Official /turnleft/ STP 500 @ Martinsville Speedway Race Thread #2

bullshit cawshun to save krylel fuck france

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She's off the market folks

a fucking ziploc bag

I bet Kyle's wife is cucking him and that's why he's regressed to being a raging spaz again.

A FUCKING ZIPLOC BAG

For once we actually need a new thread

/a/ holdovers here or something?

A FUCKING ZIPLOC BAG

>debris caution for a ziploc bag
>and a spring rubber

>>75007672
No she's not, she already posted the engagement was an April Fools joke.

>>75007687
nascar actually racing at a short track instead of a boring 1.5m cookie cutter

>>75007679

Don't want anyone to asphyxiate

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>18 stays out

guarantee his tire blows soon

>>75007678

That would imply someone other than Kyle was willing to fuck that hideous beast.

>>75007672
>April 1

First for Kryle is krying about Cucky cucking him

>>75007706
Negroes

>>75007694
That spring rubber is legit
Shit like that can get launched into the stands

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>ziploc bag on the track

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>18's tire going down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brfPfbZ_jNk

who /blackknight/ here?

ACTIVATE IT

>>75007672
>as if Danica hasn't cheated on a husband before

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>>75007687

I'm in these threads every week ladtachi

>>75007746
i love those marble races

i would like to see a long season

will Chase Elliott ever figure out how to restart?

>>75007672
Danica actually said "no" so Stakehouse pretended it was just an April Fool's joke. He's crying into his helmet right now.

if kyle gets cucked by brad hes going to have a meltdown

>>75007780
When Kasey Kahne figures out how not to be a fag

>krut
NO

This has been a wild weekend for Suarez

suarez arca-braked krut

he has to go back

Haha Suarez btfo Trump wins again

>CAWSHUN
cousin taco is ded

Suarez just got deported to the garage

>Krut

based blaney got some damage in that as well

[ARCA Brakes in Spanish]

>steakhouse

:( After all the good he did

Jones was slow but he blocked the low line. Scrub.

Austin needs to learn how to push cars out of the way if he's going to drive the 3. He didn't have to be the one to spin out there.

So, do we like the repair clock or not?

Whats an arca break?

>>75007892
Yes, but it's incomplete. Points need to be the same for everyone below 25th, so it doesn't interfere with points.

This has been a really good race.

>>75007871

Frenos de ARCA

krut kill

the 41 looks like a late model now

krut ded

>>75007892
it just caused krut to crash

if they had a proper amount of time to fix the car he may not have wrecked again

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>>75007920

>>75007892
Some ok cars are going to get DNFs but I think it's for the best. Sorry kurt.

>>75007920
>ARCA Braking (Verb)
>The act of not slowing down for a yellow flag and driving into the back of cars that have slowed down or crashed.

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now krut is ded

>>75007892

They need to make it like 10 minutes

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>krut ded
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>75007986
How low does your IQ have to be to just drive into a crash like that?

>>75007986
who /sportsman/ here???

>Krut

SHR has been getting an ass whipping so far this season.

>>75007986
no brakes no spotters

>>75008038
They've been running decently all season. It's just this week they suck.

Overall this has never been a strong track for the organization.

>>75008038
both haas f1 cars dnf in austrailia too lel

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>>75008038
>ass whipping

muh 5 minute clock

poor Blaney
The curse of a fast car and a slow pit crew

>>75008094
i hope he doesn't actually drink that beetus

>frog

Meme frog puts an end to this good racing.

THE BK CAUTION CAR STRIKES AGAIN!

NO BULLY THE BLANEY

>>75008029
just be an average autist

Danica banging on the backstretch

CAWSHUNS

>Gaulding

SHADILAY

>>75008149
BREED

BK is fucking paid to throw these yellows

Man this short track stuff sucks. Can't wait til we go back to a real track like Texas. Over 200 into the corners and more aeropush than you'll know what to do with.

Women can't race at real tracks like this which require racing skills.

>>75008154
CASHEWS

Why do they even let the shitty teams like BK Racing and Premium race?

>>75008124

part of the 21's technical alliance with penske is that the 21 crew is essentially the practice squad for the 2 and 22. it's a crew in training, essentially.

>>75008170
to provide cautions and

>muh full field

>>75008159
Pleb spotted

>Danica calling Buescher a rookie
lol he's won so much more than her.

>>75008184
this kills his chances of winning a race basically

>>75008189
Danica's had half the field pissed at her today

shadilay

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why doesn't this guy have a NSCS ride?

I thought Brien French banned teams from driving cars with no front end like Suarez is doing

>>75008219
he's redpilled

>>75008219
why wont his own brother put him in a truck

Whatever happened to Brian Vickers?

>>75008230
No, they only banned replacing sheetmetal.
Not driving without it.

