/heem/

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TYBJ

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just a lil heeminder

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>>75142955
NATTY GOAT

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just another lil heeminder

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Cynthia webms coming up. i donwloaded the whole event so you can make requests but im not promising

>>75143036
she looks like a gremlin

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>>75143036
If you can get the ref laughing at Cote doing all that silly bolo shit I'd appreciate it.

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>never trained a day in his life

3 striped captains in the Lost Battalion BTFO

>>75143074
Mexican Gremlin taking over the division my good friend

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*Gadoosh*

>>75143036
She is literally perfect.

>>75143101
>just went down to Sports Authority and bought some army shorts and a Under Armor shirt
>I think Cain is showing me a leg bar
>did you get the photo Esther? I don't want him to hurt me, I've never trained

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>>75143129

>>75143090
dont see it m8. he laughed at the end right before they hugged but thats all i see

>>75143101
what an honor that must've been for cain

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>>75143170

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>>75143036
Hola gringo I'm here to pick yo son up for our fuckin' date. Don't you worry señor anon imma suck his dick real good.

>>75142951
Mano, eu ainda sou um pobretanas, casa dos pais e desempregado, a vida não me sorri há muito...

>Conheço gajos que fazem uma viagem de 200km ida e 200km de volta todos os dias de propósito para virem para este gym, é o melhor de Espanha.

Qual gym?

Sabes de um telemóvel fixe por 100 euros? Tipo um top of the line já com algum tempo?

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>>75143188
Ah well. Going off of memory so maybe I'm getting the fights mixed up, thanks anyway.

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>>75143174
hey Coral Springs for sure 100% lose my number my man, Gadoooooooosh!!

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>>75143278

>>75143200
>thanks for letting me borrow this gi for this picture Royce, the dude's on Twitter are going to fall for this lol

>>75143189
He will literally NEVER be able to get wisdom imparted on him like that EVER again

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>>75143215

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You recognize who this is?

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>>75143287

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kek, i missed this wink during the broadcast

>>75143303
>Dana White

>>75143315
Is Justin Bucholz the best coach in MMA?

Also, Moose vs Cuckhold when?

>>75143304
yoelito is goodboy

Is it true Rumble is working with BLACKED?

>>75143351
>Is Justin Bucholz the best coach in MMA?
he definitely thinks so

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>>75143378
Ahh it still clear

But is it just me or Yoel sometimes looks like another person completely?

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DC is the GOAT
>choked out a gentle giant twice
>let him barely win the first round out of pity
>made him cry
>made him quit
>shook Jon Jones

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>>75143421
you may be right

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>log into /heem/ account

now that the dust has settled... how do you guys rate DC's promo cutting?

>>75143486
>>>/asp/

>>75143486
10/10

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>>75143421
His features from the side sorta seem like they don't match his features from the front.

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>>75143315
I love her.

>Nobody cares about Flyweight
>Nobody cares about Bantamweight
>Feathweight ruined by Conor
>Lightweight currently being ruined by Conor and Khabib
>Welterweight is fine
>Middleweight ruined by GSP and Bisping
>LHW ruined by the three nogs
>Heavyweight is fine

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coming in with a medium rare reem

>>75143315
she's great

>>75143562
I feel like Reem did some pretty homosexual things early in his career.

>>75143421
are you on steroids?

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>>75143574
lets not think such foolish things

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>>75143574
Reem did some pretty homosexual things at Schaubs apartment on Friday night if you know what I mean

>>75143562
dat horse meat diet did wonders

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>>75143550

wew

>>75143582
I sometimes take magnesium tablets

>>75143615
I think you're on steroids

http://www.tmz.com/2017/04/09/conor-mcgregor-dodges-traffic-ticket-in-liverpool/

HE CAN'T FUCKING GET AWAY WITH THIS! WHY DOES EVERYTHING FUCKING WORK OUT FOR HIM! ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR!

>>75142955
qt?

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>>75143631

>>75143421
he has stubble on his head in the other picture

Joe Rogan@joerogan
Wisdom from the great Joey Diaz. instagram.com/p/BSr7oBRBs7Y/

khalabib or tony?

