/heem/: goldie edition

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First for based Val

>>74123246
I'm only afraid that he might get wrestlefucked to a DEC

might just do a Reis/Brown parlay or even throw jacare in there

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>>74123382
Jacare is good parlay fodder, throw him in there

>>74123382
>3 posts
>no Bremban Skub

I'm proud of you heem

>>74123391
tb h im afraid that boetsch heems him by sheer luck

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>>74123393
I think we went an entire thread without mentioning it at all last thread
I think the casuals have left temporarily because there haven't been any big cards lately

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>>74123403
jackoff to this

>>74123395
Would that put Barbarian into title contention ?

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>>74123395
Put. Jacare. In. Your. Parlay.

>>74123403
are you black or brown

>>74123407
post yfw Tim Boetsch heems Jacare, Romero, Bisping and Rockhold in that order, then loses the title in 2019 to Silva

>>74123400
>casuals know who Brendan Schaub is

Silly.

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>>74123395
Boetsch is a big and powerful guy, but Jacare should be able to get him on the ground and neutralize his standup fairly quickly

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>>74123419
why is she so relatable?

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Bless

>>74123367
kek bastards didn't even center the camera on him

>>74123438
Masturbate like a normal person you dumb fucker

>>74123430
holy shit she even moves around like a chimp

>>74123438
Cut off ur peen

Pray to Schaub for forgiveness.

>>74123438
>Brown

right

i suggest going back to your ancestral homeland, wherever that is

you can reconnect with your roots

>>74123430
Because she's a mentally midget

>>74123438
Pour clorox in the bath then get in and drink another bottle. This will bleach the animal out of you and you won't want to rape :)

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>>74123460
What an embarrassing typo

>>74123438
>>>/adv/ seriously

>>74123438
Ask yourself if you want to be this guy

http://nypost.com/2017/02/06/jogger-suspects-sister-thinks-he-was-framed-because-hes-black/

>>74123406
literal chimp

>>74123479
Well he obviously did it but I'm no killer.

Heem....

I back

https://youtu.be/Xc1VgqQdSRc

>>74123481
I refuse to believe people like this exist. Consider permaheeming yourself

>>74123481
Go ask /adv/, dumb shit don't ruin someone else's life

>>74123391
>you in charge of calling people annoying bitches

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>>74123460

>>74123481
self-deport ur life

Is this good technique?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bhgug6tRzw

>>74123540
Not really anon

>>74123543
name one fighter with great striking

>>74123495
People like that do actually exist, but they probabaly don't consult their friend simulator for (you)s first.

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>>74123400
>>74123393

is brondo schwib a good fighter

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>he rates Fedora

Brendan Schaub is the greatest natural heavyweight of all time.

>>74123419

>Your

hope she dies horribly.

>>74123463
>Pour clorox in the bath then get in

I do this all the time after BJJ but diluted obviously

denna
denna
eh denna
denna whych
eh denna

what went wrong?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIimOU_bS_0

This board is deader than Ryan Jimmo

>>74123367

>Goldie, now a civilian in the cheapseats
>Accidentally caught in a ufc crowdshot, they didn't even want a shot of him
>He's smiling away like a happy Goldie

I just want to give him a big hug, nahmean boys

>>74123552
Holly Holms, meisha and nunes. THere i gave you 3.

>>74123492

I backed for you

>>74123540
She has massive legs.

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>>74123578

>>74123552

Germaine de Randamie

>>74123572

>1. Anderson
>2. Jones
>3. BJ
>4. GSP
>5. Conor

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when Germaine fights Holland shuts down

>>74123623
>you put the ape in rape

>>74123566
The disrepect!

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>>74123631
makes sense. she's my waifu

I'm happy for back

>>74123652
Saved

>>74123652
I would do it with Page like they do it on the Discovery channel

>>74123668
Only Schaub can save you

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>tfw your boy might never be the same

wait a second I'm thinking of Where's Your Head At

>>74123676
Can't wait to see him in smellator

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>>74123668
>>74123670
Chimp bless

>>74123687
How long is he going to be there ?

