Secret/Vent/Advice Thread

I am still feeling shitty from when my friend shot me down.

I finally came clean about how I felt for her, and simply got "Well I really appreciate your honesty. I'm just so focused on myself and what I'm doing with my life, I don't have the time to pursue anything with anyone"

I fucking woulda wished that she coulda been completely upfront with me. Instead still avoided saying "I only like you as a friend"

Some people who know the situation are saying that I have like a 30% chance of it working out in the long run... So.. Maybe she said it being completely sincere, but wanting to maybe do something down the line? Doubtful though, but one can hope?

Honestly, I think she is 100% sincere about it, given that I already knew she was heavily focusing on her own life.

Try not to worry Anon. I hope things get better for you

In order to fill a gaping hole in my LDR I've come to /soc/ (again) to sext people and try and find some way to curb the loneliness.
The problem is that the women I've been talking to are more interesting and more physically attractive than my girlfriend.
This is not helping with my long-term doubts about my relationship, and if anything is cementing my feelings towards breaking up with her.
Rather than being upset about it, it feels like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders and I am extremely conflicted.

>>25010051
>Honestly, I think she is 100% sincere about it, given that I already knew she was heavily focusing on her own life.
If this is the case then you have to give her the benefit of the doubt. If you truly have feelings for her, then you should only want the best for her life, on it's own. Not a life for her that's good only when it includes a romantic relationship with you.

>>25010081
>If this is the case then you have to give her the benefit of the doubt. If you truly have feelings for her, then you should only want the best for her life, on it's own. Not a life for her that's good only when it includes a romantic relationship with you.

Honestly, I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. And I really only want the best for her in life.

>>25010069
I'm just feeling a little shitty, but I do know that it will get better soon.

My best friend filmed himself raping his ex and threatened to release it online if she didn't give him ass when he wanted.

I knew this was going on and did nothing. I feel terrible, thinking of offing myself.

I am in a relationship but I fell for a very good friend of mine, who I think is far superior to my girlfriend, because my girlfriend does not work or go to college and sits at home doing nothing, while my friend is very intelligent, goes to university and shares more of the same interests.

I fap too much. I know I am annoying because I am always bitchy and use labels a lot..

>>25010092
Dude.
>>25010117
>my girlfriend does not work or go to college and sits at home doing nothing, while my friend is very intelligent, goes to university and shares more of the same interests.
Don't switch from one to another. Get the smart girl to come to you. If you go to her she will see you will be using her as rebound than actually want to be with her.
>My turn.
I'am happy I'm in a new place back in my home village. It is strange because after these past 3 years of brutal survival. Dealing with these people from my past seems alot easier now. But I'm not rushing to be social again and the smartest move I can do is get them to come to me. Not go to them. But I don't really care. It is just nice to be safe and secure for once.

>>25010297
Have you ever been in a situation where you involuntarily hurt someone?

It was a very complicated situation, and honestly I was scared.

I feel isolated and lonely from the lack of meaningful friendships I've made. I've been hanging out with a group of guys who were convenient for me to be around and I liked to be around them, but a lot of them are sort of separating into other circles and I've realised I've never made any actual connection with any of them and I don't know who to be around.
I like being around girls more, but I don't to be the gay best friend type.

>>25010092
Instead of "offing" yourself, atone. Maybe reach out to the ex. Make her life better somehow. Idk.

Also, get less rapey friends.

I'm horribly fetishistic, into all sort of weird stuff. Normal sex isn't quite interesting or enjoyable anymore, but it's hard to find similarly interested people who are compatible.

>>25010373
>honestly I was scared.
my guess this is the rape post. And all I can say is you did the right thing. Rape is a complicated issue that can drag you through shit you don't want to be involved in.

There is this girl, let's call her J. I met J 4 years ago, and I love her since like I never loved someone before. She had a boyfriend at this time, so I couldn't have her, but she told me she loves me, but we couldn't go out together because of the long distance. I think you can already guess I love her more than everything.

6 months ago, her boyfriend broke up with her. Obviously, I wanted her to become my girlfriend. She said again it wouldn't work out. But some days ago, I learnt she just put herself in a relationship with someone.

I don't know what to do. I don't have any interest in other girl (but I had some girlfriends without loving them), i don't even feel bad for her, I'm pretty happy for her, but I can't look at myself in a mirror : I wasn't good enough to make her happy even if I made so much progress to become someone better.

>>25010395
>I like being around girls more
Then be around girls but don't be an emotional bitch bag for them to dump on. Be straight with them and cut out the bullshit. This is how you can be friends with girls. If they come to you for a shoulder to cry on. Then you are the emotional bitch bag. But if you just give advice and tell them to leave you alone when you want to. Then girls/ woman will see you as friend rather than someone they can drag through the dirt with emotional bullshit and sexual leverage.

>>25010569
>>25010569
>I wasn't good enough to make her happy
Dude J just actually sees you as a true friend. And doesn't want to ruin anything. J respects you and doesn't want to lose you. If she starts a relationship with you. Then at some point both of you will lose each other and the emotional hole with get deeper and darker to get out.

>>25010578
You got me confused. I don't know what you're talking about. I flirt with girls and talk to them on a regular basis, but it's just that I feel generally pressured to be around men more than women. The thing I said about the gay best friend isn't to be taken too seriously, but someone who is always around girls competing for their attention in a non romantic way is annoying to look at.
What I'm getting at, I just generally feel more satisfied after having conversations with women because I think they are better at communicating ideas and provide some interesting insight whole at the same time being attractive and being able to openly show affection for them.
I just feel that a lot of the time male realationships can be very shallow, and that I haven't accomplished much with it, but I'm not generally looking to be around girls constantly. Just sort of looking for a human connection.

>>25010601
So, if I want to be in a relationship with her, I have to let her, I have to let her alone enough time to forget me a little?
I know it's better for us to stay friends, but I can't have a really relationship with another girl. I can't even cum with another girl than her.
I don't know what I should do, she's the only one I want a future with. Even if it's not forever, I want to feel happier than ever. I'm not the kind of man with many dreams or hopes, the only thing I want is making her happy.

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I secretly wish I could pretend to be a child online and have men creep on me. I don't know why I like it so much and I'm horrified by the desire to do it.

And I've done it before. No one suspected me at all.

>>25010501
Curious what you're into now.

>>25010648
With your real pic or just some random pic?

And they give you attention, it helps you with your self esteem, even if it's not really you.

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>>25010657
With my real pic, yeah. I look like a very young boy. Used to look even younger, I could pull off about 11 or 10. Now I could probably pass for 14.

I make these people think they're pedophiles though. I'd like to do it with someone who knows I'm not but will treat me like a kid.

>>25010670
I could desu. I have a big bro complex, so it could help.

If you're looking so young, you could trap yourself and I would make you my wife desu.

>>25010678
... kik?

Recently my female cousin called me to meet her and go out with her. She was in town to visit friends and I haven't seen her in over 1.5 years. So I agreed and went there with two of my friends.
We met her and and her friends and she was already kinda drunk but also very happy to see me. The entire night she came kinda close, a bit too close in a way. At one point her friend asked in which way we are related and after telling her that she's my cousin she looked a bit confused. She told me that my cousin told her that she thinks I'm super hot and that I would be hers for tonight. I laughed it off.
A few hours and quite a few drinks later we eventually been at a club. Talking my cousin and standing close to her she pulled me away from the others. I kinda knew what she was up to and told her to move a bit further into a darker corner. Immediately she kissed me and jammed her tongue down my throat. She got really into it and we probably made out for a minute or two. I somehow realised what happened, and somehow I didn't. At this point I was wasted. After realising what we were doing I stopped it and I can't fully remember what we did after. There are some fractions of us going back to her friends and that she wanted to go home with one of them (she was sleeping over at her friend's place).
I have no idea whether her friends saw us, or whether she left in shock about what she did. She was just gone at one point and I couldn't reach her on her phone anymore.
The next few days were quite awkward for me. She claimed that she was totally drunk and didn't hear her phone when I called her that night. I asked her to speak about what happened and she didn't seem very enthusiastic addressing the whole situation.
She kinda just said "well, I was super drunk and it just happened...I don't know what you'd like to talk about"
I mean I get that, yet I also feel that she was quite ashamed. On the other side I wonder whether I did something that made her not wanting to talk to me?!

>>25010092
If he released it he would be in prison, so...

>>25010685
uguuuh69

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>>25010614
> feel more satisfied after having conversations with women because I think they are better at communicating ideas and provide some interesting insight whole at the same time being attractive and being able to openly show affection for them.
Your choice man. I'm not paying for your funeral at the end of it. But I respect your decision regardless.

>>25010635
>I don't know what I should do, she's the only one I want a future with.
>the only thing I want is making her happy.
Then accept her as a friend and nothing more. That is what will make her happy. You will meet different people regardless so you never know what the future holds really. You could meet someone who will distract you from J and you will not notice. But like I said you never know who you will meet man.
>>25010648
>I secretly wish I could pretend to be a child online
Um......well.....I'm just going to go with the Not.My.Fucking.Problem. approach.
>>25010670
>I make these people think they're pedophiles though. I'd like to do it with someone who knows I'm not but will treat me like a kid.

Sounds like issues with not accepting progress and just want regression instead.

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>>25010690
>She told me that my cousin told her that she thinks I'm super hot and that I would be hers for tonight

She bear trapped the fuck out of you man. Dude. You have to carry on. Prepare for the worst if it comes. But you go to fight through the guilt. But yeah Bear trapped you hard.

>>25010719
what is the worst?

>>25010653
Lots of shit, I could start talking about fetishes I'm interested in for hours.

Big ones are Hucows, heavy petplay, feminization/sissification, insertions, egging/oviposition. D/s, chastity plus a lot of other miscellaneous stuff.

>>25010728
> At this point I was wasted. After realising what we were doing I stopped it and I can't fully remember what we did after. There are some fractions of us going back to her friends and that she wanted to go home with one of them (she was sleeping over at her friend's place).
I have no idea whether her friends saw us, or whether she left in shock about what she did. She was just gone at one point and I couldn't reach her on her phone anymore.

Probably some false rape allegations, maybe incest rumors start to surface without you knowing. Maybe your cousin will tell the rest of your family. That you initiated it all. Your cousin did say she wanted you. And jumped on you. But you know women they like to create drama. That is why i was saying prepare for the worst.

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>>25010752
> Hucows, heavy petplay, feminization/sissification, insertions, egging/oviposition. D/s, chastity plus a lot of other miscellaneous stuff.

Well it's a good thing we have all these boards to satisfy you buddy.

>>25010696
This wasn't in America. The girl's life would've been ruined.

>>25010780
>The girl's life would've been ruined.
Dude really like really as if the rape and video of the rape isn't bad enough to ruin a life.

>>25010092
>>25010092
Why add misery to misery?
You have the ability to help, do so and at least try to wipe the stain off of your soul.

>>25010796
>You have the ability to help, do so
Do not do this at all. You will only be seen as a person who let this happen. Not someone who helped but just stood by and let it happen. They will only see you as guilty by association. Because he was your best friend. Just leave it for now.

I want to kill myself, but I'm too chickenshit to go through with it. I don't have a driver's license, I live with my parents, I work at a shitty $7.25 per hour job where no one appreciates a single fucking thing I do there, and I accidentally made the one person who liked me uncomfortable by saying I love them.

I should have died a long time ago if I knew I was going to be like this when I was older. Nothing has gone right for me this year

>>25010874
Shit happens man. This is like the standard early mid life crisis of identity and purpose in the world. Just keep working no matter how shit it is. Open a savings account. Just focus on work. for now. That will keep you going even tho you might hate it with all your heart. If you could save throughout the year. It will help. That is all I got I do not know if your parents are willing to help you with advice on housing and stuff. And yeah shit happens when you say stuff like "I love You" but don't think too much into it. Even tho you probably are, just work it off. Things will smooth out.

>>25010888
>Nothing has gone right for me this year
We are 3 months in stop being a defeatist.

>>25010888
You can always change yourself. You can become a person that you can live with. You can find ways to love yourself. The year's not over, you still have time to turn things around.

I know that my life really means nothing. I'm not suicidal or even depressed about it, but really see no enthusiasm in life because of it.
I've lost the love that I had for my girlfriend and have started replacing her mentally with this chick that I have always been back and forth with. I don't feel bad about it, and the hardest part about it is finding a way to talk to her that my current gf won't find out about.

>>25010908
The year has only begun.

>>25010916
>I've lost the love that I had for my girlfriend and have started replacing her mentally with this chick that I have always been back and forth with. I don't feel bad about it, and the hardest part about it is finding a way to talk to her that my current gf won't find out about.

Leave both women and focus on finding something you will enjoy in life. Seriously going back and fourth from people and using them as your own personal emotional shoulder. Is not helping anyone. Cut both out and find what will make you happy first. Because you are heading for a 3 way instant kill here. Your girlfriend will find out about the other woman. She will start a war with the other woman. And in the end both woman you are talking to about being lost. Will give up on you leaving you emotionally dead. So save the hassle. Start researching what YOU enjoy and work out if you can make a career out of it. At least it will give you reassurance that you are pursing something that will give the joy you have lost in life in general man.

I'm unbelievably lonely. The friends I have might care about me but only ever in a secondary kinda way. None of them would be the type to wonder if anything bad happened to me, even if they'd be sad to hear that something had. It's a weird kind of limbo between being totally alone and swamped with people that makes things feel 10 times worse. It'd be nice just to have someone care about me for once.

>>25010926
It's not even like I lost the joy in my life, it was just never there. My career is already set, and I'm well on my way toward achieving my goals. The girl I've been back and forth with did the same thing with me that I'm doing with her, and we've been doing this dance for 10 years now.
I'm staying with my current girl because it's financially responsible for both of us to just stay together right now.
But this other girl makes me primal. Seriously she's my muse.

