vent thread. come in here, talk about whats bothering you.

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A girl broke my heart recently

I want to meet other girls but too much of a sperg

it sucks mang

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>>25044501
I'm sorry anon... if she wasn't happy in the relationship though, it probably wasnt meant to be.

I guess I can post my issues?

I just found out that my adoptive mom has terminal cancer. I'm completely draining my bank account to drive over 1000 miles to see her one last time before she... before its too late. My birth mother passed away when I was a teenager, and this woman took me in and really helped me come into my own. It's like losing my mom all over again, and the pain is so intense... I'm just so stressed and choked up.

i went on a tinder date and we got on really well, cheeky kiss and now they're ghosting me
kind of bummed because it's been a really, really long time since i've enjoyed someones company

>>25044538

> it probably wasnt meant to be.

Yeah... its a long story

>I just found out that my adoptive mom has terminal cancer

Sorry to hear that anon, i have too many friends/acquaintances battling right now so i somewhat understand the pain.

I hope it goes well and just so you know, i think you made the right decision.

I'm fucking sick of my life. it's the same fucking shit every day. work until lunch, ride my bike for an hour or two, then go home and play video games and masturbate. I'm just fucking sick of it. and before you say "oh go out and meet someone" the problem is I live in a small country town where everyone knows everyone, and in HS i was an outcast and don't get along with anyone that I'd be interested in dating.
some days I just wanna ride my bike off a fucking cliff.

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>>25044540
maybe they feel too guilty or awkward to tell you up front how they felt about the situation. Trust me though, I understand.

>>25044622
>i think you made the right decision.
You have no idea how much this means to me right now dude. I'd post a crying emoticon but someone will call me a faggot.

>>25044647
If it helps, I give people 546745734573546 chances when it comes to friendship. If you ever need someone to talk to, even if shit is dark and you feel like an emo for saying "yo im in a bad place and i wanna fuckin die my dude" I'll be there for you. I'll post my kik or snapchat if you want it.

To be honest sometimes I think being born was a curse. You spend everyday trying not to die and then you have a famimy and worry starts with keeping them alive and well. Stressful as fuck.

>>25044666
nah it's fine. desu i'm not that comfortable talking about how I truly feel. I'm so used to putting on a facade so people don't suspect anything's wrong that I struggle to express how I truly feel a lot of the time.

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>>25044674
Oh same.

>>25044690
Okay then, anon. Just know that I really REALLY understand where you're coming from.

Have you ever thought yourself into love?

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>>25044721
I know that I've have people fall for who they think I am rather than who I am. On the internet people can choose how much or little of themselves other people can see, and as a result I end up with a lot of admirers I never expect or deserve.

I've been in a semi long distance ( same country ) relationship for 5 years without penetrative sex. Its driving me insane but I love her immensely.

I have a tendency for loneliness and I curb girls advances away from me because of my unhealthy tendence for loyalty.

We have discussed an open relationship and sometimes I do crave something simple with some girl I get to see and fuck every day like I had in the past.

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>>25044831
I know someone in this exact situation. I know he loves her, and she loves him. Why not just move in together? you've been together long enough.

>>25044932
Thx for your reply, its a bit of a bit mess, she wants to finish her education before moving our of her parents house while Ive been living alone all that time.

Some people tell me that loyalty only goes so far but isn't that what loyalty and commitment is all abiutt? Sometimes its more difficult than the other times.

But day to day it can make me feel miserable.

>>25044538
Easy there hi-speed, limit's 35.

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>>25044975
This is eerily similar to my friend's situation. You don't live in Brazil, do you?

I know that feeling. Have you considered playing with toys over skype or something?

>>25045002
all the street signs say that.

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I know I should be doing my college work right now, that's the only thing that pisses me off, that I don't think I do my work that often because I live at home. Fully stocked fridge, privacy in my room, and a computer with games at my entire disposal, it's a death sentence to studying.
When I lived on campus I was a bit more productive when I'd go into the basement. The basement has chairs, tables, and I'd go there with just my laptop and some music and work would actually be done. Gotta get out the comfort zone.
I have a few pages for a history essay on the WWI armistice to do, a computer program to write, and an abstract algebra test to study for.

i'm in love with wrench but he's a vidya character

really though i just had a really nasty breakup with a dude i wasn't really actually dating but the story is longer than i'm ready to post even though i'm anon lmao

I'm young and married to an older woman, but now i have a crush developing for a coworker of mine. Shes younger and more vibrant and full of energy and easier to talk to and healthier and. honestly uglier than my wife, but she has a very unique tomboyish look that i think is hot.

Just moved back into my parents house and I'm fucking depressed as all hell, I've been shut in my room for the past 4 days since I have been here and still have shit at my old pad.

I just feel like i'm taking a step backwards, regardless if i plan on returning to school! My love life is in shambles and all the improvements I thought I was making have fallen apart.

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>>25045032
have you tried going to places like mcdonalds or whatever in the middle of the night? they're called liminal spaces; totally abandoned but are meant to be populated.

>>25045238
no one will ever live up to wrench and honestly its a tragedy. you can greentext, or not if you really dont want to share. i feel for you though.

>>25045256
do NOT fuck over your wife. young, dumb, full of cum NOT a good choice over I PROMISED TO LOVE YOU FOREVER.

>>25045285
trust me, i was there recently. i hated living with my parents. i was in the closet, constantly made fun of, etc. i think its always best to focus on you during these times. life is not a ladder, but a mountain. There's all sorts of bumps and dips along the way, but you'll make your way to the top if you persevere.

>captcha is mountains
>iswydt

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>>25045471
AYYYYYY

You know what I fucking hate?

Feminists who have never bothered to evaluate their beliefs.

I know a girl online. Militant feminist. Fuck Trump. Bash the fash. GET OUT OF MY UTERUS REPUBLICANS. You know the type.

This is the type of girl that would spontaneously combust if she was forced to vacation at a Trump hotel. Or forced to vacation in a deep Red State.

But know where she DID vacation for Spring Break?

Mexico.

Her Instagram is full of pictures, and lines about how beautiful Mexico is. "I love mexico <3".

But abortion is illegal in Mexico in every single state except Mexico City itself, even in the case of rape, incest, and the health of the mother in most cases. 30% to 60% of marital relationships involve domestic violence. Prosecution of rape often depends on the chastity of the victim. Mexico ascribes to the machismo culture and women generally get the shit end of the stick.

Mexico is about 100 times more backwards than ANY red state when it comes to this sort of thing.

So how could a feminist who is ALL about reproductive rights, gaining control of her uterus, even ALLOW herself to vacation in a shithole like Mexico?

I bombed her Instagram with a brief run down on all this, and she just deleted them.

Blows my fucking mind. You might as well vacation in Saudi Arabia.

my boyfriend told me he thinks some ugly fatass cunt who had a kid at like 21 is cute and i WANT TO SCREAM

my self-esteem game is at an all time low and i just want 2 die rn

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Since I was in 4th grade I've thought about killing myself on a semi regular basis. I always manage to just keep on okay with these thoughts occasionally striking me like a sickness. It has gotten gradually worse as life has went on and now I'm 19. Actually called the suicide hotline the other day. My insecurity has pretty much consumed my entire personality. I spend most of my time thinking about how ugly, stupid, worthless, lazy, talentless, annoying, and despicable I am.

