/heem/ - No Dweebazoids Allowed Edition

Does anyone else get second hand brain damage watching mma fighters doing the boxing guard and bobbing and weaving with 4oz gloves?

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This is the thread.

>>76511439
They have to be wary of takedowns

Yeah this is the thread.

Fuck you WMMA fags

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This here is the bread

So nice to see the spammer get BTFO in his poor attempt at making our threads

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>>76511507

Is Carlose Conduit a meme fighter?

>>76511517
No, Carlitos Condit is however

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It's all good guys

calendarnigger blown the fuck out

>>76511468
*shoots for a single leg*

I SEE YU SUN BOI

>>76511548
There's mandrama tonight right? Why don't you go hang out with the rest of the misfits on /asp/?

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Who's your favorite fighter girl?

Didn't Chad Mendes and Carlos Condit basically retire?

>>76511574
>>76511548
what did you mean by deleting that post

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Who is your 2nd favorite female fighter?

>>76511574
>We're almost there.
What did he mean by this?

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>>76511593
>>76511604
Favorite female fight?

so many filtered posts what the HELL is going on in the octagon!

>>76511583
Chad is suspended

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>>76511597
Actually I've never thought about that my man. If only there was a female Schaub.

>>76511617
Turbosperg is seething no one used his thread

>>76511617
Youre just virtue signaling that youre an aspie that we need to be patient with

>>76511582
Mackenzie

>>76511619
Yeah I know but didn't he basically say he was gonna retire and focus on his celebrity hunting business? Condit also said his heart wasn't in it any more

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remember that time this guy submitted 41 picks and got every single one wrong with the majority being first round hirota goofs?

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>>76511649

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>>76511647
For me it's Thicckenzie

>>76511648
Well he can't fight for one more year so he has to find something else to do.

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>tfw this weekends card starts at 4:30 AM

I'm not even that mad at it

>>76511680
That's when all S. Korea cards always start casual.

>>76511659
do you have the webm where shes in the pool

>>76511649
Please delete my picks from this. Mine are the first ones on there. I'm not the spammer and don't want to be associated with him. Thanks bro

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>>76511701
The card is in Singapore

>>76511708
calendarnigger is a retard that cant read filenames

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How about dat Cutelaba completely emasculating Frankenstein?

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>>76511704
no, but I made dis

>>76511734
Tbf the spammer is intentionally trying to pose as me. I just think it should be clear at this point that those picks are mine and not the spammer as I bringing it up. I understand how it can be generally hard to differentiate but it shouldn't be in specific instances like this one. Schaub bless.

>>76511750
>>76511734
>>76511708
>>76511723

This is what dementia looks like

>>76511756
Seriously

does the spammer think we are all retarded?

>>76511680
>Holm gets ko'd
>Goes from the undefeated champ to 0-4
>Gets cut

Was USADA a mistake?

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>>76511756
>>76511766
I think you would be surprised.

>>76511771
>Bethe
>KO'ing anyone

Casuals were a mistake

>>76511786
It would be a hilariously sad end to her career

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>>76511786

>>76511771
>Gets cut
whoa whoa whoa

she got cut? wtf

>>76511806
If Holly can't finish Bethe inside 5 rounds she should just retire.
>>76511813
That's a TKO

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>>76511874

>>76511852
She will if she loses against Betch-ey. That will be 0-4 in her last outings

Can Betch pull off the slick sub on Holly in this epic battle of the bundas?

>>76511890
>Bethe's only losses were against Ronda and a split against Raquel
People like to look down on her but she grinds out results.

>>76511918
>germaine

>>76511890
looks like a.....

>>76511892
that germaine de randamie fight was some hot bullshit though. technically she lost, but that should've been a draw or majority draw. ref was a dumbass.

i don't see bethe having a chance. i mean, she got tko'd by honda.

>>76511937
What about her?

>>76511926
Is that Gomi? The madman.

>>76511968
yep gomi fought at heavyweight one time even though he weighed 150lbs

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>>76511659
aww yiss. face is only a slight turnoff, but more than acceptable. muhdick-tier body.

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TELL HOLLY IM CUMMING

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>>76511659
is she the new miesha?

