/heem/: Mishka Edition

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First for best girl.

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/heem/ bless UFC 212

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>he thinks the house keeps the stake

>>76296966
Some sites don't include the stake in the return lad

"380% of 20 is 56"

- several pathetic morons on /heem/

>>76297024
Every site includes the stake in your return, otherwise nobody would bet on favourites and they'd go out of business.

>>76296945
>>76297004
>>76296915
>>76296860
>>76297020
American education, everyone.

Profit is the difference between cost and revenue. You are talking about revenue. You are not talking about profit.

Who do you guys think is the best head coach in MMA today?

Mishka bless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZIZ44Ikf2c

>be Brazillian
>only fight in Brazil
>juice yourslef to the gills

what did they mean by this? protip: you cant

>>76297052
Pederneiras or Greg Jackson

>>76297049
No I mean it doesn't show the stake in the return but you still get it you simpleton

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>>76297059
Is Mishka the only legit therapy dog in the UFC ? Somehow I don't believe Cruz and Vitor need comfort pets

>>76297049
My cost was 0 and I got 76 in revenue. Therefore I made a 76 dollar profit

You are dumb as fuck. This is basic shit that I've explained in multiple ways and you're just going in a circle.

>>76297013
looks like a dude

>>76297079
Only if you're not paying attention. "To win" doesn't include the stake; "To return" includes the stake.

>>76297096
You started with $20 and you finished with $76. What was your profit?

>>76297112
>Only if you're not paying attention. "To win" doesn't include the stake; "To return" includes the stake.
If the odds are 380, he would win 76 pounds and get his stake back

He got 96, but only 76 was profit. I get where you're coming from but you're getting confused

Why are non-Americans so smelly, stupid, and subhuman?

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Why is Dana such a fucking cuck? If I was in his position, the rules would be: you win – you sit on my face, you lose – you sit on my face.

Meanwhile Dana's having hard time getting a ring girl to give him a handjob.

>>76297112
I finished with 96 you fucking moron because I got the 20 I staked plus the 76 I won.

Youre a really dumb bitch. This is why youre poor. Stupid people like you dont deserve money or happiness.

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>>76297146
Dana is shagging Miesha on the downlow.

>>76297131
Oh look, someone else here can do basic arithmetic. Glad I'm not the only one here with all my chromosomes.

>>76297147
>My cost was 0 and I got 76 in revenue.
>I finished with 96

You had 96 in revenue you idiot.

>>76297158
He's showing exactly the pose he takes when some intern fucks a ring girl on a couch and he walks in on them.

>>76297131
>>76297024
Oh right my bad
Given Ireland said 56 I thought Burger was saying his overall return was 76

Hahahahaha he's just going to keep going intt he?

>>76297171
Australian inbreeding everyone

>>76297171
What's 3.8 times 20?

You can use a calculator.

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I am getting really nervous now

Boa sorte Aldo

>>76297197
Revenue is all incoming cash flow. The stake *is included* in your incoming cash flow if you win. The stake is literally part of your revenue.

Learn basic financial literacy if you want to continue gambling.

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*GADOOOSH*

>>76297222
You dont know to add 20 to 76

>>76297222
Learnt he basics of gambling if you ever plan on placing a bet.

Oh wait, that would require you to first have money to stake. Most sites require a minimum deposit of $50 USD. I doubt you have that much to your name.

>>76297219
What's there to be nervous about? It is what it is, anon. At the end of the day, José is gonna do the damn thing and run this town. Just make sure you tune in!

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>>76297253
Why aren't you talking about the fights tonight? Oh, thats right. You probably don't know any of the fighters.

>>76297217
>>76297197
>>76297254
>>76297265

Remember back here when the burger had the chance to head this whole thing off by saying that 76 was his winnings rather than the return, but didn't, because he doesn't know what words mean?
See:
>>76296905

>>76297016
what episode of tfatk does Schaub call out the cheeto dust goofs again

>>76297284
That just shows that you thought the profit on a $20 bet at +380 was 56 dollars.

Are you gonna tell me was 3.8 times 20 is or are you still working on it?

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>>76297280
Damn Rogan's wife is fine.

>>76297303
No, it means I didn't bother doing the math on your bet because I trusted you to know what words mean.

