/heem/: michael johnson edition

>49-1

Can he do it?

Is this the thread?

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*GADOOOSH*

>Wrestlers are spergs.
>Cubans are cheaters.
>Brazilians LOVE steroids.
What else.

That webm triggers me bad

How many people on /sp/ are actually from countries that aren't the US or Canada?

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Post bets you think will pay off for the TUF 25 Finale and UFC 213

>Johnson-Johnson
>Font-Laprise-Giles

Reminder that the real SpergOP has been gone for months

>>76950079
Nate wins fights.

>>76950144
You could probably include Nick as well.

>>76950098
2 big a favourites not good odds

>>76950144
>>76950164
I think you mean Diaz brothers are eternal gatekeepers

Can't wait until Canada Day or Independence Day falls on a Friday/Saturday. Want patriotic MMA cards with fireworks at the end.

>>76950047
Kys dumb cunt

Anyone got the webm of Nick throwing in the towel when Nate fought Josh Thompson?

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>>76950144
He also gets punched in the leg

>>76950224
Why do people talk about this like it's a bad thing?

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Who is every in heres favorite female ufc fighter?

>>76950242
It's not a bad thing, that's just the only fight I remember where either of the diaz bros got legitimately stopped

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>>76950253

>>76950253
Ronda Rousey

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>>76950253

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>>76950184
Putting $10 Font-Laprise-Giles would net you another $10, which is pretty good considering how unlikely they are to lose their respective fights

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Don't be scared homie

holy Tim Elliot le epic troll man
>You guys are doing really good!

>>76950098
Youre not even old enough to bet

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Yoel Yoel Yoel
Ring a Whittaker's bell
And knock that Count
Straight down into mound

>>76950266
Is she Schaubs wife?

so this is the shit she's doing while he hangs out with Callen

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Seems like Schaubs are always doomed to be terrible athletes with weird looking families

Really makes one ponder

>>76950354
>Supporting a steroid abuser

>>76950377
>wear backless shirt
>get tattoo on your back
>take your shirt off and grind on the artists dick in the photo
nothing to see here, better keep getting stoned with the boys on your fight companion

>>76950404
Lel

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>76950404
>the middle girl
everytiem

3 rounds of humping is my guess.

>>76950449
Ready to take in Jesus pose

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michelle waterson is now a landwhale

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>>76950590
best shes ever looked

Paige Vanzant can beat Joanna
-Demetrious GOAT P4P#1 1million a fight Johnson

>>76950098

Shit tier striking and conditioning

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>>76950598

>>76950418
well Eddie Bravo has some valuable lessons and ideas that will expand his horizons for sure

>>76950594
t. seal hunter in manitoba

>>76950412
Tested by USADA 22 times

>inb4 designer drugs
For sure. Some Cuban with average top fighter pay is just one step ahead everyone else.

>>76950610
what does that pic have to do with Schaub?

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>>76950590
t h i c c

>>76950620
It exposes the Australian Schaub hater as the spammer.

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>>76950620
This

>>76950630
That's Burt Watson, former UFC employee. She interviewed him, it's was her job.

>>76950619
Do some more push ups fruitcake

so Kraus is a fucking retard.

>egages takedown
>gets reversed
>escapes
>goes for back
>gets reversed
>gets humped for rest of fight

every single time.
disengage, strike, and sprawl

>>76950638
was it part of her job when she fucked him afterwards too?

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>>76950608
Smith's conditioning was the main reason he was able to make a comeback against Andrew Sanchez in his last fight
Sanchez was gassed by the 3rd round of their fight despite dominating the first 2 rounds, and Smith had both the striking and conditioning to take advantage of the opportunity that gave him

>>76950590
>Cyborg ur takin errythang I wok for motherfucka, Imma fight yo ass

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>>76950638
do you think she kissed him anywhere else?

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>>76950649
You watch mandrama. proof.

>>76950638
what time do you have to be at work tomorrow?

>>76950638
Kissing him was part of the job? Oh boy

Who else here is unironically a Schaub fan? His comedy is better than Rogan's and Callen's.

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>>76950620
This

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>>76950678
Callen's comedy stylings are beast my guy 100%

>>76950678
what comedy, referencing adam sandler movies?

