OFFICIAL DETROIT TIGERS VS SEATTLE MARINERS GAMETHREAD

smartest manager in the league

Pitching Matchup: RHP Felix Hernandez (2-1, 3.65 ERA) vs. RHP Jordan Zimmermann (1-1, 5.94 ERA)

>>75500321
>King Felix

Fuck, we lost boys

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pls have a good outing, Felix.

Tigers lineup: found these guys hanging out in the parking lot edition

1. Ian Kinsler, 2B
2. Tyler Collins, CF
3. Nicholas Castellanos, 3B
4. Victor Martinez, DH
5. Justin Upton, LF
6. Alex Avila, 1B
7. Jim Adduci, RF
8. James McCann, C
9. Andrew Romine, SS

Mariners lineup

1. Jean Segura, SS
2. Mitch Haniger, RF
3. Robinson Cano, 2B
4. Nelson Cruz, DH
5. Taylor Motter, 3B
6. Dan Vogelbach, 1B
7. Guillermo Heredia, LF
8. Mike Zunino, C
9. Jarrod Dyson, CF

B A S E D

The WBC should be banned for injuring players that matter.

>zimzam already getting shelled

AND HE CAN BUNT

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Happy Felix Day, everybody.

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Wow, I can't wait for the Mariners to lose AGAIN!

bring em home cano

Do you think Castellanos will ever realize that the reason so many people are bunting towards him now is because he's out of position and makes absolutely no effort to field bunts ever?

>risp

I've seen this episode before

>jazzed to be doing late shifts next 3 nights when Sox/Yankees is on.
>get this

Fuck. Who'd I cheer on?

>>75500471
Which EPL team do you support?

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MARINERS!

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>tfw competent offense

>>75500471
Tigers. Everyone in the AL west are huge faggots.

Though
>wanting to watch red sox yankees
Maybe faggotry is for you

HITS
I
T
S

Is Seattle ELITE?

I've finally come around: Zimmerman is trash garbage.

>felix
gg

>>75500490

Spurs. So who's gonna trip over their laces at the last second?

>>75500504

As a Red Sox fan I can say that you're quite correct.

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sup, /sp/

good lookin start

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>It's a washed up Felix episode

the AAA boys were playing great for detoilet on sunday, hope they pull it out again today

>>75500558
Spurs seems like more of a Tiggers comparison

>>75500585
Doesn't matter if they do, Zimzam and the shit defense are already blowing it.

kinsler is honestly one of the best in the AL, love that man

>>75500604
He's legit got hof level numbers if he keeps it going.

I doubt he gets it thought because most baseball writers are retards and don't know shit about defensive and base running value.

Remember when you guys said Zim was still good and laughed at me when I said he is shit?

>>75500558
Our tigers are the embodiment of choking

>>75500645
I said I've come around but you also have to concede he's gotten absolutely little league tier defence behind him the last few starts.

That first inning was a good example
>castellanos out of position for the bunt, again
>the city of justin upton's ability to find the cutoff man

Thanks for actually doing something shithead

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stop throwing balls

>shitix
tiggers win lol

>>75500717
No, we are terrible. If you can't beat our depleted team with terrible pitching, then I don't know what to say.

>look at three pitches in a row in the exact same spot

>>75500682

Perfect.

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M's bros

this needs to be addressed

when and how do we get rid of Zunino?

oh shit Avila is on first lol

>>75500757
Trade you k Rod for him

Is eating a salad for dinner gay?

>>75500816
Only if you are eating it as a side dish.

B A S E D
R
A
D

>>75500823
Nah. Just eating a salad.

B A S E D
R
A
D

That HR view tho.

Lets go Tigers.

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>tfw remember old, dominant Felix

MCCANNON
C
C
A
N
O
N

Fuck off shitix

>>75500842
pretty gay.

go get some meat.

Kinsler is a god

>>75500816

Chicken and bacon ceasar is acceptable. Anything else then nah son.

I'm gay for Ian Kinsler. The salad did it.

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>>75500856
>hits 30 years old
>immediately turns to shit

I don't understand.

Hows your bullpen this year Seattle bros?

>>75500866
Yeah I threw some chicken on the grill. Couldn't do it.

Kek
>the city of felix trying

>>75500816
Put some meat in a salad and you're good.

V-SHART

>>75500929
started off rough, but has progressively been getting better due to Felix shitting the bed every start.

the M's have an 8 man bullpen for good reason.

Are the Hot & Readies at Comerica Park still five dollars?

old vmart was my favourite. sad to see him play like garbage last 2 seasons

Oh how I miss Miggy and J.D.