>>76297284
You're arguing semantics when you can't even do basic arithmetic. Go huff some more gas and get back to me

Aren't you tired of always posting the Schaub shit everyday for months ?
Jesus, I don't understand.

>>76297275
>tonight
the card doesnt start for like 5 hours

Australia have you ever placed a bet in your life?

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>>76297332
Never too early bro.
>>76297331
Never.

>>76297326
>the difference between what you won and what you returned is semantics
""""""""""""No."""""""""""

>>76297333
Yes. Unlike in the lad of Freedom that you inhabity, sports betting is legal here.

>>76297331
The thing is you can tell he's not even one of the original dudes who did it. It's like he latched on for bants and got himself lost in it all

>>76297360
I've been a fan of Schaub since TUF 10. TFATK got me hooked. I didn't "latch on" for bants. I wouldn't go see TFATK live for bants. I wouldn't purchase t-shirts for bants.

>>76297358
Oh I was asking facetiously. I know you havent.

>tries to tell me sports betting is illegal in the US
>when I'm the one that posted a slip that started this "argument"

Australia, everyone.

>>76297284
No one used the words return, stake or gain until you did, and you used them incorrectly.

>>76297013
>not even pvz

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>>76297394
Can you take a picture of one of your sneaker expert t shirts with a time stamp as a proof ?

lol this aussie is determined to prove how dumb he is. Even the potato mick that originally suggested I only made $56 realized he was wrong and stopped posting but this bogan keeps going. Fun times.

>>76297401
Most of these kids that talk about big bets on someone usually dont even have an account. They just bet 5 bucks with their friends or are just lying. My younger cousin in college always talks about betting but its beer money with friends occasionally

you all deserve each other

>>76297455
potato mick's btfo

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>>76297394
>TUF 10
when you were like 14? kek

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Fight Companion Confirmed

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>>76297418
>and you used them incorrectly.

Where, precisely, did I do this? Post posts.

>>76297401
>murder is legal in the USA
>I can prove this by showing you a victim of murder
Cool story bro.

You have one minute to prove you watched tuf 10

>big baby crying when Junk got hurt
>big baby talking about his flower garden
>big baby getting heemed

>>76297394
Schaub was a complete tool on TUF 10

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Bagata to UFC when?

>>76297516
Wait who's the fifth guy? Young Jamie?

>>76297530
tiddies

>>76297530
ILL TIDDYFUCK YOU

THE ENEMY IS THE INNER ME

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>>76297550
Yeah, it's written below the picture, if you cared to look

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>>76297527
>Where, precisely, did I do this? Post posts.

On this post
>>76296905
>the return was 76, the stake was 20; the gain was 56

The only word you got right was stake. The return was 96, the gain was 76.

But you dont know how betting works. You thought the house kept the stake.

You're a stupid little bitch and I look forward to throwing this in your face in the future.

i bet i could heem mark whalburg

>>76297593
Non-Americans are not human

Just so everyone knows, Australia still hasnt worked out what 20 times 3.8 is. He's still crafting an abacus from stone and wood.

>>76297592
I dated a girl that looked like a semi out of shape JJ. Watching her fight makes me want to fuck her again

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>>76297615
are you a viet-cong fucking shit?

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>>76297632
that doesnt sound to good m8

>>76297632

A girl at my gym actually looks so much like JJ that the first time I saw her I had to do a double take because I thought it was actually Joanna. I almost want to ask her if she's ever been mistaken for JJ but I'll probably come off as some kind of creep.

>>76297593
Remember when you thought the revenue from your bet was 76?

The only one here who outright doesn't know what words mean is you.

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>>76297652

>>76297663
ask her if you can get in her guard

>>76297698

That's unironically the line I will use on any girl I meet that is into MMA.

>>76297652
I mean she was skinny and had the same build, she wasn't fat at all. I find Joanna extremely attractive for some strange reason.

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>>76297663
>Approach her
>Say "Excuse me, ma'am?"
>Rub your Chin
>Say "Are you Joanna Champion?"
>Continue chin rubbing

That's all there is to it lad

>>76297733
XD le hoobie chad so bunneh xD

>>76297716
>>76297716
shame most girls are absolute casuals tho lol

>>76297516
How many minutes will it take to Eddie derail the entire thing?