>>25010927
Life is the loneliest game you can play. Fortunately, workaholism reduces the amount of free lonely time you have to think about it, and gives you a purpose. And money.

>>25010943
> My career is already set, and I'm well on my way toward achieving my goals.
So you are just bored with life then.
>The girl I've been back and forth with did the same thing with me that I'm doing with her, and we've been doing this dance for 10 years now.

So i'm guessing back and fourth intense emotional passion that leaves you whole. But the very next day you are left with nothing because it is a forbidden passion. I'm only guessing.
>I'm staying with my current girl because it's financially responsible for both of us to just stay together right now.
Please say it is only rent you and your gf are paying and not a joint bank account. Because if you are worried about being kicked out. Or left broke. Then you are already going that way. Again my guess is you are bored and scared of a mundane routine. And what to live the life you only see as a preview on social media. You know when you see your friends selfieing at the top of a mountain.
>But this other girl makes me primal. Seriously she's my muse.
Best guess this "other girl" lives the life you want to live. And you are getting fed up and scared of being just another number in this world. Either way man you a playing a dangerous game without realizing it. The more you talk to the girl you know for 10 years. Yes you will be happy and feel to have purpose. But you have created a life with your gf that has some many consequences if she finds out. That you are ending up going to ruin everything you have built. I would say look at the massive pro/cons of these two women. Like the literal pros/cons of being with either and what you can lose and gain from them. Emotionally and financially.

>>25010908
suggestions like? I'm in the closet, I have Aspergers Syndrome. I've had people tell me I look good, but I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. Trust me, I want to love myself and just be happy for once, but I don't think it's going to happen

I started typing something then realized I am too ashamed to even let rando's from 4chan know about it......

>>25010927
Dude just work on yourself and sooner or later people will come to you who actually care. I'm guessing you have got to that point where you are comfortable being alone with yourself. But you actually just want to talk and see people more. Like I said the more you work on yourself the more you will have people coming to you who care. Than you going to them knowing they won't care

>>25010979
>I'm in the closet, I have Aspergers Syndrome.
Stop letting a diagnosis label you firstly. And start by improving yourself everyday. Like hygiene commit to a shower and a shave at least once a day. Hell two if you can't. Sort out your wardrobe as well. Next check out aftershaves and deodorants as well. That i all I got for know. The real challenge is adapting to the outside world i'm guessing.
>>25010982
Try us buddy.

>>25010991
>the more you work on yourself the more you will have people coming to you who care
Pull the other one.

>>25011002
ok, I shove buttplug's up my ass when I jerk off, Then after I finish I start cutting myself because of how disgusted I am and how angry I am that I do such gay shit as a man.

I also eat too much then try to cut of chunks of fatty skin because I am too weak to just eat less so I try to make it seem like I am in some way dealing with it.

>>25011007
what am I pulling?

I suffer from a severe case of retroactive jealousy and unbeknownst to my fiancee, it is slowly corrupting an otherwise healthy relationship. It's a very serious problem and I can't talk to anyone about it. She's made every effort possible to do away with her past because she hates it just as much as I do. However there are traces of it left scattered about the internet that i've seen... and she doesn't know that i've seen them because i can't bring myself to bring it up to her.

>>25010976
Spot on with forbidden passion man. We rent and have a joint account together, but the only money I put in that is for budgeted expenses.
I know that I could lose what I have with gf, but, with my overall attitude about life I just don't care. My interests are working, shooting, and riding. Everything else is just noise until the end.
Cool thing is, if I do end up with "muse" I know it will end, so why try anyway?
The damn circle of psychopathy is intense.

>>25011015
> I shove buttplug's up my ass when I jerk off, Then after I finish I start cutting myself because of how disgusted I am and how angry I am that I do such gay shit as a man.

Dude that is like the mot minor problem on this bored. Literally man. I'm guessing you are confused about your sexuality. Your emotions are out of control too so there is obvious trauma somewhere there as well.
>I also eat too much then try to cut of chunks of fatty skin because I am too weak to just eat less so I try to make it seem like I am in some way dealing with it.
I think you have to stop using social media too. because there are signs that you hate being fat and maybe gay in your mind. So you are punishing yourself in extreme circumstances to make it feel better. You might have to bite the bullet and talk to someone about the cutting mainly. Keep the butt plug thing to yourself and only yourself. Trust me that shit has to stay in your head. The cutting tho you are going to have to talk to someone before they come to talk to you. In concern of your welfare.

>>25011015
I'd just like to say...
Finding men sexually attractive is gay.
Wanting things in your ass is not gay.
Unless those things are men's dicks.

Went on a mini vacation. Debating on just moving out there now and leaving this shithole behind. Not sure if i want anyone to go with me. Have a gf i guess now we take care of each other. But shes got 3 kids and getting ready to go thru a divorce. Kids dont live with us. She's thinking Im going to leave her and I dont even feel bad about it. Im confused as fuck

>>25011015
My girlfriend rims me when we fuck and has even put stuff in there and i like it. I'm very far from gay. Your prostate is in there and it feels good. It's natural.

>>25011032
I would rather work on not being such a degenerate rather than just stop punishing myself and accept being so repulsive.....

>>25011022
>However there are traces of it left scattered about the internet that i've seen...
Dude you are going to have to address it sooner or later. My guess either videos or pictures of your fiancee are scattered on the internet like 99% of the world. And you are being reminded of it by friends and such being dickheads and mentioning it or hinting at it. Best thing to do is get rid of these people who are bringing up the past. You can not get rid of what has been done. But you can get rid of the people that remind you of it. That is all I got.
>>25011023
> We rent and have a joint account together, but the only money I put in that is for budgeted expenses.
I would have a back up account just in case. You never now what your gf or woman are like. They are ninjas when it comes to other woman and information.
>I know that I could lose what I have with gf, but, with my overall attitude about life I just don't care.
I understand you just could not give fuck anymore. But you will if it all falls apart. Not with your gf but the way it will be left. Hence why I said just in case shit hits the fan.
>Cool thing is, if I do end up with "muse" I know it will end, so why try anyway?
Okay all i can say it tread carefully the more you talk or spend time with the muse. The more your gf will hunt you down and demand what is actually going on. Best case I would say is as long as it isn't obvious and you and the muse are careful. Then have fun. But defiantly make preparations just in case your gf does find out. Joint account and tenancies are a dangerous bridge to cross. And women are merciless more than ever these days.

>>25011033
>sexually attractive
Dude look where you are. 4chan is the pick n mix of sexually attractive.
>>25011040
>My girlfriend rims me when we fuck and has even put stuff in there
Each to their own man each to their own.
>>25011034
> Im confused as fuck
Dude just leave the shit hole, leave the gf with 3 fucking kids and be fucking free. Otherwise you will be the next one paying for those 3 kids that aren't even your own.
>>25011045
>I would rather work on not being such a degenerate
Again look where you are man. And stop being so hard on yourself Jesus man. So you cut yourself and put things in your butt it is not as bad you it seems. Just saying.

The only reason I'm still with my gf is so that I can see what it's like to cheat on her.

>>25010051
>Honestly, I think she is 100% sincere about it, given that I already knew she was heavily focusing on her own life.

If Leonardo Dicaprio walked into her life, would she be "too focused on myself" to get with him?

Start looking to date someone else. If there's any chance, she will get jealous and make a move. If not, you need to move on any way.

>>25011080
>The only reason I'm still with my gf is so that I can see what it's like to cheat on her.
Then she isn't or will not be your gf in the end then. If you are prepared for the damage you will do. Then have fun being a lesson to be learned by your future ex gf.

>>25011085
agreed.

>>25011089
I don't even think I'll tell her. It's not about that. I want to know that I'm still good enough to get the girls I want before I leave.

>>25011059
You are correct about the pictures on the internet but there are no friends that are reminding me of it. The demons are all inside my own head. And only I can choose to move on. Problem is I have several types of OCD. and retroactive jealousy is one of them. It's a compulsion and i can't help but think about it. and there are so many triggers. one being the fact that we fuck and sleep in the same bed that a lot of this shit went down in. and she still wears clothes that she has on in a lot of the pics that are floating around the internet. wish she could delete that shit... but it's mostly stuff that got reblogged from her old tumblr account before she deleted it. so it's permanently there. Sucks ass. Anyway. thanks for the advice. It's good to know that at least someone has some kind of positive input. Sorry for such a long response. Venting.

>>25011085
>>25011092
I wasn't planning on waiting around for her. I was gonna go do my own thing, while keeping her as a friend.

Maybe down the line shit will happen, but I am not counting on it. Though, I would probably go right back to her if it did

>>25011072
Thats just it. Odds are I wont have to since shes more then likely getting alimony. I just feel like a piece of shit though being one whos going to break her as well

>>25011120
I should mention that she always seemed to have some interest in me. This was from before we even started talking and became "friends"

I'm in love with multiple people. I have a boyfriend that I love and never want to leave but I also am in love with my best friend who lives in another country. I have never told anyone even my best friend. He may love me too but I don't know. We talk every day all the time and my boyfriend knows about it but not my feelings. I feel selfish for wanting them both.

>>25011105
>I don't even think I'll tell her. It's not about that.
She will find out regardless.
> I want to know that I'm still good enough to get the girls I want before I leave.

All the girls you want. Will not want you. Because there will be a chain effect. Once a girl finds out you cheated. They will inform others through social media and the chain will come back to you. So all the decent girls will avoid you and all the ones that want to use you will come rushing towards you. But good luck anyway.
>>25011116
> one being the fact that we fuck and sleep in the same bed that a lot of this shit went down in. and she still wears clothes that she has on in a lot of the pics that are floating around the internet.
Dude this is going to be hard but remind yourself everyday why you love her. Yes this sounds like utter bullshit. But the more you notice things that you enjoy about her and want to be with her. The fight will be taken towards a positive victory in your head. I have the same kind of thing but mine is more to violence and death to make people understand my pain. But every time I'm back to normal thinking. I thank myself that it is just staying in my head. But for you just doing it little by little of why you love her for her. And how her positives she brings helps. It will slowly fade the negative impulses that seem real to you but aren't. I can understand tho where you are coming from. But i'am glad you understand it is a battle in your head. Just keep reminding yourself on the positives she has brought so far into your life.
>>25011120
> I was gonna go do my own thing, while keeping her as a friend.
Do this.
>Maybe down the line shit will happen, but I am not counting on it. Though, I would probably go right back to her if it did
Just don't expect it and it will either happen or not. But either way doing your own thing will help alot. Good luck.

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My friends all think I'm the most cheerful, happy person in the world but I just hit the fuck out of my own face in a public place until I bruised, started bawling with everyone looking at me because my family told me they didn't want to deal with my sad act, and walked 3 miles home in the cold by the highway because i didn't want them to have to drive me. I have decided not to eat dinner. My head is killing me and the medicine is in the bathroom but I don't want anyone to see me.

>>25011138
>I just feel like a piece of shit though being one whos going to break her as well
Dude she will be fine literally fucking fine. I would be more concerned at why you want to be with someone who has 3 kids and a divorce. And not be worried she will break you down as well. Sometimes it helps to look after yourself instead of others.
>>25011146
She has an interest which is nice. But maybe she is curious to see what you can achieve in your life.
>>25011160
>I'm in love with multiple people. I have a boyfriend that I love and never want to leave
> I feel selfish for wanting them both.
You can not have both regardless. Maybe you have switched the roles. Your emotionally connected to your best friend instead of your boyfriend. And you are scared that you could either lose both. Or lose something more from either one that you can not recover back. Like I said I'am only guessing.

>>25011162
>Just don't expect it and it will either happen or not. But either way doing your own thing will help alot. Good luck.

Like I said, I'm not expecting anything to happen. But how she said it doesn't cancel out the chance. Also seeing how she always seemed to have some interest in me with the Staring, Random Smiling, 10hr texts, showing up next to me, and seemingly trying to mildly impress me

>>25011179
> but I just hit the fuck out of my own face in a public place until I bruised, started bawling with everyone looking at me because my family told me they didn't want to deal with my sad act, and walked 3 miles home in the cold by the highway because i didn't want them to have to drive me. I have decided not to eat dinner. My head is killing me and the medicine is in the bathroom but I don't want anyone to see me.

Dude. I'm just going to say it. Extreme Bipolar. Like extreme. You have to get help. Regardless of parents and shit. Because you could hurt someone very badly without even realize you are doing it.

>>25011197
I know. I just don't want to be a bother to anyone. I don't want anyone to have to deal with me. I feel awful for making people see me like that. I would have thrown myself into traffic if I didn't worry about traumatizing whoever ran me over.

>>25011193
>seeing how she always seemed to have some interest in me with the Staring, Random Smiling, 10hr texts, showing up next to me, and seemingly trying to mildly impress me

Dude just do your own thing. She will even come around to you or not. But if she is showing you these signs. Maybe she is taking it slow and steady. Because she is scared if you both were in a relationship. That she could lose you as not only a friend but as a person, a human being. And since your connection is deep. She is just waiting for her to be comfortable within herself. I do not know. But keep doing your own thing. She has said there might be a chance. So best to let that chance be a surprise than waiting or expecting it.

I have been depressed for years and finally came off my medication, then me and my ex broke up but I handled it fine, but after that I met someone else and she sort of lead me on a lot and seriously hurt me, and I feel like nobody likes me or wants to be my friend except for the few people I have, and am scared I'm falling back to where I was a couple years ago when I was very suicidal. I don't want to go on medication again. It makes me feel weak and i hate pills because I have a throat condition. Idk what's wrong with me.