I do not like anything about me. I never could answer the questions or games like "say one thing you're proud of/you like about yourself" or "what are your hobbies". Whenever I do manage to get closer to someone in any capacity I torpedo it with my insecurity one way or another.

Why do I keep coming back to this fucking board? Why do I keep looking for validation wherever I can possibly find it? I never get much and even if I did it would never satisfy me, I'm a bottomless pit. My life is just pitiful and my personality is an abyss
But other than that I'm doing okay, how about you guys?

>>25045524
A lot of authors actually think their writing is shit.

But they accept that their fans like it. So they keep writing. And in a way, writing makes them happy, because they know it makes others happy.

But they still think their books are shit.

You need to adapt a similar mindset. You are a cog in the machine. Your impact dozens of other people around you. They would be sad if you died. And you have made them very happy in the past. So you should accept that, accept that you are a force of good in their lives, and leave it at that. You can hate yourself so long as you accept that they like you, and their affection has real meaning that negates your own self loathing, at least in the grand scheme of things.

>>25045520
If you're brown, the bar is set so low you are at risk of tripping on it. That is how it is from their perspective. Why do you think any SJW rag will lead inquisitions over campus rape (despite the campus rape rate almost always being lower than the city it is surrounded by) or men spreading legs on the subway also want western countries to bite the pillow so refugees from places like Syria can pour in?

The only thing that consistently explain all their position is a hatred for white men. You can hear their thinly veiled contempt if you ever get in a conversation with one of these types. All they want to do is knock them down a peg and spite them, they'll even do things against their stated goals in order to do this.

>>25045543
>You impact dozens of other people around you. They would be sad if you died.

Only a dozen would be more than mildly upset, or really upset for a brief period, if I passed. The dozen that do truly care (pretty much only family that love me by default) would live happy lives after either way. I don't think I should keep drudging along for them

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>>25045520
I prefer to think of those people as faux-menists, or, you know, cunts. Sometimes the actual movement calls them white feminists or TERFs. They hold back the actual movement and prevent real progress on actual issues, because they're only "feminist" when it's convenient for them, or it garners them attention.

>>25045521
Don't attack other women just because you feel shitty about yourself. Talk to your boyfriend about how what he said made you unhappy. If he doesn't get why it's a big deal or doesn't care, it means he doesn't value your feelings and you should seek a better partner. Confidence comes from within, though. Seeking validation from other people only ruins you further, trust me.

>>25045524
A lot of times when someone feels disliked, they may try to "give people a reason to" and act out, act unpleasant, or say controversial things [like 90% of this site does. they're asshats because they think no one loves them and they want attention, negative or otherwise.]. Trust me when I say you can come out of this spiral.

I've attempted suicide 5 times in my life. The closest I ever got was last time. I downed an entire bottle of pills and idly lurked discord until a friend messaged me, saying he was worried about me. It occurred to me that love and acceptance doesn't have to come from ones immediate surroundings, and he actually spoke to me like i was a human being, and respected my emotions. He got me to go to the hospital and saved my life. I was on anti-toxin for two days, but I lived. I changed my surroundings, changed my friends, and my life improved drastically. Remember that there's always someone around to listen to you.

I'm there if you need me.

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>>25045524
Girl you're fine! I was the same when I was in 4rth grade too believe me you're not the only who had these suicdial thoughts everyone does whether you want to believe it or not it natural.. and about the whole hobbies and stuff it's completely normal to not really have any hobbies at your age I'm 18 and I can't even name any Hobbies or achievements I have lol but it's okai! It's not like life is over . You're fine everything will be okai I promise you <3 you're special girl like everyone else..everyone deserves to be loved and cared for even yourself remember that always <3 you're overthinking

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>>25045561
>remember that there's always someone around to listen to you
>I'm there if you need me

>tfw I have to resort to a stranger from one of the shittier boards on an already shitty site

I feel down to the wire here, but thanks I think i will accept this helping hand

>>25045568
>girl

Are you addressing me that way in a flamboyant sort of fashion? I'm a guy just in case I came across otherwise

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>>25045575
kik/discord/snapchat/whatever?

I don't mind sharing my contact info. What would you prefer?

>>25045592
Snapchat: klatterell

>>25045592
Christ on Klendathu with his dinosaur army fighting spiders.

I bet you have a pretty butthole.

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>>25045606
I reckon I do. Last I checked it was a nice pink. Not the subject matter here though, anon. Props for making me giggle though.

>>25045561
like i get that but she is truly terrible
like
just the fucking worst person
i told him and he feels bad but and i know that i'm being shitty which makes me feel worse desu but i just
feel so awful about myself rn
i know i should learn to love myself and whatever but i just don't
i hate everything about myself and i don't know how to stop.

I guess one of my biggest disappointments in myself is that I don't travel.

I have the discretionary spending available to take a girl all over the world.

But I have no travel buddies. I know no women I get along with. And I hate traveling alone. So I haven't traveled in like 6 years.

I want to go to the geothermal springs of Iceland. I want to see the fortified churches of Slovenia. I want to spend a week in the Faroe Islands. And I could. And more.

But I have no one to do it with and the idea of doing it alone sounds even worse than never doing it.

It's even worse now that I haven't had a drink in 5 or so years. Alcohol used to be my friend. I could travel alone sometimes because alcohol was always there with a warm embrace. I could go to Hawaii by myself and still have fun, because I could get drunk by myself and watch the waves, watch the sunsets, go out to eat.

If I were to travel by myself now I would be truly alone, and the prospect does not entice me at all.

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>>25045641
Dude, trust me in that I understand that loving yourself is a struggle. Our generation of girls was raised with such a shitty standard of what we should be like. Britney Spears is a common example. She claimed she wanted to not be seen sexually, but in contrast often posed nude, or sang about sexual subject matters. She was constantly toned, constantly fit. Then she, no surprise, went fucking insane and shaved her head. The golden standard of girls for our generation cracked under the pressure.

I struggle with my appearance, and with perfection. I've trained myself to say less "sorry" and more "fuck you". I recommend you do the same. It really does help. It sorts out the people who treat you like shit.

I'm in love with my best friend pretty much since we met but she is straight.
I told her how I feel and she said it's ok but there will never be more than friendship.
I just can't stop loving her. I don't fall in love often, that's the 2nd time in total and I feel like my feelings are more extreme than what normal people experience.
I don't want to lose her as a friend but I also can't be happy like this.
I tried finding someone else to develop feelings for but nobody makes me feel like she does. It's like we are siblings.

This has been going on for a year now.
I wish I could find someone else to fall in love with and just continue to be a good friend. But nobody likes trans girls anyway. Im only a fetish.

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Got a 16 cm dick (6,3 inches) and it bothers me that I might not be enough, been doing exercises even though I'm sure it won't help.

On a long distance relationship and don't know if I'm being used, pretty sure I love her, just not sure if she's just using me since I'm a gullible bastard.

