/tennis/

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first for dfw is a hack

>>74901629
post the keber porno lad

How soon?

>>74901590

post what?

>>74901586
>soon
not soon enough reeeee
>>74901643
more than one hour to go, at least. it immediately follows the Venus Williams match

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I know I go to hell for this.

>>74901645
that stupid collage of kerbe and the hideous pornstar that looks slightly like her

tig total potato face

>>74901760
post it

>>74901820
i don't have it. i would never save such a thing

Women should play just one set desu

>>74901860
5 sets lad. make them earn that equal pay

>>74901860
nah should be 2 full sets and third set is tiebreaker

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Thanks for not sperging out Hans

>>74901860
Men too. Tennis gets boring really quickly.

andy roddick's last name is a conjunctuon of two slang words for penis :--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------D

>>74901639
>>74901820

This!

>>74901760
>pornstar that looks slightly like her
Now you got me excited!

Also someone post a link to the website that finds you pornstar look alikes.

>>74901932
faggot i can tell by your prose that you are the one who created that retarder kerber collage. kys yourself

anybody here?

>>74902406
yeah we waiting for the kerber porn

Miami is so shit lmao
so many stars dropping out

if wawrinka doesn't win this, I'll cry

>>74901586
Nice active thread faggot

>>74902501
last hundred posts in the last thread were also slow tho desu

we're all waiting for soon™

>>74901943
Not really. I'm the /bundes/ poster btw

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>>74902701
is mario playing soon?

arruabarrena's outfit is boner inducing

>>74902837
who?

>>74902837
pics?

Has there ever been a tennis player that was really good with both hands so they could just hit forehands only without ever having to hit a backhand?

>>74903156
no

>>74903164
Why don't they do that? Why not try training somebody from like the age of 2 and then by the time they're 18 they'll be good with both?

>>74903222
there's some but they don't win anything. because well the weaker hand will be even weaker.

>>74903222
think that's not a viable strategy. they'd lose a lot of time switching hands and switching grips between the shots as they run around the court trying to position themselves for the next shot
Rafa used to hit two-handed forehands and two-handed backhands when he was younger. that's kind of close to what you're talking about. Toni told him to ditch it and it worked out pretty well for him
I'm sure there are people who do what you've described but none of them have been good enough for us to have heard of them

thank you based Venus

>>74902793
He fat and ded

F A B I O
O
G
N
I
N
I

FAGNINI

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>MFW FABIO WINS MIAMI

Fabio with the win over Chardy after pulling out all the the dirty tricks known in the tennis world.

>>74903459
a couple of net cords. hardly his fault

>>74903459
Why do you write so formally?

>>74903494
I like it

>>74903515
*it.

>>74903486
I'm not talking about that, man. I'm talking about the artificial MTO he created in the 2nd set after hitting his racquet and some other random physio breaks to receive some massages to his forehand.

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What a shit OP. I'm out.

>>74903531
oh okay, I wouldn't know. I just watched the 3rd set

>>74903535
ikr. it's not even funny either

ZEIT FUER RAFA

>>74903535
dont leave me baby

>>74903494
Just my style, man. Didnt know it was that notoriously formal.

Probably has to do that I post here as a way to practice my english aswell, that's why I try to write as good as possible most of the time.

ITS RAFA TIME BITCHES
THE TRUE GOAT

>>74903637
write as well as possible*

(not meant to be a dickhead but to improve your english)

Kolschreiber is the blandest player on tour.

>>74903652
*English

>>74903661
no u

>>74903652
Thanks, man.

>>74903667
tfw too smart for my own language

>>74903668
Tell me one notable feature in his game.

>>74903689
>tfw 2 smart 4 rulez

>>74903690
no,but not because i cant.

>>74903690
He has a 1hbh backhand. That's always nice to watch.

>Carlos Bernardes

>>74903751
>michael taylor

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>the literal goat (Nadal) playing
>tennis channel shows arruabarrena x keys instead

JUSTO

>Rafael Nadal

>>74903751
One of the few umpires that doesn't give in to Rafa's antics.

As much as I like him, I also can't stand his lengthy pre-serve routines. I don't mind him picking his butt or all the other shit he does because of his OCD, I'd just appreciate it that he did them quicker.

