cric - gentleman's club edition

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWJrPzAUzAs

Where the bloody hell are ya

>using integration by parts in a real world problem
>not just doing everything numerically

cuck

Wonder what Bingle is up to these days

Haven't heard anything after the whole Fev shit and her breaking up with Clarke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX2z71kd_Ac

I wonder how Fev's doing for that matter

cuckbin on suicide watch

How can I get a certified cric qt?

>>76425032
whats this

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Kek wtf is this

>>76425056
get picked for a national side

>>76425071
A footy player that chucked Clarke and shared nudes of Bingle to every single AFL player destroying his career

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fxBZkC1vkw

>>76425077
We're reaching levels of virtue signalling that shouldn't be possible.

>>76425111
Genuinely confused since the two have nothing in common beyond being nominally right wing

>>76424951

wtf happened to this poor girl? Is she crippled?? why does she have leg braces?

>Official figures to be released on Wednesday are expected to show Australia has clocked up 103 consecutive quarters without a recession – an improvement on the record set by the Netherlands in the 26 years leading up to the global financial crisis. Continued growth over the following days will allow Australia to claim the mantle of the world's most resilient economy.

Too bad the chinamen have created a giant property bubble that's on the verge of bursting

>>76425119
she got misdiagnosed at an American hospital, she's fine

>>76424951
there's a large contingent of New Englanders that joy Football, Hockey and crickey Cricket

>>76425032
Kek, this takes me back

whats for dinner lads?

looking forward to watching based england WHITEwash the quoteas this summer lads

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>>76425182
Katsu chicken sushi, unironically

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sFvFVkeGVg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_G9qt2I275M

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>>76425249

>>76425286
What happened after you messaged him on Facebook?

>>76425182
vetkoek and mince

>>76425308
he just ignored me t b h, im pretty offended

Love girls with eating disorders

whos prime minister

>>76425419
malcolm turnbull

>>76425454
Was going to make this joke but I didn't because it wasn't funny

>>76425077
>march against Trump in Australia

hmmm

>>76425321
>vetkoek
W-what are lardcookies?

>>76425544
He's #notmypresident

>>76424951
I don't know why, but her last name 'Bingle' really gets me going, weirdly sexy.

fucking hate caroline lucas, she doesnt speak for me

Fuck Donald Drumpf

>>76425569
>what are phlegm waffles

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>>76425570
Also, what do you think Lara's pupper smelled?

where can i find the bingle nudes?

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>>76425583
far-right and delicious

>>76425032
Someone in /afl/ played a club game with him and apparently he went into great detail about sex with Bingle. She's a dead fish according to him.

>>76425594
Just google them. There's two ones to look out for, her in the shower that Fev texted to everyone and her on a beach post augmentation

brb gonna bing.com the bingle nudes

>>76425623
I said to use google you cunt

My favourite walkie post was when I called him fake walkcunt and he replied "No, it's me, Sean"

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>>76425605

wow she has nice big boobies

they look quite fake in some pics tho
reckon theyre fake

>>76425077
Wow, this has to be Melbourne

On an unrelated note, is Straffo's twitter private now?

>>76425683
They are in recent photos but the old ones are real

>>76425708
Freo

And no, it's still public

>>76425718
>Freo
kek, of course

such a strange city, you get a vertical slice of the classes there

Your mother will die in her sleep tonight unless YOU call everyone in this thread a FAG.

>>76417719
>>76417719
>>76417719

>>76425774
RIP mum

fucking americans

kek england is so fucked

>>76425605
are there sugar pearls in it and where is the chocolate sauce

also top kek brits, looks like im going to be able to slum over there with all the "new europeans" anyway

Rugby

>>76425920
shit gimmick

who is the alex jones of england

>>76425926
t.SH manlet

wow boss angry I watch cricket today, I say is life

>>76425952
mashallah brother

>>76425956
yes brother today we beat nz mashallah

>>76425971
Sam'i Allahu liman hamidah, Rabbana wa lakal hamd

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>>76425909
>are there sugar pearls in it and where is the chocolate sauce
No, suikerwafels, sugar waffles, are from other parts of the country. Traditionally speaking, you eat them with very sweet pear syrup.

