/tdf/ Stage 3 - Verviers / Longwy | Tour de France 2017

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>using pedals

bumpy

Dutch anon who's bike got stolen.
Greentext story coming in, I fell asleep yesterday because I'm weak.

Sorry for those who waited.

This might be a day for the Belgiumbros: Gilbert or GvA.

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>>76906139

>>76906155
me on the left with polka shirt

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COMFY

Had to miss the first two stage. Any memes yet? also, who's /ourguy/ this year?

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I miss the aussie

>Be on a scenic tour in the Dutch countryside 3/4 of the way between Utrecht and Amsterdam.
>Suddenly a mate calls me.
>Says he is on a tinder date and this slut he wants to shag brought her 16-year old friend with her.
>Tells me it's easy puss and I need to come over asap.
>Say I'm cycling home first to drop off my bike and shower.
>BRO CLUNGE IS LEAVING GET HERE NOW
>Sends pics showing two well fit girls
>Shift gears, up the cadence to Froome levels.
>Drop all the casual weekend dads with their fat bellies contoured by old Rabobank jerseys harder then Skeletor drops Columbians.
>Run into an H&M near the cafe with bike, buy a shirt, pants, shoes and a few bracelets.
>Proceed to run towards the nearest basic fit to shower.
>Cleats on bloody belgian block, dislocate ankles several times, look like a newborn horse running.
>Take bike inside basic fit dressing room, staff earns too little to care.
>Take shower, big swole bloke compliments my on my vasculairity, asks me the secret.
>Get dressed quickly, dry hair and rush to the cafe.
>Mate and said clunge still there.
>Ask if I can lock my Pinarello to his Vespa and the bike rack.
>Lock the fuck out of my pride and joy.
>Meanwhile my designated lady is already frothing at the gash, impressed by my cheekbones.
>Chat a while longer before taking them to dinner nearby, sneakily hold my hand on her muff.
>Girls say how they want to visit a hip place to spend they evening.
>Take a Uber to the Bloemenbar, fluffing up her flange on the entire route.
>Spend the entire evening in the smoking room ruining my lungs and feeling up her wet slit.
>My mate is full on grabbing his slut by the growler.
>I proceed to buff her beaver in full view of some stoned as fuck dude who proceeds to high-five me.
>Proceed to go to his place so we can fuck them silly.
>Fuck
>Wake up at ten or so.
>Say goodbye to the fanny & tits we plastered
>Walk towards the cafe
>Instead of the bike rack, my Pinarello and the Vespa there's two holes in the ground.

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i guess you can say today is going to be a Long(wy) stage

the worst thing about seeing the start of stages is hearing people constantly say "it's nice to see the start of stages and see the battle to get in the groups".

>>76906183
tl;dr

Region free STREAM please guys
I'm at work

>>76906182
He was here on the first day

>>76906176
You missed Quintana attacking. Now you have to wait another three lifetimes for it to happen :^)

>>76906192
>Locked Pinarello together with a vespa to a bike rack in Amsterdam.
>Thieves took the entire rack with the bike and scooter.

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The final climb

would love to take a piss with 160 other lads

>its a Chris talks about peeing while still cycling episode

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is ass an athlete?

What I like about these early phases is that the guys in the breakaway are actually leading the whole race in real time.

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>>76906285
Only Dutch ass is an athlete.

Vortex should be illegal or not ?

>>76906285
I'm glad someone screen-capped this

>>76906327
its permitted by commissaires....... I'd be more worried by the ped's team are sky are using rather than their skin-suits

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we spa now

>>76906155

Should have been an immediate DQ.

Fucking cheater.

I fell for the Jew and just bought yurosportplayer subscription to watch the stages at work.

>>76906183
>16 year olds
jesus christ anon

this is what you get for being a slave to your benis tbqh

enjoying ringo starr on itv4

>>76906183
>Leaving your expensive bike outside at night in Amsterdam
baka senpai

http://spa-francorchamps.be/en/webcam you can see them here.

