Man Utd v Bournemouth match thread 1

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*wins penalty*

>>74484899
>Pugh, King

dubs manure lose 2-0

>>74484912
kek

>rooney starts

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>Rooney
>mfw

well played bourmememouth

>>74484918
>>74484926
I can see why he's playing, he just loves scoring against bournemouth. half of his league goals this season have come against them after all :^)

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>>74484933

>that Bournemouth line-up is a PL team
the state of the PL

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>>74484942
that line up would walk la liga

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>>74484912
>Blind Smalling

>>74484899
You'd think the world's most expensive team would look even remotely impressive on paper lel

>>74484961
how the fuck are bournemouth the most expensive team in the world you nonce

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>>74484961
stay mad broke boy

>>74484970
excellent reverse troll

Carrick and Pogba will be interesting. If it was a big game Pogba would have to work much harder than he usually does. I guess Mourinho expects Man Utd to have a lot of the ball.

Eddie Howe is dying

>>74485003
I think we're really going to miss the energy that herrera brings in midfield desu. bournemouth aren't gonna sit back all game.

herrera deserves a rest anyway so I have no issues with him getting benched.

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>mfw we move into 4th after this win

ABU's absolutely Butt-Devastated

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>Rooney

>>74485021
>a chance for united to move up the table

draw confirmed

>>74485003
>Pogba
>work
lmao

>>74485010
I don't think Herrera is the type of player who needs to be rested. He has a lot of stamina and is in the prime of his career.

I guess you're right about B'mouth not going to sit back. It's not really their MO, as fsr as I can tell. Pogba might be the workhorse today.

>>74485027
Can't see us flopping this chance especially not at Old Trafford, said that about United before now tho..

Don't agree with Utd's midfield 2. Unlike Herrera, Carrick hasn't got the legs to deal with Pogba's lack of defensive discipline

>bet365 giving me free bonus money
>Zlatan to score first and 2-0 win

This does not slip

0-0 confirmed

If there's one thing I can take from the last 2 years, it's that this team always fails to take it's chance to make significant progress up the table

I love football lads.

>>74485047
>0-0
>mememouth

more like 4-4

The Old Trafford bottom stands are going to look really different soon. There's going to be a 2000 reduction in the stadium capacity to make room for more wheelchair users. However they plan to raise and push back the BC stand to raise the stadium capacity to 88,000.

I just want to shitpost >mouyes tb.h

>>74485035
You like discipline.

Trump is going all out lads.
Utd 3 - Bournemouth 0

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>>74485054
>build mirror image of stadium above the roof with harnessed seats facing downwards
>double capacity to 160,000

Bournemouth were absolute shite when we played em away, one of the worst teams I've seen this season.

That "outgrow your home" advert makes me feel uneasy.

>>74485054
Neat. Need to move the wheelchair users from behind the away goal though.

>>74485054
Fucking wheelcucks.

Wiltshire to come on at 66 and score a double

>interview with a player that's not playing
>not another based Zlatan interview where he takes the piss out of Pogba

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>>74485054
>>74485075
wish they'd hurry up and do this already (no not the rugby)

>>74485098
>ywn see a half-hour interview of Zlatan ripping into Pogba

>"we've grown a lot together"

What did he mean by this?

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Does espionage occur in the EPL?

>>74485109
The Zlatan Stand.

Zlatan. Crab.

>>74485122
Zlatan statue that's bigger than the Fergie statue when?

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>>74485127

>>74485135
Next season after Utd win everything and Ireland win the Euros.

Saw my mate, the other day

>>74485119
>wiretapping rival candidate
wtf how is that shit legal?

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Who /a/BU here

>>74485152
He said he saw the black Rooney

>>74485152
Which one?

>>74485142
It's the World Cup next lad.

>>74485158
Pogba?

>>74485163
Oh yeah.

ZLA-TAN IBRA-HIMO-VIC
HE IS A SWEDISH HERO

>>74485088
thats a bit nasty mate

>>74485183
Thanks, guy. Makes me feel good about myself. Like i'm really going somewhere in life.

>you now remember Wayne Rooney

>>74485007
If he gets Bournemouth relegated he will get the England Job. He's playing 4D chess

seems too nervous rooney

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>Rooney

>leave 4chan for like a year
>come back to browse /sp/ for the match
>Ellie is still her

Comfy, lads. Has Ellie posted her feet yet?

>>74485195
>>74485200
>>74485201
ROONEY

Manchester U. 3 - 0 Bournememe

Early kick offs are always tricky. I'm a little nervous.

