/hoc/ - soon edition

Good op

Based Sweden being exactly on time

>>75066713
juuse saros will win a vezina

>>75066713
Gas the >rags

>>75066733
>>75066734
Good posts :)

>>75066734
ahl has a vezina as well?

>>75066740
Sweden,Finland,USA>>>>>>>>canadumb

Canada why the fuck are you arguing with the blowjobs retard. Everyone knows it is his first year watching hockey and his opinions are retarded. He said Saad and Foligno are easily top line players.

doggy dog world

>>75066778
I was bantering with a Caps retard. Did you mean me?

>>75066807
Objectively the best post ITT

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Going to make some lunch. Avocado on toast with some lemon juice S&P, cottage cheese, and an orange. Oranges seem to have dropped in quality a bit but damn were they good a month or two ago.
Are either of the highlights from last night's game worth watching?

>>75066808
>Canadian Pens fan
>Calling anyone else a retard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygsh23z4eMM

>>75066911
Thought that was a big old scoop of blow from from the thumbnail. Fuck I wish I wasnt a poorfag.

Friggin' Crosby
Is there a Methot to his madness?

>>75066958
Degenerate

>>75066959
cheeky

DAILY PICK EM
in time off occurrance PST
4:00
>Senators@Bruins
>Penguins@ Devils
>Islanders@Hurricanes
>Jets@Blue Jackets
4:30
>Lightning@Leafs
>Blues@Panthers
5:30
>Predators@Stars
6:00
>Wild@Avalanche
7:00
>Canucks@Coyotes
>Blackhawks@Ducks
7:30
>Flames@Kings
>Oilers@Sharks

>>75066973
coke is top tier, faggot

>>75066983
i tried snorting coke once but the ice got stuck in my nose

>>75066979
4:00
>Senators < Bruins
>Penguins > Devils
>Islanders < Hurricanes
>Jets < Blue Jackets
4:30
>Lightning < Leafs
>Blues > Panthers
5:30
>Predators > Stars
6:00
>Wild > Avalanche
7:00
>Canucks < Coyotes
>Blackhawks < Ducks
7:30
>Flames > Kings
>Oilers > Sharks

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playoffs tonight boys

4:00
>Senators>Bruins
>Penguins> Devils
>Islanders<Hurricanes
>Jets<Blue Jackets
4:30
>Lightning>Leafs
>Blues>Panthers
5:30
>Predators>Stars
6:00
>Wild<Avalanche
7:00
>Canucks<Coyotes
>Blackhawks<Ducks
7:30
>Flames>Kings
>Oilers>Sharks

>>75066979
Senators<Bruins
Penguins>Devils
Islanders<Hurricanes
Jets<Blue Jackets
Lightning>Leafs
Blues>Panthers
Predators>Stars
Wild>Avalanche
Canucks<Coyotes
Blackhawks<Ducks
Flames>Kings
Oilers<Sharks

>>75066996
i snorted coke once but then i attacked someone with my mora

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>>75067063
>>75067058
>>75066998
>3 posts with ducks>blackhawks
thanks for the confidence /hoc/

>>75067118
you got it senpai also, calgary won't win at the ponda which is FUCKING HILARIOUS.

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I have been on /hoc/ for many years and I dont recall ever calling a finn a mongol.

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O Lord we thank you for bestowing the blessing of the Bonaqua, Bulju, Jesse Puljujärvi the most dominate athlete of our generation and perhaps the history of the hockey sport

>>75067179
>YOU CAN"T WIN HERE
plus Giordonna got BTFO along with half the Calgary team. Fuck Flamesniggers.

how he ring with no king?

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lol

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>>75067211
WTF I love the mighty ducks now

Brad is a good boy and dindu nuffin

>>75067211
>>75067223
Should've been at the game lads, the moment Giordano knee'd Fowler and all hell broke lose, Calgary fans that were at the game started breaking for the exit and security was combing the aisles. It was pretty crazy.

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>>75067231
t.

