secrets/vent/feels thread

>>24652698
bump

22f


Sever autism, I never had a lot of friends, and I was never able to socialize normally, I think about killing myself all the time.

I no longer consider myself Christian so I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, but I see all this stuff about people receiving gifts or visiting family, or even receiving the gift of being able to visit family, and it makes me a bit depressed.

Christmas used to be a holiday I looked forward to. My mom couldn't afford much, and my grandparents were frugal but always managed to at least get me one big gift. It was just a really nice time opening and giving gifts, seeing my grandparents, and decorating the tree and the outside of the house.

My mom went crazy in my teens, grandma had a stroke, and everything just abruptly stopped. Mom became abusive and Christmas became hell (got hit and screamed at for trying to set up the tree one year, got treated like shit another year when I could only afford to buy my mom a CD). Now both parents and my grandmother are gone, so there's no chance in even seeing any of my family for the holidays.

I just wish I could decorate a tree and spend time with family, giving and receiving gifts just like the old days.

>>24653263
Make your own. You can do it :) Be more cheerful and confident as you know what you want. Hold to it tight, family takes a lot of time. You are good person but dont burn bridges behind stay open minded. Work Hard. :) Cheers

nobody wants to talk to me and i don't even know why. i had someone message me the other day and now she avoids me like i was a leper. why am i always being ignored?

I have a really hard time talking to girls

Money is really tight

I want my grandparents to pass away so that we can get on with our lives

I don't know how to get where I want to go in life and while I know I'm not gonna give up it is humiliating to keep having to seemingly fall behind the rest of my friends

24m

the only long lasting relationship I had was with an emotionally abusive girl

I can't handle anyone who's nice to me all the time. I was raped when I was younger and have a fetish for older women now.

I'm so messed up mentally and all I want to do is learn to draw so I can put my emotions somewhere not in my head.

>Raped two grills...allegedly.

>Convicted sex offender but not for the alleged rapes.

>Meet grills in college, lie about my age, name, past, fuck them, take pictures/videos, get them to fall in love with me, see how long I can control them before they finally leave me or I get bored of them and cut them loose.

>I find sex boring but hunting down these 18-21 year old grillz is fun and exciting.

>>24653450
This is why we can't have nice things, anon.

>>24653450
Yikes, you suck

I'm sexually frustrated and kind of want to rail my boss. I don't even know why; she's maybe a 6. Personality, I guess?

Too bad she's my boss. Also her boyfriend is huge and I'm a manlet.

>>24653450
Kill yourself.

My ex cheated on me with a really famous artist. I am okay at drawing (not good but good enough for normies to commission me for a few bucks), but i don't draw very often anymore. I get out of the mood when I notice how her drawings are everywhere. Usually see her stuff on 4chan every other day, for example.

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As a 25 year old man I guess I've pretty much lost my libido. I'm stuck between "this is fucking terrible feeslbadman" and knowing it doesn't matter because I'm not involved in a sex life in anyway.
I should probably go to the doctor still, but I feel stupid about fixing something I'll never use. But I'm afraid of something being horribly wrong with me
but I also kind of don't care because sometimes I want to kill myself

Whatya do

>>24653465

Hey I don't completely ruin them; if anything I make it easier for other guys to fuck them.

Most of my prey are pretty but shy, sheltered, 'Girls Next Door' types; I'm sweet and patient with them while I bring them out of their shells.

That's when they usually fall in love with me; it's then that the deviant sexual acts usually begin. Drugs, rough sex, daddy talk, cam shows, videos/pics, etc.

>>24653478

I say 'raped' very loosely.

The girls claimed to have rape fetishes and I told them that they just liked the idea of rape but wouldn't like it if really happened to them.

They said I was wrong and I told them that if I did it, they wouldn't see it coming, I wouldn't stop and they wouldn't like it.

Let's just say I was right...with both girls.

I'm sure they're fine.

I live with my mom in a cockroach infested house and she is a bat shit druggy that takes care of my grandma that has Alzheimer's and my grandma shits and pisses all over the fucking house and I'm scared to move out to my dad's cuz I think she will abandon my grandma and my mom would be found dead somewhere fml I wash clothes at my aunt's cuz my mom washes and drys my grandmas shitty clothes at our house so all the other clothes and towels smell fucking bad. I dropped out of high school twice and now I'm a senior in a independent study program trying to graduate I only have 50 credits as of today. We have 3 cats I'm extremely allergic to them and we got 2 dogs, I love them and all, but fuck the allergies are cancer. Idk what the fuck I'm going to do once I graduate. I kinda want to go into the military, work my way up, study economics and us gov and whatever I need to and run for president in 2036 but idk.

>>24653512

Oh no I'm not giving a fuck about how you allegedly raped them (because you did)

I'm triggered by the "Hunting prey" attitude. Dude, most humans beings consider you a sick bastard. Stop.

>>24653512
dude that's really fucked up

>>24653450
>grills
Hank Hill stop huffing propane

I'm starting to have my doubts about starting University in spring. I did the 2 year CC meme, and now I'm going into GIS/computer cartography. Not really sure why. I don't have a 5 year plan. I don't even know what kind of career you can get with it.

But the only reason is because I want to live on my own, even if it is going to be hard. I want to get out and do something with my life. I just hope I'm making the right decision .

>>24653532

I'm hunting the most dangerous game, comrade.

>>24653537

Which part?

My phone got stolen. I act like it's cool, it's just a cellphone, it's material.
But honestly, I cry every night since it got stolen (Friday). I saved up for half a year for that phone, I can't even buy a cheap 120usd smart phone at the moment.
I feel like it's my fault it got stolen.

>>24653555
"120usd cheap" fuck off stop crying

>>24653496
When we're frustrated with something else, how do we react? Generally by lashing out at something that is accessible: this can be as mild as venting to a close friend, yelling at a pet after a bad day, punching a wall or a pillow. Sexual frustration should be considered in the same light: you are 'lashing out' at something accessible. This goes doubly in a situation where you may not be meeting or interacting with females outside of your work.

>>24653504
Perhaps it would be good to take some time away from 4chan. Love art for art's sake, don't let it be distorted by comparing yourself to the person your ex cheated on you with.

>>24653511
Libido is often tied to psychological state. Perhaps it's not that complicated and it's a physiological problem, perhaps it is that complicated and you need to talk to someone. Regardless, health care professionals are there to help, and if you have the ability to consult one, I would strongly recommend it. What if you meet someone with whom you wish to pursue a sexual relationship with? You're still young enough where any damage or underlying issues can be addressed (and repaired) in a timely fashion.

>>24653450
>>24653512
>>24653543
May Lord Jesus Christ ease the pain of the lives you have destroyed, and may he have mercy upon your soul on the day of Judgement.

>>24653529
You need to start taking care of yourself. 'Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps' isn't easy when you've lived a life of regret, which is all you'll get when you're willfully putting your future at stake for the sake of others.

>>24653542
If you're 20 years old, I wouldn't be so concerned about committing to a five year plan just yet. You're still early enough where you can start down a path that you would imagine leading to future success. Talk to an adviser, or even just google. I would imagine that most are related to government jobs, but don't let that limit you. That's a practical, specific skill set that has a wide variety of applications.

>>24653563
As far as smartphones go, $120 is fairly cheap. Regardless they saved up for a long amount of time for that phone, which means that either a) it was very expensive or b) they don't make that much money.

>>24653555
>I feel like it's my fault it got stolen.
Why is that? You should never fault yourself for the bad actions of other people. Is there any way you could recover it?

I have the opportunity to cheat on my girlfriend with an attractive milf who'll be cheating on her husband. Leaning toward going through with it because I don't want to turn down the adrenaline rush or all the sex

I wished you wanted to meet me now

Let's see I remember one time my lady friend (brother friend) name let's say Ellie so just in case if she ever find out she won't know it's me... It was her birthday and it was at our house. My brother and other friends wanted to go to the pool. She was wearing a green three buttons top,a black bra B34 I know by heart. Medium size zebra panties( black and white) but the top part was black Lacey ish with lime green on the tip. She change in to her green bikini with green and white bikini bottom to swim. When they left I went to the room where she change. The clothes she wore before the swimsuit was there... I grab her bra and smell it then her dirty panties. I know she finish doing Zumba a dance class. But I wanted her to catch me in the act so I Jeff off in her panties and cum in them. I didn't wash them. I left it to dry because she chose another man than me.. (Long story she made a promise to me that end up being a lie so this was payback) I would say after 2-3 hours they were swimming she came back. I put everything back it was before because I change my mind. But you know what the weird part was she put on her original clothes with out hesitation. Came out the room I know she put her underwear back on. I was starting to get horny again since she was wearing the cum panties (I took a peek when she was leaning to her cake) I never told her what I did but hem again she did deserve it.

21 m

All of my friend literally avoid me, why idk in the past 2 years I went from having 10 good friends to literally 1 friend (that also somehow we can't even Hang out)

And I literally feel I don't fit anywhere in any place I did

I'm doing. Shit in my studies when I normally could get 90 effortless and yet this pass 6 month I'm getting 70 50 even 48

Well I guess you can call this another secret from me. Hmmm.. Well I got a bras and panties addiction. If I see a bra strap or panty line I go crazy after what I mean by that is no matter what I get to at least touch or smell the underwear of teenage girl. ;p I did about 21 girls that were 8cousins,7 friends, and 4 coworkers and two strangers The recent one was two lady coworkers the had the biggest boobs. So around the last week or so I took two pairs of bras from each of them. (They didn't even know I had them.) I play with them in my pockets. Until I head home and put them in my drawers. I collect a lot over the years. The most bra and panties I took was that last girl in my story. I think about 7-8 bras and 6-7 pairs of panties from her. I wanted her black bra with red polkadots but I think she have it in her house... It like the most times I seen her wear it back then. She got new bras I'm still trying to see how many new one she have about like five or seven or more.

My dad raped my sister and I from the time I was 13 and she was 11. He'd groom us for sex and made us addicted to his abuse. He knew how to make us both cum so hard so that it confused us into enjoying it. He would also make us make out, finger each other and eat each other out. This went on until I was 18. He died of cancer 2 years ago. Karma is a bitch and I'm glad he's dead. Now I'm a sex addict. I love fucking older men and love daddy daughter role play because of his abuse. My sister and I hook up still when we get drunk. It's fucked up but only she knows how to make me cum like he did.

