New vents/secrets thread?

Holy fuck 'gel. It's amazing just how much pain your mere presence causes me.

I see you, see you talking and chatting and it's like someone's rammed an icicle into my guts. A very jagged icicle.

And here comes your ghost back around again. Part of me wishes it wouldn't. Another desperately wants you back in my life. And the rest just wants to run away from that place where I see you, just fade away from there and never come back.

I miss you. I love you. And I expect that on some level I'll be singing that two part refrain until I find someone else to fill that you shaped hole in my life.

>>25147492
Dude.

I love you, but you have to move on.

Please

>>25147508
Hey bitch, Chad here. I see that you've got yourself a sad disgusting beta orbiter. Do you wanna fuck and make fun of him w/ me afterwards?

>>25147522
No.
But nice digits.

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>>25147527
thanks bitch, let me know when you need a cumblast deep down in your cunt gulch

Jesus fuckin christ, how do people like this wake up every morning and go "yeah all of this is working out just fine, I'm going to continue living today"

sex addiction destroyed my ambitions and passions

>>25147508
You're not her. If you were you wouldn't be able to say that, certainly not say it and mean it.

And I'll move on. Same as always. Just as soon as I find that next iteration of the women I have loved.

>>25147758
Don't be stupid. You should move on for your own sake so you can be happy rather than rely on someone else for happiness.

>>25147758
Hopping from relationship to relationship or "love" to "love" isn't healthy and you're always going to be unhappy.

>>25147616

This speaks to me.

I've been avoiding my best friend recently because I'm still in love with her even though I know it could never happen and she has a boyfriend

I don't think my girlfriend and I are compatible over the long term, I don't know how to break up with her.

I still love my long distance ex girlfriend. I am married, and staying exceptionally faithful. I can't shake the fantasy of what could have been and sometimes it hurts.

Honestly I am really tempted to commiting assault with a blunt instrument on my older brother.

He has Autism/Schizo and my parents are trying to find him a place to live because he gives my grandma attitude despite her asking multiple times to do a certain chore she cannot do since she is old. He even pulled a knife on her when she asked to take out the trash 5 times. She called the police but he was unfit for jail due to this illness.

Same things like that happened when he was living with me and my mom. One time I chipped one of his teeth when things got out of hand when he was gonna punch my mom for going to a friend's party and because she didn't have money for him to go to a slipknot/Coheed & Cambria concert.

My parents keep making the same damn excuse when I suggest we put him in a psychiatric ward and my mom said some places treat their patients bad and doesn't want him to be abused even though he deserves it for all the emotional abuse he put on my mom and is doing so to my granny. Just want the old lady to live her days in piece with gramps gone but that man-child is still living with her mooching off of her house, food and all.

I'm practically addicted to having women send me pics and cam for me to help me cum, normally just one girl at a time, and I become weirdly attached and devoted to whatever woman is my fancy. It's not even about sex, I have turned down meet-ups, I just want ladies to help me jack off.

I work hard, I do well financially, I'm there for my friends and family, but this one little quirk consumes me so much.

>>25147603
It's been a few years since I was anywhere near what you described; I wake up tense, afraid, angry at myself and my situation, and the fact that I can't seem to drag myself out of it. Feel like I'm broken beyond repair, nothing I do has any value because I have nobody to share it with. I'm not living anymore, and nobody wants to hang out with a zombie. I've tried to re-socialize myself, every attempt a failure, giving myself away for no true return. I'm so god damn alone, I have three people left that I consider friends and I RARELY see them, let alone have any meaningful interaction. Thought I could use chemicals as a social crutch, but in the end it destroyed any chance I had at forging true bonds, and only brought selfish people into my life. I really need to get my insurance straightened out so I can say this shit to a therapist.

I'm engaged but I recently began corresponding with the girl I was with back in 2011 after seeing her post on IG about her depression. My fiancée would kill me if she found out but honestly we've been able to talk about so much that needed to be said and I think we have our closure. She and I can now get on with our relationships.

Spent so much time trying to fuck this one girl I was crazy about. She let me touch her, kiss her, finger her and all that shit, but never let me fuck. I dropped her a few months back and recently she has made a few attempts to contact me. What do?

>>25148169
Lol, is there any connection besides the physical? Is she getting you off with her mouth/hands? I always found it pretty satisfying to finger my ex till she was grabbing the sheets and thrashing around, and she gave good head, only gave up once when my dick wasn't cooperating and her neck was getting sore; she still played along while I cranked it out. There's more to sex than vaginal penetration, hell, I came crazy hard grinding in my girls ass crack (And I got her off too ofc, can't recall if it was before or after).

>>25148192
No she never gave me head or jerked me off or anything. One time she was really drunk and started kissing me and grabbing my dick, that's when i first stopped talking to her. I did eat her out once though.

>>25148203
Sounds like both of you still have some exploring to do. Would you be alright with the situation if she was getting you off, even though no pussy? Also, never answered as to whether or not there's a non-physical element to things. Are you a virgin? That would explain the focus on getting your dick wet.... Is she? There's a lot of factors at play here.

>>25148244
Yes I'm a virgin, I've gotten head before from another girl on tinder. She certainly is nota virgin, and I felt 100% comfortable with her being my first and she knew that. If she was getting me off but not letting me have sex I think I'd still be in this situation. We were very close, I considered her one of my best friends for awhile and she did too. We spent almost the whole summer together, mostly just her and I. It was a good summer before things went to shit.

>>25148254
Do you know the details of her sexual life before you? It's possible she was in an unhealthy/traumatic situation and has hangups over that; my first girlfriend had a less than consensual experience with her prior boyfriend, and it fucked up penetrative sex for her. Fingering was all good, but once I was on top she'd tense up and things would get painful for her. I'd recommend another try at things, be as open with possible with her and hope she's willing to do the same, get comfortable and close to each other, and be happy with what you share.

>>25148276
I believe she has a past of sleeping around, she was fucking other guys when I was trying to pursue her, I was too naive to realize it at the time. Shes been raped but i dont see how that should have affected my situation, she was still sleeping with other people. The last straw is when she started banging a friend of ours she knew for like a month. it ticked me off because i spent so much time on her and she just through herself at someone she barely knew. She also a lot mental issues like BPD, if that plays a factor at all.

>>25148289
Ok, forget anything I said about rekindling things with this girl, she sounds like a bag full of crazy and that's the last thing you want to stick your dick in unless it's an entirely physical situation and you have no emotional attachment to her, cause otherwise you're going to get hurt. Go find a healthy relationship.

>>25148298
Kek I like how that changed your whole opinion. But yeah that's another reason why I left, I told her I don't want her mental/emotional baggage in my life. At this point I don't really have romantic feelings for her, I'd really just like to finish what I started and fuck her. Well see what happens. I'm sure I'll hear from her real soon, she caller me and I answered her the other night. Hung up on her because it was nothing important

>>25148108
I thought I was the only one.

>>25147603
There are people I care about who want me to live, if I stay alive, I can alleviate the suffering of others maybe, there is a chance thst instead of suicide, I become trapped as a conscious vegetable. Also if I stay alive long enough I get kind of used to living.

>>25148339
Unsubstantiated rumors, plus a real violation, I reported you Anon.

>>25148339
Damn that's a lot of salt, and a lot of details, you must really be harboring some resentment towards a person who it sounds like has plenty of problems without you hounding them. IDK what she did to you, but let karma deal with that shit.

>>25147933
In this exact situation anon. Saw her last night. Drinking at her boyfriends house. Told her how I felt. She basically told me that i missed my chance and that she values me more as a friend. Shit hurts man.

I have the strangest fantasy.
I want to find a girl, who is in her late teens who is depressed, is self harming, falling behind in school, has lost all hopes of a nice future who is also preferably short and cute. I want to use my many years of experience in D&S, mentor-ship, teaching and my more than adequate financial resources to help her get out of that situation. Get her grades back up and get into university to become someone she wants to be. It would be a strange combination of father/daughter, teacher/student and lovers relationship. I also already have a girlfriend whom I love dearly and wouldn't want to leave so I would also eventually want to help my little teenager find someone who is good for her and who would make her happy.
And I want her to always be able to come to me for help and to trust me. It's really weird and I can't really explain it well, but it has been driving me nuts for years. I just needed to get it out there.

I pretend to be in love with ugly, autistic, depressed, unhealthy all of the above guys online to give them some hope, encouraging them to get jobs and earn money to see me (but i never let them spend it for that use) Teach them proper hygiene, how to be comfortable around girls etc. But I lie, I tell them I love them, I call them cute and sweet even if theyre not. Im a bad person but it makes me feel good making others feel good, even if im just pretending

>>25148541
Huh, that's vain and altruistic at the same time. I can't even fault you for the lies, cause that's part of the whole "interacting with people" experience that you're grooming them for.

>>25148554
benefiting them benefits me. But I do highly enjoy the company and would just be friends if they didnt catch feelings, but then again I do lead it on. Would you consider what I do wrong? I dont have any bad intentions with what i do and I dont lie about myself or anything, just about them to boost their confidence up.

I'm 27, terrible at talking to people, and still a virgin. I have pretty much given up at trying to lose it. None of my friends know this.

The only joy I get anymore is riding my motorcycle. Haven't been able to find a rush that even compares. Have crashed it once and all I could think about was i want to get back on it once my shit healed. Maybe it's the fact that a soccer mom on her phone in a suv could end it for me before I reach wizard status that keeps me.coming back to it.

>>25148306
Ew make sure shes getting tested regularly. You'll probably still wind up with herpes.

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>>25148339

>>25148619
>Would you consider what I do wrong?
I can argue for and against it; you will inevitably hurt people doing this, but they theoretically come out of the whole situation better (or at least stronger) for it. Another possibility is that they come out more broken than before, develop trust issues. Also I'm not sure it's benefiting you, could have a detriment on your own emotional development and self image in the long run. All in all, probably not a healthy practice.

>>25148104
So fucked... Fuck him. Not cool messing with an old lady

I am currently separated with my wife who want's a divorce. I do not want a divorce and I miss her so much.. she went cold turkey on me. All I can think is that she is spending time with that guy.. sigh.. I miss her so much.

My darkest fantasy is to be ruthlessly cuckolded and denied by a chubby woman who encourages her boyfriends to bully me. It goes as far as her getting knocked up by one of them and naming me the father on the birth certificate to exploit me financially as well.

My girlfriend (25) is actively looking for a high school guy (16-18, which is totally legal where I am) to fuck and she wants to make me watch.

I am oddly turned on by the idea.

I want to be so impulsive. I want to just say "Hey, wanna go on a vacation with me?" even though I don't fucking know you. Let's see each other. Let me kiss you. Let me touch you all over. Let's share music with each other like we always do and tangle our bodies together in bed. Show me what sort of person you really are. Show me what you're hiding.