>>75067222
so it ends just when the playoffs begin?

>>75067251
If anything it's just a rest for him for the playoffs, that's star treatment in the NHL for you. Fucking gay shit

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Is Nova Scotia the best Canadian province?
>Not a huge Asian community
>Not an oil shanty
>Not Winnipeg
>Not Ontario
>No frogs
>Not half french
>Not an island

C O M F Y
O
M
F
Y

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>finnish playoffs
https://twitter.com/Leinonen24/status/850018155405692932

>>75067264
I'll agree.
It's like Newfoundland but without all the shitty people.

>>75067223
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/mark-giordano-takes-cam-fowler-knee-knee-hit-video-045648852.html
>>75067239
I live in OC but am moving to Katella at the end of the month. Wish i could have been there man. I was at the last calgary game where we came back from 3-5 to win in the shootout. sucks about Fowler though. Good thing >we are deep on Defense and vatanen and lindholm should be back for playoffs. Got a kik/telegram/discord m8?

Now the DOPeS can pat themselves on the back for suspending him for 2 meaningless games. Good job fucksticks. At least now he has priors so his ratfaggotface cant get off with star treatment as easy.

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He's so handsome and with unbelievable hair
https://twitter.com/NHLBruins/status/848890697331691520

>>75067289
that nose is too small compared to his head

>>75067283
He's had lots of prior offenses, doesn't seem to matter. If he were a goon that didn't score goals he'd have been banned 8 slew foots ago

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Sharks desu

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This guy comes up to you and takes your 24 pack of Bonaqua that you imported, paid $50 for and waited 3 weeks for shipping.

What do you do?

>>75067375
Take his NHL spot

>>75067063
Snes < Bruins
Pongs > Devils
Islanders < Canes
Jets < BJs
Bolts < Leafs
Bloos > Panthers
Preds > Stars
Mild > Avs
Canucks < Yotes
Hawks < Ducks
Flims > Kongs
Oilers > Shorks

Trust me

>>75067375
>T-thanks Bulju. Y-you need the hydration more a-anyways.

>>75067316

A two-game suspension for elbowing R.J. Umberger in the head in March 2011.
A $2,500 fine for slew-footing Matt Niskanen in December 2011.
A five-game ban for a low-hit clip on Sami Salo in January 2012.
Two games for slew-footing Derick Brassard in January 2015.
A three-game suspension for clipping Mark Borowiecki in December 2015.
The $10,000 fine for tripping Kronwall.

Jesus the NHL is a fucking joke when it comes to this shit.

>>75067389
I trust you with my life

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>>75067365

>>75067375
y you too

>>75067410
>WESTERN
>CONFERENCE
>REGULAR SEASON
>CHAMPIONS

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bonaqua is literallly reddit

dasani is anti reddit

>>75067388
you can't take something that's not there

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The absolute madman

>>75067399
Notice how they change slew-foots to tripping and low-hit clip in order to make it seem like they aren't added offenses for the same thing and to levy less severe punishments for him. Also, sometimes he hasn't even been suspended or fined just "meetings".

>>75067441
you keep posting this. Don't say that they have started to bonaqua post in reddit for real?

St. Louis is a shithole and everyone there is a fat fuck.

>>75067456
"Sorry Pronger I was just coked out of my mind that game. I honestly thought Stralman was trying to take my stash. Did you see that though? I got him good."
"Yes Brad I did and I understand. But seriously you should knock it off. Gary told me that if you don't score 30 goals this year I am going to have to dip into your snowfund for these slewfoots"
"Sure thing Prongs, I'll score 30. Fuck the Lightning though haha"

>>75067452
What a silly monki

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>>75067459
its only a matter of time. all the redditors here crosspost /hoc/ memes to hockey

>>75067452
sauce?