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Do you think Djokovic will win a slam this year?

How many ATP 250 will Nadal win when he's 3500 years old like Federer?

>>74903840
hahaha what the fuck is that face

>>74903819
HOL UP
*scratches ass and wipes his fingers on his face*

>>74903862
Gluten full Djoker

Fuck, I should have put some money on kohl.

nadal should retire desu imo
full just mode at this point

bagel incoming

why the fuck is Kohlschreiber returning so well?

>>74903952
nadal's serve is shit

>>74903952
sick of faggots talking shit abt him

I didn't stay up for this

Nadal is kaput

JUST GIVE THE TROPHY TO FEDERER

>>74904077
idk why he doesn't switch racquets or something

Describe Nadal's current playstyle in five words or less.

Oh, god. This is looking so bad.

>>74904110
just fuck my shit up

TOP FUCKING KEK

>>74904110
J U S T

>>74904110
just bagel me up senpai

Is Kohlschreiber copying Federer's open-winged backhand return stance?

>>74904110
literally just just

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>mfw rafa gets bageled

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>the "big" four

You have to options. Hit to the court or to the net.
Nadal hits the balls to the sky.

>>74904168
haha nice meme :)

literally bagel'd

explain yourselves nadalfans

>kohlschy humiliates nadal's positioning on return of serve by hitting it perfectly dtl
>bagels him

too good

>bagel'd

topkek

>the city of spain

>nadal
I feel bad for you Dubaibro.

CRAWLING IN MY SKINNNNNN

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rafa's roids will kick in soon r-right?

On his 1000th match Nadal gets a German bagel.

>>74904211
>have a shit day
>have a shit night
haha

>>74904247
still time to join #TeamAngie

>>74904247
Don't worry, rafa did that on purpose. Get ready for an epic comeback.

mATCH STARTS HERE
RAFA RAFA RAFA

VAMOS!!!!!!

roger nadal

Kohlschreiber GOATing

>le run around the forehand and hit a cross-court winner man

REFBALL

Nadal just fucking hates this guy.

>>74904523
it doubled bounced you fucking retard

>>74904523
nah, Carlos was right

>>74904540
R E F B A L L

Remeber when Nadal was good?

>>74904562
Just wait til the clay season starts. You just wait.

nice SABR

Also is Nadal the biggest fall from grace in sporting history?

>>74904649
That's not Murray or Djokovic.

>>74904649
OJ Simpson.

>all you need is love
>6-0
fucking delet this song

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>>74904664
Really?

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>>74901586
My brother just finished Infinite Jest after like a year, he immediately started reading it again. Is he retarded?

>>74904713
>Is he retarded?
He is merely Entertained.

>>74904706
Dont make me start posting Murray's stats since he is n1.

>>74904713
tell him to start with the damn Greeks.

>>74904713
its my fav book of all tme tbqh.
lot of that shit hit home too me.

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>>74904739

Ffs Rafa... i have 20 bucks on you... keep it up

>>74904713
yes

V A M O S

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>>74904760
high roller lad

>>74904760
>2017
>betting money on Justdal winning

Wtf?

>>74904746
how so?

>>74904746
how much of it is actually about tennis? is it a main part of the story?

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>>74904758

>people don't understand Nadal took a 6-0 in first set just for the odds to raise up

>people don't understand Nadal took a 6-0 in first set just to make the 1000th match live up to the hype

>>74904837
i'd say about 40% of its about tennis
dfw knew his shit really well. especially about how what it takes to be a top athlete.
>>74904825
theres a mix of everything really.
fav story is how he talks about addiction. one of the characters swears he'll quit buying weed. so he plans a whole weekend where he will buy it off from a dealer and then force them to never sell it to him again.

>>74904919
>fav story is how he talks about addiction. one of the characters swears he'll quit buying weed. so he plans a whole weekend where he will buy it off from a dealer and then force them to never sell it to him again.
gay lmao

N A D A L
A
D
A
L

B A M O S
A
M
O
S

>>74904954
:(

>>74904919
>dfw knew his shit really well
he wrote a whole book on tennis, 'string theory'

also he played on a collegiate level i think but gave it up for studies

>>74904919
There's one character who gets addicted to benzos or xanax right?

