/heem/: no dad edition

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reminder

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who /salmon/ here

Who is your favorite women's mma fighter?

>>76870196
>David Teymur's brother
>Snoop Dog
>Courney Casey
literally who?

>>76870226
You're a piece of shit and you've never posted anything worth reading.

>>76870260
What is your purpose in life? Is it trolling or just being angry?

>>76870260
>You're a piece of shit
take it to /b/

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>>76870226
hahahaha bless

How many fights are left in ACB?

>>76870344
this + 5 more

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>>76870311

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>tfw no fights this weekend

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*crawls out from under bed*
*rapes Tigger*
heh nothing personnel kid, ur conditioning sucks

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>>76870512
Awful meme, makes no sense, buzz off.

>old thread reaches 500
>a single threads is made on time and the OP is informative

Amazing what a difference banning a couple of spergs makes.

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>>76870524
I think its a great meme, riled you up fast

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MIKE IS BACK

>>76870613
UFC Tonight Host Michael Bisping hitting the heavy bag.

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Will Whittaker die?

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For me it's her

and there's a guy from espn who said this.They couldn't let this girl to celebrate her mma debut victory.Fuckin espn

https://twitter.com/HeatherHardyBox/status/880945251992600576

>>76870196
>Snoop Dog

It's the D O double G, you stupid underage pleb faggot.

Go outside and get socialize with your peers for once.

>>76870585
this thread was made early

>>76870704
He didnt say it wasnt. Learn to read, dummy.

>>76870699
>Go outside and get socialize

Really portions the neurons

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>>76870196
>Snoop Dog

>>76870585
>a single threads is made on time

Really makes you think.

Who else remembers the Dana White vlog where the UFC social media chick is tweeting snoop dogg and she spells is D O G and Dana corrects her and says "Where you from, lady"?

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Romero was rocked against Kennedy

Low stamina on Romero + going up against Whitaker with good striking and good movement to avoid takedowns = my boy Whitaker is taking this fight, I'm happy to say.

Romero will be gassed and lose TKO

Sad. Romero was looking at a championship match against Bitchping and instead will lose to the up and coming Holloway of the MW division

No Belt Cruz lmao

>>76870766
link plos

>>76870727
Grow up.

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YOUR KID SUCKS...in bed

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>>76870613
> MIKE
seems

>>76870985
see>>76870948

>>76870613
YOEL ON SUICIDE WATCH

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The biggest ESPN success.They made Michelle Waterson to look like Mowgli but without being in a jungle

>>76870985
Tony looks like a tough son of a bitch. As a steep latino, ready to open your throat with a knife for any reason. I'm rooting for him.

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>>76871020
Looks like Liu Kang

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Another success of ESPN

>>76870242
Rose Namajunas

>>76870936
Wow... you're really stupid.

>>76871062
lol

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Here in ESPN we always looking for the right color and size in pants

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How tall is this bitch

>>76871183
Terrible feet

>>76871093
I didnt fucking watch it how the fuck am I going to find it

>>76870654
>https://twitter.com/HeatherHardyBox/status/880945251992600576
Dan Rafael looks like a janitor for this site. How the fuck is he qualified to talk about boxing?

>>76871262
Shut the hell up you Brazilian and stop posting here. I don't like you

>>76871283
If you are going to challenge me you better make you have good angles and tht you can out awkward me my man.

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lmao *Can't breathe*

>>76871262
How the fuck am I going to find it, dummy? Do you know how many Dana White vlogs there were?

>>76871213
Bobby is obviously sitting on a bar stool ya goof

>>76871336
fair enough

AMA

>>76871213
what race is whiteaker

Remember when Khabib waited for Tony and didn't take another fight
Now Tony is constantly talking shit in Twitter

>>76871273
I dont know mate.It really pissed me off.Maybe espn wants everyone to follow Michelle Watersons photoshoot and message as a role model for July

>>76871383
A great black race.