>>76950696
He was funny for like the minute he was in the hangover

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>>76950590
Damn Wanderlei snuck in the shot

anyone else hope scott coker's fat ass gets fired and bellator goes out of business?

i fucking hate joanna jedrzejczyk. i sincerely hope she gets into a plane crash.


>>76950630
she is a colored woman she can't be blacked that literally doesn't even make sense lol

>>76950619
And failed.

Until Milky Koala found a supplement that had what he got busted for on it.

USADA is a joke.

KRAUSE BTFO

slept

Goddamn. Krause got shitkicked hard. That wasn't even remotely competitive.

Lima is going to be a big favorite right?

Why was krause even on the show? he's in the ufc and on a win streak

>inb4 JT Money goes on a drunken rampage again

I felt it was wrong for Krause to be on the show anyways

>>76950619
Look dude I like Yoel too but he's on some undetectable Cuban government sponsored shit.

So, if the fighter who wins TUF gets a UFC contract, does losing mean Krause loses his?

[spoiler]>>76950786
No, Krause will fight on Friday night. Rumor was against Tom.

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https://www.bloodyelbow.com/2017/7/5/15923822/ronda-rousey-vide-interview-home-invasion-scare-live-kelly-ryan-engagement-travis-browne-ufc-news

>yoel's 48 inch vertical leap

fucking impressive

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>>76950784
Some Fidel castro poisoned cigar type shit

>>76950790
So... Krause already has a contract, very possibly worth more than a TUF winner anyway, why the fuck was he even on the show?

so is the tuf finale fights finalized? can we do the picks now? somebody get me the final fight list

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Threadly reminder

>Bisping beats Yoel
DUDE WHY IS HE ONLY FIGHTING OLD DUDES LMAO

>Bisping loses to Yoel
DUDE I TOLD YOU HE SUCKED LMAO

>>76950085
14

>>76950823
Jesse Taylor vs Dhiego Lima
James Krause vs Tom Gallicchio

Both official fights

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>>76950840
herb help pls

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>>76950856
>le cheap shot man who is overdue a retirement

>>76950856
How did you feel when THE KING won that fight?

>>76950868
doesn't take away from the fact that he heem'd bisbong dead

>>76950848
yeah but i need the complete official main card

>>76950884
you could google it

>>76950881
Its easy to heem someone when they aren't expecting a cheap shot

>>76950888
do timeouts exist?

>>76950895
Yeah when a referee sees something go wrong. Yoel tries to get plenty

>>76950727
For sure, find another company who had that specific ped to be not on the lebal. Oh wait, maybe Yoel is the head if the company himself contaminating batches of drugs.

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>>76950881
Does it take away the from the fact that he lost next two rounds against a man heemed dead ?

>>76950888
Defend yourself at all times, nigga.

Is cain retired

>>76950904
what does yoel have to do with it?

bisbong spits out his mouthpiece and gets a pass because lulz

What the frig is Cody wearing

>>76950919
Did you even see the fight? Are you part of the LIDF or HIDF?

>>76950912
well anderson is about 50 so

>>76950929

your double digit IQ is showing

>>76950266
Every female with tattoos fucks their tattoo artist, every single one. The ugly ones pay with head. This is a widely known, but mostly unspoken rule in the tattoo community. If you see a female with even one tattoo, do a quick 360 and walk well away form her.

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>>76950938
No thats just my post # and its more than 2 digits, dummy

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>>76950886
which of these should i trust?
>ufc.com
>mmajunkie
>sherdog
>wiki
>tapology

>>76950954
beautiful champ

>>76950955
/heem/

>>76950910
lmao malki has done that literally half a dozen times with guys who fail all kinds of shit see Jon Jones and Tim Means you retard.

>>76950949
>imagine believing this

>>76950955
lol you're gonna be okay lil' buddy. In due time the card will reveal itself. Wash your hands 3 times and do the macarena.

>>76950955
I dont know pick one

What the fuck is with this commercial for the Travis Browne fight?

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>>76951017
What about it?

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Why did you let this happen,
>coral springs ?
You were supposed to take care of me!

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>>76950678
Aside from his career highlights I've never seen any of his actual comedy.

>>76951030
who has a bigger penis, Schaub or Browne?

