kino

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>>77078236
>>77078251
Pas eu le temps de prendre le poussin avec

>>77078234
There were one sprint in the 2014 Giro were he beat Ben Swift and he came so far back it was crazy.

>>77078126
our national parks are 2nd to none, honestly

>>77078280
Dommage, merci quand même je garde

J'irai voir le replay

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Your average norvegian poster on /tdf/

Hope we'll see Jojo le Coq on the side

>>77078302

Just imagine all the different biomes they could travel through, obviously you'd have to skip quite a ways inbetween stages if you wanted to go laterally across the country but the scenery would be great.

>Going from sandy beaches into swamps, then grasslands, then deserts, then mountains, then redwood forests

>>77078322
Doudou le Poussin is also a great hope

>>77078255
It would most likely be California + Utah + Colorado + Nevada. That would be plenty for a GT.

>>77078319
why is he doing the Trump Salute?

>>77078319
based norge

>>77078319
this is what happens when you follow the 'career' of EBH

Are there non ugly bike outfit?

we're all here, posting on an american website, built to discuss japanese cartoons, bought by a chinese investor watching a french cycling race

really makes you wonder

>>77078319
He's having fun. I'm jelly.

>>77078392
>Nothing African
Color me surprised

>>77078392
With a Danish winner riding for a Kazakh team.

>>77078387
Something for amateurs that doesn't make you look like a gay skeleton

>>77078341
Peut-être en foot vu comme il a gracieusement shooté le carton au sol avec son pied en repartant.

>>77078442
Merde j'ai pas vu

J'essaierai de télécharger le replay et d'isoler la séquence si j'ai pas trop la flemme

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Imagine setting up all the shit just to appear on TV for eight seconds.

>>77078467
based farmers

>>77078467
They have to be approved before

>>77078483
It's their land they can do whatever they want there.

>>77078490
Yes but they have to submit their project to the Tour direction first

>>77078467
>>77078469
is this a pictogram? let me give it a go

duck tractor time noose

>>77078467
yeah but a kiwi shitposter is also posting it on a guatamalan literal frog-chateau sub-reddit RIGHT NOW

>>77078490

They don't show giants dicks. Someone made one at the Amstel Gold Race. They ignored the master piece.

The Tour bows to french farmers.
I have seen in the past were ASO will get them on tv and the deal is they get tv time and then they don't fuck with the race.