STORY THREAD please tell me your story, anything from sexual

at 21 years old, i'm still a virgin (just the hymen) by my own choice, because I didn't do anything sexual for so long and only recently felt the urge to do so, I decided to remain a virgin for as long as I can. I have been involved in handjobs and oral though, even if only with 2 guys, I like it and everything, but I keep my virginity untouched. I have recently tried anal stuff with my fingers to try it out and I liked it, so I'm planning to try anal sex this weekend

>>24913244
woah, thats intense. so why do you want to remain a virgin?

>>24913271
I don't want to do it with short term boys, I want the right person to take it. But to avoid the sexual urge, I've been doing all that other stuff. I get a lot of hate for it, and friends saying I should just do it and enjoy, but I get enough enjoyment from the other stuff

>>24913277
i get that, that makes sense

>>24913306
it's kind of awkward though because I don't let guys near my vag, I only let them rub through panties. I hope the anal sex will go well, it really turned me on with my fingers in the past few weeks, any tips for that?

>>24913315
lube, lotsa lube haha

>>24913322
Don't eat tonight.

shemales and coke make me happy

no shemales and no coke is shit tier life

I grew up in a country outside the western world which was a war zone, and I always thought of myself as "westernized" because in my homeland you're considered that if you're just... not chaste, not traditional, pure, good. I was a prostitute at a young age, so I thought of myself as someone unconventional, brave, clever, experienced, a real modern girl. A week ago I realized that what you would call a seven year old whose father sells her to someone who makes her have sex with old men most of the day and doesn't receive money from it, just basic amenities-- although back home that's "prostitute", here that's "child sex slave." I feel really weird and bad about myself and want to cry about it for some reason now. I was horrifically depressed as a kid and I still try to kill myself really frequently, but I never really, considered how much it wasn't a choice for me, I wasn't just a crazy little wild child of the west rebelling against my culture, lol I was fucking raped by married men for most of my life and my family let it happen to buy a sack of fucking flour. I don't know, it's just weird, reconfiguring my sense of self... I thought I was punk for being trafficked as a sex slave! And I was so proud of myself for making it to the Western world, where I really belong!I'm trying to tell this so it doesn't sound self-pitying but lol I feel worthless.

>>24913371
ypu dont feel self pitying, thats a horrible thing to go through. your sense of identity must be scattered. i just want to thank you on pushing through it and telling that story to me. so how old are you now?
>>24913347
coke? woah

>>24913371
also none of that was your fault, feeling empowered by it was probably your coping mechanism

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>>24913371
Wow...wild story,and a perspective on sex trafficking I've never heard...
How identifying western culture could become a sort of "identity" to escape the horrors of being trafficked.
Are you safe now?

>>24913408
I'm 22. Thank you <3

>>24913612
The most unsafe thing now is just my brain, I get kind of crazy sometimes. I still work in the sex industry but I have the privilege of getting to screen my clients now and they're all good guys.

I used to snort amphetamine in a corrupt Eastern European country.

Now I just smoke cheap cigarettes and hope for inspiration to get myself out of my room and kill myself. In my self-defense, weather has been too cold for my prefered way out as the sea is frozen shut.

>>24913639
>>24913639
inspiration.
>>24913663
do you want to drown?

>>24913672
That's the idea. I have always felt a mixture of fear and fascination with water. Tried killing myself a few days ago ( not the best thought out plan, I did it out of impulse ) by chugging bit over half a litre of 80% spirit mixed with water in a very short burst of time, but I wound up passing out before I finished half of it. Just wound up with a mild alcohol poisoning as I vomited for hours the nexy day and felt the worst hangover in my life.

>>24913639
which country are you now? and how much do you charge for different stuff?

>>24913682
Shit that's intense. I feel like drowning would be really peaceful. Why do you want to kill yourself so bad

>>24913723
Drowning is the opposite of peaceful, I don't want to go peacefully. I could hang myself for that as it doesn't take long, but I want to leave in a way it can be written off as an accident. Don't want anyone to find out, neither do I intend to leave any notes. And drowning is due to some old book I read awhile ago. My whole life has been books, I know nothing else.

Burned myself badly truth to be told. Already did this earlier in my life, but at least I had a chance to be happy back then, this time it was just me being foolish and naive. And there is something fundamentally wrong with me, I am not sure what, but it keeps me away from truly ever being close with anyone, neither do I think anyone would ever want to be close with someone like myself. Feelings of inadequacy and failure weight too heavily on me, besides it aches so badly.

>>24913730
are you content with death?

>>24913773
I'm not content with anything, but it is the only thing I really want now. I hate myself too much.

>>24913710
The US in NYC. I charge 1000 USD flat rate on an hourly basis (anything under an hour gets rounded up to what it would be for the hour) but usually we go on a date and cuddle, which isn't ever charged, I don't expect or want gifts, and it's not charged if they went to spend the night and let me make breakfast in the morning. I only do one client a night so there's no rushing. Not inexpensive, but judging by other high class escorts here and feedback from clients, I think that I offer a fair exchange. Haha I mean I must or I wouldn't have any clients and be making money I guess.

OD'd on meds the other day because I was so tired of feeling like garbage. Someone called an ambulance, though, so I ended up at the hospital.
I had the most vivid dreams there - so vivid I had no idea I'd been dreaming. They were mostly about this girl my brain had made up... was a little depressing to realize it was all just a bunch of lies.

>>24913781
not bad
can you keep all the money or do you have pimp who gets everything?
what is off limits during your service?

>>24913798
a little depressing.
>>24913778
do you have any hobbies?

>>24913800
I keep all the money but the apartment that I work out of costs a significant amount of money. I don't feel like listing out alllll of what's off limits, sure you can imagine, basically anything that isn't vanilla, general rough sex, or foot fetishes.

>>24913315
Are you aware that any kind of pressure down there will stretch the hymen?

I'm a successful youtuber and pushed away a cute, funny, amazing girl I met a while ago because I thought that I had to get with a girl who was also a successful youtuber closer to my age or I wouldn't be taken seriously. now I realize how fucking dumb that is but my best mate already told me he's into her and might try to start something. I didn't know what to do so I didn't tell him it upset me. Fuck.

