SOCCER AND YURO FAGS BTFO

>>75710659
That was from an article in 2001 he wrote a long time ago and I remember reading it as a kid and at the time it was the best argument I heard why soccer is shit and doesn't work here

>Desperately, soccer smug-nuts always fall back on accusing us American yahoos of failing to appreciate the grace and nuance of their superior game. First of all, any sport in which you hit a hard ball with your head is, ipso facto, neither graceful nor nuanced.

Also a sport that forbids the use of the most coordinated part of your body, being called graceful. lol

>>75711020
>Also a sport that forbids the use of the most coordinated part of your body, being called graceful. lol

that's why it's graceful. Aesthetic is inherently linked to function, subconsciously or not. Are you going to argue that throwing a ball into the goal with your hands rather than accurately kicking it in is more impressive? Or that steering it out of the way of one or two defenders using your feet while keeping possession is not a great feat? It's difficult to control the ball without using your hands in the context of a football match and that's why it's graceful when they do.

Handegg tactics are literally what happens during a corner kick or throwin in football

The chief reason soccer will never catch on here is that it lacks scoring variation; in all of the other popular sports here, looser play can score you more points at once, so if you're down by a lot, it's more manageable.

In soccer, on the other hand, you have to score one goal at a time.

>>75711321
>accurately kicking
>soccerfags believe this
lol. luckkick is as bad as luckswing, if not worse.

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>>75711507

>>75711386
>scoring variation
>>75711321
>looks and imo and much of americans is an awkward sport
>we didn't get to put culturally influence on the game

Not trying to bash povertyball too much here just explaining that at the end of the day those 3 things are why it's not popular here except for middle class coddled kids not good enough for the other sports

>>75710659
Literally who is this redneck flyover? He seems obsessed with football thinking anyone gives a shit. The rest of us dont care enough to shit on Amerikike sports because it's irrelevant and a nigger circus.

>"It is not only that soccer lacks scoring, either. It also has no small victories, no cumulative successes. Baseball teams build rallies. Football teams drive down the field, even if they have to settle for a field goal. Soccer is the coitus interruptus of sport."

pretty good argument 2bh

>>75710659
There is fantasy baseball too

That's cool man, nobody really mentions any American sports in any context here though.

Would someone care to explain this guy's literally what argument? No small victories? What does that even mean?

>>75716333
wow he never actually sat down to watch a football match did he

>eeeeh I've seen enough after 5 minutes, I think I'm well equiped to say why this semen slurping sport isn't for me

>>75710659
Literally who cares about an old piece of shit?

>>75716467
He doesn't like that if a team builds up play to reach the opposition box, the defending team can launch a quick counter attack and score, rendering all that attack for nothing

>>75716513
guy must really hate pick 6's kek

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all those small victories and cumulative successes cheapen the emotion of a game. nobody has ever cheered for a touchdown or a basket as hard as for a brilliant late goal

football can be a drawn out affair but you realize why they call it the beautiful game when it all comes together in a moment of pure artistry and athleticism. everyone is on the edge of their seats, tense in waiting for that sacred goal. when you watch handegg, you take a moment to clap for the field goal and then go back to playing on your phone and eating chicken mcnuggets while the commercial timeout goes on

>>75716513
But it's the attacking team's fault for losing the ball? And they can do the same thing to the other team. I don't understand.

>>75716740
Basically he'd prefer it if every 3 seconds the attacking team got a free kick a few metres further up the pitch as a reward for holding onto the ball

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>>75711321
>Handegg tactics are literally what happens during a corner kick or throwin in football

Worst meme on /sp/ since that one guy posted that one thread that one time.

>How many should I have my players familiar with?

>I usually only coach my players to be 100% sure of 2 set plays for corners, and 2-3 for free kicks in a given game. The reason for this is simple, you likely only receive 1-3 free kicks near the 18 yard box so knowing 4+ is not necessary.

Makes sense. Stats show that goals scored from corners occur very rarely, less than 1% of the time.

Why would any soccer team spend more than few minutes per practice on that? Only knowing a couple of simple plays seems right..