>>75067519
>Pronger
>department of player safety
This should tell you all you need to know about what a joke it is

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>>75067560
Condors instagram

chicago is the reddit team in the reddit city

indisputable

>>75066713
Must win game tonight for the laffs and blots. If Tampon Gay loses they're eliminated and if the laffs lose they'll be in tough for against the pongs and the blow jackets to end the season while Tampa gets and easier last two games in the Habs and Sabers.

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>itt

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>>75067565
That was the joke I was trying to make there chap.

>>75067590
It was a good post m8, didn't go unnoticed

Will Brad Marchand take over department of player safety when he retires?

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>>75067586
nice
Patrik what is your steam name? Want to play some Stardew Valley when coop comes out? Is your QT gf going to play too :3

how can a modern nhl dynasty be considered reddit?

>>75067264
>no wheats
It will never be better than Saskatchewan

>>75067628
nobody considers the oilers reddit

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>>75067639
>Wheateaters
>Best

Kys

>>75067223
https://streamable.com/18jkf

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>>75067586
>that hairline on a teenager
gets me everytime

>>75067565
Its a department that keeps the players wallets safe from fines and suspensions.

>>75067673
I feel bad for him. Hes JUST'd in every way.

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>>75067693
EVERY way?

>>75067709
>tfw shit at photoshop so I can't photoshop away her hairline

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>>75067709
>Pro athelete settling for a 6/10
Guess he has a good heart. You're right, not totally JUST'd

>>75067616
laine is a self admitted sonyger. hes casual as fuck

>>75067754
ps4 = best console out right now

literally cannot be proven wrong

@75067786
see im not a 14 yo cuckold weeb so no its really not. go back to your fursona kid, maybe return to reddit?

>>75067802
>anything other than ps4
lmao kys yourself
nothing personell kiddo

>>75067646
Heres the facts boyo:
>Gordie Howe, the best player ever, was a wheat and his longevity is 100% because of his all wheats diet
>Saskatchewan produces more NHL players per capita than any other province
>proud small town wheat Brayden Holtby will win the Vezina for the second year in a row
Wheats run this sport.

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>>75067742
Auston future GOAT

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>>75067831
>producing 3rd liners and underacheivers

Jajajaja

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>>75067849
Reminder that Nate Mac loves the Jungle Queens

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*doesnt block your path*

god damn i hate finnish goaltending so much. i legitimately might kill myself if we dont win the stan lee

>>75067880
Start tying the noose faggot

>>75067401
I'm honoured to hear that, Canadabro

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>>75067880
see (you) in the WCF predsbro

>>75067950
i just can't see the ducks going that deep. their goaltending is suspect, and their star players ALWAYS disappear when the chips are down.

>>75067950
WCF at best

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>>75067880
>goaltending is the only issue with the perds
Oh my sweet sweet sunbelt child.

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>>75067950
>Ducks
>not choking a game 7 at home

Almost as crazy as the Snes beating the Leafs in a playoff series. Almost.

>>75067950
lmao

>>75067950
Jesus what a retard

>>75067854
>points by Nova Scotian NHL players: 1902
>points by Wheats in the NHL: 5861
This is the world wheats made. You pogey provinces just live in it.

>>75067264
Nova Scotia is fucking great.

T. Ontarian who has visited every province.

>>75067974
bernier and gibson are both GOAT level goalies.
perry and getz are starting to heat up at the right time. plus calgary will be an easy sweep. >>75067995
that was a bruce problem not a ducks problem. he's with Chokesota now.

>>75067950
Perds are probably passing the FlimFlams for the first wild card. Perds-Ducks first round.

>>75068031
>players not showing up in game 7 four years in a row is the coach's fault
lmao

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*blocks your path*

>>75067264
sounds nice, how can I get there and enrich the locals with superior baltic genes?

>calgary gets chicago or anaheim
LMFAO RIP

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>>75067880
>>75068059
Is this another forced shitty /tv/ meme?

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>>75068062
Take a sailboat across the Atlantic.