>>76871410
Tony would make kebab tap

>>76871383
He looks part polynesian/Islander to me. I guess like with Hunt, a bunch of Polynesian/Islander folk in Australia have adopted English names.

>>76871373
plz get rid of flyweight

>>76871357
I'd spunk on her face.

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>tfw you lose to a little midget Russian

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Smugchenko

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>>76871318
dat ass

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>1 week into fight camp and chill
>she turns to you and gives you this look
>"personal issues"

>>76871505
lol

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>>76871569
I was really looking forward to her fight

>>76871593
Anyone know if Fili is still fighting on this card?

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Why do people who have never fought and only lift weights think that they can defeat fighters of all levels (professional or amateur) at fighting?

>>76871635
Rich Piana would be HW champ if he wanted.

>>76871659
Considering the state of that division, that's not saying much. Joke's aside, he's trash and fights like this. Schaub would legitimately murder him in the first exchange.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW6cBdP323g

>>76871593
Manuwa-Özdemir is gonna be spicy

>>76871635
The purpose of weight lifting is to inflate your ego so no surprise.

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>>76870585
Who got banned?

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>>76871683
>that flexibility
>that jumping height
>that sheer mass
>those basic striking skills
Honestly he would straight up bob sapp tier murk dudes through his sheer size. Would actually do pretty good consedering how agile he is

Schaub is my man but would give him a hard time 100%

>>76871593
Wow Smolyakov is not fired yet.

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if a division isnt popular do you agree with dropping it?

>>76870241
>name is Salmon
>looks like a salmon

Is this poetry?

>>76870613
Better boxing than Conor.

Who in the top 20 of heavyweight could "The Hybrid" beat if he returned?

>>76870241
this dude got a really fucking square head

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Daily reminder :

Jonny is back in 28 days

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>>76870654
>>76870654

>>76871905
Don't jinx it now.

>>76871905
DC did better than a lot of people give him credit for in that first fight, but he still got embarrassed when it was all said and done

not getting any younger i can't see him getting past motivated Bones meme

>>76871961
>50-45
>embarrassed

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How does this end?

>>76871008
fake champ is fake

is this good training?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BWAhX3sF4eL/

>>76871927
average american you mean

>>76872263
no it's not, trust me

>>76871927
literally me

>>76872211
two headcases with CTE bringing more headcases into the world

circle of life

>>76872263
apparently her coach whos also tagged there also trains brett primus. Hes got a world champ under his wing must be good training

>>76871905
>Misses weight in 27 days

>>76871927
The John Goodman of espn

DC and Jones will be called off because DC hurts his lower back. Calling it now. Screen cap this.

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>>76872197
>be this wrestling guy, king of grind
>get out wrestled and out grinded by a lanky kid who does drugs and sandblasts prostitutes instead of training

Getting beat at what you do best by a guy you hate the most is embarrassing

>>76872352
He will lose again too.

>>76872197
i fucking love that the entire start to the beef was Jones jokingly saying "i bet i could take you down" the first time he met DC

then the madman does it

that shit where he stopped striking near the end of the round and then unloaded was hilarious too. dc btfo

>>76872352
>>76872374
last time I checked it wasnt a wrestling match. BTFO

>>76872367
I expect him to retire if he does

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is this good training
https://www.instagram.com/p/BT5cIHlBr3q

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>>76872394
Not like DC out struck him either


BTFO

>>76872417
>#1 rule for MMA instagram posting
>"it was the end of a long workout"

>>76872459
but jon can't roid now!

>>76872459
imagine getting hit 126 times by jon in a time span of 25 minutes

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Name a current UFC fighter who is not cheating.

>DC bruises his pussy and pulls out
>Bones literally kills someone while he pulls out of his parking spot

pick 1

>>76872614
yancy medeiros

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>>76872614

>>76871593

I was really looking forward to Choi-Fili

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>>76872614

>>76872647
is that chelsea manning? also mullet-vitor

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>>76872614
Mark Hunt

>>76872614
Yoel Soldier of God Romero

>>76870226
What's the original?