>>76906183

El oh el- none of this happened. Bullies stole your huffy didn't they?

>8-wide into Raidillon

madmen

BLOO FLAAG

>>76906378
>shit bitrate
>only nordic languages
fell for it couple of years ago
never again
t. 1080p 50fps 13Mbps europort acestream

>>76906416

You can use a VPN to sign up for British Eurosport.

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GOAT track

>>76906416
gib link

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>>76906378
>having a job

Who is this fucking weapon on ITV4 commentary

>>76906183
Why do I have the suspicion you are British?

Impressive amount of slang.

>>76906434
that guy that used to be on brookside

>>76906426
they went to spa?

hello

>>76906455
yes, just left the track

>>76906386
Oi, it's legal here, also prime puss, since the upped the legal drinking age from 16 to 18 they have become way more lusty for older guys getting them in clubs/bars etc..
>>76906392
What else could I have done.
>>76906403
It did.
>>76906439
Spend a year in Bristol.

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What happens here?

>>76906459
bonjour

>>76906465
Based nonce normalfag

>>76906476
rich people

>>76906476
tax avoidance, probably

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lets caravan guis!!

>>76906432
I like having tons of money

>>76906392
don't worry it was a chinarello and the chick was 300 lbs

there is literally no excuse for having a job in July

>>76906465
Cycling >>> Fucking a whore in the red light district
Think with your brains not with your balls

>girl from that iPad Pro ad
brehs

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>poo in it

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>>76906518
agreed.

I've taken two weeks off work and im going to call in sick for a week.

Toying with the idea of developing "clinical depression" or a bad back so i can watch the vuelta

>>76906532
That's the motto of pasty beta Billy no-mates not living their lives in full because of it, you bloody bender.
If you are not listening to your cobblers chasing that fanny what's even the point in living?

jesus christ, matt smith can ask some inane questions

>sbs doing full stage coverage with what seems like no ads

This is absolutely based
and it makes me even more steamed about the bullshit giro deals

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Anyone ever get sore testicles the day after cycling?

just asking

>>76906583
>watching itv over Eurosport

>>76906619
>going anywhere near carlton kirby

>>76906619
>watching eurosport

I bet you voted remain, traitor

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>>76906622
>>76906624
Not appreciating the focking legend that is Carlton.

>>76906575
Based normalfag

Oh, Andy Schleck is commentating today. Cool.

>>76906622
Carlton is based, kys

>>76906615

I bought a seat with a ridge down the middle.

I'm always baffled by anyone who doesn't use one. It's as if they hate erections.

Have they gone through Spa-Francorchamps yet?

t. /f1/

>>76906657
gay

>>76906659
Yes

>>76906659
yes

>>76906666
nice

>>76906666
>>76906667
*finds the Eurosport vod*
about what time did they do it?

>>76906680
about 35min ago

>>76906680
1/2 hour ago

>>76906680

192k to go Sven

>>76906680
At around 1pm (GMT+1), iirc.

>>76906680

Make a webm of it please.

>>76906657
>Not getting a based FI'ZI:K Arione to slam your testicles back up in your abdomen.

Fucking casual.

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>>76906703
Of the whole thing? I don't know if it will fit

>>76906718

Just whatever fits would be cool.

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TWO CITIES

ONE ASS

>>76906518
>using your vacation days during the summer
>not saving them for the winter so you can take multiple weeks off and fly with your bike to somewhere with sun and warm weather
My colleagues always tell me to waste my vacation days during the summer and then wonder a few months later how I still have vacation days left and can fly south when they're left into polar night without any sunlight being all jealous. As an added bonus as everyone is off work in July I can get shit done much better.

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>>76906736

nuke israel

>>76906706
A casual who will still be able to have sex in ten years.

>>76906753
just stop giving them money

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>>76906657
I've got pic related.

it takes longer to break in than a brooks, but its thicker, weather resistant leather and has longer rails. hurt for 500 miles but now its moulded to my anatomy and inordinately large male member.

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What emotion is he trying to convey?