>>75143734
drugs are not allowed here

>>75143647
> In article "Unclear why he was pulled over..."

Maybe the cops were just fans? Like he was speeding in a Rolls Royce.

>>75143101
Who is this off brand nigga?

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she really snaked that choke through the hand fighting beautifully

>>75143794
Cain velasquez

>>75143734
I hate him with all my heart but he's right on this one

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>>75143814
>mfw this roastie tried to defend more than rumble

Ngannou would destroy Overeem

Overeem is the better fighter, but his chin about as great as Arlovski's

Why are nogi grapplers so smug, like Tonon, Dannis and Ryan? Why can't they be good guys like the ones who put on the gi.

masvidal beats maia

>>75143870
Niggano is already a future champion since wed memed him into relevancy

>>75143814
How'd Pettis get out this position over and over against Oliveira like it was nothing?

Reminder that Oxbow is the OFFICIAL band of /heem/

https://youtu.be/6rRjyJhqnU0

New album is going to be sick
https://youtu.be/P_UYUOspkvg
https://youtu.be/lcx4DAiqiCA

>>75143818
Ah, haven't seen him in forever that I forgot what he looked like

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>>75143931
I feel it

Jacare

>>75143517
how well would a roided to the gills chris chan do at women's heavyweight?

Jacagoat

Cowboy we are not gonna lose in Denver

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https://twitter.com/gaydonator

Which one of you dorks is this?
>wmma

>>75144058
it's like an always sunny intro

"Cowboy, we are NOT going to lose in Denver"


>Cowboy Loses In Denver

>>75144035
My only dream in life is to see 265 lb women fight

>Jacaroid Usada'd Poopza
>Gayniggersfromouterspace Poosasi

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Rumble saying he didn't like getting punched or rolling on the ground with men made me wonder, who are fighters who genuinely enjoy fighting cause it allows them to hurt people when they otherwise couldn't and would literally do it for free if they could?

Robbie Lawler is one but who are some others?

>>75144092
>jacare
>peds
pick 1

>>75144091
i've seen it! two big ass mexican ladies were fighting over a pack of corn tortillas at a northgate in san diego, california. it wasn't even the last pack or anything there was like 30 identical ones right next to it

>>75143864
>roastie
cringing @ you /r9k/ beta

>>75144105
I want toothless chasing cowgirls booty.

>>75143555
>>Heavyweight is fine

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Guys, I'm crying right now.

Just looking at her picture makes me feel something strange inside. I guess you could call it "love". I'm in love with Cynthia Calvillo. I've lost interest in all girls, besides her.

Cynthia Calvillo really is all I think about all day, every day. I really do cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how I'll never be with her. If only she knew I existed in this life, if only she knew my deep profound love for her. I know that will never happen though. That is the thought that makes me so sad when I look at her. I'll never be with her, but I'll continue to love her until the day I die.

>>75143814
Does she like dick?

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Maple donut is best donut

>>75144116
put them in the octagon and have the ref have the tortillas in his hands

>>75144160
why did this faggot take his shirt off? he has his hat on lmao

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>>75144143

>>75143913
They act that way because they think it will make the sport of BJJ bigger. Everyone wants to see athletes acting like asses, so they do that act too. "We are tough no-gi MMA guys, kinda. Come watch us fight!"

I think it's wasted effort, BJJ is not going to become a big spectator sport. High level BJJ matches are usually boring as shit, blue and purple belts are the most fun to watch (by BJJ standards).

>>75144090
thicc

>>75144165
craving donuts now damnit

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Why are the best strikers always Dutch?

>>75144143
That's a man

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>>75144224

>>75144226
>superheavyweight

>>75144243
you spelled doughnut wrong meat head

>>75144090
>it's a dude in a training bra

>>75144232
great jab, love how he's able to chop down with it at ~0:03

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>>75144224
>>75144242

>>75144252
nobody spells it that way Liam

>>75144242
>Artem

>>75144243
>ultraheavyeight

>>75144275
Where I come from (Canada), we do.

>>75144313
no we don't

>>75144275
>Liam
>Not Li

Does anybody have a webm to when the camera cut to Jon Jones after DC won

>>75144232
longo is a meme gym. No hands on Weidman, none whatsoever on Sterling either.