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>>76950955
trust nobody not oven urself

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Lads, what exactly happened to Travis Browne's career? He looked pretty scary for a while, peaking at destroying Barnett. But he's kinda been shit since. Did he get USADAed?

>>76951039
>Ronda went from Schaub to Browne
>Zanella went from Schaub to Browne...and a lot of other guys

They both don't have chins, but Browne has something Schaub doesn't

>>76951049
He got edmond'd

>>76950971
Jones had shadiest excuses ever. Dick pills kangaroo meat are all blaring warning of actual ped use and not contamination. And if you don't believe Yoel story, considering how clean on paper it is, then might as well believe there is no such thing as contamination at all.

>>76951039
I don't know, but Schaub's wife is 1000x hotter than Ronda. Hard not to see him as the winner here, even though Browne heemed him into retirement and then fucked his ex.

>>76951049
he was never good, just big which matters obviously

>>76951070
Cubans are famous for roiding. Literally.

>>76951089
but how big is he?

>>76951112
hes a big guy 4 me

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Is this good technique for MMA?

>>76951089
He was fast and agile for his size, with the right coaching he could have gone places. Edmond JUST'd his whole career.

>>76951127
>You don't know how to jab

>>76951049
he got ARAAH'D

never go to Glendale

NEVER BROW DOWN

>>76951089
>>76951127
He has good kicks. He usually hurts guys when he lands he just doesn't use his length well. He's like stefan struve in that regard although struve is getting a lot better at fighting long.

>>76951127
he definitely had potential and edmund breaks everything he touches, i JUST dont think he was ever any good

barnett, blah, whatever even schaub beat crocop

>>76951070
Jon and Yoel have the same shady manager. A lot of """"contaminated aubstances"""""

>>76951173
I wonder if Yoel and Jones ever double teamed Holly

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Guys who is gonna win this fight?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvJ8qtop8bs

>insult the keto diet
>guy challenges you to a boxing match

>>76951121
You don't need any technique when you're 100lbs heavier than your opponent.

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Who is schaubs wifes sons favorite fighter? Serious answers only senpai

>>76951239
It's Schaub's son, and he doesn't have a favorite fighter because he's a baby.

>>76951250
close your /heem/ tab and go to bed

>>76951239
Tony Ferguson
>Im gonna fuck you till you love me faggot

>>76951259
beg me

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Where is picks guy with the updated picture, I'm starting to get worried.

Anyways, what are ya'll watching? I'm watching UFC 168 on fight pass. The full pay per view. The one what Silvas ankle snaps. I watched it live on /sp/ back in the day. I'm just drunk and crying for some nostalgia. I'm smoking some weed and sipping some beers and in for a good time. The first fight is starting. /blog

P.S. Did you know Brendan Schaubs son is a bastard? Disgusting, the man has no shame or honor.

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>>76951266

>>76951250
>Because he's a baby
Take your ageist bullshit out of /heem/ and never come back you piece of shit.

Why is Schuab's kid a nigger? Is it unironically his wife's son?

>>76951282
>>76951280
You guys make it really difficult to like Canadians. I know there is one Canadian on here that is a cool guy because he has the extra flag extension. The rest of you better be an anomaly.

>>76951293
No, it's Brendan's biological child.

>>76951298
I'm just trying to facilitate discussion on actual fights. I'm no fight pass shill but I'd rather talk with people that subscribe than people that post matt schaub.

I'll happily link every time Schaub gets knocked out for people that subscribe.

>>76951303
So why does it look nothing like him or the her?

>>76950144
>>76950164
>if you dont use my head as a punching bag until you gas out then you're not a real fighter

>>76951303
Is Bongo Swaggo unironically a Woodley fan ?

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I like Whittaker and would like to see him as champ. However, id also love nothing more than to see Yoel heem Bisping.

>>76951379
he's got the better striking pedigree for sure and romero rarely uses his wrestling offensively so i don't know how yoel gets the W

but he'll probably just meme a knee from another dimension and somehow pull it off

whittaker also got stellar TD but that can be an easily inflated stat and i dont know if he's a "real" MW so size could play a role

Romero/Whittaker is a pretty good gauge of Floyd/Conor. Old man vs Young man.

