/PL/ - Midweek Fun Edition

>poop
>mouyes
>flopp

>tfw blades get promoted at the weekend

Why do Britongs call soccer "football"?

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>having to issue a statement because the referee is incompetent
lel

>>75055722
why do Americans call school "target practice"

>>75055733
jesus how do you fuck that up

>>75055733
wow this is major fuck up by a ref

>>75055766
>>75055773
The only positive thing from that is it had no impact on the result because Newcastle won anyway.

He'll surely be demoted to another division at the weekend.

MOTD: >>75055809

>>75055733

>The referee and officials literally didn't know a fairly basic rule that the vast majority of fans know

How in the name of fuck does something like this happen?

Xhaka was bretty good today

>>75055676
>Sunderland v Manchester United (Sun 1:30pm)

>Moyes

>>75055856
He had Elneny to do all the dirty work for him, allowing him to focus on creating. Like Behrami for the NT, or Kramer at Gladbach

>John Stoned

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Shakespeare would have won them the league again.

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>>75055676

>>Liverpool 2 - 2 AFC Bournemouth

>>75055921

He'll win them the Champion's League la

And the PL next season

>>75055766
>>75055773
>>75055839
It was part hilarious, part "what the fuck is going on?" Everyone was trying to find a different reason to explain it cause they didn't think the ref could have fucked up that badly

>>75055990
>win the champions league
You what islander? You mustve drunk too much

>>75056076
>Leicester teams in the Last 8: 1
>Russia teams in the last 8: 0

>>75056076

Leicester have meme magic on their side

>>75056111
>EPL
>Swansea City AFC
>Cardiff City

delph had the most 6/10 performance I've ever seen in my life

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>>75056076
>Odds on LCFC winning the Prem - 5000/1
>Odds on LCFC lifting the Champions League - 50/1

>>75055921
He really wouldn't.

>>75056149
Neither Swanea or Cardiff play in an "EPL"

>>75056286
>English teams are that weak, that Welch teams take place in premier league of England

Who will get bought from Middlesbrough once they get relegated?

>>75058413
Gaston and Valdes

>>75063736
If that's it then it shows how rubbish they are

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what went wrong?

I don't think Fabregas will start much more unless Conte starts a 3-5-2 next season
He's been getting more starts recently but has been performing worse than when he comes off the bench

>>75063976
good post

>>75063959
If I had to guess I'd say he beat his wife

>>75055722
Why do Americans think supermarkets are toilets?

>>75063959
Being Nigerian

>>75063959
>leicester fans were gloating at how musa was going to be their next big thing
wew

Good thread

>>75065028
Yes.

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You say that you need me
All of the time
Say that you want me
Always be mine

'Cos we've got Marco Silva
We've got Marco Silva
We've got Marco Silva
So glad your mine mine mine mine

>>75063959
tbf Leicester winning the league all started with racism and prostitutes, maybe this is the next beginning

>>75063971
he's been very good from the start lately.. however, the mistake is taking that into a tougher game like city

in a 2 man midfield cesc can't handle the defense like matic, but is ideal against lesser teams.. then he is able to start in the 2 behind the striker in tougher games

the bigger issue was dealing with Sané.. azpi and pedro doubled up on him all second half and the one time he got past them (when pedro was out of position) luiz was there to thwart the ball into the stands

>>75064918
he at least got some playtime, other than the signing I thought would be one of the signings of the season, kaputska

>Jesse Lingard agrees new 4 year deal at @ManUtd. This will see his wages treble to £100,000 a week.

We officialy now /PL/?

At least it properly reflects the name of the league

>>75063971
>>75065980
My ideal formation with current players is a 3412 with Fabrgeas behind Hazard and Pedro who is the more striker of the two.

>>75063959
>'wife beating'
>questioned
I wonder how severe the beating was for a newspaper to put it between quotes and the agressor be questioned and musa was
>released without charge
after being questioned. Doesn't seem too serious

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*beats the champions*

>>75065980
>he at least got some playtime, other than the signing I thought would be one of the signings of the season, kaputska
that's true

completely baffling that he got zero playing time whatsoever despite being great at the euros

will probably return to the continent this summer, which is a shame

>>75066541
Good for him

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>murrica

>>75067230
>bournemouth without a nickname

>>75067230
Fucking cringeworthy

>>75067230
Someone fucking burn it down please

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>>75055676
whose ready for the return?

