/cric/

>elephant in the room
What does my penis have to do with cricket?

>>75724833
It's flat and bent at the tip

when is the funeral

Just woke up

Really wanted to make the new thread

>>75725918
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8UNecNMM50

who let the pig make the thread?

fucking hate the BCCI

>>75727695
mum used to always play nick cave when I was a kid and it scared me

>You now remember I'M NOT A CRICKET MATCH!

can i watch pre, full game action, and post for free? if so im in

>your past
kek stupid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA8v3B1SxR0

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>>75727808
who the fuck would call themselves the ashes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xgFy5SWl1Y

is cricket a sport y/n

>>75730074
it's where Australia dumps refugees for """processing"""

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>>75729640

Cheeky bitch got flown to Australia to watch a match.

>Got me a lawyer in the ACT
>Got me the fuck out of the PNG
>I'm telling y'all failed states, they ain't exactly great
>But neither's prison in the Bismarck Sea

>Man, I was born in the cradle of civilisation
>And I plan on dying in its tomb

really great lyrics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66seXrzECmA

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based saxon

what's the fucking point of inners

don't think I've ever worn them

why do some blokes squirt water all over them before batting while others don't

really just don't understand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XibHLDrlUls

>>75730514
kek send that to danny

Basically of the opinion that Erewhon is in fact a very formulaic and contrived song and that Daniel is never going to complete a full album since it's the only song he's capable of writing

>>75730877
Daniel needs to snap out of his depression and start writing a pop punk album.

Metal is for fags

>>75730914
Someone post the Daniel depression pasta

Really mattposting at its finest

>>75730952
KEK, to think you spent THAT much time typing up those lies to feed your massive ego and seek attention on 4chan.

You really are a loser, and you have been EXPOSED as a liar.

You were NOT diagnosed with depression by anyone but yourself.

You are NOT clinically depressed.

You are NOT going through a hard time in your life.

You have NEVER experienced any hardship.

You ARE a young cunt idiot with a massive ego, who pretends to be depressed on 4chan for attention because you have no one in real life to attention seek to because you have alienated yourself by being a delusional vain cunt who thinks he's smart, when you are in fact a retarded idiot who has achieved NOTHING in your life, and you NEVER will.

Stop posting here

Stop coming here.

Stop breathing.

You are absolute human garbage, and a fucking leech on those who are actually worthwhile.

You are nothing and should seriously just kill yourself you retarded piece of shit.

Please reply to this with yet another attention seeking post, you fucking loser.

>>75730514
lel

>>75731005
Really wish I had the capacity for that level of shitposting

I remember when Daniel said that /cric/ would "drive a lesser man to suicide" in reference to that post

>>75731420
>There have been some (You)s that I have received that could honestly drive a man to suicide. Really horrific, personal, disgusting attacks from disgusting, bitter people that somehow I just shrugged off as “banter”. A softer man would have killed himself, and I am not exaggerating. The fact that I can honestly read some of these posts about me and my life without feeling anything is incredibly dangerous.

do you think ivana's ever strummed one out to erewhon

>>75731458
Kek classic danny

I was actually the one that bullied him into making those retirement posts.
Spent the whole afternoon mattposting at him.

>>75731519
Nah but I'm 100% certain that Danny has unloaded his balls inside her now.

>>75731540
I remember the weeks prior he would spend the whole day counting how many times he was wrongly indentified per thread

>>75731614
fuck up daniel

>>75731652
Almost entirely me again kek. At one point I was posting "Daniel" in reply to every kiwi flag that wasn't statscunt going on a rant.

Danielposting really was the peak of my 4chan career.

anybody else only post here when there is no cricket on

I'm pretty much a normie that likes normie things but I also spend all day with 4chan open on my phone

My normieness is excluding my high school Midwest Emo phase of course

Can a big strong American join in the discussion?