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>>74123367
>>Edgar on recent interim title trend

>ufc 194
>post fight backstage interview with dana white and megan olivi
>edgar on the background
>dana notices
>dana goes full autism

???

c u c k e d

>>74123721
>death to all jews

>>74123566
Not really. Also his jaw's cracked, made of shitty glass these days

Would love to see Schaub vs Rogan at EBI

>>74123622
>>3. BJ
kek

Look at his last fight. He may have been ok once upon a time but his style's just a joke these days

Korean zombie vs Bermudez was the highest FS1 FN Main Card since last years Super Bowl weekend card Thompson vs hendricks

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>>74123765
what do you mean by highest?
weed? ratings? altitude?

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>>74123572
>he's a TUF noob

>>74123721
I don't understand

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>omelet instead of fried eggs

what kind of trickery is this ?

>I rate Cerrone

>>74123953
>no bacon or sausage

>>74124019
gotta stay on weight

lads what weight class are you in as of today

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>>74123612
"...-woman with strong legs makes a man happy..."

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Wouldn't a whole bantam be heavier than a feather?

>>74123367
>http://www.mmafighting.com/2017/2/6/14522368/stipe-miocic-vs-junior-dos-santos-2-set-for-ufc-211
why do they say controversial loss

>>74123953
That looks disgusting.

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How is this ugly fuck Holly's husband? He looks like he doesn't even eat ass.

>>74124139
He is a cuck who pays for Holly's training.

You think Holly respects a man who she could beat up? Think about it, she rolls with guys like Jon Jones and Yoel Romero! Real men, not white bois. She has so much fun when they dominate her in practice, imagine how happy she is in bed with them. I just wonder if he knows what Holly does behind his back.

Lads, what are the odds that Boetsch Heems alligator man? I'm hoping

>>74124139
hes a cuck, not even kidding

Theres a reason why holly keeps taking pics with black males in their underwear

>>74123612
For you

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>>74124147
>>74124169
>being this insecure

Are women not allowed to have male friends?

>>74124139
You think women respect guys who eat ass?

>>74124190
Just speaking my mind bro

>>74124147
>>74124169
He also met her after her face was fucked from years of combat sports

>>74124190
Please ignore posts like that in the future.

>>74124221
>Australia
>preventing shit posting

This truly is a strange year

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>>74124221


gooby
<----

>>74124345
Does he have asthma?

>>74124163
he's got a puncher's chance in the first, but i imagine he'll gas after than

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>>74124356

gooby
<----

>>74124432
Can't say I like this meme Adan

It's one of your worst ones

Could you beat up Adan in an open weight fight?

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>>74124454
this
find a new one plox

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>>74124454

gooby
<----

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>>74124506

Fuck no the dude has like 150 lbs on me at least

>superheavyweight

>>74124454
>>74124521

how bout this if you guys don't like gooby you can suck a dick how's that sound boys lmao BTFO

Fighters who wouldn't fall for Conor's mental assault
>Stephen Thompson
>Tyron Woodley
>Dominick Cruz
>Sage Northcutt
>Khabib Nurmagomedov
>Tony Ferguson
>RDA
>Nate Diaz
>Nick Diaz
>Max Holloway
>Anthony Pettis
>Cody Garbrandt
>Frankie Edgar
>Mike Perry
>Jeremy Stephens
>Donald Cerrone
>Jorge Masvidal
>Robby Lawler
>GSP

>>74124540

*portions meme*

>tfw Adan is /heem/'s Supermong

hey guys it's me adan

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hi adan

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*portions booster seat*

I got banned for saying that Holm's boyfriend doesn't eat ass?

>>74124139
maybe they love eachother you weirdo

https://youtu.be/NS2FSkg9Tek

>miss a week and a bit of /heem/
>there is a new may may

someone explain le portion meme please

>>74124758
*portions explanation*

>>74124774

thx bby

>>74123430
Tecia is criminally underrated.