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>>75067230

>>75067230
Lol, my TV guide shows it like:

>English Premier League Soccer
Chelsea - Manchester City

I've never seen it like your screen cap and it's making me cringe.

why does bournemouth get 3 straight Saturday 5:30pm prime time games? kind of odd desu

>>75067725
Apparently that's how it was displayed on Comcast.

>>75067774
Meanwhile, Hull have no scheduled televised games until the end of the season.

>>75067806
is that due to blackouts? or not enough viewers? or just them being an irrelevant team at the moment

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>>75067858

They have to show each team a certain number of times, we've hit that and we're not exactly fashionable even in the middle of Silva's revolution.

>>75067230
What the fuck man

Can we all agree the PFA POTY will be confirmed meaningless when Hazard ends up winning it again

>>75070455
it'll be kante I reckon

>>75070455

I reckon they'll give it to Zlatan for the profile

>>75070513
Maybe if he scores a shit load more goals and gets top scorer, but I doubt it.

YPOTY will probably be Alli. Watch Coutinho make the team of the season again for no reason at all.

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>>75067230

>researching who is the unofficial world club champion
How are you guys spending your thursday night?

>>75070642
Making Big Sam memes

>tfw finally I can relax after Watford all but assured survival

Get in here and exhale with me, Hornet bros

>>75070999

Niang has been such a great signing for them.

>>75070999
>bandwagoning Hertfordshire Mercenaries
why

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>pretty much officially relegated
We gotta stop tying and losing and win some games
Come on Boro

>>75071241
Boro have been a cancer in the PL this season.

>>75070952
Top lad.

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>>75071261
That hurts

>>75071320
Karanka played the most negative and unproductive football seen in the PL in years.

>>75071320
Every game was such a chore to watch. They've been trash.

>>75070513
he's shit
missed more clear cut chances than anyone in Europe, no where near top scorer and his team will finish 5th or 6th
Plus the players vote and they hate him

>>75070526
I can probably predict the TOTS now

Kane Costa
Hazard Alli Kante Alexis(or Mane)
Bertrand Alder Azpi Walker
de gea

>>75071475
Definitely Mane over Sanchez

>>75071497
Mane is out for the season though
If Alexis goes on a good run he'll get it if he does fuckall then its Mane

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Updated roster.
>captcha street toilets

Trumps just launched airstrikes on a Russian base in Syria.

Who's gonna win World War 3 league?

>letting /epl/ die

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>>75067230

>>75074978
>again

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>Tottenham Hotspur v Watford (Sat 12:30pm)
Spurs
>Manchester City v Hull City
Mancs
>Middlesbrough v Burnley
Burnley
>Stoke City v Liverpool
Draw
>West Bromwich Albion v Southampton
West Brom
>West Ham United v Swansea City
Ham
>AFC Bournemouth v Chelsea (Sat 5:30pm)
Chelsea
>Sunderland v Manchester United (Sun 1:30pm)
United
>Everton v Leicester City (Sun 4:00pm)
Everton
>Crystal Palace v Arsenal (Mon 8:00pm)
Arsenal

My acca is at about 6k if that comes in. What are we saying?

Is he autistic?

https://streamable.com/sp2bh

>>75077753
kek

Non-league not even REMOTELY welcome.

>>75077692
Hull will get a result
Boro Burnley will be a draw
The others are pretty difficult to call aside from Spurs and man United winning

>>75077833
Give it a rest, m8. We're trying to revive /epl/

>Chelseawinslol

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I've been spending that past 2-3 weeks putting together this little football "simulator" instead of revising. It has all teams currently in PL, Championship and League 1 and uses a bunch of RNG to simulate league matches and playoffs, then promoting/relegating and going onto the next season.

