/heem/

dog will be brought out

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B E N T O
E
N
T
O

Eugene S. Robinson

>>75848935
Im going to find you one day and youre going to regret being a pedo subhuman

DONT BRING THE DOG OUTTA ME

hangin
with
the
boyz

Thank the mma gods for being merciful and only taking one flyweight fight this time.

Who is your favourite female UFC fighter?

hoes
want
to
bang

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THICC

webm of andrade dance when?

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>tfw m-m-aiavidal after saturday

>>75849023
>My strategy is to block punches with my face.
-Jessica Andrade

why are retards betting on her?

>>75849053
Bet on Joanna then

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>>75849023
ask an yee shall receive

>>75849053
>le rocked by grandma lodz woman
andraj will drop her and guillotine her epo head off mate

>>75849141
based

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Career ending pregnancy

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>>75849207

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>>75849024
I will finally get to update this.

it seems we're getting that gsp fight too, my ass he fights romero.

>>75848867
Yeah, dont take pics yet. If youre getting so many now just wait till after weigh ins when i put mine in

/heem/
R.I.P.

>>75849230
i stopped taking picks but some guy desperate for (you)s keeps reposting the one's i already posted to get (you)s. I try to take picks only 4 times
>After Media day
>Before Weigh-Ins
>After Weigh-Ins
>Day of
With that formula we get plenty of picks and if we need more i'll post in every thread on the day of until the event starts. Picks could be a simple process

>>75849312
idiot

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Post a better KO

protip: you cant

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You're like a woman with that webm

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>obsessed

>>75849276
oh yeah the same zero who picked joanne caldercuck to beat andrade is now picking andrade to beat joanna

fucking hillary voting zilch

>>75849402
I hope Woodley gets MARQUARDT in his next fight.

>>75849382
lol idiot

Mcgregors stupid kid ruined his career

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>>75849446
dude are you seriously still sperging 18 hours later?

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>>75849451
>in his next fight
>n-n-next time

LMAO

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>>75849467
Bento has only made JDS stronger.
Perhaps too strong.

Honestly though I don't see conor doing anything noteworthy ever again. Remember when Peahead Poirer had his baby finally?

>it aint about just me anymore I'm fighting for my kid I GOT MOUTHS TO FEED

then he gets BLITZED by my underground boy MJ. Kids ruin most things

>>75849473
shhh dont give him (you)s

>>75849451
>n-n-next time!

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For sure I've been a Maiavidal fan since UFC 209

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I want Tuss to grind her ______ on my face after a long day of training

>>75849519
dick cheese

>>75849519
FEET

>>75849526
you're not going to do fuck all you little bitch

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>>75849519
do you have any other pics of her?

>>75849536
Nonce

>>75849536
guaranteed (you)s

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>>75849536
I got this one

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Why do you plebs still watch MMA? Don't you know the biggest draw of the sport is a boxer?

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who /church of bento/ here?

>>75849536
You're the biggest fucking weirdo on /heem/

>>75849580
its only one spergo on at a time usually. they're very easy to ignore or bait. either way its not half as bad as /nfl/ or /nba/

>>75849584
could Bento take Gooby Jr's left hook?

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>he replied 3 times to one post
its like im the richest man on heem with (you)s

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gooby
<---

https://twitter.com/arielhelwani/status/862816245942452224

>Talks are Gastelum vs Weidman on 7/22 in NY. Not 100% just yet. Suspect we'll find out more tomorrow at the presser.

Gastelum vs someone that isn't 60 years old will be nice.

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>>75849536
Stop

>>75849629cry me a river pussy

>>75849629
nah, its not that bad. the threads are slow and bearable 80% of the time. thread wars have been over for a while. friend simulation is pretty bad but its not as bad as circle jerking trip fags

Why are you spamming pictures of babies on 4chan? What's wrong with you?

>>75849628
holy shit, can Weidman even win that fight?

>>75849690
its probably Coral Springs new persona

>>75849628
>Gastelum vs Weidman

Wew Weidman could be looking at 4 losses in a row here.

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Chad Garbrandt won't stop bullying TJ, lads. Someone make him stop.

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gooby
<----

>>75849628
lmao weidbabby getting CUBAN'D, ENRICHED, AND BEANED in that order

>>75849717
I would unironically pick Gastelum at this point. Poor Weidman...

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>>75849628
>NY again

Chris just stop it's bad luck

>>75849743

I don't understand what point this comic is trying to make

>>75849752

Don't forget CHADDED

>>75849793
nice guys never win

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>>75849793
That betas can never amount to inherent superiority of Chad Thundercock.