Stupid thoughts from feeling starved for intimacy and sex. and I just wanna feel something for somebody new. But who knows what you think about me anyway.

>>25149088
That's dangerous Anon, that's how you lose a kidney.

My 'secret' is that I'm desperately lonely and want a girfriend really badly. My problem is that I don't really enjoy sex, and would rather cuddle or hug or just be in proximity to a girl and not really go much further than that.

I've realized no woman wants to be with a guy who doesn't want to bang them daily, so i've just relegated myself to being lonely and single until I die. shit sucks man.

>>25149223
Me too Anon. There are dozens of us, dozens, and each and every once of us is single.

>>25149236
I've lived in my city for a little over 8 years, I don't have any friends or girls to talk to. its horrible being lonely, but just talking to people when i'm out an about is awkward when girls are visibly interested in me and I don't just want to bag them for the night.

>>25149250
That does sucks man, sorry. Making friends is hard.

>>25148751
There was even an incident where she yelled at him for not cleaning his dirty dishes and gripped her arm so tight, she thought it would break. I find plenty of chances to try and hurt him to but can't do that and cause trouble for the family. I even tell my mom he shouldn't even come to our house anymore and STILL pulls the "He's my son" excuse despite all the times he tried to physically hurt her. That statement is true, but I have long considered that he ain't family to me anymore. Worst part is I'm forced to tolerate his presence and not act like a dick whenever I am at granny's or when he is at our home. Especially when they pull the other excuse on me that he dosent have friends anymore and that I'm one of the only people he can talk to. Seriously... He talks up a storm and makes me wanna puncture my eardrums. Basically I'm in my own personal hell.

>>25148541
Can you do that for me please?

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I really want to punch overweight women of color in the face.

>>25149474
Film it so you have firm evidence and call police. He deserves jail or hospital. Your family will thank you for doing what they couldnt. They may not be thankful right away, but we all know youd be doing the right thing.

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I'm doing okay. I have a STEM degree nearly in pocket, a job that pays my bills and a little more, and I'm about to start looking for a better one, I do a sport, and I have a partner.

But all I really want in life is to be like those guys from the 70s and 80s, fighting rebels and commies in the third world for cash, because I'm a dirty adrenaline junkie who wants to do more than live behind a desk.

>>25147999
What is she like and what are you like? You should probably just end it sooner rather wait. Be honest with her.

I can't masturbate without my brother being home. We were raised apart and he's always been kind of my hero, so I was always infatuated with him. I moved in with him recently, which rekindled a deep attraction to him. The danger of him walking in, and thinking about scenarios involving him, is the only thing that excites me now.

>>25147469
>tell gf about kinks
>claims shes into it
>every single time its brought up she gets weird
>fine whatever she was sheltered growing up, unlike me who found the internet far too young
>bring up some other kink one day, her tune changes entirely, suddenly more animated and interested
>tfw realizing she was probably lying just to keep me from being upset
>tfw i feel like im expected to never indulge in my kinks now

Thats the venting, now for the confessions
>the situation has made me irrationally upset and frustrated, as stated before it feels like im not really going to get to do what i want sexually
>install and uninstall kik with a burner account several times a day hoping to find someone on /soc/ i'll never have to meet or even see their face just so i can get off

its an abstract feel. Part of me thinks it has something to do with wanting to experience the feeling that someone is willing to get weird for me. It doesnt sound like much but so many instances of sudden silence or changing the subject on the part of my gf has made me feel even weirder and less acceptable, even though the stuff im into isnt that bad by a lot of people's definition.

>>25150530
Aww, what's your kink, m8?
It's hard to find people who are into exactly what you are sometimes, sometimes the best hope is to find someone just as much of a freak as you are, so you can indulge each other.

>crossdress since young
>into late teens get better at makeup, buy breast forms, etc
>start considering hooking up with guys, feminization 'services' like Tia Tizzianni (actually contacted her and was setting up a meeting)

Then, shortly after

>get amazing gf going to same uni
>repress old urges
>start lifting weights/lean bulk to make CDing well effectively impossible anymore
>relationship still going incredibly well, love this girl, but feel weird about my past

Fuck.

>>25148541
Yeah thats fucked playing god with someome

>>25150546
omorashi (but not the anime shit, just real life stuff)

i see it come up often on this site so i know its fairly common. Also i forgot to mention ive been with my gf for nearly 4 years, and in every other way shes a great partner. I understand this is a super small issue in the greater scope of things, but the thought of my long term partner being uneasy with something that it took a lot of courage to tell her just rubs me the wrong way. Sometimes i think the way i feel has nothing to do with the kink itself, and more just a lingering, ambiguous feeling of rejection.

>>25150565
The non-moonspeak way to say that is just pissplay, right?
That's not exactly something that a lot of people are eager to do. Chan-wise, it's kinda mild, but remember, outside of chans people are going to look at it as much more extreme. What was the kink she really liked?

>>25150565
You want to piss on your girl dude lol

>>25148488
You should seriously do that. A lot of girls need that sort of thing desu. Especially from abusive homes.

>>25149223
That's a lie because I don't crave sex at all and I'm female. I'd fucking love a dude who didn't have a sex drive or want sex at all, that would be the best.

> When I walk behind someone with a male dog in the streets, I deliberately match their speed and watch the dogs balls jiggle while it walks.

>>25148541
I've always had a feeling some people are just taking around me and shit like this reaffirms it. As much as you think you're helping them, there's also a degree of harm with every action. One day, someone might catch onto this and they may not take it well in spite of good intentions.

If you're doing it just to feel good, maybe actually try being honest instead of feeding others lies.

>>25150684
Would you agree though that many (probably over 95%) of women have sex drives and regularly have sex? We're looking for something specific and is very hard to find.

Every time I've brought up my low sex drive to a partner, they pretty much ended the relationship quickly.

I have been in this same situation before, and everyday I lose hope, but I don't stop cause I still feel the same and that's just the kind of guy I am.

>>25150673
Are you one such girl? Besides the whole not wanting sex part...

>>25150557
dont worry about it, dude, maybe you were just experimenting or it was just a phase

makes you a more open-minded person i'm sure

>>25148108
>practically
not judging you but that sounds like textbook addiction, maybe try an "s-group"

>>25150673
Trust me if I found someone like that I would. In a heartbeat. I know how much that type of relationship can do for someone who is in a terrible spot in life. I wouldn't do it just for the sex or just to fulfill some strange fantasy of mine. I would do it because I would get to help someone who is really in need. That's a major part of the reason it's so appealing to me.

I've been chatting with an older woman in her 40s, I'm 27 and we are pretty horny for one another but she lives like 3 hours by plane + quite a distance by car and I'm too much of a coward/lazy ass to make that travel only for a weekend of potential fucking and cuddling. I'm too paranoid and every time I think I'll go to her and she'll just say fuck that and ignore me making me waste hundreds of dollars in travel fees, time and emotional damage.

>>25150714
Yeah, I do agree, but honestly? So do men. God knows how many men I've gone through but because I wasn't sexual they went nuts. Everyone wants sex, but I feel you might be better able to deal with it with woman because you can always use toys on them and there are some asexual ones out there.
>>25150740
I used to be. Came from a really abusive home and was depressed and unmotivated and though I was going to die there due to massive social anxiety and just crippling mental issues (not so much personality dysfunction, my personality was fine, but I couldn't go outside or talk to strangers without cringing and feeling like I was the worst). Now I have a boyfriend. My situation isn't the greatest, but it's better. I'd be happy to talk to you if you had any contact.

>>25150740
>>25151179
It's actually quite funny because I used to really want such a thing and in fact craved/needed it, but after going through so many people I realized a lot of kinky people are just pervs (not just kinky, but actually perverted people) and either wanted to take advantage of me or if I refused sex or even a relationship then all of a sudden they didn't care, or even if I simply messaged them too much. Was very disappointing. I can only imagine the good such a relationship would do.

>>25151212
I'm on a dating site, and the only ones that are "asexual" are less than pretty.

SoCal is full of horny people I guess.

>>25151222
My kik is johnnydangerouslee, I'd like to talk more if you want

>>25151230
..... so you're basing it off of attractiveness when you don't even care for sexuality? I find that silly.... I don't know, I've never understood how people could care about attractiveness. As long as you take care of yourself hygienically and aren't obese to the point of being unable to walk, I never found looks to matter much.
Plus there;s the possibility of like some guys for your standards to be unrealistically high, but I don't know you or your tastes, so oh well.

>>25151254
Physical beauty and sexual arousal are 2 different things. If I'm going to be with someone, I would like to beam with pride knowing just how beautiful and pretty she is. I'd like to be with someone i'm physically attracted to, that doesn't mean my sex drive has to be high.

>>25151278
I can see where you're coming from, but that still confuses me personally. I've always found it silly how people base anything off of looks.... what you look like is something you're born with, who you are is most important. I'm glad I don't have to deal with basing my choices off of what people look like.

>>25147469
I said i gave up on you
Yours truly
That boy you once knew

But when its silent and there are only these ghosts that spread their gloomy shadows over me im doupting my decision. Im swaying untill i dont feel my feet on the ground anymore and i let those thougts or should i say memories stap me once agen for a while before i feel satisfied enough to tell myself this is how it is and this is the best way it can ever be.

You said im to you like that feeling after diving too deep and feeling the urge to get breath in your lungs. First comes the feeling of panic then you try with all your muscles to get to the surface as fast as you can and when your head pops up from the water and you get that first big deep breath in is the feeling you said is me. And all i could do was to call you being over dramatic and silly.
I still remember your lips playfully pouting at me and making me melt from inside i just couldnt tell you how much you meant to me not even when you laughed and run towards me placing your warm hands around my lower back and letting you face press down my chest. I was afraid that you would feel it from my beating heart, that the only reason it was beating was to feel that body as close to mine it was at that moment. I had to push you away and i kept doing it even i saw it hurt you Nicole. I knew i was hurting you all those nights i came home after days being drunk out of my head. I knew i killed a little piece of you everytime you

>>25151322
found out me in bed with someone else, but im not the man you thougt i was. Im not brave nor strong, im not one who carries their responsibilities of hes actions. You saw me as a perfection wich i was not. You told me you dont care even i would be homeless or criminal. I wish i would of been those things rather than a coward wich i am Nicole. I pushed you away not to protect you from myself haha that wouldnt matter to me, im not that noble. I pushed you away because i was scared you steal my existence. That you would make me hurt more than anyone could ever do. I thougt id save myself if id let you down and give up but...here i am and you still took all that i had and all that i am. I didnt even save myself.
am and you still took all that i had and all that i am. I didnt even save myself.

>>25151222
If she would feel like I am trying to take advantage of her, I've failed. The whole idea hinges on the fact that she would want me to be like a father figure, an ally, a protector, a life guide and a lover.
Because I want to make her better not give her a whole new set of trust and anxiety issues.