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Imagine this picture actually rising your blood pressure.

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>>76511968
cheeky

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>>76512004

>>76512037
mckenzie is naturally thicc miesha has fake tits

if anything miesha copied her

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>>76512037
If you mean that both are uglycute - yes, but Dern's tits are natural

Does anybody have a webm of the Kimbo vs Dada """""finish""""?

Miesha was genetically modified to be perfect breeding material

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>>76512075

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>>76512091

>>76512080
>>76512080
good decision lad

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we /thickenzie/ posting now?

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>>76512045

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>>76512132

>>76512080
>>76512120
samefag

what would your reason be for filtering me. Im unironicly the best poster here. No pretending 2b toughguy posts, objective discussions and no biased fanboying. What is there more to want

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>>76512064

>>76512157
I'm finna swang n bang on you're face

>>76512146
how much do you bench ? you looking like a chick, biggest dork in heem

>>76512146
calendarnigger just wants attention

>>76512157
The most impressive part of this webm is his gf calling for the elbow

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>>76512140

Someone post baby_cynthia.jpg. I wanna see this autist squirm

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>>76512174
I used to be amazed that you could read that from her lips and then after rewatching the fight I've heard her yelling elbow and I was no longer impressed with your performance

>>76512157
>I'm a blue belt in jiu-jitsu but I'm a black belt with these hands

What did Mike Perry mean by this?

>>76512201
He's a practitioner of the swang n bang

>>76512091
Nice hat

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>>76512201
>shout out Nashville, thank you JEEE-SUSS

who was the commentator for that fight, the one who yells holy smokes when heem of the year happens ? That guy was good, should be on more cards

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Favorite analyst?

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>>76512222
These guys.

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>>76512231
you coming big boy? post the radius on a map. i wanna laff

>>76512231
Post the evidence. I need to know it's him for sure so we can act accordingly.

>>76512222
Tough call between Chael, Bisping and Rutten.
I'm inclined to pick Sonnen because he's always wrong but his reasoning is sound

>>76512437
implying you arent calendarnigger

Its well known that the spammer calls himself out to such a degree that he has multiple posts repltying to himself

>>76512258
>I'm inclined to pick Sonnen because he's always wrong but his reasoning is sound

oh boy, I guess you haven't listened to this yet

https://youtu.be/09yygRCJGak?t=14m20s
https://youtu.be/09yygRCJGak?t=14m20s
https://youtu.be/09yygRCJGak?t=14m20s

14:20 if the timestamp doesn't work

>>76512462
Ngannou has been talking a lot of shit. He should have stayed as the friendly African giant.

He needs a good heeming to humble him a bit

Who is the worst athlete to headline an event?

>>76512519
Artem Lobov

>>76512487
>https://youtu.be/09yygRCJGak?t=14m20s
Lel I listened to this at work today and was surprised that this Douglas guy didn't call Chael out on his Lelator shilling bullshit. He is such a natural snake oil salesman, I even enjoy commercials on his channel

>>76512544
yeah Chael is really charismatic. I'm pretty sure Crosby is his buddy like when they pretended to have an argument a couple of years ago on air.

>>76512570
Chael is a weird guy who lives his life like its mandrama and he also is supremely interested in the actual soap opera for manchildren, which is super bizzare considering he's an almost 40 year old successful man

Joe Hogan has said on his podcast that he's dogshit off his back. He's been doing BJJ for like 20 years how is that possible?

If you don't like working from the guard learn wrestling, nigga.

>>76512605
i guess he is shit in comparison to other blackbelts plus its not like he competes or anything

>>76511813
she literally is just letting her pound on her. That is beyond retarded.

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Did you hear? TAM gets all the best fighters.

anyone betting on bethe?

Marcin Tybura is free money against Arlorvski

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FUCK DANA WHITE

>>76512735
>not signing Paige's brother

>>76512735
where else are these guys supposed to find work?