My best friend doesn't even bother talking to me anymore, even though I'm his best bro too, he's not bored or busy, just doesn't want to do things.

My cat doesn't love me back.

I'm also very poor.

>>25045679
I know what unrecquited love is like friendo, in fact thats the only kind of love I've ever known. I've always parted from them after the feelings come out, sorry you stuck around

>>25045695
Your dick is fine

>>25045695
Penetrative sex is not nearly as important as porn makes it out to be.

Look up "Nina Hartley Teaches How To Eat Pussy" (it's something like that, it's on a ton of porn sites). Let the old gilf teach you the proper ways of sucking clit.

And then, when you're with a girl, practice what you learned. Get the girl off. THEN fuck her. And she'll think you're a god. Cause believe it or not, most women NEVER cum from dick+vagina sex.

Learn to eat pussy and you'll be her king regardless of dick size. Dicks are nearly irrelevant when it comes to the female orgasm.

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>>25045647
I've always wanted to travel and see the world, but alas I'll never have the funds to do so. Opposite sides of the same coin, eh?

Do it anyway, is my advice. Immerse yourself in the culture, the history. You may find that a change of pace will help you learn about yourself as a person.

>>25045679
Trans girls are just girls, imo. I've fallen for trans girls only for them to be like "i only like guys". I'm like duuuuuude, sucks. But aight.

I understand how you feel to a certain extent. I've fallen for people that just arent interested and it always feels like they dismiss you so casually, you know? But I'm easy to fall, so it's different in my case.

My honest answer is to distance yourself from her. It will hurt, I'm not going to lie. But you have to know that it's for your own good. I hate comparing it to this, but when I was younger, I was big into raves, and I got into party drugs like E. I quit, but going to a rave just made me super unhappy because I couldn't get high and lose myself in that bliss. So I quit going to raves. The desire dulled over time, and now I can Melbourne Shuffle to my hearts content without even wanting to look at a pill.

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I hate my social life. I'm 22 and I've been deprived of social interaction from middle school onward, so needless to say I'm way behind. No friends, no girlfriend. My life is school and work.

I recently found a group of people online that I thought I really connected with. We even made a podcast together. But lately I feel like I'm invisible. I'm never invited to do anything, and I'm always the last person to find out about things. No one wants to connect one-on-one like other people in the group have either. This is turning out to be just like every other group I've tried to fit in with.

It kills me to do it, but I'm planning on disappearing from the group and continuing my solitary life. I have to get out before they get tired of me and throw me out, so I can at least save a little face.

>>25045706
>>25045711
Will do, thanks for the advices, will also watch the vid.

>>25045679
Don't be like that, I think trans girls are hot too, but regarding your friend, you should probably just walk away, I've been in this situation with a coworker and the pain just doesn't go away, I'm sorry, moving on is difficult, but you have to do it to be happy.

My first love died. It was one sided, he didn't feel the same at all, but I was fine with being friends. He started dating someone and I moved away, but we kept in touch on facebook. I was happy for him albeit a little sad. I loved him, so his happiness outweighed my sadness. They merged their facebook pages and I didn't make the cut. We still had some mutual friends so I still got the occasional update about them. He seemed really happy, so I was happy for him. I moved back about a year ago, I heard through some friends they broke up and I thought about refriending him, but never did. Then they got back together and I thought it was better I didn't. I wish I would've fought more to stay friends with him because now he's gone. I loved him and I can't even remember the last time we spoke.

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>>25045695
Dick size doesn't matter, penetrative sex is not always good, get a bullet vibe for her clit, and doggystyle for deeper penetration and to hit the gspot.

For your LDR, if you are having doubts, follow your gut and ask her up front. She might get offended, but the truth is the most important thing around, my dude.

As a lonely motherfucker, this hits home. But social groups change and evolve over time. You and the other person grow as people and things change. It's normal. To say "meet new people" would be a shitty thing of me, but try to initiate contact with people. I know it's Scary and Bad [I have huge anxiety problems] but it's how friends are made.

Cats are assholes and they love us in their own way.

That really blows and I'm sorry. I used to be homeless and it was the worst time in my life.

>>25045723
Don't "save face" it's just gonna make you look like a martyr and overdramatic. Just talk to them upfront about it. Be like "look i feel excluded and i want to know why. if you dont want me around i get it, but lets not waste each other's time. you feel me?".

I run a discord server, but its what 4chan likes to refer to as a snowflake safe space so not sure if you'd be happy there.

>>25045748
I think talking about would just cause drama than it would if I just left. Every other time I've tried to "talk it out" with someone, I end up saying something stupid, and it blows up in my face even bigger than it would have if I had just left it alone.

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>>25045736
Loss can make you feel so hollow, can't it? You feel so strange, like a hunger almost. One you can't fix, no matter what you do to fill the void. All you can think about is THEM and THEIR voice and the way THEY smelled and THEIR laugh and it hits you like a ton of bricks at the worst times. I mentioned earlier that my mother died when I was a teenager. Its been 6 years, and I still dream about her. Its never epic, resolving shit. It's going to the grocery store, helping her reach things on the shelves since she was in a wheelchair. Explaining what kimchi is the first time we go to a Korean restaurant. I think about her smile, and the way she decided to fangirl over Dean in Supernatural and her god awful ringtone and it just.... aches. I didn't cry at her funeral. People thought I was cold, cruel. I just.... wasn't there, mentally.

The point is, if you carry with you the good times, even then you cannot lose who they are. You can dream of them, and it's like, for the moment you have there in sleep, that they're still there. The ache never really goes away, but it will fade over time.

>>25045748
Good advices, I'll take'em, thanks.

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>>25045748
In my experience bullet vibes are shit.

A Hitachi Magic Wand (now made by Vibratex) is the way to go, and I'll explain why.

First you get the girl to lay on her stomach, fully clothed. You use the Magic Wand on her back. It's crazy strong and gives an amazing back massage. You relieve all the tension in her body, get her totally relaxed. You let the Magic Wand wander in between her legs. When she's relaxed, comfortable, and excited, you move to phase 2.

You both get buck naked, and you go down on her. Suck her clit like a pro. Use the Magic Wand on her if your tongue gets sore. Make her cum. Then phase 3.

You get her on all fours, tell her to hold the Magic Wand against her clit, and go to pound town.

In this way the Magic Wand functions as the ice breaker, as well as the main course. No girl will turn down a genuinely good back massage, and it's really easy to segue from back massage to pussy massage.

Works every time.

I still have a crush on my friend even though they're with somebody.

>>25045699
>>25045715
>>25045732

I can't distance myself for several reasons.
She is my only friend and I am her only rl friend. We need each other.
She is also extremely unstable. If I left her I might kill her or make her fail her studies (maybe I'm just overestimating my importance tho). I won't let that happen.

I've walked away from a similar situation when I was 15 and it took me 3 years to get over it. So I might as well stick around and try to help her with her problems since I'm in big pain either way.