I just ran it for 1000 seasons and here's the PL in 2999/3000. Book it lads

Key:
>Prev 5 Seasons = positions from last 5 years, obviously. It's negative if the team had a Lucky season that year
>WGHT = weighted average of those last 5, affects the RNG probabilities in each match
>TOP = if the team has been in the top 7 of the PL for the past 5 years, they get a boost up to Top Team status, giving RNG boosts. If a top team finishes outside the top 7 for 5 straight years they lose this status
>LUC = lucky season, gives RNG boosts. Helps to shake things up every few years
>UNL = unlucky season, opposite to above
>UNB = unbeaten season, only ever seen this twice, doesnt really do anything
>RICH = teams can get randomly given the Rich Team boost for ~10 years, another RNG boost
>TITLES = number of PL titles since 2016

I know nobody cares but I'm really proud of this

>>75077945
You should probably fucking revise, mate

Anyone saved any screenshots of that chelsea fan that looked like he was stuck in the 80s?

>>75077849
Non-league shitter detected.

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>Wet Spam

Watford please beat Tottenham

>>75077849
>We

>>75077945
How's life on the spectrum?

Pretty cool it seems

>>75079262
It's just programming practice with algorithms and all that. I've got a software internship in the summer so I have to do something

Well, I guess that's it mane

>>75078204
Watford are out of form. No win

>>75055733
>misapplied the law

Interesting wording

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>livercucks

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Why are manlets so stupid lads?

>>75067230
>listing the away teams first

Jesus Christ, how horrifying

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Watch out top 4, we've just signed Josh Gordon from Stafford Rangers.

>>75081016
>Joshua Caleb Gordon[1] (born April 13, 1991) is an American football wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns of the National Football League (NFL).
That is some signing

>>75081034
What are you on about?

>>75081053
>We've just signed Josh Gordon
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josh_Gordon

>>75080626
I really don't get why American sports do that.

It's just silly.

So at this point of time I suppose Arsenal fans are backing for Chelshit to win the title right? At least better them than >Sperm.

>75081441
>chelshit
>sperm
Are you 12?

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>>75067230

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>>75081716

>>75081716
>not every team has a nickname
Maybe THIS is why burgers can't get into footy. I've solved it lads.

>>75081716
>vs. Everton
lol

>>75081716
>just everton

Is Janssen elite now?

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>>75082126
yes

"Leyton Orient's team news for tomorrow[s game vs Cambridge] is set to look bleak as all first team members are injured"

https://twitter.com/didierdrogba/status/850418411255590912

hazard seems like a fun guy

>the bristol rovers shitposter is now using an indian proxy

>>75082335
how the fuck does that even happen

>>75083544
They have no doctor

>>75083607
>italian owners
not even once

>>75083544
They haven't been paid for like a month so they've all come down in "injuries"

>/PL/
ummm what the f*ck is this?

At least we got a goal out of it.

>>75083838
enjoy lingering in the championship forever

you're never coming back up

>>75083838
>>75083873
Thank fuck for it. Most undeserved promotion ever

>>75083873
One day we will.

>>75083913
>this delusion

>>75083936
Okay buddy, whatever makes you happy.

>>75077692
>betting on a team yet to win away all season
Muggy as fuck desu

>>75078183
Fake news
Compare results v same games for an accurate image

>>75084454
>3 points away all season
>At Sunderland, Hull and Man United
MOUYES

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>>75077974
Pic related. Apparently he's a season ticket holder and was at the game in 07 looking fa as fuck

yep, we're dead

>>75058413

Adama, maybe Negredo and Fischer

>>75077753
>https://streamable.com/sp2bh

Fuck that monkey

alright a noon game tommorrow for newcastle

>>75058413
Valdes
Traore
Gibson

>>75079387
good post

>>75086655
truly

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*blocks your path*

>bundes moves faster than EPL

Rly makes u think...

>>75055676
>Calling it pl

Fuck off it's impossible to find

>>75094297
what's going on at Forest Green Rovers then

>>75093461
Well EPL doesn't exist so it's not hard

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TODAY
O
D
A
Y

>>75094483
Is the day the collapse start?

>>75094577
Depends if you accuse Billy Sharp of raping you or not

>>75094297
>Forest Green think they can buy their way out of the National League
>the brave Lincoln Imps led by the Cowley brothers have utterly cucked them this season

>>75094596
>tfw Aldershot beat them in the play-offs

>>75094483
finally

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*speeds towards da premiership*

>>75094628
>>75083758

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>>75094628
*gallops underwater towards the premierl eague*

>>75094680
I wonder what seahorse tastes like

Stoke will win today.
And what a good day it will be.