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>>75849097
me on the right

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>>75849580
more rules rarely improve anything

>>75849823
is rory chinese?

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Im glad heem isn't sleeping on my boy

>>75849891
jewish

i hope stiopic gets heemed to death, i hate that faggot

haven't been on heem in like a month and a half and i now i don't see any schaub posting...it's amazing!

>>75850061
you fucking goof. the imitators are gonna come back now

Which fighters were a product of great timing?

>>75850061
Coral Springs got permaheemd

>>75850076
Chris Weidman
Forrest Griffin
Eddie Alvarez
Renan Barao
Tito Ortiz

>>75850076
Michael Bisping

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Can i request the webm of Stipe dancing on top of the cage after heeming overeem

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which one? left or right?

>>75850203
PLANT

>>75850204
Right

Why did the hoodie guy become a meme?

who is your least favorite fighter?

who is your UFC favourite fighter woman?

>>75850203
what's he reaching for?

>>75850244
Johny "Waterburger" Hendricks

>>75850232
/heem/ on embedded. A fellow heemster posted a selfie of himself blacked out with stipe before the embedded was released.

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>>75850232
him or someone pretending to be him posted a picture of him meeting stipe before the embedded was posted implying he posts here

>tfw The Chris is about to go 0-4

>>75850291
he looks like such a goodboy, would watch some PPV's with

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Why are MMA mongs such dicks? why would a young highly trained fighter beat up a misguided old man in front of a crowd of people when he could have just taken him down and submitted him without pummelling his face in

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-39853374

>>75850289
>>75850291

can any of you kind people find the photo, im pretty dumb when it comes to searching the archives

>excuse me sir, are you stipe miocic?
>well, in my opinion you tapped
>you're not my champion

>>75850313
really wish he took a break after the hard fights recently. still my boy so i hope he finally comes through

Hoodiebro is not my boy

He is not even my lowkey boy

I will heem hoodiebro into next week if he so much as rubs his chin in my direction

>>75850329
http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/75718546/#75721508

>>75850321
>asia

>>75850077
was it really dwarfie spamming reports? i haven't seen the famousposter for a few days as well

>>75850338
thanks for the chuckle

>>75850204
right

>>75850321
lol get rekt, weebs who still think karate is real

>>75850378
>a few days
he copped his ban like 12 hour ago that he got banned

>>75850204
right, put him in the banner!!

>>75850321
He was a retired mma fighter. Not that young either. That other guy was trained in a "deadly" martial art. Its better this way so kids don't end up getting btfo in school
>wonderboyvstyron.webm
you know the one, where the little white kid tries to throw some meme kick and just gets heemed instead

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>>75850369
lol

Also what's up with those shirts that all these fight douches are wearing around that just say the name of a famous boxer, like what the fuck is that retarded shit, it's just a name and it looks stupid. Some Sch*** tier t shirt designing but people actually buy these stupid shirts.

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>>75850338
kek, good one

some guy asked for the goy helwani, here you go

>>75850410
He was a tai chi master

if royce gracie could calmly submit 6'4 250lbs+ guys in their 30s this guy could have easily submitted this brittle old man and made the same point and then he probably wouldn't have had to go into hiding, been condemned by the all these organisations and had all his social media taken down

>>75850408
i hear what you're saying and i might but honestly i already made the banner and dont feel like remaking it. i might tho

>>75850026
Me too, everybody here seems to love him but I find him to be obnoxious. The way he acts on embedded annoys the fuck out of me. Seems like the kind of guy I would have zero in common with.

>>75850442
>Bento Burger
marketing genius

>>75850369
BASED

guys, i believe GSP when he says aliens abduct him and thats why he loses track of time. Pretty sneaky, aliens!

>you are now imagining Conor vs Edgar

would have been so memey

>>75849526
What's the problem with you. I like the new cute Bento meme. That guy is no pedo, you weirdo.

who is your favourite retired fighter?

>>75850454
Royce didnt calmly submit people. He rushed them down to get takedowns, punched their bodies, pulled on their hair, then put them to sleep because they didn't know how to tap. Also its ok, the meme martial arts guy said he was holding back because he didn't want to kill the mma guy.

>>75850548
Schaub

conor vs wonderboy please

>>75850510
it's funny how no one brings mandrama but you're stupid ass when critiquing memes. are you to smart too meme?

>>75850519
we already saw it when conor fought eddie.