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>tfw no Nibali

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>just as the leaders enter Raidillon
>camera cuts away

>>76906777
not impressive tbqh

>>76906764
the real reason why euros are pro immigration

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so... out of 10 how fucked is wiggos reputation?

i'm going with a 7

>>76906764
>that guy on the back of the motorbike

someone post some puck before i fall asleep

>>76906814
what happened now?

>>76906764

He will never have a big nigger dick to satisfy with.

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>>76906846

>dennis the poo

Going to the fridge. Can I get you something?

>>76906875
a sense of purpose in life, please

>>76906845
someone leaked that wiggins had been given a theraputic use exemption for industrial strength cortico steroids before he won the tour .... also he received a mystery package of medication which nobody in sky has any paper work for

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>>76906734
first

They never give the names of the breakaway. Shitty production this year.

Someone has a mobile stream pls?

>>76906888
source

>>76906894
but was it faster than a McLaren?

>>76906913
the source is 2016

>>76906879
I'm sorry, anon. Haven't found that in the fridge (or anywhere) yet and, trust me, I looked. Can I offer you a beer instead?

>>76906924
They got round didn't they

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>>76906913
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=wiggins+kenacort

it was pretty funny. all the guys who wiggins had pissed off in the past stuck their boot in and crucified him (david millar, froome etc)

Eurosport is very comfy today. TdF on E1, live snooker on E2.

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second

Why is Sky allowed to wear white Jerseys?

Wow those roads and infrastructure look much better than 5 minutes ago somehow

>>76906990
I might make a snooker thread for that on the weekend.

I miss Andy Schleck :(

>>76907016
Of course

>walloon roads

>>76907021
Andy Shit more like haha

>muh rain
>muh why do we have to drive down mountains as professional bike riders

>>76906183
>putting this much effort in just to fuck some tinderslut

the fuck

>>76906894
>>76907005

Neat. Thanks.

>>76906183
Degenerate/10
I'm glad someone stole your bike.

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>>76907063
I posted two in /f1/ as well
>>76906932
>>76907054

Villages a cute!
Comfy levels rising.

>>76907049
Trust a Dane
feel the pain

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>>76907124

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>all these smoothly rolling green fields

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just got out of the shower
rolling up some weed
playing some cave story+
watching some tightly clad lads cycle in nice villages

top comfort atm

>>76907176
DUDE

>>76907176
WEED

>>76907181
WEED

>>76907176
i got sum jack herer brah.

what strains you got dude?

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>>76907181
>>76907187
>>76907189

Could Taylor Phinney win this stage?

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>>76907181
>>76907187
>>76907189
Blaze it

>>76907176
sick flow

>put reporter on bike
>never talk to him

what did tv2 mean by this

>>76907204
No. Finish is too steep.

>>76907198
trainwreck

>>76907218
Don't you dare dissing Rolf

>>76907269
im not, why are none of the producers or commentators talking to him

So being first on top of a hill = €800
winning a sprint = €1500
Why such a big difference?

Sagan bumping the gorilla, it's time.

>>76907021
He's one of our guest commentator for today. Quite comfy

>Sagan bullying Gorilla

When will Greipel rip his arm off

>>76906182
>you now miss old /tdf/
>no swissnegros, aussieposting, brazilbro making jerseys, romania posting alpecin videos

>>76907310
only one sprint per stage.
many KOMs per stage.

>shilling for niggers

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No rain finally!

This constant 1:30-2:00 gap is putting me to sleep, at least let them get 4-5 minutes so I can hold onto the illusion that the breakaway might make it.

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>>76907363
Hello other Austrian. feels good, man. Although it could still be a bit warmer.

>>76906134
kick that bottle right back into the peloton you fucking retard
fucking retarded rules

>>76907340
No, the comms said they get that money for intermediate sprints.

>>76907363
cute boy
>>76907373
CUTE ŽIŽEK

>>76907392
yeah, there's one intermediate sprint per stage

havin a piss m8?