>>75731982
Yeah when does he get here?

danishit itt

>>75731996
I...he is here senpai ;_;

Can't wait to see Pakishit get demolished by West IndiGODS

My favourite teams beyond Australia probably go

West Indies
Zimbabwe
South Africa
Pakistan


Ireland
Afghanistan
PNG
Sri Lanka
England

Bangladesh

India

NZ towards the bottom of the middle section

They play a very reddit brand of cricket

is shoey a real thing in australia

>>75734983
yeah done a few myself

>>75734995
but why

>>75735081
it seemed right

>>75727779
>>75727831
>Nick Cuck
Pretentious twat
Can't even keep his wife's son from falling off a cliff.

#kek #lmao #btfo #pol

RIP :(

>>75734983
The first time I did one was in south africa. wasn't bad 2bh

>>75736818
what were you in SA for? Are you the guy that used to live there?

basically I think the Netherlands are ripe for a cricket revival

Really would love for blonde tips and earrings era Michael Clarke to turn one into me and get me to chop it on

>>75737758
easily his best bowling period but also his peak fuckwit period

for me it's the post-bingle tattoo broken arm century era

How do we solve the Irish team lads, what are your thoughts?

>>75737895
basically more money for coaching and grassroots development, which Ireland's getting under the new financial structure the ICC are adopting

>>75737895
stop allowing England to take your players

>>75737939
>three irish players have played for England
>two are playing for Ireland now

Hmm

Not that Morgan wasn't a huge fucking loss, but hmm

>>75737899
I mean yeah we might be a bit crap at tests in the beginning but it's the only way. Its good for international cricket eventually.

>>75737985
Can't be any worse than Bangladesh were when they got promoted. Their entire team had literally never played long form cricket in their lives when they started playing tests. They literally spent two months learning how to leave the ball.

>>75738001
I look forward to squaring up to meme teams like Bangla and the windies

>>75738051
Windies aren't a meme team. They are literally and unironically about to enter a second golden generation.

Aussie bitch just cancelled my airbnb in Adelaide, now prices are triple what they were.

>>75740239
one of my mates booked a place on airbnb in America but the guy sold the house and didn't tell him
he showed up at the place and no one was there, so he found an unlocked door and fell asleep on the couch. The new owners came back a few hours later and found this Australian guy sleeping in their living room kek

Ended up letting him stay though

>>75740274
Hahaha holy shit, I thought they'd just shoot him. I need to resort of my accommodation for the ashes now and it's gonna cost three times as much.

hoping to go to England for the next Ashes myself Tbh

I hope India don't got to the CT. Whiny faggots.

How much are ashes tix anyway?

>>75740430

Me too, doubt cenno will be pay for it though. Gonna vote labor just in case.

>>75740472
should be $35+ if they follow last year's prices

haven't really looked at them yet since the WA tickets aren't going up for a while

luckily I know some people in England that have a spare bedroom so that shaves a lot of the cost off for me if I do go

I've got tickets for Brisbane and Adelaide test.

>>75740608
those are literally two of the worst choices mate

why not Sydney or Melbourne? An Ashes Boxing Day test is one of the biggest events in sport.

>>75740608
How much for GABBA? Thinking about going to the 2nd day and then hitting Jupiters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhPd4Xwbjrk

>>75740657

Christmas is too busy at work so just going to the first two.

>>75740666
£75

What's Jupiters m8?

>>75740729
Adelaide is decent for cricket I guess then. Shitty city, but the South Australians would show up to the opening of a fucking car park in the thousands.