I honestly think the only way to get out of this is if I find someone else. But guys either drop me after I tell them what I am or they get über sexual.
Idk about dating girls because I mostly focused on guys since I transitioned with the exception for my friend. I'm generally confused.

Maybe I am just sadistic.

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>>25045788
As I have a vagina, I'll be taking my advice over yours. Hitachi is very intense, and not for everyone.

>>25045783
Just trying to help.

>>25045772
Fair enough. Do what makes you most comfortable.

>>25045794
I meant masochistic

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>>25045792
I recommend the distance route, but its really up to you.

>>25045794
>>25045804
I know what you meant, hon.

That's really unhealthy. When I was seeing a therapist, he told me this story about a man walking to a job interview. I'm gonna greenttext it because long.

>dude on the way to HUGE career break interview
>is stopped on bridge by a guy
>guys hands him a rope, goes hey hold onto this for a sec
>man 1 is like... uhhhhh okay?
>dude promptly ties other side around his waist, jumps off bridge
>literally wtf dude, ill save you hold on
>man 1 trying to haul man 2 up, but the asshole isnt helping at all
>man 1 stuck there holding onto Asshole Rope ruining his chance at a good life because Asshole down there is refusing to help save himself at all

In the end, you have to wonder how long you can hold onto unhealthy relationships before the toxicity of them ruins your life. I had to cut an ex out of my life. His mental illness caused him to say and do very hurtful things when he was upset. He never meant what he said, but that doesn't mean his words didn't hurt me. Finally, when I cut him out of my life, my anxiety and sadness went down. I miss him, and wonder how he's doing, but I know letting him back in will only cause more pain.

>>25045818
>the distance route
what does that mean?

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>>25045823
Distance yourself from them. You might have to explain to them why you need to, but it will help loosen the ties you have to them emotionally. It'll suck at first, but take this time to reflect on what you love about them, and what you can do to respect their relationship.

>>25045824
Honestly, I think I've already been doing that. It sucks because they're the best friend I have and the one that I share the most in common with

>>25045818
I can't do what you and others recommend but thank you for listening and taking your time.
talking in itself helped quite a bit.

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>>25045833
I'm sorry, in that case anon. I hope your journey ends in resolution.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm transgendered myself. I like to think I'm comfortable with myself, but I hate looking at myself. I'm not happy with how I look. Meanwhile, some of my best friends are trans and I somewhat identify with some characters who are trans.

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>>25046149
It's possible that you're just gender neutral or genderfluid. I know, I know, special snowflake blah blah blah, but these are real things that have been around for ages.

>>25045837
I'm glad I could help, even if I couldn't give sound advice.

>>25046156
Isn't there a way to visit your adoptive mom without spending all your funds? Find carpool rides and explain your situation and somebody will take you for just some gas and food money probably.

>>25046149
First you should ask yourself why you hate yourself, then make a decision, try the regular rout first, get some better looks, but it's like the other anon said, be careful though, going trans is a huge change, and people often regret it for not thinking it through, good luck anon.

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soon

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>>25046176
That's both really unsafe and also not an option for me because when I come back, I have to bring my cat with me.

>>25045788
As a girl who can't cum when there's too much intensity on my clit, I agree with >>25045796

Bullet vibe and teasing and nipple orgasms for me. If you overwork my clit, you won't be touching me for days.

>>25045788
as a normal girl who can only cum from strong vibrations on my clit, tfw i'll never get to sleep with you

>>25045711
>>25045732
that video is great and all but that particular technique doesn't work with every girl (me for instance) but it's a great start. As someone who both gives/receives cunnilingus, its more about paying attention to the woman and her reactions to what you're doing as opposed to a "tried and true" one technique

>>25045459

I've never been much for the whole 'i'll love you forever thing'. If I married someone and then their personality and work ethic and basically everything about them changes, then that fucking sucks.

and its just being around someone who is like how she used to be and developing a crush for the first time in year that has made me realize what a mistake marrying this woman so quickly was.

>>25047021
Never say never. Maybe you can be my travel buddy and I can take you to Iceland. Shall I give you my KIK or Snap?

>>25047021
>normal
>norms individuals' arousal preferences
Kek
Gtfo

Re-caught feelings for a girl who I'm compatible with/kinda reciprocates, but is currently into someone else (Predates me)/lives super far away.


I value having this person in my life/as a friend, and I don't want to lose them (They know I re-caught feelings), so I need to learn to combat these feelings.

Anyone have any advice?

I feel so depressed lately. I feel like a failure, a disappointment, completely alone. The only person I could talk to left me a month ago and I still can't deal with it. I find it hard to achieve my own goals because anxiety/depression gets in the way and I've been trying to meet new people but I don't know how to talk/flirt to them/keep them interested. I have slept with guys on the first meeting and regretted it.

I have thought about offing myself since I don't really feel like I'm much good to anyone anymore. The only times I feel slightly better are when I'm asleep or drunk.

Having a bit of trouble finding a cute femboy/sissy in my area to make my own.

feelsbadman

I'm in a desperate place for money and thinking about becoming a sex worker on the side for extra cash. Just for a year or so.

Overall, I'm stressed about not having money but being so busy with school and hating the typical 9-5 stupid job knowing I could make so much more with my body...

it sucks and part of me feels guilty. But the money is absolutely amazing and I need it for college. Especially when I start university later this year...

I need to vent somewhere because at 21 years old I feel like i just have not done much. I have always wanted to go to medical school but I'm scared for the future and I'm scared for school. I'm a psychology major but sometimes I just really doubt the future. Fuck Borderline Personality Disorder... :/ But I mean I am getting better. Made an appointment for a therapist again... I just need to get off my ass and do something meaningful

>>25048132
Escorting is pretty soul crushing. I've never heard of a girl that genuinely liked it. Oh they say they do. Just like porn stars say they love the life. But then 10 years later they write a 'tell all' book about all the horrible things they went through and how they had to consume mind boggling amounts of drugs just to keep from killing themselves.

>>25048169
yeah I totally understand. I have been thinking about doing this for years, and I have read books of all the dangers and everything. Thing is, I am very strong willed. Money is the motivation. The fact that I enjoy sex so much, and I goo crazy with having a long distance relationship. Idk, my boyfriend is okay with me doing it now because we both need the money to finally be able to live together. Since I have his support on this, it makes it a lot easier. But even without him, I already went through so much BS when I was a teen that I can handle what comes. I can easily be assertive and well, hopefully, keep myself out of danger. I plan on going through an agency and ofcourse if I end up not liking it, or I can't handle it emotionally I would definitely stop. I just think it is the smart money choice to be completely honest, and I love sex.

the jews keep flooding my nation with foreigners. The jew is the original foreigner and hence wishes to subdue ethnic nationalist possibilities in order to make his own position in our society more concrete and secure.

With every foreigner that he lets in is another vote that aids him in his goal to crush nationalism. I just can't take it anymore. It's fucked up.

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>>25048365

I really like crossdressing and I'm really comfy with my life, but My gf isn't gonna get it and I'm dreading moving in with her.

I fucking hate my housemates.

The thought of leaving uni is scary as shit because I can't stand the idea of moving home.