>>75067742
I am legitimately convinced Matthews is a homosexual
>Dat skin
>Dat butterfly

>>75068053
>implying Bruce hasn't done this with literally every team he has coached
>implying minnesota won't follow the same pattern
>>75068033
i'd be ok with this but would rather have perds stop shitcongo instead of them getting an easy path to the WCF

>>75068107
By butterfly do you mean bowtie? They aren't uncommon to wear at prom.

>>75068133
Oh, bowtie, yes indeed
It's pink is what I ment

>>75068107
He follows all the toronto bitties on IG, so he must be hiding it well. Also the bowtie is an underrated look IMO.

>>75068062
Just claim your country is a warzone. Trudeau will not only let you in, but give you free housing and an allowance

>>75068107
Having a good skincare regimen is gay?
Sorry I don't like being acne-scarred monster like you.

>>75068140
Pretty common for Prom as well.

>>75068142
It was more the colour I was on about

There's a video of him dancing somewhere as well.. from Browns' snapchat I believe it was

There's nothing wrong with it, it's just a guess

>>75068158
He clearly uses a lot of products, more than the lady next to him
It wasn't ment as a jab, I like Matthews

>>75068097
>tfw have distant family members who did this in 1944

>>75068147
should I rather pretend to be jewish, muslim or gay? which one will give me the biggest allowance?

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>"and then he said to me that edmonton wont win the cup this year"

edmonton won't win the cup this year

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>>75068237

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>edmonton will win the cup this year

So the edmonton shitposter is:
Phoneposter >inb4 pissjug copy pasta
In highschool
Only rebuttals are your mom and you mad
Proud /r9k/ poster
Frogposter
And believes Mcgaykid is better than Crysby

Anything else you want to add?

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First round exit here we come. I'm just glad to be here lads

>>75068182
Muslim. They literally just passed a bill that makes bullying islam illegal. Justin loves the muslims

>>75068313
Proven cumchugger

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>>75068359
>literally just passed a bill that makes bullying islam illegal

Jackets need to end this slide before the playoffs

>>75068375
http://m.torontosun.com/2017/01/28/canadas-so-called-anti-islamophobia-motion-is-nothing-but-trouble

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>>75068313
>The
There's around five of us not including Buttblasted who hasn't put his trip on in awhile

>>75068408
that's just sad

>>75068449
I wouldn't lump the rest of shitposting with THE edmonautist.

>>75067831
It'd be a disgrace if he wins over Bob

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The jest will poo the jackets tonight.

>>75068491
I'm not sure if you're the same guy who got BTFO by all the Americaitlyn posting but I'm 99% sure you get baited by two of us often, me included. You've called me the high schooler before and now you're calling him the high schooler.

preds vs. ducks

pls no, these are my two fave western teams

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>>75068505
>get elimanated from playoffs
>go on longest win streak of the season against good teams
FTGE

>>75068518
literally no way that anaheim is getting past nashville

>>75068630
the delusion is palpable

>>75068518
holy fuck this is all sorts of retarded

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Just came up with this new meme. Thoughts? Improvements?

>>75067264
>not an oil shanty
what exactly is nova scotia's industry?
couldnt be very successful considering you guys take federal handouts

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>>75068709
Meteorology

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>>75068709
Manufacturing
Some tourism
Trailer park boys sets
...

That's all I can think of

>>75068578
dubs and laine gets a 4-goal game, ends the season with equal points with matthews and the shitstorm continues next year

>>75068779
>>75068807
i always associate halifax as a university town(even if this is a half-truth)
cod fisheries are dead
any aerospace/defense corps are literally just hand to mouth with the feds

do you at least have a port busier than something on the st lawrence?

who are the most overrated players by position? i'll start.

goalie: brodeur

>Losing to the Sabres
Habs explain yourselves

>>75068850
>literally had a season cancelled and rules change due to his play

gtfo faggot

>>75068857
>season cancelled cause of fatso
lolwut

>>75068850
D: Orr

>>75068857
>he thinks brodeaur is GOAT
grease, stop using a proxy

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If I take those glasses off, will you die?