>>75500965
Sweet. Thanks

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Los Tigres

>>75500990
He wasn't that bad last year at least he was driving the ball. It seems like he has absolutely no power left.

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>>75500929

>>75500979
>still

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>tfw the M's really should have traded Felix to the Yankee's when they had the chance.

>>75500887

>Kinsler likes to sit on my rod

ftfy

>>75501027
Are they five dollars?

>Segura back
>Haniger ded
Why

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>Haniger's hurt

I always liked you Mariner bros. Wish you the best of luck in the West.

>>75501081
You're playing the Tigers. You have no right to bitch about ded players.

>>75501063
They are basically small pizzas and are ~$18. You would probably be better off just throwing your money into a pit of fire.

Actually, everything except like fucking coffee and hot chocolate is a rip off at CoPa.

I don't have volume, what happened to Hanniger?

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Kinsler = elite

>mfw we got him for 300 million dollars worth of Prince Fielder

>>75501117
Jammed his left wrist sliding back to first

>>75501112
Hot dogs are always worth it. Even for $3.50 ballpark hot dogs are God tier.

I just thought it would be nice if they did a special on Little Caesar's stuff as they own it. I would never eat pizza at a ballgame but it would be nice for other people.

>mitch ded
pls be ok

Holy shit is Felix hurt or did they take him out for being that shit?

>two innings

>>75501155
I just eat before. At least I don't get drunk there, because I am not about to spend $8 per cup of watery beer.

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>>75500339

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at what point will it pay off to be a fan of this team?

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what'da drinking, lads

STRAINED OBLIQUE

>>75501185
I get five or six hot dogs every game. I don't know what they do to them but God damn if ballpark dogs aren't the best things on earth.

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>Haniger has a strained oblique

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>3-0 swing

gg haniger

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>>75501214
honestly, its very possible that it will never pay off for you
cubs fans were born, lived and died between rings
that could be you, but with no past success to atleast soften the blow

Happy Felix Day

>>75501237
Last year I went to Cleveland on their $1 hot dog night. They were average, but I ate like 8 of them kek. Felt like vomiting.

>>75501235
Thats at least a month and a half, depending on the severity

unbelievable man I think Cruz could be 60 years old and still kill us.

>>75501268
Never been to whatever the fuck they call Jacobs field now. All I know is CoPa dogs are elite.

>>75501301
Progressive. It is an okay park, but they have these retarded looking storage locker type things in their upper deck. It's hilarious.

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m'otter

>>75501321
If I ever drive to Ohio to see a game it's going to be the Reds. Cleveland is a shithole even compared to Detroit.

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>>75501321
These lel

>>75501329
I wanna be mad..
>otters =3

>>75501228
black coffee

>>75501329
should've found the Mariners fedora night giveaway and shooped it in that way but bretty gud

>>75501348
>this is world class architecture in da land

>>75501345
GABP is actually really nice. Been there a few times. It sits right on the river.

>>75501348
Embarrassing

>ANOTHER GIDP

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>75501361
that's a good choice

>>75501377
Yeah I know. I drive by it every time I go see my buddy in Kentucky and it looks great.

We've been talking about going to a game together and bringing his young son. He doesn't know shit about baseball but now that he has a son he feels he needs to expose him to sports or the kid's going to turn into a fat fuck from living in the south.

>>75501419
>kid's going to turn into a fat fuck from living in the south.

Can confirm. Lived in North Carolina for a bit and it is amazing some of the shit they add to their food. It was nice to drive on near perfect roads and have tons of sunlight though. Fuck the Michigan roads and fuck our cloudiness.

>heh heh purple haaaaze. got the shift on..

V-SHAAAAAAAAAAART

kirk gibson puts me to sleep

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B A S E D
R
A
D

>v-shart

Absolutely acceptable

>>75501555
Trips of truth

B A S E D
R
A
D

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tfw DFA'ing Leonys Martin cursed the team

tfw Felix isn't elite anymore

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BACK 2 BACK

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B A S E D
R
A
D.

Absolutely cerebral

BRAAAAAAAAAAAD

FUCKING CEREBRAL

le bearded nepotism man has been hot as fuck this spring

Fuck my stream is so behind

AVILA
V
I
L
A

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holy shit how is Aducci so good? lmao

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>>75501579
>>75501587
>>75501589
>>75501592
>>75501597

This teams is so much better when Jacoby Jones and Jose Iglesias aren't here to strike out 5 times a game each

BASED WHOEVER YOU ARE

>>75501619
JaCoby really does need to back to AAA.

>>75501616
Brad plays 8 dimensional mind sweeper, everyone else plays checkers

This bitch always stutters. Is she nervous?

Holy fuck she talks through multiple pitches. Shorten it up sister!