>>75094715
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NEXHhQP5F0

>>75094740
Well then

Shan't be trying

>>75066775
I just want to let you know you're appreciated, dutch bogsim poster.

>>75094793
I bet it's actually good dried with a beer or ten.

>>75094806
So is basically anything.

FOOOOOTBAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Picture the scene, Spurs sweep away Watford with Kane scoring a hattrick on his return. Bournemouth grind out a draw with Chelsea. Lead cut to 5 points.

hmmmmm. It could happen

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>>75094820
Actually no. For example crisps need to have a distinct flavour, and meat can be too strong.

Spurs XI vs. Watford: Lloris; Trippier, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Davies; Dier, Dembele; Son, Dele, Eriksen; Janssen.

Watford XI vs. Spurs: Gomes; Mariappa, Cathcart, Holebas; Janmaat, Cleverley, Doucouré, Amrabat; Niang, Okaka, Success

>>75094885
>no pau López

>>75094841
Knowing Spurs, Watford will win 1-0 while Chelsea annihilate Bournemouth

>>75094885
Hopefully he'll sub Kane in to try to win the game and will get injured again because he was rushed.

>>75094885
Genuinely feel bad for Janssen

He'll lay the ball off to Son or someone, who will score but no one will notice and everyone will shit on him again for not scoring.

He'll also fluff a chance and Alli will yell at him

>>75094925
>knowing Spurs

What? Still 8 games to go it's too early for a Spurs collapse. Not dramatic enough unless it's within the last 4 games or so.

>>75094939
Janssen has been getting plenty of praise for his last few appearances. Nobody is shitting on him, we desperately want him to succeed. Seems like a good lad

>>75094885
Spurs have got this easy.

>>75094950
11 points ahead of Arsenal, the collapse has to start now if they're going to finish behind them

>>75094958
I want him to succeed too and you can tell he's giving it his all but he really is dutch Soldado m8

Will be sold to Bournemouth or some Ligue 1 team by 2018

>>75095022
He's young enough to make it, with Poch in charge.

We all thought Lamela was completely useless too but under Poch he became a really good player.

Can someone explain what the fuck the idea behind Spurs buying Sissoko was?

They have beter players in every position he can play in, he's a known cancer, and he cost 30m.

>>75095077
One of the great mysteries of the 21st century. Why did Spurs buy sissoko?

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>Football Focus wanking off about how good Harry Maguire is

Shhh he's staying.

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I also have £5 on Cause of Causes e/w in the national and got Pleasant Company in the sweepstakes in work

>>75094939
I saw a vote for him for MotM in midweek and I wasn't sure if he actually did a good job or if it was a joke about him

Have to give Spurs credit. Lamela injured all season, rose walker Kane vertonghen and alderweireld all spent significant time injured this season. But they're still up there.

Spurs have more strength in depth than they get credit for

>>75095077
>he cost 30m
this
>looked good during euros
>cheap
>buy
>fanbase thinks the team got better
>shekels remain in the bank
he was bought because he was cheap

>>75095106
It was genuine. He made a huge impact and pretty much won us the game

>>75095110
>30m for a non-dabbing pogba
>cheap

What

>>75095084
Pls sell him for Stones money, want that sweet sell on clause cash

>>75095107
They paid for that in the cups, though I don't remember against who they lost in the league cup.

>>75095121
30m is nothing nowadays

shit, only the dabbing upgrade cost manure 120m

>>75095130
Liverpool away

>>75095138
Eh kinda understandable then

>>75095130
Played a second string and lost to Liverpool

Still in the fa cup though. 2nd place finish and a trophy would be an excellent season

>>75095150
>and a trophy
That would require them to win twice at wembley (and beat Chelsea). That ain't happening

As an aside, did anyone else want United to beat Chelsea in the cup so that we'd have two local derbies in the semis?

>>75095157
Spurs can beat anyone.

>>75095167
Not Ghent, apparently.

>>75095185
>Ghent

>>75066541
>His wages were previously £33,333.33

>>75095077
Panic buy, they wanted Isco but he wanted to stay in Madrid.