>>76512748
UFC doesn't have ultra heavywright

>>76512777
he's probably jacked from all the prison workouts

>>76512777
quad sevens checked

>>76512735

>he's a sex offender so he should have no chance whatsoever in any career to be a somewhat productive member of society

probably got arrested for public urination lmao

>>76512831
are the laws as retarded there as they are here?

why even release these jackasses if their lives are going to be shit when they get out

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>>76512831
ummm try again sweetie :)

>>76511918
All the opponents she has beat have a combined record of like 2-8 in the UFC tho. You are a fagget

>>76512842
The laws are so bad here you get your mugshot in the paper before you're even convicted of anything, literally the day you're arrested.

>>76512174
white girls are the most ruthless, warmongering savages in existence

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>>76511499

Anybody got Gustafsson's webms? Extra points for others than the Glover fight.

>>76511499
that dude definitely compressed his spine and/or broke his neck

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Give me one good reason the heavyweight division shouldn't be closed.

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>>76512913
Here you go m8

>>76512919
Steven Sletten

>>76512681
Is that really you?

>>76512919
Because you're a bitch that no one should listen to

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>>76512919

>>76512934
Yes.

AMA

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>>76512927
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT HIM GETTING WRECKED

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>>76512913

>>76512937
gorillas are vegetarians right

>>76512963
That's a good one, thank you

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>>76512960

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>>76512936
I bet you are 230 10%bf right?

>>76512977
Beautiful, love how it includes the fail at the end.

>>76512983
255 here
gonna start juicing
as in buying a juicer
anyone else here do it unironically?

>>76512983
10 pounds 230% body fat actually

>>76512996
Just make smoothies. You can buy old blenders for way cheaper than most juicers. Smoothies also maintain the fiber which is vital in itself but holds onto many nutrients and prevents it from mainly just being slightly nutritious sugar water like juice is

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>>76512996
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BubWN2IVXgo

You do cake sandwiches too fatty ?

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>>76511918

Surviving that 3rd round against Marion was pretty great but really she's just the toughest female can in the world

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>>76513049

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>>76512175
>ywn have lengthy play-fight titty fondle sessions with mackenzie

>>76512842

No we don't have a "sexual offender" registry over here.
I can kinda see why you'd have i tho, with all the weirdos you got but it should be reserved for the most crazy bastards.

>>76512857

translated: had anal sex with his 15 year old gf when he was 16

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>>76512977

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>>76513185

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>>76513185

>>76513204
Nice

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>>76513206

>>76513171
it's shit like this that really rustles my jimmies. too lazy to look it up, but the two of them could literally be less than one year apart in age and the dude has to be treated like a fucking degenerate kiddie-piddling pervert for the rest of his life.

18+ having sex with a 15 y/o? yeah, that's creepy. but a 16 or 17 year old with a 15 year old? where's the massive gap in cognitive ability that separates perversion from kids fucking other kids?

>>76513230
Goobs angle doesn't fit tho

>>76513050
laid the punchline on too thick

still funny though

>>76513320
Mike Tyson's comedic delivery is impeccable, great show https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMhTkfiRDNw

Flabio Mabobabbo is best MMA boxer

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favorite heems? Personally I never get tired of seeing Pat get brain damaged

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Reminder

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>>76513605
Reminder

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>>76513585

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>>76513629

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>previous thread
>anon thinks frankie beats conor

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Post your boys.

Primary boys:

>Khabib Nurmagomedov
>David Teymur

Secondary boys:

>Dominick Cruz
>Jason Knight
>Jacare Souza
>Paulo Borrachinha
>Misha Cirkunov

Tertiary boys:

>Beneil Dariush
>Anthony Smith
>Kelvin Gastelum
>Islam Makhachev
>Brian Kelleher
>Colby Covington
>Stipe Miocic
>Mairbek Taisumov
>Jingliang Li
>Shane Burgos
>Demian Maia

Prospective boys:

>Zabit Magomedshapirov
>Vinc Pichel
>Jared Gordon
>Gavin Tucker

>>76513652
Look at his reaction, it's like he knew he wasn't supposed to win

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>>76513669

>>76513679
You're not allowed that many boys ur a fake fan

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>>76513679
points for Teymur

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>>76513679
>jason knight
>not primary boy

>having khabib as main boy instead

KILL YOU ARE SELF

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>>76513707
Teymur is underappreciated as a striker, overall fighter, and personality
I'm going to post my webms of him now