>Brussels waffle
>no sugar pearls or chocolate sauce
Cover them in WHITEPOWdERd sugar, add strawberries and fresh whipped cream
pls respect tradition

>>76425018
she married Sam Worthington and had 2 kids with retarded names

>>76426008
>Sam Worthington
KEK

what's he up to

>>76425978
wow brother do you know

>>76426005
my uncle have shop in Amstardam

>>76426008
>rocket zot worthington

jesus lads

>>76426005
Thanks for educating me about your struggles.

>>76426018
What's your end game?

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Hello lads, can someone explain to me how THE FUCK a washed up Malinga beat India???

I was just about ready to put money on them

>>76426121
>>76426029
>rocket zot worthington
>zot means fool, idiot, lunatic
Do you speak afrikaans?

>siff iffricarns can't pronounce the most basic of english words correctly and are ridiculed in the UK
>siff iffricarns that speak afrikaans are well-liked in the dutch-speaking half of Belgium
A local reminder that we don't use subtitles for siff iffricarns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAz8MCO8fg8 [Embed]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3TTi_gAS5c [Embed]

>afrikaans is a mutually intelligible language
>west-flem is unintelligible drivel
>west-flem sounds like a spastic living in the sticks is sodomizing an autistic goat
West-flems unironically sound like that. The """"people"""" from that corner of the country are being SUBTITLED.

>>76426242
That's really interesting, I've never thought of it this way, but you're right, please tell me more

>>76426250
I like you but tl;dr

Sean is fat
Saxon is gay
Lmao

>>76426242
>Everyone from South Africa sounds like they're from Die Antwoord.

Belgium, no

really inappropriate picture

forgive me

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Kek.Pure Gold

fuck proto-luck swing

this semen slurping sport isn't for me.

fucking americans

*rains*
fuck Wales and fuck this gay sport

Reminder NZ have won zero games this tournament

>>76426625
ridiculous that you get punished for that

>>76426625
>the boy apparently suffers from a perverted psyche that needs to be corrected

>>76426250
Don't bully the tourists

forgive me

>>76424987
big tune

play to start in 30 min. toss coming up now

can't fucking wait for the ashes lads

love the crowds, love the atmosphere, love the english, love the aussies, love the banter, love it all

>>76427203
Saved to my "posts that read like facebook statuses" folder

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I've always wondered how come we Indians are so smooth with ladies lads

>>76427235
happy to contribute

>>76427203
This except I genuinely hate you lot and it will not be a good contest because we will be btfo again

>Divegrass at the MCG
disgusting

hope nz loses

>>76427674
same desu

why dont they just send a little indian into the river?

>>76427720
only if he has concrete boots

wish I had an indian auntie mommy to dress me up like tigger

>fab four

Root
Williamson
Kohli
??? (not Amla)

>>76427880
Joe Burns.

Ah yes, rain

i bought myself an adult onesie at game last week. its very comfy on cold nights

>>76427880
>Kohli

>>76427880
Smith

>>76427903
>adult
>onesie

pick one

>>76427880
Meme Shit

>>76427911
Oh yeah, fuck

>>76427880
maybe the best of the lot?

>>76427931
genuinely thought it was bantz, how can you forget the best of the lot

>>76427880
>Kohli

Shouldn't you be prepping for the game, Pissrat?

>>76427950
Been up all night because of the election

Class in a gravy jug! That's silky smooth from Williamson as he carves it through point with the ease of listening to a Barry White record. These two making batting look ruthlessly easy. And that's a gem from Mashrafe to finish the over. A hint of wobble and Williamson's beaten as he goes on the move.

>>76427976
>Class in a gravy jug
wtf

>>76427987
https://www.icc-cricket.com/champions-trophy/match/4256#scorecard

Kane Williamson, you make my heart flutter when you play cover drives like that. That is so gorgeous. Textbook cover drive and that's raced away for four. But then Taskin gets another beauty to beat the bat. Fascinating duel between these two. New Zealand going at a run a ball.

Based TV Director.