>>75850471
For sure lose my number

Post your UFC walk out songs

>>75850576
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMCohzXc0_8

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>>75850573
>we already saw it when conor fought eddie
for sure lose MY number

>>75850557
that only happened with the guys who knew a bit of grappling or who had tried to teach themselves some grappling

he didn't even get art jimmerson in a choke or joint lock and the guy tapped out anyway

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Miocic vs Dos Santos
Jędrzejczyk vs Andrade
Maia vs Masvidal
Edgar vs Rodriguez
Jotko vs Branch

>>75850510

Live a little my man

And no, I'm not the mandrama spammer. I wasn't aware we had one of those.

>>75850610
it's multiple people you MORON, I literally joined the church because it triggers your spastic ass so much.

post some more memes you hate so I could post them too

>>75848935
ebin mem

>>75850421
Those shirts have existed for a very long time. Are you 15 or something?

>>75850597
Fronkie should just go back up to 155 and go for another run for the title. Its clear he cant beat aldo.

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>>75850607
>stiopic
>Joanna
>masvidal
>rodmemeguez
>dunno lol

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>>75850607

Stipe
Joanna
Maia
Yair
and literally who

>>75850710
id rather him go 135, he beats every there EZ

>>75850723
stop quoting yourself mandramasperg, fuck off.

>>75850723
Imagine this poster, and then imagine dozens more, and that's essentially what /asp/ is right now

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>>75850610
I dont care for bento memes so i just ignore it. Why can't you do the same? Most forced memes die out after a while unless they get some traction going, like famous posting. Even then they pop up after a while and then slow down. 90% of the time if you ignore forced memes or spergs they will stop and start something else.

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>>75850077
too good to be true, he will be back

>Suddenly hidden posts

Hmmmm

imagine having so little going on in your life that you get mad at 4chan and save gay porn to your computer

>>75850732
How much longer do you figure frankie has. Boy is 35, soon he'll start looking like urijah faber. Also can he even cut down to 135 at his age?

>>75850809
its either schaub or scat spam. both are the same to me

>>75850839
35 is over his physical peak and he's only losing muscle mass at this point. 135 should be doable for him unless he's on the gas

>>75850839
faber did and that dude was YUGE

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>>75850244
Jacob Christmas Volkmann

>>75850597
holy shit fronkie has that shit where the whole house is the same tile too!

>>75850916
why do you keep noting that? is that weird to you?

>>75850916
my parents house is the same, what's the big deal?

>>75850956
is it weird if someone's entire fucking house is done in kitchen tile dude are you serious lol

>>75850273
fuck you

>>75850968
not every floor tile is kitchen tile m8

>>75850916
that's how every cookie cutter burb in murica is. i bet every house in his HOA looks the same

>>75850977
if it's not kitchen tile then why is it in the kitchen smartguy

>>75850968
that's not kitchen tile you retard somali

>>75850997
yeah I think so too dude
>>75850999
yeah it is idiot

>>75850421
>those shirts
Y'mean Roots of Fight?
>https://www.rootsoffight.com/
It's the most basic, vanilla shit I've seen.

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Andraj = free money

is the spammer someone that shits up all /sp/ generals? i thought it was just someone that hated /heem/?

>>75850998
if you look closely, its not the same. regular floor tiles are much bigger

Am I the only german guy posting here? I still wanna have the opportunity to samefag and troll without getting detected right away

>>75851093
it's probably a wwf nerd who's still mad their tvshow got moved to /asp/

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>>75851081

>>75851093
i doubt we have a specific heem spammer but the friend simulators like to pretend its one of their simulated friends

>>75851093
I've seen it in other generals and gamethreads

>>75851103
try again on yurop grown up schedule

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>>75851103
No Ronnie, you´re not the only one here.

>>75851103
nein! woher kommen sie aus?

>>75851117
it's sweden paigetard

Does the spammer use a script or does he do this all manually?

>>75851151
who is sweden paigetard?

>>75851153
he types it all manually believe it or not

I remember a while ago the spammer was posting in another thread and admitted he wanted /heem/ moved to /asp/

now i remember why i left heem for a month and a half.

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>Hello, /HEEM/? We need to speak.

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>>75851195
Stfu idiot, no one cares.

Beat it! Get lost.

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>>75851208
>hello sir?

>>75851079
Yes, they look like shit, embarrassing just walking around with some boxer from the 70s name on your shirt and thinking it's cool, especially since everyone wears the same ones.

>>75851153
Manually like the autist he is.

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>>75851208
>>75851226
>Hew da FOOK is this?

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>$1.45m to beat a mid to low level chinese MMA fighter

Surely even the absolute dregs of the UFC could heem this bum and it's unlikely they'll make that much fighting on the undercard

>>75851215

why do people still post about rory? lollator doesn't count...

>>75851033
It's fucked up dude. Get some fucking carpet, seriously

I have not seen a place on 4chan to contain this much mentally questionable posters relative to normal ones.