>>75068852
i dosen't matter anymore lad we clinched it all

plus lehner was a brick wall

>>75068886
one would think there would be a step inbetween GOAT and "overrated" but you autists only see in black and white so why bother

when is the draft lottery

>>75068850
D: niedermayer

>>75068864
do you remember a 2004 nhl season?

cause i sure dont

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>tfw no female pro player gf

>>75068939
the fatty wasn't the reason for the lockout, the salary cap was. they just took the opportunity to change a bunch of rules then. it'd be like saying tie games caused a lockout.

>>75068939
I do! The Leafs even won the Stanley Cup in 5 against the New Jersey Devils

I remember it, i do i really do

>>75068939
Brodeur wasn't responsible for that lockout, idiot.

>>75068964
i bet her nickname in the showers is "dustin byfuglien"

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>>75068939
>2004
that was a fun RSL season

>>75068989
I bet she has a bigger feminine penis than me.

>>75068864
>>75068974
He's talking about the introduction of the trapezoid. It was created because Brodeur was too good at playing the puck.

>>75069021
Yes I'm aware that rule but he insinuated Marty was responsible for the lockout, like they cancelled the season just for that rule change.

Marchand is a mammoth ugly fucking cunt

roy is far more overrated then Fatso McSisterfucker

>>75069021
and the devlols were a large reason why arbitration wasnt working hence the lockout

i can only imagine why they would drag their heels over a change directly related to their goaler

>>75069044
That part was dumb, but rule changes due to lack of scoring was part of the lockout. So Marty had a little to do with it.

>>75069000
i dont read cyrillic

who are those lads?

>>75069065
The lockout, well, both lockouts, happened primarily because Bettman and the owners are greedy AF. Its also why we're going to have a 3rd lockout in 2022 over this Olympic ruling.

>>75069112
Lecavalier, Richards, Kovalchuk

>>75069140
the 2012 lockout was again the devil and wild spearheading the issues

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Caps in 4
Pens in 5
Rags in 7
Sens in 7
Hawks in 5
Blues in 6
Ducks in 4
Oilers in 7

>>75069183
Boston is going to be the WC2

>>75069143
wooooooooooo

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>>75068560
I agree i hope calgary keeps winning so >we can BTFO of them in round 1. Also so chicongo doesnt get a bye all the way to the WCF.

>>75069205
Another delusional post by guess who... a Leafs fan

>>75069205
If Bruins win tonight, then WASH will throw the game on SAT in order to play SENS.

>>75069183
I think calgary will get 1 at home. Ducks in 5

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>>75068518

For me it's Prince Edward Island

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>>75069229
>Based dane
but the >rags making the finals would be meme worthy

>>75069229
.. Just noticed it's the outdated WC/Division standings for this
meh

>>75069183
>Pens in 5

wat?

>>75069262
In all honesty its probably still how it will end up

>>75068518
flim flams are going all the way.

>>75069255
I believe in the Ducks, Amerifriend!

>>75069240
For me it's Head smashed in Buffalo jump memorial park in Alberta

>>75069226
my point is the Leafs aren't going to be the WC2, they're winning tonight on OT empty netter. Book it.

>>75068707
Should have ketchup on the spaghetti.

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>>75069286
For me it's this guy, the 12th highest scoring good ol' Mantitoban boy

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>>75069281
For once i do too.
>perry and getz peaking
>D is deep af
>vatanen and lindolm will be back
>got rid of baby bruce
>bernier and gibson are both elite
>10th year anniversary cup run

What i really want to happen is fowler turns out to be ok and we get calgary in round 1 and he breaks Giordano's jaw.

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>blose getting past the first round
Are Reeves and Stewart going to fight?

>>75069319
>2 goalies

there will be your downfall

>>75069339
Nah thats a good problem to have

>>75069286
>looked it up on google street view
>realized I've been there before
>tfw no more places to discover

>>75069345
Could be if one gets injured. But mentally I think it is a disadvantage in a few ways.

