Get it off your chest

I miss you, Ellie.

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girls keep saying that im a really good looking guy but i have absolutely no luck in getting into any sort of relationship for one reason or another

i just want a close friend. my last irl friend got pissed at me because i'm a blunt person and when she tried to apologize i just cut her off completely. i don't want to be a burden on anybody. i want someone to be close with who can take some bluntness, some NOT talking all day.

is there something wrong with me? i can't imagine what it is that i've been missing for so long, but i can't completely wrap my head around why i'm failing to make close friendships, either

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Had a horrible social interaction today, I truly see I just like and enjoy being alone and on occasion coming out of my shell. I don't enjoy situations where the attention isn't on you and you have to force yourself into social interactions.
I used to blame myself and say I hated myself too much, but I have to be honest I just don't care a lot about other people that much. Maybe that's why I'll always be the loner in the office

I think its over for me and at this point I just don't like people that much

Last night I cried for the first time since high school. I miss you but that's not what made me tear up. I cried because of how horrible I was to you. The emotional abuse I made you go through is worse than any physical pain. I am so sorry. You loved me and I loved you, and despite that, I chose to treat you like shit. I feel so stupid for not realizing how wrong I was. You would've done anything for me and I chose to step over you at any chance I got. I thought that I was trying to make you a better person, but you've always been better than me. I can see that now. Uses to take pride in not being like my father but I was so wrong. I'm just like him in the worst possible way, I put conditions on my love. I controlled, I dismissed, I threatened, I shamed you, I hurt you so bad when you only had pure love for me. I think about you everyday and I want you, but I don't deserve you. I don't want to play games with your emotions. You can find someone that's not nearly as fucked up as me. I'm ashamed. I was looking for love and when I found it, I decide to crush it. I don't deserve you, and I can't trust myself to be the person you should have. Take care of Pepe.

I've got a really bad habit if ghosting people I've got a solid chance dating, even planning on going on dates then canceling and just stopping talking to them. I really need some fucking help because I keep doing this to really fucking cute/hot people and I can't seem to stop myself.

Part of it might be I just got out of a two year long relationship with an asexual and I can't freaking get used to the idea that physical intimacy is ok again.

I regret standing up for myself constantly. I know its for the best, but I miss the people that leave when I won't be a pushover.

i hate all women other than my gf and mother

I've been forcing myself to undergo a reverse conversion therapy of sorts to prevent myself from facing rejection from men. I'm not worthy enough for their attention or love, I'm trying to get myself to stop finding them attractive. I'll just be some lowly dyke instead.

>>25494632
the baitiest bait that ever baited

>>25494637
I wish. It'd be easier that way.

I really hate it when people who think people who wear make-up are lying to you. Make-up is as much as an art as it is an accessory.

I really want to try to get more into it, but I've never really gotten the chance or the funds to get really crazy into it, but I have mad respect for people who can literally transform in an hour just by poking at their face.

It's also a hobby, but people out there call it a waste of money. I mean, if you're not into video games, buying video games is a waste of money. If you're into that, dropping 60 bucks isn't terrible, so if you're into make-up as your hobby, you shouldn't feel like getting that 40 dollar pallet is an actual sin.

Seriously, stop fucking judging people for doing whatever the hell they want when it really does nothing to you.

>>25494637
That's pretty much how all lesbians start out though.

She'll be a stereotypical butch man hater in a few years.

>>25494819
You are definitely a thot who cakes on makeup like a whore and calls it art.

I am allowed to judge you, because you're shit.

>>25494826
It is art, and art is subjective. You might not get it, but there's a community for it. If caking on makeup is all it took, anyone could do it.

Also, I suppose your allowed to judge, but it doesn't make you any less of an asshole

>>25494826
we get it funnyman you hate women

>>25494833
>art is subjective

Said every shitty, no talent artist ever.

>your allowed to

I'd rather be an asshole than a thot.

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I have finally accepted that the only thing my past relationships have had in common was me. Meaning I either have shit taste in women or I am a colossal asshole. Probably both.

>>25494842
The MGTOW is strong in this one

>>25494846
>wahhh he said mean things to me he's an MGTOW

go draw your eyebrows on thot

>>25494841
Maybe you should too, unfunnyman.

>>25494826
Never, men are superior to women in every way, even care giving. Men don't find me attractive, I'm just trying to spare myself the pain.

>>25494845
Eh, at least you're self aware, it also means you can change.

>>25494861
>change
One step at a time. I doubt I am that self-aware.

I'm feeling really down and lonely. Cut myself off from my only social group because a girl who I'd had a thing with came back, and it just fucking hurts seeing her.

That was a couple of months back, and I'm steadily running out the clock on my tolerance for extended periods of loneliness. But whenever I poke my head back into that group online, she's still there, and that still hurts like a kick to the gut.

This fucking sucks

>>25495175
What's stopping you from meeting new groups?

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>>25494508

>>25495189
Social isolation and anxiety mostly. Also the feeling like I've got to bring something to a group and my hobbies/interests are fairly limited: I got into that group because I was heavily involved with the activities that it formed around.

My depression might be a little better, but my writing is still autistic :^)

>>25494575
...Smol Lil Kitty on snapchat?

>>25495197
I can definitely relate to that. What is it about the girl that makes it impossible to interact with that group? Was there heartbreak? Awkwardness? What would be the hurdle with her that you would have to jump to get back into your friends?

>>25495238
Heartbreak essentially. We were super close, but it turned out in the end that it meant a hell of a lot more to me than it did to her. And now just her being there fucking hurts.

I still hope my ex will talk to me. Not to get back together, but because she was my best friend for years and years, and she will not talk to me anymore.

>>25495201
Are you asking if that's me? Cause that's a no.

>>25494427
i hate life i hate life i hate life i want to join isis to get a slave gf but i'm addicted to benzos

>>25494575
Hit me right in my feels. Feels like this was written for me even though its obv not.

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>>25494598
Hi me, how are things? Daily reminder that Jess straight up loved you and you havnt talked to her in two months and every day you don't shuts out any chance of having her in your life again, and all because "you feel like you can do better". How's that working out, champ?

I'm conventionally attractive but females hate me once they get to know me, ergo I'm a virgin and feel like fucking ending my shit

You motherfuckers are lucky you have someone to miss, I'm 19 and never felt love, fuck up cunts

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>>25495517
>>25495520
>he thinks women are the most important thing in life
BWAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>25495477
Great. Now I feel double shitty.
In your opinions as strangers, looking at what she sent to me before I ghosted, how bad did I fuck up?
She was super cute and supportive I just somehow didint feel....satisfied?

>>25495551
Didn't* jfc

>>25495556
Sometimes that happens. Just because you feel you should like someone, it doesn't mean you will. But ghosting is the most childish thing anyone can do. Use your words and tell her something. Be nice. Judging by her message, she sounds like a sweet girl who probably didn't deserve to be ghosted. People who do that are usually scared little boys/girls in an adult body. Don't ghost people. Talk to her and apologize. That doesn't mean you have to date her. As a matter of fact, if you felt you could do better, then she's probably better off without you. Sorry, anon. Just trying to be honest.

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I have to be an adult and leave my parents house, get a job and stuff.

Also I have a hardcore boner for latex and it's expensive as fuck.

I hate how cheating is considered a "natural thing" for some. This is not okay. Makes me scared to have an actual relationship because I just expect every men to cheat on me at some point, but at the same time I have to have a connection to someone to desire them and to want to fuck them so here I am, haven't had sex in almost 2 years, can't do one night stands, haven't kissed in half a year and I'm needy as fuck. I can't stand this situation anymore.

>>25495771
Connection with someone**

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My boss doesn't respect me at all and he has been bullshitting his way around certain topics, frankly this is my fault since the way this dept is structured is one of the oddest things in any company. I'm at a point I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm starting to feel like they want me to quit and move on but I just don't know yet, I like the job and want to stay here for a few more months or maybe another year but I don't know if I can last t any longer. I can't stand it anymore

my loneliness and depression are driving me insane
my life should be so much easier and stress free but there's always external and internal voices/pressures dragging me down
I want to move out and get an apartment so fucking bad so I can embrace the loner life but that would leave me in a state where I would be practically living pay check to pay check and my supervisor won't give me any overtime nor change my schedule so that I can get a second job
I should have went directly to my manager who really likes me but now it's to late since I already talked to my supervisor and I'm not going to be that employee playing mom and dad

also my last date really fucked me up because she showed me my potential and raised my standards but we had to end things because she was looking for friends and us cuddling all day making out and fooling around triggered her ptsd (she was raped) and made her realise that I was not good for her mental health and in return she wouldn't be good for mine because I'm looking for a partner to love and care for and not a friend I'll always want more from
it's a little more complex but no point in going into details

to sum this all up it's been around 18yrs of wishing I was dead and the last 4yrs have been truama after truama I just wish I could get off this wild ride or gain back my sanity or what little of it I use to have
like I use to be incredible sharp for my age with a great memory now I feel as if I'm below average intelligence wise and I can barely remember half the shit that goes on during the day since my head's filled with so much clutter or pure silence

Im probably gonna be a fucking loser for the rest of my life

>>25494819
At least make up makes people want to fuck you more whereas video games usually have the opposite effect

>>25494842
who hurt you?