>>25011197
also I've never put my hands on anyone before. just myself. I tend to bash my head and face into walls when I feel bad.I accidentally did it to the bath liner and cracked it a tiny bit, now my grandmom says it'll cost $5000 to repair and if I feel like doing that again, I should go find a piece of wood so I don't destroy her house before she dies.

>>25010050
When I was a kid, I used to catch lizards pokemon-style on summers.

Then, when I brought them home, I used to put them to sleep by forcing them to breath air duster.

Then I dissequed them to extract their beatting hearts.
The blood on my fingers used to get me the harder bonner ever.

The rest was mostly eaten by my cat.

>>25011205
>I just don't want to be a bother to anyone. I don't want anyone to have to deal with me.
Stop thinking you are a burden or going to be a burden to someone else. Yeah seek help but also try slowly to let people in. I'm a stubborn bastard myself but I do have to suck it up and ask for help sometimes. It doesn't make you weak or vulnerable. It makes you strong and comfortable. It is very fucking hard. I know myself from getting rid of 99% of people in my life. But when I'm out I always stand by Be polite, Behave and Be neutral.I always just try and behave and neutral. But I do understand it is hard to let people in.

>>25011228
I don't see how I'm not a burden. My veteran fiance is homeless because I couldn't provide him a home. My grandmother is taking care of me of her own free will and I just keep taking things from her when she offers, which is all the time, barely a point to me paying her rent. every time I ask friends to talk or hang out they're busy and I don't want to bother them.

Now I feel like I'm annoying people just by trying to talk about my problems

>>25011208
True, I'll do my own thing, and won't wait on her.

She's always been an odd girl though.

Over the summer I falsely accused her of lying about something. I ended up apologizing to her a month later. She seemed to accept it with out any issues or hesitation.

So, maybe she is just taking it slowly.

Though I will face a major predicament if I am dating someone else and she comes around....

>"And since your connection is deep"
What you mean here?

>>25011216
Maybe channel this destructive behavior through marital arts. Or a punching bag. You seem more scared to open up and avoid it with the most extreme circumstances. Like breaking shit. I'm going to suggest maybe either talking to someone in confidence, writing down what is wrong. And showing the person what you wrote. Or hell hiking in the woods. That is all I have got right now. But yeah you need to channel your problems into words, music or anything that breaking shit. Hell if you got a job being a person who demolishes of buildings that might help you vent and you get paid at the same time.

>>25011220
Maybe looking into being a surgeon or taxidermist would help you get harder at the challenges of more complicated procedures of taking apart things or people or animals.

>>25011191
Always trying to fix the broken ones. I was married before and we're best friends now. She won't break me.

>>25011247
it's easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain. I think that's why i do it.

also I'm a tranny, they won't pay me in construction or any manual labor job.

i guess i'll try the other ones

I just found out today that I was awarded a grant to fund a pilot program for teens where I work. I wish I could talk to the one person who would be the most excited for me about it. I'm sure he'd get a huge smile on his face and dive into researching all of the ways I can use the equipment to plan projects for the program.

I miss you, Anthony.

I routinely masturbate to the idea of guys fucking my little sister.

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>>25011233
>My veteran fiance is homeless because I couldn't provide him a home.
IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Sorry for the cap. But your grandmother is right taking you in. Because she does not want to see you homeless as well. It is not your fault this has happened to you fiance. There are plenty of things he can do himself to recover. You must have been guilt tripped hard by your fiance situation to make you feel this way. Look you are the most important person to yourself and your family.
>every time I ask friends to talk or hang out they're busy and I don't want to bother them.
No they just can't do anymore to help or support your friends DO CARE ABOUT YOU. But they can not stand to watch you deteriorate into this break down of destruction. They best thing you can do right now. is listen to positive music and spend time helping your grand mother. yes slowly because it sounds like you are erratic and frantic. So maybe seek help from a doctor and such. But for now clam music that can calm you down. Your fiancee yes he is homeless but there must be support services he can go to regardless to help him. But maybe you haven't realized your grand mother is the last in the line of people that would give their life to not have you end up on the streets. But yeah just calm down listen to calm music for now.
>>25011243
>Though I will face a major predicament if I am dating someone else and she comes around....
Different times in life can repeat the same circumstances in a different light. But that the risk you have to take. And it just seems you both have alot of positive history and that is how you have come to this predicament. Where you miss out on each other but can still be around each other regardless of whether you are both dating other people of not.
>Myself
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtMVSzV1IG8
I'm going to bed. Good night and good luck to everyone. Will check up tomorrow on this. Also this band literally saved my life. I hope it helps others

>>25010943
>But this other girl makes me primal. Seriously she's my muse.

Once you get into a relationship with this girl, you will lose the spark and become "primal" with another girl. It's the nature of relationships. Sorry to burst your bubble.

>>25011247
I used to think it'd be nice to be a forensic pathologist, but back then in HS I did some research about the studies to follow.

It turns out my country offers the worst medical studies in the whole continent ( to the point we're forced to ask foreign medics because native mostly don't make it).

So, yes, whenever my bloodlust is rising up, I play violent games, make screenshots of the worst gameplays possible and bitch around internet forums by disgusting kids with them and stuff.

Yes, I am trash. I'm not sure if I was fucked from the begining but my bloodlust and général darkness did not appear without reason.

>>25011280
Good night.

But Eh, unknown about the positive history, as I kinda started falling for her before we became friends. Though she has pushed me to become an EMT and what not. So maybe?

I suppose I have a better chance of a positive ending here than most others who have had a similar message?

I miss my ex.

We haven't spoken since last June, but we were together for about six years. Even lived together for about 4 years.

Kind of sucks losing someone you've been that close to your entire adult life. I really haven't even begun to move on. I was totally devastated when we broke up.

>>25011314
Its rough anon. I remember when my wife moved out all of a sudden and it devastated me. Maybe a change of scenery will help. Just even going to a park helps or moving to another area of town.

>>25011323
I moved back to my hometown after that. She moved to a different state altogether.

Her birthday is coming up and I'm thinking about breaking the silence, but I know it really won't do me any good.

>>25011314
Be strong, anon. <3

>>25011162
Thank you anon. I really appreciate the positive words. And I wish you the best of luck with your personal demons as well. We all have them. Just different kinds.

Why....why would you lie to me....why would you even pretend to still love me...I swear when I have the balls to confront you, it will end. Either our relationship or the lying. I'm over it.

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>>25010874
Can't put your self worth in the hands of other people anon
>you're gonna have a bad time.
Just work on NEVER letting YOURSELF down.
and when you do,find the lesson and move on...

I'm in a long distance relationship. Since the beginning of this year, I have spent over 2,000 dollars on plane tickets to visit the person I'm dating. I make significantly less money than this person. Not once has help been offered to me. I'm starting to grow extremely resentful but I feel uncomfortable bringing up the subject of money.

>>25010051
Why feel shitty when you are on here sexting people. Plus your options seem pretty better considering they have more interesting and physically attractive. So where's the conflict anon? Do you and be happy. Loneliness is temporary. Why did you keep her around?

>>25011376
LMAO I did this for awhile. It's seriously not worth it.

Hold out and don't buy anymore tickets until the person offers to buy one. Be strong, don't waste your money.

>>25011213
Just to add to this, I'm so behind in my schooling I feel like an absolute piece of shit who has let everyone down. Just so much wrong in my life and I feel genuinely unlikable. I don't know why I'm here sometimes.

>>25011376
LDRs are very taxing and sometimes they pay off. I'm an example. Was in a LDR for 8 months and spent about the same as you in plane tickets and hotel stay. Eventually moved across the country to be with said person and here I am. One of the best decisions I've made despite it leading to the turmoil of retroactive jealousy that i mentioned in my previous posts. That being said... My situation was different however, because though I spent most of the money in the beginning, because i was the only one employed at the time due to her just graduating college. She started meeting me in the middle with funds as soon as she got a job. If the other person isn't willing to help make the relationship work financially when they have the means then it shows a lack of caring on their part. If they have no job then it's understandable. But seeing as they make more money than you do, they should at least help. Pay for half of airfare or pay for hotel costs... at least something. Try casually bringing it up in a conversation without being demanding. "Man it sure would be a lot easier for us to see each other if i just had a little help from somebody." "All this airfare sure is getting expensive." etc. Just kind of a hint hint. And if the person just blatantly ignores you. Then it can only mean you aren't worth as much to them as they might claim. And your investments could be better spent elsewhere. Just my thoughts.

Fuck all of the stupid nights I stayed up late to stop you from panicking. Fuck all of the days I spent taking care of you instead of getting the right education. Fuck you for fucking all those other girls behind my back while I was taking care of your family after your mother had just passed. Fuck you for begging me to stay when I knew it would be better to go. Fuck you for using suicide attempts to keep me from leaving. Fuck you for taking my virginity while I was drunk. Fuck you for lying and making your family look shittier than they are. Fuck you for lying about your dad going into hospital in order to stand me up. most of fucking all... Fuck you for knocking me up! Fuck you for abandoning me with her! FUCK YOU FOR PUSHING ME FOR AN ABORTION! FUCK YOU FOR MAKING EVERYONE IN YOUR FAMILY BELIEVE I FAKED IT AFTER I GOT THE ABORTION! FUCK YOU FOR BREAKING THOSE PROMISES. FUCK YOU FOR PICKING ME UP FROM HOSPITAL AND USING MY DELICATE STATE TO GET ME BACK. Fuck you for not being at fault... fuck all the things that happened to you and to us. I just hate the fact that you left all over again... The fact that you aren't here. The mornings of still turning next to me to say good-morning even after a year. Fuck you for letting me fall in love with you... I honestly wish you get what you deserve. I hope you don't fuck her over too. I will learn from all of my mistakes but after all of this, I'll never wish I never met you. I just wish we met at a different time.

>>25010092
Get it off your heart and mind. You may be surprised of the outcome. We all do things that we wish we wouldon't have done. The fact you feel bad about it shows you do have a heart and you do care. Hopefully that will be perceived if you decide to speak upon it >>25010796

>>25011405
>Try casually bringing it up in a conversation without being demanding. "Man it sure would be a lot easier for us to see each other if i just had a little help from somebody." "All this airfare sure is getting expensive." etc.
That sounds passive aggressive. Either be upfront about it or hold out.

>>25011376
Bring it up. That's pretty ridiculous.

>>25011417
Sounds like you got rid of a really toxic part of your life. Good for you. I'm sorry you took so much shit from someone who sounds so terrible. But love is probably the most illogical thing in the world. That sounds like a terrible situation. But you are better off without him obv. Just remember. Because somebody else doesn't choose to acknowledge your value, it doesn't make you any less valuable. I wish you the best of luck anon. Also... The worst part seems to be over for you. Best thing you can do now is move onto the bigger and better things that you clearly deserve.

>>25011417
This makes me really sad for multiple reasons.

1. I dated someone when I was suicidal and I hate the idea that they may have felt like they had to be with me because of it
2. I am easily manipulated because I just want people to like me, I apologize a lot and I'm easily taken advantage of.
3. Because of this I'n so good to people I date that it upsets me that there are people who make the ones they are dating feel like shit.

I'm sorry for your struggles, anon. I hope you get over them. You almost made me cry and I can't really cry anymore haha

>>25011431
thanks anon... it's just the trauma of the whole situation. As the relationship started while I was very young (15) It made me completely unreasonable to any new partners as I had only had experience with that one relationship and often isolated myself from receiving any love. Not even from my family. I can't. Sorry to involve you.

>>25011426
You may be right. But sometimes it's just better to test the waters to see how a person will react. Then if they can't catch a hint be straightforward and say it how it is. Some people are a little more straightforward though, and that honestly is the best approach. I was just taking anon's reluctance to talk about money into consideration.

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>have regular casual sex with this girl
>her boyfriend is literally into cuckolding and we send vids to him and stuff
>start to actually have genuine, emotion and shit feelings for the girl
>"Haha sorry anon, but I really like my boyfriend. We can still bang though."
I know half the responses will be "lol cuck" or something to that effect but whatever. Fuckin shoot me pls

>>25011440
aww I'm so sorry. If it makes you feel better, I didn't stay with him just because of his depression, I really care about him and I still am worried for him so maybe the person you dated genuinely loved you in a form. I hope you are okay.

>>25011444
Don't apologize. You didn't involve me in anything. My life is fine. And yours can be too now that you got rid of that cancerous trash that plagued you for so long. I'm happy to help.

>>25011397
I will do this. Thank you.

>>25011405
Just read your posts. Your girlfriend and I have similar pasts. Your feelings are going to continue eating away at you if you don't bring it up with her. I know bringing it up with her won't fix anything, but it will allow you to communicate with her and be open with your feelings. This is important. I'm rooting for you anon, be strong and don't let bottled up feelings destroy your relationship.
Thanks for hearing me out. I don't think he truly cares about me, which hurts.That's a different story though. I will take your advice.

>>25011450
She never loved me, but I like to think she enjoyed dating me at least. And yeah, as you can see from earlier posts in this thread, I'm having a hard time atm but I'm much better than a couple years ago when I was about to kill myself. One day at a time I guess.

>>25011447
That's intense. Good luck. There are plenty other fish in the sea !

>>25011447
I get it. I was in the same situation with the guy in my post. Honestly, this girl is not the right one. There are other's that will be like her and that is scary. I know no girl will be her or replace her at all. She will only hurt you. Either from leaving you for another guy (either cuck or someone else) or cheat on you constantly after she "chooses" you. It sounds exciting for that to be an option but it is destroying and sickening. I don't ever think I can be the same.