Look forward to lots of empty chairs at the Gabba though, Suicidelanders can't afford tickets on unemployment benefits. Good ground though.

https://youtu.be/-G3weE6NUMo?t=28s
volume up

Manchester - Brisbane - Sydney - Adelaide - Perth - Manchester

The Ashes really is the best part of my life and I feel no shame in admitting that

>>75740817

I had no interest in cricket until Ashes 2005, for us English folk that was just the greatest. Now I'm wasting my money flying over to australia to watch england get smashed about

>>75740842
same here actually

I used to give one of my mates shit for watching cricket back then since I thought it was boring as fuck. Really just a perfect series, even if Australia lost it. I went to a school full of wogs back then, so there was only a few guys that actually watched the game. After that series everyone became fucking obsessed with it. Our local cricket club had to set up two new teams since literally everyone joined up.

genuinely feel bad for anyone from another country since they'll never properly experience the Ashes. I remember danny saying that the day night test nz played in adelaide was the best game he'd seen which really put things in perspective

>>75740908
danny started watching in 2015 after stopping as a child, he's a pretentious twat that no one should take seriously

>>75740934
Still, can you name a single memorable series New Zealand have played?
There's so fucking many for Australia, England, the West Indies and India. Even South Africa have a few since readmission.

What's the big match up New Zealand have to look forward to? Apparently it's playing Australia, but that's such a one sided rivalry that I can't see them getting any satisfaction out of it.

>>75740729

>What's jupiters

Gold Coast casino. Been twice when I was of me tits on MDMA and booze and still raked it in at poker because even blind I can play better than shitfaced tradies with the IQ of an expired carton of milk

so good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-crgQGdpZR0

>>75741878
I prefer the Here Comes Treble cover

>>75740934
this

he literally admitted to being a casual, the only reason people thought he had an autistic knowledge of cricket was because he dedicated his life to watching durham play

Hamilton Masakadza is playing domestic cricket in Bangladesh for some reason.

came here to pay my respects

>>75747939
reminder that Saddam did NOTHING wrong

>>75748217

Besides pick the wrong hiding spot.

>>75748579
Actually his real mistake was trying to kill George W's mum in '91

That is unironically one of the primary reasons Iraq happened

>>75748613
Babs was an old sloot anyway.

>>75748831
t. Nancy Reagan's ghost

dead poomunity

>>75747850
Based

>A BANGLADESHI man has died after a clash over illegal betting on an Indian Premier League Twenty20 tournament match.
>Santosh Kumar, 33, died in a hospital on Friday night, two days after the incident in the northern Lalmonirhat district.

>“He bet taka 50 (62 cents) with some of friends over an IPL match on May 2. He won the bet but others refused to pay him the money, triggering an altercation,” local police inspector Mostafa Kamal told AFP.

>“During the quarrel, someone kicked him on the scrotum, leaving him injured. He died in Rangpur Medical College Hospital,” he said.

>>75752369
>62 cents

>>75752369
>can't even take a kick to the balls
lmao

>>75752369
> He bet taka 50 (62 cents) with some of friends over an IPL match
> He bet taka 50 (62 cents)
> 62 cents

Jesus christ, talk about a meaningless death.

a very sad day for /cric/

>>75756944
>tfw computer died and hadn't backed up my flag map for 4 months

>>75757058
northside or southside?

>>75756621
Probably would have been Bangladesh's richest man

Really think WA should just have another secession vote so we can have 13 test nations

Give Kashmir independence and you have 14

>>75757085
South

>>75757385
just kys paki

>>75757522
it's for cricket's benefit mate

>>75757466
good, I don't work with you then

>>75757537
nah, cricket can fuck off m8 but kashmir is not going OUT.

>that kashmir willow bat I bought as a kid funded the oppression of the kashmiri people

>>75758095
>Not going straight to English willow as a young'n
Casual

>>75758115
nah my bats went
>shitty Slazenger V something, size 4 kashmir
>Kookuburra Kahuna Icon, harrow, english
>Gunn & Moore Six6, long blade, english

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>>75758148
>never a big enough guy to use a long blade

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What's the craic with this young Englishman? He not make the cut?