>>25495790
hell I use to get shitfaced and act completely sober which my friends where always intrigued by but now I'll slur my words and be completely sober I wish I knew what was wrong with my head I think its just the heavy anxiety and depression taking it's toll
not to mention the toxic living situation I'm.in

I love you Ms M.I., but I hate that I'm such a coward to not tell you how I feel. I'm a fat loser, why would you have feelings for me? But I can't escape the feeling of connection we have, but I hate to possibly lose the only friend I've made in almost a decade.

I miss when you're away from me so much it aches, and yet...ugh, I jsut hate the my own mental bullshit won't let me be happy.

Yes, this is the most beta fucking thing ever, and yes I know it's pathetic...but I've never been successful. At anything. Ever. So why would this be any different?

>>25495820
That's really sweet, anon. If she's a nice girl it won't matter if you're fat and if she's not a nice girl then she doesn't deserve you. Just make sure you're not jumping ahead of things, it'll hurt like hell if it's not reciprocal

I miss you. I miss when you would talk to me all day and be silly. I miss hearing your voice every day, and every night before bed. I miss when you liked me. I miss when I mattered.

Now I'm alone and you don't have the time for me. You're happy and now you're at a place in your life where you don't need me. And you've been in this place a while now, I just kept hoping that maybe you would miss me one day like you used to. I hoped that you would see something funny and think of me, or maybe you just needed to tell me about something shitty at work so you would call me.

I miss having my best friend but I know I fucked it up. I know it's my fault, and that I'm too old and ugly and boring now.

I just want to go back five years ago to when I got to be a part of your life and you wanted to be a part of mine.

I miss you. I'm so lonely.

>>25494427
I want a job so I can get more involved in politics and I want to move out of this God damned house away from my Abusive Father and buy a house in the countryside so I can live a more peaceful life away from all these disgusting leftist pigs and immigrants.

I masterbait on my cat just to convince myself I can get pussy.

I drop subtle hints on my girlfriend trying to convince her to get a sex change.

my parents meet on craigslist and I don't know how to feel about it.

I AM NOT GAY! but the first person I ever kissed was a guy, my boyfriend at the time wasn't pleased

I kinda wanna be ginger.

my dick a variety of bumps and blisters I'm worried will show up on my hands due to prolonged contact.

my cusin's ass is the only thing I stare at when I visit

>>25495921
What

honestly quite unsure of whether ill ever get into a relationship again, as im above 20 theres no a whole lot of chances to meet women others than drinking -- which i dont do and even if i did i wouldnt want a woman that drinks

maybe even worse i dont know if there is anyone out there with decent character, women seem like theyre hardcoded to be fake

I don't care that you broke your arm

last summer i made out with like 8 girls and got laid once. this summer nothing?? why did i stop progressing to become a womaniser, idk what changed

I'm so despondent about everything. Everything I try goes totally wrong. There's no escape from this hole here. I feel drained. So far, I still haven't found a real purpose in life. Sometimes, I'm afraid to get out of bed in the morning. There's nothing to get up for.

>>25496083
>womaniser
Start by never uttering that word again.

>>25496284
/pol/ pls

I wish I knew what was it that caused you to consider me as just a walking vagina, when you used to be head over heels for me. You ignore my texts and then text me when you're drunk and want to come over. I wish I could just cut you out of my life but I'm pathetic and I think I feel for you. My friends tell me that I can do better, but I feel like you're the best I'm gonna get. I get I was stupid enough to believe the things you said, I guess I should give up on the hope that you'll feel something for me again. Hopefully I'll be able to say goodbye soon and wish you all the best, just not today.

>>25496735
You deserve way better honestly.

>>25496750
Thank you Anon <3

Happened to me a while back, but still feel like sharing

>Be me, 16
>Learning how to drive
>Going through the process of taking classes and in-cars and all that
>Drove car before, but not on street
>First in-car goes horrible
>Worst I did was hit a curb and get to close to come cars, but my instructor, who's in his late 70s, was an asshole that didn't make me feel any better for the mistakes I made
>Second in-car
>Gotta pratice manuerverability
>Kinda like parallel parking test, but you move your car though some cones in a parking space
>Instructor explains it to me on paper, doesn't demonstrate it
>I have zero idea what the fuck I'm doing
>Just kinda awkwardly moving and stopping as I bump the cones
>Don't do anything right
>Instructor has no patience
>Yells at me, says he can teach a dog to do the maneuverability better than I was doing
>Confidence = Shattered
>Pretty much scared me out of driving for a year and a half
>Have to go to therapy for what he said
>Legitimately feared getting behind the wheel of a car thanks to him

I got my lisence a little before I turned 18, so it could've been worse, but still, it could've been earlier if it weren't for him. Seriously. Fuck him.

im really fucking tired of being alone. im also not in a situation to properly date until i have a job. I want a fucking girlfriend already (trans pref, idgaf if you think im a chaser, i know im not). I wanna be happy with someone, i wanna share my happiness. I wanna hold and to be held.

>>25497648
same here man, i'm just not a faggot like you.

You know what, I'm just going to say it:

I don't care that you broke your elbow.

I don't know how to tell my boyfriend I'm probably lesbian and even if I did I don't know if I'm ready to lose him. Yes, I'm pathetic.

I hate people that have bigger penises than me

I hate you all

I'm 90 percent sure I'm going to get shot by the end of the year

Im the worst girlfriend ever. My boyfriend seems disinterested in me so I immediately go to the internet's and start looking/reading at awful snuff porn. Im trying to find guys to Kik with so I can fucking get off. Im the worst of the worst.

>>25499307
Why do you stay with him if hes not interested? It seems that this relationship is getting the worst of you.

>>25499343
Because I think it's all in my head and im sabatoging myself. He has expressed and shown he loves me so much but im too insecure/have mental problems

The reason i'm gunning for a console and online games. Is because it is just so draining giving a shit or caring. So instead of going to a center to hear other people out suffer each other. Might as well chill the entire August and actually have a little bit of happiness I had lost a long time ago. Converting the stare room into a gaming space too. So 5 more days then order online and then at least for a little bit in my life be happy playing games and just be at peace.

>>25499290
20 bucks it will be by a Black man claiming self defense

>>25499350
>have mental problems
>Im trying to find guys to Kik with so I can fucking get off
I think you are full of shit and just want to be alone. Yet you don't know how.

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i'm a hermit and don't meet many girls
the one girl that legitimately showed interest in me that i also liked back i alienated
ama

Fuck this world fuck you all blind people, fuck my life
I just wanted someone close and now it's worse
If someone is responsible, I swear to you that someday, Il bring your head on a spike
Can't this just stop
I just want to want to live
miss you Rachel, but you wouldn't do in the end
why is anyone so stupid and frail
I never wanted to be a giant trying to play with small, frail psyches
Fuck you all

I've been having suicidal thoughts, but I'm afraid how a trip to BH will affect my career.

>>25499350
kik me funtimes_9169 we are in a very similar situation

Life is pretty good, and it will only get better for me

I don't know where to look for glory holes and I want to find one

>>25494427

I wonder if I'm just too different and stupid to survive in the real world. I think there's a decent chance I'm going to end up NEET and move back in with my mom. I finally have my life together, at least on the outside, at 32, but I have these recurring thoughts that I'm just setting myself up to fail again, and this time I'll finally just give up for good.

I miss you Lacey. I wish I could turn back time and treat you better. You deserved it.

Everyday i scream at the voices telling me to Just Take all those damn Pills and the pain will go away forever. some times i think i should just let those voices win.

>>25495888
I wish I didn't know this feel

I really liked you but you never seem that interested. When you finally decided you wanted me, I found someone who appreciated me more than you did. Now we are both in relationships but I still rather be with you. What hurts the most is that I know you love her more than anything you ever felt for me.

>>25500917
Milfag?

A 20 year old has been harassing me but I can't tell if it's for attention or if she actually wants my balls to slap her asshole.

>>25500917
Its going to be okay.
I understand now could be a hard time for you.
But stay strong.
Things will get better.
If you are thinking about getting help I think you should for your own safety.
Please stay safe and I hope things lookup for you soon.

I cannot stop cheating on my girlfriend. I feel guilty about it afterwards but it doesn't take me long to get horny again and when I talk to one of my cute friends I just can't help myself.

The fucked up thing is that I really do love her, and I don't want her to find out because I don't want to hurt her. I'm trying to stop but I'm addicted to sexual attention from girls. I wanna get over whatever is causing this and be able to build a life with her, because she really is the best thing that ever happened to my life.

>>25494473
Can relate.