I'm traveling rn and I'm going to cheat on my bf in the hotel.

>>25151342
with who? what are you gonna do with him?

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Considering breaking up with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years. I care about her but I want to get my dick between some big ole titties before it's too late (I'm 27). We live together and our lease is up in a few months, but I'm putting off doing it until after he birthday if at all. Can't make up my mind if I'm under appreciating having someone that you know genuinely loves you even though there are a handful of quirks that I question being able to live with forever. Big ole fuckin titties are tempting me with major thirst tho.

>>25151319
>I'm glad I don't have to deal with basing my choices off of what people look like.
I'm detecting a bit of smugness. And I don't base my choices based on what people look like; i'm not looking for a super model, but I don't want to date a bridge troll either.

>>25151469
Well, you'd be wrong. If doing what you do makes you happy, it's not like I'd think you're inferior for it. I'm just genuinely happy I don't have to deal with that baggage honestly. It would make dating that much harder for me personally. Nothing wrong with having your own standards, if anything I prefer it because it helps in the sense that I also would want a partner who feels somewhat similar to me. It's just a matter of preference.

>>25147469
I post contact info in threads yet I feel so worthless than I never meet anyone. Also I'm afraid to meet anyone. I hate how I look, I'm afraid of showing my face to others, and I sometimes just wish I would meet with someone and they would kill me.

I miss my gf of year that I broke up with two weeks ago :( She was great but she has this OCD/intense anxiety problem that drove me away. Am I a bad person ?

While I have gf, I've seriously been contemplating having sex with one of her good friends. The friend sends me very naughty pics and seems to have no interest in telling my gf.

I'm thinking I will fuck her. Just because.

I'm also thinking about buying a slave girl from India. Really.

>>25151458
Big Ol Titties are ephemeral and can wilt and become saggy, don't throw away a great person relationship that genuinely enhances your life for a brief pleasure.

>>25151342
Are you in the same hotel as me? I'll help.

>>25147603

40 on thursday. Rarely in contact with people, and suffer from mental health issues - I've been this way since the age of 25 when I was kind of tipped over the edge and finally had the break from reality that I think a few people knew was coming.

I don't go out. I have a phone that doesn't ring except to tell me when my prescriptions are being delivered, or the library is leaving books for me to borrow. Most days, I wake up and ask "is today going to be the day?" - Honestly, I;ve tried ending my life a couple of times, and am part of a lobby group in the UK that is arguing that people with mental health issues should be rendered assisted termination.

But...Here I am, 40 years old, and I think the answer is that I've just turned off the light. Nothing really excites me any more, I have nothing to look forward to - I'm just waiting because I don't want to go out feeling unnecessary pain.

I've been contemplating suicide over the last two weeks.... The feeling is slowly getting stronger by the day.... Except I'm afraid of death, or at least the thought of sudden nothingness...

I'm done!

Why the fuck did I not go to work for a month and just shut myself away? I fucked up all my plans I fucked up a lot of my plans for life and made myself feel like absolute shit. I'msuch a fucking waste at times.

>>25152272
You want change, not to die. Find something to focus up and wake yourself up even if this are absolute shit and push yourself a bit to make that change happen.

>>25152374
I'm trying to fight this with all I have... some days it works and some days it doesn't.

>>25152389
I know how it feels all to well man, it's something you have to bear with though and just grit your teeth and keep going. It's a fucking hellish nightmare, but you can always succeed in the end.

>>25152467
Thank you for just talking to me.

God John I still really want to fuck your brains out

Nothing ever stopped my father and sibling from hitting me. Which due to the lack of love, I'm riddled with self-esteem issues and being bipolar means even the self-esteem issues change erratically.

The only man I've been with dumped me because I was too depressed for him although I did everything I could to love him. Cooked for him, played games with him, pretended I gave a shit about some of his obscure interests and I even had sex with him although I was going through a rough patch in my head.

I just need someone to cuddle with so I can forget about all the torment I had to deal with in the past

Dear R:

I was put into a stupid position when your dad died after we were dating for a few months. I can't believe I put up with almost a year of not having sex after that because I was too much of a faggy nice guy to just dump you and I believed you when you told me you still loved me and just needed to get to a better place before we started doing it again. And then you went and cheated on me with a mouthbreathing heroin addict. I honestly get a lot of pleasure out of watching your life go down the toilet after you hop from one shitty boyfriend to another.

Have fun sucking dicks in hell.

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Dear T

We were never even a thing. But hearing you were with someone else made me angrier than I've been in years. I don't even think you were aware of how I felt about you. Part of that is my fault. If not all of it. Sometimes I think you didn't actually have any interest in me. You just liked the attention. Because you sure as shit dropped my ass as soon as someone else became available. I can't blame you. We would have been a long shot at best. I think about you more than I should. I'm sure that will fade. Maybe in another life.

the other T

>>25152644
Cuddling is the best ever

Used to be a drug dealer.

Like to fuck married/taken women without a condom.

I'm sorry I'm so fucked up. You're too good for me and I keep doing this. My insecurities. My depression. You deal with it all like it's okay but I feel like this is the last time and I get it. Fuck I really like you. I like you so much that I don't want you to go but I feel like I'm wasting your time. I'm so sorry.

So, I'm in my late 30's, and married.

I have a daughter, kind of. Long story, but I'm not her biological father, I was with her mother for 10 years before we broke up and I met my wife.

I still support my daughter in every way that I can. My ex and I broke up when my daughter was 12. Her mother didn't let me see her for about 5 years.

My wife has a lot of health problems that prevent almost any kind of sex. These began after we were married. I still love my wife, and she tries, but a half a handjob once every 3 months isn't cutting it.

Now, my daughter is 20. We don't talk very often, but she reminds me physically of her mother (smoking hot). Her personality is 100000% better than her mother's.

I find myself sexually attracted to my daughter. I know she doesn't feel the same. But I want to be with her. And it's more than a sexual attraction to be honest.

So, I find myself going online every once in awhile to try to find younger women that remind me of my daughter. I sext with them and whatnot.

Now, I'm to the point where I want to actually meet up with someone her age, maybe even one of her friends from high school, and just start having sex again.

I recently started driving Uber and Lyft, and I'm wondering if I can find someone that way.

>>25153553
You missed your chance when she was 12

Just quickly. I'm starting to get off just being more positive and standing tall. I can see it is pissing alot of people off. And the fact I'm in your head causing all these negative and angry thoughts just from looking at me. Make me think if I can control a mass that hates my guts. Imagine what scale of a mass I can control if they all loved me. So yeah. Things are good and hopefully they will be even better when they all shoot themselves in the foot.

>>25151041
Thanks. I'm still just ever so slightly drawn to it, however, which is mildly irritating. She actually wanted me to shave my legs (long story) so I have to feign ignorance about how to do it when I do.

we dont touch each other anymore, we just walk through each other. i just feel like you make it all my fault and the fire has been slowly snuffed by your clasped hands.

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I have sex at least once a week with a wife of a cuck couple. It's been ongoing for the past 3 years.
Meanwhile, every girl I've ever asked out as rejected me.
The hell man.

I fucked someone I shouldn't have.
I have a crush on someone else I shouldn't have.
Am I a bad person?

I've been talking to this guy online for 12 years but never met him. We "dated" online as teenagers but I was in 2 long term real life relationships at the same time. He found out and sent me voice clips of him crying over it.
I removed contact completely for a whole year but he managed to get my email address and we started talking again.
He tells me he loves me and wants me to be happy no matter what. He's still a virgin & really ugly and lives with his parents (he used fake photos for years until I eventually caught him out) has no job and has no friends.

I don't know why I still talk to him. I guess I just like the attention.

>>25156028
12 years? Woah

Plenty other guys willing to give you the attention you're looking for..

I know I'm not a catch or anything, but really ? Gross? 9 years of many many rejections and you say that " dating would be gross? I'm actually fucking done with women. You all say I'm funny and " would be lucky to have someone like me". Every single one. But no I'm fucking fine. Y'all complain about how you can't find a good guy and I'll just focus on work like I have been. Fucking women.

>>25156028
You actually more pathetic for leading him on. Yes he is pitiful but you are just straight up ruthless.

>>25156188
Sounds like someone doesn't like being the little dog in the girls handbags anymore.

I lost count of all the girls I said no this last year.

And I'm begginig to think that I did it for the wrong reasons, but I always knew that i wouldn't be able to help myself, so I trusted in someone.

>>25156243
Yeah, I'm beta as fuck. I'm just gonna let sluts be sluts and move up at work.

>>25156266
Ive lways told myself if i was born with a microdick id just put all my effort into becoming rich. Good call on your part.

I dont really need to vent or anyhthing but i guess it is a secret. Im a male and sourtve bi though id never date another guy. Ive only had sex with one guy a few times and it was really hot. Last time we had sex was a few days ago and i made him wear a condom and he did but then somewhere along the line he took it off without telling me and now im freaked out.. I need to get tested.
This guy is kinda promisuous so please pray for me. I know HIV doesnt show up sometimes for 6 months so even if it does come back negative im still going to be kinda nervous.

I'm pretty ashamed of my crying fetish. No guy would want me after hearing about it, which I can understand as it's pretty unsettling to many people.

I'm 21 and had sex with a 15 year old. Committed statutory rape and was even caught but dodged a nuclear bomb when the people that found out decided to kick me out of where it happened and never reported me for it.

>>25156597
Honestly its so stupid how that isnt legal. I understand 15 is "young" and everything but if its consensual.. like that is the natural time women are most ripe to be impregnated. Ive never dated anything that much younger than me, but its not like a 15 year old is completely stupid. Yea theyre teens who might not know whats best for them but some are a lot more mature than most at that age Females mature much quicker than men.

>>25156584
Are you a girl? I love it when girls cry, especially during sex.

>>25156627
I agree. It was consensual. She's actually the one that planned it and planned the location but because she's 15, the law would call that "rape" and would get me locked up for at least 20 years. I'm not a rapist or a pedophile. She's one of those stereotypical white girls that are 15 but looks 19. Stereotypical Jailbait so it didn't even feel wrong. She was my size too which is crazy. Hate the laws of this country.

>>25156670
you definitely dodged a bullet anon. I wish i had the balls to fuck a 15 year old. Sadly i dont. Its legal to have sex with a 16 year old in my state but my job prohibits it.

>>25156689
I was ready to get arrested too. I had the "Fuck Life" Mentality for a few days until I found out that everyone that knew about it tossed it away and others were defending me. I'm not a creep so I won't describe in detail how it was, but it was cash. 16 is the legal age for many states now, including mine

>>25156670
Im also not a pedo or anything but the fact that its illegal angers me and just makes me want to rebel. I wouldnt go out searching for a younger person.. but im just saying if the opportunity showed itself, its annoying how it would be illegal to go through with it.

