/beschissen/

*pruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts*

good midday /beschissen/

>serge gnabry

gnabry more like gaybry amirite

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>Die Deutsche Fußball Liga (DFL) hat den neuen Spielplan für die kommende Bundesliga-Saison veröffentlicht. Das Auftaktspiel gebührt traditionell dem Meister. Der FC Bayern empfängt am 18. August Bayer Leverkusen – ein Knall-Start in die neue Spielzeit!

>>76829280
>Rheinderby at the first matchday
Is there any reason for it?

>>76829235
Looks like Sanchez is legit not coming.

Fuck Hoenes you motherfucker go back to jail.

>>76829247
hello

>>76829262
>>76829277
yes

>>76829280
So Leverkusen will remain in the relegation zone for the entire season?

That'd be fantastic!

>>76829280
>ein Knall-Start
/beschissen/ memes are slowly transcending into mainstream media again

>>76829280
going to watch Schalke - Leipzig desu

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Hoeneß is actually right in his approach here.
Sadly, I doubt Ancelotti is the right man for that job.

>>76829334
just get van gaal back

>>76829339
I'd actually love this.
Sadly (yet again), most of my fellow customers would not be in favour of that, so it won't ever happen...

is this bundes

>>76829334
Tuchel in Ancelotti out. Yes please. Then we would also have a chance to sign Dembele.

>>76829334
They say this all the time, but in reality the club has been shit at devoloping talents for quite some time now.

>>76829334
nah it's just Stammtisch Parolen for the customers. Uli knows that you're not going to win the CL with 20 year old's and that good players don't want to warm the bench in the league for some youth shitters.

>Granaten? Uli verteiligt Transferpolitik

>Uli Hoeneß ist mit der Transferphase des FC Bayern sehr zufrieden. Der Präsident des deutschen Rekordmeisters sagt Alexis Sanchez vom FC Arsenal ab.

>"Das ist doch keine Politik", sagte Hoeneß im kicker. Der Bayern-Macher sah sich zuletzt aufgrund seiner Transfers in der Kritik und erklärte nun: "Was bis jetzt gemacht wurde, hat meine volle Unterstützung, es ist absolut zufriedenstellend. Das hat alles Hand und Fuß."

>Die bisherigen Neuzugänge Niklas Süle, Sebastian Rudy (beide Hoffenheim), Serge Gnabry (Bremen) und Corentin Tolisso (Lyon) seien "Spieler mit großer Perspektive für die Zukunft". Für Uli ist klar, wohin der Weg gehen soll.

>"Entweder wir gehen diesen Weg mit all diesen jungen Leuten, und dann müssen sie eine Chance haben zu spielen -oder wir gehen diesen Weg nicht", stellte der Präsident klar. Platz für einen Spieler wie den lange gehandelten Alexis Sanchez sei auf diesem Weg nicht vorhanden.

>Hoeneß erklärte: "Wir reden alle von einem Neuaufbau und dass die Zukunft des FC Bayern München gestaltet werden müsse - und dann macht das der FC Bayern, holt junge Spieler im Alter zwischen 20 und 22 Jahren, und es gibt auch wieder Kritik."

>Dementsprechend muss Sanchez sich wohl einen anderen Abnehmer suchen: "Aber einen Neuaufbau kann man nicht machen, indem man 100-Mio-Transfers für 29- und 30-Jährige durchzieht." Neben der Ablöse hatte der Chilene wohl auch ein enormes Gehalt gefordert.

>Von den viel zitierten Granaten will Hoeneß nichts wissen: "Ich habe gesagt, wenn wir diese Mannschaft verstärken wollen, müssen wir Granaten kaufen. Und solche zu kriegen, ist schwer genug. Es war in keiner Weise eine Aussage, dass wir das tun werden."

>"Real Madrid wurde in der vergangenen Saison verdient Champions-League-Sieger, aber gegen welchen Gegner war diese Mannschaft richtig unter Druck? Gegen uns". Bisher investierten die Bayern rund 70 Mio. Euro in vier Neuzugänge. Altersschnitt: 22,4.