>>76428020
>>76427976
wtf

Oh good gravy! That's been marmalised! The 3 wood's out, and that's landed from beyond the fairway and on the green. A five foot putt to win the British Open. That's gone absolutely miles. The stewards have given up looking for it! New balls please! Next ball is back of a length and smashed through the covers. Early bowling change, as Taskin Ahmed comes into the attack.

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Just sneezed into my hand

someone fire this guy

>>76428045
don't want to see this

Heads up, commentary box has been the site of the latest terror attack in England.

calling sky to see if I can get a few free months lads

>>76428045
Are you on the spectrum?

KANE SHOOK

>>76428103
your mum was pretty shook last night mate

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>>76428045

>>76428130
:(

Really great bowling by Taskin. He's got Williamson on toast at the moment. Someone pass me the marmalade!

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>he's a guy that scores when you most don't expect it

hate commentary

Love Athar Ali Khan.

>>76428274
Now that's what I call an on drive, volume 66. Full toss, a rare bad ball in this passage of play, and Taylor just pushes it past the man and away for four. And now he brings out the live album to follow up the hit single with another silky on drive. Just misses the stumps and races away for four

>>76425119
>>76425138

she also got charged 30 thousand dollars plus tip

>>76428323
literally sounds like daniel's reviews

>>76424951
I thought those were socks for a moment. I'm a bit disappointed.

>>76428349
that's so interesting, could you stick around and tell us more?

andy murray

>>76428374
bad gimmick

>>76428387
a good english lad

I'd beat the shit out of this chirpy little monkey on the stump mic.

>>76428363
at first i thought it was a flaming 40 year old indian drag queen... but now that you mention daniel...

>>76425932
david ike
who is the alex jones of Australia?

icke

>>76425591
Fish and chips.

dont know how I'm gonna beat the winter blues this weekend guys

>>76425570
finally someone else said it

>>76428460
Andrew Bolt
https://youtu.be/6OkgaCRII7I?t=1m50s

Mama said that I and I dissed the program
Not the type to mess around with her emotion
But the feeling that I have for you is so strong
Been together so long and this could never be wrong

>>76428552
Same way we have been for the past few years.
Drinking, braai'ing and being disappointed at our national teams.

love cricket

reckon a peak mark phillippoussis would stomp this tournament

Tell me about Kane

>>76428744
he's a small guy

>>76428744
he's a big wicket

>>76428790
forgot your caps

>>76428790
for who?

bangladesh will win by 5 wickets in the 50th over

*nips it away to third man*

*bats shallow*

*farts*

does anyone remember ross taylor absolutely btfoing the pakis in 2011 wc? that was my favourite

>>76428865
Tbh I have absolutely no recollection of memorable Ross Taylor moments

>>76428865
nah don't watch the wc

>>76428876
thats the only one

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http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cricket_worldcup2011/engine/current/match/433581.html

Damn, based BMac getting NZ off to a good start. A strike rate to dream of.

>>76428908
he averages in the high 40s in test cricket so I really feel like I'm missing some important ones

>>76428846
its going to rain

The ICC commentary is the patrician's choice

>>76428937
fuck sake

>>76428926
youre not he's a minnow basher or scores when its like 200/2, don't remember him ever playing a clutch innings. terrible player

>>76428926
There was that match over in Perth a couple years back when there were like 1600+ runs scored and he almost got a triple century.

>>76428976
went to that game instead of studying for my exams

horrible decision, easily the worst test I've ever seen

Kek, now that I think about it I remember on day 1 of the South African test in Perth last year the groundsman was being interviewed and kept on apologising for the road he had put out in that game. The retarded presenter then started talking about how great the game was because there were 4 centuries scored or some shit

need indian pussy

need a gf

whats the cricketing equivalent of the wawrinka backhand?

RunOutRoss strikes again.

>Kane
poo peeland collapse confirmed?

collapse imminent

NZ after kane dismissal so far:

Aus: 7-37
Eng: 8-65

Tomorrow's game looks like a washout, so it's possible Aus will go through with 3 no results.

why don't women understand cricket?