Guys, do you think a 32 years old guy with social anxiety could lose his virginity without the help of a prostitute? After all these years I'm starting to think I'm a lost case...

>>24913322
already ready with that
>>24914087
really? but it won't pierce it

>>24914497
>really? but it won't pierce it
It doesn't have to pierce it. Any rubbing and lots of different maneuvers can break it down, especially when exposed to hormones during and after puberty. The whole thing about breaking it by horse/bike riding isn't just a meme. Chances are you don't even have one anymore

if you don't want to have piv sex then good on you, but if it's just for that then that's a bit silly

>>24915081
well in any case, I want to continue doing this as I got used to it, and this upcoming thing excites me a lot, so if I like it, I might just continue doing it together with oral

>>24915081
>>24915107
You might stretch it and stuff but my s/o was a virgin until i met her at 18. She was a track runner very out going like riding bikes and stuff. It was still there still bled.. i just wish dhe was into anal...

>>24913213
Im feeling kinda good right bow. I got promoted at my work and i am teaching elementary students full time. Sometimes it is so hard. Sometimes i feel like i am wasting my time. But then sometimes they say or do something amazing, they apply a skill we are learning in their daily life, they go aboveand beyond to show compassion and caring for others... And i feel like maybe i am doing something useful.
But i get these existential worries all the time. What am i doing? What am i supposed to be doing? Should i be making more money and saving? Should i go back to school? Should i be pursuing my other interests? I find myself soending so much free time on 4chan or watching films. What should i be doing then?
Am i happy? Am i only happy because my kids tell me they love me? If i was working in another field would i be as happy? More happy?
I dunno i guess its very generic feelings of uncertainty and fulfillment.

>>24915107
Just let's see in what stage of intactness your hymen actually is already

>>24915135
noo, I'm not posting nudes, I don't do that

>>24915374
damn what I would give to see a 22 year old intact hymen, must be one of the last ones in the world... can u puts just that part of u and nothing else?

>>24915132
Just do what you love anon! As long as you follow your heart everything will be okay
>>24914349
Chase her
>>24914397
I don't think you're a lost cause

>>24915665
Don't pressure her :(

>>24915846
Thanks for thinking like that. Any advices then?

>>24915871
its never too late, maybe try to conquer your anxiety and go out and meet someone. chicks are just people too. im sure youre lovely

>>24915665
I don't even take any sexy pics, I don't find any fun in that, so again, no

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A few days after Christmas, I was working a motor vehicle accident off the interstate. While we were heading to the scene, our dispatcher informed us that there was several occupants trapped inside the vehicle, and that a tractor trailer semi truck had driven over the SUV involved.

We arrived to find the semi truck had pinned the SUV underneath the frame of the trailer, and we started extrication operations confirming five patients total. We were able to get a man and a woman out from the front of the vehicle and stabilized before they were flown out to the trauma center downtown.

The three other patients in the back of the vehicle were the children of the occupants up front; ages 3, 6 and 12. While we successfully made entry to the rear cab of the vehicle, we were met with those three faces completely void of life. Little bodies contorted and wrapped in a mesh of metal frame and shattered glass; the oldest one's hands were positioned across the little ones trying to form a barrier out of instinct.

The father ended up surviving, however the mother succumed to her wounds in the ER. To this day, I have never forgotten the look of sheer terror in their eyes. And whenever I drive past that area on the interstate, I hold my breath and grip the steering wheel tight until I've driven past the scars in the asphalt.

I still see their faces at night.

>>24915990
jesus christ. what kind of counselling do you get for your job????

>>24916023
Very little. My sense of humor is a morbid coping mechanism, and has only evolved the longer I am in the profession. My crew, and the guys on scene with me at the time and I, are close.

Fire/EMS mental health initiatives are only now starting to break through the cracks, and becoming a nationally recognized need (in the United States, at least) at a snail's pace.

But I love what I do. We take it day by day, and our family in the service is a close-knit one. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

I have a condition that can make sex excruciatingly painful. I was convinced that I would not be able to have sex but my boyfriend worked with me to overcome that barrier. He acted like a physical therapist in some ways and now I can often have sex pain free.

Now that I'm single I don't know if I'll ever find someone as patient as him. I don't know if anyone will want to stick around and help me heal. It's pretty depressing.

>>24915990
:'( i am crey

>>24914397
Nah dude, you're good. Keep at it. Need more specific advice, post your story. I'll try to help as best as I can

>>24914349
Damn dude, that's harsh.

Because my mother has been schziophrenic I had to move out when I was 15.
They took me into a protectory. Because of social problems I didn't like it there, so when I turned 16 a female friend of mine asked me if I would like to live with her in her parents house.
Well, I did. And it has been the best time of my life. It didn't last long because we had a lot trouble. We were too young I guess.
We lived in the same room. You're right. We lived in the same room. We were never together or something, but I really began to like her.
And I think she also liked me somehow.
It didn't last long, only about a year and I searched for a own flat in my city.
In the end she has been really mean to me. She also some day told me she hated me so much.
I had major depressive disorder at that time and she knew it. She offended me for that and used my depression to make fun of me.
I never forgave her this.
She contacted me a year after I moved out of her house and told me she is so sorry and she didn't wanted this to happen and she would still like to live with me and I should come back to her. I refused and insulted her.

And now comes the sad part:
I was on a lot of drugs because I couldn't handle my life anymore and because of drug usage on that day had a amnesia. I can't remember I conversated with her. I only noticed it because on last Christmas I wanted to contact her and therefore looked through my old e-mails and suddenly found this old e-mails I can't remember.

It's 7 years ago now. Tbh I don't know why I refused to live with her and why I rejected and didn't accept her excuses because she was honest I can just say now when reading the e-mails.
I'm so sorry for her and it broke my hearth and since Christmas I can't think about anything else. I contacted her on Christmas and she was completly cold and told me she didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

I just want to cry but can't and I have serious suicidal thoughts because I was so dumb. Never do drugs, kids.

>>24916040
How did you break up?

