/hoc/ - fuck earlyfags

hockey is shit

>>74034244
>female integrity

Why are sluts always such attention whores and bandwagoners.

>>74034288
>why do women act the way they're biologically programmed to?

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>>74034288
no man knows anon, we just plan around it

Two minutes left in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final and the team you coach is down one goal to the Capitals.

Do you call for a stick measurement on Alexander Ovechkin?

Is this real thread?

>>74034340
depends. who's my man on the inside with the caps?

Did she at least pretend to be a Canucks fan while dating that bust?

>>74034353
How can this thread be real if hokkei is not real?

>>74034353
yes

>>74034368
>man on the inside

Ovechkin has a banana curve. It's not a secret.

>>74034415
whether or not it is illegal length is in question though. if i had backstrom telling me it was too long, i might listen.

not holtgay though

Fuck you goddamn autists
Right in the ass

Bob speared a nigga. Right in gizzard. Still losing a smidge.

>carry on

>>74034415
Lmao all russians do something to their sticks

I took a trip to czech republic to participate in a pro development camp
I met this russian that used a heat gun to bend the curve of the stick 5-6 cm farther then it was normal

He played in the elite league and he was a khl prospect and he told me everyone in russia did some shit like that

>>74034564
can you call a goaler for spearing? i mean you can't really eject them, can you?

>>74034590
You can. Goalies can be ejected, but the league probably won't crack down on it.

Price the other month punched his blocker into the head of a defenseless player already face down on the ice, which is an automatic ejection.

>>74034590
I feel like I've seen it happen after a goalie fight.

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>>74034396

>Mandatory Goalie Pants
LMFAO Buttman

>Barclay's arena does not meet NHL regulations
>The NHL knew about this and did nothing
Why is Buttman so spineless?

>inb4 he is a jew

>>74034623
>>74034626
okay, so say you eject the starter and the backup goes in. what if they get injured? do you bring back the starter that was just ejected?

>>74034720
Money

>>74034720
Forgot to say that their cooling system is what doesn't meet the standards. I doubt there are rules regarding sightlines since more arenas do not suck penisdick.

>>74034728
No

Either the team needs to bring up a goalie from some nesrby minor league affiliate
Or one of the players needs to dress up and play the net

>>74034728
Remember when Luongo and whoever was backing him up got hurt and the goalie coach almost went in but Luongo drove back in time?

>>74034753
Or the goalie coach.

>>74034771
And they lost 3-1 to the laffs. Weird shit happens in Sunrise.

>>74034753
don't really think calling up a goalie from the minors mid-game is really feasible. they would almost have to be in the arena already for that to work, so i guess a skater would dress

>>74034728
The rule states anyone can be goalie. There was a game where Florida lost both Lu and Montoya and almost had to put in a coach, and in Toronto they had both Bernier and almost Sparks out and had Kadri volunteering.

>>74034791
It's absolutely not feasible which is why it never happens

But rules are rules

Also see post regarding goalie coaches

>>74034752
i think its the piping for cooling system specifically. the rest of the league uses steel pipes, barclays uses PVC. anyways i imagine the league viewed the barclays arrangement as temporary with either the arena undergoing renovations or the isles using the temporary security from the deal with barclays to figure out a more permanent arrangement.

How is Don Cherry still commentating on Hockey?
Biased piece of shit

>>74034244
anyone else going to a game tonight? canucks vs the mild out here

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>>74034860
don's suit game remains an inspiration for canadians across the country

>>74034860
Why is Denmark allowed to comment on hockey?

>>74034860
How can you hate based Cherry? I'm a sunbelter and even I like him

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>>74034457
>earlyfags loses AGAIN
pottery desu

>all these empty seats
>first chant is pro-hawks
lmao
dallas should relocate

>>74034900
He provides no actual insight, just a watch for entertainment.

>>74034860
You shut your whore mouth

>>74034893
His suits are hard to hate I'll give you that

>>74034899
plz mr leaf
As long as there's atleast one dane in the NHL, we'll be around

>>74034900
I just find him to be very biased, very one-sided; very cringey to watch, a waste of time; his commenting on the all star game was so bad too

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BEEP BEEP

RON HAINSEY JUST SCORED

>>74034860
I hope that is is tumor on his jowl.