>>25011456
I just read it, So sorry anon. I am proud that you did your best. I am still a constant disappointment to my family from the constant amount of suicide attempts I do... It's not a healthy amount and I am on my last warning before I get sectioned because I freaked out at the thought of getting sectioned. I am so incredibly proud of what you have done. I honestly don't know where I will end up.

>>25011331
Thank you, anon. I'm trying.

>>25011447
I mean, he's the cuck. Just enjoy the free pussy. You shouldn't really be talking to her in an emotional way if she has a bf anyway. As someone with a cucky bf, I don't talk to the dudes I fuck in any real capacity.

>>25011445
Fair. I guess I'm assuming anon's SO is a dude and that dude's typically respect when someone is being straightforward. Using my own experiences as a reference. I kept buying tickets over and over again because I wanted to see my bf while he was able to hold out a bit longer but was happy to see me if I was willing to put out the money.

>>25011390
Eh, I keep her around as she is genuinely a good friend, and I like her even as just a friend. Thats why

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>>25011470
Except the dude is LDR type so I sleep there after. So inevitably I start feeling like this because I'm really just a huge, emotionally stunted bitch and any kind of closeness makes me feel like this.

>>25011455
I have brought it up to her in the past. At least parts of it. Except the stuff i've seen on the internet. And that's what bothers me the most. But i can't find a way to bring it up. Mainly because you can only find the stuff by typing in certain keywords(her old snapchat, old kik and old tumblr). keywords that i'm not supposed to know... But I got curious and saw she had left a book of contacts/etc in her drawer one day that it was open. Was curious... So I typed in one of the keywords into google one day and BAM there it was. Now I can't bring it up because I never would have found it if i hadn't been snooping and sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. It's my fault. Did it to myself.

>>25011468
Thank you, no one's really said they are proud of me for that before. That makes me pretty happy. Even though I'm at a low point atm, if this is the lowest I ever feel I will be satisfied with my life compared to how it used to be for me (crying several hours every single day).

Are you in any medication or do you do therapy? The biggest thing more than anything though is to keep people in your life. I wouldn't talk much to people but that only hurts you.

I recently made a friend who was suicidal but she just kept pushing me away. It really hurt, and it was very toxic and triggering my own depression so I had to end the friendship but I am very worried for her now and am afraid I made a mistake. Try to keep in touch with people. They will regret it if they don't talk to you and you die, trust me.

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>>25011482
Does the bf know you're sleeping over after? Shouldn't you be a sexy alpha chad and not a sad pussy? Are you two going on dates and stuff too?

I'd be worried if I was the bf omg...

>>25011493
i'm on medication that just makes me too lazy to get overly upset about shit or at least show it and therapy that is more focusing on things i don't want to talk about so no help.

>>25011514
Maybe try a different medication. Prozac for example made me sick as fuck and caused the room to spin but for others it works really well. Like I said though the most important thing is to talk to the people that are in your life even if there aren't many.

>>25011522
i'm on a high dose of sertraline. I don't know if they can change it.

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I'm a 20 year old dude. I'm so alone and fucking broken. I mean I know I didn't have a good childhood but it wasn't crazy or as bad as some people I've known. But for some reason I never recovered from it and I've come out a flawed person, and not in the way I could deal with?
I never felt what it was like to be loved until I was 17, which was very brief.

Anyway I don't really know what to really talk about. My parents kicked me out 2 days after my 18 birthday, which is what I wanted. I've been stuck in a cycle of making shit decisions and always feeling like shit no matter what. I'm 20 now and I've been homeless for most of it. I've been poor as hell the whole time and my small ass goals seem impossibly far away and well, impossible because I just suck at being an "adult"
I don't have anyone to talk to, I don't have anyone I genuinely relate to, and never have. It'd be hard to find someone like me because I wont even post or talk to people online anymore because theres no use because I don't get along with you! We're different as fuck.

I'm currently living in my car, for maybe the 10th time, and I just started working a new job at subway, where I'm going to be promoted soon, but i'd imagine i'll get fired for something stupid start over again.
I've moved over 15 times in my life. I've had no constance or stability its just a fucking constant train of feeling like shit. Suicides not an option for me because I've done it before and that's weak shit. So i figure i'll be alive for at least another 20 years. I really am getting sick of this shit.
My goal and desire and dreams are to get a job tolerable and actually pays a living wage, get an apartment, own a guitar, have a decent computer and to stream games on and play with people and maybe have 1 or 2 friends.

I can't even seem to do that. I'm not even a drug addict or anything, i'm just fundementally and deep down broken.

>>25011532
They can gradually ween you off and switch onto another. Just takes a while. I tried setraline, they combod it with my other meds because they were causing uhh..performance issues. Didn't help in any way so I stopped.

If you want to talk, I've actually gone through it all and know how it feels like, so I'd be down to chat. I could use a friend to share issues with as well.

>>25011533
Have you ever thought of joining a local club? There's sites like meet up where you can find people. Just having people in your life can help.

Recently met someone online and we seem to be hitting it off, but every minute we're not chatting I feel very nervous that I'm doing something wrong or too much or too little. Am I really just worrying about nothing and taking things too fast? I mean I really do like him but I just cannot tell if it is something real or not.

>>25011564
You're overreacting. Is this local? You guys should go on a date asap or it will fizzle out. If it's not local just keep doing what you're doing.

I met this girl on a college social app, she was talking about selling nudes. She flashed her snapchat real quick and she sent me a pair of beautiful tits immediately. I obviously can't pay for nudes, so we just start talking. 3 days later we have phone sex, and she sent me videos of her sucking her finger and playing with her boobs, I showed her a pic of my dick, and she loved it and said it was big. The phone sex experience was probably the best I've had.

Anyway, fast forward 3 weeks, we haven't talked about it, I try to bring it up, but she's pretty reluctant. We go to the same school and we cross paths, but I don't know her face or name... but she knows mine, and she has told me she's seen me. As you can assume I'm fairly frustrated... but she has a LDR BF and religious parents, already crazy as fuck, but I dont plan on dating her, I just really want her as a fwb for the semester.

We snap chat every day, but it's fairly short, she doesn't give me one word answers, but short. She has sent me a picture of her working at the school dark room, saying how she's bored, but I didn't ask if I could come because she's been blowing off all my advances lately.

Should I just go to the dark room and confront her when she's working there? I would be careful, I'm not a sperg, im fairly good looking, confident and charismatic, but I feel like it would be kind of rapey.

It'd be better than dancing around with her on snapchat. I just really want some closure or some continuity.

What should I do?

>>25011579
I just realized I like the word "fairly"

>>25011533
I know this is a vent thread (so you were probably just putting it out there), and you said you won't talk to people online, but I'd really like to kik you. If by some small chance you'd like to talk to me.

>>25011578
We live relatively far away from each other unfortunately, nothing impossible but several hours at least. We have expressed that we do want to meet at some point though.

>>25011579
Oh and I told her we should meet up and have lunch and she said "maybe some day"... before it was "No, I don't think that's a good idea".

Progress? Is she just replying to be kind? Why does she even bother continuing conversations with me? She's obviously very conflicted and horny.

>>25011585
Seems like things are going great to me. I had a LDR with a girl I met online that lasted a year and a half. Ultimately it was tough because she was in another country, so ever living together seemed impossible since we were/are so young. But for you guys I think it'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

>>25011590
I hope so!
We are also quite young and do not have our own places, but that is fine with me since time is not a huge issue, I just really want it to become something more than it currently is and just cannot tell if that is going to naturally happen from here or not.

>>25011596
Good luck anon.

>>25011562
I have thought about it. And that's a really good idea, but theres nothing i would be interested in my town. I dunno, I live about 6 miles away from Tacoma, WA i'm sure there will be something there. Thanks for mentioning this, totally forgot about it

>>25011582
Hello. I don't work today or tomorrow and actually have plenty of time to talk. I normally don't talk to people online anymore but, yeah, I do wanna talk. My kik is corkenspiel

>>25011613
Hopefully you find a club you like then. Glad to help.

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I have never had a gf

All girls I have pursued at best shot down my advances or at worst played a mean prank on me

I'm essentially all the envy and anger of Elliot Rodgers with none of his narcissism and entitlement (as much as I hate that meme word I just read his manifesto, dude turned down an office job that was "beneath him")

I also realize the way I feel is incredibly common with many men on this site as well. That makes me sad, but I can't force myself to care much about them individually even though I want someone to care about me

>>25011642
I actually had a pretty horrible prank pulled on me once. I had a girl pretend to like me for a couple weeks, beg me to date her and then as soon as I started liking her she said she was dumping me because I was abusive to her and I was shit on my her and some of my friends. Turns out one of my closer friends planned the entire thing. Cut toxic people out of your life or it will destroy you.

You'll find someone who likes you eventually. Just focus on making friends, and it will come naturally. Asking people out just doesn't work like that usually.

>>25011642
How old are you? Have you ever had a job? Do you have friends?

>>25011655
Yeah, mine was online which was even more pathetic but similar to yours in a way

Improving myself sounded good, years ago I started lifting and caring more about fashion.

I go to /fit/ if I need help with something but overall I'm getting tired of waking up early when it seems like my life would be of no difference if I just slept in and ate whatever I wanted most days now

>>25011665
I'm 20, I have a job currently but my boss threatened to fire me (kinda I'm on a 90 day trail thing at work) because I'm not "taking initiative" at my job. I just started so I'm still asking alot of questions constantly wanting to make sure I get things right. Most of my co-workers seem nice but they are all attractive people who have equally attractive partners from what I could dig up on them with my facebook stalking. However back to the somewhat main point I've been let go from alot of jobs because I kinda give off a creepy vibe and don't always do to well with people (I try to make friends at the job but it never goes too well)

I am lucky though in the sense I do have some friends from when I was in high school.

>>25011687
Oh. Mine was online too, I was like 14 and easily manipulated. Too embarrassed to ever tell someone IRL now. Was pretty hurtful at the time.

Good on you for improving yourself. I say keep at it, you will eventually see a payoff.

>>25011687
Hm, I was going to say when I was in college I worked retail. It forced me to talk to hundreds of people a day. I went from how you're feeling right now to having a girlfriend, and confidence in myself to talk to almost anyone, like getting a few different jobs by talking to people I just met.
If you could somehow simulate that trial and error interaction through other means, it would benefit you greatly.

Just work on yourself, as it's always said. Exercise, don't eat shit, be social.

I get so tired of fappin to couples that sometimes i find myself getting off to TS/gay porn. I swear I'm not a fagget or am i ?

>>25011702
You're bi and who gives a shit. You never have to come out anyway.

>>25011697
I was 18, never told anyone irl either. I'll probably just check her facebook every month or so to hope her life is spiraling downhill (it's sadly doing the opposite) and keep it a secret

>>25011700
Ironically when I took the MBTI test I got Extrovert on the test. I don't hate talking to people, I just don't think I'm very good at it

>>25011715
Anon is right. Work a sales job or something door to door and your social skills will skyrocket. I'm introverted but I can easily carry a conversation if I want to.

>>25011720
I did work jobs like that, in fact my current job is like that

>>25011721
You're probably better at talking to people than you think then. Maybe you just need people who are more similar to you. Like I said to the other anon, consider joining a club.

A,

I miss you even though I shouldn't, it's unfortunate that things didn't work out but it was for the best but honestly wish we had kept going, given it a chance. Know you're distant because of things that happened in your past, probably didn't help that I smothered you to try to help you get past those things but I tried to be something more. Unfortunately in the time that I had you, there was so much going on in my own life that I had to walk away, same as you did.
Should probably give you a phone call or something but can't set my pride aside to do it. Just really hope the best for you and that you take care of yourself. Maybe our paths will cross again one day, who knows.

When i was 15 i made my best friend start giving my hand jobs, then blow jobs and ended up fucking him.
I never did anything gay with other guys, i just liked having the power over him.
He is now gay and im pretty sure i turned him.

>>25011856
reminds me of M

>>25011871
You can't turn people gay. He always wanted the dick buddy.

>>25010501
I'm into it too bro.

:(

Hi everybody. My names Anon. I fap to imisabel. Radiohead - creep.mp3

I've been talking to several women from /soc/, swapping nudes and dirty talking, but any time I find out they're doing the same with other guys I get really bored with them and stop talking to them.

I'm a terrible hypocrite when it comes to sex and sex related things. I get possessive of people I'm just fucking around with, but as long as I'm not dating I'll gladly fuck around with several people at the same time.

Self-psycho analysis: It probably has something to do with the fact that my first girlfriend cheated on me when I was a freshman in highschool, and a desire to be wanted. As well, it may have something to do with not wanting to just be part of a crowd but to stand out as something better (To be the one object of sexual desire at that point in time, instead of one of many.), like most men, I desire to achieve and desire to be wanted/needed. This probably just manifests in a sexual way.

>>25012045
We all got double standards

>>25012045
I'm similar except I don't swap or want nudes.

I get ridiculously possessive over any girl I talk to and get along with at all, and if she starts spending more time with another guy I go absolutely psychotic. A lot of it probably stems from the only internet relationship I've had being with a girl who was equally possessive, making that kind of thing my standard, but still.

I wish it would stop but at the same time I wish I could just go crazy over someone.

32 m virgin, los angeles

kik: zsasza

>>25012101
Same here, but I pretend to play it cool, even though I owe it to myself to just break it off.

Why is it that theres always something on my mind?

Yesterday it was the "soft rejection" from my friend.

And now today, it's being worried about her dropping out of college

She sent this text "Yeah, I'm looking to work in FDNY EMS and one of my friends work in the department, so it might work out"

Keep in mind, FDNY does not offer Part Time employment, and that she's looking to start in August, when classes traditionally begin. Also, they do not require a graduate degree, or any college credits at all. And she already dropped out of a well regarded Uni (WVU) for a community college.