>>76297685
Remember when no one used the word 'revenue' until you did because you were desperate to turn the conversation away from the fact that you dont know how betting works or how to do basic arithmetic?

>>76297749
mad cause Embedded's a fan?

>>76297593
Remember that time that you thought that your stake isn't a cost?

>>76297775
Remember that time that you literally said that your revenue was $76?

>>76296994
What a shite OP lol

>>76297794
This. Missing bjpenn and mmaimports

>>76297793
Remember the time you forced words like revenue that arent applicable to betting because you got BTFO?

You thought I made 56 dollars. You're stupid.

The end.

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Is Holloway actually retarded? Or why does he talk like that? I worked with challenged people, and the way he carries himself and the way he talks kinda resembles them.

>>76297844
He's eating tainted ass

>>76297844
He's Hawaiian and poorly educated

Usually go hand in hand

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>>76297793
>thought that your stake isn't a cost?

>he still thinks the house keeps the stake!!!

>>76297844
Different people from different parts of the world have different accents and mannerisms. If you ever left your shithole village you'd know that.

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>It's rough. Everyone studies the champion, so I had to keep evolving. I became a target. There came a moment where everyone knew my style, my strengths. So I had to keep improving.

I predict Jose will look better than ever in the striking department. He's been working with a new striking coach for two years straight.

>>76297049
literally cringed

>>76297726
she is one of the hottest fighters from the waist down

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>>76297897
>your return includes your stake
>you still spent the money to buy the bet
>the stake is still a cost

Are you still there, pussy?

>>76297829
>words like revenue aren't applicable to betting
Yeah, basic financial literacy really has nothing to do with gambling.

>>76297966
You're as dumb as a box of crayons.

>>76297991
I'm not the one who didn't understand the difference between revenue and profit, but okay.

>>76298006
You've never placed a bet in your life.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JAJA WOOOOOOOO OSSS

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>>76298035
Demonstrably false.

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>>76297280
>that cunt psychiatrist on his recent podcast
delete this immediately

Why are Australians so unlikable? I've been reading this zero's posts for months he's such a fucking cunt.

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>>76297013

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>tfw two retards are always arguing about something on /heem/
>MUH SCHAUB
>MUH WOODLEY
>MUH BISPING
>MUH WMMA
How the fuck do you reatrds spend so much time arguing about the stupidest shit?

>>76298246
because we are retards

does anyone here use draft kings?

>>76298271
I use it for football

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>>76298246
hey goof, no one asked u to log onto heem.com

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>>76297280
>tfw you are too busy trying to ascend via psychedelics and you end up being a cuck

>>76298271
I did 50/50 leagues for MMA a while back when it first started. Was a lot of fun.

>>76298246
Beat it, nerd! Get lost!

>>76298210
>this Ausgod keeps blowing me out of the water, why are they so amazing?

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Was it autism?

>>76298383
no it was fake

>>76298383
http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/search/image/GdgmYaUB_P4cYOvmeM9bxg/

>>76297540
Hopefully never

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>words like gain or profit are applicable to betting, words like revenue aren't

>>76298291
Not at all lmao. She was pale too if you're curious

What's the deal with Max and his FUCKING cupcakes? I can't stand this guy and his try-hard bravado

Are you ameribros really paying 50$ for the 212 ''main'' card?

>inb4 when you split it among 5 friends it's nothing

>inb4 I make 20 grand a month from dreadful grunt work, I wipe my ass with 100$ bills you smelly yuropoor

At the end of the day a ripoff is a ripoff, nomsayin?

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>>76298383
>Americans in charge of squatting properly

>>76298626
nah, we all just use the internet just like you m8

>>76298626
I'm guessing this card does around 200k buys

>>76298626
It's $60 now. I'll probably pirate it.

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Anyone watching 212 with VR goggles?

>>76298626
poorfag detected

>>76297530

Best TUF season desu

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>>76298562
> I can't stand this guy and his try-hard bravado

On the contrary he's growing on me with each embedded since 206 but yeah it's weird that he has to have his special cupcakes imported all the way from New York, like his nutritionist couldn't learn to bake them on the spot

Any schaub-fans here? What episode of tfatk was the cheeto thing from I cant find it help

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BET THE HOUSE ON ALDO

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Bigg Ladd got her first usada test

>>76298867
>90ml
Is that a lot of urine?

