Confessions Thread Pour your hearts out, babes

>>25508621
i hate myself and want to die

I masturbate while listening to asmr

I've never been with a guy but fantasize daily about it.

I want to make a guy cum.

I want a cock in my ass.

I want to suck dick.

I want someone else's cum in my mouth and ass.

Never find anybody though. Makes me sad.

>>25508621

I want to take Alice out on a few dates, get to know her, get comfortable with each other and slowly attain that trust that people gain as they grow an emotional bond. I want, in time to hold hands and give her sweet little kisses. I want to meet her parents and her to meet mine. We can have thoughtful and rational conversations and arguments, always civil and able to calmly conclude without blowing up at each other.

It's just an impression from her visits on here and a little chatting on kik but she seems like the kind of person who is rarely nasty to others but it takes a lot to have her feel like she has a connection with someone and at all times she would be straight forward and blunt with anypne she is close to.

She's lovely, fun loving, reserved, thoughtful and seemingly deep. Not that I could be sure of that, hence why I'd like to take her on some dates. One to a classy place like an art museum and one to a bar with pool tables and loud music.

I'm sorry for lying to you, I won't do it again.

I haven't had sex in three years. I'm an otherwise well-adjusted person who has a good job, social life and I'm not so bad looking but one day I just couldn't deal with the constant letdown of mediocre sex with mediocre people anymore and I got tired of trying. I'm probably losing my mind, I think.

I've been with my now husband for about 12 years. I'd die for him. We sorta have an open relationship with rules. I've done stuff woth a few men and it's been fine. he hasn't done anything with any women (we've been getting me to a point where I can be okay with it). Within a week this *girl* from his work has come into our lives, has stollen him away from me (not exactly, but she's in a bad spot and he's being a good friend.) He's hung out at her place almost every day this week after work (we asked me first). Out super late. He gamed tonight and I was so excited for him to come home so we could spend time together and he asks if she can come over and hang out. My PTSD was fucked with earlier in the week cause I woke up and he wasn't home. Right fucking now she is cuddling with him on my couch. I gave permission. I said it was okay. I don't want to be the double standard wife, but I'm fucking dieing right now. They stopped talking regular (cause I'm supposed to be asleep?) and My heart is in so much fucking pain. He know's i'm struggling(he doesn't know how bad it is cause I'm not showing him), and I told him it's fine I need to work on my brain. He is doing nothing wrong (by our standards) but my chest is tight and all I want to do is go into the livingroom and tell her to get the fuck out. She hasn't done anything wrong either. She's nice. This is just me and my brain. It's not jealousy it's insecurity. Just. Fuck. Sure, I/me braught it on myself. That's fine. That aside. FUCK.

I'm lonely, I'm hurting, and I can't do anything about it. Because the last thing I want is for you to see how much you hurt me, how much of a mark you left on me, how much I miss you.

How much loving you became a part of me.

And I know that if I return to our friends, you'll be there. And you'll see. You'll know. And they'll probably find out as well.

I know I should move on. I know now, that it never meant as much to me as it did to you. But that's not how I work. I don't fall that fast, and I don't let myself go without believing that the other person wants it as badly as I do. Believing you did was my mistake, not yours. Either way, I spent a year loving you, and it did settle into my bones.

I love you. I miss you.

>>25509297
Don't you dare hold this against him for just one second.
The considerate thing you should have done is to wonder if maybe you have hurt your husband by fucking other guys. Maybe he has been staying silent just like you are right now. Maybe he has been going through the same heartbreak you are.
You wanted to be a whore, you've been one. Be honest to him about it these insecurities. Communicate! You risk doing a LOT of damage to the relationship. You need to tell him how much you're hurting. He wouldn't want to do this to you if he knew you suffered this much.

This is why i don't trust women. They want to be disloyal at all cost but can't even estimate/predict what it would feel like for their husband to do the same thing. You are clearly not ready for this!

>>25509324
I could've written this as well. I'm sorry, anon. I'm hurting, too. I miss my friend.

>>25508748
I know her. She's pretty sweet and cool but this post is creepy af

>>25509345
I hold nothing against him. The only thing I'm honestly upset AT him about is that he was not home at 3:45am when I woke up. Regardless of if he was hanging out with a woman or his guy friends gaming (it's happened and I was pissed) he shouldn't be out that late.