That's relatable, I'd get addicted to those things in a heartbeat if they weren't so expensive

This is over. Kohl really cant withstand the pressure.

rafa literally da goat

andy murrie, who had shingles this year, has tear in his elbow

RIPs lad

>>74905102
Dangerous thing to say when "no-weapon Nadal" is on the other side of the net.

>>74905018
>he wrote a whole book on tennis, 'string theory'
i'll have to read it.

>also he played on a collegiate level i think but gave it up for studies
ahh makes sense now.
>>74905074
>There's one character who gets addicted to benzos or xanax right?
yep. i actually have some ativan now. but i hate the fucking withdrawal, so i only take it once a week

>>74905138
have you ever tried not taking drugs mate?

What a fucking boring low quality match

>>74905148
>>74905148
Actually, drugs are good for you

cheat codes in life, only suckers don't use drugs tbqh

>>74905119
Nadal's biggest weapon has always been and it still is his persistence.

>>74905148
>have you ever tried not taking drugs mate?
i've been borderline sober for 19 yrs old m8.
once a week benzo doesn't hurt. tho i wish i stopped taking uppers earlier. uppers almost killed me.

VAMOS RAFA!!!!!!

>>74905138
> but i hate the fucking withdrawal, so i only take it once a week
You take it with alcohol to party or when you have to visit your awkward grandmother

I love that shit if I'm in a social situation I aint comfy it, or drinking with to party or relax, or with some opiates to melt into the fucking couch

valium is the best imo

>>74905206
>>74905207
nadal fans are the worst

>>74905219
innit

That fucking cross-court bh

holy shit that cross court backhand at game point
I love you, Rafa!

>>74905218
>You take it with alcohol to party
stop it lad. some retard reading this could actually die.

>wake up to a Rafa bagel

lolwut

Is it Kohlschreiber's turn?

>>74905207
>its a slippery slope lad
yeah i know m8 gotta be safe.
>>74905218
dude its the fucking best. but i got addicted to feeling like that all the time.
never tried valium cause i get mine for free thx to my indian doctor

>>74905207
>Rafa fan
>doesn't use or condone the use of
pottery innit'?

Couple of amazing points thse last two.

dat point

sick

>nadal 3-1 up in the final set against a 1hbher

really

makes

me

think

>>74905252
This is actually valid don't do this unless you you have really high drug XP and aren't afraid of death

friends have destroyed their phones, driven drunk, stolen and destroyed stuff on this combo

reduces you to your absolute most primal instincts

not uncommon for people who use benzos and alcohol to go on benders for weeks where they are high and drunk af and afterwards cant remember anything

>>74905289
>22!
>1.12400073e21

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hello where is michael

>>74905301
sick math knowledge bro

>>74905298
oh trust me m8 i've learned my less
>tfw mixed adderall + coffee like a madman

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>>74905315
i'm here. hello

>>74905315
I actually used Google, haha

>>74905298
finland teach me your partying ways

>>74905324
how are you hun? have you been watching rafa?

>>74905330
oh shit! good idea, didn't even think about that lol

>>74905343
it's my idea though. don't steal it, haha

V A M O S
A
M
O
S

>>74905343
no i haven't. i don't really watch too much atp tb.h

SHASTA FAY HEPWORTH
H
A
S
T
A

F
A
Y

>>74905362
don't be such a pleb mike.

>>74905362
mate if you want to Tbh like a true lad then just Tbh desu

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>>74905396
sorry i can't help it

>>74905427
how'd you get this pic of my gf and pls delet

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>>74905424
how do i do it Tbh

So odd seeing Nadal lose a set 0-6.

>>74905456
i'd cici her bellis if u know what i mean

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>>74905469
literally IW last year x Zverev and it gave us
<----- this gem

>>74905486
kys lad

>>74905514
Rafa didnt get bageled vs. Zverev

>>74905550
oh shit did she bageled zverev didn't she?

>>74905514
Well, he actually WON that set 6-0, but it's pretty rare for Rafa to lose sets being bageled.