>>25149223
My girlfriend was raped so she hates sex. I love sex. So I cheat on her. But we cuddle and play Xbox all the time.

>>25156703
I knew someone who identified as "asexual." Im pretty sure she was raped but anyways. she never wanted to have sex with her boyfriend and was so surprised at how he could do such a thing as to break up with her. I told her she shouldnt have *expecte anything less than that. I think if you want to sustain relationship (especially into marriage) you have an obligation to have sex with them (regardless of your sex/gender) if they want to have sex. Its no different than to be obligated to help with the dishes or tend to your crying baby or promote happiness in the relationship. It sucks she was raped, but any ordinary relationship couldnt last forever with that big of a different opinion on sex. Shes obligated to make an effort to be comftorable with you and sex IF she wants the relationship to last.

>>25148975
sigh

>>25156714
We work on it slowly. Every now and then we try casual foreplay stuff and if she gets uncomfortable she tells me. She wants to get better.

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I've been taking xanax for like a month now cause i realised it helped me go to sleep. On Saturday i took 8mg and chugged a 1L bottle of smirnoff. I guess i was planning on ending it, i dont really remember what happened but my two cousins came over and called an ambulance. They've been constantly checking on me over the last couple of days and I feel like i honestly dont deserve how nice theyve been. I've been in my room for the past 4 years, never making any effort to check on anyone or anything, a part of me feels like a burden because I am, but a part of me is happy that someone actually cares. I asked them what happened yesterday and they told me that i messaged a group they were in just rambling about random shit and they knew something was up. I dunno, i still feel like a retard cause thats exactly what i was, i dont know how to thank them properly, and its not like I can say "im here for you as well" because i offer nothing. Im just a 20 year old loser

>>25156774
Pay them back by fixing yourself ...

>>25156703
So weird, every girl who told me they were raped were extra easy. Is slutty and whorish a bad term? I don't mean it negatively but were usually quick to have sex with men, like within hours of meeting them.

>>25156790
Most girls who say they were raped werent actually raped. I was "raped" to some peoples standards but i would never say i was RAPED. A lot of girls say it for attention. Ill probably get a lot of hate on here for it but its true whether they like it or not.

Ill tell you my story if you want but if you dont care im not gonna waste my time sharing it.

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>>25156811
share man

>>25156790
Everyone copes differently.

>>25156811
I always like stories if they're believable and well written. But I know what you mean. There are a lot of girls now who simply made poor, regrettable choices and absolve themselves from responsibility by painting themselves as a victim of some sort.

I guess my Vent is along that same vein; if you fuck up or do something shameful, own it. Don't pretend you're innocent and someone else did that bad thing to you. If you got shitfaced at a party and started gobbling dicks, don't make it out to be anyones fault but your own.

I'm pretty much an asshat with a shitty personality, its why I can't make or keep friends. Its not me being misunderstood or a special snowflake, I'm just a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling sprinkled with shitflakes. I know why people don't want to hang out with me.

>>25156824
I was hooking up with this guy for a few weeks but didnt have sex yet. I wasnt really ready for it completely. I think a lot of time in those cases youre just not gonna have sex out of fear for what you dont know.

Anyways, he comes back drunk one night and were laying next to eachother hoking up and its getting intense. I told him i didnt want to have sex but at this point im on my stomach and hes behind me with his cock on my cheeks kinda laying on my back and kissing me from behind.

Hes dry humping me and starts eating me out. A short time after he gets back up on my back and inserted his cock. I remembered how violated i felt but i also thought that its not much different from when your friends "kidnap" you and force you to go to a club or go drinking when youre not feeling it that night.

Sure i was "raped" but its not like he forced me on the bed and forced himself into me.. i did everything else except that. Sex (in our day and age) is looked as an an activity. I consented up to that point and i didnt fight back when he went beyond it. If i had fought back and told him to get off me than it wouldve been bad. Most these girls who said they were "raped" most likely consented up to that point but didnt verbally tell them to get off them or physically try to leave. Fuck those pussy ass soft bitches. Go to therapy if youre that weak minded.

>>25156836
theres nothing wrong with what you're sayingg. you don't have to keep saiyng " im an assohle ahha"

>>25156836
I posted it here: >>25156849
I didnt make it too detailed but ya get the point ;)
I get what youre saying man and i can agree with you

>>25156849
ya unfortunately you can't voice your opinion when it comes to these topics. I think that theres been a definition change when it comes to rape recently. Remember like a year ago or some shit my cousin told me that catcalling is rape, baka

>>25156849
>"i was raped but not really heehee"
>writes several paragraphs about it on 4chan
>"those pussy ass soft bitches need therapy"

Projection: The Post

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im back to drinking after 4 years sober

>>25156870
I dont understand what point youre trying to make. My point is that most of the girls who say theyve been raped would agree that i was raped. I dont consider what happened to me as rape hence the quotation marks.. The definition of rape has change dramatically the past few years as >>25156869
pointed out.

>>25156877
You're both fucking morons and should kill yourselves together.

>>25156882
Good counter-argument. You probably think i think real rape isnt bad nor should be punishable. Thats not true. I just think the term rape is thrown around more than it should be. It also undermines people who have actually been forcibly raped. I think its more of a service to those people than whatever you have in mind.

>>25156894
No I literally just think you're a fucking moron. I wish someone would rape you and then dismember you and eat your organs.

>>25156917
Are you going to tell me why you think im a moron or just spew ad hominem arguments at me?

>>25156535
>>25156849
/soc/ has IDs you fucking mongoloid

Hope you get the full blown AIDS diagnosis soon! But actually the window period is a lot longer than 6 months.

>>25156830
This.
>>25156811
We were still in our relationship when it happened. The dude forced her clothes off and forcibly stuck it in. She screamed for him to stop but he kept insisting that "you know you want it." We found out later that the dude was a registered sex offender. It was very real. She begged me to pick her up, and when she got in the car her eyes were swelled with tears and she screamed telling me to "get me the fuck out of here!" She sobbed and hyperventilated for hours after.

>>25156873
Currently in recovery anon. I feel for you.

>>25156943
I wasnt saying that your girl wasnt raped haha. That coment wasnt directed to you, but another anon. Im sorry your gf went through that so i understand why she feels the way she does with sex around you. I hope she has a speedy recovery.

>>25156957
>ignores the fact that he admits he is a guy and then tries to roleplay as a girl who has been raped

>>25156949
thank you

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>>25156939
Good for you. I wasnt trying to hide anything and i know they have IDs. Jesus you sjw are brutal, wishing the very thing you guys fight against to the people you dont like. So much contradiction.

The picture is to trigger you. I dont actually believe it.

>>25156961
I never pretended i was a girl lol now youre just making things up to use against me to find any way necessary to discredit me, very typical

>>25156966
Tl;dr

>>25156975
You can't speak on womens issues. You're nothing but a disgusting faggot. Fuck off back to /lgbt/ or tumblr.
Remember, magic johnson beat aids. Maybe you can too

>>25156980
I actually hate the LGBT community and Tumblr is made of a bunch of self-loathing indiividuals who blame their lack of motivation on society oppressing them -- who also need to dye their hair every 3 days otherwise they go through an existential crisis.

Lemme guess, i cant speak on womens issues because im not a female yada yada yada.. when have i spoken on womens issues in this thread? Btw how can feminists consider themselves fighting for equality of all genders? If i cant speak on womens issues than how can they speak on mens issues? If white feminists fight alongisde racism in America, why should they be allowed to? After all they arent a minority.. funny how youre telling me to go back to tumblr when youre giving the same rhetoric they shout from over there.

>>25156991
Go fuck this guy in the ass >>25149995 so you both die of aids and I never have to see your posts here again

>>25157020

I disagree with that thread. This conversation is pointless to continue so im withdrawing myself from it since i have better things do it. In the name of feminism i hope you get triggered over the course of your day tomorrow, continue feeling oppressed because its the only way youll feel solice in this world, and blame all your insecurities and failures on cosmos injustice.

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I once knew a woman that went by the name of Amanda, or manderz. She tried to learn german and get through constant pain. Sadly I never left without a proper apology.

>>25156522
Average dick, just bad at women

>>25156714
wow, you are autistic on another level.
I mean, I do believe differing opinions on sex can cause issues, and should be dealt with accordingly (like finding a partner who's okay with it) but you can't say you're okay with it and just cheat.
Also to tell her she shouldn't expect any less than that makes you an asshole.
Just.... I don't know about people like you. I would honestly try to explain myself but if you're that much of a dumb shit to have this opinion you're honestly why some women hate sex and are just a crappy inconsiderate person.
But I would agree if she went in the relationship knowing the other person considered sex a need and was very sexual and didn't tell them up front not to expect it that's not cool either.

>>25156849
>>25156870
Fucking thisssssssssssssssss.
Jesus christ this. I'm sorry you don't look bad ass nor hard by saying shit like you do and claiming a lot of women who say they were raped weren't... I do agree, if you don't say no, then that can create confusion that's kind of on you, but what about cases where they make it clear they don't want to have sex and they do it anyways? That's rape because they didn't consider how you felt about it. Plus if you keep saying no? Yeah, sorry, that's rape.
I hate when women think that because they have such opinions and call other women shitty things due to their own retardation it makes them "cool".

ITT: Autism

get a grip on yourselves, jesus fuck.

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There was a faces-of-4chan thread on /b/ a few years ago which I joined. Got talking to this chick who was a 7.5. She was cool, seemed real. Then out of the blue she just said "CONTACT INFO NOW". I wasn't prepared and couldn't send any anonymous contact info like a kik or even an email, so I started making one. As soon as I made it the thread 404'd.

Never joined another rate me / faces of / assumption thread from then on, because I feel like that was one and only chance. I know I'm being a fag but no one has ever (for the want of a better word) "lost it" for my info before so it feels like it'll be 100 years before the next one.

>>25157773
That wasnt a woman. It was some faggot who likes taking dick up his ass. Did you even read the thread? Plus he has AIDS

>>25151342
Coward. Just dump him, you're wasting everyone's time with your bullshit.

Why... Fucking Why...

Why so many people who are close with friends dead or dying lately?

3 of them so far over the past 3 days

My friends mom passing on Sunday
Then this girl I like's "co-worker" being in rough shape after being hit by a car. May not make it
And then a family friend being admitted to Sloan Kettering for breast cancer

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I post about being a Stacy on another board because someone was watching my posts there for a while to reach out to me but I'm actually in a relationship with someone and I'm getting a bike soon after working very hard. I'm happy but the relationship is sexless due to my kinks.

Gore, drinking piss, femdom to a sissy, dressing my muscular partner up as a female and parading him around, pegging, training his ass with butt plugs, pegging, being creampied by two cocks at once in my pussy, being the femdom to a cuckold.