>>25502212
You're just a horrible person desu and you being with her is just toxic for her :^) she may be the best thing for you but you are the worst thing for her

i want to have a 3some with my gf

specifically with another guy

i wanna make him wear a mask to dehumanize him, make him shave his body to emasculate him. because i'm the man here, and he's just the toy

i wanna blindfold my gf and make her suck our cocks for a minute, just to humiliate her. ofc she won't know which one is me

i wanna tie her up so she's vulnerable and helpless, and i wanna bend her over, grab her hair and push her mouth onto the other guy's cock while i fuck her. i wanna make her feel like a slut.

and i wanna do it until she cums over and over. and then bring the entire thing up afterward whenever i want to tease her

but i'm pretty sure if i told her, she'd think i was weird

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>Posting feels for the week

I'm feeling like literal death right now, I am almost close to going full on panic mode and I don't know how to calm down

>Everything I've been working on at work is falling apart
>Meeting in an hour
>I might get my ass handed to me or things will go alright since this isn't my fault in the first place
>I'm at a point in life where I want to end it all and it is mostly this job
I should have stayed at a smaller company and never went to work for such a giant corporation. I enjoy the experience I have been getting but I am losing my mind, guys I am losing my mind working here.......................

I keep having these vivid daydreams out of nowhere of all of us to the point where its now given way to obsession. I just wish you'd reach out to us because I know you feel it, too. If you don't make it happen- I will. Toodles butt slutt <3

I've been this guy for the last 2 years or so...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7DxW_IUrzo

also I have a latex fetish.

I really need to cuddle. I've been deprived of physical attention from the other sex for so long. My heart hurts so bad and I don't know what to do.

>>25502904
They ended up agreeing with me after the meeting and I'm actually the right one on this whole mess

I shouldn't have doubted myself..

>>25503590
Good!! And please never let a stupid fucking job make you so crazy. There's a million ways to make money, find something else if it's that bad. Glad you did well, though. Stay strong anon

I need to buy a new computer.
This laptop is dying very very quickly.

I wish that you weren't so closed off. I wish that you would let me love and care for you

I wish you let me comfort you when you were sad

I wish you didn't deny that you were sad just because you felt as though you had to be strong due to... What is it, C? Gender roles? The way you were raised?

I wish you didn't turn your nose up to affection. That would always make my heart sink

I wanted to be your emotional outlet

It made me feel really useless to be shut out like that

I just wanted to care about you, love you

And you wouldn't let me

I need to stop being a little bitch and get over it

I still think about you daily.

I dunno why.

You somehow made me care.

That's rare.

At least your ego will get a kick out of that. I know you love feeling special

>>25502107
Yeah

I am extremely lonely and have no real close friend who I can just talk to in general. To make things worse, I had SAD, so I can't go out to bars or even hang out with large groups of people. I just want someone to talk to who gives a damn about me.

>>25503787
Cheer up guy, you'll find someone that's actually worth it. You should cease contact with people that don't consider your feelings and hate them.

>>25503896
Hey man, I'll be your friend. You got Kik or something?

Goddamn it Sophia what the hell?
You were far from perfect, much more than I was but I loved everything about you and you felt the same.
It's a goddamn shame that she was cheating and didn't get serious until I proposed to her. Those six months I moved to lived with her after the proposal were the greatest times in my entire life so far, even with the borderline personality disorder tantrums she had.

If she could have humbled herself enough to genuinely apologize and communicate properly I would have taken her back in a heartbeat. But instead she insulted and spout lies to me and my family, and the people she knows, after we ended peacefully and she admitted I did nothing wrong. She overdosed and started sleeping around, asking for me back and pretending to forget what she did, telling more lies again and again. Not taking one ounce of responsibility because that would mean confronting her defects.

I loved that woman endlessly with everything I could muster, and helped her through her problems more than anyone else ever did, and she gave me back what she was capable of, which was becoming more and more as we grew together.

But I stood my ground and left her once I found out what she did. I moved back home a state away, and it's been over month now but I still dream about her, and she's still on my mind and embedded in my heart.

She was a good girl, despite all of her ridiculous, difficult behavior and a pretty long list of bad choices.
There's nothing I can do but accept and move on.
It's nothing uncommon, but Jesus Christ, I need to quit the hero complex shit and throwing my pearls at swine before it's my undoing.

I've hated being with my girlfriend for the last few months but I don't have the heart to breakup with her

>>25503952

This sounds awkwardly familiar. Kind of happened to me a few years ago. Down side of it all, these women seem like vampires. They bite you, and if you don't watch your shit, you'll turn.

Nowadays I find myself committing the same behaviour, even though I greatly despise doing so. In retrospect, it does confront me with the perspective of how truly hard it is to cope with life after being hurt in difficult ways(had my share of it already, but this is different), and what happens when you succumb to it. It shows me how hard it actually is to unlearn these malicious coping skills and survival modes. And what a selfish mindset that underlies it, yet selfish in a weird self-protective way.

Watch your shit. It isn't your pearls you should be afraid of losing, it is your ability to cast them.

>>25503908
I'm Witrak on kik :)

>>25503978
Thank you, yeah.
I have the right to be a little bitter, but I can certainly put myself in her shoes, especially because I'd like to think I understood her pretty well. If I saw her again, I couldn't say anything mean other than tell her that she let me down pretty hard.

I'll love and lose again and again until I find myself in a situation with someone that I can build something great together with. It's how the game goes, and honestly I was pretty happy with her and I had a great time until the bitter truth was revealed. I'll always care about that girl but I have to accept that life and people move on, and that I've learned a lot from this.

>>25494508
With a surname like that, what did you expect?

I'm a 23 yo virgin man and i've never been in love or met anyone who seems worth the effort. I am pretty confident I'll end up like my uncle - dying alone.

>>25499272
You obviously care a little since it's on your mind and u took the time to post about it 8)

Life....confuses and depresses me in ways I wish i could explain, but...just find myself unable to more and more, and that depresses and angers me in ways that I...simply am unable to express without people looking at me like i'm some kind of two-headed mongoloid.

I have an amazing job where I work half as hard and make twice as much as most people would. Its...a factory, sure, but its still amazing pay for the work. I have a girlfriend who literally complements me as much as possible and always puts up with my shit, as well as flat out having a higher sex drive then I -ever will.

Being slightly into BDSM and the lifestyle, I also have a wonderful little pet and a beautiful Mistress who both adore me in many ways that I appreciate often. I'm healthy, nearly about to move out on my own into an amazing apartment and life could not be better. In fact I daresay its the best it's ever been.

...and yet, I'm depressed and even more suicidal then i've ever been before. I mean....I know part of it is my condition. I've got one hell of a family history of mental illness and Generalized anxiety disorder is...a terrible thing in my family.

Part of me thinks its just the GAD becoming worse, but....I know my cycles, I know my triggers...and as bad as GAD is...it doesn't cause this level of depression. I....just have no reason to be depressed...and yet...part of me wants to completely break down and ruin my entire life again. Ruin everything...and...for the life of me, I don't know why.

I
Dont
Know
Why

I'm successful. I'm smart, too smart. Loving family, no history of abuse, reasonably good health aside from GAD and Diabetes. Yet....I found myself standing in the shower today, wondering if i should quit my job and just....drive my car into a building. Off a bridge, Somewhere..anywhere. I...I felt like I needed to end everything because I was not happy. But...I know i'm happy...I've got -nothing- to be anxious about.

>>25504516 (Cont)

...lame, isn't it?

I feel like a complete fuck up because of this most of all. Because i -want- to throw this amazing life I've got myself up to away....again.

Oh no, this isn't the first time i've been on the edge here. I've done it before. Ruined my whole life and stared at the edge of a knife or the barrel of a gun.

...you know what the worst part is? I can't just...stop and fix my problems. I cant...quit my job and go get professional medical help because It would be tantamount to ruining my life and my career.

I would be homeless. Penniless and in a state that would feed the vicious thing in me that wants me to suffer...It -wants- me to suffer, even now wanting me to suffer, even though everything is going amazingly.

....I don't even know what to do, or why i'm posting this here. I just....

....I dont know. It...felt right, i guess. I saw the thread and it felt...right.

>>25495865
I miss you too. A lot. We just were nothing but enabler's to each other. And that's barrels into negativity that I could no longer handle.

>>25503972
It'll be easier to do it now. If you feel bad for her, feel bad about wasting her time as well as your own.
There's no way to make it less awful, except for doing it as soon as you can.

>>25494427
I wish could find a woman that enjoys creampies and grool much as i do. I've tried everywhere but seems those fetishes aren't attractive or something idk.

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why tf do women hate me

>>25505076
You kinda look like a wannabe gangster tool. Not trying to judge but that's the vibe I got a second after seeing the thumbnail.