1/4

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>>76513683

>>76513680
i think you'll find it's actually that he was happy he'd achieved what he'd spent his life trying to do

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>>76513712

>>76513727
impressed the shit out of me in the Lando fight, needs to capitalize on that momentum and stay active

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>>76513707
>>76513727
2/4

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>>76513728

sage going to TAM is fucking perfect

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>>76513707
>>76513727
3/4

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>>76513751

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>>76513707
>>76513727
4/4

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>>76513771
kek

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>>76513771

I'm gonna miss dana when he's gone

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>>76513811

>>76513026
thanks but i'm not poor like you lol

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>>76513679
>primary
gooby
joanna
>secondary
barbosa
>muh dick tier
mackenzie
>kinda starting to like tier
rose

>>76513867
Post W2

>>76513913
No one here even knows what that is because they're all underaged or NEETs

>>76513867
just fat and dumb

>>76513891
that fucking disgusting nose

>>76514125

I wanna stick my dick up it

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Where will the BLACKED subscribers go when Tyron loses the belt and Ngannou gets exposed?

>>76514125
>implying you wouldn't

you gay bruh?

Does /sp/ have new banitors? i have all the header stuff/ads blocked are there really new mods?

Cant wait for Frankie to beat Max and then lose to Aldo a 3rd time

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*GADOOOSH*

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>>76514484
>>76514535

>>76512146
your posts always remind me how lonely this world can be

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>>76514241

>tfw as a filthy casual, you didn't realise UFC was on this weekend
>that crushing disappointment when after a quick scan of the bouts, Ryan Hall is yet again is absent from proceedings

What are UFC playing at?

>>76512462
lmao i hope derrick lewis stays active on twitter

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>>76514484
>>76514535
Chill.

>>76513587
for me it's watching frank mir get years shaved off his life

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>>76514669
>>76514575
stop doing Springspergs dirty work you fuckin zilchs

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>>76514606
SEETHING

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>>76514693
It's me goofball.

>>76514693
Clean your fingers before you talk about what is dirty.

>>76514645
Brian Stann was on the anik and florian podcast and said he talked to Lewis on the flight back from Australia and I said confident that he isn't actually retiring. Lewis said he wanted time of fun after the Browne fight then jumped back in too soon and was disappointed after losing to hunt. He will be back.

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>>76514700
dude you are slacking, you'll never break your record at this rate

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>>76514758
I know I responded pretty late, but lol you missed me.

>>76514761
>but lol you missed me.
no one misses you dude, that's why you're so lonely

>>76514793
I'm not even lonely though. /heem/ get new posts every minute to read.

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>>76513751
how is she ugly and cute all at the same time?

>>76514812

>ugly

breh

>>76512037
I wish I could unsee that tile

>>76514241
literally cringed

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>>76513679
Primary boys:
>connor macgregor
>demetrious johnson
>jon jones
>ronda rousey
>brock lesner
>CM punk

Waifu boy:
>sage northcutt

>>76514808
Based Springsbro leaving h8rs in shambles on the daily.

>>76513736
that fight was a fucking war. he wont fight until december most likely

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>>76514884
Bless. I try to help them, that's all.

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>>76514870

>Primary boys:
>>connor macgregor
>>demetrious johnson
>>jon jones
>>ronda rousey
>>brock lesner
>>CM punk

pretty solid boy list

>>76514820
thats what im saying. its confusing. i can see why people think she is ugly and also why she is heems secondary waifu

>>76514920
You are a beacon of light that causes the h8rs dark souls' to shrivel in your presence.

Where are the Irish posters!!!

>>76514972
in the /box/ thread, where they belong for the next 5 months

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uhm..?

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>SHUT UP BITCH *GADOOSH*

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>>76515221
What is wrong with you?

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>>76513679
Primary boy:
>DJ

Secondary boys:
>Dillashaw
>Cruz
>Joanna

Tertiary boys:
>Mike Perry
>Frankie PEDgar
>Demian Maia

Prospective boys:
>Gavin Tucker
>Francis Ngannou

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>>76515257

What would it take to get Perry on that coveted secondary boy list?