My tastes have changed a lot and so far I've swerved on guys who want to indulge me just so I could focus on getting my bike. I'm hoping it'll jolt me back to reality somehow.......

Anyway..I'm emailing videos and photos of my ex doing drugs to his uni come Monday. Fuck you, seriously, asshole. 2 years of torture await you. Pic unrelated

>>25160478
Because living is death, and that's all their is to it.

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I think all honesty. I have to just put my bullshit to rest and focus on your recovery. I'm going out tomorrow to get supplies in the morning. Then preparing to enter your room while you are in hospital. I feel like utter shit for not catching it sooner. But at least you are alive and breathing and that is all I fucking care about. I will put in so much effort to help you not matter what. Only because I know what you are going through and I know I can help at least. But getting supplies, cleaning the room at least. look after the cat. And when you come home apologize for trying to deal with my issues and at least. when you are bed bound. I will check up on you by text and knock on your door twice a day 3 times if needed to see you are okay. I have the complete seasons of community as well. That saved my life and I know it will save yours. I do not give a fuck either if you right a list of what you need and I will do everything I can and even put in my own money to get it for you. I'am sorry from the bottom of my fucking heart for what has happened. But like I said. You are alive and that is all I give a fucking shit about. I wanted a team effort. And has a team member I will step the living fuck up and put in all my effort. I do not care. This has happened out of the blue twice. THERE WILL NOT BE A THIRD. Do you fucking hear me. I had to relive the sound of that gunshot going through my head over and over again when my best friend took his life in front of me. A chruch goers son who I got to know over these last 3 years took his life on Easter Sunday. NO ONE ELSE IS FUCKING DYING I DO NOT FUCKING CARE. I had to be selfish to survive to this point. Now I'am going to be selfless as fuck. I will not stop until you can smile again do you understand me. You will get through this you are strong. Get Better.
Concerned Housemate. <3

>>25160737
>Anyway..I'm emailing videos and photos of my ex doing drugs to his uni come Monday.
What did he do to you?

Im thoroughly addicted to cheating and drugs. Especially when mixed. And im about to do a year in jail in detroit over the shit right after my babies born. Am m btw.

I realize now you only dated me to distract yourself from your own depression. Now you no longer pay attention to me because I have served my purpose. I feel like an idiot for falling in love with you. Just replace me already.

>>25161165
Everyone is using their partners to distract themselves from the crushing loneliness and suffering that is being alive.... Grow up

I'm miserable, and I'm losing the willingness to care about spending time with other people. I struggle to operate in social situations when I used to flourish and I don't know why. I dated a girl for a long time and I'm pretty sure she was my only chance at a lasting relationship. I'm probably not gonna check up on this so sorry if I don't answer questions I guess.

>>25161182
That's a very self-centered mindset.

I genuinely am uninterested in a lot of people and relationships. I feel like my time's better spent on other things that I enjoy rather than people. Besides my immediate family and like 3 friends, I don't really care to be around anyone else. It's kind of bothering me, because I feel like I should grow with other people I know, but I just don't want to. Should I feel bad?

>>25161112
Abused me. Raped me. And more.

>>25160737
You sound beautiful fucked up.

What bike are you getting?

>>25147469
I've been married twice and both times I thought it would be forever.

Now any time I even start to have feelings for someone, I mention how that's happened and every girl is immediately turned off.

It fucking sucks.

I told you last night I'd do it.

You were busy talking about yourself though, like all the others.

No one can hear me

>>25150530
I know you prolly won't see this anon, but I'm in the same situation with my wife... with their burner/hidden kik and all

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>>25161718
2016 kawasaki ninja 300 krt

Random side vent:
>Can't decide if I want ABS or not. The paint job for the model with ABS looks nice (bright green on black) but I'm a first time rider and have heard some bad stories in regards to ABS. The model without would be red on black which is also sexy.
>I'm going to paint it purple and pink though.....
>They look like kitty cats. Super cute.

>>25161885
Details?
Does it bother you?
If you could change it, would you?

>>25161999
If you're painting it purple/pink anyway then what does the original paint job matter?

That seems like a decent bike for a first time rider. How much have you ridden before?

Also, can we get an update when you fuck your boyfriend's life up?

>>25162121
The paint job doesn't make a difference but effects resale apparently.

Never road one before other than being a passenger on a CBR and another Kawasaki.

Yeah, I'll update you. Thanks for responding

>>25162135
Ah, girls riding bikes are hot! And so much better when they're riding and not just on the back behind their boyfriend.

>>25161338
No, that's the reality. That is the no-sugar-coating truth. Learn to understand it and accept it and you won't be such a pissy miserbale little sniveling twat

>>25162154
I agree with you there, friend haha

>>25162176
Do you have kik?

I have to get to work, but would like to talk more. About the bike and everything else :)

>>25162239
Drip yours and I'll message you ))))

>>25162239
>>25162941
Drop*** haha

>>25162946
I'm hg285

I'm obsessed with people who should not be obsessed over. O want to become them, I want to look like them and I want their lives. People would find me sick if they knew how much I loved and based my image off these people but in doing so it creates my own morbid little secret that fuels the mundaneness of my life. I want people to wonder and worry about me. I'm fast becoming some kind of weirdness and I'm going to die alone. But if I can live through this facade then I can at least die happy.

I'm addicted to the thought of being treated like a slut and having dick on my mouth 24/7, so i keep texting older men and acting like a slut but im always afraid to get someone home. I always chicken out, idk how to overcome this.
I'm a young m btw

Been wanting to get with a friend of mine for years now but the 2 year age gap has always kinda kept me away/hesitant cus feeling started when I was 16 and I'm too late, I think she's sexy, funny, awesome and we are still great friends and I'm sure as fuck she caught me staring at her and her body a couple times now. I've tried to move on and I really am in love with my current gf but I can't stop thinking about her sometimes. I think it's cus I wanted her so bad and never got her but oh well, still want her but don't want to lose what I have with my current gf.

>>25156584
Crying fetish? As in you like crying during sex?
I personally love that. Especially with some roleplay / s&m involved.

>>25163337
Well it all depends on the society you live in. But just find a competent Dom who can help you get over your mental barriers.
If you live in northern Europe I can help.

>>25151665
I won't kill you, but I am also ugly if you want to talk, what social media do you use?

>>25151706
Don't fuck the friend, it gets messy.

>>25148627
I'm 28 and I was a virgin until Christmas last year, I had given up but I found the girl of my dreams and now I've never been happier. Don't give up on it

>>25161219
Why do you think she was your only chance at a lasting relationship?

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I don't think my secret is that uncommon.

Been with lots of women and even got a girlfriend recently. Before we met though, I had become really interested in trying to give a guy oral or bottoming. Not sure how that started.

Gf moved away a few weeks ago and we continued as a long distance couple. Made it easier to find someone, which I did a few days ago (just gave oral).

Honestly, it wasn't that great. It' was much hotter as a fantasy. Not interested in doing it ever again.

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I really want to fuck my daughter. Pic related. She makes me really hard.

>>25158009
Oh stop it, you fool. Go back in there. You can do it.

>>25147469
You still around, op?

>>25164707
when im dating someone? i'm not scum like that

>>25156873
you can make it back if you want, go to a meeting and do 24 hours at a time

>>25164339
because I don't care about people as much as I once did and I'm not an attractive person in any regard

To be honest...I've been obsessed with my ex for a number of years. I saved her life (literally) and she saved mine, having brought me back from the brink.

I often think about her, dream about her, and, even though it's been so long...if she wanted to try, I'd jump at the chance in a heartbeat. She and I had retried our relationship five years ago, but she cheated, again, immediately... I've always felt so attached to her - so resonant. I don't know...maybe I am just crazy, but I really wish, after all these years, she and I could be together again.

Welp. It looks like I'm doing this venting thing
again. It seemed to help the last time I was here.

It doesn't make sense. They should have got their shit. They paid waaaay before anyone else. Just cause I was Incapable to get it because its not kosher for me to do it until like a couple months from now.

Itsalodeasheet. Like I said five total. You brought me three. Shouldn't you still bring me the other two. We didn't runout yet at that point. IT JUST DOESNT. BLYRHWHQHFHRR. LIKE I wound up giving them their money back(fortheirunrecieveditems) because of that......roughly a hour later. And I handled it as perfectly as I can....but I agree completely. it's a load of bullshit that they didn't.

Im a diagnosed psychopath and I think im suffering from depression but its impossible for me to project it.
I just have 0 motivation to do anything even though I have made plans for the next few months on what things to fix in my life. Getting started seems impossible

>>25164615
Occasionally

I've only had sex twice, both times with hookers and both experiences were more than disappointing.

This made me not want to have sex again and I haven't been able to to pursue any relationship or even hook up since then.

>>25166409
Try nofap

>>25166417
that only makes me want to fap

I took my gf to Disney world for her birthday, she forgot mine and I've been doubting the relationship ever since.

>>25166419
Try an hero

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>>25166456
>vent and secret threads
>get told to kys

what is this, /adv/?

>>25147469
I think I don't like my girlfriend that much any more.

>>25167098
Been there. Ended it. Much happier now.

Stop being a bitch and just do it.

>>25165761
Go and stay go

>>25147469
Do u remember how we meet? I was walking down to the bus station while listening to music... Even though music was loud i could hear your steps, well idk how to call this but you ran after me. My heart beat faster with every step you were closer. It felt weird like i was sensing you. When you caught me you moved your hand onto my shoulder and said hey. With the biggest smile and with the nicest look on this world you looked at me. I was suprised but smiled back. We walked together to the bus stop even though it was in opposite direction of where you were headed. That walk was the best walk i had in my life. That chat we had was so stupid but i enjoyed everyminute of it. I know since then we havent talked much but when walking that path alone a few times i realized. No mattrr how unbeliavable it seems or stupid...i feel in love with you. I hope i can walk with you again :)

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I realize this isn't /adv/ but I didn't want to start a thread there, and feel as if I'd get better feedback here for some reason. Pretty much, I'm looking to actually share my "secret" with the world, reluctantly however. I've come to terms with who I am and am proud of how far I've come, but I still need some feedback. Yes, I do realize this may not be the best thread for it, but there's no harm in trying.
I need to get back in the world of dating, after neglecting it for a good 6 or so years, and now I have this full time (amazing) job that sucks up most of my time and energy. So I decided to start up on online dating, OKCupid, and possibly tinder (unsure yet). And I have this very strange, abnormal interest I'm quite hesitant in the unveiling of. This is a part of what I'm thinking of writing in my about-me bio for OKCupid:

""My passion in life revolves around development systems and motivational sciences. I don't actually work in psyche, but I just love discovering the whys and hows of what inspires people to do the things they do, and the systems that can help and support personal attainment. I do many personal experiments on this and it's a big part of my life. Who knows, maybe it took me a while to realize that I'm just looking for someone special to share it with.""