Can't wait to die :)

>>25505076
Shave your face, take out your piercings, cut down on or stop drinking, stop wearing necklaces and swap for a nice silver watch. If all else fails begin lifting weights. Also it may be your personality. I can't tell if you're a creepy clingy jobless loser who dates fat girls because you're desperate or a wannabe gangster douchebag that doesn't respect women

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I don't understand why I have social anxiety. I don't have low self esteem and I don't have problems getting boyfriends but when it comes to talking to strangers/meeting new people I'm always a fucking shy nervous wreck. I know most people assume I'm a quiet person or a bitch but in reality I really
do want to talk, and be outgoing I just have no idea what to say or how to act. People have always said I'm hard to read but I try my best to be straight forward with people. When I got tired of people always asking why I'm so quiet my main excuse became "I only talk when I feel it's necessary". Underneath my awkward exterior I'm a pretty chill down to earth person but most never get passed it due to my inability to let loose around people I don't know. I work in retail so my life is a living hell half the time at work, the only time I feel relaxed is when customers aren't around. Pic related

3 more days and I hope I will get a little bit of happiness back in my life. Yes the struggle and depression of money issues is really getting to me. But as god is my witness I will get through these next 3 days and actually be happy to cut out the entire world for at least a month. I'am so excited and accepted I won't have enough left. But for that little happiness I'm gunning for it will be worth it. So let the depression try and break me. It can't if I have accepted where I'm at and how far I'm willing to go.

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>>25505561
>creepy clingy jobless loser who dates fat girls because you're desperate
quit talking shit about me, /soc/

I honestly feel like I'm losing control of my life. Of my friends, my work situation, of any hope for connections beyond that, of my legal situation. For an age that's supposed to be a turning point, I don't think it was supposed to be this turbulent. I've only been forced into these circumstances because of how badly I fucked up and see, honestly, no way it will improve whatsoever. I'm not bad, just the choices I made.

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I hate feeling ugly all the time.

>>25506630
Then take a 5 min break.

>>25504516
>>25504516
>>25504526
>I'm smart, too smart
Cough bullshit cough cough

It's been a month since we stopped seeing each other and your birthday is coming. I'm seeing girls but I still miss you like a motherfucker and they are not as amazing as you are. But the short time we spent together was bliss .
You were the only girl I could imagine being in love and in couple with and you were the first one that made me feel loved since a long time ago. We had everything in common,sharing the same opinions,liking the same things,it was so weird and also so amazing to me.
I don't know what I did wrong,maybe I did nothing since you just got out of a long abusive relationship,but since you told me that you didn't know what to answer to me telling you my feelings and that you were not ready for a relationship my heart been aching.
It's hard to realize that you were a chapter in my life while I was just a line in yours.I wish you the best,you still are the best girl I've ever meet in my 20 years of life. (french fucker here,sorry for bad english)

I want my virginity back you fucking spaghetti cunt.

I still think about going to the police and telling them everything. I don't because 1) I still care about you, for some god awful reason. 2) I don't have the balls to go into witness protection. 3) I'm scared that the entire time you were gaslighting me. I know I'm not very perceptive or smart, but I think I'll actually kill myself if I learn that convincing me you were in the mafia was just some psychological game that you were playing. If women can manipulate me and make me believe things that aren't true that easily I don't deserve to live.

>>25507430
Jesus you are 20. You will meet another.

>>25507453
aahaahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahah


women in the mafia.


?????


come on you fucking sap it was a lie.

>>25507453
>2) I don't have the balls to go into witness protection
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you fucking really think they would do that. Hahahahahahahahah jesus christ. Also can't get back your virginity no matter what. Looks like you wasted it on a liar that played your ass.

>>25507460
Hope so.
I just had to it off my chest

>>25507460
>>25507491
Just had to get if off my chest.*

i cant hold a stable relationship because commitment intimidates me. also i sadly have a sweet af wondering eye.

I don't if I'm a coward or not. I want to fight everyone that pisses me off but all I do is give a huge smile and say "have a nice day".

>Got any feels to get off your chest?
Yea, this is an odd situation that happens sometimes. I don't want to claim ignorance but I have someone in my life lying to me and at this point I know this bitch is fucking with me. She doesn't actually know me at all and thinks she can get away with this? I'm trying to be calm since she doesn't know the real me but this is normal with most people. When they don't know you they will fuck with you and waste your fucking time, in this situation you have I have to listen to her and if I say anything to this bitch she will think of me as an asshole and probably tell all her friends. I don't know what to do but with women who think they can keep fucking with a man because you wont say shit or smack a bitch. I'm seriously starting to get tired of hoes like this, do they think I won't smack a bitch? I guess I have more to lose than her if I do anything but she is fucking with me and is very disrespectful. She does not know who I really am....

Alright, fine.

You always have a thriving short haired girl thread. As a board, you heap love on the short haired girls. There's ALWAYS a short haired girl thread.

How fucking often is there a thread for the lovely long haired ladies? Once a month? Maybe?

What the fuck, /soc/, why is your board culture apparently SO FUCKING PASSIONATE about girls with short hair, but UTTERLY NEGLECTFUL of ladies with long?

In short: Fuck you.

>>25495921
Anon, youve won this week's grand prize. 25000 years in solitary. It's all your fault

fuck you, bitch

Everyone seems to be very upset or angry. I just have a case of the ho-hums tonight, and I don't know why. So I've laid in bed and cried to myself for about 10 minutes now, and my hum-drum-syndrome has only gotten worse.

>>25508080
I think this has to do with the girls. Having really long hair was the trend a couple years ago now short hair is in. All the chicks who had their hair long have now chopped it off

I want to talk this older guy i like into getting high with me because i'm pretty sure something sexual will happen

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I want to save someone from something. I want to be someone's hero, whisk them away from all their troubles and come live the care free life with me. Fall in love with all their imperfections. Everything in my life is perfect right now I just want someone to share this greatness with.

I think my boyfriend is about to break up with me. I probably am going to kill myself

I'm deeply in love with someone I can't have. I only see him once every two weeks most of the time. When we're apart my heart aches so much. I wish I could tell him.

>>25509094
Don't kill yourself friend. Maybe you could help me with my hero complex. Kik me if you're feeling down Solisis7.

I went to a party after not seeing my friends forever and I think they hate me now. but not for no reason, it's like they've realized all the annoying/mean shit I did/do.

I'm at bad person, and I've always thought I was a good person

>>25509334
It's pretty devastating when you realize what a monster you are isnt it

Bump for later.

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I want to become an astronaut just so I don't have to be on this planet anymore.

im trying to build my life up from nothing. i had school going for me at least a little bit, but I fucked that up. It's been 4 years and now its harder than ever to get back to making progress.

No income, got fired from $10/hr job (probably only step forward I've made). No true passion to make a career out of.

Next to no support system from anyone who understands or cares, save my uncle who might help me move if I decide to. No insurance so can't get therapist or any shit like that.

my best friend since preschool got married last month and I wasn't the best man. barely talk anymore. im probably depressed but equally as likely just a weak bitch that likes excuses

I know I've been my own problem and I can accept that but jesus christ that doesn't make it any easier. I have fifty things to do before I'm anywhere close to being good on my own and what order to do it all in beats the fuck out of me.

i just wanna be happy man. a humble amt of money, a good partner to spend it with, and 1 close guy friend. thats the weakest life's goal I've ever heard and I still can't get there atm

>>25494427
I'm sorry Rachel, we hardly know each other but I love you and I never meant to hurt you.

>>25494632

lesbians are enthusiastically attracted to women lmao this post is pathetic and lesbians don't want you

>>25494826

guess how I know this is a mtf LOL

I want a girl that I can buy a dragon dildo for and please her with it because my dick is small.

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Looks like i got in a relationship. I'm actually kind of nervous, I've never been nervous about my relationships with other humans, what the hell.

>have friend
>be friendly with friend
>tell friend i love her just like i do with closer friends
>plan our future for funsies
I used to do the same with another friends of mine because i actually liked the concept of the series "friends" that thing in which you have a cool apartment and you're neighbors with your friends and you live with sime of them.
>first tell her we should live close
>"we will live together"
>Nicedesu.jpg
>tell her i will have hypoallergenic stuff because of my severe allergies
>"but we will sleep together..."
>pic related mfw

Since i have really bad luck with finding a boyfriend because I'm ugly and such, i actually like the idea of living together and such. But actually I've never been in a relationship so i don't really know if this Is a relationship or just friends being friendly. Mostly because she got pissed off at me some days ago.
>both of us are bored
>send her dumb pictures and jokes
>sends me something related to having kids
She knows i would like to have kids if i ever get married
>jokingly ask her if we will have kids
>talk about kids
>tell her about how i would raise the kid
>we disagree
>tell her "well i might as well just become a ruthless dictator" to lighten the mood
>she says I'm not taking this seriously and that it's saddening to talk about the future with me

I mean, yeah, sorry for always joking and such but i am taking this seriously even if i don't even know if we're a thing or just friends! I even told my parent the possibility of living with friends and they're okay with that, even my aunt tells me to have fun and to never get married because it's a burden.

Maybe she's just sad or pissed off because I'm going to live in another continent so the possibility that i can see her again is small, mostly because Ethiopia is a wild ride i guess.

The military base I live on gets really lonely and I just want a cute girl to spend time with sometimes

>>25509055
Yeah, I did that once
They decided to start fucking homeless guys while I was away for training purposes

I cant stop fapping to interracial porn. I hate it and i hate myself but i just cant stop

I should have told you how I felt Elise....