>>76429204
Impossible unless this one is washed out too

>>76429209
I've told this story a few times, but I went to primary school with a girl that was nuts about cricket. She told me last year that she masturbates to pictures of Pat Cummins

need a gf to watch cricket with
preferably an aristocratic englishwoman or a saffer

>>76429256
>She told me last year that she masturbates to pictures of Pat Cummins
that was u m8

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/jun/08/saudi-arabia-footballers-ignore-minutes-silence-for-london-attack-victims?CMP=soc_567

>>76429274
Nah I just came on a picture of Starc once so I could post it on /cric/

>>76429279
>it's a '''''cultural'''''' thing
that cultural thing is terrorism

know several people that moved to England thinking it would be like Sherlock, only stayed there for two years and got severe depression on account of not knowing anyone and being stuck in hell on earth

like how woke even leftie aussies are about islam
aussies don't get mugged off so easily

>>76429343
nah we still get the standard garbage here

fucking hate the internet for letting these idiots get their ideas from America and Europe

it's mostly from a vocal minority in inner cities though

>>76429317
sounds about right. life in England is horrendous , unless you have gf I guess

>>76428410
hey that's racist bro watch it

>>76429394
genuinely glad my ancestors were criminals

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq2jhs19_V8

tfw no gf

>>76429426
hey mate how's it going

New Zealand's tail starts at 5 Tbh

>>76429426
>malay

at least you're not a pinoy fuccboi

>>76429487
he's indian

>>76429450
Just been watching old matches recently, that's about it mate.

>>76429487
nah

>>76429523
what matches?

theres a lot I want to watch but isn't online

every fucking test should be on youtube just like you watch any other sport, but Australia in particularly are very jew about this and theres next to no aussie highlights online

>>76429565
wish I could visit Robelinda's house, he literally has every game Australia have played for the last two or three decades recorded

I remember recording every game of the 2003 World Cup on a VHS as a kid

Spent the whole holidays watching them over and over again

>>76429583
hes really been slacking on his channel of late

>>76429602
let him know on twitter

I wish cricket was a bit more global. If a couple of European and South American countries played it I'd be satisfied. This game is literally too good to be wasted just over half a dozen countries

doctor told me to drink lite beer because I have brain lesions

>>76429617
Why don't you do something about it then m8

>>76429617
I suppose a lot of is just down to chance. like I find it weird that france don't play cricket as they're so close to us but rugby union only got sent there because some guy from England went to school there basically and introduced it, I find it hard to believe cricket was just not liked but that might be the case I guess. also its been said here before Canada and argentina should both play fucking cricket

the French should LOVE cricket desu, something as faggy, elitist and dull as it is, they should be all-blacks of cricket

>>76429263
Our women only tend to settle with Aussie men for the passport, otherwise they're settling for lesser than what they already have available to them.

So just advertise that you are willing to sponsor them for the passport and you are in m8, do it before the country is too ruined

>>76429679
>I suppose a lot of is just down to chance

More like a lot of it is down to the fact that for 150+ years it was easily the least accessible sport in the world. Even Germans couldn't get into it, it was only people who had grown up with it and poors with all the time in the world

T20 is great but the rest of the world just sees fuckloads of indians and because a lot of people are pretty racist towards indians (not without reason) I don't see it picking up anywhere that isn't a 3rd world shithole anytime soon.

>>76429698
One of my mates is French and he's obsessed with it now. Literally stopped watching soccer after I got him into it and only bothers with cricket and rugby. He literally stays up till 2 AM to watch Zimbabwe play New Zealand.

He reckons France would have been all over it if they were properly introduced to the game.

