what would your managerial philosophy be /sp/?

>klopp

Gegenpress

I'll just tell my players to score more points than the opponents

just fucking cover the posts against corners, seems like every other loss is due to this shit

Invest in top flight prospect til they are coming out your ears.

buy low sell high

put the biscuit in the basket

bully the fookbois

Kick every ball high into the air. Anything comes near to you, hoof it.

Score more than the other team

Render the oppositions defence useless by just going for blooters

possession

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>>75131722
Just go out there and be yourselves.

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All you need to win is to score 1 goal more than the opponent; but remember,t he opponent also plays

You have to give 110% in every game and you can still win, lose or draw, you need to want it more than your opponent and you have half of the work done

>>75131722
I'd just buy Ramos and then sleep through matches. When journalists question my commitment in post-match interviews I'd yawn really loudly.

Total Football™

I have a roommate who proposed an attacking theory.

The object is to go straight to the penalty box, move about and position yourself and the ball in such a way as to draw a penalty. Don't shoot unless the goal is wider open than your mom's legs at night. The main reason is the probability of converting a pen is statistically better than the chance to convert on almost any shot from the field.

Pile thine flaws upon what made up about half of the 2014-15 Liverpool attacking strategy.

>>75131903
ancient gimmick

>>75132281
Hello, Brendan. How does it feel to finally win a league?

>>75132465
it's still funny to me

Be the most mental-hard bastards out their, lads.

Go make your mothers ashamed.

bribery bullying blooters

the BBB

>>75132500
yeh i laughed i hadn't seen it for ages

fight and win

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Return to a symmetrical classic 4-4-2 playing direct football.

buy refs, sell overrated talent

>>75131722
$5,000,000 for every out
$50,000,000 for every run

>>75132605
this

murderball, at least one injured rival per game

counterattacking 6-3-1 with two water carriers

Wheel and deal

>>75132451
it's hard to get the ball into the penalty box and then draw a foul
it also relies on your opponent actually fouling you and the ref actually giving you a penalty, both things you have little to no control over

Tap-ins & dabbings

>>75133775
Literally this and not
>>75133831
This
What a shit sport.

>>75132479
Just glad to finally be at a big club.

Condoms are for blacks and fags.

Creampies are patrician.

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cut inside and shoot with your strong left foot

>>75133972
He was replying to an Argentinean, not you. Spastic.

Atletico pressing and counter tactic

All players must no fap no sex and no substance. Must wear swimsuits in the showers. No swearing on or off the field. Mandatory prayer sessions.

>>75134803
all shirts tucked in

HOOF IT UP

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i would lure the players in with my sunny demeanor and then slowly turn into a dictator
lashing out randomly at the players until they all fear me
mouyes style

Velcro shoes that light up when you walk.

4-5-1 park the bus
quick counter
zonal
big physical guys
I'd focus on the academy

eleven 6'7' + players that just head the ball around the field

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i'll play a 2-3-5
3 strikers 2 wingers
3 defensive mids
2 centre defenders

the goal is to score score score

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>>75132632

Pick up the ball and throw it in their goal. Getting sent off is a mind set, ignore the referee. Smack the cards out of his hands and put them in your pants. If he tries to get them out that means he's gay and the ultras will kill him on the pitch.

>>75131722
Any player that fucks up, goes out

only buy french pretty boys

hoofball

>ctrl+f tiki taka
>zero result

Poop confirmed shit manager

>>75144173
t. arsene wenger

>>75144151
>Week 3
>The first team now consists of youth academy players

>>75131722
if you aint first, youre last

Mourinho style mind games

slate players to the press; make sure they never know where they stand with you

Laissez-faire

>become known for facilitating pre and post match circle jerks to build camaraderie
>works so well 4chan begins greentexting my tactic with a fedora wearing man

steroids and cocaine

The art of the dab

let the starter go until he himself says he's done

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>>75144173
I came here to post exactly this

>>75144549
I'd take this a step further and make sure the players never meet me face-to-face. They'll only ever see me observing them from my tower high above the training ground, with a cigarette and a sniper rifle on my shoulders like that scene in Schindler's List

>>75144868
>Any answer besides this one

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No pre-match chips. That's it

>hate simeone with a passion
>realise i would literally coach in the exact same way if i was a manager

fuggg :D

Dilly-ding Dilly-dong

Cap wages at a fairly low level but have bonuses based on results and individual performances

Recreational games of crabcock for bonding and morale

Flop like a damn salmon on the field, let the refs win games for us

>>75134588
Thanks, Lori

Pullisball, but more aggressive in tackles.