>>24915846
>Chase her
I'm pretty sure my mate has already started talking to her and flirting with her. I don't know how to chase her without it looking like I didn't want her until I saw that he did

>>24916287
I know. And the thing is that even when I essentially rejected her, she still was so nice and acted like a friend to me. She never tried using me or just wanting me to gain subs for her channel or some shit. Hell, she has zero interest in being "internet famous" at all. I feel shitty about pushing her away

>>24915107
Have you done it?

>>24916276
Well, my story is pretty simple. I have known a lot of women along the years, but not a single one has ever given me the chance to be more than friends.

Most women say I'm kind, fun, reliable... In other words, they won't touch me even with a stick xD.

So, a pair of years ago I surrendered and stopped meeting girls, I don't see the point anymore. I'm usually good with being single, but sometimes I can't help but feeling a little lonely.

And that's pretty much all the story. If you got this far, thanks for reading this xD.

I've been carrying on affairs since before i got married. I regularly get online and whore myself out. So long as a pussy is attached, I'm usually there. Had several close calls. Worst was probably when my mother and brother in law came knocking on the door after i had just got done fucking this one girl. She went full panic and i just happened to be in the shower so i just answered the door after i was done. Kept her hid in the bedroom.

In university, physics class, a girl sat on the row in front of mine. She wore a white blouse, a tartan skirt, and her hair was done in dreadlocks. It gave her looks a duality of wild/proper that I found refreshing and disarming at the same time. On top of that, she had an incredibly beautiful face.

After sharing some idle banter with her friends, she turned back, and asked me if I had a piece of gum by any chance. Her voice was as wonderful as her face. Lucky me, I had gum. I gladly obliged and offered her a piece. She asked my name. I told it. She cheerily said "Thank you _____!" and turned around to listen to the class that was just about to begin.

And that was that. I did not think of pursuing any further interaction. This was the only class we shared, and I dropped that class a while later due to failing grades. I never saw her again.

It has been almost fifteen years ago now, and I am still wondering what could've happen if I had been bolder.

>>24917558
:(
>>24917918
why do you do it?
>>24918313
was it love at first sight?

>>24917053
yes, I did it! it was goood, it took some time to start out with the gradual pushing and lube and all, but once I got used to it, it started feeling nice and we could increase the tempo. it hurts a little now, but I enjoyed it, it got me wet actually. definitely gonna do that some more

>>24917558
Internet hugs broseph

>>24918956
In a cliché movie slow-motion-with-romantic-music way, yes. At least on my end.

Either way, I'd have loved to go on a date with her.

>>24916364
Are you German by any chance?

I suffer from borderline personality disorder, and I was planning to kill myself when I turned 25.
A few years later and I'm still around, but Ive had suicidal thoughts everyday since I was 14. All I want is to be in a relationship with a caring person, but somehow I keep finding myself deeply attracted to emotionally abusive and unavailable women. I'm not ugly, I have lots of friends and I'm a lot of fun to be around. I just cant find someone to accept me for me, and it's hella depressing.

>>24919629
I think in the end that's what we're all looking for, acceptance.

Apparently these days is something very hard to find, unless you fit exactly the pattern society has prepared for you.

With all our evolving technology and advanced social policies, we could be one of the happiest generations to ever walk on Earth, yet we are as sad and broken as all the previous generations. Makes you think..

>>24916535
It wasn't related. We broke up because we wanted vastly different futures for ourselves and it became pretty much impossible.

>>24918981
Did it affect your hymen in any way, like have you looked at it before and afterwards? Did you cum? Do you consider yourself still a virgin? How did the guy like it? Did he know about your your hymen and did he try to see, or touch it?

>>24913213
I had a week long coke binge with this girl I used to be best friends with. We took a trip up into the city and bought a bunch of coke and weed and stayed at a hotel. We would climb on top of buildings and just watch the night go by while we were completely gone. She was the first real friend I ever had who was always there to help me whenever I needed someone. About four days into the trip we already blew through two hundred dollars of coke and about one hundred in weed. She opened up to me about her childhood and how her home life was and she was just so done with living. She was raped at a friend's party after getting her drink spiked and attempted suicide after. She lived with a druggy mom and no father. That night we decided to sober up and spend the next couple of nights sober and making the best of it. She killed herself two weeks later and had a note just for me to say that I've made her the happiest she's ever been. This was close to fifteen years ago a month from now.

Right now, I'm doing what I thought impossible for years.
I'm alone in bed in an empty house, thinking about anxiety without having a panic attack.

For the first time in a long fucking time, it feels like my mind is in my head again,
and not gradually floating away through my skullcap into the wild blue yonder.

For the first time in years, I've made peace with a turmoil that raged through my head day and night,
and made me cower from everything and nothing.

For the first time, the fear that drove me away from the outside, from people, from roads, from my own thoughts..is gone.

I never took a single pill or ran away from it like I did last time, because I knew this day would come.

This is my second chance, and I'm not going to waste it like the last one.

Fuck you, 4chan.
Fuck all you people who remind me of the worst in me.
Fuck all you sobbing mounds of steaming psychological shit for telling yourselves there is no way out, that it's hopeless, that the only good in life is its end.

Fuck you, you damn cowards.

I didn't learn shit from you.
And you were all wrong, damn it.
You are the ball and chain on my ankles, and you sink to a perpetual deep of self-loathing.

Fuck you for not fighting, and killing the tiniest flame of hope in people who share your fate, and whom you keep there, for the sake of not being alone.

I shart in your every orifice, you egocentric grubs of wasted potential.

Fuck you.
Fuck all of you.

You massive fucking cunts.

Goodbye, 4chan.

I always fucking hated you.

>>24922210
you wont be missed kek

>>24921245
Make this into a movie

sexual embarrassment huh?
well
im pretty sure at this point in my life im screwed when it comes to sex.
im 25 and still a virgin.

and im a virgin because i am insecure about my penis size. heres the story

this was the first girl i ever dated so its pretty significant. we never had sex and its because she made me feel bad. while we were together one time she mentioned a story. yeah a story about a story.

so the story goes, she was friends with a female coworker, who got a dick pic from a male coworker. so the girl i was dating told me that and said that the guy had a big dick.

naturally after that i felt insecure...
so finally we stopped hanging out never having had sex mind you and she immediately started dating some other guy where we worked.