The second UFC card this month will be good, too bad it will have like 3 cancelled fights.

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>cage rust is real
>DC taps Jones in R2

lads real talk i matched with a girl who looks like colbey northcutt

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I'm 6'7", 295 lbs, sub 10% bf, trained boxing for 17 years (4 times golden gloves winner), wrestling for 15 years (multiple time all-American), BJJ for 14 years (3rd dan black belt), and 10 years muay thai.

How does it feel to know that no matter who you are or what your training is, you would stand absolutely no chance against me in a fight, whether it's in the cage or in the street?

>>76872786
>golden gloves

>>76872760
Does she have micrcephaly?

>>76872721
>guy said something mean to a girl

I think

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>>76872519
jon jones can be a elite fighter, but he don't have KO power, i prefer being hit by jon 126 than by cormier or amost any 205.

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>>76872614

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>>76872868
Cormier doesn't have much KO power either

>>76872786
Is Kerr a quadroon?

>>76872868
yeah but take rumble for example, i'm a 170lb skinny-fat body type dude
rumble would just put me to sleep in one punch and then after i wake up i'd be on meds already so all's good
but with jon, i'd die from his elbows before i got knocked out probably

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>>76872786
*unsheaths gun*

pshh... who stands no chance now.....

>>76872940
youjustknow.png

>>76873025
did your dad buy you a gun?

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>>76873047
i bought myself a gun
i make 6 figures and own a successful HVAC company
not all of us are pathetic losers like ypu bud lmao

>>76872211
chris benoit style

>>76873084

Sure ya do bud

>>76872975
i think i prefer to suffer from cuts and bruises than from pure concussion, getting hit in the head is not good, but a "pure KO" like rumble does can fuck up your head easily.

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Who's this guy Gabe Cash? lol https://youtu.be/w71Onm01Hn0

>>76873153
sounds fat af

>>76873153
lmao that was funny
but goober is still going to destroy mayweather

does the mcgregor ppv really cost $100?

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Fuck you bitches

Yoel will defeat Whittaker

Every fight you say Yoel can't. Fuck you. You just don't see it. Go back watching anime inbreds.

>>76873260
>dark eyes
disgusting

>>76873260
Will you disappear like "I will namefag until Jacare gets a titleshot" did if yoel gets flushed ?

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This dude called me a liar but it's true

>>76873291
LOL what happened to that dork

>Been training for 18 years
>Can literally beat the fuck out of any of you

Any questions for an actual fighter?

>>76873378
Yeah, why do you sound like a nerd?

>>76873291
I don't even know why I am here in the first place.

This shit is not comfy anymore. You must be a bitch cuck to put up with multiple autistic screeching everyday. And even if sometimes there are hours without em, like now, you still gamble everytime to see some sick in the head dude posting autistic crap. Like why would you do that. Why post crap like that. It ruins the mood and I am abanding a place where the parasites can't be killed.

>>76873193
>>76873207
lmao that Gabe Cash is money https://youtu.be/87RnpA_Tp4Y

>>76873325

Took off his trip out of shame. He still posts here though.

>>76873408

Cool, see you tomorrow.

>>76873446
Who does he bandwagon now?

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For me, it's Agnieszka.

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>Luke Rockhold is a homose-

>>76873455

No clue, I just recall him confirming that he was still here but was deeply embarrassed after the fight.

>>76872786
we really need fighters in speedos back in the ufc

Who agrees?

>>76873475
that looks like a good way to get testicular cancer

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dat nub

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>>76873475
He's obviously looking at gay porn on his phone

>>76873467
tatted up 22 year old single mom

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Walk in, see this, what do?