I demand more solidity, sterness. Don't keep opening that door open and shut or those hinges might get permanently loose.

Still better than the bloodyelbow comment section

>>75851267
lithuania, when will you fight hoodiechad? you're not scared are you??

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>>75851256
Your opinion = WGAF

>People outright ducking me ITT
I run /heem/.

>>75851267
>I have not seen a place on 4chan to contain this much mentally questionable posters relative to normal ones

try /gsg/

>>75851266
I can't imagine building a huge house and thinking to myself "well we can definitely afford to build this massive house but the floor in every room has to be the same because different flooring is too expensive"

>>75851295
your boy ducked the ufc

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>>75851267
Get a load outta this guy!

>>75851267
>I have not seen a place on 4chan to contain this much mentally questionable posters relative to normal ones.
I think you'd be surprised.

In my time browsing 4chan I find that most generals have their own brands of autists. Not a single one is free of them.

>>75851267
That includes you and your narcissistic personality disorder. Nobody talks about themselves more than you. Nobody posts more pictures of themselves than you. Don't act holier than thou.

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guys why is he being quiet now with such great news?

reminder that sherdog, the underground, bullshido and /r/mma have all organised amateur mma fights between their own members and members from different forums

/heem/ needs to organise one to become a legitimate mma forum

>>75851342
he's doing the maths to figure out if getting heemed is worth it or if he should just retire now as champ

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>>75851342
>the state of bisping
inb4 m-muh whittaker!

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>>75851308
Nah, not really, man. He got peanuts for that Lawler fight of the year and the Reebok deal fucked him over.

>Triggered the sperg
Lmao, didn't even try. So god damn easy. Watch me go to bed in a bit and see him sperg the fuck out for 12 hours straight lol.

>>75851342
>Bisbong is shook
Colour me surprised. The trash talk at the 199 post-fight conference wasn't worth what he's putting the MW division through.

>>75851342
Bisping is too busy creating new email addresses and spamming this website

http://www.usada.org/athletes/playclean/

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[revs up sperg]

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who the FUCK triggered the manlet dockworker?

Looks like the spammer is fond of Spain.

Hey spammer how do you feel about Schaub?

>>75851401
>the Reebok deal fucked him over.
Not necessarily
http://mmajunkie.com/2015/07/rory-macdonald-signs-sponsorship-deal-with-reebok-ahead-of-ufc-189
>“They have good designers, good taste and they’ll be able to listen to me and take my likes into consideration,” MacDonald told MMAjunkie. “Reebok is an amazing company. It’s great for my brand, great for Reebok. It’s going to be a great relationship for years to come.”

>>75851396
t. jacaroid

It's rather unsettling

I am struck by this behaviour

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...

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>N-No, U
Fucking BTFO lol.

>>75851435
Ah heck yeah, man. You know it.

Gon leave you all with this wonderful MMA, sport related webm of a Brazilian roid monkey getting exposed by an Australian crocodile hunting Welterweight.

>>75851513
it makes me ashamed to even come to this site desu, what can bring a man to wasting his time to spam a mexican basket weaving forum

>>75851532
HE FLUSHED THAT TURD

tyrone raceb8er = dom cruz h8er = tom cruz spammer = jacaroid goof = scatspammer

got a few alterations to the unified rules of mma that I think would lead to more entertaining fights

No wrestling or hugging allowed.

The rounds to be of three minutes' duration, and one minute's time between rounds.

If either man falls through weakness or otherwise, he must get up unassisted, 10 seconds to be allowed him to do so, the other man meanwhile to return to his corner, and when the fallen man is on his legs the round is to be resumed and continued until the three minutes have expired. If one man fails to come to the scratch in the 10 seconds allowed, it shall be in the power of the referee to give his award in favour of the other man.

A man hanging on the ropes in a helpless state, with his toes off the ground, shall be considered down.

No seconds or any other person to be allowed in the ring during the rounds.

Should the contest be stopped by any unavoidable interference, the referee to name the time and place as soon as possible for finishing the contest; so that the match must be won and lost, unless the backers of both men agree to draw the stakes.

The gloves to be fair-sized gloves of the best quality and new.

Should a glove burst, or come off, it must be replaced to the referee's satisfaction.

A man on one knee is considered down and if struck is entitled to the stakes.

That no shoes or boots with spikes or sprigs be allowed.