I'm literally gorgeous as fuck, 6'2" and athletic lads

It annoys me when people talk about Islam like they know a single thing about it. I got given a small book by a Christian guy in the city today.. The book looked abit like a comic book I flicked through it and read a few pages in and thought WTF is this!!! It was totally out of context and none of it was true.. The book was literally stating that Islam was an evil religion and it even had references on the bottom referring it to passages in the Quran.. I was so disturbed that I didn't read it to the end, I just threw the book in the bin.. So I went back to the guy and started questioning him and asked him if he had read the Quran and where he got the information from.. He said he got the information from the internet and that he had read a few pages of the Quran which I highly doubt.. He was stuttering his answers as I gave him my opinions on what he's doing.. Basically told him that all religions are of peace and he should read the Quran and get his facts right..
How about actually talking to a Muslim person and see if that person is as evil as you say they are..
Sorry I just had to rant about this guys coz some people are so uneducated and think they can just go on the internet and print shit out like it's correct.. It's the month of Ramadan (month of peace) have some respect!!
peace and love

>>76429742
bet they would produce the most cerebral of medium pacers, and some wicked left arm tweakers

we even stop play for lunch doesn't get more French than that. baka

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>facebook memes

wtf just realised none of my fingers are straight

>>76429824
hahahah kek love it uthna nahi hai kya ahahah

>>76429824
>normies in charge of memes
seen some horrid things in my time

>>76429742
I've got koreans and russians into it. The thing is that the kind of people who find cricket interesting aren't normal sports fans, they're autists, shut-ins and nerds. Often people who are like "all sport is terrible hurr durr" because their only experience in sports is getting bullied by Chads in high school PE. Test cricket should do a grassroots campaign of advertising to wow players and programmers.

>>76429858
kek classic daniel

>>76429858
>Test cricket should do a grassroots campaign of advertising to wow players and programmers.
agreed

>>76429858
lol @ this nerd

Well, since it seems like a new XI is posted every day, let's talk about r/cricket's potential all time Meme XI.

I'm not the best Memer so all of these are coming from the top of my head., and need inputs for 3 bowlers. Feel free to make changes.

1. Virender 'Fuck Off' Sehwag David 'OLED' Warner
2. Brohit 'TalentTM ' Sharma
3. Inzamam 'Boys Played Well' Ul-Haq
4. Steve 'God' Smith (c)
5. Quinton 'Ha ha de kock' De Kock (w)
6. Shane 'Review Pls' Watson
7. Sir Ravindra Jadeja
8. Pawan 'GOAT' Negi
9. Ishant 'Consistent' Sharma
10. ?
11. ?

>brum

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I have zero idea whats happening here

>>76429899
>normies attempting to meme

>>76429916
please watch our sport

both of these cunts are fucking useless

>>76429899
>meme team
>doesn't have memeswell
atleast you got dubs

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Indians love cricket, thats all the reason I need to hate it

kek on your bike mate

>>76429966
dat casual racism

Nice review there from Neesham.

>>76429946
Anderson is the type of player that only does well when there's nothing at stake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BEg38-bWY8

>>76429966
indians bless everything before using them

>>76429946
your mum is useless when I finish fucking her

>>76430008
yeah because she's dead

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>>76429999
cant argue with those quads

>>76430028
yeah

mossaddek hossains FC batting average tho

350 still on the cards

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which one of you is this?

>>76430108
Yeah totally.

TIME FOR BED
TIME FOR BED
TIME FOR BED
TIME FOR BED
TIME FOR BED
TIME FOR BED

>>76430129
me two rows behind

>>76430151
This desu. Was just waiting for the collapse to begin. Might wait for Southee though.

jerked off until I literally ran out of semen today lads

God I love cricket

>>76430237

gonna do a wank later at some point I reckon

murray is GOATing

why did the saffer cunt say its going to rain at the cricket when the forecast is clear?

Fuck me that was nice.

I thought this Mustafizur bloke was meant to be elite

Kek you could see the guys balls

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>>76430359

>>76429760
send pics

>my decision is nut out, nut out

What did he mean by this?

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>>76430369
holyfuckingshit

poo peeland are pathetic

this is such a gay thread. Im outta here

>>76430424
*farts in your face*

What's the next step in Kane's master plan?

fucking americans

go back to your le bron blacked thread

>>76430440
crashing rain, with no result

>>76430440
Bowl Southee for ten overs.

seafood hot pot or eisbein and chips?

>>76430474
eisbein

>>76430474
seafood gatsby and chips jou doos

>>76430493
hmmm yeah u right crispy eisbein and garlic butter will go down well with some beer tonite

think I have a genuine eating disorder lads

like to ejaculate in vaginas

are u a skelly?