>>76873559
Force feed him steak until he's a HW

>>76873559
stab him leave and listen to kids talk about jesus

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>>76873600
>calling the cops
statists

>>76873088
>ESPN 30 For 30 ...Beyond The Beach. Ronda Rousey trailer
>James Blunt No Bravery playing the background
>(Scott Coker)... I saw this young pretty girl. And man could she fight .She's awesome. She's gonna be something.
>(tv clip of Dana White on CNN). This bitch was a monster. She was never my friend. She had like one fight here.
> Brothers lie in shallow graves,Fathers lost without a trace
>(news) Former UFC Champion Ronda Rousey has been found dead along with her husband Travis Rousey and her husbands sons
>(police) we're fairly confident this was a murder suicide
>(Cain Velasquez) Ronda sent me a text they day before. It said "Cain. Marina,Shayna and Duke are in the enclosed pool area"
>"we found Mrs.Rousey with alcohol,prescriptions pills"
>(Mike Dolce) Rousey had CTE,Holly and Nunes really fucked her up. With the weight cuts it really hurt her brain fluid. Trust me I've done the research
>Joe Rogan. Yeah I've heard the theory that Schaub did it...
>Schaub. For sure my guy everyone knew she beat Travis.
>Police: She was found with a karate belt around her neck

>>76873506
This is the ideal male body.

>>76873467
Porto was robbed

>>76873600
if someone grabs my ass is it legal to drag them and put choke them?

>>76873600
Wait what about proportional response? A professional fighter uses a headlock on a man for touching her? Why did she not restrain herself and let the authorities handle it?

>>76873577
So, no steak?

Some brit keeps pretending to be me and sperg op finally got out the kitchen and is pretending to argue with me

>>76873677
ya i don't know the context but if it was just some drunk retard at a club how is she allowed to do that and even take a picture of him lol

>>76873677

For sure the kid should talk to a lawyer about a civil suit.

>>76873719
shut up before i have your jaw wired shut

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>>76873756

>>76873774
mario is the goat ref

>>76873600
GIRL POWER

btw is he CIA?

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Post something more satisfying than this happening to ugly Joanna.

Overeem beats Werdum. Likely?

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>>76873630

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Fuck lads, I thought TUF finale was tonight. There goes my evening

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>He rates Jose Waldo

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>>76873936

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>>76873996
>it was just an accident
>in my mind I never stopped being a champion
>famous burger lmao
>Aldo by submission, he submitted many high level black belts in practice

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>>76873936
Part 1

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>>76873936
>Its the buthurtt clawja poster
Still mad because your girl will always be number 2?

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>>76873936
Part 2

>>76873954
Yes the 2nd time they fought it was an embarrassment.

>>76874028
how is he so good

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>tfw no Miesha gf

>>76871605
Im still not sure. They announced the Choi injury almost a month ago yet they haven't even removed him from the card. The injury might not be a severe as people thought and the fight might still be on.

>>76874028
pretty obvious aldo took a dive no one hits that hard

>>76874055
did they score that as a strike for artem? because that looked like it hurt cub more than it did artem

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>tfw your waifu will retire undefeated

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Fugg lads the stockholm code is no longer working

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>>76873996
F

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>>76874158
>SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE
>Welcome to the Blessed era

Max is so ugly in a funny way. Tony is ugliness is creepy on the other hand, he looks like he rapes children or something

>>76873509
kek

>>76873600
didn't give you permission to post this pic of me delet

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Nate Diaz is extremely overrated. Nick is the better of the two but is irrelevant now because he doesn't give a fuck about fighting anymore.

The biggest fight of the month is on ESPN tonight? Or will you guys not watch it because it isn't barbaric enough for you?

>>76874258
the only people who rate them are casuals, they are good one dimensional strikers who are good off their back which doesn't really count for anything anymore. Even strikeforce nick diaz was a sham since he got raped by wrestlers even though he was one of the best strikers around.