>>76298831
What's his fucking problem?

>>76298867
>90mL
is that how much she pissed in a cup

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>>76298831
He did that before whooping Pettis too

>>76298831
Maybe he wouldn't have acne if he didn't eat all that shit

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Just do the damn thing>>76298626

>>76298945
Maybe he wouldn't have acne if he didn't do all those steroids.

>>76298927
>me on the left
>"what do i do with my eyes"

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>>76298977
That is a lot of blinking in 11 seconds

>>76298831
it doesnt work when they eat after weigh ins

how many bings

>>76299058
Really dude?

>>76298831
>dat fucking nose

>>76299035
just realized i've never made joanna heads

>>76299089
I hope you die before you get a chance

>>76297052
Rafael Cordeiro as it's been for like 20 years.

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>>76299089
Use her to goof KK vs Claudia for sure

>>76299144
got any head requests?

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nig btfo

>>76297844
That's how locals talk in Hawaii. It's called pidgin.

I know this because I've stayed there for a year

>>76299089
One autist constantly posting her is more than enough

>>76299073
?

>>76299249
its not okay to post pictures of a current champion when discussing her?

>>76299058
3 bongs and 20 bings

>>76299407
spasiba

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>>76299249
Don't you have Conor running from Nate to post m8 ?

How many bings till Fight Companion?

>>76299592
I don't care what anyone says, Joanna a cute!

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>>76299169

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for me its Tuss

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>>76299970
>unironically being attracted to this

>>76299970
who?

>>76299970
wait is this the chick from stud radio

>>76300138
fukken saved
>>76300216
yes

>>76300138
wasnt she supposed to be skilled at muay thai

doesnt look like it though

>>76300286
>she
>skilled

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>>76300233
>>76300286
you've heard of the karate hottie, here's the aussi karate fatty

>>76300405
I can understand why she never shows herself on the podcast

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>>76299935
>>76299592
>>76299169

I can filter poland but if I filter the USA I won't see jackshit...

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>>76300405
>>76300380
>>76300286
>>76300449
Wow rude

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Threadly reminder

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>>76300405
>Not liking a chick with a little meat on the bones
STAY IN YOUR LANE

>>76300138
She looks like that girl from work who's fun to hang out with and fuck without commitment.

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>>76300405
dude if you don't want to feel those milky thighs against your pelvis as you try for a baby then I dont know what to tell you, you're just gay

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imagine agreeing to be randomly blood tested "for safety" purposes lol

fuck people

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJG0rblGX1w

Is this style of striking by Nate considered terrible or is there something I'm not seeing?

>>76300586
Nate's considered an elite boxer by MMA fans because MMA fans don't watch boxing.

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She becomes a miserable twat in a heartbeat. Her fiance puts up with it he's a real sub.

>>76300555
>milky thighs
>milky
>thighs

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How many heems will we see tonight, lads? Including prelims

Setting the O/U at 4

>>76300687
>australia talking about mma when the entire county doesn't have a single relevant fighter
Please invade these low test weebs, China

>>76300781
Whittaker is fighting for the title, lad.

>>76300766
~8, including tappies.

>>76300586
It's the type of style that looks clunky as fuck until you're in the octagon getting your face dented like donald trump' desk chair.

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>>76300766
WGAF i'm not even watching the stupid fucking card

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>>76300781
I think you'd be surprised

>>76300822
Whittaker is from New Zealand.

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>>76300766
Under, lots of manlet fights on the card

>>76300836
I really want to lick her

>>76300859
>has the Australian version of the sourthern cross tat
>considers himself Australian
>lives and trains in Australia

He's ours.

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>>76300555
>>76300555
oh for sure my dude. hella milky

>>76300949
But he was born in New Zealand so he's from New Zealand.

TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>76301137
Nope. He's Australian.

>>76301349
Nothing you say will ever change the fact that he was born in New Zealand. You're taking credit for another country's fighter. Bit pathetic honestly.

>>76300841
False, Benavidez is there as well, below Megan's elbow. He never lets her leave his sight.

>>76301428
What does where you're born have to do with anything? He was raised in Australia.

>>76301486
Birthplace determines nationality. He was born in New Zealand thus he is New Zealand's fighter.