My prostate hurts and I'm too ashamed to tell anyone or ask for help.

I was in a relationship for 3 years and I absolutely loved the guy. Every day felt different when we were together. It was like heaven. About 2 years ago he shot himself and that destroyed me inside. I've tried to have other relationships but they just don't feel right. Now i'm to a point where i can't even find anyone to hook up with so i have turned to soc.

Life sucks, anons.

>>25011257
I'm sorry for your loss anon. That is a great achievement none the less. Maybe there is a possibility that somewhere/somehow he is aware of it and is extremely proud of you
<3

I have a pretty bad case of phimosis.
I'm a virgin (literally no one knows this)
I think about suicide every day.

I wish I could be more independent. I hate that I don't like myself enough to just be content. I am constantly waiting for people to just want me as much as I want them.

>>25012640
Go to the fucking doctor.

>>25012842
I have no health insurance though.

>>25010092
if it's none of ur business, keep out of it. if this dude's still ur friend, keep ur mouth shut about it. there's no right or wrong on ur part.
>>25010872
^this too^
>>25010569
why is it so hard to recognize these kinds of patterns? jesus christ, she's playing u, now move on.
>>25010943
its fun chasing another girl besides ur own and all, wont be as much fun if u throw away something perfectly good for a 10 year tease. fantasies kinda suck when they become realities
>>25011022
i think its worth commending ur self control regarding ur situation-- or for however much we're told. if she's made the effort to change herself for the better, then id do my best to suck it up and trust her. dont let those pics consume you
>>25011034
if the kids dont live with you then what's the problem? thats a fuckin mess and you know it, find urself a better woman preferably not trynna drag u in all her bs.
>>25011314
along with what >>25011323 said, its nice to switch up ur routine. do some more hands on activities, its a lot of fun to pick up a hunk of clay and sculpt something-- at least thats the first thing i can think of. just having my focus on nothing else but what im doing that moment eases a lot of stress honestly.
>>25011417
"fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" and so on. take not of red flags immediately, never ignore ur gut, blah blah. all of this couldve been avoided, but at least you got experience out of it so hopefully you wont be foolish to fall for that again in the future. its not too late, get an education, get a good rep and let that be the big FUCK YOU to your ex.
>>25011579
>>25011588
let it go, let her come to you. right now its easy for her to be arbitrary in communication you since she knows you're not only available, but very responsive. its not too late to throw a curve ball-- try what she's doing. since she's giving you cliffhangers, maybe start doing the same to get her attention. or just plainly dont fall for the tease

>>25012862
God damn your country is fucked up man. How is it even allowed that someone has pain in their organ but they can't go to the doctor because they don't have insurance and can't afford the bill? Yall need to fix this.

>>25012985
Faggot is just scared that everyone will know that he is anal loving homo

Some how weird people are attracted to me. I got stalked followed also someone brake once in to my house. But nothing Ever happend to me. But After that I always think.. well nothing happend? So at least I got an interessting story to tell and can laughting about. When nothing happening to me for a while I go to youtoube and listen to Simular storys to get that adrenalin back. Im depressed so i aint feel a lot but there I feel something. And so I think sometimes it Would be funny if someone follow me again around.. if nothing bad happens to me. And then I also think im crazy for that. And when it happens im scared af hate myself for thinking before it Would be funny and wishing it to stop already. Idk Who These people always are but Most time they are Differend people. Someone once almost got me. I have no idea why it is always me. I mean im a Boring ugly weird Person tf there are so many awesome people to stalk outside and they always choose the potato lol.

I am doing pretty well on paper: my career is progressing nicely, live in a nice home in a good neighborhood, have close family and friends.

But my mental health is far from great. I experience depersonalization frequently. I get bouts of anxiety almost daily. I havent been clinically depressed in years but a lot of those old feelings and fears arise from time to time. My self esteem is still pretty shit, it is hard for me to find value in myself when I am constantly feeling like life itself is meaningless and I am just a collection of atoms floating through space and time.
I still suffer from social anxiety and a complete lack of trust which makes it very hard for me to become intimate with anyone.
The one person I am interested in irl I am too afraid to talk to because of fear of rejection, or even bigger fear is going through to struggle of opening up to someone and then realizing I don't want to be with him and having to break up with him. I don't want to hurt anyone so I pretty much so stay isolated and shoot down any people who do talk to me.
Fuck
I look happy and cute and I seem like nothing is wrong in my life, but inside my mind therr is constant screaming and fear

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I have a hardcore latex fetish and porn doesn't work anymore and nofap doesn't help.

I need money but if I get job it means I'll have to move out and I won't have enough to buy any.

I'm proctoring a test to students but looking for anonymous hookup partners at the same time on my phone. Considering a glory hole at an area hotel but trying to decide if it's worth making up an excuse to leave work early. I've been really turned on by cuck and anonymous porn lately since my wife has more or less lost all interest in sex...and so it goes.

>>25013186
>and so it goes

who died?

It's a Kurt Vonnegut line

>>25013193
no shit nigga you used it in the wrong context

hence my question

For a lot of my life iv shut myself off from the outside. Iv had Horrible anxiety that stopped me from doing anything and my depression never abated.

I shut myself off from the outside world by masturbating chronically and playing video games and they've been my crutch for the last 21 years so i didnt have to feel, or experiance the outside world. I had a full on addiction to porn masturbating every day with my fetishes becoming more and more revolting until i reached a day where I could no longer even feel disgusted at the fucked up shit i was watching post Fap because there was nowhere to go from where i was.

This fed into my self hatred and Shame and just caused the depression and anxiety i wasnt dealing with to build up and be suppresed deep down.

I moved out last year and iv stopped watching porn and playing games frequently and quite frankly i cant fucking stand all this feeling but i want to get better.

A few months ago something happened that I didnt think would ever really happen, i started falling for someone. I know that might sound a it odd but iv never really felt attraction or longing for people, im pretty sure it was because of all the repression but i cant say for sure.

I honestly dont even know what it is about her, i mean shes not the most attractive person in the world, she has a nice body i guess but thats not really what draws me to her, i honestly just cant explain it and i may never know now because i missed my chance. She tried to dance with me at a Traffic light party and she had a yellow light but im a chicken shit and didn't do anything, she was kinda seeing someone at the time but it wasn't serious or at least they didnt want to label it.

It was last week when they made it official, when we were all out on a night out and quite frankly the thought of them together is killing me. I'v felt the depression i was beating come back and my anxiety that I was finally mastering, (CONT)

>>25013210
Is winning again, i was able to sing karaoke sober a week ago today i couldn't even go into my classes.

What hurts the most isn't even that she's with someone else, its that i never got to find out if she liked me back, or if i could have had a chance with her. I feel i could get over her if i only knew but i don't and i don't think i ever will.

The whole things been feeding into my depression along with the fact im only starting to feel normal again now im off video games, porn and masturbating and im not sure i wont relapse and become the dead inside person i was before even though i know i dont want to be.

Shes best friends with my roomate and i still love to see her or just be around her even just as friends but hearing about her and her boyfriend just opens fresh wounds as i begin to think about the two of them together and what could have been.

Im sorry for ranting and venting but i really needed to get this off my Chest. Even if theres no advice that can help me its nice to know i could say it to someone or some people just to read, thanks for that /soc/.

>>25012996
That makes no sense at all. I never did anything with my butt.

Oh boy, here we go. Heres a few things on my mind lately:
>ive been in college for 3 years now and I havent made a single friend, in fact ive barely had any conversations with people, im beginning to wonder if theres maybe something wrong with me.
>Ive been fairly sedentary the past few years, and ive been putting on a little weight. Unfortunately I lack the motivation to go out and change this and it makes me depressed.
>I fucking love traps
>any feminine boys really. I delude myself by thinking its not gay, but it probably is. Problem is id likely be disowned by my family if they were to ever find out, or at the very least shunned.
>I dont really my care, but it just goes to show that the people you care for and whom you think care for you would turn on you without hesitation for something beyond your control.
>knowing this makes me depressed
>I fucking hate my job. I make VERY little money, deal with complete assclowns, and dread going in everyday. Unfortunately its my only work reference for the past 3 years (on and off) and id have a hard time dealing with my parents if i was unemployed.
>if i leave it i probably wont find a other one. In fact, if I did, it would probably be a downgrade
>tfw no gf
>tfw its gonna be really cold this week
>I hate the cold
Im basically full of bottled up sadness that is becoming difficult to contain.

The only things I have going for me is my nice PC and about 10k in savings. I was supposed to visit family in europe this summer. Ive geniunely been contemplating not returning, even an extended stay like 6 months or something. I need to escape. I need a way out of this hell.

>>25012906
>>25011579
I used to be obsessed over her, but I'm not as much now. I'm worried she feels the same, but I'll try it. Would you say don't reply for a day? She just read my latest snap 8 hours ago and hasn't replied yet, very strange. Either way I'll probably make her wait all weekend.

>>25012906
Yeah I know I think Ill just run thru this year and move separate ways when it comes. I can tell nothings going to change but Im at least going to try to help her better herself until then. >>25012862
Go anyway most places will try to help you out in some way shape or form for this at least

>>25011533
You are way too young to give up on shit. 20 years old is baby age. It takes time to get adult thing right. I didn't get it till I was 28. I went to community college at 30. Now I'm 35 and rocking-and-rollin. I have awesome wife, gorgeous kid, awesome job and 2 houses.

finally in a happy and fulfilling relationship that I think has the potential to go far. recently my partner's financial and living situations have changed drastically in a short amount of time and as much as I'm happy for them, I can't help but feel anxious about it. These changes are already starting to affect my perception of our relationship (although I'm probably reading into it) and I know that I'm expecting a lot worse than what might actually happen because if anything these changes will lead to a more positive outcome than any sort of negative one. I just don't know how to keep the anxiety at bay and how to keep it from affecting me and my behavior (so that I don't act weird or nervous or defensive or whatever) and I'm thinking that it may be a good idea to talk to my partner about it but at the same time I don't want to burden them further than they already are now with all the stuff that's been happening recently. So I figure that I'll tough it out but I don't want to feel so paranoid and insecure every time something major happens, and I know it will because my own situation will be changing a lot in a few months. I trust my partner a lot more than I've ever trusted any of my previous partners and I want to prove that to them by not being dependent on them 100% even emotionally but I have trouble telling where the line is between independent and closed off but that's a whole different topic. Thanks for reading, any thoughts would be appreciated.

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I'm suicidal, but scared of death. I'm very lonely. I was recently diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder. I have a roof over my head, I'm in no danger of starving, and knowing that makes me feel guilty for having depression. I'm relatively healthy physically, but I've been having strange aching pains all over my body for months.

I know what to do about my problems, I'm just tired of being alone. I don't want people knowing about my issues, but I'm tired of carrying the burden of seeming 'normal'. I don't want to come off as a whiner or seem negative, so I don't talk about my problems. I wish I wasn't so boring. I wish I was good-looking. I wish people actually liked me and not just the pleasant persona I present.

>>25014761
Mein bruder.
I feel the same way. Especially the ending. This masquerade I put on is so tiresome. This illusion of me being a happy, well rounded person. Its its own hell.

I fucked my 9/10 cousin at a christmas party. It's how we both lost our virginity.

>>25014814
The worst thing is that I don't feel like anyone is falling for it, they know I'm a fake. That's why no one wants to get close to me.

used to work in the drug trade. I don't feel bad about it, but tired of having a large portion of my life still being a secret to most people.

I am a 25 yr old Engineer who has never had a girlfriend due to my severe social anxiety. My parents have no idea and are now constantly asking when i will get married. I constantly tell them i want to focus on my career for now. The truth is, i cannot muster the courage of telling them i may never get a girlfriend or even a wife.

It's been almost a year since I left my gf of 1.5 years and i still have regretted it everyday since. No one has shown the slightest bit of interest and the one who "did" was just leading me one. My ex hates me beyond belief and every day I just wish and hope that there was a way to win at least her friendship back. I believe there are others out there for me but it's so hard when life is so empty. I drown my days and nights in drugs and alcohol just trying to pass time until I die or fully move on. Idk what I was thinking the day I dumped her... I hate myself and my life. My friends and family are the only reason I dont kill myself. I'm pretty far from suicide because they are good friends and my parents have done so much for me, but goddamn lifes rough without someone always being nice and supportive or really just the constant conversation. I also hate the city I go to college in, it has its pros but I hate living there....

dude fuck I'm just gonna keep drinking and crying and one day it'll all be better right?

I'm 26 finishing up my tech degree had a GFfor 3 years. Almost 2 years ago we broke up mostly because she was a social retard and refused to help herself. Still miss her too this day... but now she's dating some dude online in Sweden.Tried Many months of next to no interest on the online dating world. Just feel so lonely...

I'm a senior in highschool, I'm female. I've had random swings of anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts that I've never seeked help for. It's never affected my grades until this year and I fear I will lose my acceptance into University. I have no close friends that I can talk to, and the few that I have are not very much. Uh, I should also mention that I'm an only child, and I have no family nearby because my family moved to my country as first generation immigrants. So i mean, I'm pretty tolerant to feeling lonely but idk. Sometimes it gets to me and makes me wanna kill myself even more :) I've never been in a romantic relationship either. I don't think I could handle one, I'm extremely dysfunctional. I fear that the only relationships I will be able to form will be with manipulative, abusive psychos...

>>25015100
Tbh, sounds like you need a good man to share some of your problems and stress/anxiety off. From the past I've learned it's well to help anxiety and issues by talking/going through it with others you can trust and love. Don't ever think about loneliness being an issue too, many guys such as myself deal with the same problem but i don't give up! If you feel interested talking more, can always with me just let me know! Able to post my contact info btw.