>>76874089
aldo is literally charging forward into it

he's doing an Michael Jackson body lean before he gets gadooshed

https://twitter.com/knockoutxo/status/881070792959598592

its real

>>76874295
literally who the fuck is this

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>>76874258
Rory really suplexed Nate out of welterweight that night

>>76874319
>rory will never be a big baller like conor

feels bad mayne

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>>76874319
tfw you will never have a loyal friendo like artem

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>>76870699
>>76870743
>giving a fuck about rappers

>>76870699
cant believe plebs who rate snoop DOG post on my general, go kys

>>76873600
Is that supposed to be someone important? This is why every guy needs basic submission defense. He would have been able to secure a few more ass grabs and take the round if he worked his escapes desu

>>76874283
Nick had some excellent fights though, and was extremely entertaining. Nate choking the potato just shows how breakable Conor is.
>>76874319
Rory is scary

reminder that Conor made a Diaz brother gas

>>76874485
No he didnt

>>76874301
invicta flyweight

What the heck is wrong with Fraudor cucks? It's well known knowledge he didn't want the Reem fight in Strikeforce. He also refused to fight Actual Camp Vitor in Afflicition and only took on Dan and Matt Lindland because they were MW's.

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>>76873669
Nope

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>>76874546
Forgot pic.

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>>76874546
>>76874573
1. Wanted Overeem to do USADA because it was obvious he was on loads of roids, Overeem didn't want to do it.
2. Had no reason to accept a last-minute opponent when he'd been preparing for Barnett for months.
3. Henderson fight was at HW.
4. Lindland stepped in a few weeks out when Jeff Monson got injured.
Hope that clears everything up.

>>76874589
Goldie looks like he was shopped into that photo

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>>76874458
>Nate choking the potato just shows how breakable Conor is.
Conor was always breakable when it comes to subs.

Here's an interview that Conor did in 2015.

>The last time he lost a fight, the sixth bout of his career, back in 2010, it was in thirty-eight seconds, and it was to a choke. He was so averse to the sensation, he tapped out before he lost consciousness, one of the great regrets of his life. "That ate me alive," he says. "After that, I said I was going to fight to the death. You're going to have to kill me."

Then he fights Nate and taps in 2 seconds while female fighters that weigh less than him fought off chokes for longer.

melendez is coming back

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holy fuck Canada Day is so annoying lads

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>>76874319
>artem will never be your friend

>>76874753
do you eat Poutine

>>76874879
I have but its not really a big deal on the west coast

Why is BJJ so expensive?

>>76874753

I've been bored sick all day. Maybe it would be different if they'd put any effort into making the 150th special, but as it is all they're doing is circlejerking about diversity and shit as normal, and towing a giant rubber duck into Toronto because they had to find a new way to waste our tax money.

I'll watch the fireworks, but that's as celebratory as I'm getting.

>>76874897
sounds disgusting, did you enjoy it?

Literally nothing good tonight. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

>>76874951
supply and demand
how much would it cost you ?

>>76875050
fightpass 24/7 stream

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Are commies elite

>>76874988
Authentic poutine is really good, I was in Montreal for a while, its good trust me. Getting poutine from Dairy Queen is not the same experience

>>76875051
Back 2 the discord lad

>>76875081
Well that's a swede so no

Sitting on the train right now on my way downtown for a little get-together at a friend's. Fat drunk group of middled age men a cople seats behind me getting progressively drunker and louder. Extremely fat, terrible-smelling black guy in the seat in front of me. No qts in sight.

Just fucking HEEM ME AAAHHHHHHH

>>76875175
At least you have friends...

>>76875175
take a pic nigger

>>76875050
Watch the Pacquiao fight

>>76875222
>fightpass 24/7 stream
stream fo taht?