>>75095121
In a world where Ryan Mason costs 15m, 30m is nothing.

>>75095190
>tfw he's earnt more since he last played than I have in my whole working life

Watching this game at home with a couple of nice cold beers

I love early KO lads

>>75095185
Spurs can beat anyone isn't the same as Spurs will win every game ever, mate.

>>75095219
They should sign Musa. He'll beat anyone

Tottenham collapse starts today lads

COYH

What is it that caused kammy to go from meme to fucking everywhere suddenly?

is this the match thread

>tottenham episode
>dual of the fates starts playing
wew lads

>dual of the fates

I don't care what you think about star wars or the prequels, that song is pure patrician kino.

>>75095250
Got to have the meme song.

>Not walking out to Sandstorm

Proof Watford are Patrician club

Tottenham: Lloris (C), Trippier, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Davies, Dier, Dembele, Son, Eriksen, Dele, Janssen
subs: Lopez, Walker, Wimmer, Nkoudou, Sissoko, Wanyama, Kane

Watford: Gomes (C), Mariappa, Cathcart, Holebas, Janmaat, Cleverley, Doucouré, Amrabat, Niang, Okaka, Success
subs: Pantilimon, Kabasele, Eleftheriou, Mason, Zúñiga, Capoue, Deeney

>>75095246
>>75095262
Will meme ever start having a meaning again?

Do Watford have any British players?

>>75095265
>>75095297
What's up with poo in loos?

>>75095289

Dont be a memehead you stupid meme, it was a good meme

>>75095304

T-DEEN
T-CLEV
C-CATH

>>75095305
Trying to get people to watch their shitty cricket league.

How can you manage a club without speaking the language of your players?

>>75095340
Hire a translator. That's how Mou got his big break into management

>>75095340
Football is an universal language la'

In case you weren't aware, West Brom v Southampton is for the title of unnofical english champion

>>75095439
Explain

>>75095466
Imagine if football titles were awarded the same way as boxing, I imagine

>>75095466
Imagine the title like a boxing belt. You win it by beating the current holder. Worked out from the first team to score the first goal in the FA Cup and followed through right to the present day

>Kane literally staring with his mouth wide open
Seems like a nice guy but there's no way he wasn't beaten over the head with something or fell off a tree as a kid

D E L E
E
L
E

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Who is taking the final relegation spot then?

West Ham have 33 pts
Palace have 31 pts
Hull have 30 pts
Swansea have 28 pts

Hull can probably expect 6 pts from their games
Swansea bit harder to predict, probably 8 pts
West Ham look hopeless, need 4 pts from Swansea and Sunderland to survive
Palace can pray for 6 pts, probably not enough, willl win aganst one of the big teams, probably Liverpool

My moneys on Swansea

>>75095966
I think West Ham could take it, they seem a bit in freefall

>>75095966
Will most likely be Hull, but i want it to be West Ham so desperately.

>>75095994
If they don't win v Sunderland they are fucked

But 1 win puts them on 36 and their GD is a lot better than Hull's
Unless Spurs choke on the last day of the season v Hull

>>75095966
>Olympic stadium in championship

>>75096078
don't act like you wouldn't want to see that

Try and tell me that Son Heung-min isn't the Korean Messi

>tom cleverly
Poor little white boy

>>75067230
doopin' mental

>>75096122
That's what i mean

Liverpool lineup:

Mignolet, Clyne, Lovren, Klavan, Matip, Milner, Can, Wijnaldum, Alexander-Arnold, Woodburn, Origi

what teh fuck

I like League One. Go Dons!

>>75096459
u are a cheeky cunt

/3pm/: >>75096530

>you will never have a secret handshake with dele alli

Who do you think will get sacked first? Poop, Plopp, or >mouyes

>>75096564
Klopp, after he misses CL again next season

meme prediction: replaced by Brenny

>>75096564
I can't imagine Pep getting sacked but I can see him resigning

>even in a simple walkover victory against relegation nobodies Bravo doesn't know how to use his hands

>Wor Rafalution

why the fuck is newcastle playing so bad

SHELVYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>Barca

MOTD: >>75106015

best rovers team for the past seventeen years

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before today our best league position in that period was the 08/09 season
but by winning today we equalled that record and we still have twelve points to play for