>>74034893
His suit tonight reminds me of a couch found in a 85 year old grandma's house.

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>>74034995
>hawks above the metro
I don't understand
I like them, but I don't understand

>>74035025
>His suit tonight reminds me of a couch found in a 85 year old grandma's house.
a few years back they did a special on CBC where they showed how he got his suits. no joke, he would go to thrift stores and buy old couches, and take the patterns from those

Blues Penguins thread?

>>74035062
Use the actual fabric or just copy it?

>Don Cherry has worn a suit that has been pissed and ejaculated on

>>74034995
Delete this asshole

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Matthews takeaway off Backes leading to the goal

>>74034982
>his commenting on the allstar was bad

no, the all star game is a farce and him giving 0 fucks about who cares is the only good opinion

>>74034941
delet pls

>>74034995
I honestly don't see the hawks being a contender, unless they make trades that adds to their depth, which they currently lack for the playoff run, imo
Both the Wilds and Blue Jackets are dark horses, it's gonna be funny to see how/if they can maintain their current form in the playoffs

The avs.. lol

>>74035126
He copy it. He buy this shit at a fabric shop and makes it himself.

>>74034860
>not liking good ol Ontario boys
I bet you take it in the ass

wow, i wonder if dallas fans realize their team doesn't wear red...

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GG Duckfags

>>74035151
>stop liking what I don't like

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PLAYOFFS HERE >WE COME

>>74034564
Are you even here at the game feggut?

>>74035164
people just pick Chicago out of laziness now, they're not actually good anymore

>>74034590
another player does the time

>>74035259
Very true

>>74034564
Humans and furthermore mammals don't have gizzards. They have teeth and as a result have no use for a gizzard. We don't even have vestigial gizzards. Dumb tripfaggot.

>>74034564
what's a smidge?

>>74035368
A very small amount

the Devils are on fire

>>74035415
thanks

Just bought a hoodie for 200 Canadian monopoly dollars. It better be good. Pressure's on, Canada.

>>74035517
It was made in China

>>74035536
It was not.

>>74035536
>inb4 jokes

>>74035556
How would you know, because it said so?

>>74035517
It better suck your dick for fucking 200 doll hairs

JAMES VAN RIEMS-GOD

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WHY DO THEY ALWAYS STRUGGLE AGAINST BUFFALO HOLY SHIT

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>Killer raising my hopes only to dash them later
Pad those stats, my nigger

kek,ANdy Greene's equipment laced in oil

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Zajac!!!

Holy fuck Sidney

Kind reminder that Sidney Crosby is STILL the best player in the league.

Future Hurricanes/Whalers rivalry here lads.

>>74035694
>le score behind the net meme

what is this, 2007 all over again?

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>>74035718
higher chance of nords-isles rivalry desu

Fuck what's going on with the jackets

>>74035732

watch it again you turk rape baby descended cunt

nylander on calder watch

busthews on suicide watch

>>74035759
>bad team losing

seems normal

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Nylander with his first career hat-trick vs. Rask

>finnish goaltending

>>74035761
kek, look at you all excited for the concussion man!

>>74035786
But they aren't bad

>>74035759
regression to the mean. had to happen eventually, they were scoring goals at an insane rate during their winning streak

>>74035805
they are though

Lol wtf is the Bruins doing?
Karma for having that rat Marchand

>>74035805
>But they aren't bad

>>74035786
I 'm glad I witnessed a historic season for them. I 'll be able to say in teh future I was there for the 10-0 against the Cana-dix-ens. And the NHL is full of underdog teams that made the Stanley Cup. Plus, wild jackets fan who appears, is a good poster.

>>74035828
They aren't, they wouldn't be in second if they were

Andersen completly out of position, ready to blow the lead
What else is new?

>>74035793

Just joined Wayne, Mario, Orr, and Mike Bossy into top 5 PPG all time. Feels fucking good.

>>74035849
Why do you say that?

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SSSSSSSCCCCAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!

>>74035849
they're not in second though.

wheres sweden anon, he would have loved this

>>74035865
Frans Nielsen is the first Dane who got to play in the NHL.