F/22/Canada, undiagnosed but in therapy for BPD-like symptoms. I was never abused as a child but I've developed awful learned behaviours throughout my life. Had to quit drinking after a NYE incident where I was blackout drunk, went batshit and kept trying to physically hurt my boyfriend. That lovely night ended with me having panic attack after panic attack in the bathroom, forcing myself to throw up (was honestly a good thing at this point since i drank WAY too much) and constantly slamming my head into the wall, trying to give myself a concussion. I didn't succeed.

My boyfriend broke up with me that morning but after a week of no contact, promising him I'd go to therapy and stop drinking for good, he took me back. We got back together slowly and it was hard to get his trust back, but we're doing pretty okay now.

As of right now, I'm currently feeling a mixture of sadness and anxiety. This morning I texted a friend a reminder to book a day off because I have plans to go to Toronto with her and she never responded. Then I found out via Snapchat story that my group of friends I'm semi-close to went to the mall today without even inviting me. Feels pretty shitty desu.

Oh and my boyfriend is currently hanging out alone with one of his old co-worker friends who just happens to be female. I don't like this one bit but I have no reason to trust him. I mean, I read all his texts/fb messages in the morning while he's sleeping because I have crazy trust issues and nothing odd has come up yet. Yeah, I know it's wrong but it's honestly the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes.

That's about it for tonight. I should be studying lmao

You know what's the only thing keeping me from killing myself? I'm terrified of the nothingness that will come after death. Just the thought of it can send my thoughts spiralling into panic. I'd rather just spend my life in bed doing nothing for a really long time. Not that it'll change anything. Just a related thought. No idea how people can just be like "yep, death is for me". Shit's scary.

>>24921245
Holy shit... That sounds so surreal. Sorry about your friend.

>>24919086
Who are you?

32 m virgin los angeles

kik: zsasza

thats the story

Met a guy online four years ago. Fell in love. we were perfect together. even though we only were physically together for 3 months out of a year, it was literally fireworks every time I saw him at the airport. We used to send each other letters, things we had made, he sent me pictures of when he was a kid. We were completely connected. Then, he got a lot of responsibilities. He stopped sending me things, he stopped saying things like "how was I lucky enough to find you?" My heart breaks every time I look at our pictures. He told me I was too dependent on him, that he had his own issues to worry about and me depending on him for all of my support and attention was too much for him. He said he wanted a break. He hasn't spoken to me in a few days. I wait by my computer in the hopes that he does, so that I can show him that I'm not the same guy I was and that even in just a week I realized how much pressure I put on him. He won't see it that way. Now I wait for him in the hopes that he misses me. He still tells me he loves me, but I sometimes feel like it's forced. Every day I have a knot in my stomach and my heart sinks. I try to keep myself occupied but the only thing that seemed to help take my mind off it is self harming. I don't always have people to talk to, which makes it harder for me to deal with this. I'm torn between what to do. I don't know if he'll be the same as before with the affection and the support, if it's just him going through difficult times, or if he already made up his mind and got sick of me. Not knowing is driving me insane.

There are so many people sharing their pains and losses, so I'd like to share a happy story in order to lift some spirits.

I'm in the north east, and yesterday mother nature decided to make up for the unseasonably warm winter we've had thus far by dumping close to a foot of snow on us in one day. Now, I don't like to sit around on a snowy day, so I decided to get outside and shovel the front of my place and the sidewalks a little before grabbing one of my neighbors dogs and taking her for a frolic.

Well, I stepped outside and to my surprise, my whole driveway and the whole sidewalk was already being shoveled. And who was responsible? The two kids from next door, a 16 year old boy and his 12 year old kid brother. Both bundled up and working their way up the street clearing all the sidewalks and driveways. I had to ask why they were doing all the houses and the younger one goes "because we thought it would be a nice thing to do!"

I stuck around and helped them finish the rest of the street, but they had already made pretty quick work of it so there wasn't very much left to do. But it brightened my day to find out they were such little sweethearts.

>>24925612
to be clear, there was no prompting from their parents or anything. They shoveled their driveway and just kept going!

>>24924537

oh its 2 dudes

>>24925674
yes, we were a gay couple.

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This is truly one of the most quality threads on /soc/ I've enjoyed in a while. In this cesspool of dicks and sluts(of all genders) this is a nice change of pace.

>>24922857
Just some random anon... probably.
And I take it, you are German then...?

>>24913213
Been smoking weed pretty much daily since I was 17. When I was 18 I started doing Xanax occasionally. I'm 19 now, still smoke weed most days and use Xanax a couple times a week. About 6 months ago I tried heroin too (just snorting) and use it every few days when I have some and then when I run out I wait a few weeks and buy some more. I ran out last week and I just ordered a fentanyl nasal spray online because it was cheap as fuck and apparently similar to H. I'm not a drug addict, never been through any drug withdrawals, never used H more than 2 days in a row, and I don't have a compulsion to use, I just enjoy it. I'm just lonely and sad a lot of the time, I just don't show it.

>>24920565
it looks and feels the same, so yeah, I consider myself virgin. he liked it of course, I imagine guys like it for a reason. he did know, but he knows that I don't want penetration there. well he could see my vag since we had sex, he rubbed it a bit when he saw that I got wet there, but that's it

>>24914349
Womble? Hahaha I always knew you were a fag.

I try to downplay the shit I went through as a kid. Mostly because at this point, I've blocked most of it. I only really remember when I'm drunk, or high, and by then it's easier for me to talk about it.

I don't mind speaking about it when I'm sober. It's just hard to remember most things.