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>>76301044
I would unironically eat her pusy

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>>76301545
it'd be a lot like swimming in jello

>>76301942
it has become clear that heem is mostly 22 year old virgins like Springsperg

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>>76301540
>Birthplace determines nationality.

Really? Because this looks like the Australian flag here. You might want to let the UFC know!

you know at least one fighter / former fighter posts here

who is it

>>76302150
A graphical overlay still doesn't change the fact that he was born in New Zealand.

>>76302233
Yes, he was born there. And? He's Australian.

Wait, we all agree that Jones beat Gus right?

>>76302108
adan its ok to like your girls Ultra Heavy

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heeminder

>>76302289
He was born in New Zealand so that's where he's from. Your country trained a Kiwi fighter and now you are trying to pass him off as your own. It's very sad.

>>76302295
>muh spinning elbow

>>76302224
Perry

>>76301540
>Birthplace determines nationality.

Mouse that is born in a barn isn't a horse. It's still a mouse.

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>you gonna just gonna stand there or are you gonna join me, anon?

>>76301044
>shorts pulled high to cover her potruding belly
>tits as big as belly
>fat arms
looks like shit

>>76302414
>What kind of haircut you want senpai

>>76302388
Nope, sorry. Stipe is American.

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Good news lads, My flight lands an hour before Aldo vs Holloway so ill probably catch the fight.
Famous bless brothers

>>76302388
What does a barn have to do with nationality?

>>76302347
lmao

>>76302295
USADA'd Jones wouldn't make it five rounds with him

>>76302347
>He was born in New Zealand so that's where he's from.

He was born in New Zealand to an Australian mother and has lived in Australia for essentially his entire life, considers himself Australian, has Australian citizenship, represents Australia, has the Australian version of the southern cross tattoo on his body, and intends to raise his children in Australia and eventually die there.

Very Kiwi-ish, I know.

>>76302481

I'm not talking about Stipe.

Besides, I'm usually the one arguing that he's American.

>>76302580
But he was born in New Zealand so he's a Kiwi.

>>76302580
I, too, am Australian m8

i've eaten at outback steakhouse like three times

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>>76302488

Bless my dude

>>76302388
Yes, well, people aren't mice. Society has infinitely more influence on how we develop than it does on a mouse. I immigrated to America when I was about 12, and I think of myself as an American.

>>76302613
Cyborg is an American.

>>76302625
Outback Steakhouse is an American invention, but okay.

>>76302691
naw m8

>>76302613
A kiwi with an australian cross tattooed on him, to go with his australian house, accent, wife, mum, and gym.

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Why is DC so much is JBJ's head? DC is clearly playing a character, but JBJ is genuinely pissed off. It will be easy win for DC.

>>76302691
No she was born in Brazil so she's Brazilian. That's how it works.

>>76302676
You're not an American though.

>>76302725
Cyborg is an American citizen. She's an American.

>>76302580
>Where you are raised determines you're nationality

no he's half kiwi half presumably Australian that's it. Still no impressive "full" aussie in the ufc, just kill yourself

>>76302676
you have to go back

>>76302763
And a New Zealand birthplace, making him a Kiwi.

>>76302785
You're not wrong.

>cheering for gadelha over 3d waifu material karolina
kys autists

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>>76302765
they'll both better watch out for Punished Gus

>>76302768
>That's how it works.
Says who?

>>76302794
Conor is British.

>>76302794
We've got the only 2 middleweights worth watching at the moment.

>>76302488
No one cares

how many bongs?

>>76302842
explain

>>76302838
Yeah, I'm really divided here. I want gus to be the champ and beat JBJ, but I also want to see DC beat JBJ. And both things at once won't happen soon.

>>76302871
there's you and like 3 others

>>76302842
Says nobody, that's just the way it is. It's like how being born with a dick makes you a male. Where you are born is your nationality.

>>76302871
3 bongs i think

>>76302901
I think he meant hours

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>>76302883
>>76302842
who insulted our king

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>>76302934

>>76302768
>>76302799
Sure I am. I've got citizenship and went to American schools and universities. I thinj culturally I'm definitely more American than anything else.

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>>76302883
Ireland belonged to the British empire once. Therefore it's British forever. Therefore Conor was born on British soil. Therefore Conor is British.