Fuck New Zealand cricket. Goodnight.

i wish an asteroid would hit the earth fucked

>>76430539
why?

just going to the gym lads, gonna work on my bowling action

>>76430539
Based fuckin Goosey

>>76430555
yeah
>>76430576
because I'm obsessed with being as skinnny as possible

>>76430557
still winnable mate

long weekend lads

>>76430457
crashing the chase

>run rate of 6 at the death

fuck me that's awful

>>76430602
I know that. But it would be more winnable if decent selections were made and there was an actual batting coach.

>>76430607
for me its next weekend

>>76430586
as my dear old grandmother used to say "never too rich and never too skinny"

>>76430632
>Craig McMillan

wew

>>76430607
had it last week

>>76430567
[2]

>>76430567
is this the new godspeed album name?

>>76430586
i used to have one to desu, would count calories every day and never really eat anything guilt free, i guess it was a luxury of boredom tho as now ive had other worries and got quite fat as dont really give a shit

like if id felt id eaten too much the day before i would go skip dinner and go out drinking on an empty stomach to make up for it. sad!

everythings just so calculated and autistic with me

>>76430747
see I don't even drink anything but spirits now because a pint of beer is like 1000 kj

>>76430747
>>76430713
>>76430586

thats not a very manly problem now is it? thats sounds more like a poofter problem.

>>76430813
dat casual sexism

you DO know that this toxic construction of what it is to be a man is DANGEROUS

>>76430784
yeah i was always really conscious of that too, vodka and diet coke was my thing, beer just felt wrong, its all pretty sad when you think about

love the internet but hate the effect it's having on australian society
basically I think Americans should be quarantined to their own corner of the web so the rest of us anglophones can carry on with whatever we do without being corrupted by their influence

literally everything I dislike about what's happening in Australia stems from America

>>76430824
no I dont know that, because I am a man

>>76430813
dont be like that nigger

>>76430813
yeah its very sad

>>76430824
as if i give a fuck about long words. just man the fuck up pussy and eat a pie with tomato sauce on it already

>>76430867
I've got a square jaw and high cheekbones and to hide my elite facial structure behind fat is a crime

um this is meant to be my safe space everyone stop criticising me

>>76430881
send nudes pls
[email protected]

>>76430909
are you a qt girl

you can really see how easy it is to develop an eating disorder tho, literally with every meal you skip you get ever so slightly less fat

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Love it

>>76430960
such a faggot

>>76430976
It's fucking hilarious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEYYI1ii0AU
Love it

>>76425184
This

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jag ghoomeya thare jaisa na koi

>>76431058
do rich indians and poor indians speak poospeak very differently?

>get a wicket
>follow up with garbage that immediately relieves all pressure

>>76431076
they just add more English words here and there

decent wicket actually

Kek Theresa May must be tying the noose right now

>>76431076
Tum angrez bhosadike chutiye ke chutiye hi rahoge

literally have an elite knowledge of countries/culture/the world

tfw brown but not indian/paki/afghan/bengali

where am i from

>>76431270
slough

rip in pepperonis

>>76431270

usa

>>76431270
birmingham

>>76431270
Middle East, Central Asia, Iberia, Latin America, Caribbean, South East Asia.

So much for the desi final

>>76430921
no

I'm from Nepal btw I love how many village cricket teams/grounds there are in England, truly spoilt

>>76431548
Are Bahadur to wahan chaukidari kon raha hai ?

>>76431728
Nai bhai apun engineer hai

>>76431762
Not even a shitskin but did you say "no my brother is an engineer"

>>76431762
good for you

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how do you deal with your team being shite, lads?

>>76431828
Think about growing up when we were unbeatable

>>76431799
No brother I'm an engineer is what i said. Poospeak and Nepali is similar in that Nepali speakers understand Hindi but not other way around

>>76431828
dont have that feeling now a days haha

>>76431548
Looking forward to Nepal getting good at cricket

>>76431881
i think he was memeing mate

>>76431895
It's really popular in Nepali but 3rd world facilities mean the standard is pretty average