>>25012826
why do think about suicide? I dont think your condition is a big deal and its pretty common man

>>25015131
Are you out of your mind? The last thing she needs is a bf. If he broke up w her it'd ruin her. Obviously just trying to become her boyfriend.

Just try to find some friends to talk to. Join a club or something.

>>25015083
I also just self harmed for the first time in years, not certain what I'm feeling.

>>25015340
Self harm is completely pointless (speaking from experience). The momentary release is so minor compared to the damage you're doing and the idea of having to cover shit up, you're almost better off huffing paint (not a suggestion). Things are going to get better for you, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

Sometimes I type out paragraphs only to delete it all because I know nobody will read it, and if they do, they wont care.

>>25015100
hey man i'm in the exact same situation as you. also a fem senior with the same family type worrying about the same exact stuff (both college/future and relationships). would you want to talk maybe? outside of /soc/, it might help us feel like we're not totally alone in the universe.

>>25015689
you should post them. especially here. whether or not you get a response or a reaction doesn't matter because just the act of writing it down helps and solidifies it for yourself, which sounds hard because it'll make you accept the truth but at the same time it might become easier for you to move on. even if you think nobody cares you still have to care about yourself and sometimes that requires you to say "fuck it" and just do whatever you were wanting to do for YOURSELF (within some capacity of course don't be malicious or hurt anyone, just try to be positive about it yknow)

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I'm adopted. I'm so attracted to my brother. He's white. Tall. Fit. So handsome. I send him selfies of my body all the time. I know he must like me too. It turns me on so much to know that he wants me. I'm just so scared to make a move and take things further. But nothing makes me cum harder than when I touch myself and think about him. This was the last selfie I just sent him.

>>25013864
not strange she hasn't replied, I been dat hoe before. If she had nothing to say, she had nothing to say and leave it at that. Just generally make yourself seem more occupied, if she feels like she needs more attention from you she'll come to you. Patience is pretty key. Or if she didn't care for your attention to begin with, just let her go. It's pretty gradual, but if u play the game she's playing you'll eventually turn the tables and have leverage. This is all just my theory though, I used to play her game all the time and i'd be frustrated when my tease was getting stale. gotta new and more effective strat now hahaha.
>>25014005
what's at stake though? why wait a year? Is there something stopping you like finances or legal shit?

>>25016183

Do you know if he browses /soc/? Are you posting this here in hopes he finds you?

breddy cute either way

>>25016225
I don't think he does. Just needed to get this out. Maybe it's just a fantasy. Idk. It scares me to think about but also makes me so fucking wet to think about.

I'm a shy introvert and can't get laid because I always pussy out when I'm near a girl

>>25016239
You can probably go for it if you're of age. I don't think you can legally be charged with incest if you're not actually biologically related

>>25016246
Get an escort. Yes its $ but if you find a nice one they'll make you feel confortable and you can practice being around intimidatingly attractive women

I'm almost 40, married and I've been meeting this shy boy at my gym for some months.The gym have a 18 yo limit so I guess he's over 18, but probably not much. We met in the locker room and it's an all night gym in a small town so not so much people in the late evening, and we can hear if anyone is entering. To make a long story short, I started to hit on him and we made some soft sexual moves. He is extremely shy and had no experience from men. When I blow him he's always cumming within one minute, but it took many encounters before he would even jerk me off. Two weeks ago he finally agreed to suck my cock, and he asked me not to cum in his mouth which I promised not to do. I was very horny because I hadn't had any opportunity to have sex with my wife lately. When I was getting there, I stopped thinking and blew my load straight in the guys mouth. He withdrew and started to cough, while my cock continued to spew my load in his hair, face and his chest. I apologized for what I did but he didn't say much, only looked a little sad. After that I didn't see him for over a week, and I felt very bad for this. I thought I'd never see him again until the other day. This time he had changed. Not shy at all anymore, much more straight-on and active. But my jaws really dropped when he asked me to bang him. This shy boy didn't even let me touch his asshole before! Now he want me to plant my cock in him. No condom, and only soap from the shower as lube. Of course I couldn't stand his unbelievable tight ass for long time, but this time I asked if I could cum in him. Surprisingly he gave me permission to do so. This was the best feeling I felt for years!

My wife still thinks I'm straight.

>>25016252

I doubt it's the legality she's concerned about.

>>25016239

Sometimes fantasies are best left just that. But, there's probably other hints or whatever you could drop. Or you could just talk to him about it. Which I know is scary, but the simplest, most direct way to handle it. It also might remove some of the mystique to it.

>>25016264
"Things that never happened."

>>25016223
Thanks, I'm glad I can get advice from a vet haha. I'm focusing on a new girl now so it shouldn't be that hard to ignore her. I'm pretty sure she only logs on for me, and the last thing she asked me about was if I had old exams for a class, saying she was "extremy desperate". I didn't go for it because of how often she's been deflecting me. I just told her "I might".
She wants to get dominated, so I'm assuming if I make her wait until she begs it's my best bet.

Had a rough day so I decided to go get Indian food to cheer myself up. Walked down the street and ordered some takeout. Had to wait 20 mins for my food so I sat down. I noticed the waiter was acting wierd towards me though. Towards the end I realized he might be trying to flirt with me. He gave me the food and told me to have a nice night. Had to remind him that he never charged me. I payed, took the food, and left. As I was walking down the stairs I said fuck it, turned around went back up and asked him for his number. He actually said yes. I did it. Holy shit I actually did it. I'm an obese 21 year old kissless relationshipless virgin and I got a cute guys number. This is such a good feeling. I don't have anyone to tell though. I guess this is a happy vent. I haven't texted him yet, what do I say?

>>25016430
Hey this is anon. I met you at that restaurant

>>25010050
Dealing with BOLIMIA

>it all started last year around this time when I started to do track
>it all started one night when I ate too much and felt sick so I went and puked
>it happened a few other times
>then it was an everyday thing. I would eat a granola bar in the morning and then ate lunch at school but always went to the bathroom and puked it all out.
>for diner I barely ate anything.
>I never intended to do it to lose weight but others started to notice and it felt good so I kept doing it
>every time I go out to eat its so hard not to get home and make myself puke :/
>I've lost like 60 lbs.
>I used to be 315 lbs.
So yeah shits crazy I've calmed down a bit but its hard to eat enough and not feel like shit. Could say I'm anorexic in a way

>>25015100
I feel you. My Mom and I are first generation as well and I sometimes feel that I'm never going to be able to have a relationship because my side of the family wouldn't have much to share or in common. I've stopped talking to girls that I've gotten to know well and they like me but its hard for me to make an offert

>>25010050
I'm really really into scat play

>>25016638
what's the point of this when my posts are obvious

>>25016291
I wouldn't be too shocked if she was stringing some other dudes along, if there was no one else giving her attention she'd probably be more responsive to you. nothin personal to u tho some girls know how to hustle. distracting urself with other girls is best imho

>>25010050
This threads about to die and I've never said this before so fuck it. I'm into teen girls. 14 ideal, would go down to 12 though. I'm dating a 16 year old since she was 15. Nobody knows except me, her, and her friend. I'm 22. I know I'm fucked up. Worst part is you'd never guess. I'm a respected software engineer with a mortgage and a nice car. Monsters exist among us in the places you'd least expect.

>>25016696
Nah senpai its society. Age of consent is europe is usually 14-16. Its nature.
The US is ridiculous with its aoc laws. A by product of its puritan roots.

>>25016891
Nice America-centric assumption. I'm from uk (AoC 16) but currently in Bulgaria (14), would like to make use of law while I'm here

>>25016685
Well she does have a bf. Her parents bug her about getting married.
What do you think about me coming to her working time at the dark room? It's actually bright, she says she's alone. Would that be too intrusive?

>>25016696
We are all aware of this. But thanks for the cool edgy post, i guess..

>>25017084
Honestly, I don't know. My assumptions and generalizations about her and even you can only go so far. It's a pretty aggressive step forward, but if you feel confident overcoming its risk then why not. I'm pretty much saying its a gamble so if u like livin on edge bet it all in dude. Worst that could happen is she says no and you lose contact and pass each other by awkwardly as u both pretend to look at ur phones in the hallways sometimes

>>25016264
Do you expect your wife to have fucking telepathy? Do you think she is spying on you while you fuck guys? Kek obviously she thinks you are straight if she is married to you.

>>25017084
>>25017229
o i meant the worst thing is that she get her bf involved and he snaps u through her sc sayin he'll kick ur ass. But even that aint so bad just square up and throw some hands and itll all be good haha

I'm massivley into crossdressing ,either for myself or sexually for guys.
My gf knows I'm really into alot of fetish stuff but this one is something i know she won't be into, But we might be living together soon and I'm getting really bloody stressed about how to handle it.

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>Everything is going well.
It has only been 3 months into the new year and things are actually going well. Moved into a new place with an extra bedroom, that actually covers my rent perfectly. Learning to budget my money and it is actually going further than I thought. Haven't drank an alcoholic drink since 24th December 2016, and continue not to. Because just not interested in it. Cut down weed use to too twice a month. And overall just trying to contribute a little bit more at work as well. Asking if any one needs help with anything other tasks and such. Yeah it is all going actually well and it fucking terrifies me. I do not know why but for the last 3-4 years the beginning half of the year is ultimately brutally shit. But not this time and it is very fucking weird. Do not want to be social either really since I'm in the building stage of making my new place an actual home. Only real worry is not I am not restricted anymore. All the thought of people in the past are coming back and how they treated me. Yet this helps me realize that I still have alot of resentment towards people I know and even family. But I'am just glad it is in my head. And I'am calm polite and behave when I'am out and about. But I think once I get to my birthday in two months. I should be able to relax a little even for the one day which will be my birthday. Just appreciating how much I have survived and gained. I actually look forward to cleaning on the weekends too. I think I will be fine in the long run. Maybe it is just initial shell shock to getting to this stage. It is weird and terrifying but in a positive way. And all I can do is one step at a time and one day at a time. Monday will be the anniversary of your death. I will be okay. I always was. Maybe I have just moved on from the grief it caused me.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FJUD0rEPWM

>Dad.

>>25016223
Not wanting to royally fuck myself with no money or job or anything.
I have a lease on a place and some issues I need to take care of before I move.

honestly, I just push away my friends and family because I'm waiting for the day I can kill myself without hurting them. I know it'll hurt but not as bad. I just know it's going to happen.

>>25017485
ahh fair enough. Good luck dude

>>25011179
what a loser

>>25017732
Thanks. I thought about this one since last year I had fucked my back up with my job. (Muscle strain nothing serious) So taking this year to really just buckle down and get it all done.

>>25010092
Please tell someone. You can (and probably should) do it anonymously, but please tell someone. I was in a similar position and I wish someone had spoken up for me. It's obvious you have a heart and this is eating away at you. It's not good for you to have this weight either. Have you considered that this has traumatized you as well? You need to be an advocate for his ex but for yourself as well. You are not to blame and it is not your fault.

>>25017790
yea i hear ya. I wasn't really criticizing before as much as i was just curious. it's easy to say "leave the bitch and live ur life" blah blah blah, but sometimes long term objectives help you out a greater deal.

I want an older woman to teach me about sex.

>>25011179
>>25011197
>Extreme Bipolar. Like extreme. You have to get help.
> Because you could hurt someone very badly without even realize you are doing it

This is something you really need to consider. You should really see someone. You're putting yourself and others in danger. You don't have to live life this way.

>>25011402
Just by what you said, it's apparent that you really do need to do something about this. Even if you don't want to go on medication, at least see a good therapist a couple times a week.

>>25016696
I feel a bit of self-pity coming from you. If you cared that much about your behavior or these girl's well being you wouldn't be doing it. I don't feel sorry for you. Not sorry.

>>25016638
Need me a freak like dis

>>25012367
Ideas?

>>25017466
You are a beautiful person.
<33333
<3

>>25017908
They are around.
>>25017839
I figured as much. And I think she knows Im just about done with all the bullshit that's going along with her. Granted I wouldnt leave her completely in the dark. I would at least try to give her 1k or something to help get her back on her feet. And the like. But yeah even if I could pick up and move right now. I would hold off. Theres a lot of moving pieces when I just sat and thought about it.

>>25017982
for sure. sounds way too involved, and she's not even your wife. At least not, leaving a wife over a gf would be a much more taxing process

who goes to /soc/ to vent?
> /adv/

I have an internal struggle between thinking cucks aren't real men and fucking around with other people shows disrespect for your significant other
while at the same time wanting to be selfish and fuck other people who aren't my boyfriend.

He isn't interested in sex, doesn't want to fuck me or anyone else, and thinks of it as a chore he is obligated to do because he loves me....which makes it no fun to do.

have no idea if I should try convincing him to let me fuck other people, or just shut up and deal with never getting dick'd again

There are so many things I could bitch about here, from people letting me go on thinking that we're friends only to slam the door closed when I'm at my most vulnerable, through to this endless 'is this ok, no it isn't, actually yes you are the arsehole, but they said it was ok' loop playing in my head because people don't lay down nice and clear fucking boundaries.

But I guess most of all, I just want things to work out for a change. Just want this attempt to get on with my life to not flame out and fail like all the ones before it. I just can't see that happening right now.

I think I'm pregnant for the sixth time. I don't think it's my husband's.

I'm considering cheating on my wife. She's practically sexless now, and has generally little interest in sex beyond the once-a-month fucking she goes along with. She has no initiative of her own, and is almost completely passive when we fuck. We've been married for years, but I still can't accurately say what gets her excited, because nothing seems to. I'm starting to lose my attraction to her physically, and it's a real turn off knowing she's just going through the motions. We've talked about trying different things, but she still doesn't show any interest. She's admitted that she has a low sex drive, but she doesn't seem to care about sex in general.
The shitty thing is it wasn't always like this. She's on anti-depressants because of work, which I'm sure is what's suppressing her libido, but she can't stop using them because they double as preventatives for a migraine issue. She's like a fucking robot sometimes, and it's gotten worse over the years. I just want somebody who actually enjoys fucking again.