>>74905573
yeh
the last time he got bageled was in 2015 vs. Berdych

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chokeschreiber

>>74905580
>>74905592
my bad niggas

>>74905343
>tfw the only things I know about in life are tennis, table tennis and drugs
If you are meeting an aquaintance or having a family dinner pop half a benzo.
If you have a boring lecture that you wanna get engaged with get some neurotonin or Lyrica.
Watching a movie with a friend smoke weed.
Hanging out with friends that are drinking, pop 1-2 benzos and drink some cheap whiskey.
Gong to a party in public drink a lot, pop a benzo, and a little amphetamine to keep yourself dancing.
Are you at a friends summer cottage? Drink a lot and pop 3-4 benzos, guaranteed fun.
Wanna feel like you are connected to people you call your friends that you actually don't know but you wanna feel connection to another human being? MDMA is your friend
Chilling at home on the weekend, feeling empty? Eat 20mg oxy and go to a nice grocery shop while listening to a podcast, buy nice food walk home

Feeling depressed and like killing yourself? No problem. Small dosage of opiates with a little bit of benzos will do the trick

Never do LSD, you will realize you're fucking up your life and need to change. BAD FEELING

revv up them vamoses

>>74905592
Berdych?

You mean BerdSHIT

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APOLOGISE

>>74905647
VAMOS JODER!!!

>>74905646
Jesus H. Christ

>>74905647
VAMOS!!!
>>74905669
2015 was a tough year

Dare I say, WTA scoreline?

good night lasses
see ya tomorrow

time for qt halep


>>74905799
xoxo

>>74905646
shit
good thing i never done lsd. i'd probably kill myself
what about microdosing?

>>74905883
that's actually really nice for me

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hot take: post surgery Halep > pre-surgery Halep

The captcha isn't working on my phone, anyone knows wtf is this?

>>74905799
wassalam

>>74906214
yeah she looks fitter

>>74906214
agree. only pleb titsmen would disagree

>>74901629
you haven't read a single thing of DFW's.

>>74906529
i read it all and came to that conclusion ama

>>74906427
>it's been two thousand and seventeen years since the time of our lord and there still exist """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""men"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" who aren't titsguys.

why

>>74906653
because titsmen are children

>>74906653
>>74906758
>being a titsboy
you can have an ass and no tits and look good but you can't have tits and no ass and look good. Don't understand you guys. ass > tits for days

>>74906813
>calls me gay
>literally likes ass

mate, shit comes from there. and being an ass guy is literally gay af as anal sex is for faggots.

based halep

>>74906758
>>74906813
>being an ass trog
sorry pablo, this isn't ecuador. we have high test here.

>being an x-guy and arguing about it online
meanwhile, you fuck/date 3's and 4's lls

>>74906821
it's all about legs if we're being completely honest

>>74906863
>you fuck/date 3's and 4's lls
i have never had a girlfriend

>>74906866
breddy gud

>>74906863
ikr
im a any girl who lets me fuck her is a 10 guy
who with me? hahah

Vesely is the guy with the lame leg.

>>74906875
get some standards mate, that's embarrassing

>>74906983
gotta get what u can get my man.

>>74907000
this guy knows
I feel you bro

also, nice
>trips

jack suck

what's yalls favorite hot pocket flavor?

i fancy the philly cheesesteak one

>>74907046
I hope Argentina isn't here to bully Jack

j sizzle da goat

>>74907093
pepperoni lad

Slow night, huh?

>>74907230
jack suck vs velsey
what do u expect.
rafa match had promise but forehand into the corner man got tired

>>74907230
typing an essay at the moment

ama

>>74907255
im typing a 500 word essay on black swan and i only have 10 words written.
its due tonight but i'll turn it in tomorrow. already have a 95 in the class

>>74907263
>500 word essay
you mean abstract?

also black swan the movie or the phenomenon?

JUST
U
S
T

>>74907268
phenomenon
just gotta identify the dance elements and valuate the choreography.

>>74907255
About what?

>>74907230
You are becoming spoiled, huebro. Remember that during non-slam tourneys, tennis generals used to last days or just die with like 20 posts or so.