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now ufc has taken the tbd fight off the site

>>76951379
Whoever wins, Bisping loses

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>>76951405
stellar TDD

>>76951193
I could roll my fat ass off of the couch and beat him in any legitimate martial art competition of his choosing

>>76951449
Yeah, you can tell he's a small guy naturally. Very light bone structure. Another guy like that is Sage. He'd be small as fuck if he wasn't lifting and taking """""supplements""""".

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i think they finalized the card. should i start picks based on this?

168 is fucking hype

>>76951197
Pettis looks like the epitome of JUST in this picture

>>76951557
You really think he looks like Schaub?

how do I get Yoel's back muscles famalams?

>>76951582
Cuban supplements

seriously who wins Tavares vs Theodorou? That fight will probably be terrible

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>>76951582
deadlifts and shrugs

>>76951573
It's not so bad lad. Pick up a history book and learn that you live a better life than 99.99% of human history.

Jessica Eye is gonna win unironically

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>For sure Whittaker is going to wi-

>>76951622
About to make my picks but requesting updated saturday card image.

understand if it's not done, there was a shit load of pucks last night

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>>76951622
Gaethje
Lima
Diakiese
Bosse
Tavares
Johnson

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>>76951625
youre gonna be very surprised

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>>76951622
Gaethje
Lima
Diakiese
Cannonier
Theodorou
Johnson

>>76951642
I've watched Aspen Ladd's fights, I think Eye wins a 30-27 decision. Cap this.

>>76951582
quickest way by far is deadlift and power shrugs, but you gotta do em right

he probably got his by some combination of deadlifts and cleans which work your traps a ton

if you get to a 3 plate deadlift (less then six months if you are normal size and not a retard about it) you could probably do 5 plates on power shrugs. by that time you will have backed on some serious upper back muscle as well as a lot of other places cuz deadlift works damn near everything but chest

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>>76951638
why?

>>76951649
If Ladd loses then she has no business in the UFC anyways. Eye is the epitome of women "fighters"

>>76951664
>deadlifts to build your back
nigga just do rows and shrugs

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>>76951622
Gaethje
Lima
Klose
Cannonier
Theodorou
J.Johnoson

>>76951667
can we still give picks for 213

>>76951678
>If Ladd loses then she has no business in the UFC anyways.
All the invicta call-ups have been massive disappointments thus far. The skill in gap is just too wide.

>>76951667
Why what, I want to see it!

>>76951667
So he can keep track of all the different combination hes already submitted, why else?

>>76951688
>All the invicta call-ups have been massive disappointments thus far
>tecia torres
>rose namajunas
>amanda nunes
>cat zingano
>claudia
>felica
>cyborg
>waterson
>paige

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>>76951622
Johnson
Taylor
Diakiese
Cannonier
Theodorou
Johnson

>>76951684
yeah. i'll add them but i make a post for picks for 213 until friday but i will add any that get posted

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>>76951622
Johnson
Lima
Diakiese
Bosse
Theodorou
Fortuna

>>76951622
heeminder Bosse pulled out of the fight

>>76951747
lmao

Time to start over

>>76951727
Oh I should have made the distinction that I meant all the recent invicta call ups have sucked:

>Irene Aldana (0-2)
>Alexa Grasso
>Cindy Dandois (Comical fight)
>Megan Anderson (Would have gotten destroyed)
>Tonya Evinger(Will get destroyed)

>>76951747
fucking hell. this is a shit show. im starting it over

>>76951752
>>76951747
ffs picksfag

>>76951768
you can keep my Simon Birch picks bro, I'm still picking Cannonier

>>76951793
i'll keep the cannonier picks unless contested

>>76950449
>>76950532
>when Jesus hits

if conor takes minimal damage in the floyd loss yall think he actually fights kebab in russia before the end of year?

>>76951823
no

>>76951486
yup

Are they gonna let Romero pour water on himself between rounds?

>>76951829
Every fighter he lost to got USADA'd. You don't post their records at the time they fought Schaub.