I take being ignored very seriously, I feel really dumb about it, but I get really worked up inside when people don't acknowledge me.

I think it stems from the fact my family never uses thank you's or show any form of appreciation, they only ever get mad.

Or maybe I'm just being a little bitch, I don't know. I do know at this point if I do ever get a gf, she'll probably leave me due to the baggage I'll bring along. Or maybe I could just bury it like I've done everything else all these years, no one deserves my burdens along with theirs, that's pretty selfish after all.

I'll stop ranting now.

>>24652698

i fapped to augustunderground and salo. there's something wrong with me.

>>24654112

Seriously isn't the right word, personally fits better.

>>24653875

>>24653875
I wanna fuck you and your sister im soo into this type of sex family sex i love it

>>24653875
Anyway i could contact you off of here ?

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>>24654162
What do u wanna talk about?

>>24653450
The hunt... Being married now i miss it very much...

Im a switch. I can be very dominant or very submissive. I get off by getting other people off. Its not really my secret but i love being treated like a slave or pet. Im 170 lbs 5'10" and a pretty athletic build for being in the military. Me and my wife go to concerts and festovals all the time and she walks me on a leash, chain collar, etc. I just blindly follow her with beer and cigrettes getting jeered on by people. Best part of my year every year. Carolina Rebellion.

>>24653168
Are you me anon? The lack of socialization is really taking a toll on my life right now. I can barely hold a conversation and even the most basic things make me nervous. I'm not sure if I'm literally autistic or if I'm just crippled by my lack of experience in life.

>>24653293
I know this feel man. Maybe you were coming off a bit too strong? Like, asking too many questions or getting a bit too personal? Make someone online feel the slightest bit annoyed or uncomofrtable and they'll easily drop you and move on to someone else.

My girlfriend has barely had sex with me over the last 6 months or so. I recently got so desperate that I've been seeking out bbws (my own preferrence) on craigslist. I've even let a couple guys blow me. Aside from that our relationship is great. I just absolutely need sex and have to get it elsewhere.

25 m

6'4, 220-230lbs good body, attractive

Orphan, struggled with school cause I was always switching houses for fighting.

All my friends have good stable jobs and make decent money and are starting to get into serious relationships with their partners.

I work as a male dancer at a shifty club. I'm made to do "Extra work" backstage which includes everything from private dances to bare knuckle brawling with co workers.

Basically feel like a failure when in my friends company. None of them know what I do for a living.

I still love her... my wife doesn't know

>>24654575
but i wasn't doing that at all. i didn't ask anything personal. i just tried to keep it lighthearted and fun

Starting earlier this year I caught my wife flirting with people online and talking shit about me. It started with just talking shit about me. But as any of you know, guys online see an unhappy woman playing games online just begging to allow more drama in. After I found out she said she was just venting because she doesn't have any friends irl. I understood that. She vents to me about everything except me haha. Then the compliments started rolling in when she started adding people on Facebook and talking to them in other forms than just xbox. Messenger, texting and even phone calls. Saying how beautiful she is and how funny she is and how good of a mother she is and stupid shit that try can't possibly know after only talking online for a few weeks. At first she didn't reply too much to those remarks but eventually she started to welcome them and even flirted back. Even waiting until I went to bed to talk to these people. There were even lots of "joking" about flying up here to "smash" while I was at work. Anyways I found out after all that. She said she never meant to hurt me and she was being selfish. I forgave her. Fast forward to last month I found out she was talking to one of them again. She didn't know that I knew. All of a sudden she wants to try an open relationship but swears it has NOTHING to do with any of the guys she was talking too earlier. I caught her in her lie and made her fess up. I gave it a week to actually consider if I could be capable of an open relationship and I honestly have no interest. Before I could tell her my decision she decided for me and said it's not worth risking our marriage. I agreed but after all of this I just can't trust her any more. Now everything that comes out of her mouth I feel is fake. Or just telling me what I want to hear. I've read her messages recently and that guy still flirts ALOT but she is ignoring the flirts and trying to go back to friendship. Even though I told her that won't work.

>>24655099

But she isn't actually shutting his flirts down specifically. Just saying shit like " You know my husband reads our messages?" Or something like "you known I can't because of my husband." So this guy knows that SHE still wants it. So he continues. She's bullshitting me. And technically this is all a secret because I have told anyone. Until now. Yay 4chan make me feel better

>>24655119
This was all typed on my phone while riding passenger on a bumpy road. Excuse the spelling or poor sentence forming. Got me all worked up thinking about it.

>>24654770

If you can't find pride nor joy on that type of work, is there anything that keeps you off from searching something else ?

>>24654575

I treat people like they are complete idiots (from my perspective) when talking to them and that usually seems to do the trick to not scare people.

>>24655119
Consueling

Seriously have a professional help you guys out before you do anything drastic

If she really wants to make it work she will agree

>>24655131

Related to that story.. how can people find themselves in those situations ? I mean, there must be more people that can tell if they feel something for other persons or not, and act upon that.

This lack of logic is what baffles me about the common man xD

>>24653263
Totally what >>24653284 said!
Get good friends. Pick your best female friend as spouse and make best family EU. Or NA if that's your thing. Or whatever.

I understand that it really sucks now, but I hope you are able to look forward and make a good life :)

I think I inherited my mother's depression. I'm married to a wonderful woman who I love so much but there are some days where I just can't keep it together. She makes me so happy but the depression makes me make bad decisions. I'm bi and never got enough of a chance to experiment and I keep talking to guys, promising to give them head. I never plan on meeting them but the temptation gets worse and worse the more I do it. I really don't want to but I feel like I can't help myself

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She left me because she wasn't ready for a relationship. She was the only person where I actually felt something besides a need to have meaningless sex and yet me and her had so much fun every day, even when we fought sometimes. What really broke it was that I'm unsure of my faith. And she's a Baptist. I'm willing to put our differences aside but she can't. She doesn't see that it doesn't matter, that god goes by many names and several forms but that's ok. She'll learn.
She said she was too messed up because of what happened this summer. An abusive relationship, a following abortion, and the covering up of the problems. She was grounded, and I was up in the clouds. She brought be closer to the ground, and I lifted her up for a while.
She's not the type to lie to me and hurt me. She won't talk to me even though it's almost been a week. I just want to check up on her and see if she's doing alright...

The best way I could sum it up is that Tool song, Schism. The last thing I did was convince her to listen to the band. To help her not only heal, but to see where I was coming from.

God I hope she's ok...

I was perscribed Lexapro but won't take it because I'm currently 120 pound and 5'6" and I've been told antidepressants make you gain weight.

I'd rather be anxious and skinny than happy and fat.

>>24652698
I hide things from people, for instance the last several months my mother has been in and out of hospital and she's had a heart attack.
I haven't told any of my IRL or good friends, I already feel like a bitch enough as it is and I don't want to sound like I'm looking for sympathy.
There's this online friend that jokes with me about taking her virginity and I simultaneously really really do and don't want to tenderly fuck the ever living shit out of her.
I hate it when female friends or acquaintances call me sweet, it makes me feel like a pushover and that I'll always be lonely.
I miss the one time I felt loved and my old dogs.

>>24655342
To add to this I'm in love with someone whose family I'm scared will never accept me.

>>24655126
Not many companies want to hire someone whose only work experience is as an erotic dancer

Also hard to quit because of all the illegal shit going on

I feel like I waste my potential way too much.
I have been told my whole life how fucking smart I am and how big my IQ is, but I feel like I'm not doing anything of value and my grades are not as good as I could have them. I even have way more of a chance with girls than I let myself. I'm allegedly smart, charismatic and handsome yet I feel like I haven't made use of any of it.
I know how stupid it is to bitch about this, though I'm just getting more and more frustrated by it as I go through life and get lower results than I feel I should.

Happy Birthday to you. You said you'd rather hurt me once than many times but truthfully it'll hurt me for the rest of my life. I miss you and your mind, and I won't ever get to enjoy your company again. I've pushed everyone away and now I feel like you many years ago having zero friends. It's truly hard. I've decided to give up because of everything else in my life that I cannot overcome.
I have no doubt you'll cope in life because you're intelligent, and strong unlike me.

>>24655119
I would honestly beat the shit out of her.

>>24653664
Have you literally tried using the word literally less, it would literally help you out I would literally bet. Unfortunately that's just how life goes, our pools of resources for communication shrink from our time as youths as people grow into their own thing. Keep your chin up, you'll find the crowd that fits you again.

>>24655223
Why don't you talk to her about it anon? Maybe she has secret fetishes as well, Maybe one would be capable of indulging another.

>>24655364
No one's inlaws ever really truly accept their kindred's significant others, if they do there's something wrong usually gold digging, Their feelings are irrelevant, You and your partner are in the relationship, not them.

>>24653284
>>24655167
>Pick your best female friend as spouse and make best family
I mean, that wouldn't be biologically possible considering I'm female, lol.

Thanks though, both of you.

I seriously hope that we do set something up over winter break.

She did say that "We can always give it a shot!"

Which is kinda an on the fence type of yes?

>>24653543
>>24653512
>>24653450

i like you. i like you a lot.

if i wasn't a fat waste, i'd do the same. i have all the skills except women don't want to fuck me.

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18m

I've never had a real friend outside of those I've met online. My parents prevented me from ever forming a lasting relationship with anyone. I have very low self-esteem and have difficultly socializing. I'm also a khv, of course.

Ok here is one only ONE person i know irl knows...

I lost my virginity when I was little to my older brother who was in highschool. He seriously used me like a fucktoy growing up. I never was even allowed to have a boyfriend, but he could date girls. It was a weird dynamic, and MAYBE borderline abusive.... But i MOSTLY enjoyed it.

We VERY RARELY hook up occassionaly still.

>>24656062
>Skills

What skills? You're fat, just jump on a girl, press her down with your weight and try to find your dick before she starts to scream.

Or better yet, lose the fat, try to become a decent human being, stop hating girls for not allowing you the holy grail of pussy, and get laid like normal people do.

>>24656163
>MAYBE Borderline Abusive

Kek. Seek therapy, seriously. the most thorough abuse often leads to the victims enjoying it on some level at least.

See: >>24653875

This isn't a "wierd dynamic" - as an older brother myself, I can not comprehend how much of a fucked up sociopath you need to do something like this.