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>>75501652
so true

>>75501646
It's not even just the complete inability to hit major league pitching: it's the errors, base running mistakes, and worst of all the lack of hustle. He's fucking abysmal.

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SUGOI SEGURA-SAN

lmao Zimmermann is so fucking dogshit

Brad.........what the fuck

tigers lose

So can we all agree that despite the nepotism Avila actually was a good signing?

You can do a lot worse for a backup catcher than a left handed bat that can play multiple positions and has some pop.

>zimmershit

Why can't we ever sit back comfortably with zim pitching lol

At least he keeps it interesting

>the city of the NL

Zim was a freaking boss in that league.

>>75501786
Most times we can because of fuckers like Rodriguez, Sanchez or Ryan

>>75501720
100% tbqhwybbq

>>75501788
His breaking balls used to not be shit though.

His curve and slider just spin in place now.

>>75501779
>nepotism

Isn't that an ice cream flavor m8?

>yfw Zim wil be making like 60 million over the next 2 years

yay..

>>75501833
actually i think it is like 50 but whatever it is still too much

Fuck these gay contracts

Romine GOAT

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>the city of this game's pitching

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>>75501228
>>75501228

Ian's gonna be hitting .280 by the time this long ass game is over.

>>75501881
420 blaze it

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holy shit this offense

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Based motherfucking Brad

nick is a big lad

Even Collins has been slightly better than shit this season.

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Will Seattle ever recover?

V-Shart still can't hit even with how tonight is going ahahaha

I go to pee and the Tigers are up 10-4

They either need to utilize the mercy rule or this game is going to go five hours.

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>>75502000
kek

>>75502013
Hi Manfred

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Justin PLEASE don't kill his ERA

Mr. Leafbro, dare you to post a "brad checking in" in the cleveland thread kek

How many Tigers bat the cycle tonight?

HE ACTUALLY GOT AN EXTRA BASE HIT

HOW WILL SEATTLE EVER RECOVER!?!?!

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>>75501993
what do you think?

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>>75502031
Reee the game just ended

>>75502031
Do it leafbro

Oh shit I just realized we already have free curly fries

CURLEY FRIES
U
R
L
E
Y

F
R
I
E
S

>>75502063
so

>>75502063
Damn

God the intentional walk rule is so weird

>walking avila to get to adduci
When you know your pitchers are pure shit.

>>75502091
I hate it

>look guys it saves us 30 seconds

Why is every ump calling obviously inside and outside pitches? It happens every night I swear

>>75502063
Don't worry, two retards are fighting each other in there right now. It is enough entertainment.

>>75502097
It's bullshit too because every years there's at least a couple wild pitches and occassionally a hit. It's not fair to the offense at all.

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>walking in a run

Is Omar Infante still in the Tiger's minors?

GOATMINE

What the fuck Seattle

mercy incoming>?

>>75502138
Glad the tigers are doing good but how long will the shitters be able to carry this team?

How do you get BTFO this hard by 50% of the Toledo Mudhens?

Jesus fucking christ just stop the game

ARE THEY GOING TO LEAVE THE PITCHER IN? POOR GUY LOL.

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lmfao

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>half the team ded
>score 16 runs

fuckin kek

Not gonna lie, it's hilarious to watch the Mariners crash and burn like this. Seriously though, we can't let this team get their hands on the AL West title.

Kek

Seattle I don't even know what to say..

JUST GO HOME SEATTLE LMAOOOOOO

Finally, a game where Sanchez and Ryan can feel right at home.

>>75502222
Seattle, I...

Even that last out was scorched.

>>75502284
JUST

WHY DOES CRUZ ALWAYS CRUSH US

>being on pace to give up 25 runs against a AAA team

>inb4 mariners make a 13 run comeback to win and replace their loss in the biggest comeback in history

>zimmershit
Literally can't throw breaking balls

>>75502351
I actually think they will get to 9 runs minimum.

>>75502321
you really gonna do that?
you gonna complain with an 11 run lead?

Avila is surprisingly not shit at first base. I'm pleasantly surprised.

i haven't been able to watch (thankfully), have they said what's up with Felix?

Literally what does zimmermann even do well? Look pissed off all the time?

>>75502374
You don't know the pain he has caused us.

>>75502374
>tigers bp

Boy this game is far from over

wtf lol

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>tfw I remembered the Sonics have won a playoff game more recently than the M's

>>75502374
He's kind of right though. I wouldn't be surprised to find out Cruz was a lifetime 400 hitter with 40 plus dingers against the Tigers. It's less complaining than marveling at it. His entire career he's crushed us.