>>74485199
but he's literally dying, that's why he's not in charge of the game today

in the hospital

Memechester Memenited 0 - 0 Bournememe

Someone has a acestream link?
I don't want to watch this game with yank or >leaf commentators.

>>74485217
fa22ce8b3d1300357e25f4add3c4f126ef25f739

>de gay

>>74485211
haha memes

>>74485224
Thanks.

>>74485207
early kickoffs united had this season:

city H (lost 2-1)
watford A (lost 3-1)
leicester H (won 4-1)
stoke H (drew 1-1)
arsenal H (drew 1-1)
reading H (won 4-0)

I am suddenly nervous

See you at halftime, lads

I thought Howe wasn't there?

>Rooney

Rppney, leave headers to ibra

what a touch from zlatan

>rooney

BETS ON LADS

200 bongs on man u half time/full time

>the fucking state of Rooney

Rooney brace incoming.

so is the rumor that Rooney comes back to Everton next season true or not?

Bootiful sunny day in Manchester.

>>74485253
time is money, apparently literally here

bournemouth meme still hasn't gone stale
good addition to the league

>>74485257
I've read he'll decide it himself by the end of the season.

>>74485257
Everton would be retarded to take him. He's not good enough for them.

>>74485257
300k a week contract still has a year to go.

would everton really commit themselves financially to rooney, when he is clearly very far over the hill.

premier league centre backs

what the actual fuck was that defending?

POGBA IS FUCKING SHITE

>Pogbshit
Great run but should have done better with that finish

Pogba is not that fast on fifa what gives?

>100 million pounds

POGSHIT

ah yes another united can't finish for shit episode

*dabs*

>that bournememe offside trap 20 yards inside the united half

top kek what a shit manager eddie meme is

should be 3-0

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>it's one of THOSE games

0-0 or 1-1.

>4 chances already

lol

>header with no pressure outside your own box
>give away corner

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>that header
>steve cuck

>Under no pressure
>Head ball out for a corner
lel bournemouth

big day out for the bournemouth players

>cook cooks united

>>74485282
His acceleration is terrible. When he gets up to top speed though he's really quick.

i keep feeling like if united played exactly like they did last season, with the sole addition of Ibrahimovic, they'd be higher up in the table right now. They had everything but goals.

However I am a burger.

OFFICIAL TRACTOR MENTIONED

Bournemouth are so shite, this will end 4-0.

>>74485310
nah no way

>>74485310
United didn't create any chances last season, that was their problem, they where clinical but rarely got many shots on goal because of LVG's phil-loso-phee.
This season they are getting a lot of chances but a lot less clinical.

need that early goal
or it will be another
>away team keeper has the game of his life at old trafford

>>74485310
no way, united barely created anything last season.

that boro home game was the perfect example of how different uniteds approach has been. had we gone 1-0 down late on last season we'd have just passed it around the edge of their box until full time. adding an admittedly slow player like zlatan up front wouldn't have changed much.

I do miss decent results against top teams though

good opportunity for United to improve their goal difference

FUCKS SAKE ZLATAN

>>74485285
How did u get that trip seems to good to be true

>more defensive errors
>no defending at the other side either

>>74485310
well.. the only reason ibra considered joining utd was mou

AHAHAH THIS SPAGHETTI FROM BOTH TEAMS

>rppmey
>ibra

DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT DE GOAT

>Rooney
>Zlatan
FUCKING SHOT FFS

ref ball

Slips at both ends lol

Fuckin el my heart

All this spaghetti

What the fuck is this match.

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>this game

>slipping

this gonna be good

fucking hell

DE GOAT

>>74485354
Pathetic, pal. Really pathetic

THIS MAHC LOL

kek what the fuck afobe

this fucking game

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>>74485348
>>Rooney
>>Zlatan
>FUCKING SHOT FFS
mfw

>"premier" league

da fug is dis sheet

>the absolute state of the eplel

>SLIPPNY

Where is the Slovak.

Yeah this isn't working. Need a 3 in midfield.

Manchester is clearly blue

It would've been 4-0 if City had these chances

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>this fucking game

Top kek

SACK THE GROUNDSKEEPER!!!!

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>when you remember Zlatan and Rppmey are the strikers at United

just take the fall

you're 10 mins in and he's pulling you back.. a red card does more for you at this point than a goal desu

should be 7-1 already

On the train to the hawthorns, can someone fill me in on whats happening

>zlatan has managed to score 26 for these jokers
how is it even possible?