So pretty much I study motivation as a hobby, think like Actualized YT videos, easy to grasp pop-psyche material, not too far off from self-help. My worry is: I don't want to seem too weird with this extremely niche interest. Could anyone throw me some pointers? Should I keep it locked up for another time?

i simultaneously have lots of friends but no real friends.
i have no one who talks to me daily or wants me to to do things with them.
fuck

It's not the cheating that bothers me. Its not the fact that I caught you sleeping with another guy. Its the fact that you refused to talk to me about any of the problems you felt in our relationship. Its that when you first started noticing that you weren't as excited to spend time with me, you cheated on me, kept it to yourself, and then brushed it off. It's that when you finally did want to break up with me, you decided it was better to ignore it as long as possible, and to cheat on me again. What bothers me the most, is that regardless of what you say, you didn't respect me enough as a human being to consider the feelings of someone you supposedly cared about. And when I finally caught you, when I finally forced the conversation out of you, you acted so cold and uncaring towards me that you didn't just break my heart, you shattered me to my core. And I've been clawing for a month now to scrape every little piece together in hopes that I can put it all back together, that maybe I can salvage my own decimated self, and the entire time you've been in a happy relationship with the man you cheated on me with. Because that's why you really did it. It wasn't because you're broken or damaged, its because you decided that you were more concerned about where you were going to get your next fuck from, and to hell with how much that tore me apart. And the part that disgusts me the most is that I still love you, even after all of that. Fuck you and the poor bastard you're spreading the clap to.

My secret is I am currently doing some very dumb and revealing things on my new tumblr

https://willspreadassondemand.tumblr.com/

and i do regret it already but for added risk and fun i am spreading my link around before i delete stuff.

I don't even know you, and we've never talked. But I think I'm getting a high-school level crush on you.
Jesus fucking Christ I am an adult.

>>25167401
same situation here..Lol..don't worry.. :)

>>25167098
this is probably my bf

I'm in love with someone who isn't in the same dimension as I am.

I get paid to hurt people

>>25167699
I just do it for fun

>>25164450
I fucked my daughter's friend while my daughter was in the next room. Not sure what that counts for.

Alright so m/24... I'm into super crazy stuff there's seriously never anyone to talk to. Snap is anonuser9301.. Help me out

I love my boyfriend but I resent him for a number of reasons. He hasn't worked in a year and just sits in bed all day and I hate it. I'm an introvert and need my space and he's here 24/7 driving me insane.

He doesn't want to do anything but sit there and play video games, drink soda and smoke. He's taken to smoking in the house and I hate how everything fucking smells so bad from it.

He's got a kid from another relationship who just turned 5, won't work with the mom on anything I ask about so he's always eating poorly, SHITTING AND PISSING HIS FUCKING PANTS AND ALWAYS SICK. I hate it. I hate my life.

I resent him and his kid so much to the point I think about killing myself because my family love him and his kid so much that if I left I'd never hear the end of it from anyone but I can't handle it.

It'd be better if he wasn't a fucking mooch leaching off my life source. Anytime I bring up working he's suddenly in pain.

I wish I'd die in my sleep a lot.

>>25168071
I'm not trying to criticize you at all, but genuinely curious. When women are in self-admitted terrible relationships where they resent their partner, and resent the living situation, why don't they leave or attempt to change it for the better? Seems it just devolves and gets worse until something awful happens, pregnancy, or they have a slight breakdown.

Why not move out on your own, find another dude, or just break it off?

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My dad is an ass. He constantly redirects his anger at me. Say he's mad at work. He yells at me for something small like not taking out the trash or something. He doesn't do it to my mom or sister because they don't stand for it. He knows I hate yelling and that's why I don't fight back. He then tried to give me shit or remind me that he does X, Y, and Z for me, as if that somehow makes up for the fact that my entire life I have been his verbal punching bag because he can't deal with his problems like a mature adult. Then he wonders why I constantly avoid him every chance I can and acts offended that I would dare be mad at him.

I hate my father. I really do. He is such a fucking asshole.

>>25168123
Fuck, are you me? I don't think I'd care as much if he was mad at me for actual reasons I caused. I'm extremely sensitive and cry around yelling too and my dad thinks I only cry to make him feel bad so he just gets more angry.

>>25168139
God I know your pain. I've always been a sensitive child growing up. My sister responds pretty yell to my dads teaching style which is a firm hand and sometimes yelling. So, for whatever reason, he seems to think we're the same.

But it's so annoying. And it's always for the most inane fucking shit ever. You know the other day I go threatened to have my phone plan canceled for missing a text (while at school, mind you). Now you might expect this text to be pretty important. And boy was it: it was "what do you want for dinner tonight?".

I am so sick of it. He lambastes me for not taking depression meds when he can't even handle his fucking anger like an adult, he has to take it out on everyone. Never wants to go to family therapy either because there he actually has to take a fucking chill pill and discuss things as if we're equals, HUGE no no, it's much better just to bitch at me because he's angry about work.

I hate the most that he tries to buy me off. As if getting me new stuff will somehow fix the fact that he is such a huge asshole constantly. But hey, it's his choice. When I run out of the house and never speak to him ever again, I hope using me as his personal anger outlet was worth it. I really hope that at the end of that day, the love of his son was worth an easy target to shoot at, especially when that target isn't around anymore.

So I've seem to gotten myself into a chasing Amy situation where I want to bang this lesbian

>>25147469
Highkey just wanna beat my meat to another chick finger fucking the living hell outta herself. I've never done it and it sounds so satisfying

Honestly if I didn't question the possibility of an afterlife after death and feared the idea of being put into a black abyss, I would have killed myself years ago.

I am starting to lose hair in my early twenties. My dad was bald so I'm afraid it might hit me too. I would look absolutely horribly bald though and it's making me kind of suicidal

I feel like I'm about to snap and do something horribly stupid, and I don't know how to stop myself.

>>25167686
What do you even mean?

>>25168058
Pics

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>>25148619
>I don't have any bad intentions, teehee
Fuck cunts that rationalize their behavior like this. What you do, not what you intend, is what matters. Being a duplicitous liar with "good intentions" doesn't make you any less of a duplicitous liar juat because you supposedly mean well. Fucking garbage.

I'm cheating on my gf with my boss.
>get new job working as front of house in hotel.
>boss younger than me, chubby, blonde, glasses, business suit.
>in downtime during shifts because we'll find ourselves with nothing to do for a couple hours we'd just talk
>talk about relationships, I tell her about my gf, she tells me about her bf
>super confortable talking about sex with each other, both confess we've both been feeling neglected sexually
>time passes, get closer. She starts leaning and getting close to me
>one day we're in the storage room, towls and bedding shit kept for guests, just quality check bs.
>she walks in, forced some casual talk then tells me she's always wanted to have sex at work.
>How could I not pick up that hint
>Tell her we could make that happen
>she looks embarrassed, aroused
>we promise no one needs to know
>I start kissing her neck, I reach down and start fingering her already drenched pussy.
>she grabs my cock, starts jerking me.
>finger fuck her harder, she practically falls back into a washing machine.
>I lift her up remove everything below her waist and fuck her
>came inside her because we opted not to get our work uniforms messy.
>been fucking her every chance we get at work.
Icing on the cake is that her bf works in another hotel and I sometimes have to talk to him over the phone

>>25168422
Are you 12?

>>25168159
You're the son? Kek
Dude don't take it so hard. You already know hes struggling. He is obviously fucked up. My father was even more abusive and I felt the same way as you when I was living home.
Once you move out and see him less frequently you will be fine. You don't need to "run away."
The buying things to make up will never stop. But you need to realize that his anger isn't a reflection on you, it is just a reflection if himself. He is mad about his own life and is dissatisfied with himself.
Raising a family isn't easy. I'm sorry he is such a dick to you. Let the experience make you stronger.

>>25168714
No waifu no laifu

>>25168071
leave him for fucks sake you autist

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Been living a hollow life for the past 20 or so years, away from other people. It isn't by choice either, I'd so happily accept friends but I am 30 years old and it isn't like high-school where you could just walk up to someone and all of a sudden make a friend, not that it was like that for me. Fuck, I don't think anyone in my entire life has ever called me a friend. I was just that guy who speaks when spoken to or the guy who awkwardly tried to talk to strangers. I've had zero relationships and I'm still a God damn virgin. I wish wizardry was legitimate or else I'd have shot a fucking lightning bolt through my skull and been done with this. I don'tveven have the courage to look down the barrel of a loaded gun. I've been coping with dozens of medications in my system, but of course I can no longer rely on that. My insurance was terminated for no good reason and I don't have any more pills left, nor do I have the money to sustain the amount of prescriptions I'd need to actually deal with life.

Kill me.

>>25168714
I watched a retarded anime and now here I am years later still committed and in love

>>25168851
I mean run away like when I get a well paying job and can live on my own. Run away like walk and never look back sorta thing.

It's more that I'm tired of his shit. I've been dealing with it silently for years and I've finally just had enough of it.

>>25169875
I know man. But you'll see. And one day he is ginna depend on you. One day he'll be old and weak and you'll realize the shit he put you througg wasn't the end of the world. Maybe you'll find it in your heart to spare him the cold shoulder and you can help him out.
Or maybe he'll continue to be a bitter abusive fuck til the day he dies. Regardless you are blood and he is within you always so never forget that

>>25169938
Fuck people like you. Literally the worst. I'm sorry but that doesn't justify abuse or even mean jack shit. The whole he's blood thing is BULLSHIT. some of my blood is pedophiles, guess what? Sorry, fuck them. It's not up to you to be so condescending and say it's not the end of the world, you'll see, because for people who go through that shit it hurts. It's not the end of the world, but hell, it doesn't change what people go through and the fact that they have the right to deal with shit the way that's right for them and it's totally justified. I hate the whole you'll see bullshit. I've ran away and never looked back, and been through this shit. Want to know what I see? Abusive shits who i'm not going to waste my life on. But of course "I'll see" even though my dad is a rapist and my mom literally let me get raped and abused and did it herself, right? Of course.

why am i so fucking weird. why cant i be a normal person like everyone else. why am i a fucking spaz. why cant i find someone who will accept me for that. why did things end so poorly with my first and only real girlfriend. why do i value my self worth based on if i have a gf or not.

>>25170422
Holy shit you are so triggered and you didn't even read my posts. You should work on your issues, man.

>>25169938
I have to agree with the others. I'm someone else entirely but I plan on never speaking to my family ever again once I get the chance. My sister tried to suffocate me as a kid among tons of other things, my brother called me whore instead of helping me when I thought I was pregnant (with the only man I had ever slept with and used condoms every time so it wasn't even like I was sleeping around and deserved it), my mom smoked more weed than me, didn't pay bills then let my sister back into the house and said my opinion never mattered(even though she told my mom directly she would come into my room and beat me if i ever drank milk again) and my dad mentally abuses me constantly.