>>76829363
shareholders and the rest of the league would be seething.

>>76829372
>Sebastian Rudy
>"Spieler mit großer Perspektive für die Zukunft"
I think Uli lost it. Guereirro and Dembele are promising young players, Gnabry is not.

>"Real Madrid wurde in der vergangenen Saison verdient Champions-League-Sieger, aber gegen welchen Gegner war diese Mannschaft richtig unter Druck? Gegen uns".
okay he's lost it

>>76829372
>wenn wir diese Mannschaft verstärken wollen, müssen wir Granaten kaufen
>Es war in keiner Weise eine Aussage, dass wir das tun werden
so basically he doesn't even want to improve the squad while losing Alonso and Lahm and relying on 34 year old wingers.

>>76829235

>Uli Hoeness wants R.Sanches to stay one more season at Bayern

Yeah, that bench aint gonna warm itself.

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>>76829372
>"W-We didn't wanted him anyway"

>>76829372
>"Real Madrid wurde in der vergangenen Saison verdient Champions-League-Sieger, aber gegen welchen Gegner war diese Mannschaft richtig unter Druck? Gegen uns"

that daily cock sucking in jail has made him braindead

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>>76829372

>Der Präsident des deutschen Rekordmeisters sagt Alexis Sanchez vom FC Arsenal ab.

*inhales*
*breathes in*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Way to save face my fat little sausage.

>>76829473

Yeah, pretty sure there was one team, which didnt lose to Real.

>>76829485

i love these two sleazy, slimy assholes. truly the duo that saved the bundesliga.

>>76829473
Bayern was dominating as long as it was 11 vs 11. Sure its our own fault that we got 2 reds but 11 vs 11 we were the better team.

>>76829550

Bosz is sleazy and slimy?

autosaged again

>>76829601
Yea

>>76829613
Yeah, /beschissen/ and/or Kalli meme pictures really shouldn't be used in the op.

>>76829601

i would say so, yes. once he gets some victories he will become anti-tuchel.

ugh

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>>76829573
Youre probably baiting, but just in case youre that autistic customer.

Bayern got exposed by Real in both games.

>>76829628
buyern had more posession, therefore outplaying real
duh

>>76829611
>>76829628
i don't get it

So is Tuchel going to coach a new team next season or is he taking a sabatical again?

>>76829635
>>76829633

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6uYFDYlNmY

Not even going to get into the whole "Bayern cant score a goal out of play", but Real outplayed Bayern on every level.

Outclassed and outplayed in both games.

>>76829611
Dude, there is more than "that one autistic customer" frequenting these threads.

Also, you're way more autistic than we will ever be. Your Doofmund obsession is disturbingly doof.

Also, Dirtmund faced Real in the group stages; they would have been torn apart by them in the knockout rounds.

>>76829661
Now meant for >>76829628

>>76829628
you should look at the data when it was 11vs11 mate.

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>Aber einen Neuaufbau kann man nicht machen, indem man 100-Millionen-Transfers für 29- und 30-Jährige durchzieht

DER HAT UNS ALLE BESCHISSEN DER ULI

>>76829661

Coulda woulda shoulda.

Bayern got ripped apart, Dortmund didnt.

>>76829669

Or you can just look at the full game, or extended highlights and realise that youre wrong. Furthermore, Bayern lost 4-2 out of which 1 was a penalty goal and 1 own goal. Bayern didnt even score a goal out of play and youre claiming that they didnt get ripped apart?

Get real kiddo.

good thread

>>76829637
>rejected Lelverkusen
>rejected Schalke
>rejected mediocre EPL clubs

This leaves no team in Germany to coach besides Bayern. In the EPL he seems to be eyeing on a top club as well. Let's see how this works out.