Since we're doing TUF rematches, anyone want to see a replay of the Markos fight?

>>74124748
This really shows what a groomed beard and eyebrows can do for a guy. 5/10 to 8/10

>>74124758
Adan works at a resataurant portioning dip. He is passed the chimney cleaning business or whatever.

>>74124356
no
its irish language

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>>74124758

Ah right, yeah I remember the dip portioning thing. Makes sense now. Tee hee

what world of warcraft class do you think conor mcgregor would main? i think he'd be an arms warrior

>>74123367
fuck goldie and fuck goldie nuthugger people

>>74124854
autism

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>>74124854
You know, World of Warcraft is meant to be this gigantic thing but I'm pretty heavily into videogames and I've never met anybody that's played it.

>>74124872
only koreans play WoW

Alri lads, Conor here ask me anything

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>>74124867
no, fuck you

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>>74124886
Why do you stand on your tippy toes all the damn time?

>>74124886
Will you ever come to Texas? I want to meet you so bad. What if I came to Ireland? How do I meet you?

>>74124872
It was big around 2010 but not so much nowadays

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>>74124594
>screenshotting your own post

not even him but thats super embarassing

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>>74124872

>that feel when I've unironically played on and off since 2004

>>74124954

>The guy who lives vicariously through a retired fighter on a chinese imageboard calling anything embarrassing

>>>/cfnc/ is right over there, guys

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>>74124954
I'm with coral springs

That's some reddit tier shit, Adan

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The disrespect!

Post some Grasso

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>>74125023
here you go-o

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i could heem everyone here and twice on sunday

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>>74125023

>>74125124
if you heem me, i win

Post some platinum

>>74125124

Let's meet behind Kelsey's you monkey

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>>74125151
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>74125151

>>74125151
THOUGHT YOU WERE ON THE FAST TRACK TO UFC SUCCESS BOY
ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH

>>74124745
Dawww, u just got a gf or smt bruv?

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>>74125151
Fucking footraces man

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>Ariel Helwani @arielhelwani 1m 1 minute ago

>Anderson Silva injured and out of UFC 208, more to come

Is this considered white in Netherlands?

>>74125236
didnt even check

>>74125236
Why would you lie like that ? Didn't your mum raise you to be better than this ?

>>74125236
Andy too much of a pro for that shit

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>>74125245
Forgot pic.

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Moustache Yoel will make Bisping submit before the fight

So are high level amateur wrestlers just built differently or is there a pervasive PED culture ingrained into the sport?

>>74125236

zzzzzzzzzzzzz try harder

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>>74124954
>>74124981

you fuckin wish I would screenshot your post

gooby
<----

>>74125277
Any well established sport has extensive roiding base

>>74124838

*portions some dip for you*

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How long is Stipe going to duck Struve for?

>>74125306
Yeah but most of the wrestling guys look like lab experiments.

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*portions pregnant wife*

>>74125321
Because short and stocky is the optimal build for them vs long and lanky in striking sports. Their build emphasizes musculature

>>74125336

she's been having trouble sleeping because her back hurts a lot :(

>>74125265
Bisping will beat Yoel

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>>74125336

hi

Is there a chance that Holm will try to take de Randamie down? Seems like Germaine doesn´t have any groundgame.

>Bisbing isn't the greatest MW of all time

USADA proved it

As soon as it became and even playing field BisGOAT became champ

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IIIIIIIITS TIIIIIIIME FOR OUR MAINEVENT OF THE EVENING

In the blue corner, this man is a communist idiot, he stands at 5 feet 8 inches tall...BERNIE "THE FREE SHIT" SANDERS

And now, fighting out of the red corner, this man is a professional debator and fights for freedom and conservativism, he stands at 5 feet 10 inches tall...the reigning, defending interim champion of the USA, TED "THE DELEGATES" CRUZ!

>>74125403

Probably

>>74125444

kill yourself

>>74125444

*portions cringe*

>>74125422

>le got lucky cause luke let him heem man

lad....