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*quacks in russian*

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Johnson vs Gaethje
Lima vs Taylor
Diakiese vs Klose
Cannonier vs Roehrick
Tavares vs Theodorou
Johnson vs Fortuna

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>>76951855
Gathje
Lima
Diakiese
Roehtick
Theodorou
Johnson

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>>76951852
be very careful

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>>76951855
Gaethje
Lima
Diakiese
Cannonier
Tavares
Johnson

>>76951759
>Nina Ansaroff
>Michelle Waterson

>>76951823
No. Dana was lying like he always does.

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>>76951878

>>76951884
Do you know what recent means lad?

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>>76951855
Johnson
Lima
Diakiese
Cannonier
Theodorou
Fortuna

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>>76951855
Johnson
Lima
Diakiese
Cannonier
Theodorou
Fortuna

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>>76951846
>Every fighter he lost to got USADA'd
lmao so hard

>>76951878
>Doktor be careful. Do not inject me with IV. I have to smesh Irish chicken. You know this, I deserve it.

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>>76951855
Gaethje
Lima
Diakese
Cannonier
Theodorou
Johnson

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>>76951855
Johnson
Lima
Diakiese
Cannonier
Tavares
Fortuna

Rousey/Tate 168. Rousey is coming out to

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv6tuzHUuuk

I'm marking out

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>khabib might actually be as good as his nuthugger fans claim but we'll never find out because he's mr. glass

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*walks towards you*

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>>76951855
Don't take the Schaub Shake.jpg picks anymore

Only you can save us picksbro

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aldo was very not humble here

>>76951995
Why shouldn't he take my picks? What makes you so special?

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>>76951995
does this make you upset?

>>76952021
Respect, thanks for all you do.

>>76952021
A little bit

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>Bro you're not even fucking famous yet
>You're out bro

has Team Muscle Pharm or whatever the fuck it's called from Denver had any success yet?

>>76952116
who trains there?

>>76951823
Yes. They've never done a show in Russia before, so setting up the venue and everything in a somewhat short time would be the biggest obstacle

If Yoel loses is his career flushed?

>>76952140
>>76952116
oh shit

>Colorado-based Elevation Fight Team is parting ways with long-time team sponsor MusclePharm.

>“As a team, Elevation Fight Team has decided to move all of it's training from the MusclePharm Facility to the chain of Easton Training Centers located throughout Colorado,” coach Eliot Marshall told MMAFighting.com. “The partnership Elevation has had with MusclePharm over the last four years has been awesome and is something we are all appreciate greatly. That being said, the time to move to more of a traditional setting is now. By moving our training to the Easton Training Centers, our fighters will now reap the benefits of having a full curriculum of classes and many different locations to choose from.

kek i thought the whole fucking point was the "state of the art" muscle pharm facilities

only names i knew who trained there were TJ and Matt Brown

>>76952162
depends how he loses and feels

>>76952176
Maybe he can rebound with a gegard fight, I like Mousasi but Yoel beat him

>>76952190
Would*

>>76952190
>>76952210
would be good matchmaking either way

>>76950982
Ikr

>we're over here in the winner's circle
>yall in the losers circle

>>76952270
could tim elliot actually beat up crazy julian?

a lot more technically sound but gotta be giving up like 50 fucking pounds

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Who the fuck booked this shit?

>Joanna
Ok, one of the p4p GOATs and hands down the most dominant woman in MMA, she belongs there.

>Cyborg
Roid freak but also a heeming machine and huge draw, she can stay.

>PVZ
The last marketable female left on the UFC roster. I guess you can put her up there.

>Michelle Waterson
A literal fucking nobody with no charisma, no appeal, no talent in the ring.

>I would love to see my coaches
>I would love to see my training partners and have them here for fight week

nigga you aint even in the fucking tournament what you need your coaches for

>>76952282
>like 50 fucking pounds
I don't think so, Julian has fought at 155 and Tim is a huge 125er

>>76952303
julian clearly on the gas now though, he looks like a juiced out gym rat compared to his first appearance

>>76952288
probably i'll fall asleep listening to this, and queue up a bunch of episodes of fight mom

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>>76952288
Are they gonna put this on youtube or is it fite pass only ?

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Is Brenton Spooge a good fighter?

>>76952364

It's already up, buddeh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ECWRcN6rkc

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All he had to do was stay on his feet

>>76950144
>Nate wins fights.
He's 19/11 - he also loses a lot.