Long distance relationship got me so pent up that i feel like i could punch a truck to death.Today a girls ass distracted me for a solid 3 minutes and i almost fell of a ladder because of it.

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I'm recently divorced. Someone who was supposed to be my best friend took advantage of my emotional vulnerability during that time. He had a girlfriend but kept telling me he was going to leave her, because she mistreated him constantly. I sympathized with him. I went through the same things with my ex-husband. I fell for him hard. As soon as he got me to sleep with him, he conveniently patched things up with his girl. It broke my heart to absolute fucking pieces.
This happened the day before our new semester at grad school started. We had every single class together. I flunked every single class because I couldn't escape how devastated I felt.
I live alone and I'm not particularly good at making friends so I had no shoulder to cry on. He was my only friend, so he took that away too.
I tried some tinder dates. It basically ended up with me sleeping around a lot just so someone would talk to me.
I've been a bulimic for ten years and I was making solid progress with recovery but that's all down the toilet now (pun totally intended) because I'm back to eating my feelings and puking them back up.
Nobody asked why I stopped going to class. No one cares. It's just me and this bucket I keep around to puke in. I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself so I'll die slowly from this instead.

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>>25048450
The jew did this to you. They made sexual degeneracy so rampant that this is common.

Before men were held to a higher standard such as not having sex before marriage. Now it's just rampant individualism, perversion left unchecked and unguilted.

>>25048515
Jews don't give a shit about you anon, no one does.

I can't even afford pizza :(

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>>25048599
fuck.

too scared to confess to the guy I like cause I KNOW I'll get rejected because he has no interest in being in a ldr :'(

>>25048450
as someone who had a long term girlfriend leave as I was recovering from an eye disease that left me partially blind in one eye, as much as it sucks being left alone, don't let it destroy your life. It's cliché as fuck, but you really have to be strong for yourself. Try to keep yourself healthy as beating yourself up doesn't hurt anyone else but you. There's a lot of decent guys out there.

>>25048634
Long distance sucks.
but it did save me from being with a crazy whore so I'll take it as a gift from god. (and literal whore, she ended up screwing for cash after dropping out of high school)

>>25048599
r u girl

>>25048132
If you're iffy about it it's not for you. Solves short term issues and might be okay for awhile but if you're not mentally all in and okay with that life it'll fuck you over the rest of your life.
If you are really interested try selling some pics or a vid privately to an individual, or a very basic online cam. dip your toes in and see if you can be okay with it. You can still make good money without taking a dick.
also
Honestly unless you have a sure fire plan for post college, Uni might not be worth the expense. I went for Computer Programming ended up not working out and wasting money and time.

>>25044501
Who the fuck did it? I'll gut her. No one hurts my man.

>>25048132
Search for a sugar daddy

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>>25044431
Jesus fuck, I forgot how big of a crush I have on Wrench.

>>25048695
I'm a pre med student and I plan to be a psychiatrist. You'd be surprised how many medical students escort on the side :o

>>25048976
I guess I would.

I want to be independent but I'm not remotely intelligent at all to sustain myself. Because of my looks and personality I find committed relationships easily. I'm jelous of smart girls :( I feel like I can't be myself because my lifestyle depends on others.

I just cannot bring my self to ask my "Crush" for advice. Even though we are friends, and I really want her input her.

I just feel strange about asking for some reason... Even worse than just messaging her as a random friend

And I know that she probably will have valuable input as she is in a somewhat similar situation to me. And is in general a smart and tough girl.

I'm 25 years old and due to being an autistic retard (actually diagnosed) I have still never so much as made mutual eye contact with a girl let alone physical contact. I just want to die.

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Have qt3.14 locked down and very into me, enough for a stranger to be suspicious I was gaslighting or hypnotism- could probably talk her into killing herself levels of tunnel vision

What I thought were cute asian eyes actually closely resemble fetal alchohol syndrome epicanthal folds (pic related), mental faculties and depression issues plus her mother's history of alcoholism leads me to suspect I totally fell for a subtle sperg

Mad at myself for not noticing, mad at getting really invested in her. Mad at how invested she is in me, but whenever I look at her I can't help but imagine a dumb animal (She's way higher functioning than that, pretty sure 98% capacity of normal human) but still, I cant shake the feeling. Other than maybe being slightly retard she's 9/10, is it wrong to be hung up on something so trivial? Am I being too old fashioned?

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>>25044431
I'm not particularily upset, just feel like my life is moving in slow motion and I don't know where I'm going to end up.

I was a fuck up up until I turned 24 and decided to turn my life around. Lost over 150lbs from 330lbs to 180lbs (I'm 6ft 3in) and went back to school.

did 2 years at a Junior college and just transferred with a full scholarship to UC San Diego as a math major.

Just finished my second quarter here with a 3.78 GPA, but still alone. Feels like my roommates are the only people I hangout with, and I don't ever see myself meeting a girl.

I don't even know what I'm going to do with this math degree. I just feel really lost and lonely.

Im empty, i cant motivate myself to do any self improvement and i constantly seek out abusive relationships with older women.

I have no reason to feel like this, I have friends and family, but I cant stop it. I mean sure, some horrible shit happened to me, but I dont know why it makes me so fucking hollow.

Im trying to get myself to draw so I can at least get it out of me.

>>25049036
Independent isn't all it's cracked up to be.

It must be nice being a successful parasite.

>>25049438
You don't know where it's gong to end up. Don't sweat that, man. Get your degree. I had three girlfriends in freshman year and went dry the next three. Not by choice, I was just overthinking everything.

Went to graduate school, met my (eventual) wife, dropped out, got jobs, making six figures, raising our four kids. It'll be fine.

>>25047550
Bump

>>25045521
Well, you certainly are an ugly cunt when it comes to personality, that's for sure. People are allowed to find each other cute and just because you're buttmad you're a piece of shit doesn't give you the excuse to bash someone else. Please do kill yourself.

>>25045679
I was with a trans girl once and I just saw her how she asked to be seen. I mean for me it's about who you are and what you want to be that makes the difference.
My only thing was I'm not into sexual stuff at all.

>>25045788
Yeah, as other fem posters said, hitachis are only really good for power queens.
Plus I found a few bullet vibes that are legit strong. One was so good I squirted everywhere on setting 2. Shit was cash. Problem with most bullet vibes at least for me is they tend to be more superficial vibrations, while the one I found had more deep and intense vibrations. I know of two that are good but cheap, one for more shallow vibrations, one for deeper ones. Will post if you like.

>>25049409
You're being retarded as shit. Seriously. Unless she acts stupid, or is so dumb it affects things like conversation, then yeah, you're being retarded as hell.

Seasonal depression is hitting me hard. I feel less than human. Low self esteem, socially anxious to the point of screaming-out loud insanity. I'm lonely and my best friend has been dodging me. Got invited to a party by some people I met at the bar, felt super uncomfortable and barely talked. They all had such great stories and rich emotional lives. They talked about their feelings a lot and I felt uncomfortable sharimg mine with strangers. They invited me out today. I feel like they just pity me.

