This is like a last resort, i just want to let it all out.

Okay so a while back i met a girl online. She was really interesting and as the young teenager i was i wanted to chat her up and all that. What i didn't realize was that i was very slowly falling in love with her. At first i thought it was just another '' highschool crush'' you know? But after some time i realized it didn't pass like all the other crushes i've had, and it felt alot more serious. I was really in love with this girl. After 1.5 years of chatting and skyping we came to the conclusion that we were both in love with eachother. For about half a year we were endlessly in love but she felt like she didn't want to commit to a relationship until we met eachother in real life first. So we did, i went to visit her and we had a great time, i really noticed how deeply in love i was and i couldn't stop staring into her big beautiful eyes. I slept at her place and it all just felt amazing. When i was going back home i texted her and asked how she felt after our meet up. Things escalated and it came to the point when i asked if she was interested in being in a realtionship with me. Keep in mind this girl had never been in one before and i was the closest thing to a partner she's ever had. She told me that she didn't feel the same way anymore after we met eachother. As heartbroken as i was i kept staying in contact with her for about a month or so, after that i just couldn't handle being without her on that emotional level anymore. So i told her that i couldn't keep in touch with her anymore since i was just too big of a wreck and i couldn't stop thinking about her. That same night i cried and drank myself under table like never before. I've never cried as much as i did for a girl before. I felt so hopeless. Time went by and a year later i got into a relationship with another girl. We got pretty serious and we were engaged. Suddenly all shit broke loose and it ended. I was really sad and turned to drugs. But i got over her pretty fast.

>>24985436
. Like 8 months and i stopped thinking about her. Then the girl from before that had rejected me contacted me and we started to chat again. I wasn't in love with her anymore since i just recently broke up with my fiancée. Some time went by and i stopped thinking about my ex fiancée and fell deeply in love with the first girl all over again. At first i kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything. After some time passed the tells me that she didn't reject me before because '' she didn't feel the same way '' . She rejected me because she was scared??? She was still in love with me back then. But now she wasn't? So obviously i got mad as fuck since it felt like my whole life got screwed over because she had to lie to me because she was scared. I once again couldn't stop thinking about her and i've been trying to distance myself from her but some way or another we always find our way back to eachother. I still believe we're soulmates because we have this connection that no one else has. She has admitted that she has these strange feelings for me but she isn't '' in love''. It's been 5 years now of talking, fighting, parting ways but we always come back to eachother. Now just recently we stopped talking again because i can't focus on my life when she's in my life. But i just can't be without her. I lay awake all night and cry because of her. Everything reminds me of her and i love her so much. This is the only time in my whole life i've ever experienced true love but it isn't consensual? And i've been thinking about killing myself before and even tried it. I tried to hang myself. I've done some serious drugs and it's all because of her. I can't stop thinking about her and now tonight i just came to terms that i can't live without her, and if i can't be with her i don't want to live. So i'm planning either cutting my wrists or hang myself. Also planning on streaming it or something.

>>24985435
I didn't read it all through and i typed it all in a haste so ye somethings may be a little bif confusing.

The moral of the story is never trust women.

>>24985438
Don't do it, find some hobbies, keep your mind busy and you'll find another gal.

Came to the same concussion and met a new friend that also just broke up... we joked that we should be gay and we actually hooked up. No bs, no fights, just a best friend, drinking bud, and great cock sucker all in one... were happy now!