>>75144327
you must be from vancouver where they spell it 甜甜圈

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>>75144343

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>>75144337
>tfw from the area and I know this is true

TAKE YOH TOIME, CHRIS

*milks illegal knee*

Is Serra-Longo a meme gym?

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>>75144334

>>75144404
*wont back down*

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>>75144417

>>75144411
serra-longo isn't a gym, but yes LAW (longo and weidman's gym) is a meme. serra's bjj schools are legit.

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>Jamie, pull that shit up

Which video do you pull up?

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I love you new york. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

>>75144449
Of a black quarterback running and his junk flailing around so that Shob can comment, "For sure that guy has a huge shlong my guy no homo"

any webm of Mousai's sweep and get up against Weidman's takedowns and top game?

>>75144417
>tfw i could heem every here

>>75144461
The Chris more like The Piss hahaha!

>>75144449
Royce Gracie vs. Minoki Ichihara

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>>75144480

I love you new york but you're bringing me down

>>75144378
He sounded like a soccer mom yesterday it was joke
I feel for him though, Weidman is his boy and that's a 3 fight skid

>>75144536
he still keeps fighting unlike Rousey who is on suicide watch

>>75144480
>>75144527
>yfw Weidman heel turn

>>75144449
The anderson/diaz highlight with that TI/Eminem track that was on youtube and then got taken down.

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>>75144488
Why incorporate Brendan into a response like that? That was just plain unnecessary and painfully unfunny.

>>75144558
Because that's literally what he said when they were watching black men do 40 yard dashes, and Brandon kept commenting on how big their dicks were to try and impress Joe.

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>>75144580
lol

>>75144417
SHOOK

>>75144536
Yeah, it's rough. He was doing OK in the Rockhold fight before that spinning shit...now he's gotten knocked out three times, half his face is paralyzed, and I'm not sure he'll ever be the same.

Opened the door for Bisping, too. Crazy to think that all this shit started with one silly meme kick.

>that bigass lottery scratcher.

My god.

>>75144631
He sucks and we were all honeydicked, himself included. Now he's having a mental breakdown over how his expected stardom career has fizzled out and he's just a top 10 fighter, not even top 5.

The lesson is to never set high expectations.

>>75144631
>He was doing OK in the Rockhold fight before that spinning shit
No he wasnt.

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>>75144449

>>75144694
Did that dude throw a headbutt at the beginning?

>>75144694
that guy has power

>>75144694
HE'S WINGING THOSE PUNCHES MIKE

>>75142955
Who's this semon demon?

>>75144722
yeah

>>75144686
Yeah he was

inb4 >muh scorecards

>>75144694
HAWAII 5-0 MUTHAFUKAS

>>75144824
lol youre the same faggot that tried arguing with me about this last time.

>>75144836
And you're still wrong.

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We can rebuild him, we have the technology

>>75144987
he's starting to look like the pisslord himself

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>>75144987

>>75144262
is ryan hall vs gray maynard the most meme fight of all time?

>>75145017
I was very impressed with Ryan Halls meme kicks in that fight

You think I'm just gonna sit there and try to be a face Jon?

>>75144417
I CAN'T WATCH THIS

EVERYBODY I CAN'T WATCH THIS

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>>75143486
>>>/asp/ / 10

>>75144417
He look greasy

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>>75144987
should he have higher fight iq or a stronger chin?

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>>75144449

>>75143486
stephanie has always been such a qt

disaster tits aside

GET OUT OF THERE TRAVIS

>>75143512
>His features from the side sorta seem like they don't match his features from the front.
that's about as accurate a description as there can be

also...weird to ask this, but could CroCop be, you know...of the "rainbow tribe"?

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< moose

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>>75144165
maple syrup is best syrup
maple brock is best brock
maple country is best country (but yours is also an excellent country)

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>>75144449
That TV show where he's standing in the woods looking like he's 4 feet tall

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i didnt want to believe the hype but as soon as the knee happened the ref separated chris and moose then when he goes to chris 10 seconds after the knee chris says
>"Both my hands were down"
and starts looking like he's hurt bad

he was coherent enough to put both hands down make sure the ref knew that his hands were down. he was trying to get the DQ. fuck wideman

i'll upload it to streamable if anybody wants. you can hear it clear as fuck

>>75145410
His head looks to big for his body

>>75144232
almost gsp-like with that jab

is The Chris just bad, tho?