>>25049409
> leads me to suspect I totally fell for a subtle sperg

Well it works out then bc you are a complete sperg

>>25048982
I wouldn't

my boyfriend is falling in love with my best friend. He's going out tonight and told HER he was excited to talk to her when he got back in.

I am getting quite fed up when people ask me. Where I'am living and what i do know. I live in a house I own. And what do I do for a living. Well if I told you I wouldn't be able to own a fucking house of my own. All I can say is when you want to be left alone.......no one ever leaves you alone.

i'm not scared of never finding someone again

i'm scared of never being as into someone as i was with my last relationship

Been fucking escorts to try and fill the void you carved out of me. I don't ever come close to cumming and I feel nothing besides rather wanting to spend that money on you to at least get to actually meet you for once, to see your face and hear your voice in person.
I know it wont ever work out that way so I'm hoping I catch something so that being excluded from you has SOME sort of justification and make it easier to cope and so I die sooner so this hell csn finally be over.

I don't understand why this person is going to my favorite containment board and thread to see my updates. Sometimes I worry if he'll see something and think it's me when it's not. Thanks anonymity. I'm still protected I guess. At least he doesn't check /soc/ to my knowledge

>>25052419
Chill, brother.

>>25052748
Really? You can't fathom a reason as to why? You're pretty dumb then. Also I do check this shithole every now and then just for your updates, since you decided to ghost me for no reason. Brought it on yourself. Also you aren't protected.

>>25052419
Gross. I would have left you too if you wanted topurposefully catch something just because I wouldn't want to meet up for some reason (wouldn't be superficial, but like studies). By that logic, What would stop you from whoring so you could purposefully get herpes just to knowingly pass it onto me to keep me by your side? It's fucked

>>25052788
You don't even know me chill out dude

>>25052797
I know you too well, and I can tell when something hurts youuuuu.

>>25052798
You're full of shit. Nice b8 bro.

>>25052800
I'm really not, but plausible deniability definitely works in my favor in this situation. If she knew just how much I know she would no doubt freak out.

>>25052808
Cool story bro

>>25052812
I love to be doubted and disregarded as nothing, it helps me blend in unnoticed like a shadow.

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>>25052817

>>25052835
>le baseless ad hominem argument
How sad, you used to be better than such low card plays. I miss those days.

Hey /soc/ so I just wanted to vent, recently had a break up with my girl and its hard enough.
trying to get back out there and chat to girls but oml its not going well at all, none of them can hold a conversation and no matter what I try to do it always just goes boring, im not saying every girl I chat with MUST reply but when they say theyre down for a convo and just dont even try with their one word answers, ugh it annoys me.
I just want a girl who will hold a conversation and not leave after 5 minutes.

Outside relationship its been kinda lonely, nobody to hang out with generally and I currently have artists block, cant drawn or paint anything original.

ALSO quick question, does everyone hate Post Malone cause whenever I mention him I get instantly left behind?!?! like all conversation stops and the other person goes and lives in a bomb shelter.

Anyway thanks for this thread, its helped with typing all this crap out.

>>25052419
Maybe she has genital herpes and that's why she didn't want to meet you.

>>25049438
hey brother, don't worry, I think its dope that you are getting yourself a math degree, that's something I could only dream of getting :D
Meeting girls will come from just chating online and going out to pubs and bars, nothing other then that really, unless youre into mail order :)
maybe some of your mates could go out with you sometime and wingman for you?

>>25052903
Mail order would be best for someone like him, those girls are less entitled and damaged by turbulent western culture. They would be avle to appreciate him better and treat him better than some bar slag or some literal underage in some chatroom for literal children that he as a professional adult really has no business wasting his time in.
Probably a philippina girl would do best for him, but the options span a lot of globe.
Also why the fuck does someone have to have a guy or multiple guys accompanying them in order to be able to meet a "woman"? That sets off multiple red flags for both the potential "women" and also the faggot girlyboys who can't fucking go out on their own as a fucking man and be a fucking man in anoublic place. What a fucking disgrace. You fucking homos might as well just get in drag and start trapping like the bunch of sissyboy faggot fucks you are, flocking about like a bunch of fucking birds. That's literally bitch shit, shit only bitches do. Men are women and women are men. What a dysfunctional society.

>>25050438
Hey boo, I know what that feels like, it hella sucks but don't worry you'll make it through. Seasonal depression is shit but I know you have the will in you to continue and you'll be the better person for it!
I don't know you but in this thread we all love each other and respect each other. If you need someone to just chat with, then ill leave my kik here for you kik: ArthouseCollective
im male not female so soz if your thoughts were high for some pussy action lol
love you boo, feel better soon and my kik is open for chats :)

>>25052957
That's lame. How can you stand liking someone who is openly into someone else? Drop them. Sorry. It is for the best, in my opinion.

>>25049409
loooooooooool just ask her

>>25052950
its ok hunny, you get that anger out.

>>25052957
If you fight and kill your feels you will become someone else, and while that someone else may be what the apple of your eye WANTS you to be, you may not end up liking who you'll become. But since you value them over you, you submit to their desires instead of pursuing what you want despite their shittest of you. There isn't any good advice to give you because you won't follow it and you're going to get fucked up no matter what. Have fun.

>>25052988
>anger
>stating plain-faced facts
top projection, fellow sitemember!

>>25053000
My GF is a dumb cunt and I want to replace her.

>>25053000
no no I understand you're just putting your opinions forward, I appreciate them boo.
I apologies for saying it was anger when it wasn't, thats my bad hunny :)

>>25053003
As a man it is your duty to mould her into the bitch you want her to be. Men lead, women follow. And bitchbois who end uo wanting to get their boipucci fucked get led around bh the nose by women. If she drops out of the process of training her to be a proper bitch, then onto the next.
Back in the day it was simpler, since there really wasnt much of a thing as bitches and men and women got along since they adhered to their natural roles.

>>25053020
Sure. I live by this philosophy too. However, modern society has made it very difficult to train women long-term.

It's been my experience that you can mold bitches into what you want for a certain amount of time, but after that passes (maybe two years or so) they just revert into their base nature: cunts.

Women unfortunately are disposable. I have yet to meet one who doesn't eventually need to be NEXTed for consistently shit behavior, regardless of how much training I give them.

>>25044431
I had to hand in my "Dons" assignment 1 hour ago, did not do anything. feels bad

>>25052853
>>25052419
This question is open to you and all other anons:

If you met a girl online and got along great, but she told you she has herpes, would you drop her or nah

>asking for a friend

>>25053062
Random Anon here. I wouldn't smash her, but keep her as a good friend to spend time together.

>>25053044
Yeah, that's endtimes civilization for you. Just fuck bitches and ride the wave until it crashes. Stupid young sluts in need of financial stability and with daddy issues (e.g. all of them) will always be on your nuts as long as you're on you're feet so, only thing you can really do is take advantage, andbdo enough sifting in the dirt and maybe you'll find some gold, or a diamond, or a fucking unicorn, all 3 are equally probable.

Kekekek

New thing to vent about. None of you niggers give a fuck about me. Fuck off cunts.