I recently started sleeping with my 16 year old colleague... It's legal in our country but I feel guilt whenever I am at work with her. When we first started "flirting" she always said that she was 18, she only confessed before we were about to fuck. When alone with her I forget she is a teenager as she is so mature. She is good at keeping it to herself and we get along great but everyone at work treats her like a baby. Is this wrong? I have no intention on dating her as it could damage us both and she has stated she doesn't want a relationship... I don't really want to end it.

>>25512768
aw...

>>25512766
ew...

i've fantasized about fucking my niece. she's legal age, just to give context. it makes me feel like shit.

>>25514071
why? what is it about her that leads you to fantasize?

>>25514075
we used to 'play-fight' when i was about 15 and she was 12. we'd basically pretend to be characters in certain situations, but all we were doing really was rubbing our bodies together in a subtle manner. i even laid on top of her and slapped her ass once. it was getting to the point where i knew it was getting out of hand, so one day i told her to stop - and it stopped.

now she's a little older and has a boyfriend (who's not in her league by any means), and yeah, she developed, and we don't talk much nowadays, but when we do it's really awkward.

>>25514095
I'd imagine so, as you are related it likely can never happen. You can meet other people, right? It's not like you're emotionally attached or anything, right?

>>25514101
exactly. and our family is really close, so if by some really fucked up way something did happen, then it would basically destroy the family if word got out.

but yeah, i'm not attached or anything. it's just a thought that pops into my head when i masturbate sometimes (which is something i'm also trying to stop doing).

also, i read your story. i don't think it's immoral or wrong, per se... how old are you?

>>25514112
26.. she is turning 17 soon but it's still a pretty big gap.

>>25514116
reminds me of american beauty when *spoilers if you haven't seen* the girl at the end basically tells the girl that she's a virgin, to which it reminds him of her age, and he decides to not fuck her. i think it's pretty poignant in the sense that this was a girl who looked really confident and pretended to be 'this' and 'that', and then right up to it, just before the sex, she admits she's just a girl who knows nothing about this stuff.

honestly, it totally depends on context. the fact that she lied to you about her age would spring warning signals if the intention was to get into a relationship with her, but you're obviously not intending on doing that. it's basically a conscience thing then man. it clearly bothers you, otherwise you wouldn't be sharing it here.

>>25514123
>the girl at the end basically tells the girl

sorry, *guy

>>25514123
I don't know, it's just so weird this girl seems to adult yet is so young. It's just a strange situation.

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I caved in to my fetish and bought a suit

>>25514063
It's creepy as fuck

I tried. I tried so hard to keep it together the whole time but it was an uphill battle. She was so sick and I felt helpless to it the entire time. I still care so much about her but at the same time I hate her for being sicker than me. She will always be the winner because she is worse than I am. She is so much more privileged than I am in so many ways and yet the eating disorder shit consumes her so completely. I'm always going to be the bad guy in her eyes and I'm so fucking mad about it. I wish I could stop caring sooner but I'm still so scared she might die in the middle of the night or something. I've always been so replaceable since day one and I've known that so I don't understand why I still hold on to the thought that we could have had or still could have a normal life.

Mental illnesses are fucking horrible

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Weird situation with some chick

has a job, don't really have much to talk about since shes practically a /neet/ at heart and is only interested in talking about video games


I'm doomed to stay single since these chicks and I just don't click............................

I miss you, Anna.

Cries bc now that I'm home all I can think of is you taking off your belt and how I definitely want to see that again, and how i definitely wanted to say something smoother than whatever stupid shit I did, and how I definitely think our conversation should've gone on just a little longer, but i didnt have a good answer or anything clever to say anyway, and the suggestion of a hotel just made me feel kinda gross about what i was asking for, even if i guess its technichally not anything more than hanging out. But how well could it really go, and i just really want to say im sorry for asking for something so compromising, even if thats really not the issue, because you seemed genuinely interested, and we agreed the circumstances just make it hard because we obviously know we shouldn't do this, even if id love nothing more than to just plain hang out with you. I dont know if you know that i just sit around thinking about wanting to fuck you all day either though, and i honestly dont even know how seriously youre taking me, and i guess it really doesnt matter because i can just shut up and let you forget all about this starting now.

I just hope i didnt weird you out and didnt cross some sort of line...

I dont know whats wrong with me when I like so many different people
It sucks because Im in a (closed) relationship and I get crushes

I wan't to kill myself and probably will.

I've ruined every good thing in my life.

Especially relationships.

I'll be dead before the end of the year and no one will care.

>>25515904
If you need a friend, I would gladly talk to you

>>25515910
I end up pushing people away. I want attention and love and meaning but I fuck it up.

I have diagnosed disassociate personality disorder.

I'm fucked.

>>25515917
You're not that bad. Let's talk.

>>25515922
I don't want to bring anybody down with my shit. I never post in these threads but for some reason I did tonight.

>>25515939
You won't bring me down. I have a Kik@ammeditating I'm going to bed but please leave me a "hi".

I've destroyed my own life

B

GFYS

xoxo, B

I miss my best friend that i broke up with a couple of months ago

Stefan, I forgive you but I never want to talk with you ever again. You made your choice of leaving your best friend; live with it.

>>25516314
Same here. It was my fault, I'm retarded.

>>25494427

I used to fuck my sisters long-term boyfriend when we were younger. We were childhood friends and we all hung out together. I started fucking him when we were around sixteen or seventeen and this continued until he left for college.

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I don't know why but, girls I get intimate with through relationships always tell me that I don't make her feel that "spark" they feel when they love someone. They say they love me, they want to be with me, they'd do anything for me but they never felt this thing that they feel for random crushes and what not.

They also seem to find me less interesting quite quickly. They never dump me and say it's not a deal breaker but I can feel the relationship dying slowly, at least on my side. I feel more and more lonely.

I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever find a relationship that can stay alive longer than 3 years. I'm not 30 yet and I haven't had many relationships, but I'm seriously questioning whether I'm able to have one or not.

Maybe I'm supposed to just be alone, maybe I'm just not compatible with women. I feel so lonely getting home after work/gym everyday and thinking about my latest break up.

I'm extremely lonely and depressed. I'm incapable of pulling anyone towards me. My best friend is moving and my other friends seem distant to me. Between the pretty bad social anxiety and the looming depression things are just fucked up in general.

I just want someone to talk to who accepts me for who I am and loves me for being myself. I literally don't even have a sex drive anymore and I just want to be around people.

I'm fucking 19 years old and I feel like I've been on this Earth for too goddamn long. I just want shit to improve. I had a garbage childhood with a shittastic abusive family and zero friends.

Sorry for venting, even though that's what the threads about.

>>25516707
I used to be like you then things improved drastically when I turned 21. Just be patient and put the right efforts in, it'll come.

>>25516746
Judging how my life has been a total shit heap for the past 19 years I don't have much hope. I'm a hugless kissless virgin. Literally all of my friends have been in relationships/are in one (all fuckin 3 of them). I've only known like 5 people in my life and apart from them I was bullied heavily in school. College doesn't even sound like a positive thing to me. It's Uber fucking expensive and all of the classes I want to take are full. Literally nothing seems to go my way desu.

>>25516758
I was a virgin until 21 myself, just have to be patient, things come at some point. As long as you're alive there is hope.

As for college, same comment here. I dropped out of the school system at 16 and I'm now a translator with no studies or anything behind.

Life is tough but it doesn't mean you have to spend it all bending over. Do your best to provoke change and be open minded about it, things will come to you.

American girls are easy to find on soc and they're easily willing to fuck or at least cuddle. You should be fine once you improve.

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I'm still somehow in love with a girl I was with for three weeks, from two years ago. I have shower thoughts every day about her suddenly coming back into my life, and have had psychic readings from family friends that have told me that she's going to come back. Most of my close friends and family have told me to move on, but some have encouraged me to continue hoping.

Sometimes I wonder if she even thinks about me, and I have no idea because I haven't kept contact with her for the sake of honoring her decision to halt communication with me. I could send her a friend request on Facebook, but I've never been the one to invade somebody's life-- and I'd feel like an idiot if I came to her when she was the one who decided to end our relationship.

I feel like she'd have a good reason to come back because she told me that she was falling in love with me at one point in time, but then she told me days later that she "wasn't sure" if she could return what I was giving re: intensity.

She took my virginity, and she was the only girl I've ever loved. Sometimes I wonder if she was just looking for a quick fuck, and had a thing for taking the virginity of men, but only when my mind is in dark places. To be honest, it's been so long, that the version of her that I love is probably not the same version of her today, and I'm deathly afraid of her returning because I'm sure I'd say something stupid, or mess up in some way again. I've had two girlfriend's since her, and none of them have been the same, and I feel like she's really "the one" but I'm probably just a fucking idiot because, how could I think that when it was only three weeks? People say that you can just feel that energy, and when you do, you're certain. I'm riding on that feeling and have been for two years. I bet somebody's going to read this and tell me why I'm so fucking stupid, that I need to move on, etc. etc. Fuck me.