>>75758148
My first bat was an old GN scoop size 6 my dad had kept around, my 1st proper bat was a puma red monstrosity. my current bat is a salix pod one, it's only 2'8 but it's got amazing balance and a fantastic middle, absolutely pings off

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>>75758275
he's a good lad

>>75758278
those scoop bats were a fucking meme
used to have an old grey nics one in my club's kit and this poor italian kid had to use every game

dunno what the thinking was in taking out the entire meat of the bat

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one viet kid I played with had this one
literally reeddit: the bat

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Just made a cup a tea lads

the ultimate in redditt bats was the woodworm when I really think about it

any bat with a scoop in it is reddit tier

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>>75758328
Shoulda called it "gookamurra"

(Jks jks I'm not a racist!)

>Arshad Khan had a bit of a roller-coaster career. The Pakistani off-break bowler represented the green outfit in nine Tests, picking up 32 wickets. He was first picked for the West Indies tour back in 1997-98, and he also played the following year for the team which won the Asian Test Championship in Dhaka against Sri Lanka.
>Until 2001 Arshad was a regular player in the Pakistani squad, but he was subsequently dropped after which he returned to domestic cricket. He was again called back in 2005 for the one-day international series against England, where he bowled economically. But after that, he could not establish himself in the playing XI on a permanent basis.
>After his retirement, Arshad relocated to Australia and became a cab driver.
kek

when does the ODI tourny begin gents?

>>75758426
next month I think

>>75758444
cheers

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/nrl/ btfo

>>75758838
RoosterGOD on dropping ELITE truthies watch

Didn't even realise a game was on

If they didn't have the Irish guy they'd be shit

>>75759735
joe root is english m8

>>75759735
Ireland would be genuinely decent with him playing

this is just a bit depressing Tbh

if the game was being played in 2014 then it would be much more competitive

Ireland should host Pakistan or Sri Lanka actually

morgan will score a century and lead ireland to victory desu

Bairstow has such a punchable face in my honest opinion

>>75729977
The Drones are great. I See Seaweed is a solid 8/10.

>>75730147
>>75730340
>>75730530

>you came here on a boat you fucking cunt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4YHZtaRDbU&t=2m32s

bairstow to score a 50 ball 80 and get dropped, with sam 'i don't score runs but i'm a nice guy with a posh accent so I always get picked' billings gets a spot instead of him with buttler+stokes back

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>>75760124
best part of the ashes

pretty sure bitchwide johnmeme took two in that over, right after some pom posted
>>johnson
>haha time for pies

>>75760361
really loved the way Johnson would belt the ball into the ground on his bouncer
absolutely nothing elegant about it

what's the general opinion on eoin in ireland?

>>75760361
time for pies was a great moment

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>>75760546
>>75760361

>>75760305
billings is so fucking shit

>>75759785
Same as adil rashid lelel

>>75735081
THANKS FOR THE CURRY

>>75760439
Us cricket aficionados think he's a traitorous bastard!

>>75760651
yep, but the england management seem to love him because he's a hard worker off the pitch by all accounts. he was the cheapest player in the IPL for a reason, and by all accounts he did badly in the big bash and nobody rated him there. rob key said, a few months ago, that when he was about 20 kent only picked him because he was a good fielder and batted him like 8-9, he was a permanent 12th man and he nearly got released

>>75759735
Eoins done well today but usually his score doesn't make a massive difference. England would still win without him.

Can't take credit for this one boyo

>>75760682
Please, look at our football team. At least he's born in England

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>>75760777
>>75760805

>>75760854
Yer but your banters shit, please stop embarrassing the country.

>>75760884
Some of the aussies and bongs are always talking bollocks completely unrelated to cricket on here.

Relax lad, it's just a game, just a bit of fun :)

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>>75760972
excuse me but /cric/ takes it self very seriously

did a big fat shit today

>>75760995
Kek >>75760998

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>>>/tv/82484583
/straffo/ is up lads

Eoin Morgan's just a bit beta. He unironically dreamed of playing for England as a kid. Not really your typical paddy.

whence is ratshit getting out

>having a part-time medium pacer bowling at the death
>the city of irish cricket

Jarryd Strafford, a humble call centre worker from Wattle Glen, Victoria is now a worldwide internet celebrity because he linked his Twitter to an anonymous football discussion forum.