>>76952386
diaz brothers dont lose fights

they retire because this sport is bullshit

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Why the fuck do you fags care about WMMA? These fights are so shoddy, I bet any male journeyman the same weight can easily ktfo the best female fighter.
Is it just waifus?

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>>76950354

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>>76951995
it was bothering me how shit that is

>>76952401
Mostly shills m8
Plus a smattering of omega autists
Also take a guess as to who's behind this glorication of womens violence

>krause and taylor play greco roman touchbutt for 12 minutes

krause really screwed himself the way he started the second. he fought off the shot perfectly and then just refused to disengage and go back to strike

could have stuffed a few TDs and started lighting him up when the gas set in

>>76952401
Im the type of guy who yells chick fight instead of separating them. Also I provoked schoolchildren to fight each other on occasion. The fact that it ISN'T two trained guys fighting adds flavor for me

>>76952401

I just like fighting m8, doesn't matter if it's women or men. I just wanna see people fight.

Is that really so hard for you to accept?

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Go on heem

>>76952461
>you will never have a pool triangle inserted into your upper back

feels bad mayne

>>76950619
>For sure. Some Cuban with average top fighter pay is just one step ahead everyone else.
he's already been busted and banned.
You make it seem like he's some angel. lol. he's an abuser, ffs, just admit it.

What are the chances Gaethje gets another leg kick KO on Friday?

>>76952470
He's natty bro, genetics

>>76952477
0.482%

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>>76952443
>>76952456
How pleb. You can't appreciate a high level bout between two martial artists.
The state of this general.

>>76952288
>one of the p4p GOATs
GOAT in women's MMA means nothing.
ridiculous to even use the term.

>>76952480
A (You) cuz I chuckled.

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>>76951855
Gaethje
Lima
Klose
Jared
Theodore
4Tuna

@76952520

thanks for your casual opinion

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>>76952536
Based Igor

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>>76952541
Adan is right for once. WMMA, wgaf

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>>76952480
This is his brother.

>>76952595
He's 29-1 professional boxer, notbad

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>>76952541
you're welcome

>>76952618
Dont they all have records like that in pillowfist ?

>>76950651
Top jej

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>>76952640

>>76952645
how would that be possible though? who are guys that lose

>>76952552
wtf I love Ric Flair now

anybody accusing Romero of steroids is a bum that doesnt know the meaning of hard work. i look better than him and i'm natty

>>76952645

pretty much yeah. with the way matchmaking is structured in boxing a decent manager can protect a fighter and feed him cans for literally decades.

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>wmma = wgaf

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>>76952654
>when-she-sees-me-naked.webm

>>76952701
It's expensive to prop a fighter up, so long careers of nothing but fluff only happen with massive draws that attract casuals. Boxing is more of a cash-in business where a typical prospect will be moved slowly and carefully and then thrown into the shark tank after a certain point.

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>"Brendan that's a lie, and you know that"
>"listen my guy, I'm not the guy. She said she was 22"
>"Brendan,do you think Bisping would approve of this?"
>"Bisping asked me to help her with her podcast"
>"Hey bb how are you doin?"
>"please no bro"
>"Did you know I was in the NFL,u like?The Tiger is in his cage and my wife is with Kevin Lee"
>"it was a prank my guy"
>"do you blaze???my bros Joe and Bryan loves 2 blaze but you gotta bring a friend,young guy please"
>"sir it's a misunderstanding"

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>>76952718

400 calories left

What should I eat?

>>76952815
4 bananas obv

>>76952815
ur moms box

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>>76952823
thats a big pussy

Lesnar about to fuck up Mir on 24/7

>>76952683
that shit gives you heart disease,
among other problems, bro.
get off it.
pls, bro.

Aw nuts heem

Gaethje is gonna get murked isn't he?

>>76950354
>reddit's boy

>>76952838
best fight

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R8 this card

>>76952683
post a pic, because i bet youre really a 280lb larper

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>>76952894
>DC
>Country: United States

>Jones
>Country: USA

>>76952894
i will buy it/10

>>76952894
I thought Choi was out

>>76952912
He was rescheduled from 213

>>76952894
remove dober/burkman and it's perfect

>>76952894
pretty good