>>74907230
I'm doing work for work :(
i better be getting a sweet promotion and raise this summer for this shit ffs

Man, Sock is a good looking guy.

>>74907282
Sometimes they weren't every made at all, I remember.

STOP USING THIS 'jack suck' MEME, IT'S NOT FUNNY GUYS. JACK WORKS VERY HARD AND WILL BE A FAR BETTER TENNIS PRO IN THE ATP THAN YOU WILL EVER BE. IT'S NOT HIS FAULT EVERYBODY BULLIES HIM CAUSING HIS MORALE TO GO DOWN. IF SOME KEYBOARD WARRIORS NECKBEARDS WERENT SHOUTING SHIT HE WOULD EASILY BE TOP 5 IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. KEEP CHATTING SHIT YOU WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS JACK WAS AT HIS WORST.

>>74907276
i've been had.
>>74907281
population.

I know what I want to write but I can't quite put it into words at the moment, as retarded as that sounds.

>>74907299
even made*

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>tfw seeing roidal get bageled

>>74907306
just start writing my man and edit later.
thats how i write my essays :)

Hundreds of channels and there isn't a single worthwhile show or movie on TV, it's amazing. I pretty much only pay it for the tennis now.

>>74907303
His backhand sucks.

>>74907336
Same here senpai, If it weren't for football, tennis and cycling I don't think I'd even pay for cable.

>>74907303
His serve also sucks a bit.

>>74907320
Me too lad. I usually write and rewrite 3ish essays, each of which are generally shit, and then in the process of editing find the strong points and combine them into a coherent whole

>>74907303
His return game is also a bit sucky.

>>74907336
and yet none of us are able to think up of anything good that could get on tv. really activates the almonds

>>74907374
i was gonna write a tv show based off elliot rodger's life
cept instead of killing ppl. he rams his car into his crushes kitchen after he finds out his best friend chad is fucking her.

the season will be about him lifting weights and reading the greeks to make him a better person.

>>74907374
More Herzog documentaries.

What a cheeky point.

>>74907416
Or less Herzog documentaries

Jack Sock is my husbando

>nightcap
>complete shit match

what did miami open mean by this???

>>74904713
>Is he retarded?
yes. he shouldve started The Pale King instead

>>74907569
Get in line faggot.

goodnight laddies

>>74907689
night

>>74907689
night boo

>>74907689
Good night.

>>74907689
sweet dreams michael. im going to bed as well :)

YOU ESS AY YOU ESS AY YOU ESS AY

Also this thread dies when M-word isn't around to sperg

Can the Americans ITT shut the fuck up about Michael already?

Swear to god it's just one obnoxious american spamming "michael michael michael" all day

Who the FUCK is michael? Fuck off.

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>>74907947
>>74907992
i'm still here. just not in my normal posting mood, plus there's no matches on

>>74908010
Will you be my bf?

>>74908051
Yes.

>>74908010
t. michael

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Do you think Federer still hooks up rat faced slavs on the tour?

>>74907046
TRADEMARKED MEME CEASE THIS COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

>>74908357
>hooking up with whores when you wake up to a literal 10/10 every morning

naaah, I don't think so

>>74908656
GET OUT OF HERE ARGENTINA. DON'T BULLY JACK

>>74908357
He probably goes for the twinks like Zverev behind him.

>>74908860
What's wrong with that?

>>74905469
>>74905613

>Rafael Nadal struggled at the start before making sure his 1,000th career match was yet another victory. The Spaniard lost the opening set to Philipp Kohlschreiber 6-0, just the 14th time in his career he was bageled in a set.

That's quite an achievement for Philips. He must feel proud.

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>""""10""""/10

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kyrGOAT please save us

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Hello? I heard somebody calling my name yesterday?

>>74910100

>implying Memeios will win anything anytime soon

>>74910544
Do you have that in human size?

SCAM possibly pulling out of Davis Cup and Monte Carlo due to elbow injury.

Unironically why haven't they just given Fed the title already? Everyone else in tennis is a joke right now

>>74910758
Nadal disagrees.