80,000 prawn sandwiches

JESUS FUCK

>trying to kill Carrick

Smart desu

Chances every 5 seconds in this game fucking hell

>we're actually trying not to score

weird tactic imo

>POGBA IS SHITE

>ibra

pogba is a fucking embarrassment christ

bring on fellaini

Telling you guys, it's one of those games.

>yfw this turns out to be 1-0 even with all these chances
>United

>>74485370
Zlatan is a fucking poofter

>>74485403
you shouldn't score early in bournemouth games, because then there will be a fightback

arse conceded 3, got back, liverpool got 3-1 up and lost and everton almost dropped a 3-0 lead

fair tactic desu

>100 million stones for two Cazorlas on top of eachother

What part of Bournemouth are you lads from?

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How many crazy goal today

>>74485414
I should have seen this before kickoff

>big United chance to not be 6th
>at home
>against a team in poor form which United should be beating

>>74485424
Frog Island

ABUUUUUUUUU
ABUUUUUUUU

>>74485424
Mouth but my dad is from Bourne

>>74485424
yfw i am actually from Bournemouth

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OMFG Zlatan

>ibraba

>>74485432
your dad is matt damon?

>>74485424
>Bournemouth
Greater Bournemouth

>>74485424
POOLE
O
O
L
E

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>>74485433

>tony marshall

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>>74485392
So many close chances for both teams but somehow missed it all.

genuinely forgot Martial existed. Didn't they pay 80M for him?

>>74485424
Brennmund

FUCKS SAKE PUT IT IN THE GOAL

Yep, seen this episode before

STOP IT YOU CUNTS

>>74485449
36 rising to 50 something

>>74485424
I'm the groundskeeper at the stadium, I live there

>>74485462
it was potentially rising to 80m, but some of the clauses were like, if he wins baloondoor and CL or something

Gonna be one of those games. Should be 4 or 5. Their goalkeeper will save everything and they'll be wasteful.

Probably be a 1-0

>these useless cunts
>in charge of finishing

>>74485465
Nice one JAFA

>>74485469
you're thinking in euros

>time wasting already

fucking small clubs, european league cant come soon enough

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this match is a silly match, being played by silly people

>>74485482
>why don't they play tiki taka vs our quadrillion dollar team

I've had really dry lips all week, lads. Am I dying?

ROJOOOOOOOOOO

ROJO!

TOP LAD

NEVER DOUBTED YOU MATE

if this was chelsea instead of manchestor we'd be 3 goals up by now

FINAL FUCKING LEEEEE

ROJO

the fuck

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APOLOGIZE

eplel defending

>tfw no Herrera to attempt 40 yard screamers with his left

>>74485489

well they should at least defend if theyre gonna play for a point kek

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valencia definitely meant that

based rojo turning my 200 bong bet into 1k

more goals right now

rocko on the scoresheet

>Cook potentially injured
pls no he has been terrible

FOOKIN' ROWJOW

>Bournemouth players pretending to be injured so they dont have to keep being embarrassed

>>74485490
It is possible to from from dehydration, so maybe.

Howe is gone, this is an abomination of a team.

Lucky bastards

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>>74485494
well.. yeah. and if my aunt had testicles she would be my uncle.

>>74485506

Nice one lad

Its ogre. 4thbowl is ourssss!

>>74485490

What lips?

R u a gril?

>>74485512
He is their only senior CB though. Mings is a LB and Cargill is young and not PL quality.

Man United will have another 15 chances.

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>>74485506

>>74485515
I'm guzzling water like I guzzle the jizz, so can't be that.

Picked up the gf and body slammed her in celebration of that goal going in

She fucking loved it

>>74485523
Are you assuming genders?

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Pls like, (you) and subscribe for more webm goodness

>>74485542

Probably reminded her of her bull.

Benis Afobe

>Eddie Meme

>>74485550
>implying I'm not her bull

Top kek

>>74485547
what's your patreon?

>>74485547

+1

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Has Zlatan had any successful contact with the ball at all today?

ibra's been poor desu

>>74485557
http://www.tobycarvery.co.uk/

>>74485555
checked

>>74485541
Oh... Probably herpes then

>>74485568
Ahh I could demolish one of them

>>74485555
Undeniable truth

Just looking at our remaining fixtures here, we play Chelsea at home on the 16th of April, is it possible that they could win the league at Old Trafford?

So when will Arter get sent off? Guy's probably pissed off the ref that he's looking for any excuse to give that 2nd yellow

IbraHOMOBITCH is the least skilled striker and biggest schlong swallower in the PL.