Sound advice to communicate. Fortunately we do communicate. We have a healthy relathionship (aside from whatever the fuck this is) He set the rules, he said when he wasn't comfortable with a guy. He decided what was allowed and what wasn't. If he wasn't comfy with it he said something and we talked . Me fucking other guys turns him on. (Aside: I'm not a whore. Whore's get paid :P )
I'm a woman who wanted to have different sexual expierences and he supported that. It took 4 years for him to convice me to sleep with other men. For me to not feel guilty for doing it.

I'm not communicating this because I know it's my brain. I'm the one having the issue. He isn't doing anything wrong. He deserves to be able to do what I've done. I know if I want it to stop all i have to do is say i'm not comfortable and it's over.

I'm not upset with him. I'M FUCKING INSECURE. He can do better than me. And I know that. We agreed within the first couple years of our marriage that if we find someone else who will honestly make us happier, we would be honest and leave the other. And we agreed. We love eachother enough that we want the other to be happy. If that means he leaves me for another woman, okay. Yeah, I'll be traumatized, but at least he'll be happy.

I was going to "attack" you for that last part cause you're just being silly. Yes, please gender stereotype all the females cause a couple ladies banged more than one dude.

Our relaionship is unconventional. Nothing is perfect and nothing starts off amazing from the get go. I know this problem is me. Not him. I'll figure my brain out. If there is serious bad juju I'll talk to him. Until them I fake it till i make it.
Thank you. I feel better.

>>25509413
Sounds lile yall need to close the relationship. I went through something similar with my boyfriend (except i didnt date any men, just one woman). I found that our relationship was suffering and that it wasn't making me happy

>>25509419
Mmm I don't think so, but I see what you mean. My brains pretty messed up (from stuff before his time) and this didn't help. But we'll work through it like we have everything else. Ha. I sound like a crazy person.

I'll probably talk to him tomorrow and let him know the cuddling really hurt me. It's too personal. I don't want a connection with others, I just want sex. What's happened so far with her feels like more than that and I that's part of what's bothering me. We know her, she's a person that he see's somewhat often. Okay. Welp. I need to sleep. Will probably sleep terribly. That's okay.

I'm sorry that didn't work out. Finding what works and what doesn't is difficult. Hopefully you can find someone that fits better. Best wishes.

>>25509413
The stereotype is rather accurate, i'm afraid. I'm not at all saying all women are like this. It's just very well possible a random woman is like this. Hence the trust problem.

>>25509433
Stay calm. He sounds like a good man. Just be honest and direct to him the next time you see him.

>>25509433
Well if you arent going to close it you need to set different boundaries at least.

My relationship is fine btw we only closed it, not break up

>>25509378

Not the intention, probably just over-projection. Point is that I'd like to meet her and I think we'd get along.

>>25509413
wow man its almost like sharing intimacy with multiple people ruins the point of what intimacy is LOL what a surprise

I've been wanting to kill myself for awhile. But I don't want to feel like a coward for running away from my problems.

>>25510151
If you die, you won't feel anything. No shame, no regret.

>>25510151
you wanting to kill yourself is a part of your attitude. if you are going to die when you kill yourself, why not kill your ego instead and throw yourself out to do things without running away from anything?

>>25509297
Well, this is your fault. You created this.

I have an incredible fascination with asexual women, but I hate that most of them are super hardcore LBGTQ. I'd love an asexual GF if she was more than her sexual identity.

I constantly feel like I'm one push away from snapping and killing myself or someone else.

I've manipulated people my entire life. In high school I had four different friend groups; the jocks, nerds, normies, and druggies. I crafted each friend group and to each group I was a different person. I made sure that nobody in a different group could possibly interact with another. I could act like anyone I wanted to be and I could pull it off quite well. I made people see me the way they wanted to see me. So many people thought that they knew who I was, but nobody did. I can't empathize with anyone. I want to feel love, but all I feel is rage and depression. I found someone who I want to open up with, but I don't know how. I've never let anyone see the real me, and frankly I don't know who the real me is either. I am trying not to manipulate her, but I don't know how to make a real relationship. I'm losing my sanity.

I think i'm asexual and have no desire to be in a relationship, but some part of me wants to be bisexual.

