Occasional Man Utd thread

>taking electroncis to pool

>sitting in a hot tub

Rip fertility

>>74740307
>what are waterproof phone cases

>>74740338

>what is health insurance

>>74740354
Too expensive.

>When you can't hold it and you shit in the pool and the turd suddenly transforms into a humanoid form

>>74740371

>Paying surgeries out of your own pocket

Not expensive at all

>>74740418
Uncalled for. Zlatan doesn't deserve that

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/customer/ general? Based! Some topics to discuss
1. Who are we buying in the summer?
2. Where are we finishing in the league? Top4 possible?
3. Your favorite Pogba compilation?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsNpUePZ-8M
Also OP forgot essential /customer/ links
http://store.manutd.com/stores/manutd/en
https://twitter.com/manutd
https://www.instagram.com/paulpogba
www.redcafe.net

>>74740490
Ching chong ching chong
(That means "Fuck off Slovak cunt" in Mandarin)

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>>74740509
Why don't you express your opinion on one of the suggested topics? Please keep hostility out of /manure/, we're all friends here

>>74740515
did they delet this tweet?

jesus christ

this team has now lapped chelsea 2-3 times in terms of most unlikable club on the planet

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>>74740593
Because jealous ABUs started retweeting it during the Chelsea match

>>74740597
White grandpa detected
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UugS9l6QvI
Get with the times, old-timer

>>74740490
Griezmann La

>>74740635

>Tfw you failed to graduate from the Dab Uni

I'm unemployable now :(

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>>74740660
Good, should be sufficient Zlatan replacement. But is that it? We're so f**king rich there should be several more reinforcements, especially another CB or two, and someone in midfield to take all the pressure away from Pogboom.

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>>74740678
Apply again la, took me three tries to finish the seminar

>>74740714
What's the best dab angle after a tap-in?

poonited

>>74740635
that was my point, marion

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>>74740725
Double Dab is the highest form, requires postgraduate certicificate

Based OP with the Slovak containment general.

>>74740695
Some rumours going about regarding lukaku while sending woony the other way as a sweetner

They all look poorly conditioned. Wasn't Mourinho supposed to be good at drills and fitness?

Why is there always that one dedicated shitposter/bandwagoner in every team?

>>74740861

Attention?

>>74740292
go away with your gayporn

>>74740292
>muh passion

top level "football" in yuroland is about as plastic as it gets

for shame, yuroshits

>>74740972
>yank "sports"
>not plastic

>>74740972
American sport and their fans are about as fucking corny and plastic as you get tho

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>>74740861
Our mascot has been missing for weeks now. Hopefully we get some winning run going so we lure him away from Chelsea again

>>74740292
Do Europeans really wear shoes in the pool?

ok I'll play with the slovak.

Do we want Lukaku or Greizmann? Or both? Money isn't an issue once we win EL.

We are obviously buying a DM and LB at MINIMUM this summer.

Is anyone else happy that the lindgard meme is dead? I never liked that kid.

Pogba - He consistly rated as a top 10 player in the world. one of the best midfielders in the EPL. But my eyes tell me otherwise. What is happening here? Is it because he see's SO much of the ball?

>Hey slovak, try keep the Serie A comparisons out of this thread. It's not a real league.

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>>74741302
This is how I imagine our attack for 17/18
-------------Kane-------
Martial--The Griez---Bale

Lukaku gets some goals now, sure, but don't forget that despite the global fanbase we're still an English club, so I'd like to see an Englishman leading our frontline. Kane is still young and Mou can develop his poaching instinct into levels never seen before in PL.
>Pogba
Well better get your eyes checked, because despite what ABU media and biased shitposters on /sp/ claims, he's one of the top performers in the league and not only as far as midfielders are concerned. He doesn't need goals, assists or chances created to boast some nerd stats on paper. If you watch him play, and I mean really WATCH, you recognize his class.

Literally who can stop this next year:

---------------------De Gea----------------------------
Valencia----Bailly-----Smalling-------New LB
-------------Herrera-----------New DM------------
-------------------------Pogba--------------------------
Mkhitaryan---------Lukaku----------Greizmann

Subs: Zlatan, Rojo, Carrack, Rashford, Martial, Mata, Romero, Blind, Fellani

Just give us the title.

>>74741046
>>74741065
>this delusion

your sport is literally run entirely by money

wake the fuck up... its embarrassing desu

>>74741377
>Lukaku
A Chelsea reject. Not good enough for us. Also you're being too conservative with the lineup, I expect at least two more high profile new arrivals.

>>74741357

>Bale

No thanks.

Pogba wins a lot of aerial duels? I honestly can't defend his rating. The only thing I can think of is that he get more touches than most other players and therefore other stats are padded. I don't know.

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>>74741404
>dictates play
>Pirlo-esque long passes, Xavi-esque short passes
>causes constant panic in opposition's half with his movement
>tests the goalkeeper with long shots when he least expects it
>tracks back to cover and mark
>usually intercepts opposition's offence before it becomes threatening
>entertaining to watch
>The Fear Factor

>>74741401

Lukaku is the perfect zlatan replacement and a perfect player for jose's system. A strong, skilled target player can hold the ball up or turn and attack 1v1.

you know it.

>>74741426
If Lukaku was good enough for The Mou, he wouldn't have sold him back at Chelsea. Never doubt Jose's judgement

>>74741419

>he sells shirts

He doesn't have to be the best in the world friend. As long as he's making us money and allowing us to strengthen the squad (thanks to that money), he worth it...

>>74741433

He's had 4 years of development. Four years of proven ability to score.

The only question is how much we buy him for. 50+ million?

>>74741439
>le shirts sales meme
Our total merchandise income previous year was 30 million, kits being a minority of that and Adidas still keeps 90%. Pogba's true contribution is on the pitch, you'd know if you WATCHED properly

>>74741377
>smalling
Try Jones m8

>>74741469
I still claim Lukaku isn't good enough for United, so hopefully we won't end up paying anything for him. Griezman has proven himself as the decisive factor and real clutch on highest stage, never failing to leave his mark in finals. That's the kind of player we should be after, not Lukaku.

>>74741494
That dumb donkey?? He's literally a reckless retard. Just be happy I left Rojo in the team...

>>74741502

We will buy both. Just gotta confirm champions league next season...

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>>74741522
Feels good to be filthy rich, leafbro

>>74741539

Yes it does. :)

if you actually play this game competitively you're a complete retard

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>>74740490
we're buying griezmann, bale, neymar, ronaldo and di maria la

treble this year already secured!
- won charity shield
- won summer transfer window
- won EFL cup

time to step it up next year with the septuple!!!!!!!!!

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>>74741756
Dear EPL
One advice to you
Be afriad
Be very afraid

>>74741511
Jones is better then Bailly and Smalling, before he got injured he was playing great, he has only had 2 bad games this season you dumb leaf

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excited for the next game!!

>>74741847

>Rating Jones.

Jesus

>>74741756
>>74741831
Reddit-tier

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>>74742154

>>74742171
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

fuck you fucking paki