>>74125444

>politics

*pukes*

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>>74125478

Go to bed Luke

>>74125452
>>74125455
>non-Americans
>relevant in how the entire world is run

>>74125218
I wish m8.

Just sick of the cuck meme

>>74125488

>having a celebrity for president

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>>74125422
Dan Henderson is the real MW champ, that rolling thunder he did at the end was more significant than anything Bisping threw.

>>74125499
Yeah, we also had Regan and he was pretty based

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Why is he doing this? Just raking in money while he still can?

>>74125523

he's a fighter

To the people who dislike Jon Anik, what are your reasons why?
Legit question and I'll respect your opinions, just curious. He's always seemed safe and inoffensive to me. Kind of dull and grounded but I liked that over the more hyperactive Goldberg style.
I only started watching three years ago, was he a lot worse before that?

>>74125512
top kek

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>>74125484

>greatest MW of all time

Lad....

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>>74125506
true

>>74125539
he talks like a radio announcer and he looks like a 40 year old at a bar

>>74125539
he's too damn neutral and indifferent

to put it better,goldie was goofy but far more enjoyable

>>74125574
>he's too damn neutral and indifferent

pretty much this

he doesn't put on a good enough performance to convince you that it's better than you yourself could have done if you decided to try to call a fight

he's just not good. he's not bad but he's not good

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>>74125422
yeah sure muhammad.

>>74125484
Will we get a better post fight presser?

>>74125498
I'd be ur gf bruv, my masculine penis can complete your feminine penis

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guess the fighter

>>74125623
Implying he isnt just pulling a dana white

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>>74125633
>implying I implied that he wasn't

>>74125642
Lel

>>74123367
I wonder if he quietly calls the fights to himself while he's watching.

>>74125403
>obvious striker vs striker match up
>fighters are shown extensively training grappling in embeddeds

Always triggers me

>>74125623
>taking dana white seriously

He's a sales person, not MMA analyst.

>>74125666

>Implying it will be a kickboxing fight all through

How come karate fighters can always do cool flips and stuff?

>>74125695
because of bruce fucking lee and enter the dragon

>>74125399
Bisping won't outpoint Yoel

>>74125679
The most grappling it will have is maybe some clinch trip and a quick scramble

>>74125711
yes he will and he will take rounds four and five

>>74125779

No he won't. He'll get heemed in round 3 just like everyone else.

>>74125658
>Goldberg, I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go
>IT IS ALL OVER

>>74125779
Yoel outstruck Machida

Was tentative in Weidman fight because he couldn't use his kicks freely due take down threat and also the way he throws left is susceptible to be ducked under and shoot

Bisping doesn't have TD threat to Yoel

Yoel will outstrike Bisping comfortably

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>>74125779
Bisping is going down in round 1, romero is gonna literally send him to the other world

>>74125852

>Yoel outstruck Machida

A deleted Machida

>Yoel is my boy
>despise Bisping
>every reason in the world to think Yoel effortlessly smashes him
>nothing but anxiety about the fight though

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>Bisping can't handle Silva
>wins
>Bisping can't handle Rockhold
>wins
>Bisping will get KO'd by Hendo
>wins

Bisping will always find a way to win, baby.

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God damn, I want Holly to sit on my face SO FUCKING MUCH.

>>74125942
Everyone thought Bisping was going to beat Hendo with ease though. It's like there's temporal vortex of unpredictability surrounding him.

>>74125910
Don't be anxious friendo, Bisping's a pillow-fisted gatekeeper who merely lucked out against Rockhold. He outstruck two deleted 40+ year olds in Hendo and Anderson (both of whom did far more damage during the fight) and barely scraped past #14 Thales Leites. He's been running on luck and fumes recently, Yoel will end the meme.