>>25512399
If you only get sexually excited from the same gender, then maybe ya just gay, senpai. Unless I'm missing something. Only wanting closeness, an emotional bond and having no desire for anonymous sex doesn't make you asexual, just different priorities, if that is your situation.

I'm in love with a girl that already has a boyfriend. she has absolutely no idea that I feel that way about her, and confides in me whenever she and her boyfriend have relationship issues and every single fucking time she does I die a little bit inside.

I'm a polygamist with three wives. Over the past couple of years, I've found myself emotionally and physically drawn to one of them almost exclusively. I wish I were monogamous only with her, but I have children with all three, and it would be catastrophic to disrupt the arrangement at this point.

I want a girl I can please with toys because my small dick can't do the job.

>>25512713
That's a seriously bad situation to be in (been there, done that). I'd recommend getting the hell out of it, sooner rather than later, because the psychological damage of not getting out of there is potentially quite severe...

I really wanna hook up with an older man. Like 20-30 years older. Every time I get the chance, I chicken out bc it'd be really easy for something to go wrong.

I really, really want to bang one of my superiors at work. I'm a stoner and he's never touched the stuff, and we joked about him getting high with me, and I kinda hope I can push the issue because I'm pretty sure the situation will turn sexual. He has a girlfriend though, and I know it'd probably make things weird at work... But I keep fantasizing about it.

>>25512822
Don't be a homewrecker

>>25512838
Good advice! I have no intention of really acting on it, but he doesn't seem to care and that's what makes it a little (a lot) worse.

>>25512847
If he is willing to cheat with you, he will certainly cheat on you later down the road. I'd advise just keeping it a fantasy tb h

I once jacked off with a jumbo sharpie covered in coconut oil up my ass on the freeway, I came buckets.

I self-analyse far too much, and probably to my own detriment. I have all these cheating/cucking fantasies, and I get off so hard to them. But I kind of hate the conclusions I come to when I think about why I'm like this and why they turn me on.

>>25512804

How old are you?

I think i love you Lj.S.. Iv been thinking about you almost every day for a year now. I know you kinda like me, but then again i dont know anything about you and neither do you about me.We could give it a chance, maybe.There is no fcking chance you ll ever probably read this, but i wish we could work out something just to see where we might go with it. I. T.

>>25508717
Recently tried out this fantasy. A few times. It's hot. Why not use Craigslist?

I was in love with my best friend for years. A few months ago, I decided that I had had enough and that I needed distance because I couldn't handle her dating people.

Now, she's emotionally falling apart and I don't know what to do. If I start talking to her constantly again, I'll be right back where I was. If I leave her alone, I'll feel guilty about letting her fall apart. I've helped her through a lot of difficult times before, and I don't know what to do.

its been three years since i broke up with my ex and im still not over him

i fear i will never find love/sex/intimacy on the same level that we had

im an asshole and i always fuck everything up

i want to die but am too much of a pussy to kill myself

Kinda like the idea of having a boyfriend but genuinely not interested in putting in any effort. Think I'm a bit cynical because I assume it won't work out with 99% of people who show an interest. My vagina is gonna dry up soon.

>>25514500
i'm the same, the other way round. I like the idea of being with a woman, but i can't be asked to go through all that chores and pretends to actually be with one. Kik?

One time in early high school i told a girl she was "too skinny" for me to be attracted to her. I also once called a girl fat to her face just to be mean when I was like 13. Also when I was little I used to provoke my dog and pick him up when he didn't want to be picked up and stuff.

I feel really guilty about those things to this day

>>25514520
Discord? Crube#4371
If not post your Kik.

>>25514287
uh... tell her how you feel? you've already ghosted her, so if it goes south stop talking again and you're just back to the status quo

ive been getting to know this cute girl over the last few weeks. we've hit it off, i think theres chemistry there. we've opened up about a few things. today i learned shes in the fetish community, and she incidentally dropped her name on fetlife

when i got home i immediately made a fetlife account specifically to look her up. i have now seen her tits and she knows nothing about it. i feel like a creepy rapist stalker

they were nice tits tho

I want meet someone whos submissive enough to let me fuck them then let me beat the shit out of them.

>>25514988
if she mentioned her username she would have known there was a possibility you'd find her photos. if it was me i wouldn't think it's a big deal, especially if i was interested in the other person.