Pic related: happiest I've ever been in my life.
It's off my chest now.

I need friends :(

>>25516841
We all do
),:

>>25516667
Do you regret it in any way?

>>25516841
I'll be your friend
Kik: andys_mountains27

>>25514842
Daddy

>>25517685
lol

>>25516803
Wtf you only knew her 3 weeks and you say youre in love with her? I think you have an idealized version of her on a pedestal that you are obsessed with

I honestly get disappointed when I think about the fact that I will probably never get to have passionate incestuous sex.

I guess it's better to have felt what I felt with you, than never having felt it at all. I miss you L sage.

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>>25494427
For some reason I am not allowed to comment in /adv/ section so here I go.
Ever since I started getting thyroid energy pills in me I have been vividly having dreams of my first love, and they are some of the happiest dreams I ever have. As simple as hugging her. But I wake up to the sadness that not only can I never have that in the real world, that she is also married and moved to north carolina where she kinda became sluttier and might have a kid named after me. And I can't stop thinking of her. If I stop the energy pills I might be able to but I need them to fix my immune system. I want to forget the only girl who liked me then hated/like me, but I can't.

>>25519395
Bro, let go. The sooner u let go, the sooner u can find a new love

>>25519515
I thought I was over it. Was for a long time and even had adventures with other girls. It's just they all never felt like her even if I was closer to the other girls. Had no problems till now when every time I sleep I dream of her.

>>25519395
Think of how she's not what you idolize her to be. How no one is.
First, genuine(ish) love is the worst. You use it as the baseline and idolize it.
It would never be that great again, and both of you are completely different now. That love is now spoiled like two month old leftovers. You can't reheat that shit away no matter how it tasted when you first had it.

I wanna rage quit every time I see you with him. I have to play nice around you every time I see you, and pretend I'm okay. I'm dying inside every time. But unfortunately we have the same friends. I could never tell you how I feel because I know you won't care.

You're more of a bitch than you realize because you lack self-awareness. Grow the fuck up.

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>>25494427
It's taken years of internalized repression to come to affront, but I'm starting to realize how deeply watching my parents' marriage fall apart damaged my conception of love and intimacy.
I'm 20 and almost completely solitary; it feels like the trajectory my life has taken terminates in dying alone.

>>25519891
Same as fuck. Not gonna throw useless inspirational quotes at you to make myself feel better, but I will say you don't have to be a product of your upbringing.

>>25519909
I just feel emotionally bankrupt to any dynamic stipulating a transactional investment in another person for any withstanding period of time.
Part of the epiphany was concurrent with the acknowledgement that whatever vestige of trust and tenderness I have left has been wearing itself thin since a long time ago; I don't feel like I can adequately care for someone that might befall my affection.
Does that make sense?
I'm a kissless virgin and I feel completely numb to any ambition to change that. There was ~3/4 girls in high school I basically ceased contact with once I figured out that they liked me. I've been on dates since then, but it's almost always ended in me not calling them back and it doesn't feel like I can change.

>>25519942
Sounds like you hate yourself. But why tho?

>>25519954
Internalized inadequacy, I guess. It's a more unconscious / underlying self-loathing than people I've talked to about things like this; I've never struggled getting out of bed in the morning or anything. It's more of an incapacity to relate to people and constantly feeling alienated by everything. A relationship has never felt right for me.

I have being a jealous possesive cunt, I just can't control it, and I need to stop because being this way is consuming me a lot to the point I even get exahusted physically...

I fucking hate my ex.

I've been lying to everyone for so long that I've convinced myself half of it is true.

I feel so numb lately. I can barely even taste food anymore.

>>25519992
Lying about what

>>25520004
Basically my entire life. Education, job history, past relationships, stories, daily shit about what I eat or do, etc.

>>25520009
Why? To people irl or here?

>>25520024
Life feels fake and pointless so I just lie a lot. I don't know. I don't really have a justification for it.

And I lie to people in real life and on here.

>>25519992
What are the lies?

>>25520056
>>25520009

>>25520026
Can't blame you, life is shit sometimes but lying about it all doesn't help that much.

i ruined all of my relationships because of my borderline i'm left alone and want to die

I talk to women here because there's no way any of these girls would give me the time of day if they knew how disgusting I was irl. It makes me feel that the only way I can talk to attractive women is through the veil of anonymity. I can be charming and personable with no issue so when they find out how bad I am the blow is softened at least a little bit.

I'm tired of not being sexually appreciated by my girlfriend. Sex is not everything but I'll be damned if it's not important. We've been together for over two years and I am still the only who initiates anything. I am always in control, not in the kinky way but in the way that I do all the moving. I do everything I can to make sure she isn't uncomfortable and being pleased and she doesn't do anything. There's times I wish she would just be an animal and take control. I feel like she doesn't know a thing about what makes me tick in the bedroom. Not to toot my horn but I on the other hand through the course of two years have learned how to make her knees weak. I've considered getting an escort just to know what it's like to be with someone who fucks back if that makes sense.

>>25494427
I'm ugly, fat, spergy 24 khv neet. I feel disconnect from the rest of people and i want to die.

Reading this thread is making me realize that I have a pretty decent life.

I only wished my bf had a bigger dick. Or at least knew how to what he has.

>>25520649
Then learn to accept your inherit defects and you'll be able to do a good job keeping on top of yourself.

While it's not your fault, it's a big defining factor of who you are.
Gettinbetter.com has some great, a little over the top but honest articles on BPD. Find a therapist that specialized in the disorder, there's a whole lot of a difference.

You little goddamned turbo-cunt you. I was engaged to your kind and it was a total rollercoaster until I found out that she cheated on me, at the very least once. The poor girl can't commit to anything and lacks any more than the occasional drop of altruism. Somewhere in that cannibalistic nest of shit and lies is a good girl. But that's her, not you.
Still, you're the only one who can make any change in your life and you're responsible for your own happiness and actions. Be strong and know when your acting/thinking out of line. Thank people too, the people in your life who love you need to hear that.

>>25520710
Them tell him to step it up in bed.

Get one of those books or games with positions and tips or something, and he'll get the point. Communicate, if you don't, you're bringing it on yourself.

>>25520692
See the above post.
Communicate or don't get what you want. You can do it without harming your partner's ego.

>>25520726
They're right communicate now. Determine if that person is willing to change so you don't get stuck in a relationship where you are sexually unsatisfied. People act like it's not important but sexually compatibility can make or break a good relationship, if you're on in long term monogamous relationship.

>>25520719
We've tried tons of stuff. He just isn't very good at it. I've considered just getting him a penis sleeve/extension/whatever since size is pretty important to me.

>>25520763
How is he not good at it and what have y'all tried?

I like thick and chubby girls but my dick aint long enough for them booties

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So this is what it's like to let go. Just a sad empty feeling. I'm just glad I have walked away when I did. Seems the theme of the year. Walking away and accepting it. Oh well life goes on. At least i have something to enjoy for a month solid. Sometimes it is better to stay alive than to win. Because if you are dead you will never win.

This is the worst board, hands down.

>>25520893
There are worse boards grumpy-kyun

>>25494427
I feel like I'm stuck in place in life. I don't know how to start a relationship and even if I did I'm probably not considered partner material in the first place. I keep trying to get out of retail but all I get is standard company emails telling me I can't have entry positions for the most basic jobs. I'm told I'm good at writing, but I've been doing it for three years and I've gained no traction in that either. I just feel like I'm forbidden from improving my station and I'm going to end up dying alone and broke.

>>25520913
What about college?

It's becoming more clear by the day that it isn't going to happen. I don't know what else to do, I don't think I could love anyone else. I'll just pretend it doesn't bother me so much, slowly distance myself, and then off myself so that you don't think it has anything to do with you.

That or relapse. This has been a fucking terrible few years, and it's not going to improve, but thank you for being there for me.

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I want to sell my soul to the devil but I haven't made up my mind 100%yet.

>>25519961
I feel the same way bro. I can never actually relate with people. Can never make connections. I always feel people just put up with me.

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>>25520974
do it.

>>25520959
What drug?

>>25521010
Heroin

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>>25521008
Okay thanks Satan uwu

Youre such a cheap fucking bastard - such a snake. Fuck you for using my cancer diagnosis to steal my gf and fuck you for making me help you get close to her in the first place just because i trusted you and you needed some friends. Such a literal dickhead

It's like afucking drug

>>25521464
I have to listen to my own self. I made a pact. I should follow thru, right?

At the same time, should I respect my whims and the changing of the tides? What should I do?

Fuck I'm messed up.

I know everyone gets lonely sometimes. It's been days since I felt this way. I should just be pleased to have experienced so much happiness and joy. But I've always been so easily consumed by the darkness. :( hold me

>>25499660
you sound like this bodybuilder guy at work I was into for a while. However he was straight and butthurt about some girl turning him down and I was sad for a bit, but now i see him around town and he's a hermit and I'm not longer into him. too bad he wasn't gay, he was kinda dumb though

all i want is to hang out with a nice bearded scandinavian man.

why does mine consistently upset me.