>>74910764
lol

>>74910764

Fed has already beaten roidal 3 times this year though

>>74910784
o-only twice

>>74910764
Was exposed in his last match.

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Good morning brehs

Good morning tennis bros!

>>74910909
morning michael

>>74910909
>>74911050
>>74911241
good morning bros
who is ready for the emotional match?

>>74911284
fed/Porto-potty?
>tfw I'll be at work and won't be able to post with my /tennis/ friends

>>74911446
yeah fed/delp
Just watch while working
I'm pumped up for the match

>the bottom half of the draw includes nadal, keith, jacc socc and a bunch of literally whos
>meanwhile the top half is seeds everywhere

>>74910804
He's already counting Nadal in the final.

And I mean, he's right. Who else is there in that side of the draw? Suck, Nishimura, Delbenis and Panini.

>>74911510
Everything is possible with Trollini.

>>74911489
Jack is good though...

>>74911518
>jack suck

desu Roger's going to get his skull cracked if he tries to SABR with DelPoo

>>74911518
lol

NEW

>>74911529
>>74911529
>>74911529

>>74911539
>implying Delpo isn't going be the one leaving with a cracked wrist

>>74911554
He already has one.

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76KB, 768x520px

>>74911541
why so early mi fründ

>>74911563
This thread forgot the order of play. We tolerated it because OP was new.

>>74911541
>2000 posts early

Fuck you Roger.

>>74911541
different boards have different autosage limits m8

>>74911571
what a faggot
where do we post now?

>>74911582
here! fucking stop having multiple threads
if the other thread is still alive by the time this one hits bump limit, we'll migrate to it

>>74911587
>here!
Why are you so upset? We looked at your "author" for a whole day. My thread has attractive people in the OP.

>>74911606
>splitting threads isn't retarded
shut up Michael

There is pretty much no reason I shouldn't kill myself lads

>>74911935
do it Michael

>>74911946
God I wish that were me

>It's a Berdych breezes through till the QF just go get rekt by some top 5 player episode

>>74911981
I'm not even sure of that anymore. Berdych isn't playing like he used to. not today in particular but his form as of late hasn't been nearly as solid as it used to be

so who is going to play today?

>>74911989
maybe he realized that he will never win a slam

File: pepe.jpg (179KB, 1700x1700px) Image search: [Google]

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>>74911997

See

>>74911529
>>74911529
>>74911529

>>74911997
"men"
11:10 Berdych (10) - Muller (24)
12:30 Mannarino - Coric
12:30 Querrey (22) - Bautista-Agut (14)
14:30 Federer (4) - Del Potro
16:00 Isner (18) - Zverev (16)
16:30 Kyrgios (12) - Karlovic (17)
17:00 Schwartzman - Goffin (8)
19:30 Wawrinka (1) - Jaziri

Wimmon
11:10 Strycova (15) - Pliskova (2)
11:10 Safarova - Cibulkova (4)
13:00 Muguruza Blanco (6) - Wozniacki (12)
14:00 Lucic (26) - Mattek
15:00 Kerber (1) - Ozaki
15:30 Konta (10) - Arruabarrena-Vecino
17:00 Halep (3) - Stosur (14)
21:00 Williams (11) - Kuznetsova (7)

File: vlcsnap-2017-03-27-19h31m46s250.png (647KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

647KB, 1280x720px

>>74912002
>ywn go home to this

>>74912011
thanks pal, who is that person in the op? a tennis player?

>Kyrgios (12) - Karlovic (17)
Can't wait for this shit, chimp out guaranteed

What's the best tennis movie?

>>74912104
Balls Out: Gary The Tennis Coach

>>74912104
Wimbledon

>>74912104
7 Days in Hell

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>>74912104

>>74912113
Sounds like a porn parody

>>74912130
From what I remember it's a rom-com, innit?

>>74912139
Interesting.

>>74912179
It's based on Isner-Mahut and it's bretty funny

>>74912179
I would like to see some of the WTA bunnies in a porn parody if ya catch my drift.

how do we fix the Germanic sperg problem?

Kerbe, zvarev, thiem, spergop, swisspergop, the list goes on...

>>74912469
Add yourself to that list

>>74912480
lmao rekt