I will get something off my chest

Before my vacation I [F24] asked my boyfriend [M25] to open our relationship temporarily. Now hes regularly having sex with some girl in our apartment and Im heartbroken.
Im pretty fucking upset right now , Im going to do my best to explain everything thats happened.
Ive had an extended holiday (3 months) planned with my best friend (Tory) for years. we have always talked about it and my boyfriend (Daniel) knew we were going to do it. She finally finished college this December and we put our plan into action.
Another friend (Michelle) went on a similar trip years ago. She and her friend both had long term boyfriends at the time, and they both ended up cheating on the trip. A while later their friendship fell apart, and they both revealed each others infidelity. It got ugly. Michelle and her boyfriend broke up, her (ex)friend stayed with her boyfriend but from the sounds of it their relationship was severely damaged.

>>24855948
At first I thought they were absolutely horrible for doing it, but after talking to her i could see their side of things - months of no sexual contact/release, being in a party atmosphere, of course there would be temptation. She's young, attractive and gets lots of male attention. The encounter was purely sexual, she was drunk, and they used protection. The next day the boy was out of her life completely and that was it. I vehemently disagreed with doing all this behind her boyfriends back though.
Talking with michelle about a month ago, she asked what Im going to do about Daniel, I honestly hadnt thought about it like that, I felt like i could easily go 3 months without having sex. And id never want to betray Daniel's trust. But Michelle made a good case for "opening" our relationship while i was away - she said (paraphrasing): " Of course you love Daniel, but traveling is all about experiencing new things, and that includes sex. Youll say it wont happen now, but you just have to trust me that once you're there you'll feel different. Daniel is going to wonder either way if you're fucking other guys on your trip. Just be upfront with him and see what he says."

>>24855951
And so that night I talked to him about it. I explained that i wasn't going to be looking to fuck every guy i see that im attracted to, and that my love for him was as strong as ever, but I also wanted to be able to act freely and party like other girls my age. It was more contingency if anything - I dont plan on fucking other guys, but if it happens it happens. A night of partying half the world away with people Ill never see again shouldnt ruin what we had here. Id insist on using protection. And of course he would have the same opportunity as me, he would be able to freely see girls if he chose to. He wasn't happy, but said he understood. He said "You've tied my hands. If i tell you I forbid it, Ill still be worried if you're being true to your word. By expressing that this is what you want, theres nothing i can do to stop you".
Daniels a bit of a homebody - he goes out with his friends on occasion, but most nights he spends in our apartment playing video games or watching netflix. Given his lifestyle i wasnt overly worried hed be hooking up with all these random girls.
Me and Tory left on February 17th. Its been eye-opening and a ton of fun. But its also been stressful. We havent done any partying, we talked to some guys one night but nothing came of it. Tonight i checked my email at an internet cafe and there was a message from Kay, a sweet old lady who lives above us in our apartment complex.

>>24855959
"I have debated for days whether to send this to you and potentially ruin your vacation. But you deserve to know the truth. Daniel has been seeing another woman since you left. There is no doubt that he is seeing her, she has come over most nights and i have heard them being intimate. You deserve so much better, i'm so sorry."
I thought I could handle this open relationship arrangement. I cant. This message shattered my heart into a million pieces. This isnt what I intended at all, I wanted the freedom to act in the moment. He is taking this as a free pass to regularly fuck some girl. And i have a feeling i know exactly who it is, a girl from his work who was always overly flirty with him.
I regret ever taking Michelles advice and opening my stupid mouth. I dont want him to fuck other girls, I dont want to fuck other guys. I want this slut out of my appartment NOW!! I am a fucking wreck and need other womens opinions. Tory has been so unhelpful, basically telling me to grow up and that i got what i asked for. No shit? People arent allowed to change their minds or regret their decisions?!

>>24855968
How do i go about contacting him and expressing that this needs to stop NOW without coming across like a crazy hypocritical bittch? And let him know that I will 100% be faithful on my trip? I dont even know how I am going to look at him when I get home, I am beyond hurt, this feels so wrong and so sick.
I am going to bed now to try and get some sleep, I will check and respond to all comments. Thank you

>>24855945
Tl dr?

Tory was right, you got what you asked for. You wanted to fuck other dudes, not you're unhappy cause you failed and he didn't. Suck it up.

>>24855980
*now

oh, hun ):
21 f here and you got yourself into a bad situation. If you want to stay with him then you need to be upfront with him that you've done some thinking and you're not ok with it, then casually ask if he's tried. If he's honest then take it from there but I'm not sure he will be considering he's used it as a pass to regularly fuck this other girl.

Do you think that this could be a hint that he would have cheated in the future? Since you said you think it's someone that he knew.

>>24855978
please be considerate before posting

>>24855971
Theres no going back. You fucked up.

>>24856036
well for what I've red you fucked up big time

This made my day, thank.

It's entirely your fault, you can't blame this on anyone. You could've just tried to be faithful and not fuck around, 3months? Are you such a horny bitch you can't go without sex for that timeframe, knowing you would get it again with your bf as soon as you get home?

Your only idea behind proposing an open relationship for that time was so you get a free pass to sleep around, don't kid yourself, you can't sugarcoat this.
Party like girls your age? As if every 24yo is a slut... You're 24 and in a relationship, you can still party without fucking around.
Your bf wasn't happy about it, but he will assume you only asked for it since you want to fuck around, so he is doing the same. Just because this didn't go your way (you get to be a slut and he waits at home for you while not being a slut too) you can't change that anymore. No matter what you do, you are a hypocritical bitch since you are now upset he is doing what you intended to do.

You should've thought about this possibility, but the fact you didn't clearly shows this was just for your sake, not your relationship. You could have told your friend no, you don't need that and your relationship is strong and all, but you chose the easy route. You got what you asked for, she is right, suck it up and deal with it.

You can still feel free to break up with him, that's your decision.

>>24855990
If you start to poke around he will get suspicious, unless he's an idiot. Using backhanded tactics only shows your relationship is already doomed since you can't be honest with each other, there is no trust, might as well break up.

>>24855971
You fucked up. You wanted to be a little slut and go off galavanting around freely fucking anyone. This is 125% your fault.

Lmao stupid whore gets BTFO

>>24856099
This was a bit harsh but, youre completely right. >>24855945
Listen. The fact of the matter is that you had the intention of possibly having sex with someone who was not your significant other. You made a mental note that you could possibly have sex with another person, because "If it happens, it happens" you really dont have the right to be upset about this. You expected to be getting laid while he was just contempt with being alone for three months. You should have known you would not have been okay with this. you should have thought it through more. And most importantly, you should have just tried to be faithful.

I mean you didn't think that maybe he thought "Oh...maybe she's trying to get away from me." or "Maybe I'm not enough for her so now she wants to fuck around"? That's what I would have thought. You don't leave that option on the table and then get upset that things like this happen. It's not a matter of being inconsiderate it's just the truth when people say that you kinda fucked up.

When it comes to contacting him and fixing this mess, maybe start with an apology and then let him know how this whole ordeal made you feel and the conversation can go from there. Won't guarantee success but it's all I got.

>>24855945
Old pasta from r/relationships move along now kiddies

>>24856978
I've been baited