>have to watch stream on phone because it's blocked at work
>mobile Internet reception is so bad it skips all the time even on 240p

oh boy this is gun

I'm so glad these threads are back. I missed you bros. Comfy as fuck.

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>taking a piss while driving in to corner

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>>76907369
*blocks your race*

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presume everyone has seen this by now, but what a photo

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>>76907452
*blocks your broadcast*

>>76907439
y-you too

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>5 minutes of phinney mumbling in his bed

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>can't decide whether to watch this or Wimbledon
>got both but can't concentrate on either

>>76907486

/tdf/ a /yfmoc/ la

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>>76907486
>tennis

>>76907471
I've heard several interviews with him yesterday. First I thought he was on shrooms, but after hearing his story I understand why he's so laid back.

>>76907486
Check back in in about 2 hours.

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>tour de france
>not in france

>>76907486

Wimbledon until the last few kms of this.

What was the memiest TDF?

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>>76907505

>>76907501
Based /yfmoc/bro.

Wew all these Lads' arses making me a bit sweaty hhaha

>>76907517

2011 was pretty memey with le funny face guy keeping the yellow warm for oz autist.

>2021 TdF
>Riders start right after Fajr
>Eat halal breaky
>Ride to Dhuhr
>Mandatory prayer zone
>Continue to Asr
>Mandatory prayer zone

Why do both Sky and Trek look like they all wear malliot blanc?
What was wrong with the regular red and black/blue?

>>76906894
>>76907005
>>76907088
Thanks for these. Overslept and missed the start by half an hour.

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>>76907539
Delet

>>76907539
>2017 TdF
>Stage ends in Marseille
>city is composed mostly of culturally enriched people
>a truck runs into the crowd

Good stage this. Like a mini one day classic Next climb 9%

>>76906353
>its permitted by commissaires.......

As far as I understand the case, it's not that it's explicitely permitted, it's just that the commissaires couldn't determine if it could be allowed or not due to ambiguities in the UCI rules, and therefore they sent the case to the UCI to be judged. So in the meantime, as it has still not been forbidden (or explilictely allowed), it can be used.

Of course, my guess is that Sky perfectly knew this is how it was bound to happen. Commaissaires can't rule off UCI rules, so they asked them at the last possible time so that the UCI's judgement would come way too late, as they certainly won't change the rules in the middle of the most important race of the season.

Just cynicism/smartness depending on what's your take on it.

The lack of team time trials this year and in recent years is troubling.

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That Katusha rider is a fucking giant.

Are the Russians engineering cyclists now?

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>>76907578

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>>76907611
J u s t

any riders ever take their dicks out for the lads?

>>76906476
tax evasion, mainly

>that one retard waving at the helicopter while half way on the road and peloton coming behind him

>>76907607
Wasn't Katusha officially Swiss now? Or am I remembering things wrong?

>>76907599
they've been using that kit since May. Movistar have been using similar kit all year.

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>>76907606
Sky would literally kill the competition.

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>Danish TV2
>Rolf, Brian Nygaard and CAS.
>insightful anecdotes and actual analysis about tactics, training, nutrition and so on

>Norwegian TV2
>two screaming howler monkeys in the commentary booth
>the one with some actual knowledge about cycling is demoted to conducting interviews with drunk Norwegian retards along the road
>DUDE WHERE IS KRISTOFF RIGHT FUCKING NOW WE NEED TO KNOW
>DUDE EDVALD CAN WIN I BELIEVE IT

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>>76907578
>truck runs into the crowd

>>76907642
>American TV
Dude it's like f1 lmao haha nascar

>>76907643
Something something Orica bus.

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>>76907672
:^)

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>>76907672
>>76907643
*blocks your path*

>>76907642
Australian coverage is just two boring blokes reading off Wikipedia and reciting cliches. Oddly comfy.

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*blocks your path*

>>76907517
I'm 1989 would've provided a ton of memes when >fignon managed to lose the yellow on last day by 8 seconds to Greg Lelmond

this scenery is pretty comfy

>>76907719
Yeah, that castle was comfy as fuck.