I consider myself a kinsey 5.9. Always wondered what it would be like to be with a woman. I'm conventionally attractive but I don't think I'll ever have the chutzpah to make it happen, mostly because if I discovered I wasn't into it, I'd feel super awkward and horrible.

>>24656022
So, what should I take this answer as?

Softest No Possible or like I said, an "On the Fence" yes?

While everyone else worked on dating, I worked on my career. Fast forward to a little bit after graduating college, about everyone I know has found love. I moved away to get a nice job that pays a lot. When I get home from work I have a nice place, but no-one to share it with. It's empty and lonely.

>>24656346
Ha, While everyone else worked on their careers / life, I had to work to learn to live on my head.

I'm happy with myself and not lonely, but now insecure people annoy me. Well, most people annoy me. Bloody idiots.

>>24656263

I dont need therapy, I know its wrong. I also know that im otherwise a normal person. Like OP said, we all have secrets

>>24656298
text her or ask her "Do you want to give it a shot?" or you'll never know for sure.

>>24656564
A few days have already passed. But that's what I shoulda said.

Meh, I'll just check in after finals, for when we said we would try do something

i'm a heroin addict
nobody knows that, friends doesn't know, familly doesn't know the only one that knows it's my dealer but that's an exception right ?

This year I've been dealing with the trans, lesbian, and female experience. Been scary, wonderful, and confusing.

Just so many mixed emotions. Trying to pretend I'm not scared and lonely (gave up the girl of my dreams to find my gender). My friends seem to think I'm brave, living as me 24/7. I think I just don't care as much about my safety/am still somewhat suicidal.

Also, trying not to have feelings for my best friend. That is a confusing struggle.

>>24656627
I assume she dumped you due to the trans thing?

I've been a closeted homosexual my whole life. Growing up, I wasn't actually sure what I was, so I just behaved "straight" and attempted few relationships, which were usually short. At one point I believed I didn't need to fall in love or share my life with someone, and I kinda closed my romantic feelings from everyone. Now, only a few years ago, I've become comfortable with my homosexuality, but I still haven't told anyone, and I haven't dated/hooked up with anyone, mainly because I live with my parents and I can't mentally come out to them while living with them. So I've been lurking on /soc/ to try and get my feet wet anonymously, so I can adjust when I do come out.

>>24656677

Good luck !

>>24654575
I feel the same way, I always have such an uncomfortable feeling whenever I am speaking people face to face, idk how to really explain it.

>>24656544
Used like a fuck toy
Weren't allowed to date but he was
You admit it was a weird power dynamic
You admit you mostly liked it, underlining mostly makes me think sometimes you didn't and you are just trying to justify it
I'm assuming he was your first?
I'm assuming since you weren't allowed to date you didn't have normal relationships through highschool?
Have you had a relationship with someone not your brother yet? Like a boyfriend, someone you love, that isn't your brother? Did he treat you like garbage and cheat on you? Kind of like your brother did? This shit repeats, it always does.

>>24656677
Have you fucked women?

>>24656654

Yes and no! Over the symptoms of my gender repression.

Due to some early trauma and a trigger I didn't know about yet, had a panic attack. She responded cruelly. I checked out emotionally and began focusing on myself rather than us. Was still encouraging myself to repress my gender "for her."

The next time we had a fight, she wanted to break up (which happened after all of our fights, which were definitely too few), and this time I didn't try to stop it. Probably couldn't have at that point. Certainly glad (well, that's not the word) I didn't.

Anyway, mostly bummed because she was my best friend for years before we started dating. Now she would rather I didn't exist.

>>24657035
Try being honest with her. Tell her all this yourself and don't hide how you feel. Maybe she could sympathize with what you're going through and you could salvage this thing.

>>24657026
Attempted would be a good word. Could never really get it up during show time.

I'm a guy who has a fiancee that I've been with for 4 years, half of a year spent engaged
We're absolutely perfect for each other, are attracted to each other, and resolve conflict really well, and come out the other end of conflicts knowing each other more, and loving each other more.
1 year into the relationship, I started going on Omegle video, and got into being dominated by anons who claimed to be female, but let's face it, most of them most likely were not.
I've been able to confide in my fiancee about literally everything except this. It's my last secret, and I can't fucking make myself tell her. I talked to a chaplain who's helped me stop completely for the last 9 months, but the guilt of not telling the love of my life is wrecking me pretty bad.
I just keep trying to convince myself that because I was discreet, and never literally contacted any of these people, that I wasn't cheating, but she won't see it that way.
I don't know what to do, and it makes me miserable.

I have a really intense foot fetish and would give anything to solefuck a lady right now.

18/F/US

All ive wanted most of my life is a child and im great with kids. But Im low on eggs now and im deeply afraid of not being able to have a child. I have no friends or social skills. So no BF. I'm an off and on NEET and my only friend lives 4 states away. I honestly think about asking to have a child with him when he visits because im desprate and hes the only person i can have a successful conversation with. It isnt a good idea, i want my child to have a consistent father. But any day could be my last fertile one.

Adoption could be hard to get because of my past and lack of a spouse. And its not really the same as my own.

>>24657455
Have some of your eggs frozen?

>>24657455
Tell me femanon, are you a good artist?

>>24657455

If you're into tall, fat, blonde rednecks and wanna move to Texas then I could be your baby daddy. :^)

>>24657504
Thats actually not a bad idea. Ive heard about it but for some reason thought it was expensive. I'll definitely look into that, thanks.
>>24657518
I didnt say i did art but, uh, i do. Wouldn't say i was good but im not bad either.

Do you...know me?

>>24657544
I heard it can be like 15 grand

>>24657544
No but I'd like to know you as hardworking 20yr old male who would love to be a father someday ;)

I'll post my kik if interested

>>24657561
It'd be hard for me to get that but definitely worth it.

>>24657576
The odds we dont live far away from each other are slim but ill give it a shot. Whats your kik?

I have no social life and I hate it. I haven't spend time out with friends since high school. (I'm 26). I wish I could find people with similar interests. I hate going to work all day then coming home to my ps4 and no one to talk to.

My lack of a friend group saps my confidence since it makes me feel like a loser and that causes me to get self conscious and anxious when I try to talk to new people. I wish I had the nuts to make new friends.

>>24657607
He's probably on the continental US if he responded.

Look, if you know your biological clock is ticking and you really want this then you have to put on your big girl panties and act. Here's what you do:

- Get in touch with anon.
- Have him send you pics of his STD test to show that he's clean.
- Figure out when you'll be at your most fertile using a fertility app.
- Have him visit during that time and get a hotel for a few days.
- Make sure he doesn't jerk off for a few days before arriving.
- Have him cum in your pussy many times.

Enjoy your kid. You'll make a great mom!

My secret is simple. I'm married for 3 years, but don't love my wife. She doesn't take many steps to improve herself. I see escorts when I can (women and trans). Love traps and working on setting up FWB relationships with other married women too. I could divorce since no kids, but family pressure makes that hard so I'm coasting right now while I get my other stuff (job, advancement) in order.

Really think I would be happier with a shemale or a really kinky girl.

>>24657636
Creampie isn't kinky, bro. Creampie just means: get a GF who's on BC and will let you fuck her bare back because the two of you are exclusive.

I'm really in love with my bf but he sucks in bed and I tried bringing up the idea of an open relationship but he wouldn't even consider it. I thought about cheating and got on an app and set a date to hook up but I started to feel guilty and deleted the app and now I'm back to square 1.

I never get too involved in threads in this board. I don't want to find somebody and get too attached, and that kinda has happened before.

I fucking suck at separating emotions and this is a huge handicap for me.

Fuck. It's so difficult to force myself to be more detached, it doesn't feel natural.

>>24657614
I have work it the morning so i gotta sleep but ill add you now
>>24657623
Sounds like a plan c;

>>24657687
How are you going to raise a kid by yourself at 18? Freeze your eggs. Or trap a rich old dude that wants to nut in an 18 year old.

>>24657667
If your boyfriend is stupid enough not to want to improve his sex skills for you then break up and find a new BF. Don't be stupid going through cheating stuff especially when you don't have anything serious (that you posted about, anyway) tying the two of you down.

>>24657667
Teach him how to fuck you better?

>>24654901
I don't know then. There could also be the possibility that they're busy, but whatever it is try not to get too hung up on it. Paranoia admittedly gets the best of me whenever something like that happens.

>>24655126
I don't think I could adopt that sort of approach. Wouldn't feel genuine since people intimidate me far too much.

>>24656826
For me it can feel overwhelmingly surreal, especially when I look in their eyes. It doesn't feel as intense lately as I've been going outside more but there's still the occasional moment that makes me question my progress and whether I'm doing enough.

>>24653372
Oh my god anon that's heavy. That's good that you can recognize when you're being abused though. Some people don't realize it and it goes on and on.

>>24652698
Male here

Desperately want a very submissive chick, I've been looking for a long time but nothing. Any suggestions besides fetlife? It's not that popular by me i guess.

>If you're a female, please give your thought on what's best for me. Also, if you're maybe interested.

>>24653529
Go to a state college when you graduate. Apply for financial aid on fafsa.gov. You'll get a fuckload of free money from need-based grants, which you can then use to pay for your education and housing for four years.

Get social services involved with your grandma. She needs to be in a nursing home where she can receive proper care.

>>24657864
I would also apply for scholarships and in the application essay I would write about your fucked up home life.

Male here. I have a stable, long term relationship with an amazing girl, but I have a strong desire to fap for/piss for other girls on cam. Possibly even IRL. I think I may have a cuckquean fetish, and I know for a fact that she's against that, but that just kind of turns me on more. I kind of feel like a bad person, but at the same time, part of me doesn't care.

Pretty common secret I guess.

I like to let dogs fuck me and it gets me off like nothing else.

>>24657895
Male or female? I'm not personally into bestiality, but the idea is interesting to hear about, and I'd like to know what you enjoy about it.

>>24657905
Considering you asked gender, I'm going to assume you hope I'm female and would only be interested if I say I am. If you were actually interested I'd be all for talking about it, which is too bad.

Not like it matters though, I could be either, this is anonymous.

>>24657895
This is common?

>>24657916
Either way, I'm interested in learning more. It's more to help give a connection between the two, if one exists.

>>24657919
Zoophilia is the most common "uncommon" fetish. In 100% anonymous surveys a pretty high percentage of people admit to being interested in it. But considering it's illegal in a lot of places, nobody talks about it openly.