My mother is a drug addict. My younger brother takes after her.
I remember when I was younger, I'd crave her attention. I'd do anything for it. Was good in school, was good at home, did everything I was supposed to, but it wasn't really good enough for her. Sure, she'd go through the motions, act happy and then toss whatever I made her when I wasn't looking. My brother could smear his shit all over the walls and she'd act like he's the next Michelangelo.
It got to the point where, when I was 8 (My brother being 4/5), I gave up. But so did she at that point. She'd stop coming home some nights, but when she was there she was useless anyway. Did nothing but sleep all day and then go back out at night.
I'd watch my brother, feed him, take him to school, bring him home. I didn't go to school though. Maybe on the odd day, but that would make me late to pick him up.
I rarely bathed, I rarely ate. We didn't have much food in the house. I utilized what I had, made sure my brother ate when he could.
We moved a lot. At the time, I just thought that was what you did. Then I learned about evictions.
My mom always had a lot of 'friends' over when she was home. They'd go in her room with her, and I'd watch my brother. Most were her drug dealers. Some were boyfriends she'd have for a few months, maybe.
My mother taught me a lot about relationships. The older I got, the more I noticed. When I was young, the men were nicer. There were more curtains in front of my eyes. As I got older, I saw the bruises. I heard the yelling. I stopped believing my mother's lies.


> Continued

>>24926721

My brother started learning from her boyfriends. He took it upon himself to hit me, punch me whenever he could. I understand sibling rivalry. Sometimes it was just that. But the moment I retaliated, I'd be scolded.
Occasionally, she would be a good mother. We'd have the latest game systems, awesome video games. I'd beat every one. My brother would erase my files. I'd beat them again. Then they'd just disappear. I later found out my mom pawned them.
We'd always have a pet. Usually a cat. When I was very young, we had a dog. She was my dog. I remember her being an amazing dog. But she didn't like it when my older brother would come around. One day, he bent down to hug her (Who hugs a dog that doesn't like them?) and she nipped his lip. My grandmother took me for a walk after that. As we came back, a white van was pulling away, SPCA written in big letters on the sides. I was heartbroken. I watched the van leave, my dog jumping at the back window to try and get to me, until my grandmother covered my eyes and pulled me into a hug. Nothing but cats after that. None were fixed, all had multiple litters because my mother never kept them in the house.
One specific day, I remember clearly. I was home alone. I went to go see the newest litter of kittens. I noticed several weren't moving, just crying. I'd pick them up, and they were just lifeless kitten-noodles in my hands, mewling and crying and struggling. So I panicked, called my grandmother (who at this point lived an hour away) and explained the situation. She rushed down as quickly as she could, but by then my mother was home. She got her latest friend to take me and the kittens to an emergency vet. Two were put down on the spot, the other two were given little chance. They were so covered in fleas, the pests had sucked so much blood out of them, the kittens couldn't function. They didn't make it.

> Continued

>>24926721
>>24926724

Shit, the last part disappeared.

Alright, retyping from memory. Here goes.

Basically, everything improved when I was twelve and a half. I went to go see my grandmother for a few days, but begged her not to let me leave. With little effort, I got to stay for the summer. After that, she got custody of me.

Two years later (Me, 14, brother, 10/11) my mother got busted for driving when she was drunk. With my brother in the car. So, with the threat of my brother getting taken to foster care, my grandmother welcomed him into our home. He tried his old bullshit, punching me and belittling me whenever he could, but my grandmother put a stop to that immediately. He quickly learned how to treat women. It was good.

So, happy ending part.

I graduated high school with honours. I moved out, got my own place with two friends. I have my own pets, who are fixed, vetted and trained to an almost anal extent.

After years of believing I wasn't worth it, and no one would want me, I found love. Funny enough, we met off /soc/.

He's fucking amazing. I wish I had a better word for it. I really do. He's everything I could ever want in a person. He's patient, he listens, he's there when I need. He's basically my rock at this point. He's teaching me how it feels to actually be loved. To have someone reliable that isn't my grandmother. I really wish I could do him justice, but words aren't enough.

So, that's some of my story, /soc/. I glossed over a lot, skipped some sad shit, tried to make it as short as I could. If you read all of it, I'm fucking impressed. Sorry for hogging the thread!

Even though I feel ready to move on, everything still reminds me of my ex. All my tries at getting a gf in the past year have ended in me getting ghosted. Even the one girl who said yes cancelled on me within the week. I feel so unlovable and like I fucked up by leaving her. I get not to grieve for the past and all, but its hard to picture myself that happy again. I feel so alone here.

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>>24926864
Time will heal you and who knows, you might just want that scar because it looks good on you, friend

>>24919629
I have bpd too.

I finally found someone who understood me then he died in an accident. Kill me.

>>24925869
I'm curious how this continues. How to contact you?

i have been dressing like a girl in secret for awhile now, i also like being fucked by strangers off craigslist, well i got a message tonight from a man who said he worked with one of my family members and would expose me if i do not come to his house at 10:30 wednesday night, also he requested i come dressed like a slut. he has pictures and my address and everything. i dont know whats going to happen....

bonus story: i sometimes like to walk to the store dressed up and yesterday i was walking back home and my dad passed me in his car, i dont know if he recognized me or not

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>>24926864

I went through this last year. It hurts like a mother fucker, but you gotta start changing things up.
Change of scenery, rearrange shit in your house / room. Throw away anything that you don't need from your previously relationship.
I moved, and threw away a bunch of shit. Still have a few things here and there, but they remind me of the past less and less as time goes on.

When I was doing these things, I would constantly say ''I really don't want this." But you gotta do it anyway.

I asked out several girls throughout the year, and either got turned down nicely, or flat out ignored. Both suck, and make you feel worse.
The more you go through the motions, and do things you enjoy(this'll come in time) the easier it'll get. In the mean time, try to be happy by yourself. This won't always work, but it's worth the effort. Also try to watch / listen to funny stuff. It helps take your mind off'a things.

Hang in there bruh. We're gonna make it.