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>>76907634
By name and registration.
Still owned and part funded by a Russian oligarch.

Sadly he lacks the banter of Tinkoff.

>Imagine a tour with only teams led by crazy Russian Tinkoff clones.

The shitposting and memes would be too much too handle.

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>>76907642

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>ywn live in a small village with a comfy castle

>tfw TDF on national TV with comfy historic anecdotes

Welp, Politt is kill. See, that's why you pack extra Alpecin to go damn it!

>>76907731
Imagine being me m8

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I really miss Oleg.

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>>76907703
Lance era was full of memes

USA
S
A

>>76907734
Oh wow, context?

>>76907754
>thinks this is real

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>>76907754
tv show, it's fake.

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>you will never win her favor by doing heroic deeds

>>76907754
don't know

i'm not even sure it's not fake and staged

>>76907772
>you will never lick the sweat off her face

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>>76907762
>>76907763
Fair enough.

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Curves like a well bred mule

Gallopin is pointless. what does he do? Like an even shitter TJ

>>76907797
post the one with her little compression socks on :3

>>76907797
>comparing women to equus
Do you have something to share with us mate

>>76907808
c'est un petit galopin :^)

>>76907797
What is she listening to, lads?

>>76907823
How can one man be so based

>>76907808
Awww. He hurt his ankle when he fell, and the same day his house got burgled.Cut him some slack.

>>76907823
haha

Froome retired yet?

>>76907797
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZa4yre0uEk

>>76907642
KYS WE LOVE PAASCHE AND KAGGESTAD HERE

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Would you sniff her saddle?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE PAUL AND PHIL. KYS ROBBIE

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>>76907835
His social media prowess is unparalleled.

>>76907823
lmao

>>76907876
yes

Can someone post the screenshots of the guy from last year in the thread that made the sign and got on TV?

>>76907876
no..phinney on the other hand...

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do you follow Tour du Burkina Faso?

>>76907642
>98% of the stage is comfy and insightful as fuck
>the last 2% are meh


>98% of the stage is mediocre
>last 2% of stage hype as fuck with norwegian commentators going fucking apeshit

>>76907876
I'd let her use my face as a saddle

Need subtitles for Sagan

>>76907889
>being a miserable and bitter old man
>based

thinking emoji

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>>76907895

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>>76907797
explain

>>76906426
FUCK

>>76907889
I like Oleg but why is he being such a salty faggot about Contador

Not Contador's fault you were dumb enough to think an old horse could contend

Whining about his poor decisions to waste a couple million on some dude thats over the hill..

>>76907899
why aren't there more blacks in the tdf?

>>76906990
patrician network desu

Tinkov is a moron but still prefer him to Vaughters

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>>76907889
>His social media prowess is unparalleled.


orly

>>76907929
Too dumb to ride properly, thankfully

>>76907921
it looks like he has a right hand on his left arm

>>76906894
These fucking memsters not even going faster than the normal riding guys L E L.

>>76907929

Even the African team realized they're better off by leaving them home

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>>76906476
Fuglkang had his first child just before the tour there. Riis lived there when he won the tour.
Lars Bak also lives there.
>>76906615
usely it would mean your sitting worng on your saddle and you need to adjust it.
>>76906583
>>76906619
>>76906622
>>76906624
Eurosport and Sporza are the only relevant channels. everything else is basically breastfeeding for once-a-year fans.
>>76906975
Pauline is my favorite cycling cutie
>>76907218
that they are a shitty morning show tier broadcast directed at housewifes and 50 yo potbelly csc fans. or maybe there just isn't anything to report on.
>>76907269
>>76907286
Rolf is the only good thing about TV2
>>76907310
isn't that only for shithills like these.
>>76907021
>>76907324
Andy is one of those guys who has a lot of natural ability but not that psycopath drive so he ends up getting the wrap that he wasn't serious or was a cry baby. but he seems like a genuine person.
>>76907328
Greipel will win a little later i think.
>>76907363
>ywn manuel-fuck her from behind while she screams for more
:(
>>76907461
you can always see froomdogs cock. literally no picture excist were he isn't bulging
>>76907466
*tucks you in and tells a bedtime story about that time when he attacked*
>>76907486
ask the guy your fellating
>>76907505
>world's luckiest man
>Jon Dough
>>76907540
It's sad how their is no respect for jerseys any longer. have you seen Sinkledams national championship jersey? totally shit and the dutch confederation has to approve those jerseys first.