>>24657895
Biggest fantasy of mine!

>>24657929
There are a lot of things. How excited they get, how thrust like their life depends on it in mid-act, the shape of their genitals and the knotting. Also how taboo it is I suppose.
>>24657931
See? Common.

>>24657954
That makes sense. The idea interested me from an outside standpoint, but I could never do it. Not even because of the taboo/legality - it's because I can't stand dogs.

>>24657895
I'm definitely interested in talking about it. Gender aside, it's been an interest of mine.

>>24657930
Are you a guy or a girl? Who does it more often? Why do you like it so much?

>>24657966
Ask away I guess, I'll answer whatever.
>>24657968
Who does what more often?

>>24657972
Yeah sorry.. is it more prevalent with men or women?

>>24657972
I think that anon was asking whether guys or girls are more predisposed to zoophilia.

>>24657972
Have you thought about including others in it with you? Do you only have them fuck you? Any oral?

>>24657975
From the surveys/studies I've read, about 80% more women than men said they were interested/fantasized about it. So I guess it's more common for women to be interested in it.

I think that typically comes from the fact that men thinking about it (usually) imagine that they would be penetrating, and they aren't interested.

The majority of men I know that are interested in it, and I mean like 95% of them, are the ones penetrated. Only a small percent do the penetration. That's my belief for why more women fantasize about it than men.
>>24657976
Yeah I get that now.
>>24657978
Fantasized about it but finding the partner that it would work with would be pretty much impossible. The few people I know who would totally join and it wouldn't be weird, live in other countries.

>>24657954
How many dogs have knotted you?

>>24657990
I'd imagine it's one of those situations where most people are too scared to admit their interest to begin with. What country are you in, out of curiosity?

>>24657839
Honestly my life is oretty good, my parents are unbelievably patient with me and even if I have emotional outbursts im so grateful and im so lucky to have them.

Different id because im posting from my phone. I was just feeling shitty yesterday and needed to bitch

>>24657991
Actually knotted? One smaller dog.
>>24657997
One of those countries in/around North America. In the general area.

>>24658007
As someone in the US, I've been really wanting to get more into this. Where could I find like minded people?

>>24658007
Have you ever penetrated, or do you always have the dog top you? Also, what does the knot feel like?

>>24658015
I have zero interest in doing any kind of penetration, female dogs don't orgasm from penetration so I don't see why I would.

>>24658012
Happen to find them by chance? Drop hints I guess? I usually just drop subtle hints about it with people online until they ask. It's hit or miss.

>>24658023
Fair enough. What does the knot feel like? And have you ever been pissed on/in?

>>24658025
Like a really firm water balloon that swells from the inside, and throbs kind of like a heartbeat.

And uh, no?

>>24658023
Online is one thing, but I'm more interested with people in person. Mid atlantic people.

>>24658031
Good luck, don't end up in prison.

>>24658030
That's really interesting. I can see why people would like that.

I'm definitely falling out of love with my girlfriend. I really just think we're not compatible, but I can't break up with her now because of the holidays. She keeps talking about how long-term we could be and it's just making me depressed.

26m

My girlfriend and my cherry popper of 3 years recently broke up with me after thanksgiving. I feel so empty and angry. On top of that we are still living together until next Friday. I feel like she has already moved on but it hurts me to think that she's even considered looking for another relationship.

>>24658061
Talk to her about it. If you want to salvage the relationship. If not, break it off asap.the longer you wait the more messy it will become

Test bump!

>>24658038

Welp, Another Anon here, zoofilia is also part of my fetishes integrated into "Big anal penetration / Deepthroat "

I have contacted a lot of people that have already done this sort of thing, specially for training purposes, and I'm slowly but surely advancing to take a 12" dong. Next step will be a horse shaped one, probably bigger.

Some day, I would really love to be used by some pony, donkey or horse.

>>24658509
My ex-girlfriend had fantasies about being used by a horse / pony. Once I told her about a video on youtube that shows zebra ejaculating and she straight up ignored me for days to just masturbate to the video.

Probably one of my biggest fantasies now is that.

>>24658509
Why? Is it the size? Is it the taboo? Are horses particularly aggressive?

>>24658536

I would describe it as a package, I like the size and the form of it. I don't really care about social conventions, so no taboos.

And yes, the roughness is also attractive. Have you seen videos of horse-human penetrations ? It's really.. strong, and the amount of cum is to drool for.

>>24658574
That makes sense. Not my cup of tea, but I can see how someone would like it.

>>24658523

Well, If you really want to try it, or at least get a dong that size in you (there are really good ones with pumps to "cum") I can do an AMA :)

>>24653450
Wew

>>24658588
Oh no I'm not attracted to the thought of doing it, just the thought of watching.

>>24658619
:(

Well, have fun !

26/M permavirgin, diagnosed Aspergers/PDD-NOS.
Socialized enough to keep a conversation going, but too hesitant to reach out to others. Looking at other people's active and varied social, emotional and sex lives leaves me envious, but I'm too much absorbed in my own activities/pursuits and too lazy to actually do anything about it.

>>24657888
It's a common fantasy. Helps people in long-term relationships feel adored and coveted by others, allows people to see their long-term partners through the eyes that they first became attracted to each other.

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I want to have sex with cosplayers in-character, but I'm not sure who to ask for and where.

>>24658061
Do it now. she'll resent you less for not waiting. The longer you wait and fake, the more she'll feel humiliated. Maybe that's why she's talking about being serious with you... she can feel that you're just not that into her anymore

I'm almost 30.

I work full time hours, but I'm considered a part timer.

I'm living with my ex. I have a new girlfriend and I can't wait until I can get out of my situation so that I can start my life with her. Ex is delusional and thinks we can still do things like we used to. It's cringeworthy.

I feel like I am an absolute failure with a normal life. I have nothing together. I am in debt. My life experiences have been excellent, but my future looks like shit if things don't work out with my girlfriend.

>>24656022
And new a new concern is creeping up.

Even though she agreed to get together over break, we still barely acknowledge each other in person. At most there's brief eye contact and maybe a smile. But other than that nothing. We haven't spoken in person since May, when I last had class with her. But we have spoken for hours on end via text every so often.

Today there was the rare chance to just talk for a bit. So I went over to try and talk to her, but my nerves got the best of me, and I just sat at opposite end of the counter. I was shaking, and had an almost audible heart beat. I ended up just slipping away after 10 or so minutes.

I fucked my ex girlfriend's younger brother.

>>24659437
That's fucked up.

>>24659405
Jesus anon.... you go to the same school but haven't talked to her in person in almost 8 months?

>>24659572
Paths don't cross really. And she basically is on campus 8-4:30 without a break. Dense as shit schedule. While I'm there only till 12. So, yea, no real opportunities.

When we had classes together we spoke almost every time we saw each other.

I guess, I'm not in a bad position though, seeing as she agreed to go out.

>>24653168
I have no formal diagnosis. But I still have no friends and envisage my suicide daily.>>24654160
Can we talk off of 4ch?>>24654167
Kik?

I love cheating on my girlfriend with other guys. I want to feel used and man handled the same way I do to her

>>24653168
If u ever feel like just talking about life kik me Anon xxxthejokerxxxx

>>24653450
based

>>24654112
same here same

23 m
I'm alone in this world. After having and abusive/abandoning mother who tried to kill herself but didn't succeed I cut all ties for roughly 7 years. We kinda talk but I usually just ignore her because I am just angry with very thing she has done. After cutting ties I moved on to my dad's and put every fiber of my being into protecting the ones I loved. Being the good son, brother, and friend. No drugs, no party's just my nose a book. I never opened up much to girls for fear of being juged. I'm a nerd. Not ugly. Just nerdy. And also I had to break the heart of someone very special to me to this day because I had to move because of my mother. After high school I went to college started smoking pot to forget all the shit. Family kinda shunned me and I had a kid with an mature girl that I tried to keep a relation ship with, with everything I have in me. She's moved on and I'm better off. But the girl from before and I started talking about a year ago. Got close over texts but things got rocky. Over time bad shit happened to her. And I'm now a dad who's all alone. Obviously there is much more to it. But really it's us less talking about this. I think about killing myself And one day I may. But for now. I'm alone. It's cold, it's brutal, and I can't stop these thought that run through my mind. All I hope for is that one day it gets better. Because really life has been one big let down.

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>23
>no friends
>no gf
>not much money
>live with parents because of above
>work the night shift at a casino in the poor part of fucking Reno
>been getting progressively more depressed with each week that passes

And I kinda love it, because I also make games and write music, and my negativity makes my art much better.

I can give the stuff I make so much power. To the point where I get goosebumps when I get ideas or when I weave my feelings into a piece in just the right way.

Everything works perfect, still got that deep fucking hole in my soul and no qt3.14 gf...
Hold me brehs.

I fugged and sort of dated a 72 year old woman i met off craigslist

Have a long time female friend who I cuddle and do some light fooling around with once in a while. She's about to start dating another good friend of mine and I'm unhappy that that will go away. Worried she won't hang around with me once she has someone to give her attention.

Had to temporarily drop out of college due to money issues, going back and can only afford 1 class, feel like a failure.

Very romantically lonely, no available women around me, feel like there's no opportunity to meet new women.

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I'm a 21 yr old khv with absolutely no relationship experience. I come from a religious household, but don't follow the religion myself. My parents would crucify me if I dated anyone while I was still living with them, but I'm so dependent on them financially b/c housing costs so much that I'm screwed. I don't want to be a 25 year old khv by the time I can finally move out.

I don't want to have one night stands, I want a relationship. It's been so engrained in me that only sluts fuck before months of dating that I'd feel guilty if I ever tried to find some guy on craigslist. Browsing /soc/ and porn is the most "sexual freedom" I can muster.

I don't have many friends and I'm also very quiet/borderline socially autistic. My parents also physically and mentally abused me as I was growing up so an anxiety-ridden mess absolutely unprepared for the real world. A very nice guy is interested in me at college, but I know that I can't act on it because my parents are always looming. They want to know where I am at all times and are very strict. I feel like offing myself some days.

shit sucks when you're a girl in a religious household. I wish they could understand the lasting damage they're doing to me. I tried explaining but they just get mad, there's no escape from here.

just venting.

>>24660844
Its ok bro thats what massage parlors, craigslist and backpage are for

>>24660878
>25 year old khv

Welcome to my world, little lady.