>>24913371
kek finally not 'i cheated on my gf and i feel baaaad'

write a book, srs, just type out 200 pages like that and send it to publishing houses - someone will edit it for you and you will be rich

Maybe I can cheer you all up. This is pasta, but it's my pasta

>be about 14
>decide to go to school dance with my friends
>my neighbor who is a girl has a friend Alice who lives on the way to the dance and we meet her
>get to the dance and we had to buy tickets in advance
>Alice and I don't have tickets so we decide to walk home together
>we get to the end of her street, which is bordered by woods, and she says "this is where kids go to make out. want to go in?"
>I guess so
>we walk down a path and sit on some rocks
>she leans in for a kiss
>it feels nice
>we start making out
>while we're kissing I more my hand and it brushes across her boob
>I apologize
>she says "no. it felt nice" and puts my hand back on her boob
>Alice is a curvy girl and her breasts have developed nicely
>massage her boob while making out with her
>she raises her sweater and takes my hand and puts it on her satin bra covered tit
>it's soft and hot
>still making out like a couple of kids. Well, we WERE kids after all
>really getting hot
>she looks at me and says "do you want to go further?"
>I say yes, get up and start walking further down the path
>Alice looks at me like I'm retarded because, well, I AM retarded
>Alice says "why don't we just walk home"
>walk her to her house say good night and walk home

and that's the night I didn't lose my virginity

>>24914055
So you do foot fetishes ?

>>24927828
I don't want to share my personal contacts, so just ask me here I guess?

I broke up with my girlfriend a few days before Christmas. She was by far my longest relationship and the first girl who liked me back instead of dumping me a week in. If there was anybody that would put up with my shit, it would be her. We had the same interest in everything and all of her first times were with me.

Then she moved. I was only able to see her for one month out of a whole year and eventually it became too much for us. You'd think we broke up because she couldn't take me anymore, but it was the strain of a long distance relationship and maybe my depression. Luckily, we still talk as if we never broke up but it hurts like hell every time she refers to me as a friend because of what I used to mean to her. The more I talk to her, the worse I feel. I'm still not over her and she claims that she's not over me. She smiles more when she's with other people than she does with me now.

Maybe I'm being too clingy. I really want to get over her.

Happy Valentine's Day.

>>24929494
That's why I pretend to stay single forever, love only brings pain and misery.

>>24914055

My parents works with a group that helps care for kids that went through similar situation as yours. As I read >>24913639 please consider saving some money for therapy. My parents work as a foster parent for the kids when they need to be taken out of the group home for a short period of time.

At least have a line to a therapist.

>>24929537
>pretend
Explain, please?

>>24925808
You are scaring me. Who are you? Seriously.
You don't know me in real life?

>>24930954
>You don't know me in real life?
No, I don't think so.

>>24928283
I doubt this thread will exist several weeks. Just add me on kik: mentalion

>>24930954
Well, actually, I think I can safely answer that question with a clear and definite "no".

>>24931080
Are you from the USA?

i cant come. even though im a male, i cant cum during sex, honestly not as great as it sounds, it ruins relationships and i wanna die right bout now,

>be me
>spend 3 and a half years towards a comp sci degree
>finish up at the end of last year
>unable to find work for two months
>apply for countless jobs and get interviews but suffer for speech impearments and mild social anxiety
>finally get a job
>data entry but whatever at this point
>do 2 weeks and then get told to pick up my game assume it's a warning
>manager is away for 3rd week and don't do any work just peer checking
>get called into work for 8am
>get told I'm being let go for not being accurate enough
>feelsbadman.jpg
>unemployed again and feeling miserable

>>24931145
Uhh.. Ok, here we go.
Am 21, 5'8 about 145 pounds, decent looking,
never took pics, had horrible anxiety.
>Live a friend, we can't afford rent.
>He phones a friend and his wife.
>All is cool for like a month
>Said friend is off fucking a chick instead of looking for work.
>His friend and wife end up leaving.
>I'm all alone.. in a 3 bedroom trailer.
>Dad pays bills for two months
>End up stealing a lot of clothes
>Crossdress and rent a shit ton of movies
>Happiest time of my life
>Drug addict sister moves in
>Throw out all of my clothes so my parents dont find out
>9 years later, horribly depressed and am alcoholic.

>>24931079
I don't have kik and I don't want one

>>24930059
Oh crap, that's not what I meant at all, English is my second language, what I meant to say is 'intend'.

>>24931110
Nope.
Why do you ask?

>>24931475
Where are you from? To know who you are.

>>24931144
Mental block?
Maybe you have an unconscious fear of getting her pregnant or something like that.
If you can cum through masturbation etc, it's most likely a psychological thing.

It seems to affect you a great deal so it might be a good idea to get it checked out.
Also might be helpful to keep in mind that you're not the only guy with this problem.

Good luck!

>>24931144
Assuming you're straight...

The point still stands though.

>>24931487
I'm not German but I've been living in Germany my whole life.

>>24913213
be me, be straight, be horny, be alone at home
go to random chatroom, find a nice guy to chat
start to chatting, about naughty things
i become horny, very horny
he asked me if i wanted to have some more fun...
ten minute later i was naked on cam for him
>_<

>>24931507
Is that the first time you've been on cam for someone?

Are you a girl or a guy?

>>24931186
Ha, all good, not my native language either (my 4th, in fact) so I automatically assumed I must've missed or misunderstood something...

I'm glad I've never been in love, though.
Hopefully never will be, either.

>>24925695
Emphasis on were

>>24931504
Assimilate you fucking g sand nigger

>>24933111
Kek, not a sandnigger but ok.

I fucked a girl in the movie theater during a showing of Frankenweenie and with the two girls I've been with I have yet to have nutted from sex with them.

>>24933342
I have yet to nut from sex
>grinding my dick hard in the paint since i was 5, literal fuckmachine, always horny but i just fap
>dick too big for most girls, bottom them out before balls deep
>too much lubrication, not enough constriction on my dick anyway
>minutes into any girl im with
>them: ohmygodimcummingsomanytimes.jpeg
>me: likehalferect.png
They're tapped out before I get anywhere close to climax or even in the direction of.

kik: disillude

Depression. Anxiety.

25/m/uk

Got married roughly a year ago and everything was good. Went back to work and shit hit the fan. Several other things happen and I get signed off for depression and anxiety.

Decide to do some shopping one day. Panic attack. Can't go out of the house anymore. Sweat, shaking, cold, paranoia.

More stuff happens while I am already off for depression. Been off work for about 8+ months now.