>>75069318
His father was better than him
>>75069346
Physically or on street view?

Try Flin Flon or Moose Factory

>>75069240
Poor choice

>>75069365
It would be if either gibson or bernier were "me" goalies but they arent.

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The first ever Columbus born NHL player is making his debut tonight against the jackets

>>75069155
T
It was bombston's owner who was really pushing for it

>Jake Allen is the currently highest scoring active player from New Brunswick

>>75069380
>His father was better than him
True. That's what happens when your kids are born outside of Sweden
>tfw this means that the Nylander kids are doomed

>Physically or on street view?
On streeet view. Only been in Canada on street view and in my dreams.

Have heard about Moose Factory, but not Flin FLon. I'll check that one out. Thanks!

>>75069383
Can't go wrong with potatoes tbf

>>75069388
>first round
>calgary gets a lucky run of goals in a short amount of time
>coach decides to pull the goalie
>new goalie does well

fast forward to the next game

>new goalie loses
>now team doesnt know who to play/get behind

OR

>goalie doing really well
>play other tendy to give him a rest
>2nd tendy gets a shutout

im just spitballing here, but when was the last 2 goalie tandem to win a cup?

>>75069229
>Rags

>>75068505
Thanks for calling up jack roslovic

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>mfw Daniel Cleary is the second highest scoring player from Newfoundland ever

>>75069346
Look at this house https://www.google.com/maps/@44.9280313,-93.0763697,3a,75y,358.91h,78.04t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sdylrIhDgkj6Lo88ozW2h0w!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo3.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3DdylrIhDgkj6Lo88ozW2h0w%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D100.94713%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i13312!8i6656

That deck the staircase leads to looks over the river valley onto downtown. Must be a comfy view. I always swing by when im biking in the area. Very strange since it is a pretty shitty area, highest concentration of chicanos in the state.

How memey would it be if the >rags got pulju

>""""people""" actually think >rags have a chance against the habs

>>75069419
Again thatd probably be the case with bruce. But randy is a bit playoff savvy. Not saying that situation couldnt happen just that it more than likely wont. They'll go in knowing who's #1 and who's #2 and the leash wont be too tight. Plus cmon
>calgary getting any luck in Anahiem

>>75069229
>Ducks beating Oilers
>Rags final
Hmmmmm

>>75069393
Based Roslovic

>>75069479

they would have a legit change for the cup for once

>>75069495
Ducks beating oilers isn't a stretch. It's their first time in the playoffs in how long?

>>75069517
KEK

>>75069479
Don't even fucking joke about that. Don't give them ideas.

>>75069478
Pretty memey house if I may say so. But yeah, the view is probably pretty good.

I would guess that they either had money enough to build that house, but not enough to also buy a plot in a nicer area. Or they just like the view or something like that really much

>>75069415
Very cool, some cool sight in Canada is too remote for street view but I wish you good luck
>>75069495
Ducks Oilers would be entertaining series

>>75069522
Maybe not but considering the Oilers beat the Ducks in most of the recent games they've played tells me they might have an edge. But who knows honestly, should be an interesting first round.

>>75069479
They probably will. Once he's 35 of course.

>>75069495
Honestly don't see how the Shorks would beat the Oilers atmo
Thorthon is out too I believe?

Oilers v Ducks series would be intense too

Lundpads will find his mojo, only to be disappointed by his "mediocre" team

>>75069479
Don't wish busting on Pulju

What would be more humiliating for Pulju?
Going to the >rags or >kongs?

>>75069461
I'm pretty sure he'll be up with the team next season, pretty based

>>75069545
Yeah, Canada is pretty hugh. So that's pretty understandable, and we have plenty of places without it here too. There are a couple of remote places with street view in Canada though, like Cambridge Bay.
And thanks!

>>75069522
How can the Ducks neat the Oilers if the Ducks are getting knocked out in the first round?