Just go to Mexico vs German prematch threafs after this is kill u ninnies

>>76829689
1 penalty goal? yeah, you really watched those games havent you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T97p87bmYoY

As long as it was 11 vs 11 Bayern was at least equal, denying it makes no sense.

>>76829714

Hes gonna wait for Ancelotti to get fired in 2018. This was clear since Bayern wanted Tuchel as the Poop replacement.

>>76829716
"Die Manschafft© " matchthreads are pure cancer though.

>>76829717

Im posted the video to the 4-2 mate. Obviously Im talking about the 2nd leg, which was the one that got Bayern kicked out.

The first leg was even better, since Bayern missed a refballed penalty.

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>VfB Stuttgart interested in A. Donis
>A. Donis

>>76829725
So he is doing a Bavaria Munich himself?

>>76829735
austrian piece of shit stay away from /bundes/

>>76829738
hehe

>>76829748

This isnt /Bundes/ kiddo.

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>>76829738

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>tfw when Pruttgart blows up their wage bill, gets relegated next season again and does a 1860

>autosage
this is why /beschissen/ will never reach the quality of /Granate/

>>76829796

Theyre getting payrolled by MBenz.

>>76829806
Last /granate/ thread got autosaged too.

>>76829816
damn shame, looks like we need a new password

>>76829827
Turkish superliga

>>76829827
what about /bundes/

time for /bundescric/

>>76829854
no

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yes

>>76829854
>>76829900
kys

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>i don't rate /bundescric/

>>76829854
I'd rather /bunnis/ than /bundescric/

>>76829854
>>76829900
>>76829932
See >>76829916

>>76830003
see >>76829932

>>76829432
this.

Uli is beyond saving.
As long as his >Festgeldkonto is growing, everthing is fine!

man kann nur hoffen das lewy, thiago, neuer, boateng, alaba und hummels unserer inkompetenten führung die pistole auf die brust setzen und druck ausüben. wenn es bei dem kader -costa bleibt steht der verein auf desasterkurs und die topspieler werden ihre prime nicht hier versauern wollen. dann können unseren verein in eine bank umwandeln, scheint der plan des trojanischen hoeness und dem finanzamt münchen zu sein ...

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Jennifer Cramer extends her contract at Potsdam until 2018.

>>76829717
D E L U D E D
E
L
U
D
E
D

>>76830050
TALENTSCHMIEDE FC BUYERN

>>76829748
this is the /Granate/ general

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Granate incoming

>>76830138
who? which position

>>76830210
>you have to google the names of Granaten because you heard them just once or twice and never paid attention

What a time to be alive.

>>76830138
>Kevin

suits bayern perfectly

>>76829806
>tfw got banned last night for posting in /beschissen/ while at the same time pornthreads stayed up

>>76830210
Jean-Kévin Augustin, French U21 player... forward... rumored to join BVB

>>76830241
>""""""""french"""""""""

>>76830071
screw you and your stupid text you stole from transfermarkt

>>76830138

Rumored to join BVB actually.

*respectfully dabs into the thread*

>>76830241
>>76830319
rumored to join BVB? thats enough to put him on messi level

>>76830289
Rude

>>76830336
correction: he's Granaten level

>nigger
>rumored to join bvb
yes

yes that makes sense

>>76830368
he's pacy too!

I have a feeling that this coming season will be the memeiest season in a long time.

Bayern will sperg out every time they slip (and they will slip alot this season). Bosz and Dortmund are a wildcard. /Energy/ is the same team as last season with some added quality. Schalke is going to fight for existence. HIV aswell, Leverkusen is collapsing. Meanwhile Köln, Hoppenheim and maybe even Hertha will challenge the top 3.

I cant wait.

>>76830387
Actually a good thing. The ones that were built like a fridge at age 14 are the frauds.

>>76830050
his father was shit too, gypsy family basically

>Köln or Hertha challenging the top three
KEK

Also, there is no way we will slip.