What the fuck is the point? Go fuck yourself. Worst part is I can't even tell you to kill yourself or I'll get fucking banned. Fuck you and fuck this board and fuck all you lousy cheap basement-dwelling FUCKTARDS who sit here and collect free porn while simultaneously shitting on the women who provide it.

Steadily approaching my mid 20s and I'm still a virgin who's too much of a wimp to even try with a girl. I'm worried that my feelings of inferiority to other men, coupled with the amount of cuckold porn I watch will lead to me never being able to have a happy, normal relationship with a girl where I don't want to be cucked. I don't want to be a cuck, and I don't want anything to do with something that is perceived as such a pussy beta thing to be. But I'm worried that I'd enjoy if it happened, and I don't know if I'd be able to accept it.

>>25521552
Whats the pact?

I miss you Chester

I've attempted suicide 3 times in the last 6 months and haven't told anyone except my schizophrenic friend because he understands what it's like to have a mental illness.

i'm such an idiot. why do i keep talking to you? what the fuck do you even want from me? at this point i have nothing to offer but entertainment I guess? but you should be too busy for that...am i missing something? I wish I could be straightforward with you, but I'm afraid of looking desperate and hung up over it, because part of me kind of is. I really did miss you, but I need you to state some ground rules because I'm ending up more confused every time we talk. Is it just fun to fuck with me? I don't understand...

I recently browsed Craigslist's m4m and had a blowjob within the hour. I don't know why I stayed straight for so long.

>>25522616
Why don't you state the ground rules? At least to test the waters.

>>25522643
because i think i'll ruin it if i make any reference to what's happening.and it all really shouldn't bother me, nothing's happening really.

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I fucking hate attractive people, the world is handed to them on a platter and they think nothing of it, and meanwhile i have to wallow in the dirt like a second rate citizen while watching them coast through life with smug self assured looks on their faces.

Like, jesus christ, you actually have the fucking nerve to -complain- about getting hit on. Can you even comprehend the anguish i experience just from looking in the mirror in the morning? The only females that ever show me any sliver of respect as a man are the ones who have inferiority complexes somehow bigger than my own or think i'm too beta to ever act on my impulses anyway, and god forbid i do show some sort of interest. I still can't forget the look of pure fucking disgust i got the last time. My only reason to live at this point is just to fucking spite the people who look at me like the fact that we have to breathe the same air is a nuisance

I refuse to accept my station in life. Everybody can go burn.

Why the fuck did I come here? I was perfectly happy where I was, it wasn't perfect or anything but at least I had the opportunities to forge a decent career, or at least get the wheels moving. Now I have to waste a year of my life sitting around twiddling my fucking thumbs until some asshole in a suit stamps a piece of fucking paper saying I can finally start my new life here.
It's bad enough I left all my friends behind - the only people with whom I could truly be my fucked up self - it's bad enough that I'm introverted to the point of hermeticism and can't function for shit in social situations. It's bad enough that I'm a kissless turbovirgin and can't even have a real conversation with a girl, one that doesn't involve me scraping the bottom of my brain just to find something to say.
It's fucking bad enough that I threw away my only chance at getting somewhere in life because I lost all motivation and became an edgy nihilistic faggot who sat around wasting his student loan on instant gratification, and that the only opportunity I had to turn my worldview around only served to make me more bitter, more cynical, more repressed, more depressed and more of whatever was wrong with me in the first place.
My days consist of waking up and delaying getting out of bed for as long as possible, at least up to the point where I start getting hungry or get a headache from caffeine withdrawal, and only then do I get up, make some coffee and go straight back to lying in bed.
Even my attempts to vent through my only creative outlet end in frustration because I can't afford the equipment to do so properly.
And by far the worst thing about it is the fact that the only place, the only people I can vent my frustration to is 4-fucking-chan, a place that only acts as an echo chamber for my hopelessness.

>>25521640
Nice scandinavian bearded man here. Tell him to grow a pair and act decently.

>>25522654
Ruin it? You don't even know what "It" is...you might be worried about ruining something that's never existed.

>>25522261
Not suicide

>>25499307
What's your kik again?

>>25494427
This board sux

>>25494826
Ow the edge

I'm straight and have a girlfriend but one time when we were broke, i prostituted myself to a bunch of guys on Craigslist and made a ton of money. Most of them just paid me to give me a bj. She never found out.

>>25523537
They paid you to suck your dick??? Damn son that's a good deal

>>25523243
hahha no, this is with an ex. so i've already ruined it before. I don't want anything romantic, but I can't tell if his intentions are good.

>>25494473
i think you're just socially dumb so you've decided that it's all in all not worth your time.

that's just me projecting though. i feel the same way but i've learnt if i approach it correctly i feel like any other social, avid human being

>>25523581
We've been/are in similar situations. I'm the asshole and she's the heartbroken one. I care for her more than you can imagine, but you don't think know how important someone is until they're gone and that's what it took for me. We had some issues that were permeating the whole relationship from the beginning and I was committed to her, but I also made the mistake of not expressing that enough. All it took was for her to have a bad day and everything I did was wrong, then I got mad and I retaliated in much worse ways. I'm not proud of the things I've done to her. Shame is a better word. I don't know if it's my pride or hers, we're also both stubborn as hell, that drove us apart. I miss her and I would love to see her again. I think being apart has made me grow emotionally, pain does that. I can't reach out to her again, we've broken up 3 times already and I always bring her back. How many times do I need to make her suffer? I can't do it again. She probably hates me still, from the last time we spoke. She's probably found somebody else by this time, I don't know. I lost my train of thought, but here's a new one. Some people say that you should never get back with an ex, but some of the best times of my life were with the same girl after I broke up twice with her, and I wish I could've had more.

Would I get back with her? Probably. Would I be better to her than I was before? I would try. I don't think that's going to happen but I know my love for her will never disappear completely. My actions can attest for that whether she chooses to see it or not.

There's many fish in the sea yada yada, but what happens when you find your favorite fish?

>>25523924
I think the roles are reversed in this situation...but I have no idea if he feels as you do.

Whatever happens with you two, I hope you find peace. Sometimes things sort themselves out...what's meant to be will find its way.

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Got uncomfortable around a disabled chick
>Starting to feel like shit
>I'm sure she noticed my discomfort
>My stupid fucking mind couldn't control itself and spaghetti was spilled

I'm thinking a lot about suicide
My mom is dying, I'm disgusting tranny, losing my job. Everything is going to shit

>>25523950
Thanks. I think I made the right choice. If you love her you have to let her go, she'll come back if it's real.

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I managed to get two women here to pose for pictures in exactly the way I requested. With the first one I got a bit of a rush, pic related. After the second woman modeled for me I realized that I had accomplished nothing of note. No amount of women posing for me had any true value as they had done so it a detached and effectively platonic manner.

>>25523973
Thats a guy lmao. Kys fagots both of you

>>25523963
Turn back the tranny, get a new job...get a new mom?

>>25523978
No it's not, it's that nasty Carson chick girl from the SHG.

I miss reading to you, I love you

>>25524057
I know

>>25523987
I can't stop being trans. I can't function as a guy. I hate it

>>25524065
I've never understood this. How are guys supposed to act? If anything it's easier cause we're more relaxed in pretty much every way.

I'm a virgin and I have no fucking idea why girls don't consider me attractive

I am fucking a girl who has a bf, she wants to leave him for me but I don't know what to do.

She is hot as fuck, and a great shag but she seems crazy.

>>25524294
Stop it then

You shouldn't have sticked it in the first place, but I cant blame you
But trust me on this. If you don't try to get out of that situation you are going to regret it. Its really dangerous and Im truly worried for you

my life consists of depression, anxiety and regret. now every day feels the same, i am sick of life

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Nobody can seem to give me some type of advice

>I'm turning 30 soon
>Make roughly six figures and govt takes a big chunk
>Moved half way across the country for my career
>Ended up becoming successful and finally finding happiness
>After a few years of having a lot of money you see that I'm still alone
>I have nothing but a career
>I'm a workaholic
>I work a lot, and have dedicated my life to a career
>I just want a gf, or a friend again
>But these days I find reasons for not making friends
>I have no idea what to do anymore
>Just cant take my mind off of being alone anymore

I am the worst person alive. Every relationship I'm in I just can't seem to reframe from cheating.

I wish people would actually like me especially the girl I like, but I'm just to annoying and obsessed with my sax to actually have anyone talk to me

I really want to talk to more people but I'm having trouble with the whole "fuck what others think" attitude and "just be yourself". How do you become charismatic?

Someone read out the first few pages of a book they're writing to me and wouldn't let me give my opinion because it would 'ruin what the purpose of him writing it is about'. It was total shit and boring with so much meaningless exposition and no tone. He said that it's about the bigger vision and he wants it to be profound and complex to show how much work drains you as if wage slaves don't already know this. Fucking narc cunt won't even look at reading suggestions I give that are about similar things because he doesn't actually read and feels he has a unique perspective. Idek why it annoyed me so much desu I just hate talentless hacks pushing themselves on me.