In football, you have to know hundreds of plays and hundreds of your opponent's plays.

>But my free flowing tactical game that is 800 dimensional non-Euclidean Lovecraftian hyper-chess!

Even coaches admit tactics are overrated.

>He said: “I read one of those pieces following a Wolfsburg match [where he coached until late 2016], and asked myself, ‘They say I came up with those highly complex things?'”

http://soccer123.net/germany/bundesliga/tactics-are-overrated-quality-of-players-more-important-dfb-director.html

Cute sport. But outdated, especially coming from American goal sports. Soccer is pretty much redundant. Hockey does the free-flowing thing better, basketball does the creativity thing better, and American football does the tactical thing better.

Oh, you play the game with your feet!

In hockey, you're skating on ice over 20 mph and forced to maneuver a small disc with a stick while the opposition tries to literally knock you out.

And there's actual scoring and comebacks.

>>75716788
I'd love to hear the argument from an Ameritard's perspective.

>>75716333
isn't basketball the same though?

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>>75716613
>tense in waiting for that sacred goal.

Yeah, and it usually only comes for one team. Simpsons got it right with:

>And they're facing an surmountable 1-0 lead!

Shit, in the last 6 out 7 World Cups, one of the opponents didn't score at all. And the game in which both teams scored, it was predictably a 1-1 tie that ended in a mini-game.

Hockey does the hard fought goal thing better.

>muh artistry

Who gives a shit about that when games are often decided by a faggot diving in the box for a cheap penalty kick. When a "big comeback" is coming back from a 1 or 2 goal deficit. When you can't take the lead from a deficit. When ties happen nearly 30% of the time. And when Mario Party often decides winners of important matches.

>>75716914
>an surmountable

*insurmountable

>>75716914
>that pic
Cherrypicking in a nutshell

>>75710659
>soccer
stopped reading there

Good discussion. I think you've finally sorted it all out.

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>random american is mad about football for some reason thread #21037339

>>75716973
Yes, i completly hate football now. I'm an NBA fan from this thread on.

>>75716886
>isn't basketball the same though?

Basketball and ice hockey are the popular sports here that most resemble soccer, but those two sports have more meaningful "events" per game than soccer.

Basketball has scoring about every 30 seconds, while hockey will have a shot on goal about every minute.

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>>75716936

It really isn't a cherry pick.

30% of the time a soccer game will result in a tie.

And the most common score is 1-0.

>Take the most common final score, for example. In 188,060 league games,2 the final tally was most often 1-0, proof, for Curley, that soccer was as low-scoring as he suspected. This result has occurred in more than 30,000 games — 16 percent of the total. Other common scores: 2-1 (about 27,000 games), 2-0 (about 22,000) and 1-1 (about 22,000).

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/in-126-years-english-football-has-seen-13475-nil-nil-draws/

>>75716983
I missed Lesotho

>>75716914
Tie is the best result, 0-0 is the perfect score

Ameripigs will never understand this

>>75710659
who cares what this old inbred shit thinks

that being said yes, soccer is shit, but so is ameryfooty and baseball

As an American I can say that I gave the big 3 sports a try, football, baseball and basketball and for some reason i was still craving more. One day I decided to give soccer a try, 2012 btw. Lets just say I've been a chelsea fan for 5 years and were winning the treble next year.

>>75716983
On mobile - what is this flag?

>>75716807
>Worst meme on /sp/ since that one guy posted that one thread that one time.

The guy was posing as an american and baiting but he wasn't completely wrong. I admit that it's an exageration to claim that set pieces in soccer englobe ameriball as a whole. I still want to make a case about soccer as a whole vs american football as a whole though.

Plays in soccer aren't as detailed but the interchangeable roles of the players require opposing players to think and react faster to unpredictable situations or studied set pieces. There is no receiver or set role in soccer, it's whoever finds the best way to get around the defense and receive the through-ball. Defenders have to pay attention to offensive movements by any player and act accordingly. Not to mention that the attacking team has to be synchronized in order to pull off defense breaking plays without being offside or missing passes. The 0-0 slurpfests you complain about are a result of uncreative teams or very equal teams.
The pauses between plays in american football make it more like a card game, but it's possible to have plays in soccer just as well thought out as the incredible 4D chess handegg ones, the difference being it doesn't stop and players need to quickly play their roles and adapt on the go. The coach doesnt intervene as much which is why I imagine people like to say ameriball is a more brains game but preparing every soccer player to fullfil their offensive and defensive role while working off eachother is not to be underestimated.