>>75069575
meant to say second*

>>75069619
>rags
Tantalizingly close to victory, yet shit tier enough to fall short every year. Worse than not being relevant whatsoever like the kongs.

NY will win the cup this year
A true rags to riches story.

edmonton WILL win the cup this year

>>75069814
The original rags to riches story is true though.

Just here to help you kids out:

If you unironically come to /hoc/ for the sole purpose of getting angry at a dynasty, you are irreparably Reddit. Go back.

>>75069836
getting angry at the oilers impending dynasty is embarrassing tbqhfam

>>75069575
There's no 3v3 in the playoffs lad, I don't think the Oilers even have a win against them that wasn't in a 3v3 where they have an obvious advantage

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>>75069836
lmao who comes here to shitpost about reddit's team and their "dynasty". I come here to falseflag, call other fans niggers, making sweeping generalizations of other fanbases, get dank memes, and discuss other cultures.

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>>75069836
Reddithawks recent cup wins arent a dynasty. If any of those cups were consecutive I'd consider it, HOWEVER

>>75069862
This
>>75069652
Implying calgashit isnt getting swept.

>Neely just revealed in a Radio show interview that the Bruins will not be using up a year on McAvoy's entry contract this season but WILL use a year off JFK (if his visa goes through)

Wtf Cam

Why waste a year, there no fucking point this late in the season and he probably won't help in the playoffs if he slugging along the 3rd line.

>The Rat is 105th in scoring among active players
BUST

>>75069799
>tl;dr: finland

perfect match for the bonaqua man

>>75069956
That's why JFK agreed to come out

>the last time someone went over 110 points was henrik sedin in 2009-10
>the league now constantly struggles to have even 1 player reach 100 points
how do we fix this?

>le chicago isnt a dynasty because reasons xDDDD
most reddit "argument" ever

>>75070227
>give reasons
>hurr durr reddit

>>75070227
All sports dynasties have something in common: they won back to back championships

>>75069584
>Pulju is 35 and sitting front and center at the NHL awards
>his size is no longer relevant since the NHL outlawed physical play and his shot has diminished to a state where it is comparable to a Ryan Smyth clapper
>but he still has one thing left that sets him apart from other players. That makes him special
>the award show goes smoothly
>the Hart for MVP to Laine
>the Norris for best defenseman to Ristolainin
>the Masterton to Jagr, now past 60
>the Sean Avery for best pest is shared amongst all Canadian players
>the Atlanta memorial trophy for best franchise relocated from Atlanta goes to the Saskatchewan Wheats, formerly the Atlanta Braves of MLB
>the Crosby trophy for outstanding bravery by a homosexual player goes to Sven Muhammad
>all come and go without much fanfare
>finally Bettman slithers up to the stage to present the NHL's most coveted award
>a hiss escapes from the commissioner's mouth
>"I would like to announce the winner of the Dustin Byfuglien memorial trophy"
>"the award for fatest cock in the NHL goes to Jesse Puljujarvi!"
>later that evening the general manager of the new york >rags approaches Pulju, congratulating him on his tenth such win in a row, and poses a question
>"as you know, the Rangers are a seriously undersized team bellow the belt. The smallest in the league in fact. We'll pay you by the inch if you'll give us your services"
>an offer Pulju can't refuse
>that evening he signs an 7 year, $112 million contract as the newest member of the new york >rags

>>75070225
Smaller puck

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>>75070261
>"the award for fatest cock in the NHL goes to Jesse Puljujarvi!"

>>75070256
you cant win back to back championships WHEN THE FUCKING LEAGUE DOESNT FUCKING LET YOU PLAY THE GOD DAMN SPORT

go back cuck

is okposo kill?

>>75070297
literally what?
Why didn't the blockcocks win in 2014? How did the league "NOT LET THEM PLAY THE FUCKING SPORT?"

>>75070319
there was a fucking lockout you reddit cuck. im done feeing you (yous) now fuck off back there

>>75070351
The lockout wasn't a full season you ignorant retard, and that's the year your shitty non-dynasty team won the cup. Forever *

>>75070361
So what about last year?