>>75761084
The ICC is an anglo conspiracy to take our players!

You're no chance in hell.

You say you've beaten excellent, high quality oppositon in the last few years. I don't know about you but I don't excatly hold the West Indies and Bangladesh in "excellent" regard. New Zealand, while not as bad as those two, are pathetic. SA in SA was an ok achievement, but SA are nowhere near the power they once were.

Your bright new hopes in Strauss, Flintoff and Pietersen are, apart from Flintoff who's ok, overrated. Strauss has made runs against weak, pathetic opposition. His average of 55 will sharply drop after this series. Pietersens made runs in County Cricket, hell even Stuart Law can make runs there. He made runs in ODI but don't get excited over that. He's yet to face one SK Warne.

This idea that the new players will help because they haven't got defeat after defeat in their minds merely means we have a whole new generation to scar. Face it England, you won't come within a bulls roar until the Ashes are secure with us once more.

- Jarryd Strafford, July 20th 2005

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>>75760972
Sorry I love you really.

Friends?

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My 5 star films on Letterboxd (with a couple of 4.5's). I'll fight anyone about any of them.

>>75761237
already made a /tv/ thread mate

>>75761227
Sure thing lad. Lovely day isn't it?

>>75761279
Where are you?

/Dublin/ here

Scorching

big total

>>75761294
Fine day here in Wexford.

i take insect very seriously too

329, same run chase we had in that famous match in Bangalore.

You couldn't write this script lads!

to the irish lads here, when and how did you get into cricket? Was it the 2007 world cup?

>>75761319
Nice, spend alot of time in Enniscorthy

>>75761294
>scorching

whats the temp?

>>75761592
19 according to google

>noineteen? Fak off moite oi'd be wearin a coat

>>75761753
kek
you nailed it lad

>>75761592
21 degree Celsius

For us that's a heatwave

>>75761237
>tfw been putting off watching boyhood for 2 years
thanks for reminding me

>>75761919
it's garbage

Willey to take a wicket in the first two overs

w e w
e
w

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just in case no-one has pointed it out, we have a bowling attack that includes Wood, Willey, and Ball

>>75761919
it's boring shit, without the gimimck of le 12 years to make no-one would care at all

>>75762284
really just need Sidebottom and Gooch to come out of retirement

stirling is a Big Unit

>>75762304
So it's just about a kid growing up? Nothing happens?

>>75762351
exactly, nothing happens and the characters are all unlikable

>>75761944
>>75762304
emotionless autists detected

>>75762385
You haven't seen it though

>>75762412
because i'm an emotionless autist
my friend described the movie to me and i figured i wouldn't like it

what the fuck is going on lads ireland are slogging one of the best odi teams all around the park

>>75762675
in semi related news, narine scored 50 off 15 balls
>memePL

kangaroos are fucking weird

Sixty eight for one fair play to him

good knock would have been nice to see him make a 50

how does root keep on getting away with it

>>75761919
>>75762385
>>75762618
kys subhuman

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>>75763422
SOPA DE MACACO

Are we going to lose lads

>>75763465
>we
where do you bat in the irish order mate?

>>75763446
wtf

>>75763446
this is really tasty you know?

>>75763717
Bettynho thinks so

>>75763465
This is sterling

Tbh losing by less than 100 is an achievement

might skip the next season of cricket lads

really don't think I'm going to have time for it

>dat wallop

BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB BASED NOB

>>75763923
>might skip the next season of cricket lads

Me too lad but I've skipped every other season and just read /cric/ for the laughs haha

Who here /snooker/

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Gona be a great win lads

Who here /empire/

Application to rejoin please?