>http://soccer123.net/germany/bundesliga/tactics-are-overrated-quality-of-players-more-important-dfb-director.html

I'm not arguing that soccer tactics > soccer player qualities, I'm arguing that soccer is a more entertaining and stimulating sport than american football. That's not what the guy in the link says anyway, he's saying that tactics have to be adapted to player qualities. If anything he's saying that everything revolves around tactics.

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>>75710659
>man you've never heard of says he doesn't like football
don't know how i'll ever recover from this lads. literally in tears

>>75716807
>Oh, you play the game with your feet!
>In hockey, you're skating on ice over 20 mph and forced to maneuver a small disc with a stick while the opposition tries to literally knock you out.

Who the hell is talking about hockey? Hockey is better than soccer, how does that help your case that american football is better than soccer?

>And there's actual scoring and comebacks.

So you don't actually like sports, you just like going to the stadium for the spectacle of yelling goal and eating mcnuggets. I bet you also only looked at the ball when watching soccer. And comebacks are common.

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>>75717322
This.

I'm not even sure why I had a childhood in the first place.

>>75717338
I think you missed the point.

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>>75710659
>SOCCER AND YURO FAGS BTFO

no

>>75717018
So? Scoring is difficult in football and makes it all the more exciting.

A lot of asshurt yurotrash ITT

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>>75716983

>>75717301
symphony vs. jazz imo, each pretty brilliant in its own way

>>75717281
Basutoland

>>75710659
> It is not only that soccer lacks scoring
A goal in proper football is much more important than in every other sport. They are not easy to obtain and once you get a 1 goal advantage it completely changes both teams tactics immediately.

>It also has no small victories, no cumulative successes.
Stopping attacks are small victories. Complete shutting down of opponents tactics and pass lines are small victories. Meaningful long passes are small victories. Having possession of the ball in the opponents half with your team ready to organize an attack is a small victory. A successful dribble to gain advantage in order to assist is a small victory. Every second ball recovered is a small victory.

>Baseball teams build rallies. Football teams drive down the field, even if they have to settle for a field goal. Soccer is the coitus interruptus of sport
I honestly believe this man is about IQ89. I mean, I hate baseball, handegg and basketball (I like ice hockey tho) with a passion and I can explain why, but I also can see why some people like those sports.


I do think Football should be allowed to have a 1 or 2 min time out in each half for each team. Because sometimes it can be hard to adjust the way you play from the bench.

>>75717301
>soccer
>unpredictable

>>75717480
>>Stopping attacks are small victories. Complete shutting down of opponents tactics and pass lines are small victories. Meaningful long passes are small victories. Having possession of the ball in the opponents half with your team ready to organize an attack is a small victory. A successful dribble to gain advantage in order to assist is a small victory. Every second ball recovered is a small victory.
Not exciting.

>>75716807
This is a good post.

I like soccer, but everything it does well, hockey does better.

People that think football is just a bunch of fat guys slamming into each other has never seriously watched or played the game.

>>75717499
It is for me.
Just like it is for you in handegg.

>>75717397

>comfy hand egg is sitting on leather couch watching 60 inch 4K OLED tv with bros over ice cold beer

>comfy kick ball is going to the one guy in the favela who managed to steal power without electrocuting himself to death and having 53 people crammed around a 13 inch black and white daewoo with wire coat hangers wrapped in aluminum foil while passing around a joint rolled out of ditch weed and a jug of fermented fruit

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>>75716914
>cherrypicking
two can play this game you know

>some old loon doesn't like sawker
wooooow

he must love commercials then

How can murricans even compete?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5yG0N8YP_M

>>75717517
>football
>unpredictable

>>75717529
See: >>75717018

>>75717018
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016%E2%80%9317_Premier_League

>334 matches played
>25 0-0 results
>951 goals, average 2.76/game

And scorelines only get higher further down the divisions. There's no problem here.