>>75070351
They won the cup the lockout year you faggot, which makes it even less notable.
The next season was 82 games, and the Kongs won, so where's your Reddit excuse for that?

>>75070369
What? You never watching a game unless your bandwagon wins =/= a lockout

>>75070387
If the hawks are a """""dynasty""""" why didnt they repeat last year?

How thoroughly BTFO is the reddithawks "fan" right now?

Who cares if it's a "dynasty" or not? They have 3 cups in recent history either way.

>>75070431
He's absolutely seething and probably writing a new Reddit post about it right now, hoping for a hefty collection of upbotes.m from is fellow Redditors on /r/hawks

>>75066979
Senators < Bruins
Penguins > Devils
Islanders < Hurricanes
Jets < Blue Jackets
Lightning > Leafs
Blues > Panthers
Predators < Stars
Wild > Avalanche
Canucks < Coyotes
Blackhawks > Ducks
Flames > Kings
Oilers > Sharks

>>75070460
They have 2 and a *

>>75066979
>PST
is there a more comfy timezone for hockey

>>75070225
Add tertiary assists

>>75070488
ive literally seen the asterisk argument on reddit hundreds of times. you really need to go back

>>75070225
Make the goal bigger and force the goalies to stand up more

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>>75070531
>ive literally seen the asterisk argument on reddit hundreds of times
>ive
>seen
>on reddit
>hundreds of times

>>75070556
its a meme you dip

>>75070225
Make blocking the puck a 2 minute penalty

>>75070225
Let players sit all of their penalty minutes, no coming back onto the ice if a goal is scored

>tfw josh lievo is gonna get traded because hes not a grinder and doesnt PK

what went wrong with the leafs?

>>75070225
Make the goalies wear an eye patch so that they lose their depth perception

>>75070225
Officiate the game based on the rulebook for once. The NHL has let clutch and grav sneak back into the game.

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>there will never be bonus 'multi-puck' events at random points in the game

>>75070225
Let the goalies choose between using two gloves or two blockers with sticks

>>75070225
give every player a 20 point bonus to start the season

>>75070225
Throw away all sticks, make the goal at least 3 meters wide and use curling stones instead of pucks

>>75070225
based fucking henrik
>tfw you can never go back in time

>>75070634
>goalers all choose 2 sticks to take up more net
>even fewer goals are scored

>>75070225
Play with 3-5 pucks at the same time

>>75070684
B-but it would look funny

>Ovechkin scored 65 goals, 112 points in 82 games back in the 2007 season
>Ovechkin scored 33 goals, 68 points in 80 games this year

What fucking happened?

>>75070577
The one good idea.
A 2 minute penalty should be 2 min regardless if other team scores or not

>>75070711
caught the reddit bug. realshame since it can happen to anyone. im just glad based kane stayed away from it

>Mario scored 60 goals in 69 games while he had fucking cancer, back in 1992-1993
>Not a single player over 50 goals this year, and only 1 over 40 goals

What fucking happened?

>>75070742
goalers were shit then

>>75070711
There's been rumors that he's been injured almost the whole season.

>>75070731
>the one good idea is the one I didn't come up with myself
I will never be the next Don Cherry

>>75070711
>>75070742
Not enough goons in the league. Players who can"t skate or play defence contribute to offense by getting scored on

Harvard bout to get btfo

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For me, it's Artturi Lehkonen

>>75070898
Until they graduate and make 300k starting

>>75070898
who are /ourguys/

>>75070902
For me, it's arthur lakeholme

>>75070970
wew so they can pay 5% of their debt.

>>75066959
Study the nba's approach to professional sports and bring the flop to his

>>75070898
if they don't adjust the ice size, and nobody goes, why even have it at an NHL rink

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>>75070261

>>75067995
i saw the lalime choke live. it was the cringiest thing ever.

>>75070711
>People actually think Laine is anywhere near Ovi