>>75008249
I thought he retired cause of blood clots

>>75008249
He can't risk blood clots developing again

>>75008249
blood clots

>>75008249

he died of blood jelly disorder

>>75008249
Blood clots.

>>75008249
Allegedly blood clots and other health problems ended his career. I no longer see him in the blood thinner medication commercials. If that sponsorship has ended, his career might be over as well.

>>75008249
Blood clots

>>75008249

i heard it was blood clots or something

i know who is going win the race

>>75008159
>short track stuff sucks

Please Don't Watch Our Sport

>>75008249
blood clots

>>75008249
Clots of blood

>>75008249
probably blood clots

If you could have 1 shot to kill one of Brian France, Dave Hoots, DW, or Mikey without any consequence who would it be?

>>75008327
myself

>>75008327
Who takes over in the case of Brian's death?

>>75008327
leave based Hoots alone
he dindu nuffin but put it out

>>75008249
blood clots and vickernism

Goddamn this is a sorry ass crowd. I was at Fontana last week and the place was packed. Why the shit crowd here?

>>75008327
brian france, as long as someone with a brain takes over nascar afterwards

>>75008249
Blood Clots

>>75008327

the correct answer is obviously france

>>75008249
blood clots.

>>75008355
It's like NASCAR is more popular out west and up north than it is in the south these days

>>75008327
Waltrip

>>75008296
Those ads also had Arnold Palmer, so they might be re-shooting them.

>>75008327
Eddie Gossage

>>75008327

blood clots

there's your random BK wreck

Does Sorensen have a meme name?

>>75008327
France's death would be the most likely to benefit stock car racing.

>>75008342
this desu

>#15 car
>The Ghost of MWR

>>75008389
>sorenshit

>>75008327
Not sure possible the whole blood clotting thing

>>75008389
reed bloodclotenson

>>75008249
the HIV

They call it blood clots because they don't want Johnny Redneck knowing that a bunch of AIDS infested faggots drive NASCAR.

>>75008389
>sorenson, I am dissapoin
t>>75008372
>Arnold Palmer
he's dead, right?

>>75008368
Wonder why? All these southerners bitch about Vegas getting two races and fuckin martinsville doesn't even look half full today. I would love to be there right now.

stenhouse wins and fucks danica in the ass on victory lane

>>75008389
blood clots

>>75008249

Sponsors are scared to sign with him because of his recurring health problems and he doesn't want to sign with a shitty team just to ride around.

>>75008440
Yeah, it's not good optics to have a dead person starring in a "life-saving drug" commercial

>>75008448
>implying she wouldnt be the one fucking him with a massive strapon

>>75008445
no races are half full anymore

theres a reason they have the camera super zoomed into the cars these days

>>75008445

i also blame the southerners for darlington and atlanta losing 1 race each.

go to the races, you fucking hicks

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>>75008461
holy kek

>>75008445
Vegas has always had good attendance
I've seen a 70,000 strong crowd for the Truck race in the fall out there
It sucks the 2nd cup date is a September race next year though

WATER


COOLER
DALÈ

>>75008448
danica wins and sits on the monster girl's face

>>75008488

The second date is going to be shit too when the Raiders start playing there.

>>75008474
As I said before I was at Fontana last week and it was packed.

is New Hampshire Motor Speedway really as bad as people say?

>>75008504
I'm worried about the temperatures
It can be 105-110+ temperatures in Vegas well into late late September
It was close to 90 last month and everyone was baking in that sun

>>75008488
Thinking of driving out there from San Diego for the September race any tips?

>>75008094
>1 race win from 3 great drivers
>not shitting up the season

choose one

>>75008501
would pay to see this desu

>>75008529
read the post above yours and bring water

>>75008522

NHMS is great as far as the setting and tailgating are concerned. The racing can be "boring" but most tracks suck these days

>tfw no one even remembers that biffle is gone

>>75008533

>3 great drivers

Clit is almost worse than Danica.

>>75008550
who?

>>75008507
That's because they removed a quarter of the seats, jackass.

>>75008550
>roush will never win a race again

>>75008550
i didn't even remember he was there most of the time

>>75008550
No one cares about concession stand employees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxEhlqtoR2k&

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>>75008572
DELETE THIS

>>75008372
I forgot about Arnold Palmer's death. But, yeah, if one of the celebrities in your medication ad dies you should probably pull the ad.

It's strange to see Chris Bosh have his career ended for the same reasons. Athletes with blood clots are a liability I suppose. It would be really bad if one of the players had a stroke in the middle of the event.

>>75008550
oh damn i didn't even notice

>>75008571
They still filled twice as many seats as martinsville and martinsville is half empty, go fuck your sister

>JR will never win a non-plate race ever again.

>>75008616
Fucking letarte. He's been championship contender tier with good crew chiefs

what was greg biffle's endgame?