>>75144262
>>75144242
he's like an Aoki wannabe - and that's good!

CLINCH

>have both hands free and available to block knees from hitting your face repeatedly
>put them on the floor and take the brain damage just cause you think you'll be gifted a win

Definition of backing down desu

>>75145458
>owie zowie my poor noggin!

USADA induced CTE he should sue the UFC

This will be my last post in /heem/

After seeing my two boys (Wonderboy and Chris) lose so many times in the past few months, my mental state has deteriorated. Chris was my hero, I used to listen to Tom Petty and imagine Chris regaining his belt. I used to dream about Wonderboy roundhouse kicking Woodley and winning the WW belt. I used to dream about Chris and Wonderboy one day posing together in a picture, both guys holding their belts, big smiles on their faces..Now I know that will never happen.

Now, the dream is dead. I'm off the team. Chris is done. Wonderboy is done. It was a good run, sure. We had some good times, or I know I did. What went wrong? I'll fall asleep asking myself that question every night.

I'm backing down. Goodbye.

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rate my walkout song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lsj0mY13t9s

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Other than USADA what went wrong?

anyway...

the 210 main card got worse as it went on, also does anyone else think Cummins/Blachowicz got robbed of FOTN?

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>>75145493
too real for me man

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>>75145493
See you next week

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>>75145458

>>75145465
SEPARATE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

>>75145493
NO
YOU WERE NEVER ON THE TEAM IF YOU BACK OUT NOW. YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT MEANT TO NEVER BACK DOWN

WHAT A FAGGOT

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>>75145375
There were some things in that doc that kinda made me wonder. I'm sure there are way more closet cases than anyone would like to admit.

>>75144694
big Orange has got some serious power.
never fuck with old men. never.

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>henderson btfo
>kennedy btfo
>cowboy btfo
>chris btfo
>holly btfo
>wondercuck btfo

>>75145493

>I used to listen to Tom Petty and

Stopped reading there

>>75145375
>>75145533
no that's just what ultra straight men are like. semi straights like yourselves are way too afraid of correctly being called out as [semi] gay that you would never be as loose and carefree as crocop.

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>>75145533
He's a man's man. The sort of strong silent Tony Soprano esque blow me and shut it and I'll love you type

>>75145538
how is he old? he's just bigg

>>75145543
>the end of your post

Stopped reading there

>>75145558
the greater the mass the older it is, has to do with gravity and time dilation and relativity and shit. look it up at your local library.

>>75145533
wow
very interesting

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what kind of record is this

>>75145558
he looks a lot older than the other guys
I mean, not 75 or anything, but in his 40's i'd guess

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>>75145568
>this man was older than time itself

>>75145596
they all look like late 20s, early 30s including floral print bungalow swanger

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>>75145493
>I used to listen to Tom Petty

i stopped reading right there.

faggot.

>>75144417
robbie williams on the left

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>>75145661

>>75145435
hgh

>>75145504
Luke rockholds ego.

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>>75145687

Who is the next middleweight to get deleted?

>>75145717
Jacare

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>>75145717
ufc is kill

>>75145717
Poosasi

>>75145717
Poopeepee Poouza

>>75145717
Pooel Poomero

>>75145717
Michael Bispoop

>>75145717
GSP

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>ufc will never have charismatic banger non manlets ever again and will fade into black

>>75145769
dude Pooel is a beast

>>75145798
thats what they said about Peedman

>>75145794
forrest wasn't much of a banger tee bee haitch

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>>75145794

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>>75145421
Fuck that faggot.
Moose needs to get that ICEMAN breathing training like reem and go on a killing spree in this division. Fuck that nigger, fuck that bong, fuck jacare too. Moose is ready to move up. Fuck weidman he is a crybaby. Fuck the rules its a fight, stop trying to milk the rules.