I've never felt close to anyone in my family and have always hidden my true personality from them. I've lived a shit life because of all of them too. I'm stuck with my dad currently but I'm going to make sure I never talk to him again when I can.

>>25148104
Simple Solution. Call the police and inform that he told you he said that he is going to kill himself and you stopped him. He will be involuntary comitted and they will get him on meds.

>>25168139
>>25170621
Yeah get the fuck away from them

Miss you bunny

>>25147469
i'm known as artist and scientist who needs money for a new home and research.

[spoiler]but when i have the money i pay someone.
i let livestream
>how my legs get cut off, so i can never run away again.
>how my arms get cut off, so i can never paint or build something again.
>how my tongue get cut off, so i can never speak again.
>how my teeth get hit out, so i can never hurt someone again.
>my rest live being a sexslave[/spoiler]

>>25171342
>im 16.
Well, bye.

>>25170515
Yeah, I'm triggered because your posts are retarded, and I did read them. People have the right to deal with abuse in the way that's right for them, and it's goddamn tiring hearing the same bullshit of forgive them, you'll see, one day they'll depend on you, it wasn't the worst in the world, they're your blood never forget that! The point is they're abusive. Blood or not, weak or not, whatever it is, they're abusive. People are hurt by that. And people have the right to deal with that the way they do, especially if it's something as reasonable as cutting ties.
I've already worked on my shit. Nice judgement with no basis when you're the retard giving shitty ignorant advice.

>>25171342
Hang in there! Most adults out there were awkward self conscious teenagers. The kids who seem to have it all seem to have problems after HS. The truth is life sucks at times for everyone. We're all fighting battles, it's just some battles are more apparent than others. Your trials of today will fade away and make you stronger. Your future son needs you to go through this so you can guide him through this when it's his turn.

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I live in 2 bedroom, 1bath. I have a roommate hats a girl and I masterbate in her shampoo,face wash,milk. Whenever I make fruit shakes or milk shakes before she gets back from school I nut all in it. I've been doing this for years. whenever I see her drink or use it or know she's taking a shower with my cum. I have to masterbate or get off somehow. Now she's leaving to finish her masters in another college. Nothing gets me hard besides her idk why

I want to fuck my boss, and despite a little bit of an age gap, I think if we were both single, he'd be down for it.

I'd never do anything about it, but it's hard not to acknowledge.

I have so many fetishes that normal sex has become just "eh" for me. I've tried to get rid of them, but I swear to god it's impossible.

I'll be turning 21 soon and I've never had a girlfriend

Ever since I discovered masturbating at 15 I disliked being lonely, it wasn't ever too bad though to where it would cause me too much stress but now it's just about all I think about

What's wrong with me? Where can I go to find girls? Am I ugly? Does she really enjoy talking with me? How many other guys is she chatting with? etc

I long for intimacy so badly yet no other woman seems to accept my advances (I've tried too) and I just can't live like this anymore

My problems aren't unique and I don't have it the worst but I can't continue this anymore

I want to have a secret sexual relationship with another guy. Really want to bottom.

>>25168957

I'm certainly no expert in making friends, but I think the best thing you can do is get a hobby where you interact with other people. Get to know some of them, be outgoing, be sociable (you have to actually be genuinely interested in what they have to say), and then end up going out for a drink with them or grab a bite, etc.

I did this with Jiu Jitsu and I've met a ton of people who only have that sport in common. All you really need to make friends is an opportunity to connect with them and the willingness and ability to keep up that connection.

I'm 30 now, and I had always planned on being either married or dead by now

I'm neither, and life feels really empty, I feel like I'm floating along a lot of the time

Someitmes I get into a really depressed state and I get really weird urges to hurt myself. Like consciously I'd never want to kill myself, but sometimes I get into these weird fugue states where I feel like I'm floating above my body, and I get these weird urges to jump in front of traffic. They actually kind of scare me, I have avoided taking the subway just because I knew I was feeling something like this and I didn't know if I could trust myself to not do it

>>25173047
Go backpacking in europe for a month

I'm serious. If you're willing to be dead you have nothing to lose. Go on a meaningful adventure and find something new in your life.

>>25173070

I don't think I have enough money to do that

I have gone hiking and I like it a lot, but I'm unfortunately currently stuck in the center of NYC and it takes at least 3 hours from where I am to get to some nature, so it makes it not very easy

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I'm tired all the time

I can't say anything positive about myself. I can make jokes about it and lie, but I can't look in the mirror and say something good about the person I see in there.

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>>25173039
I tried that... I took aikido for three years but I was always alone. Right now I am trying fucking card games to try to make friends, but so far the only time anyone ACTUALLY plays with me, let alone talks to me, is during tournaments where they don't exactly have a choice. I've tried my hardest to have a sociable countenance but fuck me if it ever worked.

I'm a 26 year old man with very long hair and I've only just learned about the norwood scale. I'm a solid 3 and thinning. I've not had short hair since was 13 and I'm dreading the inevitable shave.

my best friend just dumped a heroin addict for a cokehead and somehow thinks it's a step up. Oh boy.

>>25174146
baby steps?

Sitting in my house mixing stimulants and feeling sorry for myself, got some xanax sitting around but might just play some CSGO instead.

This is going to multiple people.

I promise you there's a method to my "madness". My hexaoctogonal peg of a brain isn't the easiest to explain.

Also yeah, Mr c isn't the easiest person to work with, I really dont enjoy their harshness either. Probably the only person I wouldn't care too much if they got eaten by a werewolf(thatsAInJoke).

There wasn't a point in "yelling" at you for not making the thing you never made before today.

I mean everyone's got their own personal song and dance that they skip to. If everyone was the same then the world would be a less interesting place.

He's not on your ass. He's just very harsh in general. Trust me your doing a wonderful job. Your basically at the top of top tiers of new fish in my head. But that's partially because you reminded me of me from the first second I saw you. ()I couldn't confirm the theory that first day but it seems accurate. That's narcissistic as hell but we needed more me's. I mean I'm sure your different but your also similar. But like at the same time there wasn't the instamindmeld friendship thing that me and jack had.

Like LOOK I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL YOU WONDERFUL NEW FISH BUT HOW DO I FRIENDSHIP I DONT EVEN. No idea how I even have the little bit of friends I do have.

Anyway I'm done. You have a good life random anon who decided to read all this. Or just skip to the end.

I found my friend's girlfriend on Fetlife. Not gonna lie, I've been fapping to her pics. I really want to fuck her, but I don't want to possibly do stuff with him

Pyrophiliac here. Live in midwest US.
I'm stuck in a dead-end job in a mix of sales and low-level management... small-town USA fuck-shits all over. No educational promises coming my way. I like science but fuck I ain't no autism.
I'm good with fire. I've used different methods of ignition and different burn patterns. I'm good with flame retardants and have my own stockpile of chemicals ready for whenever stashed safely away from home.

I want to burn something, something big. Maybe a church or some office building or a warehouse. Lots of empty ones here, for starters. Then I want to move on to something bigger after, like an old school or gym. Fuck, sometimes I think of burning the ol' firehouse. Not leaving messages or anything like that, I just want to see it burn down charred.
Not sure that I should do it in my hometown though, might try the next town or two over. Haven't picked a target or a method yet. Thoughts?

inb4 burning ppl alive, no. Just empty structures and objects, not people.

>>25176857
link?

>>25173889
Hmu if you ever need to vent to someone or some shit like that, even if u just feel the urge to chat about stupid shit.

i wish i'd listened to my gut all that time instead of blindly following my clouded happiness like a moth to a flame.

>>25147469
I was very close to jumping off a bridge two years ago because I thought I was getting kicked out of college.

I can barley function without paxil but it makes jerking off a nightmare.

I'm legitmately upset over the fact that there won't be a sequel to the Power Rangers movie.

When I was younger, my dad used to shave me, cut my finger and toe nails, trim my pubes, pop pimples on my face and back, and would smell my penis and armpits to make sure they smelled nice. He once took a shower with me when I was five and my mom and brother were out of the house.

I write shipping fanfiction about children's cartoons and superheroes.

I love my girlfriend and she's been there for me when no one else has and I've loved seeing her grow from a teenager to a young woman. She's about to graduate college

I need to break up with her because I need to be free and get my own thing figured out. And this isn't about some grass is greener fantasy where I have to fuck all these girls.

I need to be on my own completely and have my life and the longer im with her the worse this feeling will get because this adventurous fire in my heart won't go away. And it's an adventure I want to do on my own

But my first step to grow up: I need to stop being a coward and break up with her instead of stringing her along. I just love her so much and it's hard

>>25170431
You'll get through it. At least you can identify the problem. And you need to find people like you.

>>25169142
post a picture of her

>>25167670
Why do you think that :-(

>>25168058
Good god man. Was the pussy bomb? How did that even start?

>>25177348
No. Too embarrassed and don't want someone to recognize me.

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Kik: Flo Rian (flowsen781)

>>25177415
Come on dude!! I wanna know if she's cute

>>25148044
Sometimes, we must remember the ones we loved in the past. The truth of the matter is you still love her. Love never go's away, it just gets dimmer. It's okay to feel the pain. You should. It will keep you human.

>>25149088
Boy or girl? Either way I'd be down with a friendly chat

I know how that feels man... its not much better when shes single either, still wont happen :/

I want to kill myself.