Put your playmaker in net

chat shit get banged

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mandatory anime sessions in trainings
bring prostitutes to the players at halftime
CL winners in 2 years

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>>75149649
This.
*hoofs it to the big lad up front*

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LAANG BALL TO TALL LAAD

>>75144938
>traditional belgian cuisine

I don't mind people putting ketchup on it but that watery translucent pre-cum sort of shite is DISGUSTING.

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can't say I know much about European football, but after viewing a few threads from the tournament that Ronaldo's team won, I'd probably have my team park the bus and then hoof it to my pacey niggers on the counter attack.

>>75134438
This

Keep the ball, pass it side to side and wait for mistakes in the defensive formation to make advantage of those oppurtunities

>>75150396
pretty much FIFA 17 irl

an agressive form of hoofball with a brave english 442 with this team:
>joe 'top lad' hart
>nathaniel 'top lad with a wanker name' clyne
>john 'top lad' terry
>ryan 'top lad' shawcross
>ryan 'top lad' bertrand
>david 'top lad but a bit poncey' beckham
>nicky 'bald lad' butt
>steven 'top lad' gerrard
>stewart 'top lad' downing
>andy 'top big lad, absolute class' carroll
>michael 'top lad' owen

Basically have a few pacy people with some strength like Hardy and long ball it to him. Fuck these "muh possession" teams

Cut in half and double it

Buy the most expensive players

>>75131722
Make sure you show character

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>>75131843
Genius

make 6-7 of your outfield players really fat blokes who can trap the ball in their bellies

literally just walk it in

Ban carbs just to annoy them

lang baal

Big Petey Crouch up top
A couple of proper hard center backs like Jagielka
A mad cunt in the midfield to throw in leg-breakers
A fast blackie on a wing to blame losses on
4-4-2 long balls

All English No forners
Brexit means Brexit

10 defenders + goalie

>>75150281

Vinegar?

no strikers, 2 inside forwards, a 4 man midfield consisting of 2 defensive midfielders and 2 sissies that prance around, and 4 lebron james in the back

>>75144868
t. diego simeone

>>75132635
This guy gets it

>>75131722

tikitakapressing followed up by 11 men behind the ball once im 2 goals up

maximum pace abuse on the wings
height abuse in the middle

hoof it up for the wingers to chase, big man in the box nods it in

2ez

rest of the team just proper hard cunts

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ez

Cutting inside has highest priority.

Just hoof it to fellaini

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>>75131722
>tfw it would uninonically be a 4-2-3-1 tiki-taka for me

Defending is 2 easy 4 me and I refuse to do it. When the opposition gets the ball, we'll stand perfectly still with Costanza 'ISHYGDDT' facial expressions until they give the ball back

The being of a being is not itself another being but being is always the being of a being

>>75132605
this

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>>75149649
>>75150208

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JUST DO IT

Pass the ball around the back and my goalkeeper and when the opponent tries to press my team immediately hoofs it to the two pacey whores on the wings to cross it to the big lad in the box. Literally unbeatable.

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Surround the opposing team into the circle, so that they can't escape.

Park the bus and have 3 of the fastest black players in the wolrd to counter attack

At HT I would replace the 3 of them for other fast af black guys

greentext on 4chan the night before and use the formation that /sp/ thinks is most of a meme

start every game with full stall tactics, pass it around the back, time waste, take it to the corner, play fucking arseholes that constantly wind up opponents, get into scraps and slow the game down. Tell the forward to do fuck all and not chase anything until the opponents are sufficiently wound up and vulnerable to counter attacks, win every game 1-0 or 2-1

>>75164724
Would love the team.

Defend deep and organized, exploit counters, buy every good FK taker and blooter merchant available, practice set pieces for 1h/day, no alcohol/coke/sugar/gluten, no holidays or day offs

guaranteed to stay up

hoofball

>>75164678
>4-4-2 every night

park the bus and play hard men football like murder the fags on the pitch like messi, tsu, pogba and all the memes, vinnie jones messi and tsu (altough he will like it).

Make player have fractures with hard fouls, etc.

>>75131722

Win.

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>>75144846
>>75144868
>>75144918

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>>75131722
>practice set pieces for 1h/day, no alcohol/coke/sugar/gluten, no holidays or day offs
>that flag
wut?

>>75148462
Hm, but then the players will fight each other for the ball and the glory. You need them to work together.

The bonuses for team results should be much bigger than results for individual performances.

>>75150396
This lad's got it

>>75165832
>>75166350
meant for him

>>75152099
But half those lads are retired you nonce

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>>75154157
Lovely jubbly.

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1 goalie and 10 tall defenders standing in goal with hands behind their backs, in 90' do a 10-man counter attack to win 1-0

>>75164624
>MLS

>>75165832
>no alcohol/coke/sugar/gluten, no holidays or day offs
Your players will hate you

>>75166914
Is this right at the beginning of a game?

That's fucking mental