>>75145817
Poopare Pooza will come in doing his dumb aligator poo clap and then get knocked out cold

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>In 2017 UFC biggest card is GSP coming back after 9 years in UFO probes

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>>75145834
My thoughts exactly, Robin

>>75145820
Winnger of GSP/Bisping should have a superfight with McGregor.

TREE BELTS

>>75145860
How many PPVs did GGG do?

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>>75145717
>psp
>biscuck
>yoel roidero
>poosasi

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>>75145860

>>75145924
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_St-Pierre#Personal_life

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>>75145860
Faggots and kikes bought the UFC from the mob. They lost Jones, Ronda, and Connor. No Brock in HW. Lawler is punch drunk. All the cool normie fighters like California kid are done.

My favorite fighter is Cody Garbrabdt, had to watch that shit tier Ronda fight as the headliner when he won the title. The UFC is dumb for pretending the woman fights are top level.

Also, I hope Reem or Derrick Lewis puts away Werdum and Miocic soon. We all know brown pride is going to hide without the juice and the big guys are fun.

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>>75145932
wat

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>>75145968

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>>75145872
I hope Conan O Brian and the fags are ready to go into more debt and give up some of thier stake in the UFC fir Connor. Also, those investors are idoits. They will never make back 4 billion unless they go public.

>>75145980
but they will go public ...

Bellator will be the A show in 5 years.

Cap it, goofs.

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>>75145972
Goodnight Coral Springs, sweet dreams idiot bitch

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>>75145972

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>>75146002
Sweet dreams hater.

>>75145997
ya because I plan on sorting through my /heem/ screencaps 5 years from now insetad of driving around my flying car haha fucking dick rapist black guy fuck

>>75145997
Unnamed company ttat only has MW and above male fighters will win the market

mcgoober is gonna wreck casuals minds when he goes on a loss run

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>How can we save the UFC?
>Get me the decision guy
>Say no mo

>>75146070
Don't worry DC turned heel
UFC is saved

>>75146041
It's gonna be a tough balancing act. They can't give him squash matches forever but the bottom could fall out if he loses again.

>>75145636

Fuck you bitch, Tom Petty is rock n roll icon, motherfucker. Punk ass bitch, put some respect on his name.

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>>75146196
>tom petty "music"

it's like putting your ear to a sea shell only there is poop in the sea shell

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>you remember when chris weidman was good

>>75146249
>checks a leg kick TKO
>good

Hey, how about Weidman/Silva 3?

>>75146249
>2 flukes
>beat up senior citizens
>good

>>75146249
piss peeman was never my champ!!!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkN8V2Xogsw

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rmmt

>>75146388
>5'6 Tall

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>>75146388

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8okBgnUz-0

<3 RUMBLESQUAD

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>>75146388
>>75146388
>Keyboard warrior
>Honda pic
>noon belt
>5'6 tall
>conair best thing about ufc

Opinion discarded

>>75146470
Hes becoming a boxer btw.

>>75146480
El sosa?

>>75146480
I don't think he'd be able to with the way contracts are set up. Couture retired to make a Fedor fight happen and got totally cockblocked.

>>75146523
Restraint of trade aint legal even with contracts

>>75146530
Maybe not, but this battle's already been fought and lost. The minute Rumble tries to fight somewhere else he's getting hit with a giant lawsuit that can keep him out of work almost indefinitely .

>>75146480
he'll fit in nicely with his fight throwing

>>75143465
I seriously think DC is amazing at what he does. And makes what should be rough fights, look relatively easy. He is the Khabib of LHW.

But until he beats Jon Jones, I can't call him the GOAT with a good conscience.

>>75146558
Their illegal terms only work on MMA, if he goes into boxing hes fine.

>>75146572
and lets say K-1?

>>75146572
If that were the case then McGregor-Mayweather would be a done deal. Instead Goober is trying to force their hand by sitting out and refusing to take fights because that's all he can really do.

>>75143555
This is unfortunately accurate

>>75146585
K1 is mixed so the terms would encompass

Remember goober 'announced he retired' so he could get out of MMA for boxing? Then he backtracked, but essentially that indicated they restrict fighters in MMA but not boxing

o shit they try and restrict boxing too
yeah thisll be WME jew lawyers versus anyone elses jew lawyers


>>75146600
UFC

The Fighter hereby grants to ZUFFA the exclusive unrestricted worldwide right to secure, promote, arrange and present any and all mixed martial arts contests to be engaged in by Fighter during the Term and any Extension Term...