>>75008639
He's going to replace Brian France

>>75008644
I'd be OK with this

>>75008445
You're confusing internet autismos that are obsessed with 2005 because it was the first season they watched with race attending southerners.

>>75008639
jerkng off during a race

>>75008529
You need to specifically ask that your escort not have a penis.

>>75008572
>tfw no more martin krut kenseth and biffle broship

What's the most recent NASCAR game, is it any good?

>>75008683
No

>>75008639
avoiding boris said

The Tide car looks too modern. The retro liveries are much better.

I can't wait for Darlington.

>>75008659
I wonder if there's ever been a driver who was a compulsive masturbator and jacked it during the race, I'm thinking somewhere like at Le Mans before the chicanes with the 3.5 mile straight

>>75008683

NASCAR Heat Evolution

Same physics as the old NASCAR Heat games but there's so little content that it isn't worth $60

>>75008683
nascar 99 for the n64

>>75008683
NASCAR Heat Evolution
Barely any better than 2014 and Inside Line.

>>75008632
>Tony Eury will never be Jr's crew chief again

>>75008711
Playstation version was superior tbqh

>>75008529
in all seriousness, LVMS is a good time
Neon garage tickets are 100% worth it
Expensive to drink at the track, so bring a cooler and do some tailgating

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>>75008716

>>75008716

All insurance companies are pretty shitty, but Auto Owners is the worst company there is.

>>75008725
>2004
>one of best drivers all season
>6 wins and a couple memes away from the title
>Change crew chiefs

RRREEEEE

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>>75008716

>>75008716

accurate

>>75008639
Greg Biffle's racing career was all an elaborate prank to get back at the kids who made fun of his jacked up teeth in grade school. Jokes on them because he got to be on tv with his nice, new teeth every weekend, smiling his way into a comfy retirement.

i like mike joy but he called that as if the car was barrel rolling thru the crowd

>Geoffrey

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>>75008716
I don't get the difference between the bottom 2

>that sigh
Even the commentators think Jeffrey's equipment is pathetic.

>Jeffrey Earnhardht

Why is he such shit? You know he sucks when his own unlce wont even give him a ride.

>>75008683
>Hey Kyle

>cumming cumming cumming

>>75008794
Toyota and Chevy

>>75008794
One's a Toyota another is a Chevy

>>75008794
There's a small bass pro shops sticker on one

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>That sigh from Mike Joy

How will Kryle blow this race?

>sighhhhhh

>>75008794

one if from before Truex turned heel

>>75008794
Blood clots

>>75008757
This picture is depressing in a comfy sort of way

AWOOOO

Why can women win in drag racing?

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>>75008716

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>tfw $driver will never win another race

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>luckstomp

>>75008853
No turning

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>>75008709
>tfw you just want to jack it

How the fuck can people watch Drag Racing?

>>75008853
stamina not required
long term focus not required

>>75008870
still somehow more exciting than F1

>thats a much bigger penalty, you have to go alll the way to the tail end
why do they say this every single week?

Crowd look like shit for a "crown jewel" race desu

>>75008870
They're fun to see in person

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>>75008855

who drunk here

>>75008853
Drag racing is literally all equipment

It's more of a mechanic's sport tbqh

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>>75008892
delete this

Give Chase your energy lads \o/

kyle will get cucked with about 20 to go

>>75008870
Apparently it's good in person because the pits are open and you can get up close to the cars

How many laps to go?

At the laundrymat atm and they don't had FS1

>>75008914
is an engine a athlete?

kek be with Truex \o/

>>75008917
\o/
pls be my bf

>>75008926
Do they make pit stops during drag races?

>>75008868
I was just watching this the other day.

pure kino

>>75008943
They completely tear down and rebuild the motors after every run

>burrito

>beanburrito

>it's a Kyle-Kes-Logano-Larson wins episode
fuck this. When does Jimmie get to win?

>>75008943
Only to swap cars when the battery gets drained

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>>75008940

>DiBurrito

nooooooo

KRYLE
R
Y
L
E

Didn't DiBurrito finish 6th in this race last year or was that Bristol?

>>75008959
Homestead

>>75008977
brsitol

I hate seeing DiBurrito have trouble. He's a really good guy.

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>>75008982

>the tires are too squishy

>>75008982
>2016 champion was ninth in points
>2015 champion was like 20th

Sheetz sponsorship
Nice

why does kyle whine so fucking much jesus

>>75008977

Bristol. Also got 9th in Daytona this year.

Ky Busch is such a cunt.

>drives a Ford
>sponsored by Corvette

>>75008892
not a crown jewel tho

Daytona 500
Southern 500
Brickyard 400
Coke 600

winston 500 was before brickyard

>>75008977
bristol

>>75009023
Makes me laugh every time. They got a good deal on Fords.