Feel empty most of the time. Suicidal. Scared. Think the world will never feel any impact on me living or being dead.

Not performing sexually. Used to be a beast in bed, not any more. Not up for sex on valentines. Pisses off the wife obviously.

Not managing my diabetes T1 well due to not giving a fuck about self. Gaining weight slowly due to lack of exercise.

Feeling lost, failed.

>>24929537
How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

>>24934730
25, too old to begin.

>>2493402
>>24931144

Porn addiction is your problem, either that or just physical desensitization from too much death grap fapping

>>24934740
Too old to begin?

>>24934772
I'm light-years behind other 25 year olds and it would be humiliating.

>>24934792
But do you actually want to?

>>24934823
Yes and no, the urge is there like for everyone one but my mind knows I prefer to be on my own.

>>24913371
You have a more realistic look of the world than most women do. Do not be ashamed of that.

>>24934834
What about the "love only brings pain and misery" part?
Personal experience?

>>24934843
From what I see happening with other people irl.

>>24931145

This happened to me at Zynga. Do not worry: You'll find more and better work. It sounds like a typical SCRUM-based non-helpful corporate workplace. I'm not usually one to support deflection-blame but in this case it might actually be the company at fault.

And nobody is going to blame you for being a computer science sperg. I had someone working under me who was a nonverbal foreign guy with full-blown Autism, and since we were a close team we helped him get up to speed.

I feel for you anon; it really hurts when it happens but please don't give up on jobs or yourself. If you play your cards right, you may eventually never have to work for anyone again.

>>24934792
>I'm light-years behind other 25 year olds and it would be humiliating.

Stop comparing yourself to others and putting so much emphasis on age-appropriate behavior. This is the kind of thinking that makes 50-60 year olds think it's okay to eat themselves to death, never try new hobbies, and generally give up on their lives early.

27m virgin here. Got cucked into friendzone twice in my younger years. Been too scared since.

I think I'm about done with 4chan and the whole internet culture life style. Growing up on the internet has definitely warped the way I think and act but that's ok? I'm not sure guys, I don't want to say I'm growing out of this shit but maybe I am. Have to start focusing on my career goals and carving out a path in the industry I want to be involved in. Part of me wants to just say fuck it and get a bike after graduation and leave without a destination, just go. Now I'm rambling, but thanks for listening

>>24934845
I see.
Ever been in love?

>>24936229
I've been infatuated a few times but wouldn't call love.

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>Had a great day, remember I have weed edibles hidden away
>Decide to eat two little chunks of it, playing Rock band while skyping with friends
>Mom told me to be careful with how much you eat, ate one chunk before and didn't feel anything so each even more
>30 Minutes later start to feel fuzzy and happy, smiling. Friend is surprised at how much the effects hit me
>Suddenly it starts hurting, tell friend I have to get off because I was having trouble speaking
>Full on brain being crushed feeling as I roll onto the ground drooling. Feels like my brain is a walnut and someone is dropping waves of bricks on top of me.
>Lay on the ground curled up unable to focus on anything as my vision is fucked up, feel like barfing. Crawl to toilet and keep barfing
>Idk how long this was but I laid against my bathroom wall with my eye closed as the noises around me echoed and my brain smushed
>Live with bf and room mate, from 9pm-5am I was barfing, shitting my brains out and eventually fell asleep on the floor with no pillow passed out
>Nobody ever came to check on me
>Wake up to people stomping upstairs but I can't even process words, crawl to couch and sleep
>Eventually wake up in the afternoon with hangover?
Every time I smell weed it brings me back to this moment and I hate this night.

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Met a girl on tinder. German exchange student, minor royalty. We hit it off pretty well online, but she was fatter irl than I was lead to believe.

We had dinner and talked and it wasn't bad. For me it was getting to be kind of a long day since I'd worked early that morning. I try and put her off but she insists and we end up back at my apartment.

We're listening to music and she's just thirsty as all fuck. It's not like I'd been laid in a while either so I thought, what the hell, I'd give it a try. She was just gross naked. Not like, unhygienic, just fat and unattractive, totally killing my boner.

One really long awkward drive back to the university I picked her up at and I'm just glad its over. She keeps asking me what the problem was and I tell her I just wasn't attracted to her, and she's just incredulous, like she'd never heard such a thing. Just imagine a pale, lumpy sack of potatoes and you'd have her.

The next day she messages me on facebook and just flat out says "I don't believe you didn't find me attractive blah blah blah." She still wanted to be friends and since she was going back to the Deutschreich I said whatever, okay, fine. A few days after that I wake up to a message on my normiebook where she left this long diatribe about how I must be gay since I wouldn't fuck her, how she found a REAL man to fuck her, etc etc etc. It was really rather pathetic.

In any case, that's my worst sex story.

i was an attractive young man with alot of friends and hobbies/skills whatever. although a bit autistic, I was a total perv/b-tard living the normie life, people found my tard shit charming and funny... so it was okay, i was actually pretty cool to these people, guess they found my dumb jokes witty...

i fell inlove with a girl at 21, my first love/person i gave my virginity to

5 years later, after tons of abuse, lying and cheating, I've finally had the balls to stop it all last month, now I regret it, i'm so alone...

i've struck her, ive become mistrusting, violent.. a drug addict and alcoholic. misogynistic.. etc etc.

we started a life together, got an apartment, we weren't ready, but i had faith in our love

my alcoholism has lead me to gain like 65lbs in a year, tens of thousands of dollars in debt, i'll never own my own place again until i'm 32 and pay off my debt(giving i still hold that job). i look horrible and unattractive. i do nothing but drunk and play vidya all day.

she was my chance to start a new life.

after the breakup i wanted to try and meet other women.

wtf am i to do living in my parents house, looking and acting the way I do after such an aftermath

i'm a fucking horrible person.

i've lost all my friends due to giving this woman everything i had and abandoning friendships for 2-4yrs. i moved out when it was too soon for me, i gave up on my education.. finances.. future..