Yeah just popping by thought I would drop in and let you know. Yeah I think after 3 years of pure fucking hell and understanding that 99% of the people I have met through my life even tho they say they care. Actually would just love to watch me rot in prison or call me a dick way after I'm dead. And the 1% that does care is actually myself. I think from here on out. I'm going to ease being social. Well im not anyways but none the less. Since it is 2 weeks before my birthday I think i'm just going to be selfish and enjoy it. Everyone else seems to be having their turn of pure suffering coming up. And since mine has ended I think I'm just going to do everything for me regardless from now on. I mean it's not like anyone knows I died in January 16 when my body shut down from all the what was it again.......oh yeah 2500mg-3200mg of well sleeping tablets, anti psychotics and other things. But it was fun to wake up in hospital get kicked out of my bed. Sent back to a shitty youth hostel. get evicted a day later, find out someone I cared about fully died that same night. Then be placed in an even worse place to just struggle and recover. So thinking on that. happily I can say with a massive smile. Go fuck yourself all of you and have fun suffering because mine was 3 years in total. But from the way everything is going you will not make it past 6 months. But like i said could not give a shit and just letting you all know. So yeah have fun, I wish you luck in life. And remember to turn the safety off. Make sure it is whiskey or vodka or both as well. And trains are the most painful or affected. I will not stop you nor care. I'am happy now. It is over. And i'm smiling because i know i'am better off without any of you and I didn't really need any of you in the first place. Family and friends.......who needs them....I know i sure don't. But alas life goes on. Laters. =)

when i was about 5 and a half or 6 and a half a neighborhood boy about the age of 13-15 asked me if i wanted to play. I was playing alone and thought nothing of it so i said yes. he pulled me into his garage, pulled down my pants, pulled down his pants and started pressing his penis against mine, laughing and smiling. i was in shock and sort of shut down not knowing what to do and felt really uncomfortable. i heard my brother calling my name as our house was just a few doors down the cul de sac. the guy that was abusing me realized my brother was calling me and told me to pull up my pants as he pulled up his and he shoved me in the direction of my brother and i never saw him again. fucked me up for 20 years before i started talking about it and healing that weird ass trauma. i carried shame and guilt for 20 god damn years of my life.

i forgive him though. because he was hurting too. maybe he was abused when he was a kid and that really fucked him up. the only thing i can hope for is that he didnt continue to do this to little kids or anybody else at all. i used to wish he were dead or that i could kill him myself but i cant feel that anymore. it wears on your soul, man.

it just sucks because i felt like something was stolen from me for the longest time and i didnt feel like a whole person. but im starting to feel better. i dropped acid with my SO in march and these feelings just poured out of me and shes helped me heal so much so far...

still healing

>>25177989

When I was 10 or so a 16 year old friend of a friend convinced me and my buddy it was normal for guys to get together and suck eachothers dicks. Of course, looking back, he really just got us to suck him off and then we only sucked eachother off. I don't think it fucked me up too bad, except that as an adult I'm hypersexual. It's almost all I have thought about since that day, and I'm not sure if that's just who I am or because of what he did. Still friends with the other kid and its an awkward memory for us we dont talk about

I've been with my girl for 5 years. 2 Months ago I got a temporary gig working with a mutual female friend of hours, and during that time I fell hard for her. I have issues with certain things about my current girlfriend but I love her very much. I thought my infatuation with this other girl would go away but it hasn't, I think about her every day and hanging out has become awkward because I avoid looking at her and I shut down.I dont know what to do.

I'm not sure but I might be losing my job

I'm a network engineer

New client coming in, they said I'll be dedicated to this client but it looks like now since they hired someone who has way more experience than me and they are coming in with a longer work history they will be dedicated to this client, not sure If they will keep me around however, I hope I still have a job and I'll still get to work here

I'm leaving my current job for another several states over. I don't know anyone where I'm moving. I don't know anyone where I'm leaving. Moving is stressful and difficult, but I'm having mini panic attacks about how alone/lonely I am, doing all the work by myself, and where I'll be landing I'll still be alone.

I've never had many friends growing up; i'm really introverted and asocial. Its really draining for me to socialize with people, even people I know and like. I just don't know what to do sometimes, and its hard not having anyone by my side nearing my mid-life point.

>>25178039
Wow, man. Thank you for sharing. Shit we experience as a kid is some of the deepest scars. My dad raised us to shame homosexuality so I was always embarrassed about what happened to me...until I opened up about it with someone irl. I told my mom and brother shortly after telling my SO about what happened and now they understand why I started to have a temper "out of nowhere"

I've become completely jaded about relationships. I used to be a real romantic, and want a wife and kids, but in the past year or so I've lost all interest in relationships at all. Every now and then I'll feel like getting laid, find someone on tinder, fuck her, then never contact her again. The sex is usually pretty shitty as well. I still miss my first girlfriend, we grew up on the same street and I was in love with her for years. We only went out for a year and a half but when she dumped me I completely fell apart. I had therapy because I got suicidal, and I'm generally pretty even these days. It's not even that I'm unhappy with my life right now, but I do miss my first girlfriend and I worry that I'm going to die alone because I have zero interest in building a new relationship with anyone.

I have sexual fantasies about my boyfriends cousin .. i know he probably does about me too because hes always dating people who look similar to me. I am ashamed because hes always around and super friendly with me. I'd never do it but I can't help but have dreams about it a lot.

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I fap to my sisters constantly. I think they're so sexy.

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>>25178903
More of them

>>25178905
would you like to share their pics?

I've been living a double life for the past two years and I don't know why. I've been trying to work up the courage to tell my doctor but I don't know if it is treatable. I can't control it and I've done some really sick stuff, all the while leading a normal life. It isn't like a vice either, I'd stop if I knew how.

>>25179331
Therapists have heard it all. From mundane delusions, to hard drug addictions, to insomnia, to schizophrenics who can't function, to abuse cases... everything.

They won't judge you, and they're trained professionals who have likely seen something like what your case is.

The first step is you having the courage to open up. Which you clearly have. Now make an appointment and go.

>>25178903
>>25178905
>my sisters
>>25164450
>my daughter

which is it?

>>25177507
I'm a girl. I could chat I guess?

>>25149088
>Show me what sort of person you really are. Show me what you're hiding.

I don't think there's anybody that I've shown all of myself to. I always keep something hidden

I'm very tempted to try to make a deal with my ex wife where she has sex with me in exchange for rides. But I'm afraid of what could happen if she's not interested.

>>25179718
haha nobody wants to reveal all of themselves. That's just foolish. It's too vulnerable. That statement was meant to say that I wanted to get to know him more intimately since he hardly ever talks about himself.

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I'd like to find a fit/muscular guy that's into humiliation/degradation/domming of chubby girls but idk where to look ;_;

>>25180084
Right here?

>>25180135
hmm..kik? sc?

>>25147492
I got cheated on in a 6 year relationship. While I do like the way you put it into words, this is pretty much how i felt the first month or two afterward. You'll get over it, relapse in memories and be miserable, and get over it again x N times it takes for you to be done.

>>25179748
>he hardly ever talks about himself.
If he's anything like I am it's probably a self esteem/fear of rejection thing. Best way to deal with it is show interest and ask what you want to know

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I'm almost 30 years old

>New job
>Been here over a month
>Not much training going on since everyone is busy
>Sitting on my ass
>Learning as I go
>Been told by my manager to just sit on meetings, travel to different cities and learn the configurations as I go
>I'm a network engineer from another company and came to this one with no training
>Contract is up in June
>I might actually be out of a job and I really don't know what to do since they are not providing real training in this role
>Ask my manager what I can help with and what I should be doing and pretty much no work is being given to me as of yet
>FEELS

I actually just want a girl to love me and comfort me at night. Everything else i do is just fronting to hide the fact I'm surrounded by crippling loneliness.

>>25180514
;_;

>>25147469
why am i on this terrible board

what the fuck am i doing with my life man

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This is ridiculous. I know that what I'm looking for is not the most common thing in the world, but it seriously shouldn't be THIS hard to find. There are plenty of people out there who are into this sort of thing, but no matter where I look, I can't find a single person who's willing to help me. What am I doing wrong?

>>25147933
Dude, she's not your "best friend." Your relationship is based heavily on you wanting to shove your snake in her cavern. Move on.

>>25180557
What exactly are you looking for?

>>25156703
She's probably fucking a lot of other guys too, though

>>25180676
If you must know, >>25180676
I'm looking to engage in a non-erotic shrunken woman roleplay.
(Typing from my phone)

>>25180779
Are you looking to be the shrunken woman or be the normal non shrunken person who is giant by comparison ?

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hi, I want to commit suicide.
How do i make myself not want to commit suicide

>>25180791
The latter.

>>25180791
Nope, he's trying to say he's into old, shriveled, shrunken ladies.

>>25180805
Maybe ask one of the transgirls? They always seem to be the most open and inventive on role playing threads, but I don't role play so I don't know if that's actually true or if they just *seem* better/more open/creative.

>>25147469
Want to vent but I can't form coherent sentences without it taking a dumb amount of time for some reason. I'm starting to think I haven't produced a single original thought in my life.

>>25180792
1. change the things that make you want to kys
2. go to therapy
3. take medicine that makes you not want to kys

choose one or any combination of those

>>25148109
relate to the first half, think I'm on my way to the second half

I want to help people in theory but in practice, I'm super anti social and it just drains me. Sometimes I just want to quit trying to help anyone and become a shutin.

I'm jealous of how androgynous my best friend looks. They're trans and they pull it off so well. Meanwhile, I'm stuck here and I'm afraid to even attempt to dress or make up. I try telling myself I'm not trans, but I'm not sure anymore

I mean I like having a dick, but I'm just so ducking confused lately and I hate it

>>25167444
Did you ever consider why she cheated on you? Maybe you're a loser beta faggot that couldn't put his tiny prick in the right hole. Maybe all you did was eat candy and jerk off to your fucking video games and rage at 12 year old nerds all day. Maybe you're the problem and she loved you too much to say anything to you because you refuse to change because you're a primitive, comfortable, lazy shit stain of a human being and she's utterly disgusted by your stupid fucking face.

You have the same thing to complain about that my ex did. Wah wah you're with someone else. At least I had the decency to break up with him before I fucked someone else. If your bitch cheats, look at your fucking self before you point fingers. If you honestly 100% can not figure out what you did, where you went wrong or what the fuck she was thinking.. You're either mentally limited or your choice in women is fucking garbage.

>>25179610
LUL

I find naturally blonde women so attractive, it makes me wish I had a dick to fuck em.

I'm addicted to heart break and emotional pain. I keep finding wonderful girls who are into stuff I like and just all around nice, only to mentally shut off and push them away until they are no longer close to me. At this point, I want them back and can't find a way to word my illness before I lose them entirely. It doesn't help that my stress is through the roof from work, which is getting better, and my want to escape reality through MMOs, online in general, or going out drinking makes me feel further and further from anyone I used to care about. Most of he people I wanted to date or be with have moved on, ignored my advances, it I've squandered. End rambling. Thanks for listening.

I just broke up with my girlfriend and I want people to fool around with.

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I've been working on a painting for a while and my autistic faggot little step brother has seen my progress and has gone and made an 'homage' replication of it and has been posting it all over social media and now I'm going to look a bit like a tremendous dipshit when I go and upload a higher quality version of the same thing. It really pisses me off. I don't know if I should call him out on it or not. He's not actually autistic. so like holy shit he should know better. And he's like 22. I don't understand why he's such a fucking man child. I think it was supposed to be flattery? I know he has a crush on me so that makes it even weirder. He thinks I don't know.

The least he could do if actually fucking draw it well. I give him tons of drawing resources and I go to a professional visual effects school and he still won't take my fucking advice.

>>25166452
If it makes you feel better some people are just bad at remembering dates. I can only remember my birthday and my brothers, and only the months of my parents, sister, and friends.

I have a severe crush on you. I think you feel the same way.

You're older than me. When we chat you turn me on. But we're both in monogamous relationships and we're happy that way so being your friend and sharing porn together is pretty nice.


But I'd bend you over in the woods anyday if you'd let me.