>>25049090
Psychology is an unfalsifiabke pseudoscience and autism is a made up spook to shame the would-be intelligentsia into obscurity. Otherwise, as normally developed self-confident males they would become a threat to the elitist superstructure. Stop getting psyopped, read up on the DQN files and ascend from your self-imposed plight. The overwhelming majority of girls are not worth your time though so you should count your blessings, it's better than being hounded after by slags trying to use you for your money and your time.

>>25053083
>>25053044
girlfriend here.

he's mad because he has such a bad personality that he can't keep a girl around for longer than two years max.

he should go back to fucking randoms and hot girls as that seems to make him the happiest, but he needs someone to take care of him. unfortunately, he's just unbearable to live with in the long-term (or even the short-term -- i've been here about eight months). he offers decent financial stability but what's shitty is that the deal gets worse and worse as he gets a new girl.

>>25053062
i mean
herpes doesn't mean you can't have fun

>>25053283
Ignore this. She's got anorexia and freaked out today because she thinks she's "getting old" and all her clothes "look bad on her now." Tried to start some massive fight with me about it because I made some joking comment about some dumbass floofy dress she had on. Neurotic cunt did not used to behave this way when I teased/gamed her, now she flies off the handle at everything. Really terrible behavior. Can't wait to find a replacement.

>>25053289
>not getting a T H I C C motherly woman with childbearing hips
And there's your problem.

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>>25053294
>THICC
oh just kys for falling for this nigger meme

>>25053289
can you not tell people to just "ignore my posts" please? also it was much different when i didn't live with you. good luck on finding your replacement so i can finally leave.

>>25053283
>>25053289
Wow you two sound like the perfect fucking pair. I bet both of you complain about how stupid you or her are. But in reality both of you can't do any better
>dumbass
>neurotic
>cunt

Wew this sounds like a "crazy bitch of an ex" story all written all over it. You know you can't replace her because your just a crap person anon, you don't have to lie craig

>>25053294
Tbh I might next time. This girl started out okay but I made a stray comment about bellies and fitness one day and she fucking stopped eating for like three months and did a ton of cardio and started looking like a horrifying skellington.

Like most women, she has no ability to do the right things the right way. Everything has to be some ridiculous overreaction, god forbid you just eat large amounts of healthy food and work out, better literally fucking starve yourself.

>>25053303
Yeah it was different, you didn't act like a cunt every time I made a joke.

>>25053306
Eat shit, I've had hotter girls than her in the past. I could easily get another one.

>>25053288
I'm talking long term relationship

>>25053315
>>25053303
>same id
Fuck offffff

>>25053303
>buttmad osteoperosis sufferer mad about men potentially valuing naturally k-selective women over her r-deformed self
Checks out.
Enjoy the niggercock you'll invariably fall on after you "free" yourself from his financial umbrella.

>>25053306
i mean, he could find a girl from 4chan probably but he doesn't want to put in the effort, so he says. and i could easily get a beta boy to pay for all my shit but i'm very shy and haven't been in the dating pool since high school.

>>25053315
can you not.

>>25053321
yeah yeah i hear this from him daily. although i don't think black dudes will be attracted to me.

also idk if you're implying that i don't have a job or something, because i do.

>>25053318
well yeah of course, if i like their personality

>>25053336
You have nonblack skin? Darkies will be all over you because they're all desperate to BLEACHED.COM their geneology. While somehow still pretending to be black supremacists/black nationalists.

>>25053366
posting from phone because he blocked 4chan.

yes i'm white but i wouldn't fuck a black guy so...

>>25053315
Oh my god are you both in a different room flaming at eachother on the same IP

I hope thi isn't a ruse cause this is hilarious

>>25053328
Well if you don't have any confidence in yourself then those beta bois don't have anything to latch on to. And if you two got together from high school you should know HS relationships don't last unless he puts a baby in you and your forced to stay together.
Tell that faggot to watch what he says, he coming off as a fuckboi at the highest caliber. Or I'm getting trolled rn

>>25053428
Kill yourself, faggot.

>>25053516
right after you get cucked by your gf anon ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46wCq5xrxbY

My life won't be the same. I bury what was left of old self and will forever live as a mask.

What the fuck did I just read

>>25053062
I mean if she's honest about it I don't see the problem. If anything I respect the fact she was honest instead of just fucking you and possibly giving it to you without your knowledge. Herpes isn't as transmissible as you think, do some research before you make a decision senpai. I don't see why you would base how you handle this off of some random anons input without doing any actual research on herpes, how it affects people, how sex works with it, etc.

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I'm living with someone who I'm dating. But I'm no longer in love with them. They are FtM trans. They act too childish, and they cry over the stupidest stuff...They are 20 years old and they don't have their license. I had to move in with them and their folks since my room mates were getting a divorce...I hate it here and want to date an actual man.... For I belive that the female genitals turn me off.

I cant really enjoy alkohol anymore and it upsets me moderatly.

>>25054700
Sorry to hear that buddy... I rarely drink because I don't want to end up like my father.... An Alcoholic

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OP here. I was only halfway to seeing my mom when I was told she passed to her cancer. Still going to see her anyway. I regret not being able to say goodbye. Will do my best to respond to everyone, but I am gonna be 1k miles from home.

>>25054818
I'm sorry to hear. Sending happy thoughts

>>25052789
In order to leave me, you would have to had been with me in the first place. Which was never the case, and if it were ever the case, the situation would be entirely different. I wouldn't be purposefully getting anythingnto pass shit onto her you fucking retard can you pass a basic fucking literacy test? I'm trying to get shit to DIE.

>>25052853
Herpes isn't shit, I wouldn't give a fuck about it, but being completely abandoned like this fucks me up. She said she was clean anyways, which granted is dubious, and I know she will lie about something to try and save face, but lying about that and making up a bunch of other shit to try and justify her stance...let's just say it hasn't worked on me in the slightest.

>>25053062
Only in the case of this particular girl, would it not make a difference, anyone else I'd pass on and distance myself from like I do for everyone else.

>>25055013
>she said she was clean
Okay good so its not me then. Guilty conscience man.
Anyways seems prettt dramatic what youre doing. If you actually wanted to die just kill yourself or start doing heroine and od

>>25055455
While those 5s are compelling, I have no desire to do heroin and neither know anyone who knows anyone who has it. She loves the stuff though.

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>be me, 23, gay, white
>stuck in Georgia Bible belt where no gay groups exist with only a few scattered around
>even so, I am usually only attracted to straight men since the fags here are either too gay or don't take care of themselves
>tfw I get hit on by daddies/str8-bi guys a lot but they are 500+miles away

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I wish i was in a society that didn't think killing fuckers that wronged you was wrong like what the fuck its in the satanic bible for arceus's sake also why do people hate the death penalty realy and the fact I have to hide and live as a subhuman being because I have this desire for revenge is wrong punish those who treat others wrong damn it! kill the fucking pedos already for fucks sake! What the heck isn't the Punisher a hero? also for some reason people find masochists so weird and fringe it's not weird it's just different.

>>25055527
She sounds like scum. Stop being so pathetic.