I'm just scared shitless of getting intimate with a girl more than anything else, don't know why.

Give that guy a shot, I'm sure you can make up stuff or find abit of time for him. Where there's awill, there's a way.

>>24660938
I'm also scared of intimacy. I didn't have many friendships growing up and I've never even had the chance to open up to anyone. I can't imagine the stress that would accompany a hidden, first time relationship. I'm already stressed out the ass, you know? Hopefully he's still around when I graduate next year and maybe something can happen. He's also the lone type and has never been in a relationship before.

I wish you the best in your endeavours as well. How's your life like atm?

>>24660837
Tell us more!

>>24660837
lets hear this story.

>>24660844
She'll probably still see you on the side anon, not all is lost.

>>24661004
Nah, was only fooling around cause her now ex didn't give her any attention. Wouldn't fool around behind my friend's back. Hopefully we're still close afterward though.

>>24659821
>>24659845

Claire xexexexexex

I only have skpye

>>24660997
Sorry, on mobile
>be me horny 22 yr old
>go in craiglist, find 50 yr old granny advertising herself looking to meet up with a young guy
>send pic of myself and phone number
>meet at times square
>this woman is way older than 50 but whatever
>walk around , get looks from every single fucking person
>what youve never seen a youngish black dude walking around with a much older women before
>damn this woman is in good shape
> eat at a burger joint talk about her life shes talks fucking alot
>head over to a hotel
>doorman is fuckin massive, easily 6'7 russian, built like a tank
>gruffly shows us to the room
>she lubes up
>go in her with condom on, cant maintain an erection because im half disgusted but half turned on
>after some debate, beg her to let me go in without a condom
>go slowly at first becaus shes old
>says wow youre really vanilla for a black guy huh
>calls me choco boy
>cmon fuck me harder choco boy
>get pissed, go lexington steele on her.
>flip her over pound her doggy style
>do everything but anal pmuch
>pull out pump my load all over her tits
>recharge pretty quickly
>no choco boy i need a break
>figure i should before this woman has a heart attack during intercourse
>damn woman talks too much, says shes helping a kid who was orphaned
>talk more, tells me she never does this but shell show me her id so i can see her real age
>this fucking woman is born in 1944, very fuckin far from being 50 lol
>take the train home, tell bros at work
>get called a sick fuck for 3 months before everyone forgets about it
Doesnt matter, had sex.

22/F with mild Aspergers. I'm stuck between trying to follow my only passion in life and trying to get on my own feet with finding a stable job and moving out of my parent's place. The last job I left fucked me up so bad that even two months later, I'm trying to rebuild my confidence in doing basic tasks. I live in a city where any job that gives me time to pursue acting doesn't give benefits or pay enough to keep me afloat, and I don't want to be one of those stories where I move to LA/NY only to get fucked up the ass by my own lack of training/connections/money.
I want actual training (since our director in high school didn't actually teach and instead left us to our own devices), but again, classes and training require money that I barely have, since the family won't let me use my college funds for conservatories. (I was rushed into picking a college, and the mental breakdown due to the location/people/program was autistic as fuck.) It's gotten to where I've thought about moving to Branson, Missouri, since the arts scene there seems more consistent than where I am, but I don't know anyone there, and I'm anxious about how I could legitimately compete against professional acts who have been performing for years.
If I do end up moving and surviving there, I don't know how things would work out with my boyfriend, who's also an actor, and still struggles with extreme anxiety that crippled him for years. I honestly can't imagine getting far without his support, but I don't know how we would cope as a long distance couple.

once i accidentally cut off my penis with a dragon dildo

>>24653625
Don't do it. I cheated and regret it every day, but I've been with my partner for 6+ years. She knows and we moved past it together. Don't know your situation.

>>24657615
I'm basically in the same boat, except I have a gf who is otherwise great but can be very clingy sometimes. It still feels lonely having all your friends move on or drift apart even when you try to make plans.

The only meaningful friend I've made since school just deleted me off of PSN, but it's probably for the best because they make me feel pretty bad about myself lately, wanted favours not friendship, and we've had problems in the past which were, admittedly, my fault.

i'm low key obsessed with my best friends boyfriend after i hacked her hard drive and found some nude pics of his big dick.

I like to "Edge" and slow fap on road trips. I haven't tried it with a passenger but, that'd be ok too.

I'm a 22-year-old man who has anxiety and depression, but these days it's primarily anxiety that is literally keeping me down (I often struggle to get up from bed and will just lie there, in my dorm, till it's dark outside). Anxiety and angst over many issues, like falling behind in classes and never having been in a romantic relationship, are preventing me from getting things done. I often wonder if God is really out there and is taking care of us. I just want to find someone with whom I can connect at a deep level (common interests, etc.).

I wanted be a mother again-- I still do. Even after a year of trying, it didn't work, and now you're gone. : )
It's like standing outside of a beautiful home you've built for yourself, and watching it burn to the ground helplessly from the street.

so now I'm just stuck daydreaming of swelling whilst I remain empty.

>>24654683
Sorry, but get a new girlfriend - that's a dead end that will fall apart eventually. Best to break it clean sooner rather than later and cut (both of) your losses.

I had a massive crush on my boyfriend's (recently deceased) brother. I was mega attracted to him and sometimes went into his room and dug through his trash looking for a cum-soaked kleenex.

>>24656022
I wonder if her wording indicates that she interpreted it as a date?

>>24657225
Keep it to yourself. It was just an odd sexual phase. You overcame it, why burden her? You need to be strong for her even when she doesn't know - even when no one is there to Pat you on the back.

>>24657225
>>24661905
>cheating on your wife
>be strong for her by deceiving her into wasting her time in what she thought was a monogamous marriage
Yeah, anon! Just hide it from her and don't even give her the choice to leave based on her own principals and expectations of how she should be treated.
Just lie! That makes you a strong man 4 her :)

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just had a girl tell me i need to lose weight. im 6'1 200lbs. shes 5'3 140 lbs. fuck why are women so dumb?

>>24661919
Screwing around online is masturbation. If he had met anyone or some anything you would have a point.

>>24657225
>>24661905
well hold on now lol, he said they resolve conflict quite well.
>>24661919
and it's not like he actually went out there and was fucking some fucking weirdos. I caught my ex doing weird shit all the time online-- he was always so scared I was going to bitch him out and get defensive I literally told him "DUDE, I really don't care, but you need to be asking these people for timestamps, you're getting dicked around" And then we talked about it, he was embarrassed obviously, but I loved him, and I didn't want him to hide things from me, if that's what he wanted to do it was fine and innocent enough with me.
---Point being, if you guys get along as well as you think you do, then all will be well. Just make sure you explain to her that since you're getting married you would like to just tell her the one thing that's been bothering you so you two can start a healthy marriage without regret okay-- always fucking communicate always tell your partner how you feel, tell your partner what you like, what you're into or you will end up like me. Alone & Sad and full of regret. Joey never wanted to talk, and he kept things hidden and it ate away at him until he just couldn't anymore.

>>24661962
hhnnngg short chubby girls

oh i mean srry bro that sucks

>but what her digis tho forreal

My sister and I have been a secret sexual relationship for about 2 years now

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>>24661141
how?

>>24662192
Another fun story. Tell ittt

ump

>>24661135
I don't know a lot about it, but I would have thought Aspergers would make something like acting quite difficult

>>24662192
how old are each of you?

>>24652698
I fell in love with a friend with benefits. An aromantic friend with benefits, months ago, and have been slowly falling apart about it since then. She's moving across the country this year, and she'll probably never know how I feel, and it's killing me.

>>24656022
I'm still kinda in shock that she said yet to meet up over break.

I really hope that it goes through, and we end up in a relationship

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21 M, my life is going down a bad path, and I have no idea how to fix it. I'm in uni studying in a highly competitive field, and even if I make it, I don't want the profession. I'd change my major or do something else, but I've already invested so much and I have no idea what to switch to.

I've never had any dating experience, and even if I overcame my fears of asking someone out, I've not met anyone that I'm interested in. There are virtually no women in my field, and everyone else is either taken or undesirable to begin with, (often both.) I desire intimacy more than anything, but I doubt I'll ever be able to experience it. It makes me feel profoundly sad.

I feel miserable every day. I've developed a few minor, but chronic health issues and my hairline is receding. When I'm not at uni I live with my parents who had their lives handed to them and have nothing useful to tell me, in particular because they contradict one another.

I have friends, but none of them are very close. They'd all disown me if I told them that I lean conservative. Moreover I go to school out of state, so after I graduate I'll probably never see them ever again.

I've never had a real job. I'm terrified of driving. I have no goals, no aspirations, and no plans other than what's right in front of my nose. I hate living, and am very resentful towards my parents for creating me. But of course I never tell anyone any of this - my friends and family think I'm happy as a clam.

I know if I don't make DRASTIC changes to my lifestyle, I'm going to get more and more miserable until I finally die. But from the outside, most people admire me - I'm studious, charismatic, and fairly smart. What the fuck did I do wrong? I feel like I followed the path of least resistance to get where I am, but isn't that what most people do?

Fuck everything. I'd kill myself, but I'm too cowardly, and I don't want to hurt my family. Doesn't mean I haven't fantasized about it for half my life.

>18 y/o college girl with no idea what she wants to major in, failing 2 classes
>also has a retail job where we don't work on commission but we need to work as if we do
>boyfriend is 1000+ miles away going to MIT while I'm in community college
>cue to tfw your stress levels are through the roof, you feel inferior to your significant other and you're constantly sexually frustrated due to their absence
Fun :')

>>24667018
>not just marrying your MIT boyfriend

Problem solved.

>>24661099
>figure i should before this woman has a heart attack during intercourse
Oh my god I had a nice laugh, thank you for the story anon

>>24667018
Thank god. Thank god. I thought I was crazy. It makes me so happy to hear that a woman is sexually frustrated from a lack of sex makes me feel so much better.

I'm damn near in your exact situation except for i'm a guy, I know what i'm majoring in, the girl i'm talking to (who won't officially date me yet until we meet for the first time even though it's been 4 years) isn't in college though. Just relying on her parents right now. No job or anything. But I am failing two classes. At the least.

>>24667037
It's fucking brutal. And most people just ask "well why don't you masterbate?". But for some reason it's just really difficult for me to get myself off. And I'm a particularly horny person so I'm just constantly pissed about that as well

>>24667046
What should we do?