>>74125942

He is the natty GOAT

>>74125942

>>Bisping will get KO'd by Hendo

Lol he was supposed to win that fight with relative ease and then he had to slog his way to a dodgy 48-47 where he got dropped twice. Nice "revenge"

>>74125953
You can say it like that but he's still winning fights and he's still a game opponent. I think Bisping is going to surprise a lot of people before Yoel warms up.

>>74125963
Fight smarter, not harder

And he will definitely fight smarter than Yoel.

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>>74125953
Almost 40 year old Yoel is next in line to outstruck city, believe you me

FAWK YEW BUDDEH, AH'LL WOOP THAT ROIDED CHEAT YOEL

>>74125949
Her face is completely fucked up dude. She only looks OK in certain lighting

>>74125978
>Fight smarter

Him fighting smart is getting clocked twice by le overhand right 50 year old man?

>>74125997
She has really nice hair tho

>>74125949
That makes no sense, she's a striker bruv

>>74125999
Well points is all you can resort to if you want to fight people with heavy hands

He sure as hell isn't going to out wrestle Hendo.

If Bisping went in swinging , the result is basically Eddie trying to outbox Conor. Which didn't work out whatsoever for him

UFC 208 EMBEDDED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9pjEZduo78
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9pjEZduo78
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9pjEZduo78

>>74125997
I don't give a fuck, I would wife her in a second, and make her work out every day, so she can sit still sweaty on my face.

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>>74126010
She looks like my fuckin mom

>>74126035
Weirdo, this is why Putin invaded your country

>>74126035

Stop being a goof weirdo

>>74126016
>He sure as hell isn't going to out wrestle Hendo.
>Can't outwrestle a 46 year old guy
>Can't even knock him out
>Will do well against Yoel

>>74126039
Your mom has a nice hair too is she a total sweetheart like Holly too ?

>>74126042
>disappoint you wife by not eating her ass

This is why your women are choosing ahmed over you.

>>74126042
>>74126063
BTFO

>>74126053
Didn't Jon Jones have a hard time with Hendo in Submission Underground?

>>74126057
Yeah I guess

>http://brucebuffer.com/project/personalized-championship-introduction/?

who wants to sponsor one for /heem/?

>>74126070
By a meme? not rlly bruv

*portions (You's)*

*portions dockdwarf*

FREE FIGHT
https://youtu.be/Xknapyn5fac
>ywn accidentally sleep through this fight with headphones on because Cung Le vs Patrick Cote was literally that boring and you decided to lie on your bed watching your monitor

>>74126119
>in the red corner
>he is a dank meme fighter
>he is 9000-1
>standing 5'7 and weighing in at 400 lbs
>fighting out of coral springs, florida
>he is the reigning, defending, undisputed schaubposter of the board
>HEEEEEEM SLEEEEEEEEPYYYYYYY

That would be nice to have a a recording of buffer yelling HEEEEEEM SLEEEEEPY like he would announce a champions name. It's the same intensity I say it in my head whenever I read it here.

>>74126189
autism

>De Randamie doesn't stand a chance
>Holm is the elite of the elite

Good joke, Holly is fighting out of Jackson/Wink . That gym is an assembly of caricature fighters. Her masterful gameplan will be to stay on the outside and pop the jab.

>>74126205
there's a reason why De Randamie is always looking so smug

>>74126205
You're the faggot who said that BJ Penn can't lose the fight, right?

*portions fond memories of fatherly bonding*

>>74126201
.....what are you even doing here?

*portions sperg*

DILLYBEDDED
https://youtu.be/moZ5XU-7KSE

Measured my wingspan yesterday since I was curious and it turns out I have freak conor-tier reach. Guess I should start training

>>74126223
No I said BJ can't even beat CM Punk which is also correct.

>>74126254
Do you measure this from closed fists or from fingertips ?

>>74126275
Fingertips

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I'm back! Feels great to not be banned. Sucks I missed TKZ vs Bermudez. What a great event that turned out to be. OSP getting upset, Hill vs Andrade was spicy and TKZ heeming Bermudez.

Schaub bless everyone for a wonderful weekend and another spectacular one in the coming days.