>>74035870
wow, that's so interesting! Maybe he is third all time in backhanded goals too! Or even first in goals behind the net!

>>74035903
Busy hiding from refuges

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>>74035870
PPG is the stat you cite when you can't cite anything else

>>74035870
too bad he'll never win another cup though

Canes tho

>>74035896
They are the rankings put them second

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>>74035928
Teravainen just scored wew

>>74035929
the standings say no

TACO TEUVO

>>74035954
Tied for second is still second retard

damn martin got popped

>dat fight

leafs bombston game is good so far

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>>74035984
is it?
why would nhl put a 3 next to their name?

>>74036031
Both have 71 points
It's tied for second don't be a retard

>>74036002
McQuaid left his visor on like a pussy kek

>>74036048
idk man, i feel like if it was tied they'd both say t-2

>>74036079
Literally have the same record

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>Crosby haters are so mad and so jealous that he doesn't play for their team


Now I know why football fans hate the Patriots.

>>74036104
and yet columbus is below minnesota
why would that be? maybe gd?

busthews has been invisible

>>74036128
Crosby doesn't cheat though

>laffs bout to blow this game
LEL

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>>74036175

You're right

>tfw no one know else will ever know that Sidney feel

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>>74036180
>it was 4-1

Why are there garbage cans surrounding the sabres logo in the sabres dressing room.

>>74036174
Minus those two assists, right? One resulting from a great takeaway?

>>74036031
They probably lose on a tie breaker

>>74036281
>muh secondary assists

>Debbies

>>74036326
Are you even watching the game?

>5th overall bust Elias Lindholm has 25 points in 40.6 games now
Is he unbusting? His career looked like it was in jeopardy early in the season, desu

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>>74036351
are you? leafs are winning despite matthews.

>>74036376
i don't know if he is a bust per se but he certainly is a massive disappointed given where he was drafted

REEEEEEEE REFPUCK

>>74036376
Peters is a way better coach.

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Why did Jew Jersey pay off the refs?

>>74036376
Mackinnon and Drouin aren't really that much better tbqh

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>>74036376
Yes. Lindy has been amazing. Great on both sides of the puck. Key part of the PK unit with Slavin and Pesce.

>>74036458
There was literally no contact

>Every team in the Metro
Why so elite? Who do we move to the Atlantic?

ward faking an injury, shameful desu

>>74036501
Give the old man a break.

>>74036495
poo jackets. canes will be relocated to QC and the metro will just absorb the two florida teams to make up for it.

>>74034336
is this photoshopped?

>>74036495
Cones to Atlantic so they can make the playoffs

>>74036523
Atlantic implys they are close to the Atlantic

>>74036495
Switch Carolina with Boston for rivalry reasons.

>>74036555
>Montreal close to Atlantic
>Ottawa close to Atlantic
>Toronto close to Atlantic
Wasted trips.

>>74036555
doesn't matter, detroit is probably further inland than the poo jackets or at least as much

>>74036590
Fuck detoilet

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Who is this man and why is he the GOAT?

>>74036589
Technically about 15000 years ago Ottawa and Montreal were underneath the Champlain sea, which was part of the Atlantic ocean. Montreal is the Canadian city most at risk from rising sea levels in terms of potentially displaces people.

>>74036666
Wasted quads France

>>74036695
>Montreal is the Canadian city most at risk from rising sea levels
couldn't happen to a more deserving place. literally the worst people in canada.

>>74036732
Yes

>>74036351
Coilers babbies are so triggered by the >mcsecondary meme lol

>Phaneuf
>C0nd4n

Fuck this.

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Time for the inevitable Lightning collapse

>>74036666
not even the best player on his team desu

Holy shit these refs SUCK

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SSSSSSSCCCAAAARRRR

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Jackets comeback happening

>marincin

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>>74036964
It should be 3-2

>Canes will blow the lead again

>>74037005
I don't think I've ever seen a player as bad as he is get defended as much as he does. He's so fucking bad but he's somehow still always safe.

>Stalock signed by Minnesota for 650k/year for 2 years.

>suns

>>74036964
Fuck you, I got excited for a second

>>74037054
Wasn't that a couple of days ago?