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Dont know what to honestly say. No one to vent to. Extremely terrible relationship pdoblems the past two weeks. Used to consider suicide but to the point where i dont want to. I dont want be dead or alive. Had no child hood. No happy times that much. Grandmother cried last time i talked to her because she said all i talk about is things that make us sad and she prays i can be happy. Lied say i do try. But its very difficult. Sadness doesnt stem from just the childhood issues. But as well as home and public issues. Thinking about killing myself or gping MIA and running to the other side of the country. Dont know what to do. Itd be cool if i could talk to a married female. Or a single female. Preferably one of those three. I need advice on this relationship stuff.

>>24667195
Terrible typing/grammar on my part, please excuse.

>>24667195

>that pic

Holy fuck isnt that the truth. GF broke up with me over a text message tonight after fading away from me for the last month. Like wtf.

>>24661099
wait-- no more people need to read this story ok. I laughed so hard.
>no choco boy i need a break

GO READ THiS STORY.

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>Be Me
>Be person everyone looks at as strong
>Shit childhood
>Mom choose drugs dad left too
>Over came it but still emotionally weak
>Makes everyone else happy
>Really dead inside and wish i was dead
>Jokes about killing self
>Friends laugh cause i seem joking about it
>Deep inside not joking
>Owns 2 pistols
>Pathetic waste of human life

22f super sexually frustrated-- which for me is a new thing i guess : - ] i dont know why but i cant stop thinking about being impregnated. its super fucking erotic to me.
thanks brain for this super irresponsible mildly embarrassing kink.
I have been pregnant before, it was amazing. Again. Again! : D

>>24667219
Care to omegle?

>>24658030
>Talks about love of being fucked by an animal
>Gets weirded out by another fetish

>>24661962
Because you are equally as stupid and need their validation.

>>24655223
Depression can make you take sexual risks. I advise professional help. It can really make a difference.

>>24655364
It varies by medication, honestly. They don't all do that, and if you notice weight gain, you can try a different med. But do what you feel is best for you.

>>24667270
Do you have a Skype? I'd love to talk more about that.

25m

I've been in 2 relationships, and both were abusive. I was raped both times. I've been having weird dreams about sexual contact with my sister when I was really young, and it feels like a vague memory. I'm too scared to ask her. I've had depression since I can remember, and I've been hospitalized a lot. My mom has bipolar and has also been hospitalized a lot. It's weird being on wards where I used to visit her. She has 2 brain aneurysms and a relative died of an aneurysm, so the doctors say there might be a generic component. My insurance got cut off a few days ago, and I just ran out of the meds that allowed me to feel pleasure when doing things, so everything is going to go back to being gray soon. But hey, I just got a job. That's something, right?

I'm in love with a girl, but I really wish I wasn't.

Maybe now I finally understand you a little with the answers you've given me, and everything I knew about you before. I don't really care that you don't care about me at all. Nor do I care what you think about me. I am selfless, but the other day I had to be selfish, in order to find peace within myself. I have gone above and beyond to be patient with you and to understand you. I truly hope that someday you will let someone in through the emotional barriers you've put up, that stop you from experiencing
greater happiness, joy and love. Perhaps you have too high ideals for a lover, best friend or even a close friend. Perhaps you have too thick of an emotional barrier and are afraid of getting hurt. Maybe you're right about you being too egotistic. Only you know yourself. I hope I'm wrong about you, but if I'm right, and what I'm seeing is a glimpse of your soul, then I wish for your happiness over my own. You said you didn't want to bother anyone with your shit. Sorry for sticking my nose there I guess. I may be the only one or few that understands a part of you on a deeper level. You're fine the way you are.

I will always care about you and be there for you, even if you'd rather talk to some mutant being made up of random animal parts! :p

>>24667430
>m
>raped

I'm sorry anon, I will have to add another confession, that just turned me on.

aside that I feel for you, man. Conditions are hard to live with. I guess moving to another country with healthcare is out of the window ?

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I like knowing that people masturbate to me and like looking at my body.

>>24667722
post more then femanon i'll jerk off to you

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>>24667737
?

>>24667740
keep going, lets see dat ass

>>24667270
As a guy I guess this is easily relatable. Every female I've ever fucked I've wanted to cum inside.

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>>24667754
I love ass play. I've had the best orgasms from getting my ass eaten.

>>24667763
i'd eat your ass but only before i stretch it out with my fat dick, keep posting

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>>24667775
Please tell me when u cum so I can cum.

>>24667779
keep posting that fit body, i want to see you naked

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>>24667793
I won't post nudes sorry.

>>24667803
post something where you're bent over

>>24667803
Won't post nudes because it isn't you.

>>24667740
I'll do it live for you ...behappyj

>>24667813
No. I don't want nude pictures of me out.

>>24667840
just keep posting pics, i'm close

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>>24667811

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>>24667842
Mmm me too

>>24667840
Most definitely a dude posting someone else's pics

>>24667847
finished
you're fun

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>>24667850
could be but i have a weakness for milfy types

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>>24667852
Me too. Fuck I just came so hard.

>>24667860
milfy exhibitionists do exist


...i want to believe

25 year old male. struggling with generally everything. restarted my education 3 years ago after failing my previous education. My group is mostly females but given I'm bit older it's awkward in some cases. Feeling like shit in general, directionless in life on a whole. freelancing for money and sucking at my jobs (which coincidentally are the reason i started studying again so double fuck there).
feeling physically not really attractive though my "body count" can say otherwise, let's say i got lucky several times. spent last year discovering various drugs and for the last month or so been burning my brain with amphetamines. took up writing last year to vent, got anxious it's too time consuming and dropped it. loved playing music, was decent at it. got anxious that this kind of creativity isn't going to pay bills so stopped doing that. wasted numerous opportunities to earn and/or do anything as was too anxious i'd fail so wouldn't even start. Family is great, supportive AF but self esteem is going down daily as I'm not 18 and "finding myself' anymore. Ofc single. Realizing I'm still serviceable and should keep doing something is crushing as well since no-one my age i know is floating like shit as i am. so yeah.

first post ever.(yay?)

I'm a shy introvert. I have never actively pursued women but women always pursue me. My first serious girlfriend took over my life, which ended up being good for me, she makes me a better person, went to university, got a great job that pays well. She and I got married and I love her a lot.

I don't know how to reject women (I've been told I'm very attractive) so my solution to this was to get fat, now women don't pursue me much anymore. Wife still loves me.

Problem is I have a lot of health issues now due to being fat. But I'm scared of getting fit again because I don't want to be a cheating asshole.

>>24668085
What the fuck
If you love your wife just say no to other women you idiot.
>this is probably bait anyway

>>24668085

or maybe try to focus on your wife? as in more attention to her? ignoring others.

>>24668114
It's not my wife who cares, she says she has no issue with me sleeping with others, as long as I don't spend any money on them.

My issue is that I was raised by a very religious mother who pounded these morals into me.

>>24668133
My wife doesn't feel neglected, she actively encourages me to go do things on my own.

>>24668166
yeah so do the thing on your own.
the thing of not getting involved with other females

>>24668178
It's hard when women can't keep their hands off you. This past weekend some girl came up to me and started putting her fingers through my hair telling me how beautiful my hair is. I tried to keep it platonic and keep the conversation on hair products but she started touching my leg and hand and winked at me so I basically ran away.

How is it a secret if you give it away on 4chan? Everyone I know tells me their secrets but I don't give up anything. Maybe it is just me but I like my secrets and am loath to part with them for any reason.

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I have Asperger. My life is a shit, I am severely depressed, I suffer of panic attack, i rarely go outside with the bunch of friend I have, and I also started losing them. I study at uni a subject that disgusts me and i can barely study.
I also am in a relationship that suffucates me. I want to quit it but i don't want to hurt my actual GF so next month we do 6 years together.
I am programming to quit my existence once for all

>>24668560
Dude I'm sorry. Don't kill yourself. Leave the chick and smoke some weed.

>>24668577
Bro, can't even do that. I have to piss in the becker randomically at "work". I can't refuse and if they pick me up positive they would kick me out from uni and hospital

So me and my girlfriend haven't been feeling like a couple for awhile now and we have a kid. My best friend is my of a girlfriend then her and shes the god parent to my kid. I'm also stressed a lot cause I work nights. So girlfriend is at her job and bestie comes over. Shes helping me with kid and just being awesome. She knows i have a foot fetish and lets me rub her feet. She starts grinding her feet on my crotch. Have had sex in some time so im super horned up. i start grinding back. kid is asleep in other room my now. so i just take off my pants.I lotion up her feet and she presses them back around my cock. Her toes are surrounding my tip and it feels so good, i start panting like a dog in heat. I notice she put her hand down her pants a is fingering herself as she strokes me off. after a hot while I cum hard. I clean off her feet and my cock. We make some food and watch tv and pretend we didn't do anything.

>>24668594
So your choices are either change radically of life, or die.

Welp, whatever floats your boat ! Or sinks it.

I'm trans.
I'm a 20 yo female and I want nothing more than to be a man. I'm still in the closet and plan on staying there, but I'm worried that I'll never be happy and especially that I can never have a normal relationship or sex life. I stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning every night stressing over my future and can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

>>24668626
Yep, pretty much this.
I am too eaten by depression to even remotely think about make a decision. I am scared about everything and kind of paralized. Everything i'll do will be useful for 2 days and then the bad kicks in.
It's too late to change. I suppose now that we are going forward with the science this is how natural selection works.
It's not anymore a problem of "if or not". It's more something like "when"

>>24668641
What about maleness do you feel is a part of you?

>>24668688
I just am not comfortable with my body. It feels wrong. I have issues with socially being a woman too, but it all stems from my body issues.

So, I've been having sex with my dog for about a year. I honestly don't want to stop. He fucks me so good and I love him, but, I think it's keeping me from finding a bf. I know this isn't normal, but the taboo part leaves me dripping. I can't even believe I'm writing this, even anonymously.

>>24667018
Trust me, it only gets worse from here.

>>24668669
Nope. Your mind, your rules. You are telling yourself a lot of bullshit to escape the situation.

All you want to do is escape and you feel constantly paralyzed due to fear.

You can believe me or not, but you have other choices.

>>24668849
Oh, don't worry, we are a bunch of zoophiles already.