>>75763465
I'd say so

>>75764263
Ken Doherty is a national treasure

>>75764320
Keep the politics out of it bud

>>75764348
Was playing snooker yesterday.

Apparently he was in the snooker hall night before

Nearly killed myself desu

>>75764320
>>75764320
>>75764325
>>75764348
>>75764371
>>75764391
overtook poomunity

are the irish into golf?

look like they're trying to lose with dignity

>>75764568
Plenty of courses around the place and an alumni of Shane Lowry, Paul Dunne, Paul McGinley, Padraig Harrington .

based porterfield

going to be fucking livid if porterfield doesn't make a century

fuck me

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>>75765984
>>75766104

We had a few rookies in the middle who shat the bed and gave away stupid wickets, they will get better though.

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R8 my meme

cricket

>>75752369
i read rubber balls for cricket were 1 rupee each in india on /r/cricket.

he could have just bought a big pack of them with the money and called it quits.

>>75758095
Kashmiri willow is absolutely fine as long as you don't use a hard cricket ball on. Taped up tennis balls,hard tennis balls and rubber balls are fine with them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwSFUUrZP3

ive got a kashmiri willow bat myself because i wanted to know what it was like compared to english willow.

>gray nichols blaze quantum if you were wondering

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just woke up

If Stirling had better coaching he'd be elite. Genuinely great eye

>Harbhajan Singh still exists

>>75778816
hopefully for not much longer

>>75782220
out

>>75782220
not out

>>75782220
I remember some twat in u12s refusing to leave because the bails didn't come off metal stumps

>>75778816
got his autograph somwhere
sehwag as well

>>75783409
its not out

>>75783460
why not?

>>75783471
Bails aren't off

>>75783435
One of my mates had his. After monkeygate he threw it in the toilet and took a dump on it kek

>>75782220
The absolute fucking state of that pitch

>>75783519
is your mate andrew symonds

>>75783517
>The wicket is also put down if a fielder strikes or pulls a stump out of the ground in the same manner.

>>75783538
pretty sure thats with runouts if the bails have already been broken beforehand

>>75783564
nah
https://www.lords.org/mcc/laws-of-cricket/laws/law-28-the-wicket-is-down/

>cricket austists getting exposed by a German that's watched the game for a year

KEK

The state of this poomunity

>>75783571
News to me

>>75783535
Nah he was an abo though so he got really pissed over the whole thing

>>75778816
>forgetting le 3-0 if australia play well man

>Australian fast bowlers are overwhelmingly anglo
>South Africa's greatest fast bowler was anglo
>English and New Zealanders are unable to bowl past 140

>Pakistan shits out fast bowlers
>India has had one (1) that wasn't total garbage

>Indians are elegant, wristy batsmen known for their test match aptitude
>Pakistanis can't bat for shit

Really a funny game cricket

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>yfw you couldn't get tickets.

>>75760361
Love our team. Love how ferocious we are. English teams have never appeared threatening.

fuck /cric/ and fuck white people

>>75783755
what's the point of this picture

>>75783746
really there is nothing better than a 6'+ ausgod charging in and banging one in short at 150 kph
much better than medium fast swing redditors trying to """outwit""" the batsman

>>75783732
day 1 or have they already sold out completely?

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feel like pure shit just want him back

>>75784256
1. (c) not sure though
2. not out batsman gets five runs
3. dead ball?

>>75784256
a
not out
dead ball

>>75784256
1- allow play to continue
2 not out
3-i would give the batsmen a good talking too
and call dead ball

>>75784268
yes

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based goosey

really in a great mode today lads

>>75784256
1. c
2. Five runs
3. Dead ball then selfie with you doing the 'out' gesture

>>75783944
Based Vietbro

>>75784286
what kind of sad person reviews fucking kfc stores

can't wait to see the based fucking West Indies demolish Pakistan tomorrow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vnfHx5XGnU