>>74037103
Maybe as a rumor, but the details have been confirmed today.

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If the Sens score one goal a minute, they can still do this.

>>74037154
>If the Snes socre

Good one

>>74037054
They're going all in on the 3rd stringer safety net. Probably alright when he's buried in the AHL on that mediocre Iowa team.

matthews is snake bitten

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>Lightning PP

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Pongs desu

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Fun fact: only Crosgod has scored more points in the last 12 months than Mark Sheifele

>Letang injuried again

How can one player be so injury prone

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Fuck this team.

>>74037291
God killed Luc Bourdon quickly, he wants to make it slow for his best friend Letang

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>>74037351

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>Jackets

>>74037191
>le miss shots man

>>74037382
They're playing Detroit on Tuesday
They will win

ffs I hope someone has the balls to start benching the BJ's veteran players.

I remember something about "you have to work to play" but at this points it's obvious there are exceptions and it's growing more disappointing all the time.

>GG devils. you deserve it

>>74037484
>you have to work to play
Yeah the vets have been
Bob hasn't been very good lately and losing savard and nutivaara for that period really fucked us up

>beat the penguins with malkin 12 days ago
>losing 3-0 to the penguins without malkin
what did the blues mean by this

>>74037585
Allen vs Hutton

>LAFFS

Matt Martin getting bitch slapped like a fucking bitch LMAO.
https://youtu.be/gxXElZYxesY

C A N E S
A
N
E
S

They kind of use Hainsey in more relevant situations than you'd expect though. Weird.

>IT WAS

>>74037602

It was a fucking farce to begin with. Dude jumps on the ice and goes after a dude for laying a legal hit on the team's star player.

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The Islels literally let Ron Hainsey score the OT winner

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WOO WOO WOO

>>74037634
It was his star center. He has to fight when someone lays out a player like that.

>>74034771
>>74034790
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN3o3o_LEVA

see this meme game where some forward played goaler

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This isn't the first time

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>tfw haven't been posting on /hoc/ for a few days
>tfw no one's (((THICC))) posted
Needs to change. Super bust Virtanen has 9 points in 33 games

mathews with a mcdavid assist for his 3rd point of the night

>>74037833
>tfw could have had Ehlers

Bruins commentators confirmed for worst in the league

>>74037833
It ain't too late to trade him for a 2nd and 3rd.

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>laffs

EL EM AY OH

leafs are pissing me off, but this is a fun game to watch.

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>>74037869
>Tfw Ehlers, Nylander and Ritchie all have more goals in the NHL this season than Virtanen has POINTS in the AHL+NHL this season
>Tfw Haydn Fleury has more points than Virtanen in the AHL
He's an elite bust

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Go Preds

why the fuck arent teams trying to get a kings ransom from the leafs for a mediocre defenseman?

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>>74037869
>tfw could have had Moligny-Gretzky-Bure line

no words are needed

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>Bishop in the shootout

>>74037889
Broons commentators are imo the most biased of them all

And thats including the fucking >rags commentators

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>Laffs will fuck over my team by giving the Ruins points.

>Ruins
>Laffs

This is just embarrassing 2bh.

>>74037969
>wanting someone else in Kurris place.

Ur a gay

how many points does Alex Tuch get tonight?

>Point is now 80% in the shootout
I like him

>>74038030
Cantpucks can't score, but their defense is just mediocre

>>74038028
Kurri barely had any gas left in the tank by 1996 he retired in 1998, just here i'd take Moligny or even Naslund over him.

>babcock about to fight the ref

>>74038030
goal, 2 assists

>Ruins

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>Bishop actually wins a shootout
I mean, okay

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>>74037833
we've missed you

I don't want to play the penguins in the playoffs it won't be fair
We won't win

>all dat bombston refpuck

wew lads

>>74038087
What's he on about? I'm at a bar and can't hear the TV.

>>74038193
Three things:
Potential too many men penalty on the Bruins
Komarov's penalty for barely touching Pastrnak immediately afterward
The Bruins sneaking Bergeron on the ice with a late change to take the faceoff right at the end

>>74038091
so he is elite?

>>74038071
I actually agree. Kurri went down hill super fast.