>>74485587
What position do you play la?

Shaw having flashbacks

>>74485587
they won the league in december

>Win the ball
>Get booked

Hmm yes

>>74485587
they'll need to be like 15 points ahead of 2nd before the match, if so they'll just need a draw to win it

>refballing against mememouth
how low can they go?

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all you bullies are gonna have to apologize when zlatan scores later

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>>74485547
i genuinely appreciate it when you do this in game threads, here's your (You)

>>74485587
Could be worse. The United players could be forced to do the guard of honour for them

Pogba at LB again lads.

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>yfw Shaw gets injured again

>>74485587
>Implying united won't ass rape them

Pooney off for Rashford

How has my man Valencia been doing it, lads? I just wore up.

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>>74485547
Subscirb

>>74485607
Zlatan gets 20 chances in a game he's gonna score 1..

>>74485632
Assist

>>74485632
got an assist, other than that he's been pretty great as usual

>>74485632
United's best player as usual

This is 14th placed team. Lower half of the table is shockingly bad.

>>74485632
Really good. One of the best in the pitch.

>>74485632
Top geezer. never underplays imo

All is lost

ZLATAN

top kek ibra

Here we fucking gp

BASED ZLATAN

typical Phil Jones

ERA PENAL

>Jones

FUCK OFF JONES YOU ARSEHOLE

BAHAHA PWNED

>phil jones

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>english defending

Penulty

literally zero contact lmao

>oh hey, our star player just literally grabbed a guy and threw them to the ground
>i should tackle someone in the penalty area

it's like when i play fifa 17

ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL ERA PENAL

fuck sake jones. fuck sake.

oh great....

top lolos

jones is shit

AAAHHHHH

>mouyes

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>4000 chances to score
>1-1

>mouyes

Some CBs that know to stay on their feet would be nice.

>>74485699
Hahaha hahaha lol top jokes

BASED KING

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that is absolutely not a penalty, he crashed because the turn was too sudden

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>Could be 6 or 7 goals up but for being poor in front of goal
>Currently 1-1

Basically sums up United's season.

LOL

what was Jones thinking

>ABU BUNKER THREAD WHERE???
ABU BUNKER THREAD WHERE???

it's getting kind of sweaty in here

>>74485703
SEETHING

JONES YOU ABSOLUTE SPUD

>>74485253
betting is bad anon

KING POWER STRIKES AGAIN

Soft pen desu, looks like jones didnt touch him and he just fell onto him

Jones just doesn't belong on this team.

Hope that plane crashes desu

>>74485707
Favorite meme cat of all time.

>>74485712
youre telling me, i put a tenner on united by 3+ goals this morning

What a dive. No foul.

>customers being outsung by a handful of bournemouth fans

manure fans are arsenal tier at this stage

>phil jones

lmao

>daily reminder MU will finish the season in 8th

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PHIL JONES

Is there a plane flying over Old Trafford or something? What is that annoying sound?

6th is better than top 4 anyway

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If Zlatan Homobitch was allowed to wear his going out duds he'd play a lot more freely.

>>74485715
>>74485723
are you blind or just stupid

jones flopped on the floor like a retard and caught him with his trailing left leg in the process

>>74485731
Gary Neville

>>74485728
you're being unfair. this is a legendary club with enormous talent and there is no reason they can't finish as high as 7th.

>>74485731
Ur mums vibrator mate

>zlathug

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>english defending
>english finishing

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>>74485720
the fuck you say to me?

IBRA'S GOING OFF

>>74485724
Mics are always near the away fans.

>>74485731
Ah thank fuck. I thought it was in my apartment somwhere

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it ibrahimovic drop acid before this game what is happening with this guy

Fucking thug Ibrahimobitch

>>74485739

Need to see the replay, just saying what i saw

>"b-but w-we're supposed to be b-back lads!"

>>74485743
You're right. Sorry, I was memeing

Friend is a fucking drama queen making this all about himself

Ref needs to up yellow card production

what is happening

>ibra getting away with this
he was hiding.. he knew what happened

THE KING

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Man utd have sunk so low, they need to try and get a player sent off to win

Jesus's Christ lads

Absolutely disgusting, how can refs be this biased

THUG
H
U
G

seen what you cunts

>>74485751
>damage control

COME ON ROONEY, SLIP IN A FEW HUNDRED IN HIS POCKET TO KEEP HIM ON

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it seems unavoidable zlatan is getting sent off this game

FUCKING REFBALL