I want to fuck some donkey or horse some day.

i dont know how to fuck

is there a manual that teaches you how to use your dick?

maybe some youtube videos?

>>24653875
I know youve been asked already, but I am so into this. Total turn on. Where are you from? 35 yo wm. Kik? XXmike81

>>24667270
Pregnancy risk is a huge turn on for me... interested? Kik?

>>24668871
You are partially right.
Yeah, is mi mind. That's for sure.
Buuuuut, there is always a but, the fact is I can't control it. What to do?

>>24667722
Might be willing to jerk off to you

>>24668875
Just practice my man. I was really shitty at fucking when I was a teen.

One night stands are pretty much bad sex for everyone involved, the slutty aspect is what redeems it.

The real good fucking is with a long term partner that has the same kinks as you. Once you both really understand what gets each other off neither of you will cum harder.

My wife has just stopped caring. She stays up late, sleeps late, bathes maybe every 2 weeks if even, stopped shaving, hasnt washed any of her clothes in months. She never makes any home made meals if she even makes anything. Usually she just eats a bunch of junk food while I make whatever for myself. She never does any of the house work even though she does not have a job and we do not have a kid so that is literally all she is supposed to do. And of course absolutely no sex at all.

Every reminder for her to get something done just turns into a huge argument about it. I desperately want to just divorce her and cut her out of my life as she has just been a huge hog on my mentally, physically, and financially for absolutely NOTHING different than when I was living by myself.

28/M

I have a friend. She was my best friend for a lot of time. 8-10 years. We chatted in MSN Messenger times and when it dissapeared we stop talking so much and we only exchanged a couple of emails and an invitation to eat a year.

3-2 years ago, we found again in Whatsapp and we begin talking a lot again. I helped her with things like fixing her pc, listening to her fears and pains, etc. She also listened to mine. Everything was good. 2 years ago, I was in a working trip and was alone and horny. I talked to her flirty and she answered my game. she said that she liked me. The problem: I have a gf. She was very shy because of that but we continued "playing". We began to sext a lot. She gave some nudes, I gave her some. Sexual tension grewand with that the desire to fuck. She invited me to her house a lot of times and sent me nudes from her work, from parties where she was drinking, in times whe she knew that my gf and I were going to have sex so I thought about her while I was with my girlfriend. Tempted me A LOT. But I didn't fall.

Not because I'm a good man or because my gf. Hate me, but my love doesn't depends of sex.

I didn't do it because she was virgin. I did not want to take it for myself because I know it is important for girls. I didn't want to hurt her taking it just being a friend.

But that backfired...

She went to a study trip to another country and we played but less and less and suddenly, she stopped talking to me. I was worried about her. The she started talking again, slowly. So cold. She was trying to be normal, but was so distant.

I tried to talk normally to her but something was happening. She said that she needed to stop "playing" and talking to me. That she changed and was hurt. And pushed me away. Now I know the reason. She gave her virginity to a potentially random scumbag found with tinder or in the college. The man fucked her, she wanted more than a fuck, but the man left her.

continue..

>>24669037

And now, I'm hurt. Lost my best friend. Lost my "kinda" fwb. I miss both, the friend and the woman.

I'm in a bad moment in my life. No work. Money, but not much. 1 year without working and then, losing her, it's so fuking hard. Now I have a crippling depression. And I can't say anything to anyone. I'm just fucking dying inside. Wanting to do nothing but die.

I lost my spark. My motivation. I do not enjoy anything anymore. I think I don't want to live anymore.

>>24669054
what about your gf?

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>I almost killer myself
>I was talking to someone about it while I finally you know sacked up
>As I'm about to close the door on life hear front door open and roommate coming in
>FML
>other person chain texts to roommate that I'm only alive because he came back in time
>roommate laughs and says people say I'm gonna kill myself
>laugh a little don't really talk
>roommate gets drunk as fuck and falls asleep on couch

Pretty sure he didn't believe me and started to drink to deal with it and then slept near me to make sure I didn't try again.

tl:dr I'm probably going to kill myself.

>>24668961
I can't tell you what to specifically do, but consider this: What's worse, deal with a breakup and a change of work, or just fuckingk ill yourself. Come on, you have tu pull it off.

Talk with your gf about it, believe me, she will be understanding. Unless she's a total psycho.

>>24669174

And why in the mother of fuck someone that at least has enough friends and people that care about him enough to try to stop you.

Don't you see it you fuck, not everything is fucking lost. Why do you want to kill yourself for.

>>24667389
post yours and ill add you because i dont want a bunch of people adding me please :]
..if you're still here...

Oh I think I have something to confess.

My latest two crushes were fucking porn actresses I found in videos in a website. I'm feeling alone enough that these have been my only source to dump my emotions to. As soon as I realize I'm going down that route though I immediately quit it, and yes it does hurt a little bit.

>>24657455
Hey. I 'd be interested in helping you out if youre down. Guess it depends on where youre from. Kik?

My ex posts nudes on /soc/, I don't know how to cope with it. It's been 6ish months and I still wake up in the middle of the night to the realization that she's not there. When does this end?

I think about killing myself at least 3 days a week

I know I'll never get what I want out of life and it makes me think "why even try"

I don't want to be myself, I literally hate everything not just my appearance but even my personality, choices, addictions, the way I am to other people. I hate being so creepy and beta, I hate being a hypocrite, I hate being poor, I hate knowing I'll never get the kind of wife I want

I'm not even compatible with myself and I would have died a long time ago if I didn't believe I'd go to hell

Where to start...

24, out of shape and awkward af

In the closet bisexual. Leaning more gay these days.

Did make a new friend early this year. Falling heads over for him but I don't think he's bi/gay.

And even if he is, he's that perfect bit of 18 year old twink, why would he waste his time with me....

My lesbian roommate got drunk with her girlfriend and the two passed out naked in their room. I took photos, I had sex with both of them, and they never knew.

>>24669483
are you a m or f? where did u cum and are they hot?

I have an odd enjoyment out of going to a certain place in a game, finding ooc encouragement while I fap just because the human interaction...

I prob need to get out more or something.

>>24669389
They don't really care so much for me as they don't want to see my friend go through the pain of losing me.

I don't have much going for me, I'm just a waste of resources at this point.

Lost 3 of my closest friends in the past 2 months, last one said that i didnt really know her even though ive spoken to her for years. Really losing hope in humanity atm.

>>24659821
>No friends
>Envisage my suicide daily

That sounds more like depression than autism.

>>24653168
do it faggot

>>24652698
I once buttfucked my ex-gf while she was unconscious on her schizophrenia meds. probably the most thrilling sexual experience of my life.

>>24670060
Any pics? Maybe pair of her undies as a trophy

>>24670074
sorry, don't have any. she did have a great ass tho

I've turned down girls who wanted to fuck because I wanted to be a good Muslim and I regret it because I'm too low-value for a really submissive virgin wife, I'm fat and poor and creepy and can probably only pull a fat slut

I want a girl who wears niqab in public but does ddlg with me at home. And that's incredibly unrealistic but it would make me so happy

I have a friend with benefits and took photos of her without her knowing and jerk off to them every few days, been tempted to share them on /s/ on those "pics you shouldn't share" threads but way too paranoid somehow she will find out.

>>24652698
I don't take rejection well. I feel like I'm always used by guys. They just keep me around to make them feel better. And once they realize I won't sleep with someone I'm not in a serious relationship with, they don't care to move things forward. In the past, when I have slept with them, they used me for sex. I always feel disposable to people and like I'm just not good enough. I'm far from perfect but I make a good girlfriend. I want so badly to get married and have children.

28 female. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder, severe depression, and anxiety. Currently on SSI. I'm embarrassed about it. I'm trying so hard to live like a normal adult. I feel like I don't have much to offer anyone. I have lots of great qualities. Despite the illnesses I'm pretty upbeat and fun to be around. I guess I just feel like a loser.

>>24653450

....oh

>>24653512
>
Hey I don't completely ruin them; if anything I make it easier for other guys to fuck them.

Most of my prey are pretty but shy, sheltered, 'Girls Next Door' types; I'm sweet and patient with them while I bring them out of their shells.

That's when they usually fall in love with me; it's then that the deviant sexual acts usually begin. Drugs, rough sex, daddy talk, cam shows, videos/pics, etc


You groom them. That's what sexual predators do. You're a major contributor in the horrible things wrong with humanity and this world.

>>24653875
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. So incredibly sorry. I went through long-term abuse as well and have some a daddy daughter role play fetish. I've posted two other times on this thread because of all the issues the abuse has caused me.

>>24670965
Thanks. It's good to know I'm not alone. I feel so fucked sometimes tho. Fucked some married guy earlier tonight. He was a piece of shot but he liked treating me like a little girl and it made me so wet. Ugh I fucking hate myself.

>>24670921
Sounds exactly like what my gf is going through.

>>24660477
I wish I could hug you.

>>24657455
18?

Found out recently that what I thought was ADD and generally being a total faggot was actually an anxiety disorder. Being prescribed ADD meds for years was making it worse. Now I'm on actual anxiety meds and feel like I wasted the last 8 years of my life. Being socially inept, beating off as a drug to escape the anxiety when it actually made it worse and gave me ED temporarily, and performing poorly in school. Now I finally feel like I can overcome all those demons but I'm pretty sure the final I just took wasnt quite good enough to keep me from getting dropped from my grad program. If I had been correctly diagnosed 2 years ago, I might very well be the person Ive been striving to be for years. Instead, I have no idea what Im going to do with my life when I get my grades back and get dumped out of the only track Ive ever considered pursuing.

>>24669563
Then you *do* have a friend. And what's more, you could have more, and a better life, but you just want the easy route. Straight to the tomb with you, right ? Fuck the world, right ?

Coward.

>>24670946

Oh that's hardly the case. He's just a product of either bad parenting or some brain defect. Humanity is doing well.

>>24671055

Try to speak with your school about this. They usually have all short of social policies and programs to evade that.

I feel like I (19f) have such a stupid problem right now. My boyfriend (21m) and I are currently in a long distance relationship since 6 months and there is no dirty talk happening.

I always try to send him sexy pics when I feel like it but I never get anything in return. I feel ignored and that I'm not good enough for him. Does one of you anons know why he really hates to sext back?