>>75851004
just wait till i take that photo editing class at the adult learning center this summer, i'm going to make some many famous burger ufc themed meme

>>
hockey > mmgay 05/11/17(Thu)20:23:01 No.75851380▶

Famousposting took a dent the past few days cause posting pics of the burgers or potato canoes without some sports context is a bannable offense now apparently, but it will be back in time for 212

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:05:32 No.75851032▶

Famousposting
took a
dent th
e past fe
w days ca
use posting
pics of the bu
rgers
or potato cano
es without som
e sports
context is a ba
nnable offense now
apparently, but it
be back in time for
212
the
load
up
on
guns
and
bring
ur
friends
its fun
tolose
mem

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:05:36 No.75851033▶

>>75850997
yeah I think so too dude
>>75850999
yeah it is idiot

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:05:38 No.75851038▶

>>75851004
just wait till i take that photo editing class at the adult learning ecenter this summer, i'm going to make some many famous burger ufc themed meme

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:23:21 No.75851387▶

>>75851342
he's doing the maths to figure out if getting heemed is worth it or if he should just retire now as champ

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:23:51 No.75851396 ▶
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>>75851342f
>the state of bisping
inb4 m-

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>>75851342

>Oi m8 I'll fight Romero, I don't care. If GSP doesn't wanna fight, I'll fight that bloody cheater yeh
>*GSP fight cancelled*
>h-hey Sam Alvey u still up?

>>75851561
>le everyone I hate is scatspammer
it's obvious its dockie

got a few alterations to the unified rules of mma that I think would lead to more entertaining fights

No wrestling or hugging allowed.

The rounds to be of three minutes' duration, and one minute's time between rounds.

If either man falls through weakness or otherwise, he must get up unassisted, 10 seconds to be allowed him to do so, the other man meanwhile to return to his corner, and when the fallen man is on his legs the round is to be resumed and continued until the three minutes have expired. If one man fails to come to the scratch in the 10 seconds allowed, it shall be in the power of the referee to give his award in favour of the other man.

A man hanging on the ropes in a helpless state, with his toes off the ground, shall be considered down.

No seconds or any other person to be allowed in the ring during the rounds.

Should the contest be stopped by any unavoidable interference, the referee to name the time and place as soon as possible for finishing the contest; so that the match must be won and lost, unless the backers of both men agree to draw the stakes.

The gloves to be fair-sized gloves of the best quality and new.

Should a glove burst, or come off, it must be replaced to the referee's satisfaction.

A man on one knee is considered down and if struck is entitled to the stakes.

That no shoes or boots with spikes or sprigs be allowed.

>>75851540
Hey man, maybe it's time? time to go?

You look at this and you think, was does it do for me, what insight I get or what here matters to me?

>>75851569
kek

>>75851587
it's obvious it's you lol

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Still lurking spergy?

>>75851561
Adan = somali = (you)

>>75851594
I stopped going on 4chan for 1 month once and I realized I was a happier person for it.

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>>75851592
sooo kickboxing?

looks like i'm not the only one that's learned never to touch the report button

>>75851594
This. Absolutely right.
>>75851638
I stopped coming here for four months. Probably should've kept it that way :/

>>75851004
just wait till i take that photo editing class at the adult learning center this summer, i'm going to make some many famous burger ufc themed meme

>>
hockey > mmgay 05/11/17(Thu)20:23:01 No.75851380▶

Famousposting took a dent the past few days cause posting pics of the burgers or potato canoes without some sports context is a bannable offense now apparently, but it will be back in time for 212

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:05:32 No.75851032▶

Famousposting
took a
dent th
e past fe
w days ca
use posting
pics of the bu
rgers
or potato cano
es without som
e sports
context is a ba
nnable offense now
apparently, but it
be back in time for
212
the
load
up
on
guns
and
bring
ur
friends
its fun
tolose
mem

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:05:36 No.75851033▶

>>75850997
yeah I think so too dude
>>75850999
yeah it is idiot

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:05:38 No.75851038▶

>>75851004
just wait till i take that photo editing class at the adult learning ecenter this summer, i'm going to make some many famous burger ufc themed meme

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:23:21 No.75851387▶

>>75851342
he's doing the maths to figure out if getting heemed is worth it or if he should just retire now as champ

>>
Anonymous 05/11/17(Thu)20:23:51 No.75851396 ▶
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6 KB
rr
>>75851342f
>the state of bisping reeeee
inb4 m-

>>75851645
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marquess_of_Queensberry_Rules

>>75851602
>>75851676
LOL

Why is he so mad? Did they run out of longshoreman costumes at Baby GAP?

>>75851676
dude lmao bud LOL gooby

I bet you fuckin wish you could permaBTFO someone like I did

>>75851719
i too would become an angry sperg if adan blew me the fuck out

>>75851638
Heem has too much of spergs come in here lately, most of them spineless lying keyboard warriors, like spainsperg, or guys at fight with dock and OP. It's too much.