>>75717018
>>75717590
Stats for EPL 2016-2017
Up until now.

I can do previous season if you want?

Number of matches: 343
Number of matches with red: 38 ( 11,08% )
Number of matches with 5 yellow cards: 127 ( 37,03% )
Number of x home team won: 167 ( 48,69% )
Number of x away team won: 97 ( 28,28% )
Number of x gelijk: 79 ( 23,03% )
Number of x 0 - 0 : 25 ( 7,29% )
Number of x 0 - 1 : 19 ( 5,54% )
Number of x 0 - 2 : 14 ( 4,08% )
Number of x 0 - 3 : 10 ( 2,92% )
Number of x 0 - 4 : 6 ( 1,75% )
Number of x 1 - 0 : 35 ( 10,2% )
Number of x 1 - 1 : 37 ( 10,79% )
( Number of x 0 - 0 at half time: 11 Number of x 0 - 1 at half time: 12 Number of x 1 - 0 at half time: 9 Number of x 1 - 1 at half time: 5 )
Number of x 1 - 2 : 22 ( 6,41% )
Number of x 1 - 3 : 12 ( 3,5% )
Number of x 1 - 4 : 6 ( 1,75% )
Number of x 2 - 0 : 30 ( 8,75% )
Number of x 2 - 1 : 25 ( 7,29% )
Number of x 2 - 2 : 15 ( 4,37% )
Number of x -3.5 goals: 233 ( 67,93% )
Number of x +3.5 goals: 110 ( 32,07% )

>LOOK HOW MUCH WE DONT WATCH YOUR SPORT!!!!!! YOURO BTFo!!!!!1111!!

why do Americans always do this? you are an absolute cancer to football and /sp/, the less of you that like this sport the better.

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>>75716914
>an surmountable

>>75717380
I think you missed the short bus

>>75717648
It goes both ways

>>75717637
Why you picking stats from an african league? Why not a european league like the Premier League or La Liga?

>>75710659
>Associate Football is unpopular in USA
>"Soccer is upopular here" someone says
>HOLY SHIT! SOCCER IS BTFO! EUROPE IS DEAD! HOLY FUCK! *eats a hamburger*

>>75717740
*unpopular
Of course that's what I wanted to say.

>>75717735
This are the stats for the Premier League.

>>75717756
But you said it was for the Eritrean Premier League (EPL)

>>75717729
Only because it's basically impossible to watch American sports here besides staying up til 5am on channel 4

The superbowl is quite popular though

>>75717770
kek

>>75717033
you damn argentine, you must love watching those exciting patronato vs belgrano matches

i was one of those who thought 'this is the old generation, they will die out, etc', but when you grow up you realize they are only defending what is pure for them. soccer in america counts among its ranks the most insufferable fanbase in all of sports, so he is right. if the fanbase was less cringeworthy i'm sure so many people would be so opposed

>>75717018
>We should mak the nets bigger so ther r lots mor goles than it wud be better sport. Also mor explozions.

Football isn't for americans because you are too ADD to watch anything but a goal. Basketball is the perfect sport for you and guess who loves that? Black people.

>>75717499
>Running 10 yards before getting wiped the fuck out by another fat nigger and then switching to another commercial break while they fuck around setting up the next play for 10 minutes.
Not exciting.

American sure know a lot for sport they always says didnt care

ameripoops should focus on sharting their marts before talking about shit they are clueless about tbqh fäm

>>75717648
why do yuros always talk shit about american sports? You might want to consider a different forum if this is tiresome to you.

>>75718767
this is a football board fatso, fuck off back to /asp/ (amerishart """"""""""""""sports""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""")

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>>75717637
>using commas to indicate decimals

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>>75710659
>NPR

Soccer is to /sp/ as horsefuckers were to /co/. The solution to the problem should be the exact same.