>"Also, there is no way we will slip."
>*proceeds to slip both literally and figuratively*

>Ribery and Robben get injured
>this is Bayern

---------Lewandowski---------
---Costa----Thiago---Coman--
-------Rudy------Tolisso/Vidal---
Alaba---Boateng--Hummels--Alaba
----------Neuer------

Just give us the CL already.

Yeah, by far the best team in the Bundes. You normally don't have to be a consumer to realize this.

>>76830583

Pretty sure thats the best team in Europe too.

>Alana is so good he can play on both sides at the same time

Bosz is gonna flop horribly

No, they aren't. But you can't honestly believe, that there is a better Bundesliga team than that?

>>76830575
- Costa has gone shit
- KOman is meeeh
- Rudy proves his class at the Confetti Cup... NOT
- Tolisso is a Wundertüte
- Thiago becomes a ghost in big games
- Vidal gets send off
- Alaba exists only once (unless you want to field his sister)... also played a bad season last year

>>76830709
what about search granabry?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WM_FA0iD24

the titan himself about the state of granaten

>>76830598
Could for Dortmund that Buyern's choke will draw the public attention away from it.

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Do you guys rate this Jamaican lad?

>>76830793
>getting harder for Bayern to buy these players

Oli pls... Bayern never got these players

hallo und guten morgen!

Good luck against us tonight lads. May our best team win

>FC Retirement Home about to implode
>Borscht flopping
>Hoppenheim selling all their Granaten to Bayern's bench
RBL will win the easiest league title of the millennium next season.

Brandt is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ugly

Wow that was a nice nap.

>>76830793

The only granaten Bayern has ever gotten are:

>Neuer
>Lewandowski
>arguably Götze
>Thiago

>>76831541
good

>>76831541
so basically unless the bundes makes a player great or Bayern have a spanish coach that can attract foregin stars, Bayern is not going to sign good players.

Andre Hahn joins HSV

>>76831714
I can't tell for whom this move is worse

>>76831641

Pretty much.

Also, I forgot Martinez. Hes actually quite the grenade.

when the fuck did Vestergaard to Gladmong happen?

>Das hat alles Hand und Fuß. Süle, Rudy, Gnabry, Tolisso sind Spieler mit großer Perspektive für die Zukunft.

Which club doesn't offer players with great perspective 3 year contracts...

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>>76831743
>76829235
last summer transfer window.

>>76831793
wouldn't be surprised if they loan Gnabry to some midtable team and then sell him next year for 10m or so. guy is so fucking overrated, not even Max Meyer tier.

Gnabry shot us to the final in Rio. I think it's very noble from Bayern to give one of our Olympic heroes an opportunity at the highest level.
Dortmund and Leipzig would rather buy some overrated French kid.

time for work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLMUhXch1l4

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i forgot to post the pic from that youth tournament i attended. i think this was HIV vs midtylland

>b-but but he won us a Kirmesveranstaltung
UGH

>non-stop rain since noon
ugh

>autistic comments without quotes
ugh

>hating rain

megapleb desu

>>76832210
Berliner detected!

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Is he the one to restore balance to the Bundes?

>>76832272
no, kyouko is

>>76832307

Kyouko died from Aids.

>>76832315
very nice

>>76832315
proof?

Good afternoon!

Tits on ARD

>>76832478
Post proof before 404.

>>76831025
gtfo out my county you subhuman nigger

>>76832514

That weird ginger Russian skank.

KEK THOSE HORN TATTOOS

>>76832583
>>76832639
PICS, I wanna see this skank

>>76832656

https://www.instagram.com/palinski/?hl=en

She just ran around Sochi showing the city etc., before the game.

>>76832698
the should be showing something else if you know what I'm trying to say

>>76832698
>that one pic where if you squint it looks like shes pregnant and holding her belly
kek

>>76832746
UGH

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ugh, she got her tits removed

>>76832746
HNNNGGGGG

see you later /beschissen/, can I expect an undercover /beschissen/ or do we use a match thread?

>>76830809
>>76830809


HERE WE GO