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>>75851698
>Baby GAP

Must be a lot of work manually filling out all that captcha :/

>>75851731
takes a big man to admit that bud

pun intended of course lol

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>>75851742
friend simulation is history

>>75851742
What do you propose?

imagine being this upset

>>75851767
kek good one adan

>>75851676
got any more poetry for us spergy?

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wew

Who gets territorial about a whack website such as this?

>>75851124
Nightshift, Pedro

>>75851134
Gott sei Dank, Sören

>>75851143
Ich komme aus Hamburg und Sie?

>>75851802
Scheisse auf mich, scatposter

>>75851781
thx nigga

>>75851784
I don't, sorry bud

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>>75851745

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>>75851267
I have serious doubts you hang out anywhere else on 4chin

>>75851778
I purpose leaving this place to rot in its own shit

I am leavinv to use discord channel from now on

BASED MODS BTFO THAT DEGENERATE I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER

>>75851850
welcome back sperg

>>75851850
hey you're still alive

>>75851850
not machete'd yet i see

>>75851841
lithboy u know ull be back

>>75851841

See you tomorrow

>>75851841
Got an invite to the discord channel?
I don't know If I'm in it.

So I'm watching the older UFC's in order and making comments as u go (until I get bored) and here's one of the most boring shows I've ever seen

UFC 9: Motor City Madness

Warning this show is so dull I go into rants about sumo wrestling and X-Files

As a quick aside aren't these subtitles so much more fun and memorable than "[Person] vs [Person] [Insert Number Here]"?

Onto a real point this show is actually incredibly important historically. It's the first ever UFC event to not have the tournament format which is a really big deal even if the show doesn't actually feel like one.

Another historical note, even though I try to avoid mentioning buy rates, this show you can already see the horrible impact the controversy around these events was having. The previous event UFC 8 had 300,000 buys but just 3 months later this event, with two of most successful fighters in the organization, only grabbed 141,000, not because of lack of demand but because cable providers were refusing to carry it.

The show itself this actually takes place in Michigan. I would normally say that I was wrong and at least 1 fun thing has happened there, but considering how boring this show is I refuse. Nothing fun has ever happened in Michigan

They introduce the commission who's been on for the last few events, Arthur Davey. Every time they bring him up they point out that the first time he saw an MMA event was in a nightclub in Bangkok. That really sounds like a story he made up so his wife wouldn't question why he was in a Bangkok nightclub and now he's in to deep to back track on it.

The first fight takes place between Cal Worsham and Zane Frazier. Supposedly they competed in UFC before but I have absolutely zero memory of whoever Cal is but Frazier had a crazy fight at UFC 1 that saw him get the back of his head stomped into the ground. Honestly don't know which is worse.

May not remember Cal but he has a really cool, ultra 90's, UFC beanie on.

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>>75851841
SEE YUU SON BOI

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>>75851841
/heem/ will survive. It was unironically pretty good the other day with real MMA discussion. We just gotta get through a rough patch.

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>>75851841
We get it. People keep on saying the same shit. Just leave already and stop making a big deal of it.

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>>75851850
nice of you to take a break from sewing reebok kits and post on our autistic general

>>75851842
Ran out of scat?

A guy has a sign that says that says "Forget about Stanley we want Gracie" don't worry man you'll get your wish, just gotta wait for 51 more shows.

Cal wins in a very nothing fight. He gets Frazier to the ground, punches and headbutts him a few times, and Frazier taps. Not the greatest return of all time but retroactively Frazier getting his head stomped in was my first ever Fight of the Night which I'm sure makes it all worth it for him

More history made tonight. Cal does an interview after the fight where he complains about Kimo getting a title shot. Making him the very first UFC fighter to complain about another getting a shot. He didn't threaten to quit after taking an embarrassing loss before complaining, so he's not quite at Rockhold levels but you can see Cal was a true inspiration for the modern roster.

We actually get modern-ish feeling promo packages with clips from passed events to hype up Brazilian fighters. I'm really not sure why though. I think this was originally to hype up Marco Ruas but Oleg Taktarov scared him so bad he seemingly ran away forever so they probably edited it to just talk about Brazilians in general

Next fight up is Rafael Carino vs Matt Anderson and holy hell are these promo pictures rough. Carino has a unibrow that looks like someone ran a line over his forehead with a sharpie and Matt Anderson is the creepiest looking guy I've ever seen.