>>75718809

>>>/asp/

>>75710659
>>75711020
>>75711386
>>75716807
>>75716914
>>75717487
>>75717499
>implying the joy of soccer is in scoring

You are completey missing the point. You've been so desenstized to actual play that you believe sports are only good when you see the score table go up. Your sports trivialize scoring to the point that it's not even funny watching them anymore.

>woohoo Tyrone just scored another 2 points, 100-99 hell yeah

apehoopers scoring points are as exciting as watching a defender passing to his keeper. not even the most beautiful 3 points are as exciting as watching a defense shredding diagonal pass straight from midfield.

Will soccer ever recover?

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>>75718934
>t. Sporting faggot

whoever uses the phrase "yakety-yak" is an alholic and/or a flaming homosexual

>>75718987
>implying Sporting faggots are even able to enjoy football at this point

just a tetra bro here ;)

>>75719026
Reminder that, at least, Sporting fags already have a tetra

>>75719039
none of which are still alive to tell us about it

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>>75710659
Deford is obviously butthurt. Butthurt that America's changing. Its demographic is changing, and so are its sports.

He knew the '60s and the '70s, the good ol' times, when american "football" and baseball reigned supreme and uncontested.

He's perfectly aware that in 1965, only 15,000 high schoolers a year played association football, to become more than 750,000 per year in 2015.

He's perfectly aware that the MLS started from nothing in 1995, playing on hastily prepared baseball pitches, with no supporters, to become the powerhouse that it is now, worth $200 millions per franchise, with european football schools establishing everywhere in the USA, with new stadiums being built, and with a country hosting a World Cup in ten years.

He tries to combat the mesmerizing spectacle of a football match, the sheer passion football supporters have for their team, until then unknown to the american populace, by belittling the sport with literally all you have left when you are short on arguments: *names*.

USA, I would've loved to say "Football is coming". But it's already there. Get used to it.

*mic drop*

>>75718604
Desu Basketball is their best sport

>>75719672
Hockey is.
Basketball is actually the worse, close call with baseball.

>>75710659
>tl;dr version: americans are too dumb to appreciate the sport itself and only get entertained by a changing score
>>75711020
>ipso facto
No, it's not? Why wouldn't be graceful to hit a ball with your head? What the fuck is this guy on?
A sport is graceful when there's coordination and athleticism. Playing with your feet is harder and requires more skill.

Americans don't know what makes a sport a sport, wow.

>>75716333
Except corners, penalties, free kicks and throw-ins.
>>75716914
>Shit, in the last 6 out 7 World Cups, one of the opponents didn't score at all. And the game in which both teams scored, it was predictably a 1-1 tie that ended in a mini-game.
What would happen if you made up random teams with NFL players? Would they play as well as with their original team?
NT almost always play like shit compared to CL clubs.

>>75719474
Beautiful

>>75717018
And?
>>75719474
I like this, it's a pasta, innit?

>>75716914
goals are orgasmic because they're rare. no other sports can give the pleasure felt when goals are scored.

>>75720557
thanks

>>75720562
fresh OC my dude

>>75716968
>lesotho is here to destroy some moose pussy

why are ameribrainlets too dumb to grasp the inner chess-like mechanics of the beautiful game?

>>75723158
Couldn't agree more on that.

Unironically I think there is a whole space for innovation in corners and free kicks in football, by inspiring with what they do in handegg. Set pieces are often oversighted by a lot of managers.

But football set pieces are a lot more varied and complicated than handeggs

>>75710659
>It is not only that soccer lacks scoring, either.
Fair.

>It also has no small victories
But that is contradicted by the previous point?

>no cumulative successes.
Multiple leg matches?

1/3, SEE ME.

Americans are so fucking obnoxious sometimes.

I'm a white American who lived abroad for 2 and a half years. All it takes is living in another country for more than a month to realize how obnoxious Americans can really be.

Humility, subtlety and patience are ostracized here. Crude, loud and proud is our motto - if somebody doesn't like your opinion, scream it louder. The most popular things are clearly the best. Soccer doesn't have enough scoring, therefore it's boring.

I will always believe America is the best country in the world, but it's the best country in the world DESPITE being full of Americans, not because it's full of Americans.