Andrei Arlovski +150
Marcin Tybura -190

Over 1.5 -140
Under 1.5 +100
-

Dong Hyun Kim +125
Colby Covington -165

Over 2.5 -185
Under 2.5 +145
-

Tarec Saffiedine +145
Rafael dos Anjos -185

Over 2.5 -190
Under 2.5 +150

>>76515321
how is Cooby Covington the favorite over Dong?

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>>76515343
Because of Kim's lackluster performance against Saffiedine and the fact that Covington is one of the best wrestlers in the division

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>>76512078
Here

>>76515125
will never happen

>>76515300
He needs to redeem himself for the Jouban loss by showing he has some depth to his skillset.

Either that or more memes.

>>76515343
Judo is a meme and covington is the future.

>>76515436
yeah conor isn't fighting this year

>>76515455
Conor will never fight again

cant even like David Teymur because he has the curse of sperg op, his most important fight he'll flop badly

Artem will be featherweight champion this time in 5 years. Cap this post.

>>76512497
lol his shit talking is so mild. lighten up Francis

>>76515542
maybe Cage Rage FW champ

>>76512983
i'm proportionally as fat as this guy. can I still get laid?

>>76515125
Globalists BTFO

>>76515668
You're going to feel real dumb in 5 years when artem is champ and I'm rubbing your face in it.

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>>76511740

>>76515828
what could he possibly be saying?

>>76515984
Telling the Schaub and Kimbo TUF story.

>>76512927

>big shout out to my boy Goldie.webm

Rumble became my boy that day. I wish he hadn't gotten scammed into retiring to trying to sell weed in a rigged market.

>>76516238
>trying to sell weed in a rigged market
explain yoself nephew

>>76516264

Only Liberal Party cronies are going to get the licenses to sell weed commercially. The little guy is going to get fucked. Look at the guys going into it: George Smitherman (former Toronto councilor and mayoral candidate), Bill Blair (former Toronto police chief), etc. These are all people who came up sucking political dick, and now they're positioned to get the government licenses to sell. Meanwhile Joe Blow who opens a shop on Yonge Street gets the police kicking down his door and taking his stash. Given that I assume Rumble hasn't built up those connections, he's going to get fucked if he tries to go into this market. It's going to be a government quasi-monopoly, just like alcohol is up here.

>>76516343
Rumble's business is in Canada? cuz here it's all private businesses that own dispensaries. it's still federally illegal

>>76516405

Yeah he's coming up here, according to everything I've read.

https://cagepages.com/2017/05/15/ufc-johnson-open-medical-marijuana-facility/

>>76516449
It's tragic bro. He could be making $70k knocking out grandpa Shogun at a PPV instead.

>>76516343
>>76516405
>>76516449
Rashad said he will be back fighting at heavyweight within a year.

>>76516449
ah interesting. fwiw, Rashad had a conversation with him recently and said he's confident Rumble will be back at heavyweight. dumb move if you ask me. if he can't handle DC, he don't want none of what those boys got at 265. he could definitely be a monster at 205 if he just didn't have any quit in him. dude fucked up DC in the first round both times.

why does brendan constanly look to joe for approval? this guy is a massive beta faggot lmao

>>76516535

He didn't seem like he wanted the win in the last fight at all. Deciding to go for the wrestling against DC when he's a knockout artist was playing straight into DC's hands.

Him and now Lewis quitting has resulted in a marked lack of diversity on my boy list.

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>>76516581
Joe is 15 years older. Joe is a successful man and decent role model. He's also one of Brendan's best friends. Nothing wrong with that.

>>76516581
he respects Joe for having been around the block and becoming uber-successful doing fun shit. I agree that Brendan sucks up to him too much, but it is what it is. he balances it out by making Callen very aware that he's the bitch in their relationship

>>76516630
Rumble was giving up his neck that whole fight. He was never in it to win.

>>76516630
I gotchu with the ethnic killers senpai
>Max
>Aldo
>Khabib
>Ferguson
>Diakese
>Teymur
>Ngannou
also, Woodley gets a lot of shit but there's no denying he's a monster. plus he's got heart and is actually an excellent role model

>>76516581
There is literally nothing wrong in being a cuck

>>76511511
from a podcast for a niche sport?
hard to believe

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>>76516954
I think you'd be surprised.