>>25045524
Yeah I got that self loathing thing too I got a cat that ran out of the blue and made it my duty to protect and care for him that kept me from killing myself in high school I don't know what to tell you other then look for something to live for even if it does not make sense I pledged to not kill myself a few years ago and its hard to not think about it nowadays but my cat is still here so there is that too...

>>25055653
Yea that's what everyone says, including her, but here's the thing, my opinion is what matters. Give a fuck what anyone else thinks, they can catch a body if they ain't careful.

I found a pic of a girl I know from uni on /b/, where she's in a slutty open mouth pose with some cum on her, and I have no idea how to react, I mean the rumors about her are true now that I've seen this, but I'm not sure if I just fap to this a lot, look for more or approach her

A little over a week ago my fiance left me, leaving me completely beside myself in pain. I've been finding it hard to eat, sleep, and even smile without reminding myself of her. I've been crying and shaking randomly and there's a constant, lingering pain in my chest.

Everyone should have mandatory surgical heart-implants after birth. If you are in the fast lane on a road and you get passed 3 times consecutively your heart implant explodes.

Society would be in a much better place

For no explicable reason, my mental health has just been terrible lately. Saturday I literally could not leave my bed. Sunday was better but I only could sleep 1 hour last night and here I am up at 2:30am again because I can't sleep. I'm fucking exhausted and super anxious and feel like I'm dying. Fuck me.

>>25054694
there's some weird correlation between /soc/ and faggots and trannies. too many are here, and too many stories relating to them are here as well.

Wish Hitler won so this wasn't the case and everything was straight and wholesome.

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Been back living with my parents for a month now after 2 months on the street.
Last two years have been a horrible downward spiral.
>Dropped out of Uni
>Couldnt keep a job
>Lost my home
>Lost my 24k savings
>Lost all interest in any hobbies
>All my friends have cut contact
>Girlfriend and best friend left me when i became homeless
>overdosed and suffered a bad head injury
>Yadda yadda more shit

Last 6 months Ive been abusing a whole manner of different drugs. But my body seems pretty resiliant to giving up. Ive been clean of everything the last month and I fucking hate my life. I just dont see a point.
Doctors and Psychologists are fucking useless. I just keep explaining the same shit and they just whack me on antidepressants. They have no idea what to do with me.
I feel like I have autism or something. I just dont get this world or the people in it. I dont feel like i belong here.

I just want a friend. Someone I can connect with again. Someone who understands Im a complete fuck up weirdo but and will listen and talk and actually give a damn. I feel like im the only person who actually cares about other people more than myself and it makes me miserable.

I see the sadness in my parents eyes every time they look at me. Goddamnit i should just end it.

My friends always put me on some pedestal and always praised. They are never around to help me and then when they realize something is wrong with me it's when I'm on the brink of losing my shit. It feels so unfair, lately we've been hanging out as a group every Saturday night and it's supposed to be some kind of "Stress relief" for them. They talk about their problems over some Dungeons and Dragons. They all feel better after I give them advice and solutions. Then again when I complain I get told "Man up" and my problems are shoved aside because they think I'm some big man or something when I'm just as old as they are (18) so it pisses me off and this so called "Stress relief" get together leaves me stressed and sad. So this morning (3/21/17) I talked to them in a group chat on Facebook and when I told them that when I'm with them I don't feel happy they asked "How can we change to help you?" But the thing is they shouldn't have to change just for me. I wanted friends I can treat as equals. They treat me like their superior. So I'm left friendless after they told me to leave. I still have my brother and I can hang with him and his friends. But my roommate and my step brother are part of the group I hung out with.

I'm leaving for my work which is 8 and a half hours. I'll be back on then. I just really needed to vent and didn't know where. So here I am.

>>25058334
Seek help

>>25044431
Im definitely on the wrong board for this but.. I really want kids one day, a nice house a dog and a good wife who wants the same thing. How the fuck am i supposed to find something like that these days, seriously how? I dont want hookups, i don't want a harem of women, i just want to get old with a woman.

I dont care if i have to move countries i would rather have one person forever. Again i know i am posting on the wrong board for this but i have had enough one night stands to know this shit isn't for me.

>>25059332
I'm sorry for the rough times you've hit on anon, Everythings gonna be alright soon mate, is there anything you wanna talk about specifically?

I just don't want to do it anymore. It's too hard.

I'm only safe venting on fucking /soc/ now because someone I was never dating finds me on /adv/. Goddamnit.

Tbh I just want some fucking friends, i'd even settle for people just to talk to at this point. I go to a private christian school where everyone is uppity and rich, so no friends there, I work at a grocery store ran by narcisists, no friends there, and then I have like 2 friends i play Overwatch with occasionally.

Idfk, I just want some chill people to talk and shoot the shit with, you know? But even online on boards like this I can't get anyone to talk to me, lol. Alright /rantend

>>25061772
Do you have a steam? Tell me about yourself.

>>25061279

It sucks man, but our culture just doesn't support those kinds of relationships anymore. It still happens, but not as frequent. It seems more are interested in fleeting pleasure than the hard but satisfying ups and downs of a marriage

>>25061775

I will when my PC gets fixed. I built one with my dad but it was both of our first times. We booted it and the power came on, fans worked but nothing got outputted to the monitor, so we gave up and sent it in to his IT section at work.

Until we get it fixed, all I can use is the steam app lol. And I'm 17M, will be 18 in 9 months. 5'10 but kinda been having some growth spurts lately so i'm not sure if that's accurate anymore.

I love music, playing good, single player RPG's, and kicking ass in competitive Overwatch. Sorry for the wall of text mate. Hbu?

>>25061279
I found a relationship like that, so really, it's not hard. Only difference is no kids because I don't want them and am infertile.
>>25061776
I wouldn't say that. It's more people are lazy shits and are incapable of emotional intimacy and compassion and when they fail at actually giving a shit about people they get depressed and whine.

It sucks it can not take on an other house mates start to self destruction. But it is the sartest thing to do. When we have a house meeting then I will bring up the issue in front of everyone else to hopefully cripple in before he start drinking again. It just sucks that he has spent now 4-5 weeks on a fucking sofa everyday. Now he has money he is very forward and it make me unconformable. After working in addiction charities. But like I said can not do shit myself. Might as well bring it up in front of everyone. That way he will have no choice but to cut out his drinking and utter bullshit. Also not bothering with 99% of the people I know. I understand why. I have a house, my time of suffering has come to an end. And their is just beginning. But I'am more happier I'am calm and have handle these sorts of situations. But it is not fair on anyone else in the house. Period.

>>25061776
Kek you are so dumb. People fall in love and marry every single day. Plenty of people are living that lifestyle right now. Our culture is changing, which is what you are experiencing, but monogamy and love haven't changed

Ps not everyone is capable of monogamy and it is high time our society recognizes that. Fewer broken hearts fifteen years down the line when you can't stand the sight of the person you swore to never part

Posted in here a few days ago. The more time I spend at the bar, the more I start to realize most of my peers are also wrapped in a similar depression and are looking for support. They talk about how stressed and worthless they feel, obviously desperate for companionship.