I used to be a gifted pilot and programmer...

i'm back living with my parents at 26. i don't know what to do with my life. i haven't ended it because it would resault in my parents ending it too.

i might end it all if I can't trust myself to attempt finding love, it is one of the few things that I feel, I've lived for, since I was a grade-schooler. and once i found it, it was the most magical thing I could never even imagine, i will never be as happy as I was then.

>>24936391
i know I will never love or trust again... that life isn't worth living

is this why so many women are so heartless, because they were ruined by someone earlier in their lives?

is this why men call women whores all the time, were they ruined too?

I don't even really care, she was my best friend. I was never afraid to tell her how I felt about anything

I tried dating, tinder. I hate everyone. the dating scene is so dehumanizing. it's why I never had a gf until I was 21, and even then, it was a spur of the moment thing, it grew out of a silent understanding that we had of eachother over 3 years before we had the balls to call it official.

maybe I really ruined my life here. maybe I needed her more than she needed me.

..but I grew up in a traditional latin family, polygamy isn't normal. i can't accept it. not that it would matter, she lied about it instead of just fessing up

is this what love is in the 21st century?

>>24934029
Pics... cause ive seen girls fuck them selfs silly with 9"+ cocks.. so unless you massive and cant find real size queens its not your dick...

>>24922782
Well if you do come to toronto, i could use some crazzy pussy... jokes but i blaze live in t.o

>>24936294
that gave me a good laugh. Couldn't do the dirty with the hippo could you?

>>24936476
>cause ive seen girls fuck them selfs silly with 9"+ cocks..
Unless we're talking anal, it really doesn't matter if it's 9" or 19" because a vagina can only take so much.

Unless of course you meant 9"+ girth, in which case you can just ignore this post... :^)

i was bullied a lot in elementary school.
my dad and mom broke up. my sibling died. born from a middle class family. In the first year of high school someone played a prank on me and undressed my shorts.. they saw.. and the people in my class are for 4 years. Since we only have 2 sections in an ace class.
Even if im in the ace class im the most stupid person in it. i only passed because i was a good guy.
2nd year is when my crush told me im ugly. i cried in the classroom.
4th year is when i fell in love with someone in long distance.
I courted her but.. A bestfriend of mine got her.
and i was first. and i had to travel distances just to go to her. they confessed to me both that they are together and i was in the kitchen with a knife. I feel so sad that i can't fucking kill myself.
1st year of college. I dropped out because of depression. And the girl i fell in love called me and asked for emotional support because her bf is abusing her. (Saying bad jokes, Taking for granted) HERE i am a fucking idiot fell in love to her again because i feel so sad for her. I again told her my feelings... And she picked the other guy again.. I almost destroyed my computer screen because of frustration.
And im in another year of college again. Finding someone who can replace her in my heart. Everyday i remember. IT fucking hurts.
if i dont get someone in my life and i become successful. Ill justs adopt a daughter. go to a doctor to get ligated(i dont want to be sexually aroused to my daughter).
but still i want someone to rescue me. im tired of rescuing others. I have my own quote just for me.(You help others but you cant help yourself. you're pathethic).
Sorry if kind of disorganized. I just wrote what came into my mind.

>>24937723
Im really emotionally unstable desu.
Im not really that ugly. Its just my nose is big.
i have adhd, can control it now.

>>24937723
Why a daughter?

>>24936275

Those had to have been laced with something, or maybe another ingredient didn't agree with you. I've eaten too many edibles before, and while it was an overall disagreeable experience, it was nowhere near as extreme as what you experienced

>>24913244
I always found the idea of that hot, loosing your anal virginity first. Come back and tell us how you liked it!

>>24928283
Missed your later posts. What did ou start with? fingers, sharpie, comb handle?
Did you use lube at first?
How big was his dick? Where you scared?
Did it hurt much, or was he slow/gentle enough for it not too?
What where you thinking / feeling as he first put it in?
Do you plan to practice on your own to make it easier in the future?

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When I was 16 I got fucked by 4 guys in my friend's basement while the electric was out.

It was great and I licked two assholes and got a guy to lick another guy's cum off my face.

>>24937697
Both anal and vag. And yes length. you do know some women enjoy cervical penetration as well as vaginas can stretch when aroused?

>>24938753
fingers
yeah, lots of lube
he's around 17cm, I was more excited and only a little scared
it hurt a little in the start, but we started slow and gentle yeah
I didn't think much, just tried to concentrate
I do practice

>>24939065
What position/s did you try?
How would you describe the feeling?

>>24938861
Vaginas do elongate when aroused, yes.
But, again, they can only get so deep.

I have yet to hear of a 9" deep vagina.

Well...Where to start?

I am the youngest of five children, the only one to have a different father than my siblings. This, plus the massive age gap between us has always made me the black sheep.

This is made worse by my father having never wanted anything to do with me, whilst having strung me along on and off for years.

Between being ostracized and rejected, at about 8 I was raped by an older stepsister some time after my mother remarried. Used by her and her friends like a toy, I was thankful I never caught anything from them. And I never told anyone, simply because my mom was happy with my step dad and my step dad was good to me, I was just so used to things falling apart, I just wanted something stable for once, even if it meant being fondled and experimented on against my will. I had reached my limit when one of her friends brothers attempted and succeeded in mounting and penetrating me. As a gut reaction I had turned and clanmed my teeth down on his face. The others had to pull me of him, and a massive chunk of his face with me. To cover up what he had done and trying to keep me quiet, they blammed it on their highly aggressive dog and it was put down not too long after.

However, since then I have had this occasional feeling, a desire to taste iron on my tongue, and the pressure of flesh against my teeth. The flavor very specific, almost like swine but not quite. I was able and have been able to squash these desires but so many times, I've felt temptation to do it again. Most recently with my ex, who still asks me over for sex. She likes being bitten whilst being taken from behind and so many times I have just wanted to tear into her but have only built up the courage to draw blood.

>>24939395
How did you feel after biting him?
What were some of the thoughts that went through your mind?
Did they stop abusing you after that incident?

>>24939129
missionary and doggy mostly
it feels like you're just being filled inside nicely, I guess being petite just strengthens that feeling

>>24936610
Nah m8, she was just too fat. I don't mind if a girl is a little chubby, you know? But she was just a shapeless blob.