Since I'm 6'4 and most of the household furniture and appliances were size for average height people I pee on bathroom sink since the height is right where my crotch is while standing.
Now I avoid having aiming issues when at the bowl

>>25018736
Man you got the greatest fuck doll there mate just ask her let you do her whenever you are horny

>>25010050
how are you supposed to find ur soulmate?
its vv lonely being friendless

I've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. She's a model girlfriend does most everything right,perfect wife material sans a couple small dumb gripes I have. But... For the past two I was seeing a girl I met at college on the side. She's the wildcard. Spontaneous, sexy, smart, and a total demon in bed. I'm talking chokes herself on my cock cause Shen preference it to breathing shit... insanely good chemistry there. Needless to say feelings were had. And now I'm torn. Do I stay with the safe bet that's be been by my side for 5 years and Is ok? Or do I make the leap of faith and go with the wildcard? Do I risk the good for potentially better life? This shits tearing me up....

I got braces when I was young even though I only had 1 crooked tooth. After I got my braces off, both my top and bottom row of teeth fucked themselves up over the course of the next year. My top row shifted outwards like the lead singer from Queen, and my bottom row shifted to look like a checkerboard. I got really depressed because I was ok with my 1 crooked tooth and didn't feel like I needed braces in the first place, so I stopped brushing my teeth for the next 6 years or so.

A couple years ago I learned not to care too much so I've been to the dentist and got 7 fillings. Started brushing twice a day again too, but I can't afford braces again and I don't think I'll ever be able to remove the plaque stains

I deluded myself for months to convince myself that I'm ADHD in front of several doctors to get amphetamine salt prescriptions.
Now it's been two years since getting them and I'm starting to believe that delusion and can't kick the shit. Just want to get rid of it all but the pragmatic part of me doesn't want to flush cash down the toilet.

I worry my anxiety will never let me live a normal life, I act confident and am very popular in my social group and in good shape and considered attractive generally but my self esteem is and always has been so shitty, I haven't had a romantic relationship with a woman in years and am stuck on thinking in incapable of connected with a female romantically anymore and just fucking everything I can but still feeling self conscious about every action I take and constantly paranoid

I am have the worst self esteem ever. I am told I am beautiful every day. I have an okay job and an okay life. I focus on my looks to the point where it's driving me crazy. I am slim and very young looking for my age. I give no shits about where I am going in life and just want to get implants, take a lot of drugs, and get a duck load of plastic surgery. I am constantly fake nice to everyone ever and never say a bad thing to anyone. Everyday I try to be a good person but I know what I would rather be doing is sucking a rich nerd's cock for drug money. I have issues. I dream about becoming rich off sleeping with rich men and finding a beautiful girlfriend to drive around in a convertible and take drugs with me. I keep all of this internalised and everyone thinks I am a beautiful and kind, shy kind of girl. I am a shallow idiot and I know this.

I want to try to get into hooking up with people but there is nobody around locally I'm interested in (super, super small town). I'm basically a kissless virgin though, so I'm scared I'll be super bad in bed and leave people disliking me, especially since at my age (25) I should have more experience.

I'm thinking of taking a few weekend trips to bigger cities just to fuck random people and get some.

>>25011533
Maybe you should start to be a drug addict. Not sure which but you definitely need SOMETHING to bring you up to snuff. It obviously isn't working for you not being a drug addict.
Or join a lodge with those digits.

>>25018062
I've cut ties really well before and just severed lines. The moving cogs are all my things.


I'm just about done with her and what's going on and I think she can tell I'm just done with her ex husband and his bullshit over custody.

>>25011263
are you male or female

Was obsessed with this girl for a long time, finally told her we can't be friends over a month ago, she fucked with my head too much. Was hanging at a friends house with all our friends including her last night. She tried initiating small talk with me a few times, and standing way to close to me, i had nothing to say to her. We smoked a cigarette together and just talked about random shit.

Felt like shit for the rest of the night because I just wanted to avoid her while everyone was in the other room with her just talking and having a good time while I just sat and watched TV in the other room with another friend.

>>25017865
I wish I had a younger man to teach about sex.

I'm 33 and drive past a private school several times a day. When I see those young guys in their school uniforms I get so wet...

>>25019990
>young guys
Those are called children. Seek mental help, please.

>>25019994
Kek. It's a high school, so not that young. Would like one around 17/18 or so.

guys I've been in a relationship with a girl for about a year now and we barely have sex lately (5 fucking months) even though she's not asexual.

so, any advice besides "fuck the bitch dump her" ?

>>25019990
I'm a bit older than that.

>>25019950
oh wow. Are the children really young? How often do u have to deal with the ex?

>>25010050
I have no friends

>>25020074
Kids are teenagers 11 is the youngest 14 is oldest.

Since they are in divorce things next year till I leave honestly. I don't see her moving with me
Ex is dealt with every two weeks give or take. Wouldn't be so bad if he would be somewhat flexible with visitation since she has had to swap weekends because of work. He sells insurance so yeah he makes his hours and just wants to be a piece of inflexible shit. Says this is the only weekend hes willing to be flexible since he's got plans with the kids for the next few months. Which is a load of shit since today when she called them to get them. He wasnt even home. Was at an event (Supposedly) more about this later. But rushed home before me and her showed up to get the kids and watched us pull in shut the door and refused to answer for roughly 10 mins and gets I to a pissing match saying stupid shit that she doesn't love her kids and I'm not going to be flexible at all because you have a job. Really got under my skin and hers when you are going to tell someone they don't love their kids when he's the reason she hadn't seen them since Sept because you know I'm a Tranny and I do drugs

>>25018736
Do you want to stay married to her? Do you love her? Have you guys talked about where sex and intimacy are relative to being life partners? Only asking because while I think cheating is acceptable in very specific, few instances, I think there are lots of other ways to enjoy sex outside of a marriage when one partner is having issues. Open marriages, sex workers.....

I say that cock size doesn't really matter to me but truthfully I wish my guy's cock was bigger. I'm committed and wouldn't cheat on him but sometimes I want to be choked and stuffed with a huge cock.

>>25020005
She's getting her sexual needs met by someone else. You can verify this by asking to see her phone/checking it when she's distracted. When she declines you know she's hiding shit, when you find shit you bring it up to her. Or just throw all her shit out and don't evet talk to her again. However you wanna handle it but yeah, get rid of the whore.

>>25012819
The only way he'd know would be if I told him about it. But I can't talk to him anymore even though I think about him every day.

But thank you for your kind words, anon

>>25020316
have u had a bigger one before? how big and what was it like?

>>25020526
sounds like an awesome feat! You should be proud of yourself and things will get better, time helps. I just got out of a 6 yr relationship myself...

>>25018672
jfc get your tubes tied

>>25020649
Thank you, anon! I'm really excited and nervous about it haha

>>25020659
that means you're gonna be great at it! good emotions to have. mind if is ask how long u been apart?

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>>25010050
I got like 6/10 looks so I'm not unfuckable but due to reasons I have never been in a relationship/ fucked

I don't know how to hit on girls. I got the advice to "just talk to them" and "just be yourself" but that only netted me some female friends. I JUST WANT TO FUCK TO PROVE I'M NOT DESTINED TO DIE ALONE AND UNTOUCHED.

tl:dr how does one hit on girls?

>>25020666
Complicated answer. But I finally had decided that i needed to stop talking to him. We haven't spoken to each other since just before this past Christmas, so a few months now.

>>25020717
ah I see, does it feel better since that much time has passed? are you interested in talking more over kik?

>>25020722
It doesn't feel any better, really. He was a huge part of my life and now he's not.

Maybe? What would we talk about?

>>25020642
Only in my mouth or throat, not my pussy. My guy's 5" and other guys I've blown have been like 6.5" or 7". I just like the feeling of being idk filled like that?

The men of my family have terrible natures, they are childish, possessive and angry and I'm probably going the same route. Because of that, I refrain from pursuing relationships, I know I'd inevitably bring a girl into a life of neediness and hatred.

>>25020870
I dunno just thought it might be nice to talk to someone in a similar situation... Im curious to know the details of you situation as it sounds similar to mine.. my kik is jd_g3 if you want to talk

Ok so my friend recently went through a pretty bad break up last month and she's been so down recently.

So on Friday we took her to a strip club to cheer her up and have a fun girlies night.

So the night is going great we are all having fun the dancers are all awesome and then the dj announces the main act/performer whatever and everyone is screaming.

So the guy comes out and I realise its my big brother. My friends haven't met him so they didn't know so I just had to sit there pretending to enjoy the show.

So I guess I need advice on how to handle the situation. I don't want to tell our parents because they are super christian conservative. Should I tell him that I was there and that I know?

What should I do?

>>25019990
Where do you live?
I am 23 and told I look very immature. In the Washington DC area

>>25021070
Nothing

Unless you want your brother to know that you know

>>25021095
I don't get why he wouldn't tell me tho we were all really close growing up. We still see eachother like 4-5 times a week.

We never kept secrets from eachother.

I'm 22 and 9 years younger than my boyfriend. My boyfriend is extremely loyal and madly in love with me. We've been together 3 years and I cheated on him once during our first year together because I was young and felt suffocated. I immediately regretted it and have never done it again since. Should I tell him now since it's been awhile or keep it in? The guilt is not life consuming but I still have an urge to say something about it. I know for a fact that he'd never find out on his own but I'm scared that if I say something I'll lose the best guy I've ever been with.

>>25021209
He will never fully trust you again, that's all I can say. That nagging doubt that you might feel 'suffocated' again once the relationship hits a rough patch (and it will) will be there forever.

>>25020963
If you're committed, then cock sheaths are a thing. The choking meanwhile shouldn't be a problem to fix, just talk him into it (if needed, set up a safe signal and assure him that you will use it, that should quiet any worries he might have about whether you want it or not)

>>25021015
I messaged you. I won't be able to reply back to anything until later though.

I'll do all three.

Vent:
My roommate is fucking messy as hell. I'll call her Laura. Laura likes to do her laundry and then dump it on he livign room floor to fold it, and then get distracted and not end up doing that at all. She will then basically live out of the clothes pile until she has just worn everything again, and it all finds it's way to the hamper. Fold your fucking laundry Laura.

Advice:
Met girl. Fell for girl. Got a place with girl. Girl and I decided to split after a while. Still lived together because it was cheaper and easier and we still enjoyed each others company. Girl's friend (laura from above) needs a place to crash between apartments. Second apartment falls through, Laura stays with us for a while.

Now lease is up, and ex is gonna bounce out of state for a new job. Laura is saying she's looking for a new place because she can't afford to take on my ex's half of this lease.

Soo, Laura's become a really good friend, and aside from being a little messy she's a great housemate and she's sorta been a great platonic partner for the past 10 ish months. My ex has been doing her own thing and is busy a lot, so Laura and I have been a dynamic duo most days, and I love the relationship we have.

I'm really not sure how to express that to her, without it sounding like i'm professing love or something. And i'm also not gonna just get another random person to split the rent with me when my ex moves out and if Laura leaves..id just pay the lease in full and live by myself. But i'd prefer to pay the lease in full and have Laura stay with me. So how might I go about expressing that? Or should I suggest we get a place together that she could afford half the rent?

>>25021517

Secret:
Cousin of mine got really really really drunk at a house party one time. She called me for a ride and said she was super fucked up annd needed some assistance. So I drive over, and she's not outside waiting like she said she'd be, so i trot inside to find her. I find her dancing still and generally just being fucking gone a thousand times over. And Im pretty sure she was high on something too because i try to call her name or tap her shoulder and she isn't responding to me at all, just dancing.

Anyway, i eventually sling her arm around my shoulder and start making my way to the door because it's like 4am and i was maybe 19 at the time and definitely too young to be at that party. And as we make our way through the kitchen she sorta starts flailing around and falls backwards and pushes into me. I catch her from behind be we are now both leaning into the wall. I ask if she's okay because i'm thinking she's about to pass out or puke. No response again. but she starts pressing her ass into my hips and grinding up against me. So i stand up and keep dragging her along and finally get to the car after she does this one or two more times.

Then when we're in the car, she keeps leaning over and grabbing my dick. like trying to rub and stroke me. After blocking her hands a few times she settles down and seems to pass out. but in her half passed out state she stuck her hand in her pants and started masturbating and grabbing her chest and moaning MY NAME.

I didn't know what to do, or how conscious she was, so i just turned the music up a little and pretended not to hear or see. And after her very obvious orgasm i guess she passed out for real, and I just carried her to her couch at home then bolted.

>>25021517
Tell Laura you like living with her and you need her help to afford a place

Tell her you see her like a sister if your want to make sure she doesn't get the wrong message

>>25011903
Lol quit thinking about me you butt you got a bf also I didn't post that but I totally got the same feels

>>25021265
Do cock sheaths work? I hope I won't insult him but I'm willing to give them a try.

>>25020233
We've talked about it before, it's when she told me she had a low sex drive. I do love her for her other aspects aside from her physical attributes, but she doesn't seem to care about making some effort of her own. She doesn't respond to subtle invitations, she's almost completely anti-romance, and I have to flat out say that I want to have sex for her to even acknowledge the subject. None of this was a regular issue when we first started dating and having sex, and over time she just...stopped. I've tried to think of it in terms of aromanticism and asexuality, but I don't know how valid all that is. I've also thought about it being that she's just not interested in me physically anymore, but she's fine with kissing and bodily contact, and we enjoy our time together as any normal couple would. I've even tried to figure out if she's fucking someone else, but her phone and accounts don't look like she's in contact with anyone else for sex. So I just don't know. I'm tired of jerking off and I miss fucking someone who is actually into it.