>>76302909
>that's just the way it is.
Prove it.

>It's like how being born with a dick makes you a male.

See picture related.

>>76302691
>Outback is supposed to be Australian cuisine
>they don't serve snake

>>76302985
You weren't born here, you're not American.

>>76302901

best answer tho correct answer less than 3 bongs

>>76302824
We take kiwi nobodies and turn them into middleweight champs, fighting guys 14 years older than them.

>>76303040
Passport says otherwise, buddy.

>>76302985
I was just joking. you're technically not american but you are

>>76303071
A passport is just a piece of paper. You weren't born here, you're not American.

>>76302150
Peter Sobottas flag is Jamaican and he's a Polack who lives in Germany

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Not only are *********Australians******* terrible at combat sports, they're also retarded.

>>76303098
How silly!

>>76303098
so says ""you""

>>76303098
Neither are you if you're not of colonial descent.

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>this nationality argument

>>76303105
And he used the flag to send a message. Whittaker used the Australian flag because he's... Australian. Crazy, I know.

>>76303098
didn't finish school huh?

>>76303071

i could get a chinese passport does that make me chinese?

>>76303255
If you had Chinese citizenship, sure.

>>76303156
Ireland is rightfully British clay.

Now now, why we need this shitflinging?

Let's make /heem/ comfy again!

>>76303223
the message was he liked reggae music

just as important

>>76297768
9 or 11 mins

>>76303313
Rose is also American.

>>76303181
Nah as long as you are of one of the four original American races (white, black, native, hispanic) then you get to be American as long as you were born here, no matter when your family immigrated.

If you're Asian or something though you will never be American even if you were born here.

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>>76303313
but we need to get to the bottom of what makes someone truly australian m8

>>76303156
Are you still mad about Jacare, namelad?

>>76303298
Having citizenship in a certain country doesn't make you that nationality

>>76302832

Have you been to Aldo's burger place yet?

>>76303382
American nationality is what exactly?

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>the only European man that defends his title was born and raised in Cleveland

lmao

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>>76303313
This.

>>76303313
>/heem/ comfy
heem has always been a hostile banterfield

>>76303382
>a white guy born in China to white parents from America while they were on holiday who never sets foot in China again after they go back to the USA when he's a month old is Chinese, not American

This is literally what you're saying right now.

>>76303432
Being born and spending your formative years here

>>76303432
White/black/hispanic/native ethnic background + born in the United States.

requesting prediction-maker anon

>>76303302
*uppercuts you*

>>76303380
jacare is shit it's not like I dislike Whitaker I wanted him win. It's just he's half kiwi half Australian unless genetics don't count

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>literally having a immigrant mentality argument
oh am i laffin

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Threadly reminder

>>76303538
yis?

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>>76303496
yup

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>>76303590
You'd look great in this!

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Threadly reminder

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>>76303475
I must say initially the ketokid looked like shit but lately hes been looking real slim

Im thingken that keto might actually not be a meme

>>76303496
that's exactly what I'm saying. That guy wouldn't be chinese. Just because he was born and had citizenship there doesn't make him that nationality

>>76303496
Hikaru Nakamura was born in Japan, moved to the US when he was a baby, and his Japanese parents divorced so he was not raised culturally Japanese and he can't speak the language. He's still Japanese, not American though.

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>he's not rooting for kookie

>>76303610
I can't remember if I made my prediction. Can we see the current poster for current predictions?

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>>76303302
>He says while having a british flag within his flag

>>76303693
>>76303674
You goofs are confusing nationality and ethnicity again.

>>76303156
Dan Kelly literally picked MMA at 36 as a part time job

he's 41 now and 13-1.

Let's not act like mma is that hard.

Shit talking plumbers like Conor can do their best Bobby Sands impression and beat on Manlets and get paid millions. It's an easy racket.

>>76303522
Race/ethnicity doesn't matter it's this >>76303516

>>76303750
You're confusing a Kiwi fighter for an Australian.

>>76303698
Can someone post YT vid? I had to unsub from the UFC channel because they post too much useless shit

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>>76303698

>>76303780
Race and ethnicity do matter. Orientals were not part of the racial founding stock of this nation, therefore an Oriental can never be fully American even if they were born and raised here.

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>>76303698
>that butt jiggle