I love it when you give in and flirt with me, I want you to fuck me so badly, and I'm so willing to push till I get what I want. I want to feel like you want me.

>>25523973
You contacted her personally and got her to pose for you? Or do you mean you made a request in a camwhore thread and a girl did it?

i've pushed away most of my irl and online friend, to an extent. The only girl i felt romantically and sexually attracted to hates me for reasons i do not know why.

I'm inherently a bad person and a narcissist.

I push myself to be a good person but I spend entirely too much on furry commissions. The biggest thing that makes me mad is my inability to draw. I only want to draw so I can draw my fursona anyway. Because of reasons, I can't draw to save my life.

>>25525909
as much as i like to draw, i am not the best at it either frendo.

>>25525944

I used to have bad anger issues and the only thing that triggers them anymore is if I try to draw

it's gay

>>25525945
i find that drawing,writing,painting, playing music, and lifting is a charthsis for my negative emotions. I can see that if you have a mindset that you are the worst at drawing, it will only fuel those emotions. Look at it from a perspective that each time you draw you improve, or intentionally find something you liked about a drawing that you did and didn't in a previous one. Sooner or later you may be able to draw your fursona and say "wow I did that I fucking awesome at drawing."

>>25525963

That's good advice if I ever try to return to it

For now I'm working on learning to make costumes as well as doing taxidermy.

I've made a Tusken Raider, a whooping crane (for a local event), and right now I'm about to start learning to carve wooden masks. I like masks a lot and making them makes me feel good.

>>25525975
that sounds really cool, the wooden mask thing is unque. btw do you like sand?

>>25525993

I do indeed like sand.

>>25526000
but its corse, rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

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>>25526007

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Don't mind me, I'm just a cat.

I like you soooooooooo much. Maybe I'm just lonely. I know I sound crazy when I get jealous and I know this isn't gonna last but I wish it would. Knowing it's not gonna work is strange cause I need to savor every moment but I know I should move on so I don't end up old and alone. why do you hate me :(

I've spent all my free time on tumblr, instagram and fetlife trying to find other latex fetishist and it's been taking all my time so much so that irl has taken the backseat for over a year.

Now that I have bought myself a catsuit, I'm not interested in the fashion shitshow and I'm gonna slowly stop being on social media to connect with people.

The fun part of it is wearing the thing and it seems like no one wants to share that with me so I'm gonna have to give up on the social part. Wish I could find room mates or someone I can wear it with on cam.

I cried myself to sleep almost every night for a long, long time because of you. I never told you because I knew you would relish that idea. You can't say you love someone everyday, kidding or not, and then tell them about all the better people out there who you really love. I was just a big game to you, a fucking joke. I bet you love the thought of me sobbing over all those pretty girls. Maybe I did too; 'cause at least you needed me for something. I just hope that someday you will get to be as lonely as me; I was so delusional in thinking that you cared even a modicum for me that I forgot to plan a life without you in it. Please let this be the last time, I seriously cannot take anymore.

I had a near-death experience a couple months ago. I made peace with the fact that I was going to slip away after blacking out during a violent seizure. I remember being on the edge of consciousness, my last thoughts were letting go and comforting myself by assuring me that the end is here and there is no more stress, no more hassle or work, just rest now everything will be fine. I felt really calm, I said my mental goodbyes and let it take me. I woke up in the hospital the next day. Someone found me and saved my life.

Since that day, I wish whatever happened the first time would come back and finish the job during my sleep or something. I have been nothing but stressed since then, and have slowly started shutting myself off from others, I haven't enjoyed any of my old hobbies, I can't commit to being around my friends, I haven't felt good about anything in a really long time. I want it to end so badly. Has anything similar happened to anyone else? Will it ever get easier?

I don't know whether to try to help you or just give up on you anymore...

It makes me sad you're choosing to become the victim. I might have cheated on you, but you love the idea of taking that to excuse your victimization. You love making yourself feel miserable. You love making me feel miserable. This is the person you chose to become. I wanted to help you, but you don't want to be helped. It's all really sad.

>>25526102
Yes. Please read the book outwitting the devil. You'll find answers there.

>>25526105
How are they not the victim if you cheated on them? Sounds like you're in a delusion but I don't know the details.

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I hope you come back. I hope you still think of me. I hope you aren't dead.

>>25526906
You're you?

>>25526906
>ill love you but ill never say it
Stupid bitch just said...
>>25526911
No im me

>>25526911
You're you
Anon
Anon Anon
I don't know either. She could only ever describe me as a "me" because somehow my simplicity was so fucking unique and beautiful to her that it fell under its own category of pronoun.

>>25499307
kik: WhatUpMyGlipGlop
:))) add me :)))

>>25526943
That's the best she could do?

>>25526961
No that was just a cute thing she'd do. She would always use my name to describe how I go about my business, and I'd always question her on what the hell that would mean. I'm never supposed to know in detail what I am to her.

I'm frightened...
I don't want to be this way, I just want to be a fucking teenager again, everything was simple, no money worries, no pressure, no suicidal thoughts, interesting things happening every day, looking forward to waking up in the morning. It's pathetic but the only things that are stopping me from killing myself are the fact that it would upset my family, and the fact that I want to watch every film, listen to all the music, play every game and read every book I've ever wanted to - but those pale in comparison to the thoughts that everything would be so much simpler if I just... wasn't here

So here it is... I had an affair for 2 years. I so miss her.
It couldn't be; I have a wife & kids; it shouldn't be; it wasn't fair to her, it wouldn't be. I miss her so, I wished it could be.

>>25527534
It's been 2 years since..
It's been 3 months since I've heard your voice; so long ago...
Your blue eyes, your blond hair, your smooth skin. The smell of you... all of you...
The dresses your wore, and the shoes you wore. I know you did this for me.

I wasn't right.

I want to break up with my gf and take a break. Need to re-assess if this is the correct coarse of action. I can't cause she lives with me, it'll be super awkward. Plus I constantly have someone watching me so I feel like I can't be myself.

>>25527543
I haven't been right...

>>25527166
plus you get all the tail from the slutty girls.

>>25527551
I drink too much now...
I think about you too much now...
Life is not so much now...
I wonder where you are now...

>>25527560
I haven't been right...

>>25527563
The little things I did to show you...
The little things you did for me...
The little things we did for us...

Wasn't right...

>>25527569
I haven't been right...

>>25525321
Get a computer and play steam games, or go to the neet provider thread and provide for neet

>>25527572
I've been drinking too much

I miss you

I piss in the sink.

>>25527591
I picture you when I close my eyes - day or night...
I'm waiting for you to call or test every day or night...

I wished things between us were right..

>>25527604
I haven't been right...

>>25527611
We got it

>>25527611
I drink too much...

I'm happier not posting :)
Hope you don't miss me too much ;3

>>25494819
Comparing make up to video games is weird and stupid. If you want to spend your money on make up and do whatever you wanna do with it, who gives a fuck? Make up is clearly taken seriously because make up artists exist. However, just making yourself look pretty isn't on that level, it's just self-indulgence and that's fine if you enjoy it, but making a comment about it like that is honestly absurd. Are you seeking your desire to make yourself look nice to be viewed as a valid and respectful hobby? It's very unlikely, but drop the insecurity and enjoy it for yourself.
There's a very concerning trend with people that I've noticed. Most aren't okay liking something others dislike, or can't handle others liking something they personally dislike. You don't have to be with, or against, the majority. You don't have to justify your interests if they aren't causing harm. Just stop being such a fucking shallow cunt. And I mean that in a general sense to everybody it applies to.

>>25527619
I drink too much to forget you
I drink too much to remember you
I drink too much because of you

I miss you

>>25527704
How do i forget you?

>>25527709
I can't speak of us to anyone
I can't tell anyone of us
I can't express this to my best friend
I can't tell anyone the way i feel
I have to keep it inside and go on like nothing ever happened.

Two years of us like it never existed

How do I forget you?

>>25527729
I haven't been right...

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God damn you for eating a decade of my life before leaving.

>>25527768
Wasting, whatever

>>25527732
I'd like to tell you that I love you but i can't
I wouldn't be fair
I'd like to tell you that I was just with you for the affair
I'd like to tell you that i... but I can't
It wouldn't be fair

Maybe to you it was just an affair

I miss you so much...

>>25527772
I thought about leaving her for you...
I thought about us together just me and you...
I thought about forgetting everything but you...

I drink too much because of you...

>>25527794
How do i forget you...

>>25527590
You misunderstand

I am not a /neet/

>>25527798
I wish you can call me
I wish you could come see me
I wish you would just touch me

I miss the smell of you

>>25527818
How do i forget you...

>>25494427
Women's constant drain-circling attitude to men, partners, is killing everything.

>>25527824
2 years I spent with you
2 years I spent being in love with you...
1 day you said I was the best you ever had
The one day I will never forget
The one day that you told me

>>25527809
I know that you have money so I'm telling you to get a neet, or get on steam play in your off time from work

>>25527860
I haven't been right