To describe Matt Anderson I'll go to another thing in the 90's. Ever seen X-Files? There's a character called Tooms, pictured here who is a monster that wakes up every 30 years to eat people before going back to hibernate in a cocoon made of his own saliva. He's this normal looking guy yet somehow terrifying with this bulging, hungry eyes set into an emotionally blank stare. I suspect Matt very well could be the person that story was based off of.

Side note. As ridiculous as that all sounds written out "Squeeze" and "Tooms" are some of the best X-Files episodes ever made. Check them out.

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>>75851934
adan bringing in the heat

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>>75851909
/heem/ is like the stock market

>>75851841
literally WGAF, beat it DORK

>>75851824
Ask a nearby Jamal

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>>75851841
you have said that before

http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/64570643/#q64571707

>>75851979
Sup spammer

Carino is 6'8". He has to be the tallest Brazilian MMA fighter of all time right?

Matt does a quick interview where he doesn't really say much and all I could think was how he was looking at me like I'm delicious

Once again we end up having another nothing fight. Trust me, this is a theme for tonight. Carino gets the win but he honestly looks pretty terrible. He has a huge size advantage and Anderson doesn't really look like he's anything special yet still all Carino does is throw sloppy punches and lay on the smaller guy. It ends when Anderson gets a tiny cut which I could argue as an early stoppage but I'm just happy it's over.

Considering he lost I suppose my theory of Matt being a human eating monster is out the window

Carino apparently wants to fight the Polar Bear Paul Varelans. Really can't see that going well for Carino as Varelans is actually competent and would be the bigger man.

David Bennito was suppose to fight tonight but Mark Shulzt broke his hand. Oddly enough Shulzt ends up being Bennito's alternate which is interesting. Well interesting by UFC 9 standards.

>>75851953

This is you >>75850723

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Our favorite fighter made a highly anticipated instagram post, man he's so cool

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>>75851998
Shut the fuck up nerd

His opponent is Big Daddy Garry Goodridge who was incredibly entertaining last show. He also does a wrestling promo that includes him introducing himself as Big Daddy, a fake laugh, and him dramatically taking his 90's sunglasses off. I said Patrick Smith was my boy but since he's suffering from "Scared of Tank Abbott-itis" I'm officially declaring Goodridge his replacement.

Unfortunately Shulzt is an Olympic gold medalist in freestyle wrestling.

Third fight of the night, third nothing fight. Shulzt keeps taking Goodridge down like he's an Olympic gold medalist then not doing much while he's on top until he eventually gets the win.

Big Daddy made sure to put his shades back on before doing one of his really respectful classy interviews. l love this guy

>>75851989
>that op
jesus fucking christ

>>75852030
he's nobodies favorite fighter and he looks like he has aged 10 years since Conor deleted his loife

Next fight we have Mark Hall who's apparently fought before not that I remember him, another running theme tonight, facing off against Koji Kitao which is a name that I thought sounded familiar so I had to look him up.

The announcers make sure to mention that Koji Kitao is a Yokozuna in sumo which is a rank so prestigious that as of 2017 there's only ever been 72 in the history of sumo wrestling. Keep in mind the first Yokozuna was crowned back before 1749. They also make reference of how he stepped away from sumo to chase other sports and was "the first Yokozuna to do so". While you can make the argument that they're technically correct...they really aren't.

See sumo wrestling is probably the most interesting combat sport that exists. It's as much competition as it is a time capsule of cultural heritage and even some religious traditions such as salt being used to purify the ring in a ceremony before each tournament. I only know a little about sumo, there's actually some guys who really earn the title of expert floating around this subreddit who could fact check and clarify, but to the best of my knowledge there's a gray area in the rules because of all this.

>>75852030
Wow he is a social media king.

>>75851904
>>75851960
>>75851998
>>75852037
Literally no one gives a fuck.

So for instance the title of Yokozuna is granted to a performer from a council instead of properly earned under any true criteria. There's de facto guidelines about who gets promoted based around anything from tournament wins to behavior outside of the ring. It's less of a championship and more of an ultra prestigious All Star ranking.

While Kitao is a Yokozuna he's also considered a massive embarrassment to the sport and is the only Yokozuna in history to never win one single sumo tournament.

Kitao came into the sport with an incredible rookie run that saw him perform similar to Yokozuna standards despite not winning any tournaments. He was also having this great rookie run in a timeframe that saw 3 Yokozuna's retire in rapid succession leaving only one who was about to retire himself. There were also a ton of Ozeki bouncing around, who are the rank below Yokozuna, with another guy in the wings waiting to get promoted to Ozeki.

With too many second rank guys, and not enough top rank guys they decided to promote Kitao. He met most of the qualifications, including having beaten multiple Yokozuna in tournaments. So with his amazing performance over the last few years they decided to just shoot him to top despite not exactly qualifying. The idea was that him winning a tournament was an inevitability.