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whats worse

being stuck in xfinity or riding around in a Circle Sport /BK/Rick Ware/FRM car in Cup?

>caution every 10 laps at Indy
>fans never show up to a race again
>30 lap caution at Martinsville
>fans never show up to a race again

Will NASCAR fuck ups be the death knell of every circuit?

lol what

BIG JUNK

>f bomb

BIG ONE

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BIG JUAN

>>75007986
>I now remember Dan Pardus
That takes me back

JOOONBUG

>Hamlin

>What the fuck happened back dere

>FoxSports1 in charge of censoring

>what the fuck happened right there?
>good question
Based NASCAR

>What the fuck happened right there
top kek

what the

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK

happened right there

BIGGUN
I
G
G
U
N

>>75009110
fine incoming, oh wait, it's one of france's favorites, jk, no fine, lol

Denny/Danica fisticuffs when?

>>75009078
There's hardly anyone here anyway.

>the city of the earnhardts family racing
What went so incredibly wrong?

Jr is having a shit year so far, even by Jr standards

i love seeing danica rammed in the ass

>>75009145
danica would kick his ass desu

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>

Took a break for beer.

What the fuck happened?

BIG JUAN

BAYNE?

>>75009174
Kek.

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FUG

Time for a caution snack
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wA_ufrO_E8

>>75009181
>What the fuck happened?

Exactly

>yfw you realize Denny is the reason Carl Edwards retired to start a Subway franchise

>>75009132

Mike Joy is a fucking boss.

>"He hit at ten, two, AND four"
>"Oh my goodness, the caution is out."

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>>75009198
>the state of this mans luck

>>75009181
Hamlins car fucked up spinning out Danica and wrecking a bunch of people behind them. Jr busted a radiator he's done

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>making excuses for Hamlin

Danica should fuck that manlet up

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AYYYYY PUTOS

>>75009200
I guess that's an improvement from the Dorito sandwiches he used to make.

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>>75009220

>>75009078
>30 lap caution
I had forgotten about that mess.

>>75009200
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twnIEJdzzws

I bet Jr. wins one and clinches a spot in the chase. He's capable of winning anywhere, not just with a restrictor plate. Jr. really has a lot of unlucky shit happen to him that is out of his control.

Jeff Gordon finally enjoying retirement.

Will Jeff get fat?

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>announcers are now concessionposting

>Jeff Gordon eating more hotdogs than ever before
>implying the Rainbow Warrior didn't suck down hundreds of "hotdogs" during the 90's

>>75009283
Damn those look good

TROOX

MEME RACE

next week will be wild for concessions

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>>75009287
If by "hotdogs" you mean "wins" then...

>>75009283
They do that every Martinsville race.

>TROOX

>Troox

>>75009291

They are.

My local short track near where I went to school had the originals, though. They were a little better than the Smithfield hotdogs they have now.

>>75009304
>old points format

Wake me up...

Can't wake up....

SAVE MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

>pooX

>tfw no valence

>>75009304
>Mayfield finished 7th once

Cool

>>75009304
>the city of Mark Martin

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>tfw no gf

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>subtracting the stage cautions

>>75009304
No one on that list is an active driver anymore except Memechek and maybe Bobby Labonte.
Feels old man.

>Bread the absolute madman

>Jr referencing John Force
Fuck. I just realized this is on FS1 because Fox wants NASCAR fans to watch NHRA. That's the reason for the network switch.

yeah brian we need more 1.5 mile tracks

>>75009379
There was a massive turnover right around 2000 and now it's finally happening again with Edwards, Gordon, Stewart, and Biffle. A lot of the big names are around 40 and will be out soon.

>>75009379
Skinner is still in trucks isnt he?

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>this racing

>kryle and bread wreck each other
>autism wins

Good racing here boys

>>75009439
I don't want this

>>75009434
Last ran full time in 2010. Ran 1 race each in 2011 and 2012

>>75009434
He's too busy being "The American"

>>75009439
on National Autism Awareness Day
pottery

the incoming late BK caution will change everything

This is absolute top shelf racing

Damn kes is all over him

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>>75009379
>checked list
>could have sworn Mike Skinner was still running trucks
>remember why you heard his name recently was his job on The Grand Tour

>>75009425
How many years do harvick junebug jimmy and kenseth have do we reckon?
I feel nascar will be offically dead once jr and jimmy retire

are they the only rivals left

>>75009495
2, maybe 3 tops, massive retirement incoming

>ywn have fangirls

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>DW constantly seeing Danica work out

>>75009495
Jr will never completely retire. They will reanimate his dead corpse every year for the Daytona 500.

>Darrell creeping on Danica at the gym

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>danica is feisty

Danica will bring out the final cawshun

this >>75009541 is probably true

We're listening to DW's brain fade away on live television. It's awkward.

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>>75009542