>>74038166
I know that feel
I want to see the jackets win too

>>74038221
it's insane how much shit bombston gets away with.

>>74038252
soon, next year will be his breakout season

Who the fuck is this lunatic raping the anthems at the Henrik Sedin night?

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>tfw my asshole is feeling kind of raw from being puckered so tight during that game

>>74038306
Singing the anthem at a Canucks game these days is widely viewed as a career-killer, so you get bottom-of-the-barrel acts like this.

>>74038339
Steve Dangle pls go

>>74038221
That Komarov penalty was so fucking bad

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>Shorthouse calling the game
>No Garrett

Literally perfection t b h.

>Detroit cant score on a 5on3 powerplay
>actually they had 6 on the ice
>cant score on a 6on3
>too much man penalty

Is there a reason nobody's been making Red Wings game threads lately?

I want to laugh at everyone.

OFFICIAL PLAYOFF PREDICTION:
ATLANTIC:
1) Montreal Canadiens
2) Toronto Maple Leafs
3) Florida Panthers (Condon gets injured and Sens collapse)
METRODOME:
1) Washington Capitals
2) Pittsburgh Penguins
3) Columbus Blue Jackets
4) New York Rangers
5) Carolina Hurricanes
CENTSHIT:
1) Minnesota Wild
2) Chicago Blackhawks
3) Nashville Predators
PACIFIC:
1) San Jose Sharks
2) Aneheim Ducks
3) Edmonton Oilers
4) Calgary Flames
5) Vancouver Canucks
ROUND 1:
Caps<Canes
Habs<rags
Leafs<Pu$$yCats
Pens<BJS
Hawks>Preds
Wild>Nucks
Sharks>Flimflams
Ducks<Oilers
ROUND 2:
BJs<Canes
Pu$$yCats>Rags
Hawks<Oilers
Wild<Sharks
ROUND 3:
Pu$$yCats<Canes
Sharks<Oilers
FINAL: 2006 rematch: Oilers in 7.
Only reasonable prediction considering our current era in sports.

what number is this Tuch guy?

does any team have as many unpenalized slewfoots per game as the ruins?

>>74038502
69

>>74038502
53

My lizard woke up 5 am just to see Finnesota rape the cucks.

>>74038467
>This actually happens
>But the Canes win the rematch instead
>Canafags eternally BTFO
Best timeline ever
t. Avs fan

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>>74038467
Good post.

>>74038467
>leafs playoffs with this defense

>>74038530
>owning a lizard

Do Finns do anything that can be considered normal? Is this why you kill yourselves in droves?

>>74038467
>Canes not winning the rematch

lmao no

>>74038556
lizards are brotier dude

>>74038543
>implying any self-respecting canadian wouldnt be cheering against the coilers

>>74038556
Bearded dragons are like dogs. Friendly and active.
Why the fuck wouldn't you own a lizard.

Mrazek isn't even that good, hilarious rebounds everywhere. A miracle the Preds haven't scored yet.

>>74038590
>>74038616
You're both hopeless.

>>74038643
don't think anyone thinks he's good m8

he literally had the crease taken from him by an ECHLer

>>74038644
>mad
>at reptilians

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>>74038644
>mad at lizards

>>74038691
BASED

>>74038691
Why is his name Morrison?

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>>74038467
Andy is coming back soon though

>>74038698
He was so cute as a baby.

>>74038728
Because he's a shitty vocalist.

>>74038728
Really?
You fucking millenials go trough life not knowing anything.

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It is truly mindboggling how the Red Wings become an objectively worse hockey team when they are on the PP. It doesnt seem like it should be possible to be worse at hockey when there are less opponents against you, but holy shit they pull it off.

I like these.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEy1Fbbxy_0

>>74038728
http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question87979.html

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Goat

>>74038822
Has anyone kept track of which year that started?
I don't remember anymore.

CROSGOD
R
O
S
G
O
D

WHAT A GREAT GOAL

>>74038861
He's almost got some Heatley shit going on with his eyes there.

>>74038865
The pp has always underperformed especially when Datsyuk or Franzen would be out. This a whole new level of ridiculousness, like 0 shots on net with 5on3 for 1:47.