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>>75852068

every time i see him i just picture him crying in his locker room after losing to conor in 13 seconds.

Except it wasn't. As soon as Kitao was promoted he turned to trash. He started to lose all the time and his behavior it became worse and worse. He reportedly assaulted his stablemates (think MMA training camps) and when his stable master eventually confronted him Kitao was both disrespectful AND hit his stable masters wife! Eventually the council very, very forcefully accepted Kitao's "resignation" from the sport.

Incredibly long story short, Kitao is a Yokozuna the same was Steve Jennum is a UFC champion.

There's also a famous story of him being a massive asshole in professional wrestling but I've already ranted too much for that.

Oh yeah the fight. It's the 4th nothing in a row tonight and ends really awkwardly. Kitao looks like he's gonna be the first sumo wrestler guy to not perform terribly but when he takes down Hall he somehow completely shatters his nose causing blood to pour all over Hall's chest. Hall claims he punched Kitao and shattered his nose but you can't see it from the angle. Really just looks like a total fluke.

Afterwords Hall gives an interview. He's shirtless and drenched in blood, pointing to his baseball cap that says "got balls" on it before purposing to his girlfriend and then giving a rambling speech about how kids shouldn't fight illegally because it's not legal

The gods show me mercy finally. Don Fyre is here and he's going to be awesome no matter how shit this show is.

He's facing Amaury Bitetti, another Brazilian and thankfully he's actually good and entertaining. He's also the first fighter to wear those shorts with the eyes on the back.

>>75852095
Im an English major. Just practicing. At least I'm keeping it mma related.

>>75852068

The burger business is a stressful one

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>>75852082
>there's actually some guys who really earn the title of expert floating around this subreddit

This fight is actually pretty incredible. Starts off with Frye giving an absolutely evil smile and both men just charge right into it. Constant take down attempts, trading punches standing up, both using the cage and clothing grabs expertly to try to prevent the other from getting an advantage or help line up strikes. There's really not too much to say it's just Frye dishing out a beating in the amazing way Frye always does while Bitetti takes it like a champ and just constantly comes back for more and it's great because of it. If there's anything to watch on this show, it's this.

Earlier I mentioned controversy around this show and to add the show wasn't legally cleared to run until 4:30pm that day and it only got cleared after they agreed to ban headbutts and close first punches (because you know those are so much worse than stomps, knees, and elbows) and said that any fighters who did the bad moves would be arrested. Don Frye did not give a single fuck about this.

With all the undercard matches out of the way it really becomes clear this event is majorly flawed. None of these matches actually matter. The UFC at this point has a grand total of one championship which hasn't even been consistently defended at every event. We're watching guys fight for the sake of fighting for zero stakes where as with a tournament each match mattered and got someone closer to being champion.

It's actually the opposite of the UFC's problems now where there's 33 titles and 45 champions when you count interim belts all floating around and blending together.

>>75852153
>He's also the first fighter to wear those shorts with the eyes on the back.
Casual

mandrama sperg has completely lost it. dont watch wwe fellas it will give you autism.

>>75852201
my BTFOing of him, I fear, is what set him down this path of suffering

Speaking of that one championship. The Superfight match happens. The best part of the whole fight is the fact it's build as the World Superfight Champion vs the Ultimate Ultimate Champion which is just so damn stupid but so damn awesome. Sadly the fight is terrible. I heard of its reputation as one of the worst matches in the history of the organization and it lives up to it.

If you've seen Wonderboy vs Woodley 2 (my first ever full UFC card) then you've seen this fight. It's that bad and dull. Severn wins via being the only one to actually do anything making him the 2nd ever Superfight Champion.

Stand Out Performance: Don Frye. Single handily saves this show from being absolutely worthless. His performance is actually worth tracking down.

Fight of the Night: Don Frye vs Amaury Bitetti

Overall Impression Don't Watch

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>>75852030

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https://www.reddit.com/r/MMA/comments/6ahuwn/official_general_discussion_thread_may_11_2017/?limit=500

>>75852282

Mind if I post this on Reddit? The guys will love it

>>75852282
>MUH KING CONOR xD

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>>75852392
Rent free

>>75852349
yeah I'll stick with the scat

>>75852452
kek

Reddit is garbage but I thought I'd post it in case anybody wondered where the spam came from

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>>75852349
>reddit

>>75852530
cute!

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>>75852530

>>75852530
I want Claudia to rub her mole on my ____

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>>75852589
I feel like making a punished JJ. I feel like this fight will either test her or will just be a walk in the park. You gotta any punished JJ pics?