>>24671131
Quite a lot of people actually get more embarrassed to do that short of thing over a camera, or by text instead of irl, try to discuss it with him instead of jumping to conclusions :)

27 M, The only girl I feel like I can be honest with and really connect with is my best friends ex. We became quite good friends while they were dating. I have a crush on her, not sure if she feels the same way. Sometimes I get the feeling she does.

I'm really into transgender girls

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I want to raceplay like fucking mad.

I can't be in a relationship because of my fucked up mindset.

The fact a girl could give their attention/have a meaningful relationship with other people besides me and the close people around me does something weird with my head.

I get annoyed and ghost the person. I i decided to try online dating and met a perfect girl I really connected with and she was really into me and vice versa. The moment she was with friends I dropped her.

I don't know how to use any form of social media or app. I feel like a caveman.

>>24671106
I have been thinking about that but I will be out of the country when grades come out and I'm uncertain they will entertain my plea. I'm going to try anyway no matter what, and I have no doubt my doctor will back me up, but I have my doubts it will be of any help.

My story. Sorry, No TL:DR

>Be 17
>Adequate social skills. Not exactly a charmer, Haven't had a girlfriend yet but at least lost my virginity at a party
>Meet Femanon, she's 16
>Make friends quickly, She's fun to hang around and easy to talk to
>grow to like her more and more over the summer months
>Start spending more and more time
>Starting to fall for her
>One day when she's really in heat, We end up having some of the most intense sex I've ever experienced over and over until late into the evening
>Want her so bad, but She was in a tumultuous on/off relationship with her boyfriend and I just happened to catch her during an off-phase
>But I didn't care. I relentlessly pursued her
>Win her over a almost 6 months later
>She's finally my girlfriend. At the time, i couldn't think of anything I wanted more
>The years go on
>We dated, we fought, We fucked, we had drama, we spent entire days off just cuddling.
>But she always seems to be getting sick. It's like she has the flu for an entire month on end
>I tend to her to the best of my ability, I hardly made any money at the time but I do what I can
>Forward to age 20
>When the ACA kicks in, she gets coverage on her Mom's insurance again
>We take her to the doctor to try and figure out why she's getting so sick so often
>General practitioner Send us to a few specialists
>Go to a blood work lab, they run tests
>Doctors ushers us into an office to speak about the test results
>He has the most distraught expression I've ever seen on a person
>my spine goes numb just as he's about to speak
>My girlfriend is in stage III of ovarian cancer
>He's estimated she only has about 7 months to live.
>We don't want to believe it, we go to other doctors for a second opinion
>but the results are the same every time, only with less generously estimated remaining time
>She goes through chemotherapy, even though the likely hood she'll survive at this point is in the single digits

>>24671428
>I try to be by her side. I try to help her any way I can. I try to comfort her like when she was ill with what we thought was the flu
>Nothing works. She does nothing but cry all day. pretty much what I spend most of my time doing
>call out more and more from my shitty retail job to be with her, end up losing it eventually
>She spent so much of her energy getting mad at me. She was pissed off there wasn't more I could do to help her
>I was pissed off at myself too for the same reason, even though there was hardly anything altogether that could help
>spend what little money I've saved trying to buy all sorts of pills, prescription or just off the street. anything to kill the pain. It's all that could be done at this point

>I remember the last time I saw her. As weak as she was, she still managed to utter a few sentences
>She asked my why did this happen to her? What did she do to deserve this?
>I tear up. I've been wondering that for the longest time myself and all I can answer is 'I don't know'
>After she quiets down, I leave her hospital room. I say "I love you, Femanon. Thank you for being part of my life". No idea if she was conscious enough to hear it
>Don't visit her for a week. Her brother finally calls me and tells me she passed away. Official report was her kidney's shutting down due to the cancer spreading.
>As crippling as it was to hear that she finally succumbed, it was nothing compared to watching her gradually die over the five months she was in treatment.
>The misadventure was over
>I resigned myself to the den at my Dad's house where I was staying at the time
>Spent whole days without coming out. Slept for 14+ hours a day, spent the rest of them either crying, reviewing the series of events in my head or staring off into space
>I had already lost my appetite a great deal by that point, dropped 20 pounds from the stress alone.

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>>24671430
>Try to use alcohol to numb the pain. It worked for a little bit but after a while it it just made my distress worse and it does stilltopresent
>Emerge a few weeks after the matter
>My family tries to comfort me, they just make shit worse. Almost all of them individually tell me they know what its like to lose somebody because they had a break up
>Lashed out at each and every last one of them when they uttered that stupid shit, occasionally violently
>Had to get that rage under control, because that is exactly what I heard from more and more people and still do; Freinds, extended family, coworkers. They still all tell me about how hard their break up was on them and I still want to rip their kidney's right out of their goddamn carcass every time I hear it
>The months go on after her passing. I gradually become more capable, even though my experience haunts me
>Keep having nightmares about the series of events. Every time I do, I wake up in a cold sweat.
>Was able to find interest in some sorts of solitary recreational activities to distract from the pain
>Even as late as a year after she passed, There would be nights where I was sitting around with nothing to do and I would reach for the phone on an impulse and say to myself "I wonder what Femanon is doing". Then about the time I was scrolling through my contact list was I yanked back to reality

>Finally, about 8 months after the misadventure ended, I Happened to run into one of my instructors from college, one I had remembered fondly.
>Tell him about what happened. He says He's going through hard times too. He invites me over to his house to talk about it.
>Lo and behold, when I get there he goes on to tell me that he was going through a divorce. Tells me about his bad break up, just like everybody else
>it didn't get me Irate this time around, I just sort of phased out while he was telling his story.

>>24671431
>Hardly even got to say anything for the remainder of the hour but I didn't even care at that point.
>No person I've spoken to was able to relate a similar experience and I would probably never find one, at least not in person
>I leave, thank my instructor for inviting me over. I was actually glad I went because showing up forced to realize that no help is coming.
>I knew from then on that this was something I'll have to swallow entirely on my own. Coming to terms with that made me sink into a state of callousness, estrangement, detachment and apathy which in turn helped me grapple with my experience more and more
>After enduring so much of it, I was relieved for the Detachment to finally liberate me from the grieving
>After that, I gradually got back to working and slowly resumed my family and social life
>I wouldn't quite say I was healed, but I was functional

>It's been five years since she died
>I try not to talk about it with anybody seeing as that never yields flattering results
>I'm most of the way rehabilitated but there have been some bumps in the road
>Occasionally I'll still have a nightmare about it and about a year ago, while I was on a date, I ended up get drunk at a party, falling to the floor and having a bad episode in front of the whole room. When I came to, I bolted up from the couch some friends carried me to, grabbed the nearest stranger in a panic and asked where Femanon was. I don't even remember how I got home but needless to say, I never heard from that date again. Nice for my experience to butt it's ugly head into the picture when I'm trying to move on

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>>24671437
>Other than that, I've become most of the way functional for nearly everything. Even able to form and maintain relationships but that's taken a dark turn
>I genuinely enjoy almost nothing, I've only grown more callous, more detached, and extremely manipulative
>I hardly care about any of the people I call friends and family. Even when they're hurt, sick or injured it doesn't stir me in the slightest.
>If I was able to pay for their treatment and charge them ridiculous interest, I'd be a loan shark at standby everywhere I went
>But I still maintain relationships with all of them and expand my contact list because I know all of them are potentially useful
>I get ahead strictly by smooth talk and feign interest only so I can bend them to my own liking be it in professional life, sex life, family life, social life or something else
>I've long since gotten into sales. That's a type of job where such a mindframe can really help you excel
>of course, even when I genuinely accomplish something, I still can't do anything but let out an unimpressed sigh
>As time goes on, it only seems to be getting worse and worse.
>I have a nagging thought in my mind that I'm becoming a monster, but It just doesn't bother me no matter how I look at it. The ability to be concerned is simply not there
>I'm glad I've been able to make a profession out of it and haven't degraded into some psychotic criminal or killer.
>It's her birthday on Tuesday. I tell myself I wish I could forget it ever happened but It shaped so much of my life that if you were to suddenly take it away, I wouldn't even know who I am

Well, that's my experience. Thanks for reading

I'm pregnant. It's not my boyfriend's.

>>24655335
>She doesn't see that it doesn't matter, that god goes by many names and several forms but that's ok. She'll learn.
Fuck religious people, god. Can't your little autistic head consider that maybe none of you has a 100% correct answer? You're fucking discussing beliefs, whats this "she'll learn" bullshit? You deserve to be alone.

>>24655454
So.. What's your excuse?
Or more importantly what's your plan?

>>24671442
You have been deprived of your light, ando now you aren't but a hollow husk.

I hope you find another light in this life.

>>24656993
Ha, great post. You're like a detective.

>>24671537
For the love of God don't let him raise a kid that it's not his.

>>24671635
I wasn't going to.

>be 7
>neighbor comes over to play a lot. He's 12
>he playfully keeps pulling my pants down
>eventually he starts to touch me. kiss me.
>eventually he makes me kiss him. touch him. I like the attention I get
>weeks later I give him lots of head and let him fuck me
>weeks after that he makes me steal my sister's panties to wear around
>weeks after that he's fucking me in my sister's panties regularly

I pay women to send me nudes, not like cam girls, regular women on facebook. It always amazes me they say yes to a faceless profile, they usually try and justify it saying its for their family or kids. Though I really don't give a shit I don't even fap to the pictures or videos I just like seeing if I can make them do it.
I have learned that when they say everyone has a price its true.

>>24671931
What color and do you have a pic of your sister panties? So hot!!

>>24672131
Can you post some of the conversations? That's crazy hot. How do they know you are going to pay up?

>>24672149
I could but it's literally just I'll pay you to send me nudes, then like a few days of convincing them and I don't feel like making 4000 screenshots.
Also you ask for conversations to be posted not the nudes, well I might have considered it but not now after this gay request. So you can blame this anon for fucking that up
I usually send a small amount I wouldn't mind losing then it convinces them I'm straight up about it.

>>24672166
>I don't feel like making 4000 screenshots.
kek
>Also you ask for conversations to be posted not the nudes, well I might have considered it but not now after this gay request.
kekekek

Screenshots or you're full of shit

>>24672138
All that I remember are white panties with roses on them and another silky red pair (there was a green matching pair but he didn't like those much)

>>24672177
Wow great choices. I wish you were my neighbor. ;)

>>24672182
since then I've been raped by a woman and have had a very sexual life.

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>>24672170
>Implying you wouldn't call them fake