Silva vs Brunson. Is Anderson going to get BJ'd?

>>74126205
i think randamie striking is stronger than holm, if i were holm i will only practice my jiu jitsu and take the fight to the ground.

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>>74126189
haha good one my man.

I'm actually way taller than that!

>>74124204

>Projecting my mind

>>74126350
I don't know if Holly has ever shot in her life and it's not too smart to clinch with GDR. I'm sure their gameplan will focus on striking and programming counters to what GDR likes to do.

Think I'll get better value if I wait until fight night to bet on Germaine?

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Ok lads I'm ready to step up and get into webm making. Can anyone recommend a free program for mac that works with mp4 clips?

>>74126449
Yes. The late money will be from casuals that recognize holly as the woman that killed ronda.

>>74126472

>mac

You failed before you even started

>>74126497
That's what I was thinking. Thanks man

>>74126344
Why do you stay banned and not just evade?

What fight are you most looking forward to on Saturday?

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>>74124071
kek

rully makes you think

>>74126472
Not entirely sure bruv but I think macs also have shell terminals so if they do just go to the safe for work gif board and read to sticky on how to use ffmpeg, trust

>>74126472
It's against the law to make webms of ufc content.

*portions size seven work boots*

>>74126556
Oh noes

>>74126568
You're tough now, but you probably will not be in prison. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

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>>74126510
>Why do you stay banned and not just evade?
I like to follow the rules. I've just always been that way.
>What fight are you most looking forward to on Saturday?
Silva vs Brunson. One of the first events I ever watched live was UFC 77 so I sort of feel a bond with him. Wherever he is in his career - when his music hits - it always feels like a big fight.

>>74126583
>naw bruv naw listen if u dont rape me ill get u that proper netflix
>noice
Who even needs bjj

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>>74126344
welcome back buddy take a sexy schaub

>>74126624
>when u have to wingwoman for ur midget chubby friend who wont stahp eating

>>74126472

>You now remember the Machida era

>>74126653

>You now remember the wonderboy era

>You now remember the Serra era

>>74126472
first step, get windows
second step, learn how to use open broadcaster
third step, webm for retards

>>74126472
what kinda fake fitefan uses a mac? that's some soccer fan tier shit

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl6G62cy9UU

>>74126785
Young Jamie uses a mac. I love my macbook pro. Super light and thin, great display, great keyboard and trackpad. I also own two other laptops, an hp and a toshiba. I'll never go back to a windows laptop.

>You now remember the Perry era

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>>74126807

>>74126807
I think the shittalking is for the OS not the hardware bruh. Check out ubuntu or mint, like mac but without the ass fucking

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>>74126344
so thats why heem was so comfy this weekend

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Come on /heem/, you don't want to be a LOSER do you?

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>>74125260

no

REMINDER: My girl Grasso won that fookin' fight. The judges were just racist baka

>>74126892
Yeah, that's why I bet on Brunson.

r8

>>>/wsg/1532815

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we

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>>74126920
>fookin'
>baka

>>74126944
ARREEEE LIIIIIVEEEE

>>74126920
naw G

>>74126933
On app and cant r8. Post it here bruv?

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>>74126944
wuz

>tfw we will never get a Conor vs the entire ufc roster press conference ever again

>>74126920
Nah, she's my girl too, but she didn't deserve to win. I was surprised that she though in the end that she had a chance.

Here's a juicy cameltoe to make you feel better.

https://youtu.be/MELgjqY72ZE?t=158

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>>74126891
we can pray the mods see the light one day but until that day

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>tfw to smart for mmapoopgest
https://youtu.be/h2mlhk9XjYk

>>74127007
>it's a half of the invited fighters don't get to say a word conference

Name one person who is better looking, smarter, funnier, more fashionable, more successful and a better a fighter than Brendan Schaub.

I'll wait.

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>>74127083

>>74127083
lol Artem

Francis Ngannou

Tyron Woodley

>>74127083
Roy Nelson