The fuckers actually dump and chase on the pp.

>Toews scoring an empty netter with one second left to try to distract from his SHIT stats

>>74038822
more personnel on the ice doesn't always mean it'll be the right personnel. most of the successful PPs run primarily through multiple players who are both shot and pass threats and can get the goalie moving and defenders scrambling

>>74038861
How can one human bean be SO ugly but be SO GOOD at hockey?

Mrazek is E L I T E

Fuck. You had One job blues.

>>74039018
Maritime genetics

>>74039018
replaced the beauty genes with hockey genes

good trade

>>74038643
Holy fuck are you kidding, he was on fire tonight.

He had some amazing steals

>>74038467
first of all

>>74039068
Nah he was having a lot of trouble, Wongs defense did most of the work. This wasn't the "push the rebound into the corner" type of stuff. They were going right into the middle of the ice. Amazingly poorly played despite the shutout.

how the fuck did that not go in

>>74039147
He literally had like 40 saves.

Anyone else here hoping the canucks can make the playoffs

>>74039232
no

>>74039232
No
-Canucks fan

>>74039229
That's why it was amazing.

>>74039232
If we let the canucks in the playoffs, the tripfags win.

BINLANNNN

>>74039273
You don't accidentally make 42 saves. Mrazek stole the game.

>>74039232
Yes. And hopefully they play edmonton in round 1

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>>74038549
>leafs playoffs with this defense

implying their defensive stats are bad

granny smith you beauitful bastard

>>74039324
I didn't say it was accidentally, just very sloppy. He played objectively poorly but didn't suffer for it.

KULLI-MIKKE

Migayel Granlund with a 12 game point streak.
I never thought he would be a star in the NHL due to his small frame and weak skating but he is fucking doing it.

>>74039232
no
t. cantpuck fan

>>74039518
i knew he was gonna be great

fucking pants, who gives a shit

>>74039518
>small frame
And yet plenty of you mongols suck Aho's dick despite him being even more of a manlet.

>cantpucks fans cheering against their own team making the playoffs

Why?
It's not like you'd draft anyone good if you didn't make it.

>>74039574
Ahos a qt little boi, Granlunds a creepy goblin

How do you stop the penguins from repeating?!?

REEEEEEEEE ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR

>>74039593
If you miss the playoffs management gets antsy for that missed revenue and starts firing people.

Presumably.

>>74039604
pens won't even make ecf

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>>74039601
Granlund used to greasy and pimply with shit hair, now he's handsome

>>74039545
Imagine the NHL with Olympic ice.
He's literally the best player in the world on big ice when he has that extra split second.
His hockey iq and stick handling are the best in the NHL but his short legs and small frame will always hold him back.
His body is made for a wrestler, not a hockey player.

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>>74039635
He unJUSTed himself in a massive way

>>74039661
hes a hockey player

>>74039693
he finally got a chance to play wing

>>74039574
Aho has the wheels and skill.
Granlund only had the skill.

Aho is the next Saku Koivu.

Crosgod has 30 goals already in 45 games

IMAGINE if he hadn't missed the start of the season

RED ROCKET
E
D

R
O
C
K
E
T

>>74039696
a Yugo is a car

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>>74039703
>next Saku Koivu
>next irrelevant shitter who never wins anything

>>74039725
is it tho?

>>74039733
Someone made a sporcle quiz "goalies that Saku Koivu has scored on"

Played it, was pretty fun to randomly guess goalie names

>>74034893
Don Cherry is memer. Does anybody take him seriously?

>>74039771
Your 12 year old self

>>74039733
I believe Saku Koivu leads all centers in scoring in the Olympics.
He also lead the NHL in scoring in 1996 until his knee got BTFO'd.
Even after his speed was hindered a bit he still managed to score 832 points in the NHL.
All this while fighting cancer, sewere eye injury and 2 knee injuries.

Saku was a fucking warrior.

>>74035870
>citing PPG
>in the middle of his career

BINLAAAAANNNNNN

this fucking shorks/doggos game is hilarious

>>74039635
E L I T E
L
I
T
E

>>74039928
Granlund is Swedish/Norwegian origin name that means spruce grove