I really want to watch somebody poop

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I'm into taller girls. 1'75 m (5'8 for Americans). How many chances do I have of finding a taller gf? Is height that much of a problem? If I get fit will I be able to look like the dom or I'll always look like the sub because of my height?

>>25010092
You should, especially if you're not willing to do something.
If you want to do something and are willing to try and aren't sure, okay, you're fine.
If you're just a cowardly little bitch who is doing nothing and unwilling to get involved? Yes, please kill yourself, you are what's wrong with the world and why this shit happens.

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>>25010874
LMAOOOOOOO you should probably kill yourself, like not joking

I have taken advantage of every drunk female friend that I have repeatedly.

>>25017968
Thanks it is just weird that everything is going fine. But i will just keep trying to be positive and actually have a good year for once.

>>25018404
The issue is the connection is broken beyond repair. So posting on /adv/ means taking down your ad blocker which is a risk I will not take. Ever. If these threads can be official on /soc/ is can help people meet other people as well as help them with issues.

>>25023110
Then prepare for the rape allegations to cum flooding through the doors. Might want to clear your phone of any pictures, texts or videos. Because women may forget but they will never forgive. Get ready to be on the sex offender's register or have the title rapist permanently on you.

I'm pissed at you, and you probably don't even care but I'm pissed because you were supposed to be honest and you weren't. You avoided just telling me what you needed to tell me. When I wanted to know what I meant to you, you should've known that I'm fucking foolish and hopeful and for some reason I thought that you and I were going somewhere even though realistically, and subconsciously I knew this, there was no possible chance of that. But instead of saying that, like you know you should've, you spewed bullshit about being ecstatic to have my head on your shoulder, and how you went out of your way to see me. Bullshit. You KNEW that wasn't the right answer, you KNEW that you were giving me some sense of false hope. And why? I don't even fucking know. It's not like it would have affected you to just tell me that. And now I have to sit back and struggle to stay in the right state of mind because I'm weak as fuck and it kills me to know that you're with somebody else and they're more important to you. What they have is all I wanted. To be yours, and titled as so. I couldn't wait for the day I could just sleep with you, in the most simple sense of the term. I wanted to fall asleep next to you. I don't even give a fuck about sex, I don't even enjoy sex, no man has ever made me orgasm and you were no exception, but I was fine with it because I was still with you and that was all that mattered. Now you're with the same woman who I imagine you were with the night you couldn't just have a two minute phone call with me to relax my suicidal state of mind, and you made it 500x worse but I still wanted to be with you. And now she's going to be the one to do all the mundane life shit with you that would've made me the happiest person in the world to do. I fantasized about just going to the grocery store or sitting by as you worked on things, and I got to do both of those once and it wasn't a slight bit less satisfying than I imagined. And I just wish I meant the same to (1/2)

(2/2) Or at least that you would have told me there wasn't a chance, so I could've stayed with Jerin and at least have been happy with him but now I have neither of you and it's my fault for believing you could ever even give a shit about me.

>>25010050

How do I get better with girls? I am 20 years old, tall, in shape, white. blonde hair, and blue eyes. I have been told by my ex's (only 3 in my total dating life) that I am good looking, funny, and take care of my body.

My issue is that I can be very timid/passive when I see attraction signals from other women (older to young) I have a tendency to freeze up, look away, etc...and end up giving off a "not interested" signal back... yet what ends up happening is that I end up approaching once the interest dials back and I end up getting tested hard.

How do I pass shit tests, stop being so timid, and go after what I want?

>>25023765

All my ex's and flings have also approached me first too.

I thought I could get over my ex by fucking other guys. I fucked 2 in a few days, barely any contact with either afterwards. I feel alienated and unloved.

I recently started asking women online to abuse and I'm getting off to it.

>>25023751
>>25023763
>I could've stayed with Jerin and at least have been happy with him but now I have neither of you
Lesson to be learned you can never have it all ever.
>>25023765
>>25023766
> I have been told by my ex's (only 3 in my total dating life) that I am good looking, funny, and take care of my body.
Kind of weird because if you were what your exs have stated wouldn't they not be your exs? Just post yourself in rate threads. Talk to the people who reply and build yourself up from there. Then apply your confidence from internet chats. In the real world step by step. Thats all I got really.

21 M here, dated this girl for a few months, and she wanted to stop because she didn't have time to commit to a relationship.

This was from tinder, the only success I've had from there, I want to go out and meet girls that way but I'm shy, and wouldn't know where to go by myself.

I realise the shyness can be combated, if I just went out and tried talking to strangers, sure it would make me feel awkward, but it would be better than not trying.

Where should I go to try and meet people? I realise there are bars, and nightclubs, but are there any other places, I honestly don't really like going to nightclubs, whether they be with friends or by myself.

>>25023864
>I thought I could get over my ex by fucking other guys. I fucked 2 in a few days, barely any contact with either afterwards. I feel alienated and unloved.
Well because you were trying to find a rebound through physical connection (aka fucking) to transfer what you lost by your ex into emotional commitment after said fucking. And I think you have learned. This is not the case in the modern world. Take time for yourself and sooner or later guys will come to you. And you will have the control to have emotional commitment first then fucking. You just feel used because you let yourself be used to see if their was a resolution or closure from your ex and you found out. It was not the case at all.
>>25023869
>I recently started asking women online to abuse and I'm getting off to it.
This may be fun at first being talked down to and such. But over time it will literally bring yourself down not only as a person but a human being. Getting used to being abused it very very bad for yourself. Get off with being complimented. Do yourself up, take some pictures, post on /soc/ and work on what others like about you. Not the other way round. Because you will end up thinking you are weak and have massive doubts. Just from a fetish you get off too.

>>25023889
>This was from tinder,
You will never have any form of a strong committed relationship from shit like this. Just easy fucks and a collection of STDs.
> I honestly don't really like going to nightclubs, whether they be with friends or by myself.
I would say go with friends to pubs and meet new people at social events. Yes you are shy but that hold mystery. If you be too forward you will make woman uncomfortable. Yeah when you meet new girls have a general chat. And leave it from there. The more you chat the more they come to you. The more you go to them, the more they will see you as needy, weird and uncomfortable.

>>25023874
I didn't want it all. I just wanted him.

>>25023908
Sometimes what you want is not all that is seems, or ever is what you desired in the first place. But life goes on. :)

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I really want to kill myself because I don't want to feel an empty void inside me, but everytime I get close I chicken out and cry alot

I'm a coward who cant ask out a girl he really likes

most of the time I am faking human interaction by mimicking those around me.

I only fake human interaction because I want to desperately tell the people I meet bad things or things that would hurt their feelings.

I fear that if a girl would ever get close to me emotionally, she'd find out how much of a loser and terrible person I am and realize what a mistake it was.

I only pretend to worship god to appease my parents

I'm only taking computer science as a minor to calm my parents, because I want to be a music composer

In regards to being a music composer, I feel like I wont actually make it in hollywood, and I have a feeling the back of my mind that I'm just wasting time before I slowly fall further into debt and misery

I think the only reason I havent killed myself is because there is still hope left, I'm waiting until there is no hope left, so I can take the chance to kill myself

>>25023968
Right.
>I want to be a music composer
Ever thought of channeling your motivation to die through music. You could be the first one to make a musical master piece based on suicide. As well are you wanting to quit so badly at life. Because you are moving further away from your goals. And you feel you will not make anything of yourself, before the student debt. I'm guessing you have will take over and cripple you forever in a 9-5 job. Yes you may not feel like even bothering composing anything or even trying to improve. But this is the best time to channel these fears, worries and doubts into some sort of music. Yes it will be shit at first and raw but the more you work at it and refine it. The more you might be happier within yourself. For at least doing something with all the negative doubt you hold. You can do it. It is just tough breaking into actually doing it. But slowly you will be more committed to working at the music composition that is what you fear. To make it something that matters.

>>25023905

Thanks for the advice, what do you mean by being too forward though?

>>25024057
http://www.messagetoeagle.com/the-mysterious-suicide-song-the-strangest-composition-ever-created/

it's not so much that I can't channel creative energy
It's that I am unhappy with my life in general

I can create music, hell I've been complimented on how well I can by professors,

but what does it all mean when I'm too lonely to even care?

>>25012101
My last two relationships ended because we had differences of opinion around being possessive/controlling. Apparently I'm too possessive. I felt they didn't care enough, or perhaps didn't show that they cared.

There are people out there who view crazy possessive controlling behaviour as a plus. Rare, but it happens.

>>25024078
Just like once you have talked to them. If they will be interested in you. They will either give you a number or add you on various social media. But if after you have talked to said women and then pushed your number or added them on social media first. Then it seems needy and not much to show from romantic interest. More platonic friendship. This is what i mean by being to forward.
>>25024081
> but what does it all mean when I'm too lonely to even care?
The more music you compose the less lonely you will be. People will want to know how you can create such beauty with such vast heavy negativity holding you down. It sounds like you want a challenge or something to give you not only motivation but enjoyment in life. Try seeing where the music will take you the more you compose.
> It's that I am unhappy with my life in general
Well see where life can take you. Even if you have to bullshit everyone that you do care. Sooner or later that lie of caring about life will turn into a truth of actual enjoyment of life and you will not even notice.

>>25024085
>Apparently I'm too possessive.
Yet in your perspective.
>I felt they didn't care enough, or perhaps didn't show that they cared.
Just throwing it out their. Did you see in your mind the whole nine yards of dating to marriage to kids to old age? Because tho it maybe cute this sort of stuff can leave you blind to the present reality you live.
>There are people out there who view crazy possessive controlling behavior as a plus.
Never known it as a plus. But I can imagine for people with abandonment issues that can not move on to independence until they are being supported building up their confidence and self esteem in a team play sort of way. Just guessing tho.

>>25011447
>>25011470
Cucks and cuck apologists piss me off, it's the most beta shit and is fucking disgraceful to regular men

>>25024138
Is this whole "cuck"thing basically fuck buddies. But you have to have an interview with the actual bf/gf first. Like an open threesome. But your banging the girl physically and the other guy is thinking he is banging her emotionally with no physical contact what so ever? Kids these days confuse me.

>>25024112
Can't say I saw it going the whole hog, it was quite some time ago (long story), but there was definitely an element of,
"so I went out with the girls and we were out hours beyond when we said we'd be back and he didn't even CARE ENOUGH TO PHONE TO SEE IF I WAS STILL ALIVE"

>abandonment issues
You're probably right. This and too much regency era romantic fiction.

>>25024205
>"so I went out with the girls and we were out hours beyond when we said we'd be back
That is actually quite a common pain. And you do feel powerless. Because if you text or phone it might drive them to go even harder on the so called bender. It is a mental waiting game that you feel you can not win. But at the same time you can flip it on them, by brushing it off when you next talk to them after the so called girls night out. It is very tough to do. But if you brush it off. The next time you go out with your friends and the gf is either at home/busy or at work. Just send simple messages about the night. The more you do this the more the girl will crack under the thought or you finding a better girl/ woman at said social events.Then when you meet your girl friend the next day. If she seem curious yet worried about the night out. Just say well this is how I feel when you are out and I'am at home. Either the girl friend will understand and you can both move on. Or the girl friend will flip out and you can add another point to why you should break up and move on.

>>25024251
Femanon. And this is no longer an issue in my life. But for a long time it was, and I desperately wanted someone who would be crazy and possessive about me in return, and I wanted the anon above to know that women like me do exist.

>>25024276
>Femanon
>And this is no longer an issue in my life.
>I desperately wanted someone who would be crazy and possessive about me in return

I think ultimately since this sin't an issue in your life anymore. But you did want to be appreciated to the point that you go missing. Time stops for the other person and crashes down without you in it. I do understand that. And yes.
>I wanted the anon above to know that women like me do exist.
This is a good trait to have a sort of unconditional love.. But I just hope it is with the right person who will see how much you care and just be content to match that emotionally. yes physically too. But only those 2. No buying your love and such. Basically an emotional reciprocation that can be shown in physical love that combines both of you into 1. And go for issues and problems as a team. I'm guessing.

>>25024138
Okay, then don't do it. I don't really like it either, I think it's dumb and most of the girls with SO's with the fetish probably resent their SOs because it makes them feel unwanted.

>>25024440
I just do not know why you would stay with someone who wants physical (aka fucking) with another person. It just baffles me.

I can't bear to not have a person guiding me through all social environments. I'm a huge manchild who will not amount to anything.

>>25024542
>I can't bear to not have a person guiding me through all social environments. I'm a huge manchild who will not amount to anything.

Why are you scared of being independent and accepting no one can solve your issues but yourself?

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>Resentment.
I have alot of resentment coming back to the surface. I think it is due to the last 3 years of trying to survive day by day. And now I'am free of that and can relax in a safe place. The realization that I'am free has bought it all back to the surface. But I will not act on it at all. Because these past 3 years would be all for nothing. I'm just going to let it finally pass me and keep going on what I actually becoming already a good year. Thank god I do not use social media. It makes it easier for me to deal with these issues. And since I'm loving cleaning out my own house. That is mine. I remind myself that yeah everyone else life maybe good and yeah everyone has moved on. But I have a four bedroom house and an already paid off mortgage. So yeah to everyone who thought they got me, ruined me and left for dead. I'm debt free and have my own house. So yeah who has really won. in the game of life so far. Because all i see from my loft converted window is friends and family with a shit ton of debt, unwanted children and a painfully slow deterioration of all your dreams and goals. :)

>>25024604
I don't know, it's all very confusing.