During the Term, ZUFFA shall have the exclusive right to promote all of Fighter's bouts and Fighter shall not participate in or render his services as a professional fighter or in any other capacity to any other mixed martial art, martial art, boxing, professional wrestling, or any other fighting competition or exhibition, except as otherwise expressly permitted by this Agreement.
Bellator

...FIGHTER hereby grants to PROMOTER the exclusive unrestricted worldwide rights to secure, promote, arrange, present, coordinate, create and produce all MMA, martial arts and unarmed combat contests to be engaged in by FIGHTER during the term of this Agreement and any extensions thereof.

During the term, PROMOTER shall have the exclusive right to promote all of FIGHTER's bouts and Fighter shall not participate in or render his services as a professional fighter or in any other capacity to any MMA, boxing, martial art, professional wrestling, or any other fighter competition or exhibition, except as otherwise expressly permitted by PROMOTER.

/Heem/inder UFC wants 80% of Conors fight purse when he fights Mayweather.

>>75146620
Shit sucks, man.

>>75146673
Not to mention they also have to negotiate the terms with the Mayweather camp. Logistically it's a nightmare, it'll only happen if WME is desperate enough to bend over and take it in both ends.

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>>75146673
>50gs out of 300m Dana yeahhh

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>>75142975
Insert Jackies face in place of Brunson.

>>75146709
This was one of the funniest fights I have ever seen, a classic

>>75146695
>>75146673
conor's angle is to use laywers to argue the Ali Act applies to him and thus the UFC cant prevent him from competing in other sports

he's trying to cut them out entirely

I run /heem/

>>75146723
hahaha thats a pretty good jew angle

Weidman did nothing wrong and is still /myboy/

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Who is getting injured first?

Who will miss weight?

>>75146746
None of them, you weirdo!

rizin ff 5 picks when?

if Frankie beats Yair and Aldo beats Max do we really have to have Aldo/Edgar III?

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>>75146709

>when Cody beats TJ the Bang Muay Thai Meme is officially dead

>“We’ve had a tremendous amount of support from the business community and other fighters out there. The only one that’s really been opposed to this has been the UFC itself. They came in and they said it wasn’t going to do anything and wasn’t going to make any difference. And I said, ‘Then why are you guys in my office? If you’re not concerned about it, if you think everything is perfect, you shouldn’t be too concerned about it. But the truth is they know what’s happening right now with the fighters.”

The McGregor Act of 2019 is gonna make WME broke as fuck and a lot of bums are gonna become millionaires

How big is DC's cock?

>>75146783
Dude it's small as hell dudging by how insecure he is.

>>75146771
you need a business to make money.

ufc isn't making huge profits, it's making meager profits. it could have 10-20 more million per fight fighters, and raise the rest by about 10-20k per fight. but they would require 2015 every year, to actually not post a loss

what mma needs is way more market and money.

they have no hard liquor sponsor, no bank sponsor, no travel sponsor, no car sponsor, no oil sponsor, no soda sponsor, etc

they lack the actual big money sponsors. tv deals, Harley davidson, reebok monster and budweiser are good, but they lack the big ticket.

Toyota, IMG, alphabet, Alcan, shell, trivalgo, grey goose

then ufc would be pulling in billions, enough to cover the massive espenses involved in a sport with paid regulators, paid drug testug, rented arenas and no government subsidies (nfl, mlb)

they average ufc event costs like 5-10x what each fighter is paid.

without a cloud of sponsors, and direct government handouts like alot of other big sports get, you can;t 50/50 the fighters. the best ufc years they still spent 2-3x their fighter expenses to produce, insure and promote their cards for only a 18% ROI

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>>75146783
The question is not about DC's cock but about the other person's

>>75143284

oh fer sher

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JUST

>>75146844
see
>>75146745

>>75146745
This guy is smart
People just love to throw literally everyone under the bus these daus

>>75146844
who will the madman lose to next?

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>>75146800