>>76875163
stop forcing your "meme"

>>76875062
>back to back episodes of looking for a fight

no thanks. waiting for lesnar/mir 2 at 9:11

>>76875278
Bye bye mr lister

>>76875270
It's on ESPN if I'm deciphering your post correctly

>>76875175
you're supposed to heem them bro

I bet /heem/ was claiming Cain could heem klitschko in a boxing match back in 2011 like the goofs you are

>>76875370
No, I highly doubt anyone said this.

>>76875393
Proof?

>>76875370
/Heem/ didn't exist in 2011 you mong

>>76875418
I was a big fan of MMA and posted on the UG + Sherdog in 2011 and I don't recall anyone ever saying Cain would win a boxing match against Klitschko

>>76875370
what were you doing in 2011? probably in grade 7

>>76875163
gimme a link

in 2011 i said that cain would win in a boxing match, everyone here btfo

>>76875607
proof

It's weekend, where are the fights?

>>76875615
my word is proof, i got drunk at the applebees bar and said it to the bartender. Sorry you look like an idiot now.

>>76875690
Damn, you won this time..... BUT KEEP YOUR HEAD ON A SWIVEL AROUND ME BECAUSE I'M CRAAAAAAAZY!

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>If i KO you Floyd will you die?

>>76875787
Looks big

>>76876169
nice pusy

>>76873774
That's a pretty bad stoppage, maybe Dana's right to call him Mario Mazzagati

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What will Conair wear to the press conferences

>>76876481
Like a rainbow poncho or some shit

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>>76876481
>that guy behind conor

>>76874485
no

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>>76876169
>screenshot of a picture

remember when people thought dustin porier would derail conors hype train?

>>76874389
>>76874369
grow up

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*GADOOOSH*

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>>76876866
Daily reminder you're a casual.

>>76876169
fake r-right?

>>76876658
Easier to do on a phone

I could heem anyone in this thread so cut the shit

>>76876866
>>76876874
literally the same person, if not two incredibly pathetic losers

>>76877026
Just one incredibly pathetic loser that photoshops babies.

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Jouban v Niko Price in Mexico City

Decent fight

>>76877142

Niko "weed" Price

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>>76877427
>""""coral springs""""" is the biggest autist in the world
That would be you, spamming gay porn and gore on an MMA general every day for months.

Fags

Why is /heem/ so gay? /box/ will always be superior to your gay general and sport lmoa

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>>76877489
Just get home from a boyscout camping trip? Parents asleep now you can use the computer all by yourself?

mma is literally for battyboys

queers

Omg this epic raid!!!
We are getting TROLLD so hard XD

dont know why you'd ever want to fight in mexico city t.b.h.

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>>76877474
certainly no surprise to see you scrutinizing the gay spammers posts

It would honestly be less gay if there were penetration

hello benders I heard this is the general for hunky men going at each other

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wat r u fags doin here

You guys are fags.

>>76877631
t. gay homo faggot

>>76877631
t. Fag

We are being raided by /box/. How pathetic.

The spammer made this post and they all listened like little lap dogs.

>>76877535

>people actually obey what a spammer says in their thread

pathetic

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>>76877692
They must really love their mum

>>76877644
post the webm pls

>>76877698
I don't want my mom to die, nothing personnel

>>76877692
>>76877698
lmao bootyblasted gay fags btfo

>>76877739
Is this how you compensate for your dying sport? MMA's own Conor McGregor had to jump ship just to get normies to talk about your dying sport.

>>76870196
>>tfw no fights this weekend
Being this needy

>>76877752
Gayweather will always be more relevant than any MMgAy fighter ever despite being a cancerous piece of shit

>>76877752
Your biggest star literally had to swap sports to get paid.

He's going to take a whooping for a paycheck because mma pays absolute fucking peanuts lmao

i thought you faggots said VPN's were autobans

>>76877772
Pancrase in 3.5 hours

>>76877427
Bottom looks kind of like Affleck.

>>76877809
boxing pays peanuts unless you are one of like 4 guys

really makes you think
>>76877784

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>>76877866
oh for sure gunna watch that my guy 100%