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>>76907920
>>76907927
desu he had faith in cuntador for years, it's just that the Spanish internet defence force comes into play every time he mentions him, which makes him hate Contador.

>>76907954
nobody asked you

>>76907954
kill yourself my man

>>76907452
my dick is pretty much always on the right side, what about yours lads?

>>76907954
nice blog post faggot

>>76907954
Post with a trip pls so I can filter you

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>>76907938

>>76907929
I guess there's no good African team

Plus if you mean "why no black immigrants from 1st world countries", I guess it's because immigrants mostly live in big urban areas, not the best breeding ground for drugwheel racers. I guess most pro cyclists come from countryside cities where it's much easier to train.

I want to live in that castle

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>>76907972
Balls to the left, penis to the right, halfway curving upward.

>>76907999
like the princess you are

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>a lady pro cyclist will never hit you in the face with a gush of piss whilst she hurtles by you at staggering 15km/h

why even breathe?

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>>76907505

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I think Tinkof may have fucked Contador's wife.

the surface of these roads is more pornographic than the scenery

fuck US roads

>>76907972
I point mine straight up

one bollock dangles down on each side of the saddle

M O V I N G N A T U R E B R E A K

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>>76907946
you don't need to be smart, though, just to follow the orders

do you remember the outrage amongst the riders when they suggested to have a stage without earplugs some years ago?

COOCKING REVOLUZHON

>tour de France is actually a tour de France and other western European countries

really activates my almonds

>>76908036
i'm >>76906615 btw

Tell me about Sky, why do they wear the yellow?

>>76908034
This. Why are European roads so nice?

>>76908039
still, they need to handle the descents etc.

>>76907694
>>76907682
>>76907680
>2013
fml it was already 4 years ago

>>76907607
It's Nils Politt. officially 192cm and 80kg

Best place to watch a broadcast?

These aussies we have are boring

>>76908072
Geraint Thomas won the time trial

>>76908055
It's because Europe belongs to France

>>76908072
Don't have to change helmets when one of them is inevitably wearing the yellow jersey.

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>>76908055
In 2020 the three toures will be combined into the Tour de Euro.

Symbolizing our unity.

>>76908073
>Apart from Belgium.

>>76907808
his wife is hot tho

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>would housekeep for some richfag

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>>76908055
I want a Tour de France that starts in Québec and has its following stages in Guadeloupe and Martinique.
Then in Guyanne, and the riders would ride alongside rockets aligned on the launchpad, just for French dickwaving.

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>>76908089

How long until we get a tour of China? Seems like the next step in China copying everything other first world countries have.

>>76908073
I don't know. I saw some video about railway guys in Norway and they were super professional and looked genuinely concerned about the quality of their work.

The road crews in my state purposely grade the dirt roads right before it rains so they are completely fucked 100% of the year.
They fill potholes with oatmeal.

>>76908108
Amazingly shitty idea.

>>76908112
is he related to former president hollande?

>>76908115
a silk road cycling competition could be comfy

The tour of India is the best thing that can happen to cycling 2bh

>>76908122
who gives a fuck, let the gladiators die for the entertainment

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>>76908073
Our bikepaths are as smooth as the inside of a baby's foreskin.

>>76908084
>not liking matt and robbie
dood

>>76908115

Riders would be forced to wear scuba gear to breathe non polluted air.

I'd watch that.

>>76908135
DESIGNATED

>>76908089
back off, Napoleon

>>76908108
now these are ideas