>>75502254

We fucking need some fresh, young meat playing small ball. Always relying on Cabrera and especially Martinez to drive everyone in hasn't worked in years, but if it weren't for the injuries they'd keep the formula exactly the same.

>Detroit: where pitchers go to die

the seattle mariners, a semi-professional baseball team, gave up 9 runs in a single inning.

how does the city of seattle ever recover?

>>75502385
Retired from shame

>>75502416
>yfw that ALCS when he was on Texas and he hit 6 SIX fucking home runs against us

Amazing and frustrating at the same time

poor Marshall lol

Not only can V-shart not hit anymore he no longer seems to even know what a strike is.

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thank you for this absolute legend Seattle

Okay I found Cruz's stats vs Detroit (not sure if it counts post season where he has hit like 10 HR against us)

71 G
298 PA
73 hits
14 doubles
15 home runes
42 RBI
.277/.359/.508/.867

I'm actually surprised it isn't better desu. I guess it is just a recency bias type of thing.

Is Avila juicing?

>these infinitely wide strike zones
I'm getting so triggered rn

>>75502544
No it's the two weeks or so out of every season where he isn't concussed.

Can't wait to read about him losing his shit and murdering his wife and kids in 15 years.

That lady really has a stuttering issue

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I left in the 2nd and I come back to this shit. What the fuck, how? 20 fucking hits.

Actually pathetic.

>sanchez isn't even trusted with an 11 run lead anymore

>>75502606
21. And five walks.

Wait wtf happened? How did Greene end up with 1.65 era?

I've missed the last four games or so but surely he hasn't pitched enough innings in that timespan to wipe out all his shit outings.

>>75502643
Stottlemyre Jr. has to be fired at this point

>arcade league "baseball"

>>75502714
Jokes on you our DH is V-Mart.

>greene

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>>75502714
>bases loaded
>two outs
>pitcher up
>everyone at the park goes and gets concessions

>ninny league """"""""""""baseball"""""""""""""

yeah no ill pass thanks

>>75502724
This. Our DH hits worse than pitchers

>>75502753
Bumgarner has got to have double the OPS of V-Shart.

>greene
You're fucking awful. Kill yourself.

I've figured out how Greene keeps his ERA low; by walking so many people he gets taken out and someone else retires the side for him.

i was told felix hernandez was good

>>75502887
Key word
>was
He's been washed up for 2 years but nobody on the ball club seems to be able to admit it.

>>75502870
Isn't his WHIP basically higher than his ERA? lel

>>75502950
After that inning: yes

It was 1.65 to 1.5 and that should put him over.

>>75502914
that sux senpai. he had a 2.14(!!!) era that year he lost the CYA to the lube cube

>>75502950
>>75502997
Oh fuck, disregard. I forgot he gave up a run. The point stands though: he's garbage.

>shifting on romine when you're losing by ten
Maximum faggotry

>>75503004
Yeah, I think once he moves past his ego he'll be a good fit later in the rotation. Paxton needs to shape up, he has Cy Young potential if he stays healthy and keeps refining his game.

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Based Big Play blessed the Tigres

>it's a Tigers bullpen can't throw strikes episode.

This bullpen is going to cause me to be suicidal

>>75503277
DANK
>>75503287
they re use this same script every day

Tigers BP pitchers I wish would kill themselves power rankings

1. K-Rod
2. Anibal Sanchez
3. Kyle Ryan
4. Shane Greene
....
..
....
...
99. Joe Jimenez
....
..
9999. Justin Wilson

>>75503277
>dating inside his race
Good lad. I like him even more now.

Why is this jackass blasting the rocky theme when his own team is trying to pitch?

I think Kyle Ryan might actually be the most useless pitcher in baseball.

Tigers bullpen might actually be a fuckin mistake

>Scribner

ruh roh

>>75503497
Not if we include all levels of baseball, Bruce Rondon still plays the game.

holy shit mahtook did something

Adduci is fucking elite

When Mikey Mahtook is styling on you you know it's time to give up.

We need to get Adduci one more ab guys. Gotta go for that cycle.

Is your batting average low? The mariners will hook you up.

Someone get that chick in a webm

>>75503950
I would but I'm too busy milking my prostate.

i fucking hate this pen. I can't even be happy when scoring 19 runs

Brad can't even rest his 2 non shit pitchers in the pen because the rest of these pathetic, useless,pieces of shit can't even throw strikes with a 12 run lead.

I don't think it could get any worse than this year. Might be the worst pen I have ever seen.

Where is k-rod? I mean, he'd give up 9 runs but at least he'd get the tying run out.

gg marinersbros if you're still around. Paxton will rape us tomorrow, so no worries.

>>75500431
Wizard