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>WMMA5 announced
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH
GET HYPE

>>76517009
I just can't see him being a successful comedian. His voice is too congested/nasally for him to be able to deliver well.

>>76516742

Maia and Masvidal (somewhat) are still on my list. I think Holloway should be on there too, even though I feel kind of bandwagony boying him at this point.

>>76512174
agreed

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>>76517237
add Choi ye shall be rewarded

>>76512222
DC

>>76516405
that's WHY it's all private businesses.
Once it's legal in your country, it's going to work just this guy says: >>76516343

>>76517321

The only reason I don't boy Choi is that Jason Knight is my undisputed chief boy, and any other boys at feddaweight would be superfluous. I do like Choi and Cub though, wish I could have seen that fight live.

>>76517434
understandable. one day soon they will meet in the octagon to determine who gets one step closer to the belt. we can only hope for an epic fight

also, how in the world did a Canadian come to make a backwater hillbilly with slick jitsu his #1 boy?

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>>76517528
>backwater hillbilly
How dare you

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July is going to be SPICY as fuck

6/25: UFC Fight Night 112 - Chiesa vs Lee
6/30: One Championship 56 - Light of a Nation
6/30: LFA 15 - Odoms vs Vanderaa
6/30: Professional Fighters League aka WSOF - Daytona
7/1: KOTC - Regulator
7/1: ACB 63 -
7/2: Pancrase 288 -
7/7: BAMMA 30 - Sinclair vs Redmond
7/7: TUF 25 Season Finale - Johnson vs Gaethje
7/8: UFC 213 - Nunes vs Shevchenko 2
7/8: KOTC - Chosen Few
7/11: Dana White's Tuesday Night Contender Series - EP 1
7/14: ONE Championship 57 - TBA
7/14: Bellator 181 - Freire vs Campos 2
7/15: Invicta 24 - Anderson vs Kolesnyk
7/15: KOTC - Maximum Intensity
7/16: UFC Fight Night 113 - Nelson vs Ponzinibbio
7/21: Glory 43 - Featherweight Tournament
7/22: UFC on Fox 25 - Weidman vs Gastelum
7/22: VFC 58 -
7/23: ACB 65 -
7/29: PFL 2 - TBA
7/29: UFC 214 - Cormier vs Jones 2
7/30: Rizin 6 - Bantamweight Tournament

>>76517678
>those literal who and SMA shows
Haha what

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check it lads

>>76515643
>lighten up Francis
But that's my name anon, not his.

>>76516954
That's from when he was a lowly UFC grunt. Now that he's a podcaster and live performer plus t-shirt mogul he's way more rich.

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>>76517718
>i only watch the ufc

>>76517935
Nah I watch notable regional promotions, not KOTC and fucking Pancrase in 2017

>>76517607
I actually like the guy. FW is all of a sudden crazy stacked with young talent
>Choi
>Knight
>Bektic
>Burgos
>Fili
>Yair
>Makwan
>Moicano
>Ortega
>Hall
>Arnie Allen
>Gavin Tucker
>Volkanovski
>My Bitches

it's actually insane how much fresh, promising talent this division has

>>76517528

I have always loved the South. First time I saw Knight fighting on Fight Pass prelims, talking mad shit during the fight, then getting on his knees and dedicating the fight to the memory of his father, I knew I had found my boy.

>>76518011
gotcha gotcha. hard not to root for Hick Diaz. who do you got between him and Lamas?

>>76518210
Haven't seen Lamas fight enough for an informed opinion, I'd have to watch some of his fights.

But I was pleasantly surprised by the improvement Jason has showed lately, especially on the ground, which from his first few fights I thought might be his weak point. His last fight against Skelly had some beautiful groundwork. I'll back him against anyone.

>>76518466
https://streamable.com/tevuf

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megan confirmed for signing with ufc

>>76518533

>tfw never watched Taxi Driver

I have huge gaps in both my movie and fight knowledge, yet I still play the same shit games every night rather than doing either.

Feels bad man.

>>76518533
boring movie

>>76518568

what the fuggg is going on with her face famahlam

>>76518568
>australian beauty queen